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“Hyung, you have a fever,” Minghao confirmed, his palm shifting from Joshua’s forehead to his neck, double-checking his temperature.
Joshua frowned, doubting the younger. “Ridiculous. I never got sick in like ten years.”
Wonwoo scoffed at the exaggeration. “Remember the bad fever you had last year?”
“Okay so maybe in one year.”
“The bad cough you had last month?”
“Okay. You had a point.”
This explains his heavy eyes and the constant pressure in his head. Since last night, Joshua admitted he has been feeling out of his element, his body sluggish and heavy. He brushed it away as mere signs of exhaustion, but it feels worse even after a night’s worth of sleep. Why couldn’t he figure out sooner that he’s simply sick?
“Your temperature is quite high. I think you should skip. It’s just not worth struggling through class, and I can always lend you my notes,” Minghao suggests, stepping away from Joshua and folding his arms.
Wonwoo agreed. “And your attendance is more than enough. Just skip this one and rest.”
True, Joshua had been struggling throughout the last class, keeping himself awake by chewing gums and pinching himself. Though his notes are flawless, he didn’t understand a single thing written on it. At this point, he’s so sleepy that he might pass out anytime in the middle of the next class.
“Right, you’re right,” he finally says.
Minghao helped packed his bag, ushering him to stand on his feet. “You should go before class begin. Quick.”
“Right. I’m going.”
“Are you sure you can go home fine?” Wonwoo questioned, willing to help Joshua home if needed.
The older shook his head, pushing Wonwoo lightly by the shoulder, forcing him to sit back down. Joshua pouted at the concerned look of his two friends. “Calm down, you two. I can take care of myself. I’m not a baby.”
It’s hard to convince them when Joshua is pouting openly like that, sulking exactly like a child. Cute. Sick and drunk Joshua is always clingy and whiny, bringing his adorableness into another whole level, making them want to spoil and pamper him more.
Minghao tucked away the thought of teasing Joshua after he recovers later. “Hyung, call us if you need anything, alright?”
Wonwoo added in a beat. “Don’t leave your phone on silent.”
“Guys, I’m fine. I’m a grown adult, okay,” Joshua huffed, showing that pouty look again.
“Sure,” Minghao gave a small smile, patting Joshua’s head and leading him to the door. “Head back safely and take a good rest, okay?”
He said that, but Joshua proceeds to disappear for the next three hours.
Hence the group chat exploded, worrying for Joshua’s condition, and hence the reason why Jeonghan is standing in front of Joshua’s apartment. Somehow, for one reason and another, the rest of them are occupied with their own plans, and Jeonghan is left alone to tend to the sick person.
Honestly, Jeonghan is quite bothered, as he hasn’t seen Joshua the entire day. Through the group chat, he finds out about Joshua’s high fever and him skipping class to take a rest. It was an extremely rare occasion for Joshua to skip a class, knowing how diligent and persistent he is, and it makes him even more concerned.
On his hand is an assortment of get well soon kit from Seungkwan and Seokmin, who can’t come along because of their band practice. Joshua is supposed to be their guitarist, so Jeonghan wonders, what are they even practicing at this point? Putting aside the rest of the member’s equally suspicious agenda, Jeonghan shifted to look at his phone call history, as he had been calling Joshua nonstop for the past hour to no avail. He gnawed his lips, eyebrows furrowing, unable to contain his concern anymore.
Jeonghan fished out his spare key and entered the studio apartment, finding it completely dark. He could make out the shape of Joshua deep in his sleep, wrapped by a thick blanket and curled into a ball. Slowly, Jeonghan approached the bed and reached out for Joshua’s forehead, peeking through the layers of blanket, and was shocked at finding it alarmingly hot. On a closer look, Joshua’s breathing is labored, and he kept squirming under the sheet uncomfortably.
Joshua’s phone is placed by the nightstand, and it was put on silent. Jeonghan sighs as he browsed through the notification, flooded by text messages and missed calls mostly from their friends, including Jeonghan himself.
Great, just great.
Him being out of reach makes Jeonghan a hundred times more worried, and his bad feeling was indeed true; Joshua’s fever has worsened. Though Joshua is great at taking care of himself and he recovers quickly from sickness, he’s also the type to treat his own condition lightly.
