Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sangwoo was studying in the library, sitting at a secluded table so he'd be left alone, when Jaeyoung arrived.

He pretended to be irritated, even as a sense of calm washed over him as Jaeyoung sidled into the seat next to him. He was expecting some kind of bothersome interaction, was almost hoping for it, but Jaeyoung just laid his head down on his arms against the table and went to sleep.

Sangwoo tried not to think about the last time they'd been in this position in the library, when he'd irrationally aimed to draw on his face as some ridiculous act of petty revenge. He tried even harder not to think about the last time Jaeyoung had fallen asleep in the same room as him and he'd kissed him for the first time. It didn't do him any good to remember those things, even if they were in a relationship now. His behaviour when it came to Jaeyoung was completely irrational; he wasn't sure what to call it, largely because he was desperately trying not to examine it too closely, even now.

"Stop staring at me and study," Jaeyoung said, burrowing further into the crook of his arm. How he knew, when his eyes were firmly shut, Sangwoo had no idea. Maybe it was a shot in the dark. Maybe he could feel his gaze even through closed lids. Either way, Sangwoo felt exposed.

"Why did you come here then?" He asked petulantly.

"I sleep better next to you," he mumbled.

That definitely didn't make his heart flutter. Not even a little bit.

He forced his attention back onto the books in front of him, and for an hour the time passed peacefully. Annoyingly, he really did find it easier to concentrate when Jaeyoung was around, and he was more productive in that hour than he had been in the two preceding it.

The clock ticked over into a new hour, and he could see the sun's rays beginning to streak as the late afternoon really took hold.

Jaeyoung lifted his head and yawned loudly - bothersome - and stretched enough that the hem of his shirt showed his midriff - distracting - and then got to his feet like he was leaving - unacceptable.

"Where are you going?" He asked, trying his level best to sound unfazed and, judging by Jaeyoung's smirk, completely failing at it.

"Relax, I'm just getting coffee. Do you want anything?"

He thought it over. While he was actually sort of desperate for coffee, he didn't want to owe Jaeyoung. "No."

"Coffee it is."

"I said no."

"Your face said yes," Jaeyoung said, and before Sangwoo could ask what it meant, he grabbed his jacket and leaned down to kiss Sangwoo’s forehead.

He kissed him like it was automatic, like it was a tiny thing, before he strode away through the shelves.

Sangwoo, however, had completely short-circuited.

He kissed my forehead. What does that mean? He tried to run scenarios in his head, to figure out what that said about their dynamic. The only person who had ever kissed his head was his mother. Jaeyoung wasn't particularly maternal, so it wasn't that. He'd seen couples do something like that before, he was sure of it, but he didn't know what that represented in their relationship. Was it casual or serious? Important or not? Did it matter?

He was still sitting like that, staring into the middle distance, when Jihye showed up and, noting the bag on the chair beside him, opted to sit across from him instead. She dropped her books onto the table, startling him from his reverie.

She giggled brightly. "You're distracted today!"

"Hm?" He tried to redirect his attention to her but he wasn't doing a great job.

Her smile faltered. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

He shook his head slowly. "...no."

She stared at him inquisitively for a long moment. Realisation dawned when Jaeyoung returned with Iced Americanos in hand, putting one in front of Sangwoo before he plonked down in his seat, leaning back contentedly.

"What did you do?" Jihye asked him, accusatory.

Jaeyoung blinked. "Bought coffee? I would have got one for you, but as usual, I didn't know you were showing up here."

"Sangchoo oppa is upset," she glared. "You must have done something."

Immediately, Jaeyoung was sitting up, leaning forward, ghosting his hands around Sangwoo like he could figure out what was wrong by touching his aura or something. His eyes darted all over him, searching his face for something. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Sangwoo couldn't help but feel amused and a tiny bit touched by his obvious concern. He shook his head. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Jaeyoung frowned. "Did I do something? Did I make a mistake again?"

"No…" he hesitated, but he had his full attention now, so he may as well just say it. "I just- why did you do that?"

Jaeyoung looked like he was trying to remember every single thing he'd done since he arrived. "Do what?"

Sangwoo pointed at his forehead. "That."

"Oh!" Relief flooded Jaeyoung's features, chased almost immediately by that look of concern again. "Sorry, I should have warned you first-"

"No, it's not bad, it just… I'm confused."

Jaeyoung propped his elbow up on the table, giving him his full and undivided attention. He did that a lot. He liked to appear frivolous, but when he was interested in something he became singularly focussed. It was part of why Sangwoo liked him in the first place. It was also incredibly overwhelming when you were the subject of that attention. "What about it is confusing?"

From anyone else, that question would have sounded condescending. From Jaeyoung, it sounded like he was observing some obscure piece of artwork and trying to get to the deeper meaning behind the brushstrokes.

Somehow that felt more exposing than the forehead kiss and now Sangwoo was regretting bringing it up. He ducked his head, avoiding Jaeyoung's gaze and belatedly wishing he hadn't stopped wearing his cap. “I don't know what it means.”

Jaeyoung hummed thoughtfully. “It doesn't really mean anything.”

“What?”

“I don't know, it's sort of… a thing people do.”

“But you don't do it with anyone else.”

“How do you know?” He said teasingly, and for some reason it made Sangwoo’s chest pang with something he didn’t recognise. The idea of Jaeyoung doing that to anyone else was abhorrent to him; he wanted to keep it for himself. Jaeyoung flashed him a flirtatious grin. “Maybe I do it all the time - you’re not with me all day.”

“Do you?” Sangwoo asked, deadly serious.

Jaeyoung faltered. He seemed to realise he wasn’t taking it seriously enough, and straightened his spine a little - Sangwoo wasn’t even sure he knew he was doing it - eyes going wide with earnest emotion. “No.”

Rather than revealing more answers, Sangwoo was only getting more confused, and confusion made him frustrated, and frustration made him irritable. “So it does mean something - you just lied.”

Jaeyoung shook his head immediately. “That’s not what I meant. I meant it doesn’t have any particular significance universally, it’s generally meaningless, it just depends on context.”

“So what was the context for you doing it?” Sangwoo glowered.

“What are you two talking about?” Jihye interjected curiously.

“I… you know the context,” Jaeyoung said, like it was obvious.

Sangwoo’s frown deepened. “No, I don’t, that’s why I asked.”

“Seriously, what is this all about - maybe I can help?” Jihye interrupted, waving a hand between their faces to get their attention.

"Don't worry about it," Jaeyoung muttered.

"He kissed my forehead," Sangwoo said.

Jaeyoung made an unimpressed face at him as Jihye gasped. "Why would you tell her that?"

"You wouldn't react this way if it didn't mean something," he pointed out.

"It means that I like you! You already know that!" Jaeyoung huffed, like somehow Sangwoo was the one who'd done something wrong.

"But you didn't do anything else," Sangwoo said. "Usually you only do stuff like that when you want to do… things." He trailed off, glancing at Jihye, who looked appropriately scandalised, and also no small measure of amused.

Jaeyoung snorted. "I don't always want to sleep with you, Sangwoo."

"Every piece of evidence I have begs to differ," Sangwoo raised an eyebrow.

He shrugged. "You got me there. I mean, like, I don't only want to sleep with you. I like you, so I just like spending time with you."

"And kissing my forehead."

"Yes."

"What do you get out of that?"

"Well, I can't make out with you in the library-"

"I beg to di-"

"-differ, yeah, okay so sometimes we make out in the library, but I mean openly.”  Jaeyoung huffed. “Sometimes I just want to kiss you in public.”

Sangwoo felt his ear growing inexplicably red. Why he was so affected by that idea, he had no idea. It wasn’t like they didn’t kiss all the time, it wasn’t like this was news, and yet for some reason it made him want to melt into a puddle. Jaeyoung’s effect on him really was ridiculous. “But it doesn’t mean anything? It’s just… a thing you want to do?”

“Yes,” Jaeyoung swayed closer, eyes dropping to his lips. “Is that okay?”

He swallowed, trying to maintain focus. “Y-yes.”

Jaeyoung smirked. “Why? Do you want something more?”

Jihye sighed loudly. “God, could you two be less in love in front of me? Some of us are single.”

Jaeyoung’s gaze cut across to her and Sangwoo inhaled shakily, moment broken. He wondered when he’d be able to be normal around his boyfriend, but at this point he expected this was probably going to be his new normal. He should probably just accept it.

Jaeyoung smiled over at Jihye. “I could set you up with someone if you want? You’re pretty, and nice, and much as I hate to admit it, you’re very fun to have around - I know people who’d fall over themselves to date you.”

“You’re just saying that because you don’t want me to steal your boyfriend while you’re in France.” Jihye joked.

“I’ll be gone for a month; if you think you can steal him then, you give it your best shot,” he winked at her and she giggled.

“Do I get a say in this?” Sangwoo asked.

“No,” Jaeyoung deadpanned, leaning in to kiss his forehead again, and Jihye threw a rolled up ball of paper at them, complaining loudly despite the smile on her face.

Chapter Text

The first time Jaeyoung slept over, Sangwoo knew he’d have to adjust to some things.

For a start, his bed wasn’t designed to have two people sleeping on it, which in any other circumstance would have been deeply frustrating, but somehow having Jaeyoung curled around him, arm slung over his waist and holding him flush against his chest wasn’t bad in the slightest.

It helped that Jaeyoung kept being stupidly respectful of his boundaries.

“Do you want me to leave?” He’d asked, when they realised it was past midnight and they were still on the couch going over small edits to the software.

Sangwoo shook his head. “You… you could stay?”

Jaeyoung blinked slowly over at him. “Do you want me to?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” he smiled warmly and leaned in to kiss his cheek. He’d been doing a lot more of those since their conversation in the library: casual forehead and cheek kisses just to punctuate a sentence. It was nice. “I can sleep on the couch-”

“Why?”

Jaeyoung tilted his head at him.

Sangwoo felt a blush rising in his cheeks. “I mean- I… I do have a bed.”

“And you don’t mind me sleeping in it with you?” Jaeyoung said, choosing his words very carefully to avoid making the obvious innuendo. It was adorable, and unnecessary.

“I think I’ve made it abundantly clear that I don’t mind almost anything you do,” Sangwoo muttered, embarrassed.

