Archive of Our Own

Firestar apprentices Dovepaw to Lionblaze.

Her heart falls.

Jayfeather is sitting to one side, like he is waiting for one of them. But not Dovepaw.

Lionblaze looks concerned when they touch noses, but says nothing, and Dovepaw tries to seem like she’s excited. It wouldn’t be fair to him. But still, when she sits next to them, her tail wraps tightly around her paws, and she wants to know why she wasn’t good enough.

Firestar apprentices Ivypaw to Cinderheart.

Dovepaw’s heart soars.

This isn’t the end.

“Are you upset Jayfeather didn’t pick one of us?”

Dovepaw flicks her tail, noncommittal. “He’ll make the right choice eventually. No use worrying.”

Ivypaw sighs. “You’re right. I guess it’s good that he’s taking his time. I just…thought he would have known.”

“He’s probably just waiting for a sign, or something. StarClan knows what to do.”

The certainty with which Dovepaw speaks is unnerving. How is she so calm? Ivypaw knows she wants the position just as badly.

“We just have to wait it out.”

Ivypaw nods, but it’s slowed by understanding. Dovepaw isn’t worried because she thinks it will be her. There’s no chance Jayfeather would choose Ivypaw in her eyes.

Ivypaw sighs. Dovepaw — for all her reserved nature — rarely remembers to look outside herself. Ivypaw doesn’t want to fight about this, so she lets it go, but she knows she has a fair chance.

She has to. She wants it just as badly as Dovepaw.

Her dream clings to her tongue like the taste of blood. It’s important: she can feel it in the marrow of her bones. Where she knows her name, she knows this dream is real and true and essential.

Dovepaw quivers.

She has to tell Jayfeather.

Hopping over Ivypaw, careful to keep her tail from dragging over her sister’s face, she scrambles out of the den, giving herself a single shake to — hopefully — resolve the worst of the strange sleep shapes in her fur. Camp is quiet at this hour, with the dawn patrol still making their way through territory, and others still sleeping, but Dovepaw taste the soft morning air, the birds singing out in with the barely-risen sun, and is set with purpose.

Scanning camp, she finds Jayfeather busied in conversation with Cinderheart. The two had grown closer since Ivypaw was apprenticed to her, or Dovepaw was just more aware. Now with a target, she sprints through camp.

“Jayfeather!”

His ears instantly tilt towards her.

“Jayfeather! I had a vision!”

“So…how do we find her?”

Jayfeather and Lionblaze are both looking at her, and Dovepaw shrugs, and then.

There’s a tugging in her paws, like walking back to camp, and she knows.

“We go that way.”

Lionblaze glances at Jayfeather, and Jayfeather’s tail swings.

“Lead on,” Lionblaze says. “StarClan sent you the prophecy.”

Ivypaw wakes up, her dream rich in her memory, leaving her mouth filled with the heavy taste of marrow.

StarClan chose her.

“That crouch looks good,” Cinderheart comments. “You’re looking good, Ivypaw.”

“I haven’t caught anything.”

“It takes time.” Cinderheart bumps her shoulders with her. “We’ll get you there, don’t worry. I wasn’t trained by the best tracker in ThunderClan just to become a terrible hunter.”

“Dovepaw caught something.”

“Lucky catch. Happens.”

Ivypaw sighs. “And she was chosen by StarClan.”

“And you were chosen by me to focus on actually hunting.” Cinderheart swats her ear. “Show me a practice, then we’ll go scent out something real.”

Ivypaw squares herself off. SHe can do this. She just won’t think about Dovepaw’s stupid prophecy or how she hasn’t caught anything or—”

“Focus,” Cinderheart reminds her.

“How am I supposed to show Jayfeather I’m the right choice if he’s not even here?”

“We’ll just have to find something Flamepaw will have to tell him about.”

Hawkfrost licks Ivypaw’s head. Dovepaw head a funny dream, and the whole Clan is cooing over her, but Ivypaw can handle that.

What she can’t handle is no chance.

“Don’t fret,” Hawkfrost says. “We have plenty of time to find something.”

With Dovepaw gone, Cinderheart takes her out with the older three apprentices. They were close in the nursery, and they share a den, but Ivypaw’s felt left out. She started her training after them, and when Dovepaw was here, there were always two distinct units.

Now, though, they freely weave her into their group.

“You’re my favorite sparring partner,” Briarpaw declares, as they share tongues in the evening.

Bumblepaw snorts. “Because she’s new, and you can beat her?”

“No. Have you fought her? She’s good! I’m just tired of the two of you making everything a competition.”

“Sparring is literally a competition,” Ivypaw says. She feels a sharp stab of anxiety, but then her words land, and the group giggles.

“Cold,” Briarpaw says, masquerading as hurt. “Right after I said you were my favorite.”

“You’re my favorite,” Ivypaw offers.

Briarpaw purrs.

As they get closer to the city, Dovepaw finds that Jayfeather and Lionblaze’s conversations grow terser. Only when they think she’s asleep — Jayfeather lays his tail over her, like he’s sleeping with her in the nursery again, and when she makes her breathing as still as possible, they speak in hushed tones.

“Do you think it’s her?” Lionblaze asks.

“You heard the description.”

“I just…thought she’d be dead by now.”

“We’ll find out.” Jayfeather’s tail curls protectively on Dovepaw’s flank. “No use worrying it until we get there.”

“What’s another herb for fever?”

Ivypaw shuts her eyes, trying to remember. “Uh…borage?”

“Very good. You’re a fast learner.”

Ivypaw can’t help but purr.

“Alright, next on review: infection.”

“Marigold and…horsetail?”

“Excellent. Sweet sedge — well, keep that one between us. It’s a RiverClan specialty.”

“What’s it look like?”

“I’ll show you. Fair warning, though — I don’t think it grows in ThunderClan.”

Ivypaw follows after him. “What’s the point of knowing it, then?”

“If you’re in a pinch, you know who to ask for help. Or — well, Ivypaw, I can’t advocate for theft against my Clan, but you understand.”

Her eyes widen. “I’d never!”

“Even if it was to save your Clanmate’s life? Even that Briarpaw you like so much?”

Ivypaw swallows.

“Not so sure, hm? Never say never, Ivypaw. You have no idea what a cat would do with enough motivation.”

She feels her heart pound.

“Your duty to your Clanmates always comes first,” Hawkfrost says. “Do not forget that.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.” Hawkfrost eyes bore deep into her. “There is no greater virtue than loyalty.”

They’ve been in the city for a few days when Dovepaw sees her. She knows, with perfect certainty, that it is the cat they’ve been looking for. “That’s her,” she says, as the cat sprints across the Thunderpath.

Lionblaze doesn’t respond right away.

“That’s her,” Dovepaw repeats. “Just like I saw.”

“Are you certain?” he asks, his voice pale and thin.

“I’d know her anywhere.”

“What’s the hold up?” Jayfeather asks. “Dovepaw saw her; she saw her.”

“No – Jayfeather, she looks exactly like what we expected.” Lionblaze puts extra weight on the we, like it carries meaning it doesn’t for Dovepaw. The fur on Jayfeather’s back stands up, his tail lashing straight and bushy.

“You’re sure it was her?” Jayfeather asks, the words spat through gritted teeth.

Dovepaw nods. “Yes. Yeah – yeah, it was her.” Jayfeather is going to be her mentor when they return; she has to get in the habit of verbally responding.

“So that’s that,” Jayfeather says. “We’ll find her tomorrow.”

“There’s plenty of light,” Dovepaw says, but Jayfeather scowls.

“We’ll find her tomorrow.”

Hawkfrost tilts his chin up. “I’ve word,” he says. “There’s going to be a battle with ShadowClan.”

Ivypaw furrows her brow. “How could you know that?”

“It’s my job to know the unknowable.” Hawkfrost purrs. “So, firefly, here’s how you’re going to make it seem like a vision.”

She nods, then catches herself. “Isn’t this a vision?”

“Flamepaw might be suspicious if you mention me specifically. It’ll seem unbelievably odd, and Firestar might not act. We’ll just come up with a dream more like what we would’ve sent Jayfeather, if he wasn’t on a fool’s errand with Dovepaw.”

“I had a dream.”

Flamepaw looks unimpressed. “You and half the Clan. Unless it was a nightmare—”

“No, like a vision dream.”

He stops what he’s doing, looking up at her. “Ivypaw, I know your sister—”

“Please listen to me. I swear I’m not making things up for attention.”

“A battle? Are you certain?”

Ivypaw nods. “It might as well have been told to me.”

Firestar looks unconvinced. “Flamepaw? Have you heard anything?”

The tom shifts, clearly uncomfortable. “I would hardly expect the stars to give me an omen against my home.” He licks his shoulder. “What Ivypaw says is reasonable. You’ll have to decide on your own if you trust her.”

“Fair enough.” Firestar closes his eyes, and Ivypaw finds herself leaning in, as if she can hear what he’s thinking if she gets close enough.

Please let him believe me, she prays. You spoke to me. Please don’t abandon me.

“I am unwilling to anger ShadowClan at the moment,” Firestar says, and her heart sinks. “But if the stars will it, it must be done.”

It takes everything Ivypaw has not to shriek with delight.

Dovepaw stares at her one white paw and green eyes and black fur.

This is the cat.

“Hollypaw?” Jayfeather asks, his voice frayed and cracking with emotion. “Is that really you?”

This is the her, Dovepaw realizes. Someone they knew.

“It was true.”

“Of course it was true. StarClan told me.”

Firestar appraises her. “I believed you,” he says. “That doesn’t mean I wanted it to be true.” He sighs. “I’m sure Flamepaw will tell Jayfeather, but so will I. Regardless of…battles are never good, but you won’t go unrecognized.”

Cinderheart lies next to her. “It’s normal to be afraid,” she says. “Remember, Ivypaw. You’re a very new apprentice. Normally, you wouldn’t even be on a patrol like that.”

“Dovepaw’s on a quest.”

“The stars have different paths for us all.” She starts to groom Ivypaw. “You are just as good as your sister.”

StarClan sent me a vision, Ivypaw thinks. And Dovepaw lied to get a quest, but all I get is bloodshed.

“I think I’m jealous.”

“Becoming a seer is a grave responsibility. I…” Cinderheart sighs. “Has anyone told you about Holly?”

Ivypaw shakes her head.

“She was nearly a seer,” Cinderpelt says. “But she was a thief, and then she was exiled.”

“Good!”

Cinderheart shakes her head. “She was exiled, but all her family, her friends? We were all left here, without her. Dovepaw isn’t like that—” but she is , Ivypaw thinks, something gnawing at her “—but it’s important to remember if Jayfeather does choose her, there’s much more to this than just memorizing herbs and speaking with our ancestors. There’s a code.”

“Very good work,” Hawkfrost says. “I’ll eat your ears if Flamepaw doesn’t tell Jayfeather.”

“My ears?”

Hawkfrost purrs. “Ivy, I can’t exactly eat my own ears. Besides, I rather like yours. I’ve every interest in protecting them.”

Ivypaw giggles. “You better. I can’t listen to you without them.”

“And then where would we be?” He jostles her. “Let’s go to my den and get some practice in, but you really have nothing to worry about.”