Joshua must be thinking a nap will suffice. Look where it brought him right now, suffering under his sheet, groaning and tossing around from the fever. If only he wasn’t stubborn and rely more on his friends. On Jeonghan.
Jeonghan’s fingers fiddled with the end of Joshua’s bangs, feeling the heat without touching his skin.
“I’m worried, you idiot,” he whispers, eyes fixated on Joshua’s sleeping face, laced with affection and concern.
Being sick is awful.
Joshua couldn’t grasp his consciousness clearly, slipping in and out of his hand as if it was a slippery eel. The moment he arrived home, he was painfully aware of his aching body, burning and hurting, begging for him to rest at once. But he couldn’t sleep peacefully. At times, he would be half-awake, wondering how many hours has passed, and then he would go back to sleep the next second, before waking up again, and the loop continues.
Even after what feels like hours of sleeping, he woke up in a trance, his head pounding and his body aching, and he was devoid of any energy. More importantly, his body is burning from the inside and yet he’s feeling cold, wishing for more layers of blanket. He won’t survive if he keeps this up.
“Shua.”
A familiar voice.
He thought he’s dreaming, but the fingers pressed into his forehead feels real. The touch feels good, giving him company and relief.
“Hannie,” he muttered weakly, unconsciously smiling under the blanket.
Jeonghan’s voice is much softer and gentler than it usually is. “Yep. It’s me. You’re burning up.”
Joshua hummed as a response, keeping his tired eyes closed.
“Did you drink any meds?”
“No… meds are for the weak…”
He sighs, clearly disapproving Joshua’s life choices. “Shuji, come on. It should be the first thing you do. How would you survive without any medicine?”
Really, Joshua wasn’t in the mood to argue with him, so he’ll let Jeonghan nag as much as he wants for today.
Consider this a luxury, Jeonghan, he thinks to himself.
“You’ll have to eat, even just a little. Do you want porridge or soup? I brought both.”
That explains the smell of food in his apartment. Joshua prefers porridge and he hopes Jeonghan gets it, because he’s too weak to word it out.
“Alright, porridge it is.”
As expected of his best friend.
“Just a few spoonsful, okay? Can you sit up?”
Joshua didn’t stir in the slightest, so Jeonghan gently stroke his shoulder, rousing him up. “Shua, listen to me. Let’s eat a little, drink the meds, and then you can go back to sleep, okay? Just a little, I promise. Bear with me, okay?”
He helped Joshua sit down, hoisting him up and rearranging the pillow to support his back. Joshua shivers at the contrast of temperature between his feverish body and the cold air outside the blanket. Once Jeonghan deemed Joshua is sufficiently comfortable, he worked with the porridge, holding a spoon to Joshua’s lips. Joshua narrowed his eyes at the spoon as if gauging his enemy, before reluctantly parting his mouth open.
“Good boy,” Jeonghan praises him as Joshua took the first spoon.
Slowly, he chewed the porridge, which is weird considering there’s nothing to chew in the first place. It was clear Joshua had no appetite, the porridge tasteless and tacky in his mouth. He needs to thank Jeonghan for bringing him food and feeding him spoon by spoon, being considerably gentle and attentive today. For Jeonghan and his kind gesture, Joshua would try and stomach three more spoons.
But Joshua had to stop at the fourth spoon, shutting his lips tight, shaking his head slowly like a little child when the spoon is held in front of him.
“Shua? Come on, just two more spoons, okay?”
At this point, he’s a little irritated when Jeonghan kept saying “one more spoon”, one after the another, feeling like a child fooled by their parents to eat more vegetables. Joshua pouted, trying to get under the covers to avoid the spoon.
Great, he’s acting like a child too.
Jeonghan gently rubbed his cheek with the back of his fingers, coaxing him. “Just a few more spoons, okay? Let’s eat a little more so you can feel better. I promise, after this and the medicine, I’ll let you go to sleep, okay?”
Exactly as if Jeonghan is babysitting a sick child. But hey, no one is complaining.
Joshua complies for two more spoons and when it comes down to the last one, he paused.
“You’re doing amazing so far. Just one more bite, okay? I promise.”
His persistent words won over Joshua. He had to swallow the last spoon down to end it fast, or he’ll throw up their entire hard work for nothing. Jeonghan was quick in putting aside the rest of the porridge and holding a mug of water for Joshua.
