Archive of Our Own

Everyone at The Cricket Club knew about Conrad’s love for coupons. Really, it was normal to see him drag any of his rinkmates whenever he had a chance to get an extra burger, freebies, or discounts on a certain product. 

It had started as a small gag between them, just him fishing coupons from magazines or randomly lucky customer moments. But as time passed, Conrad started to look for those coupons, having specific delivery, shopping or discount apps that helped him to accumulate them. He bought coupon magazines, participated in discount giveaways and entered every contest code that appeared in bottle caps, inside potato chip bags or in hamburger boxes, and everyone could only get used to that. His victims were mainly his sister, Bruce, Roman, and Junhwan, the latter being the most dragged one to his antics; and Jun being the rational soul he was, was fed up with the huge amount of useless coupons Conrad had.

“I didn’t know there were dairy coupons. What are you going to buy? Extra cheese?” He would ask with a chuckle.

“Exactly,” Conrad would reply, with an absolutely serious face. “My family won’t have to buy expensive things from now on.”

Jun gave him the biggest, flattest deadpan in all his current eighteen years of life.

“Why are you buying baby clothes, Conrad?” Corey asked, frowning.

“Ah, my mom got a coupon but didn’t need it, so.”

“You also don’t need baby clothes, dumbass!” Roman cackled. “Unless you’re hiding something from us…”

“Huh?!” Conrad gasped. “No! How dare…?”

“Then why?!”

“You’re such an airhead, dude…”

“Anyways,” Jun quipped. “What are you going to do with those, regardless of the coupons? These are random sizes; one is a three month hat, and this jumper is for a year-old toddler.”

Conrad looked down at the soft pastel clothes he was putting inside the cart, and shrugged with a smile. “Dunno. Maybe give them to someone who needs them in my family?”

The three boys groaned out loud. And Jun would gape at Conrad as he handed him the bag of baby clothes after the rest of the guys had left.

“Are you trying to imply something?” Jun asked nervously.

Conrad laughed out loud. “No! I thought these would fit… her .” 

Jun blinked. “Her. My pet raccoon. ”

“Why not?”

“I…”

“Think about it. She’ll have a premium closet-”

“If she doesn’t eat it first-”

“- and I get to redeem my coupons! Everyone wins here!”

“Conrad, Dalbit-ah won’t like to be strangled by fabrics-”

…

I can’t believe you

She liked them and now she curled into a ball with the small blanket 

[22:03]

hell yeah

[22:04]

Jun would also raise an eyebrow at how his binder was full of coupons that he didn’t even need, because he didn’t live in some redeeming cities.

“What’s the point of saving coupons that are valid only in Vancouver or Montreal, Conrad?” He asked tiredly once.

“Uh, an excuse for a trip? Duh.”

“Conrad, this one expired two weeks ago.”

“Maybe if I take you with me, your puppy eyes will convince them!”

“…”

“Are you okay?”

“Conrad… are these German coupons?”

“Ah, yeah. Who wouldn’t want a free schnitzel when visiting Munich, huh?”

“… I- I can’t believe you sometimes.”

Truth was that Jun was in love with his weird antics. Hell, he was in love with Conrad as a whole for a long time, yet Conrad was seemingly married to discounts like an old ahjumma . It wasn’t even funny. His cheerful smile whenever he got to redeem a prize, or get a discount, or get an extra meal was captivating, and whenever he was trying to hook someone with him on a coupon adventure he was so cute it was ridiculous. 

The whole point was that Conrad was as oblivious and unfazed to his feelings as he was to stores with no discount opportunities. He would never get the hint when Jun invited him to coffee hangouts, walking around Toronto or helping him with specific things during training. Jun’s indirect messages would fly over his head, his shy compliments wouldn’t be heard and his implications of a date would always get overshadowed by a discount shopping spree. How he wanted to burn that goddamned binder and all his apps alike. 