“Didn’t you know who we were looking for?” Dovepaw asks, curled in a nest next to Lionblaze and Jayfeather. Holly has retreated, but not without telling Jayfeather under no circumstances was he to treat anyone without asking her. “Didn’t you — how many black she-cats with green eyes and one white paw can there be?”

“You never know,” Jayfeather says, but Lionblaze sighs.

“We hadn’t seen her for years,” he says, licking Dovepaw’s head. “How’d you…” He takes a breath. “If it was Ivypaw, how’d you feel?”

Jayfeather will pick her, because she’s the right choice, and she won’t let her sister get exiled.

“You seem tired,” Cinderheart reamrks. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Not great,” Ivypaw admits.

“Is it the battle?” Cinderheart purrs, licking Ivypaw’s shoulder. “If that’s—”

“It was just a rough night.” Ivypaw tries to perk up and seem reassuring. “I’m fine, I promise.”

“It’s okay if you’re not.”

“I know. But really, I am.”

Cinderheart seems unconvinced, but ultimately sighs. “Alright. Well, let’s have an easy day, then.”

“I don’t need that.”

“Shame you’re not the mentor.” Cinderheart nuzzles her cheek. “Besides, we can’t have you getting too far ahead of that sister of yours. Lionblaze will claw my ears off.”

Ivypaw’s whiskers twitch, an idea forming. “I think I’ll sleep better if we work hard.”

(“Soak up all the training they give you,” Hawkfrost says. “Seeming lazy won’t endear Jayfeather to you, and…it never hurts to know how to defend yourself.”)

“You’ve cornered me,” Cinderheart says. “Very well. An extra hard day of training it is.”

“It’s interesting that you had a vision,” Flamepaw comments. “Has this happened before?”

She nods.

“Hm. I wonder why Jayfeather didn’t mention it.”

“I’m not lying!”

“I didn’t say you were.” Flamepaw studies her. “Well, it’s not my problem. You’re just an interesting mystery.”

“When do you think Dovepaw is coming back?”

“Am I such terrible company?” Briarpaw rolls on her back, blinking slowly at Ivypaw, her hazel eyes golden in the light.

“I didn’t say that!” Ivypaw sighs. “I just miss her.”

“I’m just teasing. I’d miss Blossom and Bumble.”

When they get back to ThunderClan, Dovepaw lets Lionblaze explain. She’s still worried about Holly, but Jayfeather said he would take care of it.

Ivypaw is waiting to see her, and if it weren’t for the circle of cats that formed around them, Dovepaw would be running to her. This was the first time they were apart for any real amount of time, and she hadn’t realized how much she would miss her.

“Jayfeather is bringing her back,” Lionblaze repeats. “They’re just a little behind us.” He’s been careful to leave out who Jayfeather is bringing back, and Dovepaw’s tail twitches anxiously. What if ThunderClan doesn’t believe her? What if they don’t think StarClan would send for an exile? What if Holly hasn’t changed?

Lionblaze touches his nose to her shoulder. “It’ll be alright, Dovepaw,” he whispers. “You’ve done well.”

She nods, pricking her ears, trying to mask her worries. Ivypaw is watching her closely, and Dovepaw does perk up, just meeting her sister’s eyes.

StarClan chose Holly, just like they chose Dovepaw to find her. Jayfeather agrees. ThunderClan will learn to understand.

Dovepaw leaves for a moon and comes back with an exile in tow. Ivypaw doesn’t care what Dovepaw or Jayfeather say, Holly is dangerous.

“Look at the state of this,” Hawkfrost says when she dreams, his head shaking sadly. “They’re manipulating him — Ivypaw, I need you to promise me something.”

“Of course,” she says, meeting his eyes. He searches her for sincerity, worry pulling his ears and whiskers back.

“Promise — no matter what — that you won’t let them know about this.”

“But—”

“I know,” Hawkfrost soothes. “I know what our plan was. But Ivypaw, it’s just not safe. Dovepaw might be your littermate, but Holly is an exile. What if something happens to you?”

This isn’t supposed to go like this. When Dovepaw returned, Hawkfrost and Ivypaw would reveal that she was a false prophet, instating Ivypaw as the true seer. Dovepaw had to be revealed before she learned Jayfeather’s secrets, but how could she, if her mission appeared to be a success? Ivypaw had to do what was best for ThunderClan, but she couldn’t even picture Dovepaw being exiled.

“Don’t worry,” Hawkfrost soothes. “We’ll come up with a way to buy time.”

“What do you think she got exiled for?”

Ivypaw pauses, considering Holly. Unlike Dovepaw, she avoids the exile at all costs. She knows Firestar says they’re supposed to treat her like any other member of ThunderClan, but — she’s not like any other member. She did something bad, and Ivypaw can’t just trust her.

“She only really talks to Lionblaze and Brambleclaw,” Blossompaw says.

“I heard she was Brambleclaw’s daughter,” Briarpaw adds.

“Where’d you hear that?”

“Overheard Brambleclaw and Greystripe talking.” Briarpaw licks her paw. “And she was exiled as an apprentice.”

“How does an apprentice even get exiled?”

“Maybe she betrayed ThunderClan,” Ivypaw says. “Maybe she was working with an enemy Clan.”

Blossompaw’s nose scrunches up. “Why’d Firestar let her her back, then?”

“It’s not like it makes sense for him to let her back anyway,” Ivypaw says. “She was exiled for a reason.”

“It is my great regret,” Hawkfrost says, “that Willowshine’s training was so distasteful.”

“Didn’t the other seers finish it?”

“Yes, but…well, I can’t make you a seer of ThunderClan. The Clans all have their secrets, and it wouldn’t be right for anyone but Jayfeather to show you. And so it went for my dear Willowshine.”

“But Jayfeather isn’t going to die. He’s young.”

“I’d envy your optimism, but I assure you, I died only a little older than him.”

Cowed, Ivypaw dips her head. “It’s just hard to imagine.”

“I know,” Hawkfrost soothes. “But that’s why we must.”

“You really think this is all that urgent?”

“I really, really do.” He licks her shoulder. “You know I want what’s best for you.”

“I know.” She sighs. “Can we go over some more herbs? I think I need a break from all of this heavy stuff.”

Hawkfrost gives her another lick. “‘Course we can. Remind me where we left off?”

Dovepaw meets Tigerheart at the Gathering after they bring Holly back. It’s a passing moment of connection, nothing more, but it makes her heart flip over.

Jayfeather flicks his tail tip to her back. “Don’t be nervous,” he soothes.

She feels flush. If he could see her, he’d know why her heart was racing.

She needs to talk to him.

“I’m going — I’m going to try to meet some cats,” she says.

Jayfeather purrs. “You know where I’ll be, and Lionblaze should be easy enough to find.” He waves her off, and Dovepaw slips through the crowds, coming up to the tom.

“Tigerheart, we’ve got company,” a she-cat purrs. “You must be new.”

“Dovepaw,” she says. “Of ThunderClan. I’m trying to get acquainted with everyone.”

The tom — Tigerheart — purrs, his expression open and friendly. “Not a lot of apprentices would approach warriors like that.”

“We’re barely warriors,” the she-cat says. “But still.”

“I’m trying to make friends,” Dovepaw says. “Why limit myself?”

“Ivypaw!” Jayfeather’s voice flags her down, and Ivypaw trots over to him. “Can you bring Holly prey? She’ll try to stand if someone doesn’t, and she’ll hurt herself worse that way.”

Ivypaw’s lip curls at the idea of speaking with the exile, and she’s grateful that Jayfeather can’t see the face she’s making.

“Don’t be like that,” he chastises. “One conversation with her won’t kill you. Besides, she’s my sister. I promise she’s not that bad.”

Of course you think that.

“I’ll bring something by,” she says.

“Thank you.” Jayfeather licks the top of her head, then gives a few short rasps over her flank.

“I’m not a kit!” she says. “You can’t even see me.”

“I know you’re an apprentice,” he says. “Okay, go on.”

He distracted her for a moment, but the task still looms. Hawkfrost wants her to have as little to do with Holly for a reason. But she can’t fail a task for Jayfeather if she wants to convince him she’s his rightful apprentice.

Grabbing a mouse from the freshkill pile, she hurries to Holly’s den. The sooner she’s done with this, the better. Holly looks up when she enters, her green eyes narrow with frustration.

“Here.”

“Thank you.”

Ivypaw rocks away from her. She doesn’t want to be unnecessarily rude, in case Holly says something to Jayfeather, but she doesn’t want to make this conversation a heartbeat longer than it has to be.

“Jayfeather told me to.” She looks over her shoulder, hoping there’s someone to call her away. “I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.” Maybe Holly will thank her brother and not focus on Ivypaw. Instead, Holly’s whiskers draw back with irritation. The undue hostility grates on Ivypaw. “I know what you’re doing,” she says, unable to keep herself quiet. “Everyone else thinks you’re harmless, but I know the truth.”

Her tail stiff with the sudden jolt she’s managed to fail all her goals — she’s attracted Holly’s attention and likely angered her — Ivypaw spins, leaving the den before she can say anything else.

“Alright,” Hawkfrost says. “I’m not…StarClan doesn’t give out omens every day for a reason, Ivypaw. As much as I want to make sure Jayfeather makes the right choice — for your sake, not just for ThunderClan — we need to make sure you don’t disrupt the balance.”

Ivypaw narrows her eyes. “But if I’m the right choice, shouldn’t I be getting omens?”

Hawkfrost flicks his tail. “We’ve talked about this, Ivypaw. Seers—”

“Can’t just sit around waiting for StarClan, I know.”

“I can’t teach you how ThunderClan divines,” Hawkfrost says, “so I’m not sure what Jayfeather will teach you.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?” she growls, rising to her feet. “You won’t give me omens, I can’t divine anything unless Jayfeather teaches me, so I’m stuck as he dotes on Dovepaw!”

“Patience,” Hawkfrost says, tilting his ears. She sits back down, wrapping her tail tightly around her paws. “I didn’t say I’d send you no omens. I just said we have to be careful. We don’t want…”

“What?”

Hawkfrost sighs. “It’s nothing, dewdrop. I just…sometimes seers who commune with StarClan often are hailed as false prophets.”

She wrinkles her nose. When she asks a question he doesn’t want to answer, Hawkfrost has a habit of slipping into a riddling tone like the crows of lore. “What’re you trying to say?” she asks, jabbing her paw forward for emphasis.

“I don’t want you to get accused of making things up,” Hawkfrost says. “I don’t want anyone to doubt your authenticity.”

“But if I’m the right choice—”

“The Clan has to accept you, Ivypaw.” Hawkfrost licks his paw, running it over his ear. “I was born a loner, you know.”

“Really?”

“Yes. It was an uproar when Mudfur chose me as his apprentices, and the Clan never truly accepted me. It made things far harder than they needed to be, and I don’t want that for you.”

He touches his nose to hers. “I’m trying to help you, Ivypaw. I’m not going to leave you with the pike’s tail, but we have to be careful about it. Especially since Jayfeather is leaning towards Dovepaw — someone might thing you’re seeking attention.”

Hawkfrost stands, and she follows him to a patch of muddy ground. He extends one claw, dragging it through the dirt.

“There’s a small stream that runs through your territory,” he says. “It dries up entirely sometimes, but it should be running now. Tomorrow, I want you to fetch a scrap of mallow from it.”