“Here, meds.”
“I’m fine. I’ll just go to sleep,” Joshua refuses to, turning his head away.
It’s not that Joshua is childish and he hated the taste of medicine, but he simply thinks he didn’t need one. He’s convinced a nap will suffice in lowering his fever, forgetting that he had been doing so for the past few hours, and so far his condition barely improved.
“Joshua,” Jeonghan’s voice is firm, sending a slight shiver to Joshua’s already muddled brain. The medicine will relieve his pain and help him sleep better. Jeonghan is painfully aware at how uncomfortable Joshua’s current state is, and he’ll do anything to help him feel better in the slightest. “Be good and drink the meds, okay?”
Jeonghan leaves no room for debate, moving to sit on the bed next to Joshua and holding his shoulder to keep him in place. Joshua knew Jeonghan is going to force him, and he was frankly quite tired, not in the mood to argue much, so he lets his head fall on Jeonghan’s shoulder in compliance. With his gentle fingers, Jeonghan pressed the pill into Joshua’s lips, parting them slowly open.
Joshua’s lips are hot, and Jeonghan wishes his fingers could linger there, an urge itching him to do more.
He casted the thoughts aside and focuses on Joshua, helping him hold the mug with his unsteady hands. Finally, Joshua swallowed the medicine.
“Good boy,” Jeonghan smiles at him, making Joshua all fuzzy and warm inside. Perhaps, it’s the fever.
“You’re treating me like a child,” Joshua huffed.
“Well, you are acting like a child.”
The simple act of sitting down is making Joshua quite dizzy and nauseous, and so he snugly rested his head on Jeonghan’s shoulder, feeling immediate relief. Joshua closed his eyes, relishing on the feeling of Jeonghan’s fingers raking through his hair, giving his scalp a light massage. He could hear a chuckle from Jeonghan, reverberating across their bodies, pressed together.
“Does it feel good?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“It’ll feel better if you sleep now. Let’s get you to sleep, alright?”
To Joshua’s dismay, his head had to leave Jeonghan’s shoulder. He feels a little bad for Jeonghan doing all the work, tidying the pillow and helping Joshua settles back into the bed, but there’s nothing Joshua can do at this point except being obedient. Honestly, it feels good to be pampered and taken care off, especially when he’s feeling vulnerable from sickness like this.
Jeonghan tucked the blankets all around him, making him comfy and cozy, and Joshua lets out a dreamy, relaxed smile, closing his heavy eyelids.
“Do you need anything else?”
Joshua faintly shook his head.
“Hmm, right,” Jeonghan’s tone is telling Joshua he had an idea of what is missing.
Oh. Joshua exhales in content when Jeonghan strokes his head, leaving soft touches and caressing the strand of his hair. His smile grew wider, eyes curling adorably.
“Does it feel nice?”
“’s nice,” Joshua whispers.
Jeonghan chuckled from above him. “Oh? It’s nice? You like being babied like this?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“What else do you like, Shuji?”
In this hazy state, with his light and fuzzy mind, Joshua’s thought drifted and wandered off from the simple question alone. What else does Joshua likes? Guitar. Acoustic. Sunday morning. Beads accessories. Pottery. All sort of arts and crafts. Beanies. Scarves. Wine. Cheese. The scent of floral and wood. Bunnies. Pasta. Ice cream. Jeonghan.
Jeonghan.
Joshua’s eyes snapped open and he took a momentary pause, feeling his heartbeat accelerating.
Did he just—did he somehow admitted he like Jeonghan?
“Shua? Something wrong?”
Joshua realized how ridiculous he must’ve looked, thoroughly baffled with his eyes wide and mouth hung open, briefly forgetting he had a fever. Internally groaning, he quickly pulled the blanket up to his face, hiding from the rest of the world.
“… Shua. You sure you can breathe like that?”
“’m fine,” he mumbled, trying to suppress the embarrassment coming to him.
This fever is truly causing him to lose his mind. Why is Joshua overreacting in the first place? It’s normal for him to like Jeonghan; after all, they’re best friends. But his reaction insinuates something more, a feeling hidden deep inside of Joshua, only revealing themselves in this vulnerable state.
“Don’t be stupid, you’re suffocating yourself,” Jeonghan yanked the blanket down.