Jaeyoung’s face melted into an almost cartoon-like heart-eyes expression and Sangwoo couldn’t look directly at it, like staring into the sun. He ducked his head, which only gave Jaeyoung license to lean in and kiss his cheek again, lingering this time, before dropping little kisses over his face, which Sangwoo pretended - unsuccessfully - to be irritated by.

“You’re so fucking cute,” Jaeyoung beamed, arms sliding around his waist to tug him closer, basically pulling him into his lap, so he could kiss him easier. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Sleep,” Sangwoo raised an eyebrow.

He snorted. “As you wish.”

Even when they did finally make their way to the bed, some hours later, exhausted and stumbling, Jaeyoung didn’t try anything. He just kept his hand on Sangwoo’s lower back to guide him to the bathroom to brush his teeth, and then stayed in the bathroom while Sangwoo got changed outside, and when he emerged he was wearing just his shirt and boxers, jeans slung over his shoulder. He folded them onto the desk chair and put his jacket with them, and approached carefully.

Sangwoo rolled his eyes at the overly cautious behaviour and grabbed his hand, dragging him haphazardly onto the mattress. They both went still, hyperaware of Jaeyoung’s body on top of his, and Sangwoo blinked up at him, unable to do anything but breathe.

Jaeyoung smiled, soft, and leaned down to kiss him briefly on the lips. Sangwoo found himself stretching up, following him as he pulled back, and Jaeyoung chuckled as he manoeuvred himself to the side, back against the wall and head propped up on his hand so he could look down at his boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Was he ever going to get used to that?

Sangwoo shuffled up on the pillow so he could look back at him. “Do you have enough room? My bed’s not built for two people.”

“If your bed was bigger I’d be miserable, actually,” Jaeyoung made a point of snuggling closer.

Sangwoo didn’t even bother trying to hide his smile, just rolled away and let Jaeyoung curl around him from behind, legs tangling as they both drifted off to sleep.

In the morning, he found it harder to get out of bed than he ever had before, and not just because Jaeyoung’s arm was heavy. There was something strangely calming about waking up basically surrounded by his boyfriend, with his chest pressed against his back, the weight of his arm on his waist, the scent of him that had soaked into the bedsheets and made his entire room smell like him. For the first time in a very long time, he felt truly comfortable.

He managed to peel himself away - running two minutes late - and tried to brush his teeth as quietly as possible so as not to wake him. By the time he got out into the living room to do his morning exercise, he was running five minutes late in his efforts not to disturb his boyfriend, and he considered skipping them, but he’d rather be later than disrupt his routine altogether; besides, since Jaeyoung entered his life, he’d worked more time management into everything so that he always had at least twenty minutes of leeway, at first because of the red-stalking-lunacy and then because he actually wanted to get distracted by the senior.

He was halfway through his routine, arms lifting at his sides, when he felt two familiar hands snaking around his waist from behind, chest vibrating with barely suppressed laughter. It was the same laugh he always did when Sangwoo did something he didn’t understand but found endearing. Which happened more and more lately. Sangwoo tried not to think about how much it affected him to know how happy Jaeyoung became around him, like an excitable puppy. Or in the case of this morning, a barely awake puppy.

Jaeyoung tucked his chin into the crook of his shoulder, eyes closing as he mumbled sleepily, “Morning.”

Sangwoo let his arms drop. “I’m trying to exercise.”

“And it’s very cute,” Jaeyoung hummed. “Do you do this every morning?”

“Yes.”

Jaeyoung dropped a kiss behind his ear. “You’re so efficient.”

“Why does that sound suggestive?” Sangwoo frowned, trying to see his face better and being scuppered by Jaeyoung’s arms around him, holding him fast.

“Because you always think the worst of me,” he said. Then, after a pause. “And because it was. I can’t help that you’re sexy, Sangwoo-ya.”

Sangwoo felt his ears growing red and tried to shove him off, to no avail. “Leave me alone, I’m trying to exercise, you already made me late.”

“How did I do that? I’ve been sleeping,” Jaeyoung said, with the tone of someone who knew exactly how.

“You’re so fucking annoying,” Sangwoo sighed heavily, resigned to the fact that this was his actual boyfriend now.

Jaeyoung grinned at him and then buried his face into his shoulder, breathing him in, and it made Sangwoo self-conscious for some reason; somehow it still surprised him that Jaeyoung was so attracted to him. “Keep exercising, I won’t stop you.”

“You’re holding onto me,” Sangwoo pointed out.

“Mhmm,” Jaeyoung’s response was muffled against his shoulder, and he could feel his lips on his shirt. “I won’t get in your way though, I’m just gonna go back to sleep right here.”

“How is that not in my way?” He argued, shoving fruitlessly at his arms again.

“I’ll be quiet,” Jaeyoung said, and exhaled slowly, seemingly relaxing completely just from holding him close; he really did look like he’d gone back to sleep again.

Sangwoo tried to maintain his irritation as he finished his exercises, but he just couldn’t, not when it was so nice to be held so close like that, with absolutely no ulterior motive. Not that Jaeyoung always had one - in fact, he rarely made the first move - but the reminder that Jaeyoung was just interested in being around him for the sake of it was something that was still hard to get used to, even a few days and weeks into their relationship. Especially with Jaeyoung leaving in a few short weeks, he was weighing up the pros and cons of getting too used to him before he left, and reminding himself that Jaeyoung wanted to be with him so he didn’t lose faith in the month he was gone. It was a delicate tightrope walk, and one he’d never had to do before, but having Jaeyoung take every opportunity to reach out and touch him, to pull him close, like he was having the same internal struggle, it made him more secure in his feelings.

“Are you finished?” Jaeyoung asked.

Sangwoo realised he’d stopped moving, too caught in his own head, and was standing there letting his boyfriend sleepily backhug him.

He turned around in his arms, sliding his own up and around his neck, watching as Jaeyoung blinked the drowsiness from his eyes to give him his full attention.

Jaeyoung tilted his head. “You’re going to be late.”

“I’m already late,” he complained, but pressed up on his toes to kiss him anyway.

If Jaeyoung was going to keep staying over, he was probably going to have to get used to being late.

Chapter Text

It had started under tables.

During lunch, or in the library, or even on the odd day when Jaeyoung still showed up to Sangwoo’s lectures, just because he wanted to spend more time with him - Jaeyoung would reach out blindly underneath the table and intertwine their fingers.

Sangwoo tried not to react, not to panic in the face of how dangerously close they were to just openly flaunting their relationship in a public space that wasn’t always friendly to people like them. Not to mention his own personal hang-ups with PDAs and how unnecessary he’d always found couples who couldn’t take their hands off each other in public. Surely there was enough time in the day for them to save it for when they were in the privacy of their own home?

Except now he understood it, at least a little bit.

The days never felt long enough, in the lead-up to Jaeyoung leaving. They were apart for too much of them, and when they were together it always felt like the outside world was in the way, at least until they got back to one of their places or Jaeyoung’s studio and could actually have some real time together. Even then, they had to work on the game, and no amount of closeness while coding could compensate for just devoting their full attention to each other. It was beginning to get on his nerves.

Jaeyoung was going to leave in less than two weeks, so his anxiety about that started to outweigh his anxiety about being noticed holding hands.

Which is why he didn’t even register it the first time Jaeyoung did it in public.

They were walking to the cafeteria for lunch - ostensibly to eat, but mainly because Jaeyoung was tired of looking at the computer and wanted an excuse to see his friends - and Sangwoo was trying to fix something on his phone. He didn’t see the bike coming towards him until Jaeyoung’s hand wrapped around his elbow and yanked him backwards. He stumbled into him, startled, and Jaeyoung smiled indulgently down at him.

“Can’t you take a break for five minutes?”

“I want to fix this before we get to the cafeteria.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to be rude to your friends,” he admitted. “It’s rude if I ignore them.”

Jaeyoung’s smile looked like it was threatening to burst off his face and sing a ballad. It was disconcerting. “Since when have you cared about that?”

Sangwoo bristled. “Since they’re your friends and I like you.”

Jaeyoung ducked his head, blushing. “God, that’s so unfair; you’re so fucking cute.”

Sangwoo sighed. “Plus, I like Choi Yuna. She’s loud, but she’s nice to me.”

“Ooh, that’s high praise coming from you.” He teased, swaying closer. “Okay, you finish fixing whatever you’re fixing, and I’ll keep you out of the way of passing vehicles, deal?”

He nodded, one-handedly editing the software while Jaeyoung tugged on his other one, keeping him in a straight line. It was very efficient - Sangwoo didn’t have to be aware of his surroundings at all, because Jaeyoung was doing it all for him - so by the time they reached the cafeteria, he’d finished it.

Jaeyoung pulled out his chair for him and he pocketed his phone as he sat down, greeting the others politely.

Yuna smirked at him, and Hyeongtak looked slightly bemused, but that was a fairly common expression on his face, so he didn’t think much of it.

Until Yuna said, “So, you’re at this stage of the relationship already, huh?”

Sangwoo frowned, confused. “What stage?”

She laughed and gestured between them, to where Sangwoo and Jaeyoung’s joined hands were sitting on the table. “The holding-hands-in-public stage.”

He blinked, registering what they were doing, and flinched, trying to take his hand back.

Jaeyoung only held it harder. “What are you running away for? We’re already in a relationship.”

“What if people see?”

“Who cares?”

“I do, what if they say something-”

“If anyone says anything, we’ll tell them it’s none of their business,” Jaeyoung shrugged, like it was nothing. Sangwoo supposed that for a man who’d already been in a relationship with other men, he was used to this, but Sangwoo had never dated anyone before, let alone another man. Aside from his own reservations about public affection, he knew exactly how badly it could go for them if they weren't careful.

He glanced around the crowded cafeteria. “What if someone doesn’t like it? What if-”

Jaeyoung’s expression hardened into something a lot more serious than he was used to. “If anyone doesn’t like it, they can ignore it. And if anybody tries to get in your face about it, I will kill them.”

“It’s true, he will,” Yuna said, chewing on a bite of her carrot stick while she waved it around for emphasis. “One of his high school friends got beaten up by his brother for being gay and Jaeyoung went over there and taught him a lesson. It was glorious.”

Hyeongtak nodded aggressively. “He defended me from bullies too - they were treating me badly because I was their subordinate, like a slave, and Jaeyoung saw it happening and got them to back off. It’s how we became friends.”

