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They were five, she was eight.
She was too young to know, but Kya had pulled a string, and it was red.
Lin and Tenzin were sitting quietly—the little monk happily reading a book, the young Beifong deciding to play with the earth. Kya found herself fascinated by the art; she compared it to her own control of the water, but she was baffled by how distinct it was. Determined to learn more, she sat down between them, forcing Tenzin aside. He pouted.
“Earthbending, huh?” Kya was never a stranger to introductions.
The young Lin was flustered by the sudden interest, and turned away as she blushed. “Yeah, i’m not very good at it.” Her voice was quiet and soft, an unexpected contrast. Kya knew Toph well enough to know. She grinned.
“Still pretty cool though. I’d like to learn it one day!” She smiled and patted Lin on the back.
“You know you can’t do that, Kya!” Tenzin quickly blurted. “Only dad can...” He went back to his book, quietly mocking his platypus bear-brained sister. She stuck her tongue out at him then turned back to Lin.
“I may not be able to move a rock, but there are other ways to learn earthbending, I think.” She pondered.
Lin looked intrigued.
“I remember something Zuko told me once!” Kya exclaimed. “The way he redirects lightning is actually a waterbending technique! What if there’s a way to do an earthbending move with water...?” She tilted her head in thought. Lin did the same, wondering the other way around. They both sighed in frustration when they popped up with nothing. As Kya pouted, Lin decided to make light of the situation.
“Hey, Kya, I have an idea,” she said. “How about one day, years from now when we’re masters, I teach you some earthbending, and you teach me some waterbending? I’m sure we’ll figure something out by then!”
Her voice was too cute! Kya caught herself staring for a second, before she pinched her cheeks, grinning.
“Alright!” she exclaimed, then finally released Lin from her clutches. “But before then, we gotta practice...”
Kya opened her water satchel and splashed some water in Tenzin’s face, ruining his book.
“Kyaaaaaa,” he whined.
Kya stuck her tongue out at him again, prompting a chase. Lin joined in.
This lasted until the end of the day.
~~~
They were eighteen, she was twenty-one.
Kya knew what that red string was.
She realized she was different around fourteen, finding herself unusually wanting the attention of the other schoolgirls. Back then, she simply wanted to talk to them, get to know them, admire their hair, their bodies, their lips...
She was fifteen when she finally kissed a girl. It was an extraordinary experience, unlocking an entirely new world of answers and love that were chained away by confusion. As she backed away from her friend behind the school, she smiled, happy to realize she was okay.
That “friend,” unfortunately, was not as receptive, and Kya learned quickly not to spread her newfound knowledge if she wanted to keep her friends.
She was sixteen when she told her parents. Katara told her something witty about Uncle Sokka dating the moon, Aang hugged her and told her stories about ancient Air Nomads that were the same. The rest of the family found out over time, including the one that wasn’t blood related.
Years passed and Kya finally left the confinements of her home to “find her own path.” Scheduling time to come home at least once a year, she figured Avatar’s Day was a humble excuse for unnecessary family drama. Unfortunately (or probably, fortunately), Kya found herself in town to find half her family missing. Bumi was away on missions, and Tenzin was away with Aang on some Avatar adventure; this only left her mother to tend to. At least today, Toph was visiting, which meant her kids would be with her. After the societal greetings and visits, Kya found herself wandering outside.
She found her practicing her earthbending in the courtyard. Lin was training a drill involving lifting rocks and exchanging their positions. Kya walked the battlefield slowly while Lin completed her exercise. Exhausted, Lin collapsed on the ground cross-legged. Her expression was one of surprise when a splash of water suddenly cooled her off. She spat the water out then looked up at the perpetrator.
“Kya?”
“Earthbending, huh?”
As Kya smiled with her outstretched hand, Lin coldly turned away. Kya frowned and sighed as she sat down beside her.
“Looks like you got better,” she quietly said, cheeky with her words.