Yet his seemingly unrequited feelings never really disappeared, since Conrad, even if he was the most notorious airhead in the rink, always chose him first for his coupon sprints. Jun would always get the extra meals, anything free on a 2x1 offer, or get half of the prizes Conrad won. So it was an unholy roller coaster of him wanting to give up on Conrad, and at the same time basking on the feeling of being his safest first option.

“What should I do, Dalbit-ah?” Jun asked his raccoon pet on one of those nights. The small animal tilted her head at her owner, the sheep-shaped baby hoodie making her look like a small ball of wool. She clicked her tongue a few times, ate her cookie and curled up against Jun, who petted her head as she provided him some comfort. Yeah, maybe Dalbit had a point. Maybe he should just relax and go with the flow…

“Jun! Be my boyfriend!”

Or not.

Everyone froze. Zhenya, Jason, Katya, the guys, even Yuzuru, stopped what they were doing and turned to look at them.

Jun blinked once. Twice. Thrice.

“Huh?”

“There’s a special event going on at this cafe, and they’re giving couple discounts! It’s a one-in-a-lifetime chance, Jun! Let’s take advantage of this!”

Everyone sighed out in resignation and resumed what they were doing. Jun groaned out loud, shooing Bruce and Roman who were snickering not so far away from them.

“How far are you going to go for a small discount, Orzel?” Jun hissed, pouting as he rested his head on his fist. Conrad chuckled, looking down at Jun.

“As far as I can go to get a free coffee. So, are you tagging along or not?”

Jun shrinked into himself, looking away as he fought his blush. “Why can’t you ask Katya, or any of the girls? It’d be more believable in that way,” he finished with a mumble. He refused to get his hopes up over something as stupid as a superficial discount.

What shocked him, though, was that Conrad tilted his head in seemingly genuine confusion. “Oh? I guess I didn’t consider them at a first glance.”

“What?!”

“What’s the problem with thinking about my best friend first?” Conrad asked, looking like a kicked puppy. “It’s only natural, is it?”

It wasn’t with a second intention at all. Jun should’ve known, but his friend’s blunt sincerity still amazed him. “I… think…?”

“So. Are you coming? We’re close friends so we could definitely hack the discounts away,” Conrad invited once more, stupid innocence written all over his face. 

Why did Jun like such a dork that much? He didn’t know. But he was happy to at least make Conrad happy via indulging him in his shenanigans. So he smiled and nodded.

“Okay, okay. I’ll go.”

Roman jumped from the stair he was sitting on and landed besides the pair. “Let me go as well!”

“What, you want a poly relationship discount, Roman?” Conrad flirted as a joke. Jun made an inhuman attempt of masking his jealousy.

Roman jerked back. “Whoa, bro, not like that. I mean, you’re like, married to your binder. I wouldn’t be a cheater like that.”

“Just explain yourself!” More laughter.

“Can I use that hangout as footage for my next blog?” Roman asked. “I bet it’s gonna be fun. You two don’t worry about me, I won’t interrupt your lovey-dovey act,” he dismissed with a laugh, and a quick, discreet wink at Jun’s way. The latter wanted to sink into the concrete, sublimate into ice shards and float away into nothingness. Yes, Roman knew about his crush on Conrad, and this was normal coming from him. Teasing him with his off league crush.

“Oh, yeah, sure, I guess,” Conrad nodded. “But give me credits. And you’re not stealing my coupons.”

Roman gasped dramatically. “I would never!”

Jun felt like dying. This was going to be a long day.

“An iced frappe with cinnamon and a cappuccino with extra foam, please. Oh, and the ginger cookies bag as well.”

“Okay,” the lady confirmed as she typed.

“And I’d like to apply for the couple discount,” Conrad merrily said, smiling as he took Jun’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers. He glanced at Jun with a big smile and Jun glanced back, smiling shyly. The lady smiled at them with tender eyes.