“That’s my little baby,” Jaeyoung said teasingly, patting him on the head sarcastically. “Don’t you forget who raised you.”

Sangwoo tried to ignore the slight flicker of jealousy he felt seeing his boyfriend ruffle another man’s hair, reminding himself that there were perfectly platonic reasons for doing that, and besides, Jaeyoung was literally holding his hand.

In public.

He was pretty sure of Jaeyoung’s affection for him.

He raised his eyebrow at him. “So when you defended me in the bar, you would have done that for anyone?”

Jaeyoung hummed thoughtfully. “Yes. Probably. Does that bother you?”

Sangwoo grinned and tugged their joined hands closer, bringing Jaeyoung nose-to-nose with him. “Actually, it makes me like you more.”

“Really?” He asked, suddenly breathless and eyes darting towards his lips.

“Really,” he smiled and kissed his cheek. It was the first time he’d done something like that and he felt a burst of pride at the blush that spread on his boyfriend’s cheeks at the action.

“You two are disgusting,” Yuna said, grinning widely. She jerked her chin at Sangwoo. “I guess you’re not worried about being seen anymore?”

Sangwoo shrugged and nudged Jaeyoung back to his seat, picking up his chopsticks even as Jaeyoung sat in a lovesick daze. “Why would I be worried? My boyfriend will take care of it.”

“Boyfriend,”  Jaeyoung whispered. It was almost as big of a reaction as Sangwoo had the first time he’d heard it, but unlike Sangwoo he wasn't hiding his smile. He scrunched in close, dazed, beaming face between Sangwoo and his tray. “Say it again.”

“Eat your lunch,” he deadpanned, popping food into his mouth.

“Okay,” Jaeyoung giggled. “Because my boyfriend told me to.”

Sangwoo rolled his eyes, and Yuna and Hyeongtak started teasing them both, drawing some attention from nearby tables, and - despite the occasional eyes on them and some loud whispers he was pretending not to hear - throughout the entire lunch hour, his hand didn’t leave Jaeyoung’s once.

Chapter Text

With less than a week before Jaeyoung was flying off to France for a month, Sangwoo was feeling irrationally clingy. He was desperately trying to pretend he wasn’t, because he was still trying to hold onto the fantasy that he was an entirely rational being, but the closer the day got, the more on edge he became.

With five days to go, he had basically moved in with Jaeyoung, or rather, Jaeyoung had moved in with him. It wasn't particularly inconvenient, as Sangwoo was trying to be normal about how much he wanted him around, and Jaeyoung needed to move out of his apartment. Most of his stuff had ended up in storage, but whatever hadn’t, had migrated into Sangwoo’s place. His apartment was now much more colourful, and full of cushions so they could cuddle up on the bed instead of the couch and didn’t have to move very far to go to sleep. Which was particularly important to Jaeyoung, who went to bed earlier than Sangwoo but still liked to be close to him.

Yet Sangwoo still somehow felt like it was unfair, like he was demanding too much of his boyfriend’s time.

“Does it bother you?” He asked, hugging Jaeyoung from behind while he cooked them dinner. It was still afternoon, but they were both hungry and they’d forgotten to eat lunch due to working on the game and… other distractions… so Jaeyoung had suggested he cook them an early meal and Sangwoo had been too hungry to argue about the disruption to his routine.

Instead, he just helped chop vegetables while Jaeyoung cooked the meat, and once it was all in the pot and he was just standing there stirring and occasionally adding in spices, Sangwoo had sidled up behind him and leaned his weight against his back, holding him close.

“What, this? This is fantastic, actually,” Jaeyoung answered distractedly, one hand coming up to pat his arms while his other stirred the pot. “I didn’t think you’d be this clingy - it’s nice.”

Sangwoo huffed and pressed his forehead into Jaeyoung’s spine. “Not just this, I mean… staying here. Are you sure it’s not too much?”

Jaeyoung snorted. “It’s your apartment. Surely I should be the one asking that?” He turned the stove off and turned around to cup Sangwoo’s face, eyes searching his for something. “Why? Is this your way of telling me it’s bothering you? Is it too much too soon?”

He shook his head vehemently, somewhat hindered by the hands on his cheeks, and lifted his own to squeeze Jaeyoung’s wrists reassuringly. “No, that’s not what I meant, I just… I’ve never done this before, I don’t know what the protocols are.”

“Well, we’re breaking a few protocols anyway,” Jaeyoung pointed out. Not for the first time, he went along with Sangwoo’s rigid idea of how things were supposed to work and followed the thought to a different conclusion that hadn’t occurred to Sangwoo. “I’m going to France barely a month into our relationship. Before that, you hated me and you thought romance was a delusion. We’re both men, which some people would say was... untraditional. Those people are wrong, but still - there isn’t a set rule-book for relationships, but if there was, we’re doing a good job of re-writing it. It’s okay to break protocol sometimes, as long as it’s not hurting anyone. I’m very happy spending as much time as possible with you before I leave, but if you’re not- if it’s too much having me stay here, I can sleep in the studio, or stay at Yuna’s.”

“No! I want you to stay,” Sangwoo argued, a little more aggressively than he’d meant to.

Jaeyoung chuckled, stroking his cheek. “Okay. Good.”

“You’re not going to get sick of me, right?” He asked, hesitant. “What if you go to France and realise you like it better without me around to nag you?”

“Sangwoo-ya.” Jaeyoung’s face crumpled, sadness radiating off him, like even the idea of it was too much to bear. “Are you kidding me? I like you so much. There’s no chance of that happening.” A frown appeared between his brows and Sangwoo was struck with the wholly irrational urge to wipe it away. “What if I go to France and you realise you prefer your apartment without me in it?”

“That is more likely,” he acknowledged jokingly.

Jaeyoung’s jaw dropped in mock-offence and he made to turn back to the food, but Sangwoo caught his arms and dragged him back, throwing his own around his neck and pulling him as close as possible. He pressed up onto his toes to press a chaste kiss to Jaeyoung’s lips, pulling back to see his blissed out expression and letting the warmth of it spread down to his toes. “I’ve already seen you at your most annoying, and somehow I like you anyway. I’m not going to change my mind while you’re away.”

Jaeyoung nuzzled closer, eyes falling shut as he pressed his forehead against his. “Promise?”

“Yes. Besides, we still have a game to finish when you get back.”

“Oh, and we can’t possibly jeopardise your precious game,”  Jaeyoung teased, arms coming around his waist to pull him tight against him. “It’s not like-”

“Jaeyoung-a!?”  A loud voice pierced through the moment, accompanied by a sharp knock, but not on their door - on the door to his old apartment next door.

Jaeyoung stepped away, hitting the counter as he blinked at the wall in surprise.

They knocked again.

“Jaeyoung-a? Are you home?”  That was a different voice, a female one this time.

“Maybe he’s at school?”  The man said, sounding confused.

“It’s night, dear. If he’s not here, he’s probably out.”

“I'm sure Choi Yuna said he'd be home.”

Jaeyoung seemed to snap into himself and scrambled past Sangwoo to get to the door, muttering under his breath about killing Yuna later right before he yanked it open.

“Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?!”

Internally, Sangwoo was paralyzed with shock, but externally his feet had a mind of their own, traipsing him slowly towards the front of his apartment so he could understand what was going on. Jaeyoung’s parents were outside - that was a lot of new and potentially dangerous information to compute.

He felt like his head was about to explode.

“What do you think we’re doing here, baby?” His mother tutted. “You’re going abroad for a month, we figured we should come visit at least once before you disappear to France without us! Why; is it not a good time?”

“It’s fine, it’s just-”

“Also I thought you lived in 211,” his father interrupted. “Did we write down the number wrong?”

Jaeyoung bowed his head sheepishly. “I did. I moved out last week so they could get a new tenant in while I’m gone.”

“And you moved in… next door?” He asked, befuddled.

“Not exactly,” Jaeyoung cleared his throat and stepped to the side, revealing Sangwoo standing a few feet behind him. “This is my boyfriend, Chu Sangwoo.”

Sangwoo’s head no longer felt like it was going to explode, but that was only because it felt like it was in the process of exploding.

Talk about breaking protocols.

Meeting the parents was definitely not on his list of things to do this week.

“Hello.” He bowed politely, and when he straightened his eyes darted across to Jaeyoung in a panic, who only shrugged at him with a helpless smile. Not particularly reassuring.

Jaeyoung’s parents seemed to have about as many boundaries as he did, because they took the introduction as an invitation into the apartment and crossed the threshold, discarding shoes and focussing singularly on Sangwoo as they entered. He could see where Jaeyoung got it from; it was almost uncanny.

“Boyfriend?”  His mother said, sounding unconvinced.

“Seriously?” His father added, both of them swinging back around to glare at their son.

Jaeyoung raised his hands in surrender and dodged past them to slide an arm around Sangwoo’s shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly and pulling him into his side. “Yeah, boyfriend. He’s a comp-sci major, we’re making a game together.”

His mother’s eyes were still narrowed suspiciously. “He’s your actual boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

“This isn’t just a cover story because we dropped in unannounced? You’re not just hooking up with him?”

“Mom!”

“He’s your boyfriend?”

“Yes.”  Jaeyoung reiterated, exasperated.

She squinted between the two of them, frown turning into something else. “Seriously?”

“What about this is so hard to believe?” Jaeyoung asked.

“You’ve never introduced any of your previous relationships to us, let alone referred to them as your boyfriend. Does this mean you’ve finally stopped casually hooking up and you’re ready to settle down! Oh, my baby boy! In a real relationship! Do we need to prepare you a dowry?” She raised her eyebrows at him in challenge. Jaeyoung's ears went red with embarrassment as he glared good-humouredly at his mother.

Sangwoo blinked.

That wasn’t quite how he expected that interaction to go.

“Don’t bully him, sweetheart,” Jaeyoung’s father laughed. “If we bully him now, he’ll never introduce us to a boyfriend again.”

“I hope not,” Jaeyoung bristled. “I intend for this to be the first and last.”

“Wow.” His mother gasped, hand coming up to cover her mouth in shock.  “Oh, wow - he's not just some guy, is he? He really is your boyfriend. You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”

Ah.

So Jaeyoung’s parents knew about his sexuality.