They’re stuck in a ridiculous tug of war before Joshua lost, thanks to his currently sick body, now he’s even more tired than before.
“That’s why don’t do stupid stuffs,” Jeonghan easily reads his mind, tucking the blanket properly under Joshua’s chin. As he straightens himself, Jeonghan notices Joshua has been staring for a while, somewhat in a trace. “Something on my face?” he inquired, raising an eyebrow curiously.
Joshua, caught in the act, shook his head meekly.
He’s acting weirder by the second and Jeonghan wasn’t sure if it’s the fever or if he’s originally like this.
“Be a good boy and go to sleep, okay?” he patted Joshua’s chest from above the blanket, as if lulling a child to sleep.
“Are you leaving?” Joshua murmured faintly, looking like a lost baby deer, not wanting to be left alone. It does wonders to Jeonghan’s heart.
“Do you want me to stay?”
Joshua pursed his lips. Will he sound clingy—will the situation be weird if he wanted Jeonghan to stay?
At his lack of response, Jeonghan sighed and returned to sit on the chair. “I’ll stay here. Who knows what stupid antics you’ll do next if I leave you unsupervised?”
At the accusation, Joshua pouted, and in response Jeonghan gave him a bright smile.
Is it just Joshua or is Jeonghan stupidly more handsome today, together with the attentive gesture and that charming grin of his? Is it butterflies in his stomach or is it a side-effect from being sick?
Yeah, no.
Joshua is delirious. He needs to sleep, rest well, be healthier, and get out of this weird headspace. His body relaxed and he was second away from falling asleep, when Joshua hears the soft voice by his side.
“Sweet dreams, Shuji.”
The first thing Jeonghan feels when waking up is his sore back and the sun beaming directly on his face, making him groan and in a bad mood this early. It took a moment for him to remember where he is currently, blinking as he registered the unfamiliar yet familiar ceiling.
Joshua’s apartment.
Oh, the things he does for his best friend.
Because Joshua told him to stay, Jeonghan had to sleep on the floor, using a flimsy and thin mattress as his bed. To make things worse, Joshua’s fever refuses to lower throughout the night, making Jeonghan desperate enough to spam their group chat (and he’s minutes away from calling an ambulance before Seungkwan talked some sense into him). The fever only broke around 3 a.m. It’s clear Jeonghan had barely any sleep in him.
Cracking his neck and sitting down, Jeonghan turned and coincidentally, Joshua’s sleeping face is directly facing him. He looks peaceful and serene after sweating the fever completely off from him. What a stark difference from his condition a few hours ago, groaning and tossing in his sleep. Sleeping on the floor is worth it for a healthy and happy Joshua.
Jeonghan pulled himself up and sat on the bed, fingers gently settling on Joshua’s forehead, checking his temperature for the umpteenth times in the last 24 hour. His fever is indeed gone and Jeonghan sighs in relief, with Joshua still content in his dreamland. Slowly, Jeonghan lets his touch trails down to Joshua’s cheek, before settling on the side of his neck, under the pretense of confirming his temperature on another spot. Once Joshua stirred, Jeonghan lifted his fingers off and went to get himself a cup of water, as nonchalant as possible.
He returned to find Joshua awake, rubbing his eyes and stretching his arms, looking quite refreshed and energized.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Jeonghan greeted him.
Joshua blinked dumbfoundedly, never expecting Jeonghan to actually stay the whole night. He does remember bits and pieces of Jeonghan taking care of him, but Joshua thought half of them is a figment of his dreams. As Jeonghan approached the bed, Joshua moved to make room for him to sit.
Jeonghan gently tugged on Joshua’s bed hair, attempting to fix some of the ridiculous ones. “Feeling better?”
After a quick self-diagnose, Joshua gave a little nod. “My fever is gone.”
“Yeah, but are you feeling okay?” at another little nod, Jeonghan smiled in satisfaction. “Good.”
“I’m a little thirsty.”
“Do you want to skip class today?” Jeonghan handed Joshua the cup he drank from before, and Joshua slowly sipped from it to relieve his dry throat.
Joshua doesn’t have to weight his choices. He has recovered now, but he wanted to take it easy today. “I think I’ll skip the morning one.”
