Work Text:
September 27
This is the diary of Alina Starace, daughter of the noble Girolamo Starace, who is fifty-seven years old and in good health by the grace of our Lord. Last night my father told me in the presence of my grandmother and my brothers, except for David, my brother who is with the fleet, that he has arranged my marriage to Alessandro Morosini.
I am writing this record so that I may remember without fail the events of these days. I hope that my relatives or any who may read this will not find it to be an unconscionable waste of this paper, although it is the duty of a man and not a woman to record events such as these. But anyone who recalls the long legal troubles of my aunt Catalina Starace will, I hope, understand what drives me to write a chronicle of this time of greatest importance to the honor of my family.
There is no need for me to recount here the glory and fame of my family, who through the grace of God have served the Republic of Venice since the days of antiquity. A noble marriage would certainly bring glory to our lineage, though if I had my choice I would rather devote myself to prayer for our souls. If my husband is an upright and an honorable man, however, I suppose I have no choice but to accept the lesser sacrament of matrimony.
I have never met Alessandro Morosini, although his cousin Zosa and I both learn lace-making at the house of Berta Michael. Father will tell me no more about this Morosini than that he is sure to delight me. My father believes that I am one of those silly girls who will be happy as long as her husband is rich. I will have to investigate for myself.
September 28
I asked my dancing-master Bottichino if he knew anything about Alessandro Morosini when he came today to give me my lesson. He replied that the Morosini family was ancient and very noble, which I knew. I would not have been engaged to him otherwise. This is, by the grace of God, Venice.
Alessandro Morosini was orphaned while still a child, along with his younger sister, who is lately married herself. Their grandfather, who has since died, raised them. But then Bottichino told me — or rather I got out of him — that Alessandro Morosini's mother was a noblewoman, but his father was an artisan, and they never were wedded. No wonder he was considered a suitable match for me, given the sin by which I was brought into this world.
Oh, shame on Venice, that we favor noble blood ignobly got! What's worse, Alessandro himself is known to have a son by an infamous woman. I went and told my father that I would not marry Alessandro Morosini and that I wanted to enter a convent immediately. My father locked me in my room, and so I sit here, writing this.
If he takes pity on my tears and allows me to enter a convent, perhaps these words I write will someday be an example to some other unhappy girl who would rather serve God than the greatest prince in this sinful world.
September 29
Grandmother says that Alessandro Morosini was impressed when he saw me at the cathedral at Easter last year. I said I did not see how it could be so, when I distinctly remember my brothers telling me that day that I looked dark as a devil and skinny as a sick dog.
Would it not seem a deliberate violation of God’s will for two children born of sin to marry? Neither I nor he were lawfully got.
I had another long argument with my father.
September 31
Having gathered my courage, and through recourse to the Bible and my father's copy of the writings of Marcus Aurelius, I went today to tell my father that I would not marry unless he endows a significant sum to the Ospizio di Sant'Agnesina [1]. I told him that I am concerned for my soul and his and that if I must exchange the godly state of matrimony to Christ for a mere earthly marriage to a man, I will at least attempt some expiation of my sins by doing good works. He agreed and suggested forty ducats as the gift to be given. I don’t know what to think.
November 1
My grandmother has told me that the total sum of my dowry is to be some five thousand ducats. I did not know that this was the amount it cost for a girl to be married. Forty ducats seems paltry by comparison. Perhaps if I ran away to a convent, they would have to accept me.
I asked Raisa what she thought and she said I was guaranteed to be whipped. She may have a point.
November 4
There has apparently been some dispute about the dowry. Yet again I am reminded that lust for earthly possessions is the source of all misery. I got my grandmother to describe what the currently agreed upon dowry consists of, and I note it here so that my heirs may know as well.
- My personal wardrobe, with the addition of a gown of blue silk lined with white and another of green velvet embroidered with gold thread and lined with yellow silk, as well as my wedding dress of white silk embroidered with gold thread and further embellished by one hundred and sixty-four pearls
- Three spalliere a verdure [2]
- Four sets of antiporte [3]
- Two tapestries, one profane in subject matter and the other sacred
- A bedstead of gilded iron with brocade canopy
- My spinet and a new lute
- A Bible, with gilded and bejeweled binding
- Two cassone - Grandmother Alina's cypress one and a new one decorated with intarsia in the Arab fashion [4]
- Four case alla marmorina [5]
- A cofanetto alla damaschina, of gilded silver and gold, containing my jewels [6]
- A cofanetto decorated with intarsia with a mirror in the lid
- Various bedclothes, all new or almost and of good quality, including two coverlets, one green silk satin lined with white and the other yellow silk lined with blue
- Raisa, and her clothes, as well as a new chemise for her [7]
- The intarsia chess set Father received as a gift from the Milanese ambassador
- Various items of glassware, including Grandmother Alina's navicella [8]
- A full set of silver cutlery, sufficient for twenty-five
- Pewterware sufficient for twenty
- Three houses in the Corte di San Paolo
- A cash portion of some 900 ducats
I doubt this will be the final list. In particular, it seems that my father only included the houses under some duress. Grandmother thinks it likely that he'll make a push to exclude them in return for an increase in the cash portion.