It made sense, really. For someone to be as free-spirited as Jaeyoung, his parents would either have to be the same or the complete opposite, and Jaeyoung’s attitude had never seemed to come from rebelling, moreso a steady confidence in himself, so his parents being equally open-minded and supportive checked out.

“What did you do to make our son settle down? Are you blackmailing him? Is this an apartment fraud?” She asked Sangwoo, the joke making her mouth tilt up in a smile even as she tried to pretend to be stern. “It can’t possibly be only because you’re cute as a button.”

“Don’t hit on my boyfriend, Mom.”

“He might not be your boyfriend! This could be a business arrangement!” She teased, but she waved away his concerns anyway. “I’ll try not to steal him away. How did you two meet?”

“Did you bump into each other getting mail?” His father asked.

“Not exactly.” Jaeyoung winced. “Do you remember the junior who stopped me from graduating?”

“Oh! I knew I recognised that name from somewhere!” His mother snapped her fingers. “You’re that Chu Sangwoo? Are you sure this isn’t a fraud relationship?”

“Mom!”

“Well, that’s one way to get over it,” his father tutted. “I’m fairly certain I told you to get revenge, but I guess this works too.”

“Oh, he still got revenge,” Sangwoo assured him, flashing back to those three days of very red clothes and very annoying disruptions to his day.

“That was not revenge,” Jaeyoung argued.

He raised an eyebrow at him. “Really? What would you call it then?”

Jaeyoung leaned closer. “Persuasion.”

Sangwoo snorted. “If that’s true, then your powers of persuasion are worse than mine.”

“Persuasion-through-annoyance,” he amended.

“You’re such a whack job,” Sangwoo rolled his eyes at him.

“But I wore you down eventually,” Jaeyoung said, triumphant.

“Why do I like you again?” He deadpanned exasperatedly, maintaining his impassive expression just long enough for Jaeyoung to start pouting. He sighed and reached up to pat his cheek condescendingly. “I’m sure I’ll think of something.”

Jaeyoung pouted harder, but his parents both laughed.

“And he speaks, too! I thought he might only be capable of saying hello, but he’s even telling you off in front of us,” Jaeyoung’s father clapped his hands together. “I like this one.”

“Me too,” his mother smiled warmly. She checked her watch. “What are you two doing this evening?”

“We were going to eat and then work on the game some more,” Sangwoo said politely.

“Pop that in the fridge, you’re coming to dinner with us,” she gestured at the pot on the stove and started looking for Jaeyoung’s coat.

Jaeyoung glanced at Sangwoo nervously. “Is that okay? Do you want to stay here and work-”

“Don’t think you’re getting out of this - this is the first boyfriend we’ve ever met and we want to know everything,”  she scolded, tossing a familiar jacket at him.

“No, it’s just, we’ve only got a week before I go and there’s a lot of work to do, and Sangwoo doesn’t like disruptions to his routine-”

“I’ll go,” Sangwoo reached over to tangle their fingers together, both for support and because he was feeling extra smitten with Jaeyoung in that moment, for the way he’d immediately put his needs before his own, and even before his parents. It was hard not to feel overwhelmed with his feelings for Jaeyoung when he did things like that.

Jaeyoung glanced over at him in surprise. “Are you sure?”

“We’re ahead on the game anyway,” he shrugged. “It wouldn’t hurt to take one night off.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?” Jaeyoung asked flirtatiously, getting right into his space and tugging his ear playfully and making him back up a step as he moved closer, ducking his head like he was going to kiss him.

“Behave.” Sangwoo smacked his arm to snap him out of it, but left his hand resting there anyway. “Your parents are here.”

“Oh just kiss him, we’ll wait outside,” Jaeyoung’s mother grabbed her husband’s hand and dragged him out of the front door, letting it swing shut behind them.

Sangwoo blinked around Jaeyoung’s arm at the closed door. “Your parents are… unique.”

“Mhmm,” Jaeyoung agreed, distracted.

“I didn’t expect them to be so much like you.”

“Mm.”

“That went better than expected.”

“Mm.”

“You’re not listening to me, are you?” He asked, irked.

Jaeyoung closed the gap between them and kissed him, and Sangwoo was powerless to resist that, no matter how much he pretended to be indifferent. He fisted a hand into Jaeyoung’s shirt to drag him closer, and Jaeyoung smiled against his mouth before he pulled away. He looked ecstatic.

“Did you get that out of your system?” Sangwoo asked, even as his own gaze stayed locked on Jaeyoung’s lips. He was so annoying sometimes, the way he made Sangwoo's brain short-circuit and disregard everything that wasn't him. The worst part was that most of the time he wasn't even doing it intentionally. 

Jaeyoung just beamed at him. “My parents like you.”

And in that moment, Sangwoo realised that for all his calm demeanour and his joking, Jaeyoung had been just as terrified as him. Not because he was worried his parents wouldn’t be okay with the gender of his partner, like Sangwoo had assumed, but because he was worried they wouldn’t like him. That was the most important thing to him.

Whack job, Sangwoo thought fondly, as Jaeyoung moved around him to put the untouched dinner into the fridge for later, rummaging around in all the wrong cupboard for containers until he found one with a quiet cheer, kissing Sangwoo's forehead as he nudged him aside to clear the counter.

Something in his chest shifted, throat closing just a little, and Sangwoo felt like Jaeyoung was too close and too far away and the world was ice cold and burning hot and all he could see was the red accents in that familiar jacket he was wearing and he felt a little delirious with it, like he had a fever or he was losing track of reality or there was some kind of bug in his system and-

Shit.

Sangwoo might actually love this annoying whack job.

Chapter Text

Jaeyoung had been in France for well over a month and Sangwoo was starting to lose his mind.

The separation had been difficult at first, if only because Jaeyoung left so much of himself in his apartment. Not just his cushions and his posters and the way his smell lingered in the bedsheets, but also the little drawings hidden in the drawers and under things that Sangwoo kept finding throughout the days. It was agonising, the way he surrounded Sangwoo even when he was nowhere near him.

Then, as the days turned into weeks, it became something he could incorporate into his routine.

He woke up to an empty bed and he immediately started on his routine, trying not to notice that he was turning up twenty minutes early to everything because he no longer had to factor in time wasted with Jaeyoung.

He worked on the game and tried to focus on the right things and not get distracted by just how much of Jaeyoung he could see in every inch of it.

He hung out with Jihye and Yuna and Hyeongtak at lunch to ignore the giant gaping hole in his day, and he managed to have a nice time, for the most part. They all seemed to be doing their utmost not to bring up the elephant in the room, and every conversation felt like a deliberate distraction, but it worked.

And of course, he spoke to Jaeyoung constantly. Not just by text - which was a frequent thing, often just small updates about the game or the meetings or the food they’d eaten, accompanied by Jaeyoung’s bad punctuation and overuse of emojis - but also on the phone, and facetime.

At least once every two days.

He tried not to do it every day, because the time difference was frustrating for both of them and they were both so busy, but neither of them seemed to manage well without the other. If Sangwoo tried to be rational and not call because Jaeyoung seemed swamped, a day and a half later, Jaeyoung would be calling him.

It was nice, but it wasn’t enough.

Sangwoo found himself pathetically staring at his Jang Jaeyoung folder even more than when he’d been pining secretly; opening it almost every day just to put in the background while he worked. It set his mind just a little bit more at ease.

But it wasn’t Jaeyoung.

And then the trip got prolonged.

By a week.

Which was bad enough.

But then it turned into two.

And then three.

It was fast approaching two months since Sangwoo had touched his boyfriend and he was beginning to go off the deep end. He knew it was ridiculous and he was furious at himself for it, which made him irritable throughout the day, which gave him the tendency to snap at his friends, so he started avoiding them.

He started avoiding everyone again, keeping to himself, wearing his cap. He just wanted every day to go back to being routine, to passing like a metronome, because then maybe it wouldn’t feel so long until Jaeyoung returned. He’d even stopped calling Jaeyoung as much just because saying goodbye at the end of the calls was really beginning to wear on him emotionally.

Especially because he still hadn’t said the words “I love you” out loud, and every time Jaeyoung called, the words got closer and closer to the tip of his tongue. Yet he couldn’t say it; not over the phone, not when there was a whole continent between them.

So he stayed quiet and he pretended the texts were enough, and he got on with his day. 

On another one of those isolated, time-ticking days, Sangwoo had just hooked his bike up to the railing when his phone dinged.

my Sangwoo, where are you?? 🥰🥰

He shot back a reply, trying to ignore the pang in his chest.

Almost home. I’m done for the day,
so I’m going to work on the game.

yuna said you’ve been avoiding everyone this week
she’s worried about you
🥺🥺🥺
are you okay???

I’m fine.
Just busy.

Sangwoo had barely pressed send before his phone started buzzing insistently.

He sighed and answered. “I really am fine.”

“Well, I’m not,” Jaeyoung said matter-of-factly. “I miss you like crazy. I feel like I’m losing the plot. Everyone keeps telling me what an amazing opportunity DEX is and all I have been able to think is that I’d rather be in your bedroom watching you mess with game code and sketching ideas and seeing you frowning at me and kissing you-”

“Enough,” Sangwoo begged, leaning heavily against the wall of the stairwell for support as he sagged in defeat. “Please? I’m trying so hard to just get through the day; don’t remind me.”

There was the sound of a quiet chuckle. “I was beginning to worry, you know.”

“I’m fine.”

“Not just about that… Jihye said you were back to how you were before we met, and it freaked me out. I thought maybe you really were getting on better without me, that when I got back you’d tell me to get lost because I was just an annoying, temporary thorn in your side.”

“That’s stupid.” Sangwoo huffed at the very idea of it. “I would tell you if I was thinking that way, because I’d want you to leave me alone when you got back.”

Jaeyoung laughed again. “I don’t know why, but I am so comforted by that. It’s so like you to listen to my legitimate concerns and then just tell me I’m wrong. I feel so much better now.”

Sangwoo frowned, still caught on something. “Since when do you talk to Jihye?”

“We’re friends now,” Jaeyoung said casually.

“And she gossips about me to you?”

“No, she was concerned about you, as your friend, and mine. It’s not gossip when all parties involved care about each other’s well-being.”

Sangwoo began his ascent to his apartment again, listening to Jaeyoung go on a long tangent about the difference between gossip and discussion, and by the time he’d finished, he was on his floor.

Their floor.

“Sangwoo-ya?”

“Mm?”

“Do you miss me?”