She wrinkles her brow. “Mallow is the one with…fuzzy leaves?”

“Right.”

“But why am I supposed to bring just a piece back?”

“I’m getting there.” Hawkfrost flicks his tail up, over her nose, teasing her. “It will rain that night, and you’ll ‘find’ the scrap of mallow in a puddle, and tell Jayfeather that you think you saw an omen.”

He purrs. “He should be surprised you had the foresight to know it wasn’t just a random leaf, and he’ll be happy to find the mallow.”

“But…isn’t that lying? I’m making up an omen.”

“I told you, Ivypaw. StarClan can only send so many omens. But I’m telling you to do all of this. It counts — or at least, it’s not lying.”

She narrows her eyes. “You’re…sure this isn’t bad?”

“‘Course not, Ivy. I want you to be chosen, after all.”

“I’ll do it.”

He purrs harder, brushing temples with her. “That’s the spirit. You’re waking up, but remember — hide the mallow well, so it doesn’t get found beforehand. StarClan is with you.”

“Ivypaw? Where are you going?”

She flinches. “Just for a walk, Cinderheart.”

Cinderheart studies her, and Ivypaw tries to come across as confident. She’s not doing anything wrong, she reminds herself. StarClan told her to do this. Cinderheart’s whiskers twitch, and Ivypaw catches her glance back at Jayfeather’s den. “Alright,” Cinderheart says. “But be back by sunhigh. I was going to take you out hunting.”

“I will,” Ivypaw promises, slipping out of camp without further interruption. If Cinderheart reports this to Jayfeather, Ivypaw hopes he understands. She’s not shirking her duties.

Dovepaw has been.

Ivypaw creeps through the undergrowth, trying not to disturb anything. Dovepaw could be a good warrior — and she’ll have to learn how eventually — but she doesn’t try. It’s infuriating to watch her practically brush Lionblaze off, knowing she’s…

Ivypaw sighs. Hawkfrost seems certain that Dovepaw and Holly are lying to everyone, but Ivypaw’s not convinced Dovepaw is in on it. Her sister might be an arrogant furball who can’t see good sense, but she’s not malicious. She’d never try to hurt ThunderClan. Holly must be deceiving Dovepaw.

A twig cracks under her paw, and she curls her lip in frustration. She’s not stalking anything, but she still messed up. Shaking it off, Ivypaw keeps going, giving up the pretense of stealth.

The days are long and hot, and she can feel the sun, even through the underbrush. She hopes it does rain tonight, because the forest could use cooling off.

Ivypaw hops over a few rocks, coming to the stream Hawkfrost mentioned. Last time she was here, it was just a dry tract of dirt, but a happy gurgle of water runs through it, plants sprung up on the sides.

She tears a leaf off the mallow, trying her best to make sure it doesn’t look like a cat took it, and then pauses.

She hasn’t considered how she’d bring it back to camp.

Ivypaw searches her surroundings. She can’t just bring random leaves into camp, and disguising it in prey wouldn’t help her get it into the apprentices’ den. Holding the whole thing in her mouth might ruin it, so she’ll have to find some other way.

Raking her claws through the ground in frustration, Ivypaw hisses softly. “You could’ve just given me an omen,” she mutters. Hawkfrost probably isn’t listening, but this is a lot more work.

But it’s work that’s worth it. Ivypaw notices a blanket of moss covering the roots of a nearby tree and scrapes it up. She might get stuck remaking a bunch of nests, but it’ll hide the mallow and give her a chance to actually get it into her nest.

I’m the rightful seer, she reminds herself. I just need to make sure Jayfeather sees it.

Dovepaw slips out of her nest. It’s the middle of the night, and it’s pouring rain, but she can’t help but tremble with excitement.

Tigerheart agreed to meet with her.

She can’t believe he did — that he took her awkward half-formed suggestion and ran with it — but he did, and that means she’ll sneak out of camp in a hurricane.

Luckily, it’s just rain.

Dovepaw snakes through the back entrance to camp, scaling the wall out of the gorge with ease. She actually practiced this a few nights ago, just to make sure she could do it.

Now, she sprints towards where they agreed to meet, her ears pressed flat against her skull to keep out the rain.

The moon is covered in clouds, so she doesn’t know what time it is, but she doesn’t want him to go home. Her fur is soaked, plastered to her sides, and she can barely smell the forest, but still, she runs. No one else is awake at this hour, so she doesn’t worry about the noise she’s kicking up, just races towards the ShadowClan border.

He’s there.

“Dovepaw!” Tigerheart calls. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

“You came.”

“It’s not every day an apprentice in another Clan asks you to break the code,” he teases. “Besides, any excuse to get out of camp, right?”

Dovepaw grimaces. He doesn’t know the half of it.

“Yeah,” she agrees. “I needed a break.”

“Is that why you asked me to meet with you?”

“I just had a feeling,” she admits. “I had a sense we’d get along.” Tigerheart furrows his brow, and Dovepaw bites her lip, then divulges, “I have good instincts. StarClan…”

“StarClan told you to meet me, did they?” He’s grinning, his eyes alight. “I’ll be sure to explain that to Blackstar, if we get caught.”

Dovepaw snorts. “Tell them to ask Jayfeather. He’ll back me up.”

“Aren’t you a warrior?” Her whiskers fold in, and the teasing note in his voice turns to sympathy. “Sore spot?”

“It’s just complicated.” Dovepaw wrinkles her nose. “My sister…”

“You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to,” Tigerheart says. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

“I’m a warrior right now. I want to be a seer, but Jayfeather won’t pick me.”

Tigerheart’s tail touches her paw. “That’s frustrating. Flametail would’ve torn out his pelt.”

“It is what it is. And…I never could’ve met you if he had already taken me. Jayfeather’s the lightest sleeper I know.” Her ears unfold a bit at the memories of Ivykit constantly trying to escape him, only for him to wake and drag her back into the nest.

She’s been the better choice since they were kits, she thinks with no small amount of irritation.

“I guess that’s one way of looking at it,” Tigerheart says. There’s a gust of wind, and Dovepaw shivers as it sinks straight into her skin, without the usual disruption of her fur. Tigerheart gives her a sympathetic look. “We should get out of the rain.”

“And I suppose you have a magic den we can hide in?”

“No, but…” Tigerheart squints up. She catches his tail twist, and realizes he’s trying to locate the moon. “Well, I guess we probably have time for me to show you.”

He stands, stretching out, and beckons her to follow him. Dovepaw brushes shoulders, eager to avoid the cold, and he walks towards the edge of Clan territories.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see. Stop being impatient.”

“You’re dragging me off to who-knows-where. I’m allowed to be curious.”

“I’m dragging you, am I?” Tigerheart brushes his tail against her back. “I think you’re following me.”

“You invited me.”

“You chose to come.”

Dovepaw rolls her eyes, even though she can’t see. “Just hurry up. I have to go back to camp before anyone notices.”

“And I don’t?”

“No, but you’re a warrior. You can make up an excuse. Everyone’s been watching me and Ivypaw so closely lately.”

Tigerheart doesn’t say anything in response, but he brushes his tail over her back again.

“We’re almost there,” he says. “Can you see it?”

She squints. There’s a frame rising, and as they get closer, she realizes it’s a Twoleg den.

“It’s abandoned,” he explains. “If we knew it was going to rain, I would’ve suggested we meet here, so we didn’t waste the whole night getting here.”

“It wasn’t a waste.”

Tigerheart points his tail at the horizon. There’s a sliver of moonlight at the edge, and while no sunlight has broken through the clouds, dawn can’t be far off.

“We’d probably have spent more time out of the rain if we had just stayed put…”

“It’s fine.” Dovepaw shakes, just to get her pelt to fluff out a bit. It’ll be a cold walk back to camp by herself. “Walking with you was nice.”

Tigerheart purrs. “It was nice.”

“We should meet again.” The words leap out of Dovepaw’s mouth before she’s thought them through, and she tenses, hoping she’s not overstepping or being strange.

“Sure.” Tigerheart yawns, shaking out himself. “Preferrably when the weather isn’t so bad. Put a good word with StarClan in, won’t you?”

Dovepaw wrinkles her nose. “I’ll do my best,” she says. “No promises.”

“Meet me where we met before…four days from now? That should be enough to avoid suspicion.”

Dovepaw nods. “If it’s raining, meet up here.”

Tigerheart’s whiskers twitch. “I can’t wait.”

They separate, vanishing into their own territories as the rain begins to stop.

Ivypaw wakes at dawn. The rain has stopped, although the air is still damp and hazy.

Dovepaw’s nest is empty and cold, but she doesn’t have time to think about that. If anyone sees her place the mallow, the whole game is up — and she risks exile.

The idea makes her shudder.

But StarClan is on her side. They won’t let her be exiled for something they told her to do.

She takes a breath, then digs the leaf out of her nest. Blossompaw is gone, but Briarpaw and Bumblepaw are asleep, Briarpaw tucked neatly in a ball while Bumblepaw is sprawled across the empty space at the back of the den.

Ivypaw peers out at camp. Brackenfur is sitting guard, but he’s focused on the tunnel. She finds a puddle, and remembers Hawkfrost’s instructions.

She can do this. It’s for the good of ThunderClan. She’s the right choice, and Dovepaw is spending time with an exile who’s corrupting her. Ivypaw needs to fix this before someone gets hurt.

She puts the mallow in the puddle, and scampers to Jayfeather’s den. He’s already up and fiddling with a pile of acorns, but as soon as she steps in, he turns to her.

“Ivypaw? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. I…um…it’s hard to explain.”

Jayfeather’s ears tilt towards her, and his tail starts to twitch, the way it always does when he’s concentrated. “Do your best.”

“There’s, um…I woke up, and I went out, and there’s this…well, I don’t know what it is, but I feel like it’s important? It’s a leaf in a puddle.”

His tail slows. “Show me.”

Ivypaw nods, leading him to the puddle. The mallow is still there, floating happily. She sends a silent prayer that Jayfeather doesn’t realize what she’s done — it’s been in her nest all night, and Jayfeather has one of the strongest noses in the Clan.

“There’s…something strange in this puddle.”

Jayfeather fishes the leaf out, running his paw over it and sniffing.

Ivypaw waits for him to say something.

He touches his nose to it.

“Water is…oh!” He brightens. “Thank you, Ivypaw. This was very helpful.”

“Was it…an omen?”

“I’ll need to see. But I think so.” Jayfeather leans forward, then touches noses, and Ivypaw purrs.

It’s not a prophecy and quest, but it’s a start.

By the time she’s reached ThunderClan, it’s past dawn. Dovepaw groans, casting about for an excuse.

She couldn’t sleep, she decided to take a walk.

Hopefully Ivypaw slept late enough the lie will pass.

Squaring her shoulders, she walks straight past Brackenfur.

“Where were you?” he asks.

“I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a walk.”

Brackenfur sighs. “Apprentices and their walks,” he mutters.

Dovepaw ignores him, slipping into her den. No one else is asleep, and Blossompaw grimaces.

“You’re soaked.”

“I know.”

“You’re going to flood our nests,” she grumbles. “Dry off first.”

“Who put you in charge?” Dovepaw snaps. The excitement of seeing Tigerheart has worn off, replaced with exhaustion. She barely slept before she left, worried about sleeping through and eager to see him. She hasn’t really slept since last sunhigh, and she feels it.