It should go without being said that I am disappointed in the grasping and worldly conduct of all parties concerned. If I must marry, I wish Father would at least pay for a new set of dishes that are finer than the pewter, but he says that my betrothed will provide these.
He had better.
November 10
I went to the house of Berta Michael today and it seemed that all the ladies there had heard of the plans for my marriage. They all teased and congratulated me and quizzed me about my secrecy. Truth be told, I had not wanted the news to get out, as the more people have heard of a thing the more likely it is to happen, and I still hope that the grace of God will awaken a spirit of charity in my father's heart and allow him to let me enter a nunnery.
It would be much cheaper for him, for one thing.
November 11
My father gave me a Greek grammar today. He said it was Alessandro Morosini’s present to me because my betrothed had heard, and this was what my father said, that I always had my nose in a book. My father laughed at me and said it was not the sort of reputation a man might wish for his daughter, but it was no worse than some, and it seemed to have won me a fine husband. He told me many teasing things about some widows who each schemed separately to win Alessandro in marriage out of love for his handsome appearance and worthy estate, and were each refused in turn. But I said it did not matter what other women liked. I liked God and my duty. And then he told me again that both commanded me to marry. I write these words with tears in my eyes. It is not such a hard fate. Why does it frighten me so?
November 17
My betrothed sent us a very interesting gift today: an incense ball of gilded bronze from the Levant. My father told me that I could have it, though it was sent to the family. He does not realize his motives are transparent to me.
November 20
My cousin Marcantonio’s wife Maria and my cousin Adelina, who married Alvise della Papa, came to visit me today. They spoke at length of how happy they are to be married. Adelina gave me her little daughter Letizia to play with. I am not fooled. And besides, I have enough experience with babies from the time when I still lived with my mother in the Calle de Mezzo.
November 21
Having heard from my grandmother of certain developments in the negotiations over the dowry, I demanded those houses in the Corte di San Paolo stay in my dowry. My father asked if that constituted a promise to marry Alessandro Morosini if they did remain in my dowry, and we argued again for some time.
The end result will at least contain some battles won to console me in my defeat in the war. Yes, I have promised to think about this marriage if Father will not change the dowry without consulting me and if he will let me go to church on Sundays again, as he has not except on special occasions since I put on long skirts.
November 23
I met Alessandro Morosini for the first time today. I found it easier to be polite to him than I thought it would be.
How can I describe him? I hardly know the words. He is a tall man, who smiles but does not laugh. His conversation is interesting, but I felt with every word he said that there were ten he thought and did not say.
As everyone has assured me a thousand times — yes, he is very handsome. But it would be wrong for me to allow that to move me. After all, do not the Church Fathers and the philosophers of old both assure us that beauty, like material riches, is fleeting? We must put our stock in the next world.
He took my hand before he left, right in front of my father. He would not let go of it until he had to leave. Then he brought it to his lips and kissed the palm. I was very surprised and ran away. When I got to my room I wondered if I would be scolded for it. But I wasn’t.
November 26
Alessandro Morosini visited the house again today. My grandmother took us to the front room and despite my apprehensions left us there almost alone for several minutes.
Again he took my hand and would not let go of it. I asked him to, as politely as I could manage, remembering that he is to be my husband, and I must demonstrate that obedience which becomes a wife. And yet I am not his wife yet, so why should he hold my hand?
He said that he wanted to respect my wishes in all matters, but hoped I would allow him this liberty for now, as a token of my favor. I said I could not allow it until we were wed, for it would be wrong of me if something happened to prevent the marriage. I do not remember what we spoke about after that. I became confused.
I suppose I am going to marry him. After all, who among us is without sin? And I am not such a heroine as to run away from the good match my father has arranged for me. There are men who would do less for daughters much better got.