“Really? That’s rare of you. Maybe you’re still sick, Shua,” Jeonghan gave a fake surprised look, his hands roaming Joshua’s face, exaggeratingly taking his temperature. At his annoyed expression, Jeonghan laughs, throwing himself on top of Joshua’s legs. “Then I’ll skip too. I want to take a nap.”
Joshua frowned, kind enough not to kick Jeonghan off. “Did you really sleep on the floor the whole night? Then go and take a nap first.”
“Maybe I did. So, I’ll take up on that offer,” Jeonghan rolled over to the empty space of the bed, settling himself comfortably next to Joshua, sighing at the sensation of the soft bed.
“Hmm, I want to take a bath.”
Jeonghan’s voice is muffled, his face buried among the pillows. “Later. You haven’t recovered completely. Just wash your face first and take a bath later.”
“Bossy,” Joshua commented, nudging Jeonghan with his knee. “I’ll cook breakfast then, just stay here and have your beauty sleep.”
“But you’re sick, Shua.”
“And I don’t trust you with the kitchen.”
“But I reheated your porridge last night. Oh, right, there’s leftovers from the soup. You can reheat that.”
“Alright,” Joshua chuckles, climbing out of bed.
Jeonghan relaxes his body, letting his mind drift away, as an attempt to sleep. There was tinkering voices from the kitchen and it didn’t take long for Joshua to call his name, and he had to leave the bed reluctantly.
The breakfast of toasts, eggs, and last night’s soup are laid by the small dining table, spacious enough for two people. As they sat across from each other, their feet occasionally get tangled together, kicking and nudging each other playfully. Joshua takes his time chewing on his food, a slow eater as always, and Jeonghan kills the rest of the time by reassuring their friends that Joshua is indeed alive and well. Even after Jeonghan is done and sets his phone down, Joshua hasn’t finished eating, so he decided to watch.
Though last night is a hassle and a pain for his back, Joshua is quite adorable when he’s sick. For strangers, Joshua is a gentleman, mild-mannered, and well-behaved, but Jeonghan knew how much of a brat he could be.
Even though it pained Jeonghan to see Joshua suffering, sick Joshua is really cute. In his fever-induced mind, Joshua is more docile and vulnerable, more accepting to other’s people help, even to the point of becoming dependent and clingy. Jeonghan likes it better when he had the upper hand on Joshua, which is honestly most of the time.
However, it was clear not an ounce of sickness is left in his best friend, as he is quite energetic and feisty, his words coherent unlike the nonsense he’s spouting yesterday. Joshua is truly back to normal, and honestly it feels a little regretful to leave it at this.
“You know, you sleep talk a lot yesterday,” Jeonghan said.
Pausing his breakfast, Joshua scrunched his eyebrows together, spoon hovering above his bowl. “Did I? My fever is so high. I barely remember anything.”
Huh.
Jeonghan perked up at the revelation. The scheming part of his brain is turning their gears rapidly, and he smiled behind his hand. The moment Jeonghan opened his mouth, there was no turning back.
“Shua. Don’t you remember saying anything to me last night?”
“Hm? What did I say?” Joshua tilted his head, as innocent and unsuspecting as ever.
He stared at Joshua for a moment, gauging the timing, before he finally spoke. “You told me you like me.”
Joshua halted his movements. “You told me… you like me?”
“No. You told me you like me,” Jeonghan corrected.
“I said that.”
Jeonghan sighed, rolling his eyes, and decided to put his fingers to good use. “You,” he pointed to Joshua, “told me,” he pointed at himself, “that you”, he pointed back to Joshua, “like me,” he pointed back at him. He repeated the words and the gesture faster, his fingers going back and forth between them. “You told me you like me. Your fever is high, so... I guess you really don’t remember, huh.”
Never has Jeonghan seen Joshua’s eyes widening this much. At this point, he looked like an idiot, mouth hung open with a completely baffled expression.
Cursing internally, Joshua wishes he’s still sick and this is just a hyper realistic dream thanks to his high fever. At the back of his mind, he does remember something like this happening—Jeonghan questioning what else does Joshua likes, and Joshua mentioning a few of them—but it was all said inside his mind, not spoken aloud.
Did he just… say it out loud?
Of course. Joshua said it out loud. Otherwise, Jeonghan wouldn’t find out.