“Ignore Blososmpaw,” Bumblepaw says, blinking at Dovepaw. “She’s just upset she had to go on the dawn patrol.”

She blinks back, grateful, curling up tightly in her nest. Ivypaw might yell at her for getting both nests soaked, but she can survive Ivypaw being mad at her, and she’s too tired to care that she’ll wake up covered in knots from sleeping with wet fur.

”Dovepaw!” someone hisses.

She groans, blinking open her eyes.

“Let’s go!” Lionblaze says. “You’re supposed to be training.”

Dovepaw yawns, then streches back. “Now?”

“No, tomorrow,” he snaps. “Yes, now!”

She slips out of the den, and Lionblaze sighs. “Dovepaw, it’s practically sunhigh.”

It’s barely past low sun, but the point is made. “I’m sorry,” she says, blinking a few times. “I had a rough night.”

“I can tell.” He gives her side a few licks. “Let’s get going before Whitewing sees.”

Dovepaw follows him out to the Training Hollow, then sits, beginning to groom herself, but keeping her eyes on Lionblaze.

“Cinderheart and I were going to go over partner fighting with you and Ivypaw,” he says. “But they finished a while ago.”

Dovepaw’s ears fold back. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to sleep in.”

Lionblaze sighs. “That’s not the point, Dovepaw.” He closes his eyes for a moment. “Well, instead of that, let’s just review the basics. You need to work on them.”

Dovepaw resists the urge to roll her eyes. She has as much use for fighting as she does anything Lionblaze tries to teach her, which is to say, as soon as Jayfeather realizes she’s stars-chosen, none. But disrespecting her mentor — and Jayfeather’s brother — will win her no favors, so she holds it in.

Barely.

“Okay,” Lionblaze says. “Why don’t you just…come at me?”

“Just — attack you?”

“Exactly. I want to see how you do at putting everything we’ve been working on together.”

Dovepaw sighs, rolling her shoulders a few times. She backs up, circling around Lionblaze. It feels odd to have to attack a standing target — usually, Ivypaw or one of the other apprentices faces off with her, both waiting for their opportunity to strike. Dovepaw’s better at defense.

“We don’t have all day,” Lionblaze calls, although it sounds more teasing than serious.”

Tilting her ears back, Dovepaw backs to the edge of the hollow, then leaps at Lionblaze.

It takes him no more than a breath to pin her to the ground.

“This isn’t fair,” she groans. “You’re one of the best fighters in the Clan.”

“And you are approaching your second season of training. I don’t expect you to win, but you’re being sloppy.”

She picks herself up, shaking some of the dust off. “What am I supposed to do better, then?”

“Use your head.” Lionblaze taps her forehead with his paw, just slightly more force than necessary, and she wrinkles her nose automatically. “Do you really think you can take me down just by jumping on me?”

She shakes her head.

“Right. So — what should you do instead?”

Dovepaw flicks her tail. “I don’t know.” Has he shown her this? Is it a test of memory, or of her ability to think on her feet? She takes a deep breath. He has to see her trying, or he’ll speak poorly of her. “If I wasn’t alone—”

“But you are alone.”

She glares at him. “I’m thinking. Let me think.”

Lionblaze tilts his ears slightly, surrendering.

“If I wasn’t alone, we could flank you. I can’t do that by myself, but…”

Dovepaw launches herself at Lionblaze’s forelegs. She’s got enough force that he has to take a few skittering steps to the side, and by the time he’s turned to face her, she’s already drawn back, poised to leap again.

“Good,” Lionblaze says. “What now?”

He stays in the position he was before, giving her time to think. She can’t pull the same trick twice — surprise probably gave her an advantage anyway.

Dovepaw’s tail droops.

“I don’t know.”

“Are you sure?” Lionblaze raises an eyebrow, confident she could find a solution, but Dovepaw nods. She relaxes out of the fighting stance.

“I can’t think of anything to do.”

Lionblaze looks disappointed. “That’s alright. In the future, you could’ve…” Lionblaze’s brow furrows, like he’s as stuck as her. It’s not her fault Firestar gave her a mentor who was so much larger than her. Lionblaze has probably always had the size advantage. “You know, I’ll have to talk to Cinderheart.” He steps forward, licking her head. “That was still a clever idea you had the first time. Now — let’s talk about better ways to jump.”

Dovepaw sits, as Lionblaze launches into an explanation of jump and pins. She knows she won’t have to use it, but it’ll look bad if she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Dovepaw wakes in misty territory she remembers, even though she she’s only been there once.

“You cannot escape our eyes,” they say. “You are shirking your destiny so that a liar can take your place.”

The tone alone cuts her, but the words still register. “Ivypaw isn’t a liar,” Dovepaw says. “She’s just — confused.”

They scoff. “Foolish girl, cannot see what’s right in front of her. We did not gift you with our power so you could ignore the call.”

“I’m not ignoring it! I’m doing my best. Jayfeather won’t listen.”

“Are you? Fraternizing with enemies, disrespecting your mentor?”

Dovepaw flinches.

“We gave you the power to see clearly,” they say. “And you refuse its call. You were supposed to reunite the Three.”

“And I did! Holly’s here, isn’t she?”

“ThunderClan hasn’t accepted her.”

“I can’t make them do that!”

“A seer could.”

The silence stretches out, because it’s true. A seer could convince ThunderClan to trust Holly again. Jayfeather’s word will never be enough: he’s her littermate, and that makes him weak. Flawed. But Dovepaw is nothing to Holly.

“You are ignoring your destiny, child,” they say. “Pray we do not have to warn you again.”

Dovepaw closes her eyes, and she is surrounded by horrifying, frozen cold for an eternally long heartbeat before she wakes up.

She’s only an apprentice, and a warrior’s apprentice at that. Ivypaw has captured Jayfeather’s attention, and Dovepaw doesn’t know how to win it back.

Ivypaw crouches outside Jayfeather’s den. She saw Lionblaze lead Holly in, and while Ivypaw normally wouldn’t doubt the warrior’s ability to protect his brother, Holly is also his littermate.

Worst come, she’ll be a witness.

She’s got everyone fooled, Hawkfrost’s voice reminds her. Not you, though. You’re too clever for that, Ivypaw. Be careful she doesn’t catch on.

Their conversation is stilted. It is uncomfortably close to how Dovepaw and Ivypaw speak lately. Sometimes, it’s hard to see Holly as their littermate. She certainly doesn’t act like it.

“She was our aunt and our mother and our menotr,” Holly says.

Ivypaw stiffens. She thought Squirrelflight was their mentor. But if Leafpool — what happened to her? ANd their mentor? Holly never trained as a warrior, so—

Leafpool was a seer. A seer who had kits.

And she was exiled for it.

“I deserve to know what happened to her.”

Can’t she see? Leafpool was — and Jayfeather would have been the one to do it.

Don’t tell Jayfeather, Hawkfrost said. It’s our secret.

Holly and Jayfeather keep arguing.

Ivypaw feels like she needs to dig her claws into the ground to stay upright.

If Jayfeather exiled his own mother, what would he do to Ivypaw?

“Focus,” Lionblaze says. “You’re usually a better hunter than this.”

Dovepaw nods. She just has to get through this. Once Jayfeather realizes, her hunting skills won’t be more than a novelty.

“You’re jumpy,” Hawkfrost comments.

“Did you know about Leafpool?”

He sighs. “I didn’t want to scare you, Ivy.”

“Why would you keep that from me? You knew I was in danger.”

“As long as you keep your mouth shut,” Hawkfrost hisses, “you’ll be safe.”

As she shifts nervously, Hawkfrost’s expression softens.

“This is why I didn’t tell you, firefly.” He touches noses with her. “I know how scared you feel, but remember: StarClan is rooting for you.”

“What if he exiles me?”

“We just can’t let that happen.”

“Is it rude to ask how a cat died?”

“You’re not that clever, firefly.” Hawkfrost swats her nose. “If you want to know, just ask.”

“Maybe I want to know what’s considered polite. You won’t be the only StarClan cat I talk to. I should be prepared.”

“In that case, it’s terribly rude. The worst question you could ask.” His eyes are lit up, but Ivypaw can’t tell if he’s joking. “But just this once, Ivypaw, I’ll tell you.” He straightens, putting on a serious yet devious air. “I died, Ivypaw, because someone didn’t know what loyalty is.”

“That’s not very—”

“Ah! I said just this once.” He purrs. “Maybe one day, firefly, I’ll tell you the whole story.”

“It’s rained every day for ages,” Ivypaw complains.

“It’s not so bad,” Briarpaw says.

“What’re you talking about?” Ivypaw bunts her. “It’s been raining for what feels like moons, we get soaked every patrol, and there’s not even dry moss to make nests out of. The elders are insufferable, Jayfeather’s grouchier than a bear who woke up and realized it’s still leafbare, and—”

“And you aren’t helping by complaining about it,” Briarpaw says. She flicks her tail. “Besides, it’s only rained for a bit today. It’ll probably stop.”

Briarpaw purrs. “Anyway, it’s not like getting wet will kill you.”

“You sound like you’re from RiverClan.”

“What, just because I can tolerate a bit more inclimate weather? I just didn’t expect you to be so wimpy.”

Ivypaw growls, batting at Briarpaw’s ear. “Forgive me. I’ll just go stand in the rain for a bit, and then lie on top of you. To dry off.”

“No!” Briarpaw squeaks. “That’s cheating.”

“But I thought you didn’t mind the rain.”

“Well, I do mind drenched apprentices lying on top of me with the intention of making me suffer.” Briarpaw’s smirking. “If you’re not doing anything, don’t come and get me wet.”

“Fine,” Ivypaw says. “I’ll go and catch you a thrush, and then come back and lie on top of you.”

“You do that,” Briarpaw purrs.

“I will!” Ivypaw says, and then she’s prowling through the territory in the rain, hoping to find a thrush.

Briarpaw better share with her.

“Urgh,” Dovepaw complains, shaking off in the Twoleg den. “I can’t believe it’s raining again.”

“You shake off like a dog,” Tigerheart remarks.

Dovepaw rolls her eyes. “What would you have me do? Be wet the whole time?”

Tigerheart purrs. “I guess going hunting is out of the question.”

“And the territory,” Dovepaw reminds him. She doesn’t need to break more of the code than she already is.

“And the territory,” Tigerheart agrees. “So…maybe we could play spirits?”

“What’s that?”

“It’s…well, it’s a game kits play,” Tigerheart says. “But it’s something to do that’s not complain about the weather.”

“How do you play?”

Tigerheart starts to explain the game, and Dovepaw mostly listens. She also listens to the sound the rain makes on the roof of the den — it echoes, not unlike how it sounds in some of the more exposed caves, and she watches the way his ears and whiskers twitch to emphasize statements. ShadowClan is known for being reserved, but Tigerheart isn’t.

“You ready?”

“Sure.” Dovepaw blinks, trying to remember what she’s supposed to do. Mirror him, maybe?

There’s a crack of thunder, and Dovepaw jumps.

“Scared?” Tigerheart asks.

“Just surprised.”

Dovepaw leaves later than usual. She hopes to avoid the storm, but, when that proves impossible, she reluctantly trundles home, hoping StarClan will give them better weather.