Lin stayed quiet as she stared at the ground. Kya should have expected this; it had been going on for years. The once quiet girl who hid behind her knees was exposed, hardening into a determined, cold-set woman. She knew Lin had pressure, but she never really realized how long it’d been crushing her.
“I’m not very good at it.” Lin’s voice was still quiet, though the softness had worn away. She almost snarled with every breath, acting as if it was against her. Frustration commanded her.
“Still pretty cool, though,” Kya muttered, even if the words had lost meaning over time. She looked over at Lin, wondering just when she broke. It wasn’t as if she didn’t witness it; she saw the silent expectations Toph placed on her kids, even if she insisted they were free. Kya silently cursed at herself for not stopping it, for ignoring it. She did every time.
It was as if she glossed over it all to focus on her own feelings. It was not strange to Kya that she felt something jump in her chest whenever Lin was the subject, and she couldn’t remember a time she felt differently. It took a while to admit it, but she would think of her in the back of her brain when she distracted herself with flighty crushes and unfulfilled relationships. Selfish was a word that came to mind often, coming to light in instances of reality. Selfishness, probably the reason why Kya was so baffled right now. It was like it was blinding her-
“I just miss him,” Lin quietly admitted, a slight blush appearing on her cheeks. Her voice regained a tad of that reminiscent kindness of childhoods past. She turned to Kya, who was taken a bit aback by the gesture.
“Miss who?” Kya asked. Her faced relaxed as she lied to keep conversation. She already knew the answer. She prepared herself and stopped thinking.
“Tenzin.”
Kya turned away and gritted her teeth. Of course she’d choose him instead of her. It was no secret, everybody knew, but Kya noticed. She knew the way she looked at him, with the same star-crossed eyes she saw Lin with. She wished her smiles were brought by her instead of him and prayed to whatever universe would listen that the roles were changed.
She knew all of this, and maybe that was what blocked life and it’s games from showing itself to Kya.
She hated this, but she couldn’t let Lin know. She could never let Lin know. She kept her secrets close yet again to wrap a friendly hand around her shoulders, allowing her friend to be reassured. Lin didn’t cry, but Kya knew she was weeping. She knew loneliness, even if it was hidden in cold faces.
“I figured out how to waterbend rocks,” Kya muttered, trying to bring some light into contrast.
Lin didn’t move much except her head, only to look at Kya. She turned away when she remembered.
“Oh yeah, that...” she whispered. “I can’t believe you’ve held onto that for all these years-”
“We promised,” Kya said. She had a feeling Lin would forget, even if they were so enthusiastic at the prospect in childhoods past. Kya never let go, however. She would remain stuck in time.
“Anyway, just think of the rocks as water,” Kya explained, regardless if Lin was going to listen or not. “I think you can fuse them together and just make them... flow.”
Lin squinted her eyes. “I’ve seen Su do that with those meteorites of hers,” she stated. She didn’t seem too fond of her sister’s accomplishments. “I’d be lying if I didn’t think the way she bends metal reminds me of waterbending. She constantly reminds me of you, really.”
Kya’s heart jumped. She realized now Lin’s heart wouldn’t jump back, especially if this rhetoric was going to keep up.
“Su’s as much of a free spirit as you are. I just hope she stays more grounded.” Lin stood up, and walked away to leave Kya in thought.
What? The curious word came to mind. What was that supposed to mean? Did her absence... affect her?
Could it be that Tenzin wasn’t the only one she was missing?
But I mean nothing to her, Kya thought. She grabbed her head and sunk into her knees, her mouth wide open but not making a noise. The words would soon prove to tattoo into her consciousness, developing into a banter she would scream to forget.
I mean nothing to her.
A day passed, and Kya was already on her way. As she began to make her exit, she found Lin standing by her bedroom door.
I mean nothing to her.
“Bye,” her voice was small and... insecure? Kya looked at her for a brief moment, before shifting her eyes away.
I mean nothing to her.