“Alright. Discount applied. Congratulations to you two!”

Jun wanted to melt into the puddle of feels he was going through right in that moment. Conrad looked astonishingly handsome, even though he was wearing a simple trench coat over his clothes. And that smile he gave him… it was no different from the typical smiles he wore on his face, all grins and crinkled eyes in silly joy, but to think it was on a supposed romantic situation made Jun feel butterflies all over his body, especially in his hand that was being gently held by Conrad’s. Jun couldn’t help but imagine an ideal scenario where this was a real date, and he really got to hold Conrad’s hand, and smile as he wiped the milk foam remains off his face with a napkin. Oh, a boy could only dream.

As they took their orders, Conrad was walking to the table with a spring to his step. “I can’t believe it instantly worked!” He exclaimed, sitting down next to Roman and across Jun. The latter frowned as Roman fixed his camera tripod.

“That’s because you’re a natural charmer, Conrad.”

“Yeah, what Jun said,” Roman said while not looking at them. “I mean, the amount of times I’ve seen girls ogling at you at the mall or you acting all princely is already convincing.” He glanced up. “Jun being naturally cute also helps.”

Jun flushed. “Roman!”

“Well, whatever. We got the discount, Jun got his cappuccino, you get cookies, so everyone wins,” Conrad mused. Roman squealed and started eating as they drank their coffee, chatting away and laughing at Conrad’s future coupon plans. Overall, it was a nice afternoon despite the embarrassment of pretending to be Conrad’s boyfriend. Jun realized that he didn’t really mind being his scapegoat to get discounts, as long as Conrad was happy. He still couldn’t really understand why Conrad would choose him and not another cute girl, her being a rinkmate or a friend from his other circles. But what were the odds?

The walk back was amicable, with the spring breeze brushing their hair up and the clouds framing the late afternoon. The smell of flowers and the people strolling by after work or school only made Jun feel like he was in a sort of movie scene, where everything went well at the end of the day. And maybe that was what happened. So he simply smiled to himself, and focused on enjoying his time with Roman and Conrad, his heart beating to the feelings within that never would go away. Jun liked- no, loved Conrad. So he’d do anything for his happiness, even if it meant tagging along to emotionally draining antics and risking heartbreak.

“Thank you for walking me home,” Jun said once they stopped at his door. Conrad smiled softly.

“No problem. Thank you for tagging along today, and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“Oh, n-no. Don’t worry…” Jun was flabbergasted. He was one stair up from Conrad, and the sunset and the breeze didn’t help with the atmosphere. He had to gather himself. “It was a favor for you, after all.”

Conrad laughed. “Well, it’s the first time I do something like that…” he rubbed his nape. “I was nervous.”

“You? It felt so natural coming from you!” Jun retorted with a chuckle. Conrad smiled back at him.

“I’m glad,” he said, turning around. “Have a nice evening, Jun.”

“And, Conrad…” Jun stepped down so he could be closer. “If you…” was he going to regret it? “… if you need any help regarding those discounts, I will tag along.”

Conrad’s eyes opened widely. “Are you sure? I don’t want to put you in a bad position.”

“Nah. If I’m uncomfortable, you know I’ll tell you.”

What a lie.

“Really?!” Conrad clenched his hands into fists and grinned. “Yes! We’ll get all those discounts!”

“Sure we will,” Jun muttered to the breeze with a small smile. Ah, Conrad’s hair looked twice as gold with the fading sunlight… and his smile shined more than the sun itself. He’d give up anything to see him smile like that every day.

And he didn’t get to process anything more than that when he felt the tight embrace he was in. 

“Conrad…?”

“You’re the best friend ever, Jun,” he whispered. “Thank you for all you’ve done for me.”

Jun felt his eyes tearing up but he couldn’t have that, so he smiled into Conrad’s shoulder and hugged back.

“It’s fine. You make me happy by being happy.”

“You make me happy too.”