He reached the door to his apartment and unlocked it, but he didn’t go in. Instead, he pressed his forehead against the cold door and sighed, completely and utterly exhausted. Bone-weary with the weight of how much he missed his boyfriend. “Yes. I miss you.”

“Are you going to look at the Jang Jaeyoung folder tonight?”

“Yah!” Sangwoo complained.

“What?” He asked innocently, clearly trying to smother a smile. “I know you didn’t delete it before I left. Are you going to stare dreamily at pictures of me skateboarding?”

Sangwoo banged his head against the door, embarrassed even when no-one could see him. “Don’t tease me; it’s all I’ve got.”

“At least you’ve got a folder, all I’ve got is a few instagram posts. You should take more pictures of yourself.” Jaeyoung whined.

“You should take less.”

“But then what would you put in your folder-”

“I’m going to kill you when you get back.”

“I guess I don’t have much time left on this earth then,” he joked, but his voice sounded different, louder, “I should make the most of it while I can.”

And then two strong arms wrapped around Sangwoo’s waist.

Jaeyoung pressed his face into the crook of his neck and inhaled deeply, nuzzling at him, and Sangwoo wasn’t proud of the noise he made, of the utter relief and desperation of being touched again, but he couldn’t help it. He slumped against the door, strength going out of his legs with the force of the emotions hitting his chest, and Jaeyoung just kept holding him up, arms banded tightly around him and lips dropping little kisses against his neck, his jaw, his cheek, and all the time mumbling, “I missed you.”

Sangwoo groaned, frustrated, and turned around in his arms, aching to see his face - really see it, not just through a screen.

Jaeyoung lifted his head, one hand coming up to stroke his cheek as he looked down at him, eyes darting all over Sangwoo’s face like he was making sure everything was exactly the way he remembered it. Sangwoo was doing the same, breath catching as he took in every detail of Jaeyoung and recommitted it to memory. He looked exactly the same as his pictures, but this was different, this was so much better.

Sangwoo couldn’t bear it anymore, and he grabbed his collar and yanked him down, kissing him with everything he had. Jaeyoung made a surprised noise, but that didn’t stop him from pinning Sangwoo against the door with his body, kissing him harder, hands gripping him like he was worried he’d disappear.

Sangwoo knew the feeling.

When they broke away, they were both gasping, and it struck him somewhere distantly in the back of his mind that they were fully exposed out here.

He reached blindly behind him for the door handle, yanking at it, and after some manoeuvring, they stumbled into the apartment, Sangwoo trusting Jaeyoung not to let him fall.

“Tell me you missed me again,” Jaeyoung begged, cupping his face in his hands even as he backed him towards the bedroom.

“I missed you, now shut up and kiss me,” Sangwoo dragged him back down, frantic and irrationally desperate for Jaeyoung to just wipe away all the anxiety of the last seven weeks.

Jaeyoung laughed against his lips, but he did as he was told, picking Sangwoo up and walking him over to the bed. He lay him down, comfortable body weight on top of him, and Sangwoo exhaled, like he’d been holding his breath since Jaeyoung left.

“You’re gorgeous, you’re so fucking beautiful, I’ve missed you so much,” Jaeyoung murmured, kissing him to punctuate every statement.

Sangwoo smiled and arched up into him, arms thrown around his neck to keep him there.

He was planning to keep him there for a very long time.

Chapter Text

Sangwoo had never been happier in his life.

And that terrified him.

Since the day Jaeyoung returned he’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop somehow, but two weeks later and he was still deliriously happy, and it was beginning to make him anxious.

For the first entire week after Jaeyoung showed up on his doorstep, they’d basically sequestered themselves away in his apartment. To the point where Yuna showed up one day just to make sure they weren’t dead. It was like Jaeyoung just couldn’t take his eyes off him for more than a few seconds at a time, which Sangwoo had absolutely no problem with as long as he was within touching distance. He spent most of his time working on his laptop with one hand on Jaeyoung’s thigh or tangling their fingers together as Jaeyoung gazed at him and occasionally pressed gentle kisses to his cheek.

He couldn’t recall ever actually feeling touch-starved before he’d met Jaeyoung, but in the seven weeks he was gone, he had been aching from the deprivation. Like his skin was burning and Jaeyoung was the only water for miles. It helped that Jaeyoung was so tactile, something which had driven him almost to madness back before they started dating, and was now the only thing that made him feel sane.

“We get it, you’re in love with each other,” Jihye groaned, her head in her hands across the table from them. Their friends had finally managed to drag them out of the apartment for lunch, and they were in a nice restaurant in the center of town, and while Sangwoo was at least self-aware enough not to be all over Jaeyoung the way he was at home, he still couldn’t help moving his chair closer when they arrived.

“Please, some of us want to eat soon and you’re making us nauseous.” Hyeongtak added.

“I think it’s cute,” Yuna argued. “Disgusting! Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely disgusting - it burns my retinas - but it’s cute.”

“We’re barely doing anything,” Jaeyoung pouted, hand still tangled in the hair at the back of Sangwoo’s head where he’d reached over after he ordered, seemingly just because he wanted to touch him. “You should see what we’re like at home.”

“Pass.” They said over each other, with varying degrees of enthusiasm and horror.

Sangwoo, aside from doing his level best not to lean into Jaeyoung’s hand like a cat, was struck by the word Jaeyoung had used.

He’d said home.

He would probably get his old place back soon, or maybe find somewhere else, but in the meantime, he was still living at Sangwoo’s, and Sangwoo had never been happier.

Jihye reached over to squeeze his hand, snapping him back to reality. “Hey, Mr Chu! You don’t need to zone out anymore, your boyfriend is back.”

Sangwoo laughed, brushing aside the thought and re-engaging with the conversation - something about Yuna’s new music project - as their food arrived.

“So, when are you going back to France?” Jihye asked Jaeyoung.

“Why, you going to try and steal my boyfriend again?” He joked.

“No, I want to know when he’s going to turn back into a grump so I can hide,” she volleyed back.

Jaeyoung laughed. “Not for a few months - once everything was finalised over there, they agreed to let me stay and finish the project, and then they want me for at least six months. In the meantime, I just have to do regular check-ins with my progress.”

“Six months?!  Oh god. How will Sangwoo survive?” Yuna asked the sky in mock despair.

“He’ll be sick of me by then,” Jaeyoung waved a hand dismissively, which was almost immediately contradicted by Sangwoo grabbing that hand and intertwining their fingers together on the table, leaning his shoulder against him. Jaeyoung closed his eyes briefly. “Probably.”

“I’ll visit,” Sangwoo said. That was obvious - he couldn’t go six months without this; they’d just proven he could barely manage two - and he wanted to go to France anyway. He wanted to visit D.E.X. headquarters and see the art museums and listen to Jaeyoung talk passionately about everything he was doing. He could rationalise the rest of the time away. “The last three months he’s there are my finals anyway; I won’t have the time to think about him. It’s a blessing he won’t be here, actually. He’s a distraction.”

It was, if he did say so himself, an admirable attempt to maintain his old haughty demeanour, but one entirely built on bullshit.

“Aw, our Chu Sangchoo, since when have you been so bad at lying?” Yuna teased, reaching across the table to pinch his cheek.

“Leave him alone, he missed me.” Jaeyoung tugged him closer, dropping a kiss to his forehead despite his half-hearted protests. “Do you know what it would have taken to get him to admit that a few months ago?”

“A two month separation while you went to France?” Yuna suggested, earning a fake kick under the table from Jaeyoung. “What? I’m not wrong; absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

“No, it doesn’t. Absence just makes it clearer how fond you already were,” Jihye said wisely, tucking into her dinner. “I’m sure for Sangwoo it was really hard, because he doesn’t like things being uncertain, and getting used to Jaeyoung and then having to adjust to him being gone is a big change to his routine.”

The table went quiet, staring at her in surprise.

She glanced up from her meal, confused. “What?”

“You really did like Sangwoo,” Hyeongtak said.

She huffed. “Of course I did! Not anymore though - my crush is well and truly taken care of. And even if it wasn’t, there’s no way I could ever get between you two. You’re way too… this.” She waved a hand at them vaguely, and Sangwoo felt a little sheepish, but he didn’t get the chance to feel bad for long because she quickly beamed at the two of them. “I know I pretend to be bothered, but really, I think you’re perfect for each other. Sangwoo reigns Jaeyoung in, and Jaeyoung makes Sangwoo come out of his shell.”

“Plus, you work well together,” Yuna agreed.

“I guess I also don’t hate it as much as I pretend to,” Hyeongtak said with a pout.

“I also don’t hate it as much as I pretend to,” Sangwoo admitted teasingly, earning an unimpressed look from his boyfriend and gasps of mock surprise from their friends.

“Well I do hate it,” Jaeyoung deadpanned.

“Every piece of evidence I have begs to diff-”

“Differ, yeah, whatever,” he complained cheerfully, putting more meat on Sangwoo’s plate. “My boyfriend and his obsession with collating information is going to be the death of me. Did I ever tell you about this folder I found-”

Sangwoo’s protests were already in the air, free hand reaching out desperately to cover his mouth, when someone else halted the conversation in its tracks before he even needed to.

“Boyfriend?”

He froze.

He recognised that voice.

He turned his head to see his parents standing beside the table, dressed well - clearly out for a nice lunch themselves - and with looks of careful surprise on their faces.

Ah, there it was.

The other shoe.

Because the thing was, he hadn’t gotten around to telling his parents yet. He’d talked about Jaeyoung, in the context of his business partner, a designer, and a senior at university, but he’d never quite figured out how to explain the whole… relationship part.

The entire table had frozen, staring between Sangwoo and his parents with growing dread.

Jaeyoung’s hand in his tightened supportively, but Sangwoo was still just staring at his parents.

“Uh.”

“You have a boyfriend?” His father asked.

Sangwoo swallowed. “Yes.”

“This man?” He asked, looking very seriously past Sangwoo so he could observe Jaeyoung.

“Yes.”

“Does he interfere with your grades?” His mother asked.

“No.”

“What sort of family does he come from?”

“A nice one.”

Jaeyoung laughed lightly. “They have money, if that’s what you’re asking.”

She raised her eyebrow at him, a small amount of approval at his frankness. “What do you do?”

“I’m an artist.”

His father scoffed. “That’s not very lucrative.”

