Chapter Text
“So, is it about your private or superhero life?” Marinette asked carefully, trying to avoid finding out something she didn’t have to know about her partner.
Chat Noir showed up at her balcony unexpectedly. Well, at least when she told him today as Ladybug to try and talk to some friend about what troubles him, she would never expect her civil identity to be the friend he’d come to. First of all — they weren’t really friends, they talked a few times before, but she wouldn’t consider it any kind of close relationship.
Plus, when Ladybug saw him destructed and kind of out of his balance the last few days — no jokes, no flirting, no nothing of his usual self — she asked him what was wrong. But his answer was that he cannot discuss it with her.
So, it was about his civilian life then, she concluded. Then he must try in reaching some help from his civilian life as well.
But now she was totally confused. Not only that he’d come to her as Marinette asking for advice, but also as Chat Noir. What could he possibly tell her about his civilian life without risking his identity, that he couldn’t tell Ladybug. It didn’t make sense at all.
“A bit of both, I guess,” Chat Noir was looking far into the night.
“Then you can’t really tell me anything, right? It could put your identity in danger.” Marinette reminded him.
“I’m not sure I really care much about it any more.” His sighed.
“What?” Marinette wasn’t sure how to deal with it. What could possibly happen to him to make him look so lost? And what about the identity issue? “How can you say that? Your superhero identity must be protected at all costs! Paris needs you! Shadowmoth would...”
“I thought so too.” It seemed he didn’t listen much to her words. “She always talks about our secrets, like it’s something untouchable, unquestionable. I trusted her.” He silenced.
Is he talking about her? Ladybug? Or somebody else? Why did he use the past tense?
“Ladybug?” She took a risk to ask him.
“I knew she was right. So I followed her... At least, I tried my best.” His gaze was still lost on the city.
“What... happened?” Now Marinette was worried for real. This wasn’t a joke. He didn’t trust her anymore? He didn’t trust Ladybug? That’s why he has been so different lately? But why? What could she possibly do to deserve it?
“I can’t really tell you much. Let’s say, I received some information from my other life, that shows that Ladybug isn’t as strict with the secret identities as she demonstrates.”
“What do you mean?!” This wasn’t what she’d expect to hear. And it was bad. Did he see her transformation? No, it couldn’t be it. He clearly talks to Marinette now. Did he see her giving miraculous to someone while being in his civilian self? Was she instructed not to see a stranger? No, no, no, no, no! She was so careful every time! It can’t be it, can it?
“Maybe it was an accident?” She said, trying hard not to show her anxiety. “Whatever happened, I mean.”
“Not really, no. It was actually her choice.” He said with no doubts in his tone. “I mean, how do you trust someone, knowing they live a double life?”
“I thought you were supposed to be living a double life?” Marinette was even more confused now. Whatever happened, or the things that happened, it hurts him, and maybe even worse — it infects the trust they have. No, this is not something they could afford now, especially with Shadowmoth becoming stronger every time.
“We do. But not like that.” He finally managed to say. Clearly it wasn’t the easiest topic for him to discuss. “I get it, all the secret identity thing. She is the guardian and all, but still. Why the same rules don’t apply to every superhero? Why have double standards for others?” He turned to look at her, like he’d expected her to actually answer the question. “Why?”
Marinette was staring at him blinking. What is he talking about? Alya? Did she somehow let him understand she knows Ladybug’s identity? But then again, he wasn’t talking about Chat Noir, he was talking about his civilian self. Does he know Alya? And even if he knew, Alya would never betray her trust. If anything, Marinatte trusted her friend completely, especially after she managed playing Shadowmoth almost by herself, keeping her identity safe and covering for Ladybug. It can’t be it. But then... what?
“I’m sorry, Princess,” Chat Noir finally said with a sigh. “I shouldn’t have come here. You have nothing to do with this. I don’t know why I’m here. I don’t really have other friends to talk about it with. Well, not anymore, I guess.”
Like she wasn’t confused enough. He doesn’t have friends to discuss this ANYMORE? Did he have any before?
Marinette was overloaded with mixed information to respond. He turned his back to her, probably leaving, when her mind broke back to reality.
“Thanks for listening, Princess, by!” He made a step away from her before jumping from the balcony.
Marinette’s eyes widened.
“No, wait!” She yelled, making a fast move toward him, catching him in hold from behind, clasping her hands tightly on his chest. “Please, don’t leave! You can talk to me. Please!” She couldn’t let him leave. What if he was about to do something stupid? He didn’t look like himself, all lost and gloomy. She didn’t know if something really happened or it was some sort of misunderstanding, but he definitely believed in it. And it broke him.