Panic, dread, embarrassment—it all mixed into one and Joshua’s brain malfunctioned.
“I was sick,” was the defense Joshua could only say, his expression awkward and stiff. There are lots of other reasons he could go with, and yet this is the best he could muster.
“What does that mean?” Jeonghan pried further.
“… I wasn’t right in my mind. You said I sleep talked a lot, so it must be that,” Joshua’s voice is monotone, avoiding Jeonghan’s gaze, failing badly at appearing casual and controlling his panic.
Jeonghan’s expression turned somber and it made Joshua more nervous. “…So, you didn’t mean it, when you say you like me?”
“No—no, what are you talking about, of course I like you as a friend—”
“Joshua.”
Joshua shut his lips tight at the sudden harshness from his best friend. The anger shown by Jeonghan is understandable. After all, Joshua is doing such a cowardly move, avoiding the answer and speaking in a roundabout way. If only Joshua is as impulsive and uncaring with his words as when he’s sick.
“Please be honest with me, Shua.”
Jeonghan is unrelenting, unwilling to let go of Joshua so easily. It’s not right for Joshua to run away. Maybe, confronting his feelings would be the best for both of them.
“Wait, give me time,” Joshua hastily told him, turning his body away, making room for him to think.
Somehow, in the middle of his high fever yesterday, his feelings come out unrestrained, and Joshua admitted he likes Jeonghan—he is in love with Jeonghan.
As much as Joshua hate to admit it, it’s true. Him and Jeonghan has been best friends all these years and it would be a lie if Joshua says he wasn’t attracted to Jeonghan. There was a certain part of him who had been feeling this way for a while. How can your heart not flutter when the Yoon Jeonghan is smiling at you with his devilishly charming face?
They are always by each other’s side, and most of the time Joshua is able to keep his feelings in check because being with Jeonghan is just comfortable and easy. He could brush his feelings away since the risk isn’t worth it.
But now the cat is out of the bag.
How can Joshua salvage this situation—how can Joshua save their friendship?
Jeonghan is the sharpest tool in the shed; there’s no way to lie or hide things from him. It’s better for Joshua to admit it and offer a solution, telling Jeonghan that it’s fine to treat as if the confession never happened, and they should continue being friends without minding it. Joshua is sure the ache in his heart is temporary, and they will go away soon.
Arriving at a conclusion, Joshua lifted his head up and urged himself to speak faster than he can change his mind. “Jeonghan, the thing is—I’m sorry this is weird and—”
“Shua, calm down.”
At Jeonghan’s prompt, Joshua took a deep breath, calming down the thudding heartbeat beneath his chest. Then, he started over.
“Jeonghan, I was sick and my brain is in a weird headspace where I started saying everything I’m thinking without a filter. And that’s why I accidentally blurted out my feelings. What I said… is true. They’re really what I feel for you,” Joshua forced himself to look at Jeonghan, and he grew hopeful when Jeonghan isn’t showing any hint of discomfort.
This is Jeonghan, his best friend for four years, the closest person in Joshua’s life, and not some random stranger. Jeonghan is never going to judge and he will accept Joshua no matter what. Joshua can confess anything to him comfortably.
“I mean it when I say I like you, Jeonghan. The truth is, I just realized it during my fever. I’m sorry, but it was really a delirious confession, I wasn’t thinking straight. That’s why, we both can just pretend it never happened. Let’s forget what I said before, and we can—"
“I like you too.”
Surprises after surprises.
Joshua thought he was probably hearing things, and yet Jeonghan’s smile is presented right in front of him, so overwhelmingly fond and bright.
“I like you a lot, since long time ago, Joshuji,” Jeonghan repeated louder and clearer.
To be honest, Joshua was expecting the speech of “thank you, Shua, I appreciate your feelings for me, but…” and not this.
“Jeonghan… are you serious?” Joshua questioned, blinking his eyes dumbfoundedly, unable to believe a single word. Because really, at the moment, his heart couldn’t take any jokes.
Jeonghan leaned forward, his hand reaching out and clasping Joshua’s to reassure him. “I am serious, Shua. I’m not exactly upfront about my feelings for you, but you aren’t exactly the observant type either.” In fact, Jeonghan can only categorize Joshua as painfully oblivious.
“Hey!”
