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i.
“Do you mind if I steal Master Diluc away for a moment?”
The woman currently clinging to his brother turns back with barely-concealed irritation to look at Kaeya, her lips curled in an ugly frown for just a moment before a pleasant smile rushes to replace it, one that doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Of course,” she says, sickly saccharine, her hand taking its sweet time sliding off Diluc’s shoulder as she steps away. “Let’s continue this later, Master Diluc, hm?”
“I look forward to it.” Diluc nods politely, offering a pleasant smile of his own until the woman turns around and walks away, at which point it drops away faster than a stone off a cliff.
Kaeya takes a step closer, guiding Diluc away from the centre of the ballroom with a hand at his back, and he has to suppress a laugh at the sheer annoyance radiating from his brother as he does. He can only get away with this kind of thing while they’re in public, otherwise Diluc would’ve absolutely snapped his neck by now.
“What in the world do you think you’re doing?” Diluc hisses at him once she’s out of earshot. “She’s connected to the Fatui. I was–”
“And that’s precisely why I stepped in. What was your plan, exactly?”
“I don’t need to explain myself to you.” Diluc looks away, and his arms twitch as he resists the urge to fold them in an overly obvious display of displeasure.
“So you didn’t have one. Lovely. How very in-character for you.”
“I did have a plan, I just didn’t see a need to inform you about it, and I still don’t.”
“Let me guess. Make her think you’re onto one of her schemes, at which point she tries to get you alone to eliminate the threat, and then you do your…” Kaeya gestures vaguely at him. “Whatever it is you do. And mysteriously, no one ever hears from her again.”
“Is there a problem with that, Sir Kaeya?”
Oh dear. He’s really pissed off if he’s resorted to using titles even when they’re alone.
“The problem, dear Diluc,” he says, smoothly moving past the the affronted look on dear Diluc’s face at that form of address, “is the illustrious head of the Ragnvindr family putting a target on his back, and rushing headfirst into a potentially very troublesome situation alone. Even your little disguise, if you even planned to use it, that is, won’t do much good like that.”
“You know damn well I can take care of myself.”
“Language,” he chides, patting his brother’s shoulder lightly. “What would Adelinde say?”
“I’ve had enough of this–”
“Wait.” Kaeya grabs Diluc’s elbow before he can turn and walk away. “Hear me out, will you?”
“This had better be worth my time.” Diluc’s glare is intimidating to most people, but Kaeya’s been on the receiving end of it for far too long for it to be effective anymore. He’s quite desensitised at this point.
“Put the target on my back instead.”
Diluc’s glare only intensifies. Kaeya is immune.
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Let me explain, won’t you? Honestly, you’re always so terribly impatient–”
“Get to the point then.”
Kaeya sighs dramatically, relishing the growing frown on his brother’s face as he does. “She wants to get you alone. But what if she can’t? What if there is someone quite blatantly keeping you away from her at all costs?”
Diluc narrows his eyes. “You want to hover around me all night to get her attention so that she’ll go after you first before coming for me.”
“I knew you would understand.”
Diluc raises an eyebrow. “How is that any better than what I had in mind? Sounds needlessly convoluted to get a second person involved.”
Kaeya looks back behind them just in time to see the woman in question watching them with intense eyes. He lets his gaze linger, just enough to make her aware of his presence, not long enough to make her realise he’s seen right through her.
“This way, no one will see you leaving with her, so at least some suspicion will be deflected away from you, and I’ll be able to pin the whole mess on your little alter ego when I write up the report tomorrow. We’ve done this sort of thing before, Diluc, surely you don’t need me to explain every last detail.”
“You sound confident that she’ll go for you first. What if she just ignores you?”
Kaeya shrugs. “If I simply refuse to leave your side, she’s going to realise she can’t get to you without getting me out of the way first. So either she backs off, which spares us both a night of trouble and gives us time to come up with a real plan, or she does exactly what I expect her to.”
Diluc narrows his eyes even further. “I don’t like this.”
“What part of it displeases you?” Kaeya says, smiling sweetly. He knows the answer already, of course, but if Diluc won’t admit it out loud, Kaeya will quite happily pretend he has no idea.
“Alright. Fine. But if this doesn’t work–”
“I’ll take responsibility for everything. Now act natural, please. She’s watching.”