“It is if you’re Jang Jaeyoung,” Yuna muttered.

“He just got a whole overseas thing with a big company, it’s a huge deal,” Hyeongtak added.

“Plus, he’s half the reason Sangwoo’s game is getting so many investors,” Jihye added.

Sangwoo’s parents looked over them all. His mother looked intrigued. “He has clearly also inspired a great deal of loyalty from you all.”

“Not me, I hate him,” Jihye joked.

Jaeyoung made a face at her.

Sangwoo willed himself to be anywhere but there, for this not to be happening, for a meteor to hit the restaurant so he didn’t have to face it. He wasn’t sure he could take his parents’ objections to his relationship, especially not when he’d only just got him back within reaching distance.

There was another long, agonising stretch of silence as Sangwoo felt his entire life flash before his eyes, waiting for his parents to disown him or shout at him or make him break up with Jaeyoung.

His father opened his mouth again, and the world felt like it was teetering on a knife’s edge.

Sangwoo held his breath.

“Well, it seems like he’s a good influence, so as long as he remains that way, I have nothing to disapprove of, right darling?”

His mother nodded curtly. “You’ve always talked about him with high praise, and I have no reason to believe your emotions would cloud your objective judgement of his character, not to mention the instantaneous support from his friends-”

“Our friends,” Jaeyoung interrupted politely, bowing his head in apology.

“-and clearly you have more friends, which are important for social development,” she amended.

Sangwoo blinked. “You’re not upset?”

“That you didn’t tell us sooner? A little.” His father shrugged.

“No, that he’s…”

“An artist? Well, I have my reservations, but as long as he has a steady income stream I can’t see any reasons why I should object, as long as you like him.”

“I do.” Sangwoo said quickly. “I really like him.”

Jaeyoung hid his smile behind his hand and Yuna and Hyeongtak mimed throwing up at him.

Sangwoo’s mother patted his head. “It’s not like we didn’t have suspicions. You became especially miserable while he was in France, and I know that feeling, of being apart from the person you love and trying to go about your day. It’s a big reason why we don’t go on business trips without each other anymore. I suppose we just assumed it was one-sided.”

“Oh, god no, Jaeyoung liked him way sooner,” Yuna interjected.

“Yah!”  Jaeyoung sucked his teeth at her and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“What? I’m not saying anything that isn’t true!”

Sangwoo’s father chuckled. “We’ll let you get back to your lunch - we have our own errands to run and we don’t want to throw off the day’s routine - but we expect to get a call so we can be more formerly introduced. And meet his parents. I assume they’re aware?”

“They know, yes,” Jaeyoung nodded politely. “My mom loves Sangwoo.”

“Even more than her own son,” Yuna wiped away an invisible tear.

“She is not exaggerating, sometimes she calls me just to ask how Sangwoo is,” Jaeyoung said.

“I look forward to meeting her,” Sangwoo’s mother said, leaning down to kiss the crown of his head before she stepped away, slipping her arm through her husband’s. “Jang Jaeyoung, you won’t break my son’s heart, will you?”

Jaeyoung shook his head earnestly. “You don’t have to worry about that, ma’am. I’ll take very good care of him.”

“See that you do.” Her polite smile wavered, and for a moment, her eyes flashed a warning. Sangwoo recognised that look from many scoldings over the years. As quickly as it had come, it disappeared, and she waved to them as his parents disappeared through the restaurant.

Yuna did a dramatic, full-body shiver. “Whoa, her glower is almost scarier than yours.”

“I can definitely see where he gets it from,” Jihye agreed.

“You okay?” Jaeyoung asked quietly, squeezing his hand.

Sangwoo looked over at him, at his boyfriend, and he realised, with both shoes firmly on the ground, that he truly was happy. And one day soon, he’d tell Jaeyoung just how happy he made him, that he truly loved him - but in the meantime, he knew Jaeyoung wasn’t going anywhere, and that was enough.

Chapter Text

Jaeyoung’s flight home had been delayed.

That would frustrate Sangwoo on any day, but it was especially stressful when he was supposed to arrive the day before graduation so he could attend, and now it was completely up in the air as to whether he’d get there on time. He supposed, if nothing else, this was emblematic of their relationship; Jang Jaeyoung was always throwing a spanner in his works.

It had been an interesting year. Jaeyoung had spent his six months in France and Sangwoo had visited twice, enjoying DEX headquarters and the tourist traps and the food, but mainly because Jaeyoung was stuck to his side showing him it all. Their friends had been supportive in the months when Sangwoo was alone, and he was getting better at dealing with it and not bottling it all up and hiding himself away. It helped that Jaeyoung’s parents had basically ingratiated themselves into his life, organising a weekly dinner with him and his own parents, and occasionally Yuna or the others. It made the long months feel shorter and helped the hardest moments feel a little less rough, until finally, finally, he was graduating university and he’d have all the time in the world to see Jaeyoung whether that be in France or Korea. He was so close to having everything he wanted.

Both his and Jaeyoung’s parents showed up before the ceremony to support him. As it turned out, despite their obvious differences in temperament, their parents got on surprisingly well. While his mother was a bit too much like him, his father was more amiable, and easily bridged the gap between them and Jaeyoung’s parents who were the easiest people in the world to get along with.

Yuna, Hyeongtak and Jihye were busy - Hyeongtak with his own graduation, Jihye with her assignments, and Yuna with her new job - but they all texted him with enthusiasm from wherever they were. It was nice.

Sangwoo was beginning to actually get used to having friends, real friends, and a boyfriend who loved him, and two sets of parents who would show up for him when he needed them.

It was unnerving, to say the least.

He tried not to think about the fact that his boyfriend was still at the airport, if he’d even made it into the country at all, as he waited for his name to be called.

When he went up and accepted his diploma, he looked out over the crowd to find his parents, and frantic movement at the back of the room caught his eye - Jang Jaeyoung was there, panting, dragging his suitcase behind him, sweaty, and beaming with his whole body.

Sangwoo smiled with relief and no small measure of joy, and he was hit with the flash from a camera - presumably Jaeyoung’s father’s.

He finished his procession off the stage and back down to his seat, suddenly much too excited to sit still, knee bouncing the way Jaeyoung’s usually did, using every bit of strength in his body not to turn around and crane his neck to see him. He sat through the rest of the graduates' acceptances, the most boring speech ever delivered for twenty-five minutes, and then a further ten minutes of housekeeping, before they finally announced the end to the ceremony.

He sprang to his feet and darted through the crowd, seeing his parents first. Jaeyoung was still fighting his way from the back of the auditorium - a much harder path to carve when you’re travelling in the opposite direction to the crowd.

“We’re so proud of you,” his father said warmly.

“You did well,” his mother agreed.

“I got some fantastic pictures,” Jaeyoung’s father smiled, waving his camera in the air.

Jaeyoung’s mother pulled him into a hug, kissing the crown of his head. “Well done, baby. I’m sorry Jaeyoung couldn’t be here, he would be so happy to see it.”

“Happy is an understatement,” Jaeyoung cut in, and Sangwoo lifted his head, eyes wide and frantic to find him.

Jaeyoung was standing between his father and Sangwoo’s parents, flowers in hand and hair askew from the running he’d clearly done to arrive in the knick of time.

His mother laughed and in her shock, let Sangwoo go. “When did you get here?”

“Just in time,” Jaeyoung admitted. “I almost missed it! My suitcase kept catching on the grass, I almost abandoned it-”

He was cut off when Sangwoo, tired of there being so much distance between them, grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. Jaeyoung laughed into it, arms coming around him and holding him close so he could kiss him back, while a few scattered classmates gasped or made whooping noises at the sight.

“Since when do you do PDA?” Jaeyoung asked against his lips, not sounding at all like he minded.

Sangwoo pulled back but kept his grip on Jaeyoung’s shirt. “Since I thought I wasn’t going to see you today. You surprised me, it caught me off guard. It won’t happen again.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that,” Jaeyoung said, with a twinkle in his eye. He straightened and slung an arm around his shoulder, side-hugging him as he turned them back to face their parents. “I’m fucking starving, who wants dinner?”

“Language!” Sangwoo’s mother tutted, but she led the way out with a small smile anyway.

Sangwoo was so caught up in just enjoying the fact that Jaeyoung was home - actually, really home - that it took him an embarrassingly long time to notice they weren’t heading off campus to the hall where the graduates were supposed to dine with their families, but on a familiar path.

“Wait, why are we-”

Was all he managed to say before the door to Jaeyoung’s studio burst open with an explosion of streamers and balloons.

“SURPRISE! HAPPY GRADUATION!”

Yuna, Jihye and Hyeongtak were all there, and it seemed like his parents had been in on it too, if the fact that Jaeyoung’s father had filmed his reaction to the surprise was any indication.

“What-”

Jaeyoung bundled him into the room, grinning. “You hate big crowds and expensive restaurants, and I hate stuffy ceremonies, so I figured you wouldn’t mind if we ditched the university celebration for one of our own.”

“And my parents agreed to this?” Sangwoo asked, blinking over at them in surprise.

“The university dinner had a superfluous fee, Jaeyoung’s suggestion involved less monetary loss and more time with our son,” his mother said matter-of-factly. “There was nothing to disagree with.”

“How was your graduation? Sorry I couldn’t be there,” Yuna sidled up to give him a brief hug, pinching his cheek as she pulled away just to annoy him.

“It was fine.” He shrugged, turning to Hyeongtak. “How was yours?”

“Fine,” he agreed. “But I didn’t get a surprise party or a last minute dramatic arrival, so I guess not as good as yours.”

“First of all, this is your party too, it’s just not your surprise,” Jaeyoung ruffled his hair. “Secondly, if you want last minute romantic theatrics, you have to get a boyfriend as loving and dedicated as me, and I’m very rare.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Jihye said dryly, ignoring his mock offended look so she could hug Sangwoo. “Congratulations, sunbae. You’ll come to mine next year, right?”

Sangwoo considered it logically. “I’m not sure if we’ll be-”

“Of course we will,” Jaeyoung interrupted, elbowing him, and smiled at her - a genuine one. “With bells on. I’m going to be insufferable.”

“Oh, so just a normal day then?” She deadpanned, dodging the swift kick he aimed at her with a bright giggle as Hyeongtak turned on some music and Yuna directed them all towards the food.