“I’m not wrong, you know,” Jeonghan let out a small laugh, and Joshua can feel the tension leaving him. “But it’s real. I’ve been in love with you, for quite a while.”
Just as Jeonghan can tell whenever Joshua is hiding something, Joshua can tell whenever Jeonghan is telling fake or genuine words. It feels too good to be true, seeing Jeonghan truly sincere to his feelings, reciprocating the same kind of love towards Joshua. Even so, this is a completely new revelation for him. Jeonghan has realized his feelings for a while now and for Joshua… it takes Joshua one fever.
“I… I only realized my feelings now. I’m sorry, Hannie,” Joshua groaned into his palm, feeling the embarrassment seeping in. “And imagine me confessing when I’m sick.”
Why can’t Joshua realize his feelings and confess like a normal person?
“Don’t feel bad, Shua. Well, it did take a while, but at least we reached this conclusion, right?” Jeonghan grinned with his teeth and poked at Joshua’s pouting cheek. “Hey, come on. Why are you the one sulking here?”
Joshua swatted his finger away lightly. “I just feel like it’s unfair for you.”
“Why?”
“I told you. I only realized recently, and I confessed to you because I’m sick and out of my mind.”
Jeonghan hummed nonchalantly. “But you love me, right?”
Despite spending time with Jeonghan for so long, Joshua is always taken aback by his straightforwardness and smugness. Throughout the years, he learned that the best way to counter fire is not with fire, but with water.
So, Joshua mustered his entire feelings, thinking of only Jeonghan and Jeonghan, and pouring it into his response. “Yes, I love you, Jeonghan.”
Oh. Jeonghan’s smile is simply unfair, dripping with sweetness and laced with affection, causing Joshua’s chest to tighten. He wanted to cry at how blissful this moment is, when your sincere feelings are responded with equal sincerity.
“Then it’s all that matters. I love you too, Shuji,” Jeonghan spoke so lovingly and Joshua was unsure he deserves this, but Jeonghan will make sure Joshua understands that he does.
Jeonghan’s fingers found their way onto Joshua’s cheek, stroking them gently, and both is lost in each other’s eyes. They hovered closer, leaning against the table, as if there’s a magnetic force bringing them together. The two lingered for a moment, their lips an inch away, as if confirming their intention, before closing the gap.
Joshua sighed, relishing on the sensation of their lips pressed together, soft and perfect. Jeonghan moved first, tilting his head to deepen the kiss, and their lips begin moving in tandem, slow and warm. It is sweet and cozy, a perfect kiss for an early morning together with your beloved, downright domestic, filled with fondness and familiarity.
When they break apart, their breaths are still mingled together and Jeonghan is leaning into another kiss, but Joshua slightly pulled away, leaving him disappointed.
As much as Joshua wanted to continue and is pleased at Jeonghan’s scowl, there’s something crucial budging his mind. “Wait, Jeonghan, won’t you catch my fever?”
Jeonghan glared at him at the absurdity, his arms reaching out to pull Joshua closer again. “You’ve recovered, and even if you haven’t, I don’t care.” As if he would hold back from finally kissing Joshua. Jeonghan would have his fill and he wouldn’t have it any other way. “Come here and give me another kiss.”
He could never deny Jeonghan’s request, and so, Joshua leaned into another kiss, and this time he is surprised at Jeonghan’s fervor. There is only a few second difference between the previous kiss and this kiss, and yet it is completely different. It was far more heated. Jeonghan is truly trying to devour him whole, indulging in Joshua’s delectable lips and enticing tongue, swallowing the beautiful gasps Joshua is letting out. The intensity made Joshua’s legs weak and the core in his stomach tightens.
Joshua thinks he’s having another fever.
“Shuji.”
The two decided to skip class for the rest of the day, deciding to spend time together just cuddling and kissing on bed. Joshua was about to drift off to sleep, cozy and safe in the arms of Jeonghan, until he heard the endearing nickname being used.
“Hmm?”
“Don’t get mad at me, okay?”
Joshua perked up at the strange request. “Huh? Why?”
Jeonghan let out a mysterious hum, squeezing Joshua closer to his body. “So... the thing is… the whole thing about you confessing to me when you’re sick? It didn’t happen.”
“… What?”
“So yeah, you didn’t accidentally say you like me.”
A pause.
“What?”