Not that StarClan is terribly pleased with her.

“They send one dream,” Dovepaw says, “and leave Ivypaw to impress Jayfeather, and give me nothing, and then they blame me for being exhausted of it!” It’s not her fault their ancestors refuse to fairly communicate.

She can’t make them speak with her.

When she gets back to ThunderClan, she’s soaking wet and exhausted. At least the rain means she doesn’t have to hide her scent. She curls up in her nest, waiting for sleep to come.

“Dovepaw!” Whitewing shouts. “Dovepaw, come on!”

She groans. “I’m tired.”

“No, Dovepaw, you have to get out of there!”

Confused at the urgency, Dovepaw stands, stepping just out of the den and glaring at her mother. Whitewing grabs her scruff, yanking her out.

“I’m not a kit,” she mutters.

“We’re evacuating camp. Now. A tree is going to fall.”

It’s a sign of her exhaustion that it takes her a moment to understand.

“Dovepaw,” Whitewing says, “we don’t have time for this.” She shoves Dovepaw forward, into a crowd of cats evacuating camp. Poppyfrost and Berrynose hold their kits, both whining at the cold, and Ivypaw brushes up against her.

“When’d you go back to the den?” she asks. “You were gone when I woke up, but then no one could find you.”

Dovepaw yawns. “Later,” she mutters. “Let’s get out of here first.” If only so it gives her a chance to come up with a good excuse.

She follows the stream of cats, clustering on the top of the den.

“How’d we even know?”

“Someone heard the—”

“Briarpaw!”

Millie’s voice, panicked and shrill, cuts through everything.

Dovepaw sees the tree fall, as Mousefur, Longtail, and Briarpaw are squabbling. She sees it fall, as Briarpaw darts into the den, Longtail not far behind her, and Mousefur reluctantly leaving the area.

Her claws sink into the dirt, as Ivypaw shrinks back into Whitewing, and they both stare.

Millie races back down, even as Firestar is calling for her to stop, and Lionblaze helps Jayfeather down the cliff.

Other cats trickle after them — Dovepaw sees Holly weave through the crowd, padding after Jayfeather — and Whitewing stays close to them.

She’s been awake for so long, she thinks it’s making her numb, because nothing feels real. Briarpaw is brought out, alive but barely, alive but looking dead, and Dovepaw wonders if she’s dreaming.

(She’s not.)

“Don’t you need someone to grab herbs?”

“Yes. Rosepetal can do it.” Jayfeather flicks his tail.

Ivypaw’s tail wags, frustrated. She would be so much more efficient than Rosepetal, if only Jayfeather would let her.

“If you want to be helpful, go make sure your sister is okay. She’s acting strange, and the last thing we need is another cat to collapse.”

“I’m sure she’s fine. Why won’t you let me—”

“Ivypaw. I do not have time for this. Go sit with Dovepaw.”

She could scream with frustration. Briarpaw’s a mouse’s whisker away from dying, Jayfeather won’t let her help, and now he’s angry with her.

And she has to sit with Dovepaw.

Her sister is shivering. Gritting her teeth, Ivypaw asks, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Dovepaw does sound strange, but less worrisome and more exhausted. Ivypaw can’t blame her: she feels it too.

Jayfeather sorts through the herbs he got from Rosepetal, sniffing and sorting them. Ivypaw catches marigold — cuts — and borage — fevers. Neither of them are particularly useful here, and he seems frustrated by them. Holly watches to one side.

Dovepaw said she had a whole clinic — Dovepaw was amazed that she had her own clinic — but Jayfeather is the best seer in the Clans. He doesn’t need the help of an exile.

But apparently he’ll ask for it. “Aren’t you going to help me?” Jayfeather snaps, like Holly was supposed to be helping him. Ivypaw thinks a fervent prayer she’ll say no. Briarpaw needs StarClan’s help, and how can they help her if an exile is hovering over her body?

“You want me to help?”

Please, Ivypaw thinks. Please say no.

“Yes. She’s going into shock.”

Ivypaw is frozen, like it’s still raining and the wind is still howling through her, and Holly and Jayfeather talk about Briarpaw, and she can’t tell if Briarpaw is still breathing.

Holly is walking towards them.

Ivypaw takes a deep breath. Jayfeather said no, but Holly might not. She’s an exile, after all. Just once, that might be a good thing.

“Can we help?”

Before Holly can even open her mouth, Whitewing cuts in. “You can help by giving them some space.”

She sweeps Ivypaw and Dovepaw away.

“But—”

“Jayfeather doesn’t need two warrior apprentices getting in his way,” Whitewing chastises. “The best thing you can do to help Briarpaw is help your Clan.”

But I can help Briarpaw, Ivypaw thinks.

Ivypaw creeps into the seer’s den. Briarpaw is lying in a nest, her chest rising and falling shallowly.

“She’s been asleep,” Jayfeather says. “And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll let her rest.”

“I just wanted to see her,” Ivypaw whispers. “I just…”

Jayfeather licks her forehead. “It’s scary. But I promise, I’m doing everything I can, and Holly has even seen a case like this before. If you want to distract yourself, you can go make sure the elders are taken care of.”

He’s giving her a chore, but Ivypaw knows it really is a distraction.

“Will you tell me if she wakes up?”

“You’re far from first in line, but I will.”

In the wake of Briarpaw’s injury, Dovepaw stays close to Whitewing.

She feels like the world is still shaking.

“What if Briarpaw became a seer?” Ivypaw asks. “Then we wouldn’t have to worry about her overhearing something.”

“Becoming a seer to evade teh rules would be dishonorable, Ivypaw. Besides, the stars have not chosen her.”

“But…” Ivypaw sighs. Briarpaw doesn’t even want to be a seer. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He sounds confused. “You’re just ceding to me?”

“Well, you’re right.” She dips her head. “I’m…I don’t know.”

“I know it’s scary,” Jayfeather says. “But exiles are very, very rare.”

You’ve made two of them, Ivypool thinks. You’re lying.

“Why not just tell Jayfeather?”

“We’ve been trying, Ivy. He’s not listening.”

“Tell him directly, then! Just like this!”

Hawkfrost sighs. “Oh, Ivypaw. If only it were that simple.”

“You tell me things.”

“You are a very special case.” He nuzzles her cheek. “Ivy, you know us StarClanners don’t go making visits with just anyone, right?”

“Oh.” Ivypaw feels flush. “That’s an honor.” She wiggles a little, and Hawkfrost laughs.

“You don’t think I’m like this with all the seers, do you?”

“Wait, then — why me?”

“You needed help. Simple as that.” He pauses, then straightens. “Now. Back to serious matters. Firefly, how do you think we should convince him?”

“I could give him another omen.” She flicks her tail. “I don’t know, Hawkfrost! Ever since Dovepaw had that stupid dream, it’s all anyone wants to talk about! And Jayfeather will be leaving soon, and—”

“Breathe, Ivypaw. I’m sorry. We obviously aren’t there yet, that’s oaky.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’ll get there. Try not to stress about it.”

“You look rough,” Tigerheart says.

“You know how to woo someone.”

He pulls her against him, rasping his tongue over her flank. “I meant it. Is everything okay?”

“It’s been a… I don’t even know.” Dovepaw closes her eyes, letting him purr and soothe her. “It’s just been a lot.”

He licks her shoulder softly, with no distraction of grooming. “Yeah.” His chin rests on her flank. “It has. I’m glad to see you, though. It’s a nice break from it all.”

Dovepaw purrs. “It is.”

He is warm and holding her and she can just forget that everything is falling apart around her.

“YOu’re exhausted,” Lionblaze growls. “Dovepaw, you—”

“It was a rough night, okay?”

He narrows his eyes. “It’s been ‘just a rough night’ for half a moon. Dove, I want to help you, but you have to talk to me.”

She can’t. If she does, she loses everything.

“I just haven’t been sleeping well. It’s — a lot right now.”

His face softens. “I know. Look, why don’t you go take a nap, and we’ll go out at moonrise? It might be the change of pace you need.”

Dovepaw nods, trying to look grateful. She hopes she won’t miss her meeting with Tigerheart.

(Maybe Lionblaze is right. Maybe Dovepaw is exhausted. But this is the happiest she’s been in a long time.)

Lionblaze licks her shoulder. “I know you can do well, Dovepaw. We’ll keep trying.”

“He still hasn’t chosen you?”

Ivypaw’s ears burn with indignation. “I’m doing my best,” she snaps. “He just — won’t commit. He barely tests Dovepaw lately, it’s all working, but he won’t pick me.”

Something catches in Hawkfrost’s eyes. “Ivypaw,” he says, “I have…well, I know you can convince him. You’re the right choice. But the only thing I can think of…”

She narrows her eyes. “If there’s an omen—”

“You don’t understand.” He levels his gaze. “There’s a ThunderClan cat meeting with a ShadowClan cat. Playing at being mates.” Hawkfrost’s lips curl. “Right under the eyes of the stars and everything.”

“That’s perfect!” Ivypool cries. “I can stop them!” She feels her heart speed up. Jayfeather could blow this off, but in the face of everything else? “He’ll have to pick me.”

“If you’re sure,” Hawkfrost purrs, “I’ll send you an omen on a night you can catch them.”

Jayfeather will pick her, because she’s the right choice and she won’t let her sister get exiled.

“Firestar says he’ll make me a warrior,” Briarpaw says, leaning against Ivypaw. “Not that I’ve earned it.”

Ivypaw licks her cheek. “You’ve more than earned it. What did they do, pass an assessment? I’d like to see them survive what you did.”

“Thanks, Ivy. I just…” Briarpaw flicks her ears. “It’s fine, I guess. I don’t know what I want, and I’m happy he’s not holding me back or anything. I think it’s just hard to face the facts.”

“It’s good to see you,” Tigerheart purrs. “It’s been so long.”

Dovepaw sighs. This can’t go on forever. Jayfeather will realize Ivypaw is the wrong choice, and then this will have to end. But at least for now, it’s nice. “I miss you too,” she admits. “But I…”

“I know.” Tigerheart touches his nose to hers. “I’ll take what I have.” He licks her cheek. “How’s your training going?”

“Fine, I guess.” It’d be going better if Jayfeather would pay attention to her instead of Ivypaw, but it’s just a matter of time. Lionblaze is just a distraction from her destiny. “But tell me what you’ve been up to.”

He starts to talk about his siblings, and Dovepaw just curls against him, washing his flank as he speaks.

“Ha!” Ivypaw exclaims. “I told you there — Dovepaw?”

“What are you — this isn’t—”

“Dovepaw?” Jayfeather asks. “You’re…”

“We’ll take them both to camp,” Firestar sighs. “And send a patrol to Rowanstar.”

Tigerheart and Dovepaw are silent. There’s nothing to be said. She walks next to Brambleclaw, her head hung. Ivypaw keeps glancing back to her, but Dovepaw can’t look at her.

The sun is rising. ShadowClan will be looking for Tigerheart. He’s stuck between Firestar and Jayfeather, which might be for the best. Any communication will only make matters worse.

“Firestar!” Whitewing calls. “Dovepaw is missing, and—”

Dovepaw steps forward from behind Brambleclaw. Whitewing’s mouth snaps shut.

“Berrynose, Thornclaw, Blossomfall, please inform Rowanstar,” Brambleclaw says. “Everyone else, see me for patrol assignments.”