“I’ll be back,” she said, knowing there was truth in her words, but feeling like she was forcing more salt into Lin’s wounds. She started to leave, but Lin stopped her and hugged her. Kya probably hugged her back tighter, but what mattered was that Kya could feel her. She could cloud her mind with the fantasies and positives that controlled her thoughts about Lin, but decided for once to accept reality. She cried with Lin, knowing that these farewells, while only temporary, struck the both of them harder than they willing to admit.
I mean something to her.
These thoughts lasted and didn’t end with the year.
~~~
They were twenty-two, she was twenty-five.
The tangled red string started to slowly mend itself.
Perhaps that kiss was too fast.
They looked at each other, confused at what just happened. Kya didn’t know what came over her, all she saw was Lin in pain. None physical, but the bandages over her face were removed to reveal a scar. It was even rarer now to see Officer Lin Beifong cry, but here she was breaking down in front of the mirror.
It wasn’t the disfiguring of her face that hit her; it was her family finally reaching its limits and hitting the breaking point. Su was sent away, and Toph spent her nights locked away in her study. Lin found herself spending time away from home just to cope, somehow finding the police station comforting. This is where she found Kya in town again, getting a mugshot and time for a DUI. She did it resentfully, but she knew which strings to pull in order to get an old friend out of jail. With Tenzin off earning his tattoos, she really had no other choice if she wanted her sanity.
It wasn’t a good idea for Lin to bring Kya home, especially since the goal was to run away from her problems. So, they had opted to rent a hotel room for the night, knowing Kya was, again, leaving tomorrow, anyway. Although she was still a little intoxicated, Kya wasted no time bringing out the cactus juice (rumoured to have come from Uncle Sokka’s private collection). Lin decided to follow her sister’s footsteps for a moment, figuring one night of illegal alcohol levels was allowed in her situation.
The conversation had started into something deeper, both of them showing emotions cities would kill to witness. Here, Lin confessed her distastes for her family in open view, Kya doing the same. What they shared, they bonded, pondering more why it took over twenty years of friendship to open up and just talk.
They were lying on the bed now, only inches away from each other’s faces, their lips... Every word created by every breath was magnified, and felt all the more real. Every sentence made a story that touched. They rambled for the sake of gibberish, just to continue experiencing. Kya made a mistake when a hand reached Lin’s face.
Lin stopped and her eyes widened. She didn’t need to hear Kya’s words to feel—she held them right now. Kya’s face was identical, but her heart was racing. Her breaths were fast, begging for air. She could feel Lin tightening up as she did, and knew now that whatever happened was fueled by more than alcohol.
Kya’s mind exploded with the love she tried so desperately to repress. Here they were, exposing themselves to no one else but each other, the trust they built reserved for a deeper meaning. She creeped even closer to Lin’s face now, both of them closing their eyes, waiting for the outcome.
And then, Kya kissed her. She knew damn well what came over her.
The kiss was so brief, and in an instant they looked at each other, confused at what just happened. Confused, but also terrified. Lin shot up and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Kya heard the break down.
When she heard the sobs stop after what seemed like forever, Kya opened the door to find Lin just staring at herself. Her fingers rested on her scar, but weren’t trying to hide the wounds. She could see Kya walk behind her in the mirror, and felt a shock run through her body as she placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Earthbending, huh?” Kya whispered as she looked at Lin through the mirror. She grit her teeth as tears reformed, and pushed Kya’s hand off her shoulder.
“I’m not very good at it,” Lin murmured, perhaps trying too hard to stop more tears from falling. She wasn’t talking about throwing rocks.
They stood there in silence. Kya started to realize the event, or rather remember. It was ten years ago again, but there was a bigger heart, no bigger hearts on the line. Kya knew she had to leave if she wanted to keep it, and her brother, and turned around.
“Kya,” Lin’s voice was a quiet whimper. She turned around and grabbed her arm. Kya looked at Lin’s gripping fingers for a moment with swollen eyes, before she threw them off of her.
“This never happened,” she said, her voice colder than Lin’s could ever be. “I’m sorry.”