Kaeya leans in with a little half-bow and takes Diluc’s hand in his, pressing a light kiss across his knuckles, chivalrous and chaste and perfectly polite, as expected from a loyal knight tasked with guarding the richest man in Mondstadt. He briefly glances again out of the corner of his eye to make sure she sees it all, sees just how close to his brother he plans to stay for the rest of the night. Diluc’s hand tightens ever so slightly around his with something resembling anxiety, but he watches Kaeya resolutely anyway, not pulling back, quietly assenting to the new plan.
Do your worst, he thinks as he stands back up, flashing a charming smile when the woman makes eye contact at last. I’ll make sure you live to regret it.
ii.
“You owe me so many Death After Noons for this.”
“No one asked you to get involved.”
“What was I supposed to do, just leave you to bleed out in the bushes?”
“I would’ve been fine–”
“Tell me that when you’re capable of walking again.”
Diluc coughs, hard enough to make his entire body shake in Kaeya’s arms. Blood splatters across the front of his shirt. Kaeya clenches his jaw.
“This is why I told you to stop talking.”
“Actually, you told me to keep talking so that I would stay awake–”
“I am going to knock you out myself if you don’t shut up this second. Why are you only talkative when it’s self-detrimental?”
Diluc coughs again and Kaeya tightens his grip, ignoring how it strains his muscles. His heart stutters.
“We’re almost there,” Kaeya says quickly, looking away from Diluc’s paling face. “Just hold on a little longer, alright?”
“Where–”
“The winery. Not the church, I promise, I know you don’t want them to see you, so please just stay quiet and don’t move too much or else–”
“Kaeya,” Diluc rasps, his voice hoarse, “I’m going to be fine. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried. Save your strength and stop talking, for Archons’ sake.”
Diluc finally goes slack in his hold, his head falling limply against Kaeya’s chest, eyes fluttering shut.
“Hey– don’t close your eyes too, you need to stay awake–”
“Master Kaeya? Master Diluc? What’s going on?”
He’s never been more relieved to hear her voice. He’s so relieved he doesn’t even think to correct her on the title.
“Adelinde,” he breathes, a fresh wave of adrenaline coursing through him as he sprints up to the entrance of the winery, Diluc suddenly feeling like little more than a paperweight in his arms. “Adelinde, it’s Diluc– he’s hurt, he needs–”
“Come inside,” she says, pushing the door open with haste, and Kaeya doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t even stop to wipe his boots off before stepping inside. She doesn’t reprimand him for it, which only highlights the urgency of the situation. “What have you two gotten yourselves into this time…?”
“I’m fine, Addie–”
“Shh,” she says as she rushes over, cradling Diluc’s face between her hands for a fleeting moment before she remembers herself and steps away. “Master Kaeya, if you could take him up to his room – there’s a medical kit in there, so you can get started–”
“Of course,” he says, nodding quickly, already making his way towards the stairs.
“I’ll be up soon, I just need to fetch supplies, and wake the doctor, and–”
“I’ve got him, Adelinde. It’ll be alright,” he says, partly for her, partly for himself.
He forces the most reassuring smile he can manage, holding it until she nods back with renewed determination and leaves, heading towards the staff quarters. Kaeya leaves too, taking the steps two at a time, even though his legs scream in opposition, but he’s already wasted enough time. Diluc is clearly holding back his pain too – the only sign of his struggle is the way he clutches the front of Kaeya’s shirt in his fist, his arms trembling. Kaeya settles him onto his bed as gently as he can manage, before rummaging around the drawer that Diluc points him to and pulling out the aforementioned medical kit.
It’s very clearly well-used already, the roll of bandages thin, the tubs of ointment and the bottle of rubbing alcohol half-empty.
“How often does this sort of thing happen, Diluc?” he mutters under his breath, looking over his brother as he writhes on top of the sheets, one arm draped over the gaping wound across his abdomen.
His face is contorted painfully, teeth gritted, eyes screwed shut, forehead beaded with sweat. Only when Kaeya reaches over to help him out of his bloodstained shirt does he open one eye, throwing him a half-hearted glare.
“You don’t need to stay, Kaeya–”
“Hush. I told Adelinde I’d look after you so that’s exactly what I’m doing.”