“Dovepaw,” Firestar says, “you are to stay in the apprentices’ den until someone fetches you.”

She dips her head.

When the sun rises, Ivypaw pulls a vole off of the freshkill pile and turns toward the apprentices’ den. She’s probably not supposed to do this, but no one pays her any heed.

Dovepaw is curled tightly in a ball, not even the tips of her ears visible. She’s not asleep, but she doesn’t react to Ivypaw.

Ivypaw places the vole in front of Dovepaw’s nest. “I thought you might be hungry,” she starts, and a low grumble rises in Dovepaw’s throat.

“Go away,” Dovepaw says. “I’m not hungry.”

“Okay.” Ivypaw stands there for a few more moments, until Dovepaw starts growling again. She rushes back out of the den, and collides with Mousefur.

“Sorry!” Ivypaw squeaks.

“It’s alright,” Mousefur says. “Brave of you to broach her.”

”She’s my sister.”

“She’s a bad seed, is what she is,” Mousefur says, not even bothering to lower her voice so that Dovepaw can’t hear. “In my day, we’d never have apprentices acting like her. Consorting with exiles, running off with enemy warriors for moons without their mentors — Bluestar would be rolling in her grave if she could see this.”

Mousefur stalks off, and guilt twists deeper in Ivypaw. She didn’t know — if she had known, she would’ve talked to Dovepaw first.

“Don’t mind Mousefur,” Greystripe says. “Bluestar had…well, maybe it’s not my story to tell, but Bluestar had her own share of misadventures. DOvepaw is a good cat who just made a mistake.”

“Thanks,” Ivypaw says, and adds to herself, I hope Firestar sees it that way.

Firestar looks at her.

His eyes are gentle, even though his posture is harsh.

“I’ve decided Dovepaw’s punishment will be a moon confined to camp. While she is confined to camp, she will be responsible for all apprentice duties.”

Dovepaw feels her paws shake. A moon confined to camp is — well.

She thinks of Holly.

It could be worse.

But it’s not unlike being sent back to the nursery, and Dovepaw knows she broke the rules, knows she was caught, but she can’t help but feel like this is too much.

“You shouldn’t have been meeting with an enemy warrior if you didn’t want to be punished for it!” Ivypaw hisses.

Dovepaw flinches back. “Just because you caught me,” she growls, “doesn’t mean—”

“Girls,” Whitewing says. “This isn’t helpful.”

Ivypaw glares at their mother, darting off because Whitewing can say anything else, and Dovepaw crumples inward.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I know I broke the code.”

Whitewing purrs softly, grooming her. “It could be worse,” she says. “You know, when Jayfeather told me one of you was meant to be a seer — all I could think was I might lose one of you.” She nuzzles Dovepaw’s head. “You’re both still here, and that’s all I could ever ask for.”

“But…”

“You made a mistake. You’re young. Cats will move on.” Whitewing purrs, wrapping Dovepaw up in her tail. “It’s okay, Dove. It’s all going to work out in the end.”

“Why didn’t you tell me it was her?” Ivypaw asks. “I would have—”

“If I told you,” Hawkfrost says, with a tone as smooth as the lake at rest, “you wouldn’t have done what needed to be done.”

“I—”

“It’s alright,” Hawkfrost purrs. “I have a sister. I understand. I wouldn’t have expected you to. I was looking out for you, Ivypaw, just like I promised.”

Ivypaw looks away. Hawkfrost watches her with such intensity that it’s hard to think.

“She didn’t deserve — she just made a mistake,” Ivypaw protests. “She would have stayed.”

Hawkfrost narrows his eyes. “You make a mistake once,” he growls. “You don’t make it for moons. Dovepaw wouldn’t have listened, Ivypaw. Don’t you think we tried that?” He sits beside her, brushing his tail down her back. “I know it’s hard, but look — Jayfeather knows who the right choice is, now, and Dovepaw will learn.” He purrs.

They’re getting ready to leave, Jayfeather is going to make her his apprentice — he is going to find out, Ivypaw thinks. He is going to find out.

She can’t live with this hanging over her head. She has to get it out, because it will burn her down if she lives with this fear. She has seen Dovepaw collapse in on herself when her secret was brought to light, and Ivypaw won’t let that be her.

(She can’t face the hypocrisy, of tearing down her sister’s dreams because she broke the code, when Ivypaw has done so much worse.)

“Jayfeather, I don’t deserve to be your apprentice.”

His head turns to her. She doesn’t. She lied and cheated to get here, just like Dovepaw, only Dovepaw is being punished, and Ivypaw is being rewarded, and she just can’t.

Jayfeather sits next to her, licking her like she’s a kit. “Why’s that?”

“I—” Ivypaw wants to crumple in. She wants to undo this, take it back and pretend she’s said nothing. She can’t do that. She shouldn’t do that. Everything hurts. “I’ve stolen the secrets of the seers.”

And that’s it. He drags her out before the Clan and she says goodbye to her family, and she has to face Dovepaw’s gold eyes burning with rage and grief and Whitewing’s sadness and Birchfall’s silent disappointment, that’s it.

She will be no better than Holly. She is no better than Holly.

Jayfeather laughs.

It feels like the crack of ice, shocking Ivypaw to her core.

“That’s easy to fix, then. I just need to make you my apprentice and you’ll have every right to know.”

Ivypaw feels her paws grow numb with emotion. It’s a crashing wave that she can’t control or understand or name.

It just is.

She doesn’t know what’s supposed to happen next, but something is, and Ivypaw breathes out, because everything is okay.

“You told him?” Hawkfrost growls. “How could you?”

Ivypaw shifts. “He was going to ask questiosn. I thought it better to come clean.”

“This will make everything more difficult,” Hawkfrost says. “Very well.”

“You’re…still meeting with me?”

“Of course. You’re my apprentice, aren’t you?” He nuzzles her. “I won’t abandon you, Ivypaw. There’s no being exiled from being my apprentice.”

Strangely, it makes her feel a little better.

The worst part is the elders.

Dovepaw doesn’t, strictly speaking, mind caring for them. If anything, it gives her something to do with her time. It’s only been a few days, and she already feels like she’s going crazy.

“You need to get more moss,” Mousefur sniffs.

If she was grouchy before, Longtail’s death has only further calcified her, and Dovepaw doesn’t think she’s heard a kind word out of the she-cat. Purdy is usually better, but he’s not here right now.

“I’ll bring some by as soon as I can,” Dovepaw says, trying not to be irritated. She knows she brought more than enough moss by, but Mousefur seems determine to find her efforts unsatisfactory.

“You know,” Mousefur says, “Firestar brought an exile back to camp once. He had a pretty similar punishiment.” She sits up, flicking her tail for Dovepaw to listen. Dovepaw figures it’s besides the point that she’s not being punished for bringing Holly back. “It was back in the old forest. ShadowClan had exiled their seer, and Firepaw brought her to camp just like that.”

Mousefur pauses, and Dovepaw wonders if she’s supposed to say something.

“Anyway, he was confined to camp. Bluestar wanted him to learn about Clan life.” She gives Dovepaw a pointed glance. “Like someone else.”

“I was born in ThunderClan.”

“And you were galavanting around with a ShadowClan warrior. Do you want to sit in with Cherrykit and Molekit? I’ll tell you the story of forbidden mates.”

Dovepaw huffs. “We aren’t mates.”

“That’s not what StarClan says.” But there’s an odd sense of affection in Mousefur’s voice. “Apprentices these days,” she scoffs. “No respect.”

Ivypaw stares into the waters of the Moonpool.

She sees herself, murky, hazy.

She wants this.

Her dreams are empty and ashy and she wonders why, after so long, StarClan is silent.

Dovepaw knows she shouldn’t, but she watches Ivypaw and Jayfeather return. Her sister is happy but tired, walking shoulder-to-shoulder with her mentor.

Bitterness surges.

She exhales.

Ivypaw doesn’t look at her — no one really looks at her — and Dovepaw thinks she’s okay with that. She’s not sure what she would feel if Ivypaw did meet her eyes, but she knows it would be ugly.

“You want her to stay in there?” Millie cries. “What if she overhears something? You’re condemning her to death!”

“I promise, she won’t.” Jayfeather sighs. “I have been working by myself for a long time. Briarlight will be just as safe in my den as any other cat.”

“And now you have an apprentice to teach!”

“And I will teach her in a safe way. No one wants Briarlight to be exiled, Millie.”

“So what do you know?”

Ivypaw shifts. She’s going to say it, out loud, for the frist time.

Jayfeather keeps her busy. He runs her through herbs, confirming everything she says she knows, and moves on to their uses fast. His opinions differ from Hawkfrost in places, and Ivypaw feels like she’s trying to memorize them twice.

But it’s not like she has anything else to do. Dovepaw does her chores silently, avoiding Ivypaw — and most cats. It’s probably not good for her to be so alone, but when they try to talk to her, she pushes them away. Briarlight tries the longest, but even she gets frustrated with Dovepaw’s ever-stony bitterness.

Ivypaw wonders if Dovepaw would’ve managed as a seer, sometimes. It’s easier to accept what happened if Dovepaw wouldn’t have made it, and Hawkfrost has no shortage of points to make on that matter. Dovepaw isn’t exactly a hard worker, for one.

It makes it easier when she can tell herself she did the right thing.

Because Dovepaw did break the code. What would’ve stopped her from breaking it again, and worse, as a seer? She would’ve gotten herself exiled at that rate.

(She can feel the rationalization, but she ignores it. Who is she if she would hurt her kin?)

(But she is loyal. She did the right thing for her Clan.)

They are both so alone. Bumblestripe and Blossomfall are warriors, and most cats give Ivypaw a second look now. Catching her own sister breaking the code is something of a bad look.

Ivypaw did this.

(How could she do this?)

(Because Dovepaw broke the code. She made her choices. Ivypaw makes herself remember that.)

Ivypaw won’t talk to her.

Dovepaw’s tried, but Ivypaw just gives her a sad look, or an angry one (leaning more towards angry every day), and walks away.

Fine.

She doesn’t want to talk to Dovepaw, Dovepaw doesn’t want to talk to her.

Dovepaw doesn’t really have friends anymore. She shares prey with Whitewing, and Lionblaze often stops to speak with her, but they aren’t friends.

She doesn’t care.

She tells herself that, hoping she’ll come to mean it. She doesn’t care.

She doesn’t.

“Willowshine? Was, um…your mentor was Hawkfrost, right?”

Willowshine startles. “He was. How do you — he died a long time ago, Ivypaw.”

“I know.” She looks away, embarassed. “Um. He — it’s complicated, but I’ve seen him in my dreams, and…he’s really proud of you?”

Too many emotions to follow flash over Willowshine’s face, but she settles on very deliberately chosen neutrality.

“Please tell Jayfeather about your dreams,” she says. “Hawkfrost is…not something I want to talk about, but Jayfeather should know enough.”

(Oh.)

“You didn’t hear it from me, but you’ll be allowed to leave camp again tomorrow.” Mousefur licks Dovepaw’s shoulder, then straightens. “Don’t think that means you can neglect your job here.”

“Cherrykit and Molekit are gonna be apprentices soon.”

“What, you’ll abandon your job?”