Ah, he loved him.

And when Conrad referred to all the discounts, it was all the discounts. 

“Look, Jun! Twenty percent off on aromatic candles if we’re a couple!”

“Oh? Freebies for couples because of Valentine’s leftovers?”

“My mom needs those cups and mugs. Could you pretend we’re moving in together?”

And suddenly, Jun was surrounded by orange blossom scented candles, heart shaped pillows and mugs with flowers painted on them. Extra ice cream, extra coffee, extra sandwiches, burgers, popcorn at the cinemas and whatnot… all of that while holding Conrad’s arm or hand. It was crazy. Roman filmed lots of those discount hunts and posted them on his vlogs, the audience laughing at his stupid comments as he filmed from afar.

“‘They’re in their natural habitat’ seriously?” Jun had voiced out loud. “Seriously?”

“Did I lie?”

“Yes! Conrad isn’t interested in me!”

“Huh… yet you still enjoy it!”

“It’s self ind… in…”

“Indulgence?”

“Yes, that! It’s self indulgence. Let me be. Nothing will come out of this. I’m fine with holding his hand…” his voice quivered, a blush adorning his glassy eyes. “… because I won’t get to experience anything further than that.”

A door slamming open made them jump, as Conrad barged into the changing room.

“Jun, they didn’t buy it!”

Jun blinked. “The cake store? Why? The selfie looked sweet enough…”

“Yeah, but they said friends could also pose that sweetly.”

“They have a point!” Roman chirped in. “Yuzuru takes pictures like that with everyone.”

“Are you seriously comparing us to Yuzuru? Seriously?” Jun whined. “He gets marriage proposals by the thousands as we speak!”

“Anyways,” Conrad interrupted, “we need to step up the game.”

“Is cake that important, Conrad? We’re on diets.”

“Yes, Jun. It’s a diet orange pancake cake,” and he frowned upon the deadpan Jun and Roman gave him. “What? It’s a must, and Alison loves it. And who am I to say no to my little sister?”

“Stop lying,” Jun mumbled. He sighed and stood up, already dreading this afternoon. “So. How are we going to fool them?”

Conrad took out his skates as they all walked out to the rink. The lighting only made his smirk scarier.

“It’s showtime.”

Jun shivered.

Roman was holding up his laughter as he filmed from his corner. The script was natural, the gestures and expressions as well. If he didn’t know them, he would 100% think of Conrad and Jun as a genuine couple, but one that started dating last week.

“What are you going to order, babe?” Conrad asked, stroking Jun’s hand with a smile. Jun made a thoughtful expression over his flushed face as he looked at the menu, and nodded up at the blond across him.

“I think I’ll order the soufflé hotcakes. You?” He asked back at Conrad, tilting his head just enough for his cheeks to look even rounder and cuter.

Conrad chuckled and ruffled his hair. “Not surprised, coming from you. Uh, I’ll go with the orange cake. Three pieces, please.”

The waitress noted everything down and smiled at them, quickly walking away into the building. Roman stood up from inside the bush he was in and walked towards them, a few branches and leaves here and there.

“You guys are so sweet you’ll make me throw up,” he cooed, sarcasm dripping from his voice as he sat down. “When’s the wedding?”

“If I get a coupon for a wedding counselor, I’ll tell you the date,” Conrad shot back, winking at Jun with a smirk. The younger boy blushed even more.

“I can’t believe you won’t risk paying a full wedding, even for me. Betrayed,” he mildly replied, rolling his eyes. Conrad pinched one of his cheeks playfully.

“Your boyfriend’s gotta eat as well, you know?” He protested, pouting. He then released the slightly swollen cheek, only to caress it with his knuckles and smile at Jun. 

Roman shivered. “You make it seem so natural, man. You’d make a good boyfriend.”

Conrad beamed at him. “You think so?” he asked with complete innocence. “I’m just improvising after all, bro. All for the cake’s sake!”