It’s concerning, really, just how quickly Diluc gives up the fight, but Kaeya can’t exactly afford to complain when he’s in this condition. He doesn’t waste any more time as he peels Diluc out of his bloodied clothes, tossing them carelessly to the floor before reaching for a clean rag and the rubbing alcohol.
Diluc winces visibly each time Kaeya dabs at the wounds, his fists gripping the sheets so tight they’re about to come apart, but Kaeya swallows all of the murmured apologies that come to the surface, keeping his mouth sewed shut as he works. It’s not like apologising will bring any comfort for either of them like this. And it’s not like he’s sorry for doing what has to be done.
“Just through here, Doctor,” a hushed voice says, interrupting the tense silence. Both of their gazes dart towards the doorway, where Adelinde is ushering the doctor in urgently.
“Thank you for your help, Sir Kaeya,” the doctor says. “We’ll take it from here.”
“Just doing my knightly duty,” Kaeya says with a casual smile, nodding back towards them.
He packs up the medical kit as swiftly as he can, clearing away the supplies that are strewn across the bed, avoiding Diluc’s intense gaze all the while.
“Kaeya–”
“Now don’t be as difficult with them as you were with me, alright?” he says quietly, brushing the hair out of Diluc’s face and pressing his lips lightly against his temple before standing up.
He’s definitely pushing it too far, but something about seeing Diluc like this, weak and helpless and unfairly reminiscent of his childhood self, makes him act against his better judgement. Diluc tenses underneath him, his eyebrows furrowing, and for a moment it looks like he might actually reach out and stop Kaeya from leaving–
But he just falls back against the bed, closing his eyes again as he exhales sharply.
Of course Diluc wouldn’t want him to stay. Who is he trying to fool?
Kaeya leaves the room without another word, collapsing against the door as it shuts behind him. He looks down at the blood still staining his shirt and lets out a heavy sigh as he sinks to the floor, exhaustion catching up with him at last.
There’s a sudden cry from inside, sharp and ear-splitting and inimitable. Diluc. It sends a chill through every inch of his body and he’s back on high alert despite the tiredness fraying his nerves.
Diluc doesn’t want him to stay. But Kaeya thinks he will anyway.
Just in case.
It wouldn’t be right to leave his brother alone like this, after all.
iii.
Being drunk is nice. Means he doesn’t have to think as much. Very nice indeed.
“Dealing with you when you’re drunk isn’t nice. Think about how other people feel for a change.”
Oh, had he said that out loud? Oops.
“Just– shut up, Kaeya, nothing you’re saying makes any sense right now.”
“You like it when I talk, don’t you? Otherwise you wouldn’t put up with me in the tavern for as long as you do.”
“I like you better when you shut up. You’ve never said anything of value in your entire life.”
“So rude,” he says, a gleeful grin tugging at his lips as he leans more of his weight on Diluc, who makes no protest except a quiet grunt. He feels like he might just float away at any second, his legs weightless, but Diluc’s arm is quite firmly wrapped around his waist, anchoring him to his side.
“Why’d you have to pick an apartment on the top floor?” Diluc says, huffing as he pulls Kaeya up the stairs. It’s slow going, but it’s really not Kaeya’s fault that the stairs seem twice as long today and his feet won’t follow his orders.
“The view’s nice up there.”
“As if you can even appreciate the view when you’re drunk out of your mind.”
“You’ve got a nice view back at the winery too, but you always keep your curtains drawn. Like a vampire. Are you a vampire, Luc? Is my brother secretly a bloodsucking monster? Is that why you only ever go out at night?”
“How much do I have to pay you to shut up?”
“Bribery won’t work on me,” he says smugly. “I’m an upstanding knight–”
“Even when you’re drunk, you still lie.”
Kaeya shoves Diluc away.
And then he trips on the last step.
The ground rushes to meet him quickly, but Diluc somehow pulls him back in time, so fast it makes him dizzy. He looks over at his brother, expecting to find anger in his eyes, but Diluc only lets out a quiet sigh and pulls him closer again, lifting Kaeya’s arm so that it rests along Diluc’s shoulders.
“Where do you keep your keys?”
“I dunno, you tell me.”