The night passed without a single hitch, as long as you didn’t count Jihye and Jaeyoung’s pretend squabbles as hitches. The food was delicious, the atmosphere was perfect, and all of Sangwoo’s favourite people were there - he literally couldn’t have asked for more.

And yet Sangwoo still couldn't relax. His life was about to change, was already changing, after so much had already been upturned that year, and even though all the changes were positive, he wasn't equipped to deal with his life being overhauled like this. He needed order and normalcy, and all he could see in his future was uncertainty. He was so overwhelmed with it all that it felt like the air was too thin in the studio. It was suddenly too small in there, too crowded, too warm; it was just too much, so he slipped out the door while everyone was distracted with Yuna’s stories from her job.

He just needed some fresh air.

He didn’t even realise his feet were still carrying him forward until he ended up at his familiar vending machine, staring at the lights and thinking about how he wasn’t going to visit this place again, maybe ever. It was a humbling thought. So much had happened, not just at the university, but at this very vending machine, and it was a strangely nostalgic feeling to acknowledge he was leaving it behind.

“Overwhelmed?”

He wasn’t even surprised to hear Jaeyoung’s voice.

“No,” he lied. “I’m just thirsty.”

Jaeyoung snorted. “There’s loads to drink in the studio.”

Sangwoo sighed and turned to face him. Jaeyoung was leaning against the machine, facing him, eyes only on him. The way they always were. When he smiled, it was earnest and heartfelt and it surrounded him. “God, I missed you. I was going crazy today thinking I wasn't going to make it in time. I love you so much it makes me feel insane sometimes.”

I love you.

Sangwoo still hadn’t said it.

I love you.

He thought it, every second of every day.

I love you.

But the practical part of his brain had never let him say it.

I love you.

He kept convincing himself that if he said it aloud, it would all become real, and if it was real, then it could fail. For as long as he kept those words to himself, there was no chance of them failing.

I love you.

It was the most superstitious thing he’d ever done. It was so unlike him.

I love you.

Jaeyoung said it all the time, like it was as easy as breathing.

I love you.

And he never complained that Sangwoo didn’t say it. Not once, in the entire year.

I love you.

Even now, he was looking at Sangwoo with all the love in his eyes and that unbearably fond expression that made his toes curl and his ears grow hot, and it felt unfair.

“Why aren’t you angry at me?” He asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Jaeyoung blinked. “Should I be? Why? What did you do? Did you cheat on me?”

Sangwoo scowled. “No.”

“Are you sure?”

“I think I would have noticed,” he pointed out. “Did you cheat on me?”

It was Jaeyoung’s turn to scowl. “No. Why would you ask that?”

“Because you’re not angry at me.”

“I’m so confused. What’s wrong?” He reached out to lace their fingers together, tugging Sangwoo closer and staring down at their intertwined hands. “Do you not love me anymore? Is that it?”

“Wh-what?”

“Was I away for too long? Did you realise your life is more efficient without me?”

“My life is more efficient without you,” Sangwoo retorted, but he quickly followed it with a tug on Jaeyoung’s hand which ended up with Sangwoo’s back against the vending machine and Jaeyoung caging him in. “But it’s better with you. Efficient doesn’t mean anything if it isn’t leading towards an end goal, and without you, I don’t have an end goal.”

Jaeyoung scrunched his eyes closed and let his head fall against Sangwoo’s, exhaling slowly. “Sometimes, Chu Sangwoo, you just- I mean… you’re such a romantic.”

“No I’m not.”

“I beg to differ,” he murmured, leaning down to press a gentle kiss against his cheek.

“I’m really not,” Sangwoo felt close to tears. “I’ve never even… I’ve never even told you I loved you.”

“Wait, is that what you’re so worried about?” Jaeyoung laughed, free hand coming up to cup his cheek, tilting his head into the light. “Are you kidding? You tell me constantly.”

“No, I really don’t.”

“You might not say the words, but you’re always saying it with your actions, and your eyes, and sometimes you say something like without you, I don’t have an end goal  and just take my fucking breath away.” Jaeyoung had never sounded more sincere, and Sangwoo couldn't help but believe him, even as guilt settled in under his ribs. 

“Wouldn’t you rather I… I said it more?”

“You’re not that kind of person,” Jaeyoung shrugged.

“But you are.”

“And I love you, so I’m happy,” he said, and Sangwoo was so jealous of the way the words fell off his tongue like that, like it was the easiest thing in the world, like it was obvious.

“How long are you back for this time?” He asked, instead of saying it.

Jaeyoung’s smile was blinding. “See? You say it all the time.”

Sangwoo had to look away, blush rising.

Jaeyoung’s thumb stroked over the warmth in his cheek, keeping his gaze up, and ducked his head so he could kiss him. Sangwoo reciprocated immediately, melting into it the way he always did because he had no idea how not to.

When Jaeyoung pulled back, he didn’t go far, forehead resting on Sangwoo’s again. “I’m back for as long as you want.”

“What did DEX say?”

“That it’s up to me. They’re offering me a full-time position in France, if I want it.”

“Are you going to take it?”

“That’s up to you.”

“It’s an amazing opportunity. You should take it.”

“Yes, I should.” He kissed him again, softly, sweetly. “But what do you really want?”

Sangwoo unconsciously followed his lips, but Jaeyoung was waiting for his answer. It was time he finally stopped lying about how he really felt. “I want you to stay.”

“Me too,” Jaeyoung grinned, leaning back in.

“Hyung?” Sangwoo asked, between kisses that were getting steadily more frantic.

“Mm?” He replied distractedly, mouthing a messy trail down Sangwoo’s neck.

Sangwoo’s hands on his shoulders tightened reflexively as he steeled himself. “I… I love you.”

Jaeyoung froze.

For what could have been a minute or a year, time didn’t pass, and then Jaeyoung leaned back so he could see his face, and he’d never looked more ecstatic. “Really?”

“I’m not going to say it again,” Sangwoo muttered, dragging him back down to kiss that unshakeable joy right off his face.

Chapter Text

It just made logical sense, really. Sangwoo had graduated and no longer needed to live so close to the university. Jaeyoung had just moved back to the country and was looking for a place to live. So, on semantics alone, it made complete sense for them to move in together. Plus, there was the whole “wildly in love with each other thing” - Jaeyoung’s words, obviously.

They didn’t even discuss it.

Neither one of them had broached the subject over dinner or asked the question before bed or anything like that; one day they were sitting in Sangwoo’s apartment talking about visiting his parents on the weekend, and the next they were going through flat listings.

Within the week, they were visiting places together.

“This one’s nice,” Jaeyoung hummed, craning his neck to see every nook and cranny of the bathroom while Sangwoo inspected the kitchen.

“It’s not bad.”

“You hate it.”

“If I hated it, I would tell you I hated it,” he pointed out. “I’m not going to live somewhere I dislike just because you like it.”

“My boyfriend, the romantic!” Jaeyoung deadpanned performatively to the empty room.

“Then I’ll end up resenting you for making me live somewhere I don’t like, and you’ll resent me for not being honest when you asked, and we’ll break up,” Sangwoo huffed. “Not acceptable.”

Jaeyoung’s joking demeanour dropped immediately, expression going soft as he hugged him from behind, and this time when he spoke it was entirely genuine. “My boyfriend, the romantic.”

“Get off me,” he complained, not actually fighting very hard to escape.

“Okay, so do you like this place or not?” Jaeyoung asked, arms tightening around his waist comfortingly.

Sangwoo sighed. “It’s fine, but it doesn’t have an office.”

“You need an office?” Jaeyoung asked inquisitively.

“No. But you need a studio, and I need somewhere to put my desktop; so we need a place with an office room.” He explained.

Jaeyoung moved in front of him, eyes scanning his face while he thought it over, and there was a gleam in his suppressed smile. “I’m going to say something you will almost definitely consider superfluous and I need you to know that I’m not in any way exaggerating when I say it. Okay?” He paused for effect. “I’ve never been more in love with you.”

“You’re so annoying,” Sangwoo punctuated the statement with an eyeroll, even as he pressed up on his toes to kiss his boyfriend’s cheek. He’d stopped denying that Jang Jaeyoung made him swoon a long time ago.

It took four more tries before they found the right place for them.

An apartment with two bedrooms - one for them and a spare - an office, a decent kitchen, a bathroom and an ensuite, and a living room where they could host friends. Which was not something Sangwoo would have considered barely a year earlier, but here they were, talking about throwing a housewarming and arguing over whether or not they should repaint the walls.

In the end, they threw two separate housewarmings - one for their families and one for their friends - and Sangwoo let Jaeyoung paint the entire studio with a colourful mural provided he left the bedroom walls alone.

It was so domestic and banal, and he loved it.

Every few weeks, Jaeyoung would ruin his morning exercises with a back hug, burying his face into the crook of his neck to mumble, “Sick of me yet?” 

And in return, every time he got a scoffed, “Yes.” Even as Sangwoo held him tight.

They lived surprisingly well together. Jaeyoung wasn't a morning person, but he was a sporadic night owl depending on if he had a project, so the office came in handy for when one was awake and didn't want to disturb the other. Their spare room was frequently occupied with Yuna or Hyeongtak after nights out or just because they felt like visiting, and occasionally Jihye when she needed help with a project and stayed too late so Jaeyoung insisted she sleep over. Jaeyoung was a great host, because of course he was. Sangwoo was less overt about it, but he liked that his friends felt comfortable in his home, and he liked even more that he was comfortable with them being there. Before Jaeyoung, the idea of anybody invading his private spaces would have been abhorrent to him. Which Jaeyoung knew, and made sure there were clear lines between public spaces and their privacy. The main one being that nobody was ever allowed in their bedroom, which made for a running joke - started by Yuna, obviously - about the “indecent things”  they were “definitely hiding.”

If by indecent, she meant creased bedsheets, Jaeyoung’s “secret” snack drawer, and the kind of excessive cuddling that the old Sangwoo would have turned his nose up at in disgust, she was dead on.

Honestly, the lack of indecent things to hide was starting to grate at Sangwoo. Not that he wasn't happy, because he was - almost deliriously so - but some days he wished Jaeyoung would just shove him against a wall like he had in that alleyway so long ago before their relationship really began. Sadly, that didn't happen nearly often enough. Even well over a year into their relationship, Jaeyoung was still respectful of his boundaries almost to the point of frustration, always waiting for Sangwoo to give him permission or make the first move. It was sweet, and wholly unnecessary.