As they chuckled, Roman couldn’t help but side glance at Jun. His sad smile said everything.

I wonder how much he’s going to take, he thought bitterly. This was not a good idea for Jun’s heart, at all.

Jun was unfazed despite his scores slightly dropping. He was drowning in the feeling of enjoying what he had with Conrad. He didn’t care about the pitiful glances sent his way in TCC, and he barely listened to Brian’s lectures anymore. He had cakes, romantic coffee dates and overall, he had the chance to do what he had yearned to do for months, even a year ago. It was all in good fun in Conrad’s eyes as they simply went with the flow, of course, and his never ending silent kindness only made Jun fall deeper for him. It wasn’t like they settled boundaries or negotiated any details when they agreed to do this, so they never really talked about it again. Conrad assumed Jun was comfortable, and Jun simply allowed himself to drown deeper and deeper into the abyss. He got to hold Conrad’s arm, be caressed on the face with delicacy, rest his head on his shoulder, walk around the restaurants hand in hand with him, call him by pet names and allowing himself to let his embarrassment show whenever Conrad looked at him with those tender hazelnut colored eyes of his, whenever he called him with a cutesy nickname with a mellifluous voice or whenever he (and to Jun’s initial shock!) kissed him on the cheek. The first time that happened, Jun had almost shrieked at the soft, gentle contact, because of how Conrad’s lips had lingered there for a few (long) seconds and the cheeky smile Conrad had given him afterwards. 

All the waiters, waitresses, managers and clerks melted at how a sweet couple they were, not knowing that all of that was just for show. They even repeated some rendezvous to shops they’ve already been to, whenever they had a couple discount on different things from the last time they went. So, the managers would ask them questions, and god blessed Conrad and his spontaneous ability to improvise and have his way, inventing a fairytale-worthy love story when he was sure they wouldn’t get recognized by the listeners (usually elders who ran family businesses). Jun would just shyly nod and thank him in his mind, for as he wouldn’t have ever thought such extravagant ways to simply save some dollars from demise. 

Oh, and as the season started, Conrad took advantage of whatever places with discounts in every place he went to. Sweet selfies, cute text screenshots and aesthetic pictures (taken by Roman, Bruce or Jason mostly) were the perfect bribe whenever they were far away from each other. Conrad mostly did the job; Jun was easily recognizable wherever he went and didn’t need discounts. Conrad was lucky to have a good eye to spot the ideal places to plan his Discount Heists, remain anonymous and protect Jun’s reputation on the way. The perks of being irrelevant, he had joked once. And Jun didn’t like that, because the blond was the most relevant person in his life, after his family. 

This all was dangerous, he knew it, and the pent up frustration on how all his dreams were becoming true because of lies, as Conrad never realized what Jun had felt for him in the long run, would explode if he didn’t do anything soon.

And yet, he refused to stop. Because if he did, all the magic and illusory paradise he had managed to build for his selfish desires would vanish away, with no return.

So, three months in and a few days after they all had come back to Toronto for a quick while, Conrad asked Jun to wait for him after his training schedule was over for the day, as he needed to talk to him. Jun’s gut twisted inside him and became paler; what would they talk about? Everything had been going smoothly. Something was brewing. Maybe he finally got tired? No, it was Conrad he was thinking about. He’d rather quit figure skating than giving up on his beloved discounts and coupons. Then what?

His ruminating head was reflected on his jumps, as his axis was nowhere to be found and his spins were a lot sloppier than usual. And it was on a specific badly executed jump that made him fly off straight onto the ice that Brian got fed up with his moping and called him out. You yourself settled on placing your emotions aside as you trained. You are betraying yourself like this, he would say, as Jun was numbly staring at the ice as he went on and on. Things that finally dawned on him as his nose bled, his cheek was swollen and as he felt the bruises starting to form near his shoulder, side and hip. Things around I can’t tolerate any more distractions and you haven’t been like yourself and it’s starting to worry everyone and knowing you, you should be more aware of this than anyone in here.