December 7
A horrible event has occurred. I hesitate to write of it, but this too I must do, so that anyone who reads this may understand it, and not believe any ungracious word against our family that might be spoken in the future. Last night I was in my bed asleep when I felt a hand on my mouth. I thought it was my grandmother checking on me in my sleep, as she so often does for she is old and wakes in the night and worries for me, but as I came awake I realized that the hand was large and rough and a man's. I curse myself for it, but for an instant I was shocked into immobility.
I did not know what to think when I realized that the intruder was Malberto Olcese. He said so many wild things. He said that he knew he loved me ever since seeing me at our house on Terraferma the summer before last. He said that he had heard of my marriage and that he could not allow it. He said he knew he did not have the wealth to marry me, but if I were already his, my father would have to give his consent. He said that I was just a natural daughter anyway and that what became of me could not much matter to my family. He then tried to embrace me. I was frightened, but not so much that I did not scream, at which point all who were in the house awoke. He tried to escape but Raisa blocked the door and Grandmother came to the window and we all screamed until my father and brothers could come to our rescue. The commotion lasted the rest of the night.
It seems he had paid the watchman of the house next door, which is currently empty due to the lawsuit concerning it, to let him up onto the roof, from which he climbed onto our roof. From there he used a rope to come down into our courtyard, and through an unlocked window entered the mezzanine of the house, where I sleep. Last night was very bright with an evil moonlight and I do not wonder that he knew my room immediately. Oh, that anyone in the world should be so wicked!
My father says that he claims to have been visiting Raisa with her consent, but I told him that Raisa is a good and virtuous girl and that it is impossible that she would allow such a danger into our house. But my father asked how else he could have known Raisa's name and the location of our room. My father is very concerned that our family's innocence in this matter should be established, given that the Morosinis are sure to hear of these events immediately.
December 7, evening
Alessandro Morosini was here! Oh, holy Virgin, hear my prayer. My grandmother did not think it right that he see me so soon after such a distressing event, but my father insisted that I be brought out to show that I was not much harmed. I felt very ashamed for I was only wearing my black cloth gown and my hair was in braids down over my shoulders. I must have looked entirely like a child when my father led me out to greet him.
He took me by both hands in front of my father and my brothers and my grandmother and drew me quite close to him, but nobody said a word to censure him, so they must have thought it right. My brother Nicolo even smiled at me and said he was glad to see I would be so happy. I thought this was very good of him, but I do not know yet if I agree. Alessandro Morosini frightens me. He spoke to me in a low voice and asked me many questions about what happened and who Malberto might be to me.
I did not weep, thank the Holy Virgin. I told him that if he doubted anything I had told my father, he should not think of marrying me, for I would no more lie to my father than I would to him. My father raised his voice at me then, but Alessandro said something strange, that it did not matter what had happened. He was glad that I considered honesty to be so important. To my surprise he agreed that there was no point in questioning me any further. He said that all he wanted was to be assured of my safety, and just like that, he left our house.
My father was fit to be tied, thinking I might have ruined the marriage, but my brother Nicolo said that there was no reason to be angry, for Alessandro only said that it did not matter. I could not remain in the room and ran away in a state of confusion. I was not called back down and so I sit here writing.
December 8
Raisa was taken away in the morning to be interrogated by the men of our house. When she came back, she was weeping, and I felt a great deal of pity for her, as did my grandmother and the other servants. It seems the men believe me when I say that the villain Malberto Olcese did not molest her, but only me, but they now believe that she may have told him where our room is and how it could be accessed.
Raisa said she told them that none of this was true, but confided to me later when we were alone something which she has told no one else: that Malberto Olcese's servant Michele had approached her these past weeks with words of love and promises that he would buy her with the assistance of his master and make her his wife before God and man. She believed him and told him that he could visit her. She realizes now what a dreadful plot she was snared by, and begged my forgiveness. She said that she would tell the whole world if I desired it, but I do not see the need. If the Morosinis do not believe us, then the fault is theirs alone. Somehow I do not think Alessandro believes me ruined.
In all the commotion, none of us remembered to prepare dinner, and we ended up eating bread and cheese for dinner. My brother Gerolamo was in a very bad temper as a result.
December 10
Today Alessandro Morosini came to the house with many of his kinsmen to assure us that his suit still stands, and with my father's consent told me this personally.
I asked him what he meant when he said it did not matter what happened the night Malberto Olcese broke into our house. He said that it did not matter because he would marry me no matter what. Thinking about it, Alessandro cannot have meant that in all seriousness. Or is this strange passion of amor profano that we are warned against? For it cannot be right to take a bride who has been unrighteous. I was born in sin, and were I to sin with a man, I would not deserve to wear the pearls of bridehood.