I mean nothing to her.
Kya stormed out before Lin had any chance to act. She could hear her frustrations in the glass breaking behind the door. She ran through and out of the city in just as many tears as Lin did, a war struggling to win in her head. Was that right? Should she have stayed? Should she have kissed-
Someone touched her hand, and Kya turned around to see it. Lin was wet from her break down. She had no idea how Lin reached her at the city’s outskirts so quickly, but felt there was some reason it had to happen. Her head was down as she held on so tightly to Kya.
“Don’t go,” she cried, no, begged.
Kya stood there, wondering what the right response would be.
“I’ll be back.” It was all she could manage to choke.
Lin wiped her tears, then looked up at Kya. She looked strong again, but also delicate and broken. She nodded her head. Kya’s answer told her all she needed to know. Kya just stood there as Lin walked back to the city. Lin felt this, and turned around.
“Leave. That’s all everyone does.” Her voice returned to that familiar snarl. “I guess I’ll see you again in three months, on Avatar’s Day.”
“I guess,” Kya’s voice was so quiet.
How strange, it is, that two can be so close and so distant in the timespan of a moment.
They exchanged nods and bows, and turned their backs, going on their own paths.
Kya cried that night by the fire. This lasted until she had no more use for fires.
~~~
They were forty. She was forty-three.
She was twenty-four. The red string had a grand ‘ol time with that one.
“How the hell could you do that to her!?” Kya screamed as she continued her barrage of water at “brother dearest.” He had stopped trying to airbend the water out of the way by now, accepting the geysers being blasted at him. Perhaps he was too tired, but maybe Tenzin did feel the words his sister threw at him.
“You were married!” The anger caused her anguish, but Kya only felt the tears as another weapon. She had him backed onto a wall now, bending a block of ice to form in the air. Tenzin was terrified.
He knew for years that Kya loved Lin, just as he did. He never delved into the idea, especially since he knew the outcome was in his favor. It’d been years since he’d even seen them talk, Lin saying something about them having a fight when he was away once. He did that a lot while Aang was alive, he realized, and decided to stay grounded after he earned his arrows. He didn’t realize just how much that meant to her.
He also didn’t realize how much that meant to Kya. Or rather, how much she meant to Kya. In his mind, he simply saw a failing relationship, and found no use to continue. Perhaps he was a bit blinded by reality as well.
What he definitely couldn’t ignore was the ice block his sister had bent into a spear, the sharp edge of the blade just inches away from his neck. Tears started to form as he saw his life on the line, begging and pleading to the universe that he would be safe.
“K-Kya!” he cried, hoping his sister would exit her love-fueled craze. He was shaking, every bone trembling in his body. They stood there for a few moments as Kya glared at him with so much disdain and disgust.
She didn’t know what she was doing. What she did know, was what led up to this. You’d have to be blind not to see the stress hammered on their relationship after Aang died. She considered sometimes talking to Lin about it, but she stopped herself every time. It was dangerous to get too close again.
What she knew was that Tenzin was the last airbender, and Lin was a woman. That was all he needed, it seemed. Kya remembered how uncomfortable Lin looked when Tenzin proudly boasted that they were planning children. While his face glowed at the reconstruction of the Air Nation, Lin turned away, holding herself because no one else would.
Kya knew from a young age that Lin hated kids. She wanted nothing to do with them, let alone raise her own. She figured her mother was a bad enough parental figure, and didn’t want her own children resenting her like she did. In addition to the crying, the screaming, and the goddamn dependency, Lin swore to never touch an infant.
She had a feeling Tenzin was being a bit forceful in trying to instill his ideals onto Lin. In a way, manipulating her even if he didn’t realize it. Kya knew Lin relied on him, craved him, even, and it looked like she was willing to do anything to keep him. Things changed when Lin finally decided to be vocal about her pain. She must have figured opening up to one sibling was just like venting to the other. She was wrong. Tenzin wasn’t as compassionate to her problems, and started to stray away from her. Lin started to wonder if her worth to Tenzin was just her body, and grew to gain hate towards her love. Horrible, it was, that it came so damn easily.