Dovepaw’s whiskers twitch. “Tell you what, I’ll make sure I catch you the best mouse I can find.”

Ivypaw watches Lionblaze and Dovepaw leave.

“You should talk to her,” Jayfeather says. “She’s your sister; you ought to make things up with her.”

“Dovepaw doesn’t care about me.”

Jayfeather’s tail flicks nervously. “I don’t think…”

“It’s true. She — it’s just true!”

Everything is falling apart and Hawkfrost isn’t even from StarClan (was Dovepaw chosen? has Ivypaw stolen her spot? what will become of her?) and the last thing she needs is someone telling her to repair things with a cat who wants nothing to do with her.

Holly has been in ThunderClan for just under a year when she begins to get restless, glancing towards the edge of territory and looking worried. Finally, she asks to speak with Firestar, and a Clan meeting is called.

“Cats of ThunderClan,” he begins, “Holly will be leaving us for a moon.”

“Good,” someone mutters. Dovepaw cranes her head, but she can’t tell who said it.

“She’ll return,” Firestar explains, “but she has—”

“I have to complete a task,” Holly says. “That’s all.”

“Okay,” Dovepaw says.

Holly looks at her. “What do you mean?”

Dovepaw shakes her head, feeling her fur fluff out. If anyone is listening, she’ll — well, she might not be exiled, not for just asking, but she’ll be in bigger trouble than she is already. And she’s sneaking out just to be here, even thought it’s the middle of the day.

Holly’s eyes widen. “Oh,” she says, and her whiskers twitch. “Of course, Dovepaw.”

Dovepaw shifts her weight, anxious. She wants to know, and Jayfeather will never take her now. “Where do we start?”

Holly purrs. She leans forward, licking Dovepaw’s shoulder. “We start with bringing you back to camp before they notice you’re missing.”

Jayfeather sighs. “Dovepaw, I’m a little—”

“You’re avoiding me.”

He stiffens. “There’s just a lot going on.”

“No, you’re avoiding me, and I’m sick of it.” She watches, wondering how he’ll respond. She knows why he’s avoiding her, but it still hurts to lose him.

“I’m sorry,” she says, and then realizes he said it too.

“I know what I’m sorry for,” Dovepaw says. “But what did you do?”

“Not enough,” he murmurs, licking her temple. “I almost lost the two of you.”

“I really did want to be your apprentice.”

“I know. I’m sorry…well. I’m just sorry.”

She did dream of StarClan. Dovepaw reminds herself of that, even when the Clan is glaring at her and her muscles ache from rebuilding her conditioning and she’s desperate to see Tigerheart again.

She did dream of StarClan.

Ivypaw massages Briarlight’s chest. Jayfeather showed her how, and Briarlight has been through this enough times to be able to correct her, so it’s just the two of them in the den.

“It feels weird being in here all the time,” Briarlight says. “As a kit, I was always afraid of it.”

Ivypaw wrinkles her nose. “Why?” She feels like she was always butting in.

“Well…there was always, y’know, overhearing something. What if Jayfeather forgot I was there?”

“He’s very observant.”

“Well, he always liked you and Dove. It didn’t feel the same for the rest of us.” Briarlight shifts so Ivypaw can access where she needs to. “But I don’t mean to kick up a fuss. I just found it interesting.”

“I always wanted to be here.”

“Like that’s news! We all knew what you wanted, Ivypaw. I didn’t even bother flirting with you!”

Everything (her heart the air in her lungs every hair of her pelt the whole world) freezes.

“Sorry!” Briarlight yelps, pulling away from Ivypaw. “Sorry, forget I said anything, I don’t — sorry!”

Dovepaw chirps happily when Holly returns.

“How was your trip?”

“You don’t have to pretend to care,” Holly teases. “It was good. I missed them.”

Something unspoken lies in Holly’s eyes, but Dovepaw doesn’t press. She rubs her temple against Holly’s shoulder. “I’m happy you’re back, and I’m ready to get started.”

Holly stares at Ivypaw with an unnamed expression.

“I’m not going to bite you,” she says. “Really, I pose very little danger to you.”

“You’re an exile.”

“I’ve reformed.”

“you can’t — you can’t reform from this.”

“Sure I can; talk to your mentor.” Holly licks her white paw, dragging it over her face. “This game of antagonism is getting old, Ivypaw.”

“It’s not a game. I don’t trust you.”

“I don’t care.”

Ivypaw blinks.

“The world doesn’t revolve around you, Ivypaw. You’re just one cat.” Holly’s whiskers twitch. “You can hate me all you want, but I’ll still be here.”

“You’re learning a lot,” Holly says. “It’d go faster if you had patients to treat, but…” She sighs. “Well, mock-ups will have to do. Now. Let’s say I start complaining of bellyache. What do you do?”

She wrinkles her nose. “Ask to feel your stomach.”

“Good, why?”

“I’m feeling for distention, bloat — in younger cats, a solid feeling.”

“Right.” Holly’s ears flick. “The Clans treat all bellyaches the same. You waste a lot of good herbs that way.” She purrs. “But I digress. Say my belly is hard.”

“You’re a kit?”

Holly hums. “It doesn’t actually matter, you’ll jsut see it more in kits.”

“Okay, well…that means worms. Other symptoms include hunger, poor growth, and fatigue.”

“Good. Never diagnose a patient based on one symtpom. That’s—”

“The Clans treat symptoms, not problems.”

She licks Dovepaw’s head. “See? Fast learner.”

“You say that constantly. I’d have to be stupid not to pick up on it.”

“You’d be surprised how slow some cats can be,” Hollypaw mutters. “Learn to just take the praise.”

“Thank you.”

“Good. Now: I’m consistent with a diagnosis of worms. What do you do?”

“Um…just wait, if they’re strong enough to skip a meal, and then a low potency poisony. Weaken the worms, then kill them.”

“What kind of poison?”

“Something like…nettle juice? It’s caustic, so it will burn them?”

Holly grimaces. “And their throats. You could try it if you had no better option — it’s certainly better than foxglove, but it’s not ideal.”

“Foxglove?”

“Not all students think so fast on their feet.”

Briarlight purrs, and Ivypaw twines their tails and tries not to think about Dovepaw, who’s still doing all of the apprentice duties, even after the first part of her punishment ended.

They’re on a patrol alone, and Dovepaw realizes she doesn’t feel quite so sore.

“You’re going slow on purpose,” she realizes.

“We’re going at about the same—”

“Not on the patrol. My training! You’re being slow on purpose — I’m a year and a half old, I should have been a warrior two seasons ago!”

Lionblaze’s face warms. “Oh! I know Holly is training you.”

He says it so simply, Dovepaw doesn’t properly process it, and she doesn’t react the way she should — which is to say, abject terror.

“Are you going to…” (She can’t say it.)

“Tell Jayfeather? No.”

Dovepaw breathes out.

(Things feel a little better. This choice, she’s made for herself.)

Molepaw and Cherrypaw stare at her.

“Go on, make your nests.”

“You’re old,” Cherrypaw says. “But you’re still an apprentice.”

“Don’t act like this is news to you,” Dovepaw spits. “You know why.”

Cherrypaw’s ears fold back. “Sorry. I just…assumed we’d be alone.”

And I assumed I’d be a seer.

“I told you I wouldn’t go easy.” Lionblaze lets Dovepaw up. “You’ve got a lot of learning to do.”

Dovepaw snorts. Lionblaze is the best fighter in ThunderClan, and she’s a mess of an apprentice. He went easy on her, and she lost in a heartbeat.

But he believes in her.

It feels good.

“Let’s talk about the last move. Can you tell me how I beat it?”

She wrinkles her nose. “You, um…did I telegraph again?”

Lionblaze nods. “Set up for it, I want to talk about how to avoid doing it.”

As she steps into it, he nudges her feet.

“Now remember, I don’t want to see you prepare for it.”

“How am I supposed to prepare, then?”

“Keep your muscles tense. When it’s time, you’ll be ready.”

Ivypaw shifts closer to Briarlight in her sleep. She doesn’t mean to, but when she wakes, she doesn’t pull back.

Briarlight purrs, tilting her head back to press her temple into Ivypaw’s jaw. “I like this,” she says.”

Ivypaw flicks her eyes to Jayfeather’s sleeping form.

“Stop thinking so loud,” Briarlight mutters. “You’ll wake him up. Go back to sleep.”

“Won’t the Clan be surprised if you give me my name so soon?”

“You were blessed by the stars,” Jayfeather says. “You’ve more than earned it, and easier this than having to explain why you’re so skilled at treating wounds.”

“But you will have to explain.”

“Only once. Then your name will do it for me.” He licks her shoulder. “You’ve effectively been training twice as hard as anyone else, Ivypaw. You deserve to be recognized for that.”

Jayfeather names her Ivyleaf.

She doesn’t ask if it’s for his mother, if it’s to honor how fast she got it, or if he just thinks it sounds good, because it feels earned, and that’s what matters.

She drinks from the Moonpool, and her dreams are blank (she is not StarClan’s chosen, she will never hear from them), but she has earned her position.

“Congratulations,” Dovepaw says.

Ivyleaf dips her head. “I’m — tired. I’m going to take a nap.”

“Ivyleaf,” Hawkfrost purrs. “Not a bad name. Not what I would’ve given you, but I think it’s still fitting.”

Something scrambles for acknowledgement. It’s still about him. It’s still about him. He can’t even be happy for her.

“My training did pay off,” he adds, and Ivyleaf thinks, he needs it to be about him.

“It did,” she says, trying to sound normal, and not like she’s just understood, just seen clearly for the first time in seasons. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, firefly.” Hawkfrost purrs. “Now. There are some cats I’d like you to meet.” He leads her away from their usual territory. “You’re a smart cat, Ivyleaf. I have to think you know the truth.”

She nods. “You’re not…StarClan.”

“No, I’m not.” He taps her with his tail. “I think that’s the only lie I told you. I certainly hope it is. I’m not a liar by nature, Ivy. It doesn’t come easily to me.”

“Why did you—”

“Save that thought.” He clears his throat, pointing his tail towards a throng of cats. Some she recognizes as living cats, others are spectres of shadows. “This is everyone,” Hawkfrost purrs. “Everyone, meet Ivyleaf. I trust you’ll treat her with the respect due a seer.” He pauses, and as cats howl with laughter, she realizes it was a joke. “She’s also my apprentice.”

The laughter quiets.

“And I do expect you’ll treat her with the respect you treat me.”

They are appraising her. Ivyleaf stands straight. If she is to be here, she will not be seen as a meek apprentice, meerly padding after Hawkfrost.

She has their respect. She will capitalize on it.

“Can we see for for treatment, then?”

“Not if you think she’ll let you get away with malingering.” Hawkfrost turns, blinking at Ivyleaf. “We’re off. Just wanted to make introductions.” He waves his tail, leading her on. “No — you need to see my real den.”

“Your real den?”

(How is she still surprised?)

He nods. “You’ll be spending a lot of time there. Best to get you familiar.”

(Is this what she is? A corruption of StarClan’s emissaries, a claim to even what is sacred?

Ivyleaf has known the truth about Hawkfrost for a long time, but she now understands she is only looking at half of him. She is not his apprentice, dragged in by his prior allegiances. She was only ever a tool to him. A funny joke and a pawn and an easily manipulated little kit.