December 13
Today the most amazing gift arrived. Of course I hardly need write that it was from Alessandro Morosini. A messenger arrived with two armed guards shortly after lunch, and passed a rather large and very heavy box to my grandmother, as father was not home. We were all astounded when we opened it to find a ruby the size of my thumb set in a fine golden brooch, attached to a string of pearls so long it needed to be looped twice around my neck when my grandmother insisted on seeing me wear it.
Of course this costly bauble must be rented for my wedding. I shall take good care of it until we need to return it after the festivities are over. Oh, I wish I were blind to all this false glitter! But they let me take it out and look at it whenever I like, and it is so beautiful. Each pearl is a little different than the others. I could drown in that color, like silk made of cream. I will not attempt to describe the ruby. It seems as far beyond me as Heaven is beyond Hell.
December 14
Alessandro came to see how I liked the necklace. I said it was very beautiful and that I hoped he had not spent too much money on it. He said buying me a few jewels would not make him a beggar. The way he phrased this made me realize he really had bought the jewels instead of renting them.
Something happened then that I am ashamed of now. I became very upset to think of how much money he must have spent on me. That must be why I did it. No, it’s not just my fault. My grandmother shouldn’t have left me in the corner of the front room alone with him. I was sure to do something intemperate. Isn’t that why they’ve watched me so closely ever since I came to this house?
I suddenly realized that I was sitting in his lap, my arms about his neck, and I had already said so many silly things. Well, not all of them were silly, but it was silly to say them. I think I said I would make him the best wife I could, that he would never have cause to complain of me, that I would think only of him from the moment I woke in the morning to the moment I went to sleep at night — oh, I remember what he said then. He asked if he wouldn’t get my dreams, too. That was what stopped me, and I thought of getting away, but one of his hands was on my waist and the other was stroking just below my chin like one pets a dog, and I could hardly breathe, let alone move. He said he was sorry to have interrupted me. He wanted to know what I was begging for so “charmingly.”
I begged that he would pray not send me any more presents, for they were far too fine for me. In fact it became a great argument, but I don’t think I won. He made me say that I would be a good wife for him, do everything I had said I would do, before he let me out of his lap. And he did not promise at all to stop sending presents.
December 16
Alessandro came today just to tell me he must leave for his estates on the mainland. I asked him if it was quite the season for such a journey. He assured me that it was safe as he makes the trip every year before Christmas.
I will pray for him until he returns.
January 9
The date of the wedding has been fixed for the seventeenth of February, which according to every source consulted is a fortuitous day for new undertakings. Accordingly, the marriage contract will be signed one week from today at the office of the notary. My grandmother tells me that I must eat and sleep well until then, because the events between then and my entrance into Alessandro Morosini's home will be exhausting.
Additionally, today Malberto Olcese was sentenced by the Council of Ten to three years in prison. I thank God that I live in the Venetian republic, where justice reigns over evil. I am told it was an unusually long sentence.
January 13
My two new dresses arrived, and just as we were laying them out to see, a third new one arrived from Alessandro Morosini. There was great surprise because we had heard nothing of it. My grandmother insists that it must be altered to fit me by the ball four days from now. It is crimson silk velvet. I am not sure that it is to my taste.
January 16
My father, my oldest two brothers, my uncles Michele and Bernardo, and my cousin Stefano went to sign the marriage contract today at the office of the notary.
My grandmother and I have been discussing the banquets that will be necessary to hold for our friends and relatives between now and the declaration of the marriage vows. Between our guests and those of the Morosinis, we need to entertain at least three hundred and fifty, but given the law passed last year proscribing banquets for more than forty people we believe it prudent to do as the Da Lezzi did last year and split the festivities up into seven banquets of somewhere around seventy people each, as many people will need to be invited to more than one banquet.
January 17
Today my betrothal was formally announced before an audience of some seventy of the best friends of our clan and those of the Morosinis. Bottichino led me into our front room, which was lit up as I had never seen it before, and I danced for the assembly. I wore the white silk gown - the pearls looked very fine in the light - and my hair was let down. I have never been in public with unbound hair before, and the feeling was strange, especially with the scratchiness of the gold threads. Everyone came up to give me their congratulations.
At the end I was taken off in a gondola. To my surprise, everyone on the streets seemed to know who I was, and they all cheered and ran after the gondola. I understood, if only a little, of why my father has been saying it is important for me to marry.
Alessandro was wearing black silk. It was strange to dance with him. Good old Bottichino is the finest dancing-master in Venice, and I was able to keep my feet, but my head was in the clouds the whole time. He spoke to me constantly. It’s all so strange.