“Kaeya, be serious. Get out your keys, I don’t have all night.”
“Mm… don’t talk so loud. You’re giving me a headache.”
“Quit wasting my time then. I don’t mind just dumping you here on your doorstep.”
“You’re not going to though.”
A loud groan. “Kaeya.”
“Okay, okay,” he mumbles. He has to lean on Diluc as he reaches around in one of his many pockets, his fingers clumsily feeling for the familiar metal of his keys. He fishes them out with an elated cry, only to have them instantly snatched out of his fingers. “Hey, those are mine. That’s stealing. Illegal. Bad Diluc. I could arrest you for that.”
“Like I’m going to stand here and watch you try to unlock this door in your state.” Diluc scoffs as he shoves the key into the door too harshly. It feels like no time at all before the lock clicks. That’s definitely faster than Kaeya would’ve managed. His brother is so good at this. He’s good at everything.
“Thanks, Luc,” he says with a giggle, turning to plant a kiss of gratitude on his brother’s cheek, with a loud ‘mwah’ for emphasis. It lasts longer than it probably should, but it feels warm. Warmer than all the alcohol in his body could ever make him feel. That thought only makes him more giddy. Diluc is always so warm, how does he do it?
“Maybe if you actually dressed for the weather once in a while you’d be warm too.” Somehow Diluc is still next to him. Still warm. He hasn’t moved away yet.
How strange.
“The only strange one here is you.”
Is he really saying everything he’s thinking out loud? That’s probably not good.
“You’re right, it’s not. So shut up already and go inside.”
“Aren’t you gonna come in too?”
“I still have to clean up at the tavern, thanks to the mess you made, don’t forget. You can take care of yourself from here.”
Oh. That’s sad. Something in his chest aches. He thinks he might miss his brother once he leaves.
“No, you won’t. Go on and get yourself to sleep now. You need it.”
His head feels fuzzy, his senses clouded, but he can still clearly tell the moment Diluc disappears. He’s not sure if he manages to say goodbye before Diluc is gone like the wind, and he’s left alone in the cold of his apartment. Whatever warmth or happiness or comfort his brother’s presence had provided, it’s all gone now. Like it was never there at all.
Diluc lied. Kaeya does miss him.
Kaeya always misses him when he’s not around. Everything is better when Diluc is at his side.
Because Diluc is the only one who sees him for what he is, he’s not like everyone else. It’s only with Diluc that he doesn’t feel alone.
And Kaeya hates being alone.
A shame he can only admit to it when he’s drunk.
iv.
Diluc is hanging upside down against the wall, suspended only by a grappling hook, his wild hair tumbling out of his cloak like a waterfall of red. It can’t be comfortable in any sense of the word, but he’s staring ahead with a neutral expression, seemingly composed. Kaeya watches him blankly for a few seconds, bemused, before walking over to greet him.
“This is certainly an interesting way of idling the night away,” Kaeya says, placing a hand on his hip as he stands in front of his brother. They’re almost exactly at eye level.
“Quiet, Kaeya. I’m thinking.”
“Oh, are you now? And how exactly does this unique new position of yours help with that?”
“It makes the blood go to my head and helps me think. And… hmm. Mondstadt looks nice upside-down.” It’s harder to read his expression at this angle, with the mask concealing half his face, but it almost looks like Diluc is smiling. Like he’s relaxed.
His brother can be so incomprehensible at times.
“Does it now,” Kaeya says with a light laugh. Diluc may be an adult, but some of the things he says make him sound so much like a child still. It’s comforting in a way – he’d tried to grow up far too quickly. “Go on then, what does our mysterious hero have on his mind tonight?”
“You’re distracting. Go away.”
“It seems to me like you could use the distraction. You wouldn’t be doing this unless you were bored out of your mind. I suppose times of peace do have their drawbacks, don’t they?”
Even through the mask, Kaeya can sense the movement of his eyebrows as a stern frown forms on his face.
“Stop projecting,” Diluc deadpans.
Kaeya chuckles. “Guilty as charged,” he says, placing a hand over his chest as if wounded. “I hope you’ll tell me if you come up with anything important.”
“You’ll probably have come up with it already by then.”
Is that supposed to be a compliment? From Diluc? He shakes his head and fixes his smile again. Can’t have Diluc thinking he’s succeeded in taking him by surprise. As if his ego needs inflating.