Ivyleaf wonders why no one told her.)

StarClan stops speaking to Dovepaw. She’s failed them.

(Or, she thinks, watching Holly share prey with her brothers, they used her, and then spit her out like crowfood.)

“Running off to see your mate?”

Dovepaw huffs. “I’m going to collect prey.”

“Sure you are.”

Dovepaw resists the urge to snap back — arguing only gives them more ammunition. It doesn’t matter that she hasn’t had an unsupervised moment since they were caught; it wouldn’t matter if she ahd. She’s just a traitor, biding her time to run off again.

All she did was flirt with a tom from another Clan.

That’s all she’ll have ever done, in their eyes.

If she were Ivyleaf, she’d lift her chin and bear it. If she were the Dovepaw who was destinted to become a seer, she’d protest. But she is none of those things. She is Dovepaw, the disgraced apprentice of ThunderClan, and she has nothing left to prove.

Cherrypaw and Molepaw face the High Ledge, practically shaking with excitement. Their mentors are near them, and the ceremony sounds like rushing water in Dovepaw’s ears.

She‘s not trying to be angry.

Really, she’s not. It’s just — it’s just that it burns.

Cherrypaw and Molepaw were apprenticed not days after Dovepaw’s punishment ended, and she’s watching them become warriors, and she’s supposed to take it on her chin. To understand this is the logical consequence of her actions.

Lionblaze wanted to sit with her, but she had slipped away when he settled down. She knew he was right, of course, that between training with him and training with Holly and keeping up with apprentice duties, she’d keel over if he tried to work her any harder. She falls asleep without hesitation as it is, her mind and body drained, and usually has to be woken.

But it doesn’t make it any easier.

“Cherryfall! Molewhisker!” the Clan calls. Dovepaw says each of their names once, and then turns away from the celebration.

Ivyleaf is waiting for her.

“I’ll help you with your duties,” she says, and Dovepaw ignores her, walking into – her den, again.

Just hers.

“Dovepaw, you can’t mean to do it all on your own again.”

“Why not? I did it once.”

Ivyleaf huffs. “That was different.”

“Same reason, Ivyleaf. What happened to ‘accepting the consequences of my actions?’”

“It wasn’t supposed to mean this.” Ivyleaf’s voice is thick with pleading. “Dovepaw, please, let me help you.”

“How many times do I have to say no,” Dovepaw growls, “before you go back to telling me I deserve this?”

“Dovepaw—”

“No, you keep doing this,” Dovepaw hisses, not looking at Ivyleaf. “You want me to accept so you can feel better about yourself. I’m accepting the consequences of my actions; you accept the consequences of yours.”

“I can always tell when you dreamed of him,” Briarlight comments. She found out about Hawkfrost because Ivyleaf — apparently — talks in her sleep, and Jayfeather had agreed to let Ivyleaf explain things to her.

(“Be careful with her,” Jayfeather warns. “I know — I know what it is like to love someone.” Ivyleaf can see him thinking of Kestrelflight. “But be careful it doesn’t get the two of you hurt.”)

“How can you tell?”

Briarlight’s whiskers twitch. “Other than how unrested you are? You’re angry when you wake up.”

Dovepaw won’t let her close enough to apologize.

Fine, Ivyleaf wants to hiss. I was doing you a favor anyway.

(She couldn’t have known Tigerheart was — no. She was looking out for Dovepaw. Hawkfrost actually knew.)

(Hawkfrost was the one to tell her.)

"Something's bothering you."

"I just..." Dovepaw exhales. "I'm tired of it not mattering. StarClan gave up on me, I'm risking my life to work with you --- and I want to, I do, but..." She sighs. "What's the point, you know?"

Holly nuzzles her head. "The point is to make things a little better, the best you can."

"I ruined my own life," she says. "And I can't make that better."

As Dovepaw trudges through camp, Ivyleaf thinks of Briarlight and feels guilt wring her very bones.

(But her love for Briarlight hurts no one.)

Ivyleaf chews marigold, smearing it on Dovepaw’s side. Her sister is quiet, not angrily twitching or staring into space, just — still.

It’s not like her.

“Are you…”

“I’m fine,” she mutters. “Just — hurry up. I’m wasting time.”

“Getting an injury treated isn’t wasting time.”

“Maybe to you.” Dovepaw’s tail flicks. “Just…hurry up.”

“Well, I’m not going to rush.” She pauses, nosing Dovepaw’s pelt around. “You just got hurt, surely you have the rest of the day off?”

Dovepaw snorts. “Wouldn’t that be nice?” She rolls her shoulder a few times. “Still an apprentice, Ivyleaf. I still have chores to do.”

“Doveclaw,” Firestar says.

When the Clan cheers her name, she holds her head high. She hasn’t quite shaken the biting sense of injustice of it all, but she is a warrior now.

Lionblaze walked her to the ceremony, but Holly is the first to congratulate her.

“I’m not done with you,” she whispers. “But congratulations.”

Whitewing and Birchfall are next, and she accepts their praise graciously, but she can’t help but wish her sister was fighting the crowd.

Ivyleaf had long held her full name.

It wasn’t fair that she got her name in less than the standard year, nor that Doveclaw had been so held back by a misunderstanding. But it was done, and the least she could ask Ivyleaf for was a simple congratulations.

Doveclaw had. Even though she had been an apprentice for a year, and was still not permitted to leave camp without an escort, when she heard Ivyleaf had her full name, she had brought prey to the seers’ den that morning.

Holly must see her sulking, because she pushes her nose against Doveclaw’s shoulder. “I’m sure she…”

Doveclaw’s lips curl back. “She’s in camp,” she says. “She didn’t have an excuse.”

Ivyleaf comes back with a mouthful of herbs. These only flower under the right conditions --- it was now or never. She hurries to stash them: she had hoped to make it back before Dovepaw's ceremony, but it's obvious she didn't.

"Congratulations."

Dovepaw flicks her ears dismissively. "It's Doveclaw," she says. "I'm going to rest before my vigil."

Ivyleaf's heart sinks. How long is Doveclaw going to punish her for this?

She hasn’t spoken to him since the night they got caught. She was an apprentice then, with a hopeless crush and exhausting pressure.

Now, she’s a warrior. Far later than she should have been, but still. She’s going to a Gathering, and while she’s sure ThunderClan will be watching, she will not have to cling to Lionblaze’s side.

“Be careful,” Holly whispers. “Just because—”

“I know.” Doveclaw touches noses with her. “I’ve got this.” Holly prurs, and bunts against Doveclaw.

“Best of luck, then.”

Doveclaw is quiet on the walk. Bumblestripe talks her ear off, and she responds as much as is polite, but mostly just nods. He was a good distraction, but it can’t begin to compare.

Because she still loves him.

Love is a tricky thing. She hasn’t spoken to him in moons, but she knows him. Doveclaw couldn’t say where that conviction came from, but it beats as strong as her heart.

She knows he hasn’t forgotten her. He watches her with pleading eyes every time their paths cross, and while his sister often pulls his attention away, he never stopped, no matter how little she could offer in response.

Tonight, she will give him a word. She will give him a conversation, if she can and if he lets her. She would give him her heart, but she thinks she already did.

It’s silly, because it was just a silly apprentice cursh, but it was taken from her like everything, so she clung to it, as tightly as she could, and it didn’t dissipate.

Doveclaw crosses over the tree bridge, lagging behind Bumblestripe and slipping from his side. Holly is the only one who knows her plan, and she never goes to Gatherings. Doveclaw circles back around ThunderClan, and to the edge of ShadowClan. Tigerheart scans the crowd, looking for her at Lionblaze’s side, no doubt, but he finds her, and a look of burning shock flashes over him, lighting up his face, before he repalces it with carefully mediated neutrality. Doveclaw longs to run to him, but she waits with the same veneer of indifference she has put on every time she has seen Tigerheart. He has one to match, but neither of them can help themselves from touching noses, however briefly.

“Well-met,” Tigerheart says. “Dove…”

He says it like an opening to a question, but she knows he means it where he left it.

“Doveclaw,” she says. “I should go back to my Clan.”

She can feel his disappointment.

”It’s funny to think we were in the same place a year ago,” Doveclaw says. “It feels like we should have moved on by now.

A low purr rumbles in Tigerheart’s chest, just long enough she knows he understands.

“I’m not,” he says. “I was sitting much further from the lake.”

Doveclaw’s ear flicks, and then she slips back into ThunderClan, brushing against Lionblaze. He blinks at her.

“You don’t have to stay with me anymore, Doveclaw.”

“It’s not like I have friends in other Clans.” She tries to fight back the spark of joy, tries to sound resigned. “Besides, how could I miss your face when Firestar announces my name?”

Lionblaze purrs, and he licks her shoulder. “If we have time later,” he says, “I’ll introduce you to some cats. I think RiverClan has warriors about your age.” His expression turns serious, and Doveclaw’s heart sinks. Please let him not have seen anything, she begs. “I know it’s been hard,” he says. “But I’m so proud of you, Dove.”

Oh.

Doveclaw purrs, leaning her head on his shoulder. “This is what I mean,” she says. “How could I pass up on this?”

Ivyleaf cleans the wound of a dead cat.

"Don't waste too much time on anyone," Hawkfrost warns. "A bit of pain will make sure they fight harder."

Ivyleaf can feel her stomach twist in knots, but what can she do but listen?

Tigerheart licks her cheek. “I missed you,” he purrs. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” She runs her cheek against his jaw. It’ll be hell to get his scent off her later, but they haven’t seen each other properly for a year. He lies down, and she tucks herself against him, as Tigerheart starts to groom her.

“And congratulations. How’s it feel to be a warrior?”

“Feels like I should have been a warrior a year ago.”

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry about—”

“It wasn’t your fault. StarClan itself decided…” She sighs. “It doesn’t matter now, at any rate.”

“Aren’t you afraid of getting in more trouble?”

“They’ll treat me as a traitor for the rest of my life. If it doesn’t matter what I do, why bother?” Doveclaw licks his cheek. “I might as well be happy.”

Ivyleaf is waiting by the secret entrance to camp. “You’re — meeting with him?” she asks. “Again?”

“Shh!” Doveclaw says. “Unless you’re trying to tell all of ThunderClan again.”

“I should,” Ivyleaf says. “I can’t believe you’re still doing this.”

“Then don’t.” Doveclaw pauses, sees the worry in Ivyleaf’s eyes, but she can’t bring herself to care. Not over this.

“If I figured it out,” Ivyleaf says, “so could anyone. So you better get better at hiding it.”

“Why do you have to be so difficult?” Doveclaw hisses, loud enough that without the din of battle, she would surely be heard.

“Well, you are attacking me,” Tigerheart snaps, and it is angry, but their eyes meet, and it is also affectionate.

“Then you shouldn’t make it so easy!” Doveclaw does not hesitate to strike at his shoulder. Whether or not she cares, her Clanmates are watching.

Tigerheart deflects her blow, turning to pounce and try to tackle her, but there is also a soft purr.

Doveclaw leaps away, taking advantage of his failure to pin him to the ground. He struggles, trying to shake her off, but his purr only deepens.

“Stop that!” she shouts.

“Fighting back, or loving you?” Tigerheart says, his voice gentle and jarring against the violence surrounding them. “Not that it matters, because I have no plans of stopping either.”