Well, it helped that Tenzin cheated on her, and Pema was pregnant. Was his duty to rebuild the Air Nation more important than her? More important than forty years of love?
Short answer: Yes.
Kya was still holding the spear up to Tenzin, he almost fainted. After reminiscing, Kya remembered who she was attacking. This wasn’t a savage; this was her brother.
Tenzin sighed so heavily in relief after Kya dropped the spear. She dropped onto the ground with him, cross-legged and still angry. She looked down in her lap, shaking the same as he was.
“You’re so selfish,” she stammered.
He didn’t have a reply.
Before they had a chance to continue, a large rumbling was heard in the courtyard. Kya shot up instantly, for Lin had traversed there shortly before the current events, looking for a place to hide after the words were said. When they both reached the courtyard, they couldn’t believe their eyes, and couldn’t believe such destruction was possible.
Her eyes scanned the courtyard again. It was now adorned with a crater, destroyed homes, and debris from the buildings. There were rocks everywhere, and Kya knew who the culprit was. Her eyes darted to Lin, whose face was wrought with pain and suffering. This was just another pile on her plate, but it’d truly been a while since one hurt. Tears streaming down her face, she clenched her fist and bent another boulder from the ground, preparing to launch it at Tenzin.
Before he even had a chance to access the damage done to his father’s home, Tenzin found himself again in a near-death situation. He quickly bent some air to slow down the rock flying towards him, while Kya used some bent ice from the nearby pond to cut it in half. She couldn’t help but feel a bit smug at Lin’s reactions, even if it meant the destruction of her family home. She smirked.
“Earthbending, huh?”
Lin wasn’t too receptive of her words. Kya had also left her, years ago, and showed no remorse for her selfish actions. In her anger, Lin bent a pillar and launched it towards Kya. She quickly bent some ice to something sharp and closed her eyes, ready to defend herself. She couldn’t believe Lin was attacking her as well, but as the pillar reached Kya, it stopped.
Her eyes opened to see Lin, her head bent forward, and her arm still outstretched from the launch, shaking. Kya saw the tears drop on the ground.
“I’m not very good at it...” Lin cried, then dropped her hand with the earth. She collapsed on the ground on all fours, almost begging in her speech.
“What did I mean to you?” she pleaded.
Kya didn’t know just who the question was directed to.
“I loved you, Lin, I really did,” Tenzin replied, a voice soft with slight remorse. “But rebuilding the Air Nation takes top priority-”
“Then why didn’t you tell me that years ago!? Why spend fifteen years playing with me if that was all you wanted?” She looked directly at him, fierce in her anger and determined to find the answers.
Tenzin was silent. He didn’t have an answer, and probably never would. Lin hung her head again.
“You could have at least told me, instead of just doing it,” she muttered. She stood up, and bent what she could back into place. She grunted as she made her exit, turning her head only to Kya.
“Happy Avatar’s Day. Glad to see you home.”
Kya wondered if the words were genuine. The regret of silent years lasted forever in the back of her mind.
~~~
They were fifty-two. She was fifty-five.
Kya had given up on red strings at this point. Blue was much more desirable.
She followed that blue string all the way to the southern reaches of the world, to the Southern Water Tribe, where she finally found a place to settle. She learned through taking care of her mother that being loose in the world was more harmful than she realized. She remembered the connections she made around the world, realizing they were deeper than she thought. She would make notes every day to contact and apologize to them.
When she realized she was grounded, Kya took love more seriously. She found someone to cherish and decided to make a life with her. They shared crescent moon necklaces, a visual indicator of their non-traditional lifestyles. Kya would protect hers greatly, even in her love’s death. They had been together for eleven years when the sickness took her. After a year of mourning, Kya decided during the Glacier Spirits Festival to finally reconnect with herself, and adventure again. This time, however, it would be with family, no matter how aggravating that would be.