January 19
Another ball tonight. I write this while Raisa does my hair. She has never curled my hair like this before and in her nervousness has burned me twice, but fortunately nowhere that anyone can see. My grandmother is more excited than I am by far. She keeps telling me stories of the dances of her youth. At one of her wedding feasts, she danced before a thousand people, she says.
January 20
I could barely get out of bed this morning. I have never been so tired in my life. Idleness is a sin, but nonetheless I had to force myself to get up so that I could help with the preparations for the banquet for our male friends and relations tonight. The entire Olcese clan is persona non grata, except for Pasquale Olcese who is married to my father's cousin Elena.
Last night, as we were leaving the hall where we were dancing, Alessandro insisted that I ride in the same gondola as him, and my father unaccountably allowed it. I pray that this marriage really does go ahead, for he acts as if he is my husband already. But I suppose no one can stop it now.
January 23
Tonight we will receive all of our female friends and relations. I have been to a few such celebrations myself, and there is a bittersweetness in realizing that I will never again attend one as an unmarried girl. I will see Alessandro again on the morrow.
January 24
Of all the little gifts I received last night, the lace collars I received from my maiden friends of the lace-making school are those I will treasure the most. Perhaps I am lucky to be marrying, and so well. My friend Genia is of good birth, modest, intelligent, and kind, but her father can hardly offer enough money to marry her to a man of our class, or even to put her in a decent convent. I wish for better for her.
When I spoke of this to Alessandro he was very kind. I asked him again that he give his gold to the poor instead of spending it on jewels for me. He does not call me a silly girl. Instead he calls me sweet and good. But as ever, he makes me no promises.
January 25
We had a great entertainment today in our cousin Leone's gardens. As soon as the sun was set fireworks were set off. Then a parade of jugglers dressed as devils entered all capering, amid flames made of colored cloth. Then allegories of Temperance, Justice, and Modesty entered and gave speeches. Then nymphs entered by gondola, singing, in very fantastic costume. Finally a Judgment of Paris was imitated, and (as I'm sure was arranged) I was given the apple of the fairest over the actresses playing the goddesses. Do married women really get to enjoy events like this?
I told Alessandro that I was amused in spite of myself. I thought he would tease me, but he praised me instead. I cannot repeat a word of it, for I hardly believe it myself. No — I will repeat three words only. “Modest,” “beautiful,” “wise.” Oh, Holy Virgin, let me grow not proud.
January 28
Another ball last night. I may be getting used to them, as I felt well this morning. But Alessandro would hardly let me dance with anyone else last night! All the people teased him, but he held on to my hand as if he feared he would lose me in the crowd. So we had a great deal of conversation. Alessandro reads Greek very well and said that if I wanted, he could ask his old tutor to come and give me lessons in it every now and again. I became shy and told him that I thought my household duties had to take precedence.
I want to meet his son. The child must be one or two years old now. I don't know where he lives. Perhaps with his mother? I cannot possibly ask Alessandro, at least not yet.
February 1
I went last night to the banquet at Alessandro Morosini's house. I had not been there before. The cabineto d'oro [9] was particularly fine, with gilded leather wall coverings in a Damascene pattern. He told me that he used to rent out half of the house to the widow of Albano Baxeio and her children, but that he had requested they leave as soon as our marriage was decided. I was embarrassed and said that surely half of so large and fine a house was sufficient for one newly-married couple. But what’s done is done and we are to live there as man and wife.
Incidentally, I shouldn't have worried about the silver. We dined off silver - my dish was additionally figured with gold - and a great tiered platform showed off dishes finer still. Alessandro admitted quite freely that not all of it was his, but the dishes he and I and the rest of the wedding party were using were. That should be more than enough for a small household such as ours. It’s good that he knows moderation in some things, at least.
February 3
The reception at our house went well, but my grandmother is worried because we had only two dwarves and the Morosinis had four. I said that our music, which was provided by the Company of Furriers, was much superior, which mollified her a bit. It is strange to think that soon enough I will live apart from her, when I have been with her ever since my mother, may she rest in peace with the Lord, brought me to my father’s house to live. It will be a great change from living in a house full of people to one that, at first, contains only Alessandro and me. I told Raisa today that I was glad she was coming with me. I think that once I have had a child by Alessandro I will ask him to free Raisa and give her a dowry so that she can marry honorably. He can use my money, if he likes. He is not so very much richer than I am, after all.
February 17
It is a little past dawn and there is just enough light to write by. Today I will exchange my vows with Alessandro Morosini. May God grant us peace, happiness, and prosperity.