“What do you plan to do if one of the guards on patrol spots your little grappling hook up there? Won’t that cause you trouble?”
“Your men wouldn’t even notice. I’ve walked along the walls in plain sight before and no one’s ever said a word. They’re too busy admiring the scenery. Typical of the Knights to slack off on the job,” Diluc says, looking rather pointedly at Kaeya.
“I see, I see. Thank you for the valuable feedback. I’ll have to pass it on at the next meeting.”
“Don’t waste your breath. We both know nothing will come of it.”
Kaeya sighs. As much as he might be loathe to admit it, Diluc is often right when it comes to just how incompetent the Knights can be. It’s not his fault that Varka decided to take all the remotely capable people with him, but he ends up being the one to bear the brunt of the criticism regardless.
“You know, it’s one thing to say that sort of thing around me, but the Knights really are doing their best. You have no idea just how hard Jean works trying to keep it all under control.”
“It’s precisely because I know how hard she works that I think the whole organisation is inefficient.”
Okay. He’d walked right into that one. He must be off his game tonight.
His words sting a little more than they should. Diluc is reserved in a lot of things, except when it comes to condemning the Knights, and sometimes Kaeya wonders if he does it on purpose, to remind him of his complete inability to truly change anything. To get back at him for choosing to stay with them after everything that had happened.
“You’re hardly the picture of efficiency yourself. Everyone has their weaknesses, even you.”
“Do I?”
Kaeya rolls his eyes, not fondly, mind you. “Of course you do. Here, I’ll show you.”
He’s not sure what exactly gives him the idea. It’s just the first thing that comes to mind when he thinks of how best to get on his dear brother’s nerves. To remind him that he’s not the stoic and invulnerable wall he pretends to be.
Kaeya gently pries the mask away from Diluc’s face and leans in to peck him on the nose lightly. A childish gesture, the sort of thing they might have done back when they weren’t even teenagers. Not that he remembers those days, or thinks about them at all anymore. That would be silly.
When he leans back, triumphant smirk in place, ready to laugh at whatever furious rant is about to leave his brother’s mouth, Diluc simply raises – lowers? – an eyebrow at him. His expression remains otherwise indifferent.
“At least put my mask back on for me.”
He blinks.
“This is the part where you curse me out for so boldly overstepping your boundaries,” he says slowly after a pause, raising an eyebrow in return. Diluc’s not usually this mellow. He’d blame it on alcohol if he didn’t know better. “Are you sure there’s any blood circulating in that head of yours at all?”
“Do you want me to be angry with you?”
An angry Diluc is easier to deal with. More predictable, more routine. He’s become all too familiar with that side of him in recent times.
The way Diluc had phrased that question, though, makes it sound like he’s not just talking about this moment.
“Never mind,” he mutters, smirk faltering, hastily placing the mask back over his face before he can think about it too much.
It’s rare for Diluc to catch him off guard, instead of the other way around. It feels like he’s trying to change the status quo, to upset the mystifying and vitreous balance between them, and Kaeya’s not sure if he’s ready for that. If he’ll ever be ready for that.
“You should get more sleep. You seem more tired than usual tonight,” Diluc says abruptly just before Kaeya steps back.
It doesn’t sound condescending or critical. No, instead there’s something soft in his words that he doesn’t want to acknowledge. His entire body goes tense.
“Perhaps I’d be able to sleep more if I didn’t have a vigilante to worry about every night.”
“Worry in what way?”
“You know exactly what way,” he counters quickly, only to see a faint smile on Diluc’s lips.
It takes all he has to not strangle him right there and then.
“Night, Kaeya,” Diluc calls out as Kaeya walks away with his arms crossed tightly, sounding vaguely amused. Which, for Diluc, might as well be equivalent to hysterically laughing his head off.
“I’m going to arrest you on sight the next time I see you hanging around like that,” Kaeya calls back over his shoulder, ignoring the baffling heat rushing to his cheeks.
Diluc doesn’t make him flustered. That’s Kaeya’s job. Something about hanging upside down had just made him more vexing than usual.
It doesn’t matter. Next time, he’ll just have to be twice as vexing in return.
v.