“Hyung, we’re living together,” he finally said one day, pressed right up against Jaeyoung in the office while Jaeyoung supposedly worked on something for DEX and Sangwoo supposedly reworked some old coding for their new game. In reality, he’d spent the better part of an hour completely distracted at the constant brushing of Jaeyoung’s arm against his at the desk, waiting for him to make a move. Jaeyoung must have known what he was doing, pulling his chair in so close, but he had made absolutely zero effort to do anything about it.

“Are we?” Jaeyoung feigned surprise, staring around in fake shock. “Since when?”

Sangwoo sighed his long-suffering sigh. “Remind me why I like you again?”

“I’m very, very handsome,” Jaeyoung deadpanned.

“You make a compelling argument,” he conceded, but quickly turned serious again, shifting in his seat to look at his boyfriend properly. “I’m serious, hyung. We live together now, you don’t need to keep waiting for me to be okay with things. I’m okay with things. Just make the move.”

Jaeyoung briefly flashed an expression of surprise, which quickly turned into amusement, smirk building from the corner of his mouth. “Is that so?”

Sangwoo’s sigh sounded more like a groan or a grumble, made harsher in his frustration at the close proximity of their bodies and the distinct lack of a move from his boyfriend. “Jang Jaeyoung-”

“Consent is sexy, Sangwoo-ya,” Jaeyoung hummed, leaning a little closer.

“Yes, but in order for me to consent, you have to actually be doing something.”  Sangwoo argued.

“I like it better when you initiate things,” he shrugged.

“Why?”

His gaze darted down to Sangwoo’s lips. “Because it’s cute.”

“Seriously?”

“And because it means you love me.”

“I love you all the time!” Sangwoo scoffed.

Jaeyoung’s retort died in his throat and he looked at Sangwoo with soft eyes, biting his lip. “Okay, give me a minute to process that before we continue this conversation.”

“Jang Jaeyoung.”

“Okay, okay!” He held his hands up in surrender. “So what I’m getting from this conversation is that you want me to make a move sometimes.”

“More than sometimes.”

“More than sometimes.” He repeated, nodding. “Okay. Can do.”

And then he leaned back in his seat and went right back to sketching.

Sangwoo was going to kill him.

A long, silent minute passed, in which Jaeyoung frowned in concentration at his digital sketchpad and Sangwoo frowned in irritation at Jaeyoung.

Then, in one fluid movement, Jaeyoung threw down his pen and got to his feet, dragging Sangwoo out of the chair and depositing him soundly onto the desk. He stepped between his legs, palms pressed flat either side of his hips, completely caging him in. His face dipped close to Sangwoo’s, breaths mingling as he tilted his head, still not kissing him.

“Now’s good, right?” He asked cheekily, smirk still residing in that frustrating corner of his mouth.

“An hour ago would have been better,” Sangwoo complained.

“Noted.”

There wasn’t a whole lot of talking after that.

The next time their friends came over, the studio had also become off-limits to them. Yuna, of course, found this hysterical.

Chapter Text

It happened out of nowhere.

Well, kind of. Nothing in Sangwoo’s brain happened entirely out of nowhere, it just ruminated and ran numbers somewhere in the background while the rest of him was occupied. So while the thought that struck him seemed to have appeared completely out of the blue like some bizarre domestic lightning bolt, the truth was his subconscious had been parsing it through for some time.

Nevertheless, when he woke up one morning and blinked his eyes open to see Jaeyoung had cuddled into him during the night, head resting on his chest and arms curled loosely around him, and the thought struck him that he wanted to get married, it took him by surprise.

It didn’t even feel like a want.

His brain had simply gone through the situation and decided that logically, after three years together, two years sharing an apartment, and joint bank accounts and life goals, marriage was the next step. It just made sense.

He woke up first, as he almost always did, and did his exercises, and then went into the kitchen to make breakfast. He set up the counter with everything Jaeyoung would need when he woke up and then went into the studio to start working on their new game. They’d been contracted out a number of times since VeggieMan and DEX and university ended, and now had a few ongoing gaming projects at all times, even while Jaeyoung continued to occasionally work for DEX.

He’d been working on it for an hour when he heard Jaeyoung wake up, his little exclamation of joy when he saw everything already neatly prepared on the counter making his chest warm even despite the banality of it. He checked his watch - it was probably time for a short break and a snack for efficiency anyway - and strode into the kitchen where Jaeyoung was humming softly to himself as he made breakfast.

He looked up. “Oh, sorry, was I being too loud?”

“No.” Sangwoo nudged past him to reach the cupboard where the majority of the healthy snacks were stored. The unhealthy ones were still in Jaeyoung’s “secret” drawer by the bed, but Sangwoo had long since stopped having that argument.

“How’s the coding going?”

“There are a couple of errors popping up but I’ve collated them into a spreadsheet so I know what they have in common and how to address them,” he explained, feeling Jaeyoung’s arms slide around his waist before he’d even finished.

“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” he teased, kissing his cheek and pulling him flush against his chest so he could hug him properly from behind.

“You’re so fucking weird,” he volleyed back.

“But you love me anyway,” Jaeyoung said in a sing-song voice.

“Unfortunately,” he deadpanned.

Jaeyoung released him so he could plate up his breakfast, sitting on the barstool by the counter and propping his chin up on his hand while he ate, watching Sangwoo with warm eyes. Sangwoo got distracted, gaze caught on him while Jaeyoung chewed lazily and looked back at him, eyes crinkling in the corners. “Are you gonna eat that or are you just gonna keep staring at me?”

“I’m not staring,” Sangwoo muttered, but he opened the packet anyway.

“You were staring.” Jaeyoung smiled to himself, satisfied.

“I wasn’t staring, I was observing. Staring implies intent, I was just looking at you,” he argued.

“Oh, well, if we’re getting into semantics then you were gazing.”

“You think highly of yourself,” he said, faux-haughtily.

Jaeyoung snorted. “No, you think highly of me. That’s why you were gazing.”

“You’re so annoying.” Sangwoo said, with some degree of fondness. He put the snack to the side and faced him properly over the countertop, palms down between them. He sighed his long-suffering sigh as he looked - gazed - over his boyfriend’s face, at the face he wanted to wake up next to for the rest of his life. Jaeyoung blinked with surprise and something like embarrassment at being stared at so openly, but he didn’t look away. If anything, he took it as an opportunity to stare back, smile slowly growing as the time stretched out between them. Sangwoo sighed again. “You’re so annoying…”

Jaeyoung tilted his head, clearly waiting for the end of the sentence, and sipped his coffee.

“We should get married,” Sangwoo said, resigned.

Jaeyoung choked on his coffee.

“Wh- huh?”

Sangwoo folded his arms. “We should get married. Don’t you agree? We’re both financially stable, we work well together, we already live together. Now is usually the point in relationships where couples begin the process of getting married and having children-”

“Children?!”

“-and it’s probably been long enough. If anything, we’re behind schedule, at least by Korean standards.”

Jaeyoung, still recovering, wiped his face and took a long drink of water. “I… children?”

“Yes.”

Jaeyoung placed his hands flat on the counter, getting his bearings, and straightened his spine. As he always did when he didn’t understand something Sangwoo did or said, he looked him directly in the face and asked straightforward questions. “Do you actually want kids? Or are they just part of your plan because they were part of your old plan, to live a heteronormative life and procreate because evolution demands it?”

“Don’t mock me.”

“I’m not, I’m genuinely asking.”

Sangwoo frowned. “Yes. Don’t you?”

“Yes, but I sort of… I don’t know, we never talked about it. I figured you didn’t.”

“Why?”

“Kids are chaotic.”

“So are you.”

“Rude,” he complained, but he was laughing. “So you want kids, you want to get married… anything else you want to spring on me today? Do you have a secret relative who has left you a fortune?”

“No.”

Jaeyoung sighed and propped his head back up on his hand, scrutinising Sangwoo carefully. “Okay. What made you suddenly say this today?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I woke up this morning and I just… it made sense. We should be married.”

Jaeyoung’s lips tweaked up in the corners. “Are you asking?”

“What?”

“Are you asking me to marry you?”

“I don’t have to ask.”

“Why not?”

“Would you say no?”

“No.”

“So I don’t have to ask.”

Jaeyoung huffed. “Just because you know the answer to the question doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask it anyway.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It doesn’t have to make sense, it’s romantic.”

“You’re infuriating.”

“And you want to marry me,” he pointed out.

“So do you!”

“But I’m not the one who brought it up,” he flashed a grin.

Sangwoo closed his eyes in an effort not to roll them at his drama queen boyfriend, and then decided. He walked around the counter to stand in front of Jaeyoung, who swivelled his seat to face him, grin still sitting irritatingly between his cheeks. Sangwoo made a point of sliding his arms over Jaeyoung’s shoulders and stepping between his knees so they were face to face. “Jang Jaeyoung. Despite the fact that you annoy me every day, for some reason I love you and I want to stay with you for the rest of my life, so will you stop being ridiculous and just agree marry me so we can draw up contracts and legally sign ourselves and our assets over to each other?”

“My boyfriend, the romantic,” Jaeyoung deadpanned, even as his own arms slid around Sangwoo’s waist and pulled him tight against him. He leaned in to kiss him gently and Sangwoo relaxed into it, fingers tangling into his hair. When Jaeyoung pulled back, he didn’t go far, nose nudging against his cheek.

Sangwoo nudged him back. “You made me ask the question - are you going to answer?”

Jaeyoung kissed him again. “I love you.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Pushy.”

“You error- you made me ask.”

Jaeyoung pressed another kiss to his lips. “I know. But you already know the answer, right? So why should I have to say it?”

Sangwoo tugged at his hair meanly, raising an eyebrow. “You think you’re so funny, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not.”

“No, I mean - yes.” Jaeyoung smiled, hands sliding up his back until one of them was on his neck, in his hair, tilting his head back down. This time, the kiss wasn’t brief or chaste. Work and food and the outside world was forgotten as Jaeyoung impressed on Sangwoo all the ways he could possibly say yes, and Sangwoo responded in kind.

It wasn’t a productive work day.

But as he'd learned over the years, Sangwoo was willing to sacrifice some productivity if it meant a better end result.

It just made logical sense.