She’d be lying if Lin didn’t creep into her thoughts on a constant basis, and with those thoughts came reminders of how Tenzin treated her. She eventually found something in her to forgive him (mostly because her nieces and nephews were so adorable), but couldn’t bring herself to do the “forget” part of forgiveness.
Forgiveness—it was still a new experience for Kya. She’d been apologizing her entire life, but didn’t realize she had no attachment to the words. When she realized the way she treated people was like picking petals off flowers, she didn’t expect them to apologize back. There was pain on both sides of a relationship, after all.
While over the course of twelve years Kya managed to knot old ties, she still couldn’t figure out how to reach Lin. Figuratively, of course, given Lin rarely left the city. She thought about her more and more since her wife died, wondering when it would be the right time.
She thought about this even when the “vacation” turned into something more dangerous. She had heard Lin was in Zaofu, reconnecting with Su (even she was amazed that Lin was taking steps), but didn’t think much of it. Or rather, she thought a ton about it, but pushed it to the back of her mind. She put all of her thoughts about Lin there as an alternative to forgetting.
She didn’t think the first time they’d see each other in twelve years would be when she was almost on her final breaths.
Kya awoke to find herself chained on the ground in a cave in who knows where. All she could remember was the barrage on the Eastern Air Temple, and being overtaken by that powerful, armless waterbender. She was barely conscious, even, but as she saw the guards being taken out, her eyes darted only to one person in the group.
Lin.
She fainted again, but was somewhat relieved that she was there.
The next time she woke up, she was back in Republic City, full of pain and confined to a bed. She clenched her ribs as she sat up, struggling to remember the journey that brought her there. She suddenly remembered everything, how she was shot down by that waterbender and that-
“Earthbending, huh?”
She looked up and saw Lin, smiling, in the doorway. She was shocked, confused, overwhelmed at just seeing her. Years of preparation and worrying, and wondering, could have never prepared Kya more for this moment. Twelve years, and once again, here was Lin. Kya started to swell up, and wiped her tears away as she smiled back.
“I’m not very good at it,” she responded, remembering their constant playful banter over the years. Lin walked over to her, sat on the bed, and grabbed her hand. It was like a fuse, almost exploding within Kya.
“I’m sorry,” Lin whispered. Kya wasn’t expecting those to be her first words.
“For what? I’m the one who should be apologizing,” Kya responded, using a bit too much energy in her delivery. She clenched her ribs in pain again, and Lin put another hand on her shoulder in reassurance. When the pain was gone, she spoke again, only inches from her face.
“I shouldn’t have left you,” she cried quietly. Lin put a hand on her cheek, wiping away the tears with her thumb.
“I shouldn’t have hurt you,” she responded. Her voice was so soft and genuine, an attribute long forgotten with Lin. She chuckled. “When I saw you there, on the ground, I didn’t think everything would rush back so... fast.”
“Near-death situations do that to you.” Kya laughed in response. She smiled a put a hand on Lin’s scarred face.
She looked at her, and remembered. The red string she tried so hard to destroy was pulling at her heart, rhythmically to a beat. Lin looked at her too, and a wave of emotions overtook her soul, realizing her choices, and the mistakes made over time.
Before she realized it, Lin kissed her. It was quick, a millisecond. But for both of them, it meant years of repressed emotions, confirmed in a moment.
As they opened their eyes, they smiled at each other, awaiting the time they could spend catching up over the lost years. Kya laughed as she grabbed a small lock of Lin’s hair.
“You’re almost as grey as me.” she joked. Lin took Kya’s hand and held it close on her cheek.
“Looks like I was just in time then.” she said softly, and for the first time in decades, it was shy, no force. Lin put her forehead against Kya’s, and they stayed there, once again simply enjoying each other’s breath.
“Nothing is ever too late,” Kya replied. “You still have to teach me earthbending, after all.”
Lin smiled.
And this smile lasted, until there were no more days left to give.
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