“Kaeya, what do you think you’re doing? Do you realise how late it is? I’m in the middle of closing up.”
“Come on,” Kaeya says, completely uncaring as he settles into his regular seat at the bar, practically draping himself across the counter, “can’t you spare some time for your brother?”
Diluc bites back the usual retort. Kaeya’s just trying to rile him up, as he always does. He turns away again with a long sigh and pours out a drink. Not Death After Noon, he’s already packed the dandelion wine away, so this’ll have to do. The sooner Kaeya is served, the sooner he’ll be out of Diluc’s hair, and the sooner Diluc can go home.
“Hey, Diluc, if I left one day… you’d be okay, wouldn’t you?”
He almost drops the bottle of wine he’s holding. Almost. His hands are steady. He’s calm.
“Of course,” he says flippantly, not looking up to meet his brother’s gaze, keeping his eyes fixed on the glass below him, “why wouldn’t I be?”
“Just checking.”
Kaeya’s fingers drum against the counter impatiently. An annoying rhythm with an inconsistent tempo, that must have been composed solely to get under his skin, but he keeps his mouth pressed firmly shut and says nothing. Kaeya being annoying is nothing new. He pushes the finished drink violently towards his brother, who reaches for it with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.
“What’s this about leaving?” Diluc’s voice isn’t as nonchalant as he’d hoped it would be.
For a long moment the question hangs in the air, awkward and stifling, though despite that he feels a strange lack of regret. Because it would have eaten away at him and left him sleepless for at least a week otherwise, and if Kaeya’s going to come into his tavern and bother him with inane questions, he has every right to bother him back.
Kaeya’s eyebrow arches ever so slightly, not enough for most people to notice – but Diluc isn’t most people.
“If you’d really be okay, the details shouldn’t matter, should they?”
Why does Kaeya have to be so damn cryptic about everything?
“I–”
“It was just a hypothetical, Diluc. Really. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”
Diluc’s mouth feels dry. He goes back to wiping down one of many glasses he still has left to clean, letting the mindless motion distract him from whatever nonsense Kaeya is trying to throw at him.
“Other people would be worried. If you left, that is.”
He doesn’t know how or why he says it. He hadn’t meant to. He really does want to drop this whole conversation, for both of them to forget it ever happened and move on with their lives, but to leave it on that bleak note would’ve been wrong. Acting impassive has never been one of his strengths.
“I trust you’d look after them, then?” Kaeya says, an audible smirk in his voice.
Diluc looks up to meet Kaeya’s gaze. “I shouldn’t have to.”
“But you would, right?” Kaeya says, his face blurred and distorted behind the wine as he lifts the glass for another sip.
“I– Sure, but that’s–”
“That’s all I wanted to ask. Don’t think about it anymore, alright?”
If you didn’t want me to think about it then why the hell would you bring it up in the first place?
He doesn’t say that. His tongue feels like lead for some reason, an inexplicable lassitude hanging over him that keeps him from opening his mouth again.
“As much as I enjoy your company, you staring at me so seriously like that kind of ruins the mood, I must admit. Have you considered smiling?”
He grits his teeth and puts down the glass he was cleaning, then heads into the storeroom, shoving the door open a bit too forcefully.
“Of course, don’t let me keep you from your work. So dedicated, aren’t you? Father would be proud.”
Easy bait. Diluc isn’t falling for it. The door slams shut behind him, muffling Kaeya’s smug laughter. Good. He doesn’t want to hear another word out of him for the rest of the night unless it’s ‘goodbye’.
He’s allowed himself to get lost in the meaningless organisation of meaningless bottles when there’s a loud crash behind him.
Followed by the unmistakable shattering of glass.
He heads back out only to find Kaeya isn’t sitting there anymore.
“Kaeya?”
There’s a red puddle on the counter, viscous and glistening in the low tavern light, dripping off the side slowly. He holds his breath. The subsequent silence only amplifies the sound of each droplet as it falls.
“Kaeya, where’d you go?”
Drip, drip, drip. A consistent tempo. It still gets under his skin.
Diluc pushes his way out from behind the bar, only to find–
“Kaeya–!”
His brother, collapsed on the floor, face down, utterly still.
A pool of red with his motionless body at the centre, seeping into the wood.
With a panicked gasp, he falls to the floor next to him, turning Kaeya’s limp body over. His face is pale, anaemic, there’s a deep darkness under his eyes, and there’s a nauseating swathe of red, blooming across his chest, spreading out from his heart–
Diluc’s heart stops.
This can’t be happening. Not to him. Not to Kaeya.
Not now. Not yet. Not ever.
If I left one day…
He screams. No sound comes out.
His hands move of their own accord, pulling Kaeya up, cradling his brother against his chest as he sobs into his hair, holding him close, clinging to whatever life is still left in his body.
“I lied. Kaeya, I lied, I’m sorry I lied, but you’re all I have left, you know that, so you can’t–” His voice breaks. His face feels wet, and then he can’t feel his face at all, lost in the throes of panic. “How could I ever be okay without you?”
Kaeya doesn’t respond.
“Please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any of it, I love you, you have to wake up because I can’t– you can’t leave me like this,” he says, shouting, but the words come out as harsh whispers instead, tears getting in the way, his breaths choked and gasping and desperate.
He still won’t move.
Diluc holds him tighter. His body is still warm. He was here just a few minutes ago, how did it all go wrong so fast? There’s nothing else he can do but–
Wait.
Glass catches on his gloves, but that’s not the problem.
The… red liquid… it’s very much not warm. Not like blood should be.
And his Vision, the damned Cryo Vision, is still glowing at his belt, obnoxiously bright. Like it’s laughing at him.
He pulls his glove off gingerly and presses two fingers against Kaeya’s pulse point, just below his jaw.
Sure enough. An annoying rhythm. Slow, a little faint for his liking, but undeniably present, accompanied by the soft drumming of his heartbeat underneath, quiet and steady.
He leans in carefully to listen for breathing. He pulls away once he gets his answer.
Well then.
Diluc stares down at Kaeya. Sleeping. Even through all his panic, his crying and shaking and borderline manic yelling, Kaeya is sleeping peacefully like nothing is wrong.
“Idiot. Gods, you scared me– Kaeya, you idiot, you’re the fucking worst, I swear to the Archons,” he says, breathless, anxious laughs quickly morphing into choked sobs, and he knows he’s spouting nonsense, the words spilling out faster than wine spills down an alcoholic’s throat, but he’s never felt such raw fear before so excuse him for not caring about that.
Showing up at the end of the night with all this obscure bullshit about ‘leaving’ and then falling unconscious on the spot – what the fuck else was Diluc supposed to think?
Fuck, maybe Diluc is the one who needs sleep, if the sight of his motionless brother was enough to send him spiralling like that.
His heart is still hammering in his chest.
“I love you,” he whispers into Kaeya’s hair as he pulls him in close, kissing the top of his head roughly, desperately. The tears running down his face taste salty and sting his lips. He pulls his stupid baby brother even closer, wrapping his arms around him so tightly that not even the strongest wind would dare to pull them apart. “So you can’t go and scare me like that again, okay?”
I love you so much it hurts.
Kaeya obviously doesn’t answer. But the quiet thud of his heartbeat is enough for now. Like this, Diluc can hear every single breath, can feel the rise and fall of Kaeya’s chest as if it were his own, a steady, constant reassurance of his continued breathing, signalling that he’s still alive. He looks down at the Vision again, just to be sure. It glows softly, cold and bright and serene, and Diluc lets out a shuddering breath before burying his face in Kaeya’s shoulder.
“You’re all I have left, Kae,” he repeats, his voice trembling. “I still need you. I always will.”
Stupid Kaeya. He probably worked himself too hard and skipped one too many meals. And then he decided to pass out here and make it Diluc’s problem. Stupid, stupid Kaeya.
Diluc is going to make it Kaeya’s problem when he wakes up. He’ll force-feed this idiot if he has to. Cut him off early for a week, maybe two, and cook something here to make sure he eats a real meal and goes home to sleep at a reasonable time instead. Anything to prevent a repeat of tonight.
Diluc doesn’t think his heart could take it again.
He looks down at Kaeya, still fast asleep in his arms, and makes one last desperate plea, one that he doesn’t think he’ll ever be brave enough to say when Kaeya is conscious, but it’s better than never saying it at all.
“Don’t ever leave me, alright?”