After being sent to rest for a while, Jun plopped down and sighed loudly. Get a grip! His rational side yelled. Your emotions cannot deviate you from this, what were you thinking? Why are you so emotion-driven lately? Why are you being such a fool right now? This has been enough!

Jun held his face in his hands. The three-month euphoria suddenly had come to a halt after that sudden fall from cloud nine. He finally realized (at the cost of his skating quality suddenly decreasing and his anxiety growing) that his illusions were only that: illusions. The moment Conrad wouldn’t need his help anymore, things would go back to normal, they wouldn’t talk about the issue anymore, and Conrad would move on with his life; while Jun, uncomfortably admitting to himself, would receive all the heartbreak, yearning sadness and longing for the ghost of a hug, the mist of a smile and the reflection of a present that it was his fault for being in.

What had he done? Why the hell did he agree to something he knew wouldn't lead anywhere good? Why did he suggest to throw himself into his own grave?

Jun took a moment to restart his senses, as he closed his eyes. The smell of ice, steel and chloride; the sounds of blades piercing the ice, a clap on the ice when someone landed a jump, the approving words of the coaches; the feeling of the concrete under his hand, the texture of his skates, the sensation of sweat on his face; the taste of ambition, determination, dignity and focus on his tongue. And as he opened his eyes bit by bit, he took in the scenery of the bright white ice, the light, his rinkmates, friends and coach all there, giving their best. Ah, yes, a blond prince with a bargaining addiction wouldn’t shake his heart that easily. Lies wouldn’t sway his heart that easily anymore, and he had to remind himself of that. 

He stood back up, chugged down some of his Gatorade, and went to the rink again. His heart was already too engaged in their discount scheming; it was time to go back to reality.

Everyone was chatting with everyone as their schedules ended; Jun had already changed his clothes and put away his skates inside his locker. Katya and Jason were idly chatting with Zhenya, Yuzuru was staring daggers into his phone, probably waiting for Javier to reply to his texts when it was three in the morning in Spain, and Roman was showing something apparently funny to Corey and Bruce. Brian and Tracy were discussing some paperwork, and Ghislain was aiding David in tidying things up. Everything and everyone looked lively and vivid, and Jun couldn’t help but smile at the scene. It had been a good day overall.

“Jun.”

Or not.

Jun, already feeling the dread filling his lungs as he breathed in deeply, turned around.

“Hey…”

Conrad half smiled at him. “So… what I wanted to tell you… uh.” 

The blond grabbed Jun by the forearm and dragged him to a corner, a little far from the rest so they would not be interrupted for some minutes. Jun’s heart was leaping off his chest, and he knew it shouldn’t not only because it was shameful to get himself carried away by his crush again, but because they had hugged, held hands and kissed each other’s cheeks. Grabbing his forearm was nothing.

“What… what is it, Conrad?” He asked in a whisper. Conrad licked his lips and dug his free hand into his hoodie pocket. He wasn’t looking at Jun’s eyes. Was he blushing? No. Jun refused to imagine things anymore.

“I… well, I know I told you this all was in good fun, so…” he cleared his throat, looking away, “let’s cooperate a little further.”

Jun expected his heart to flutter at the extended chance to hold Conrad in his arms, but it actually caused his heart to drop to the ground. “What…?”

Conrad chuckled, his tension not going down. “Uh, well… haha… um, some restaurants I’ve seen give couples discounts only to the ‘formal’ couples,” he explained with a childish smile. “So, I was thinking about that. Look at this.”

He took his hand off his pocket, and showed it to Jun. A small, delicate silver ring adorned with tiny shining rhinestones appeared in Jun’s sight, making his eyes grow wide open and holding it instantly between two fingers. 

“This…?”

“Is a fake promise ring!” Conrad exclaimed. “Pretty cool, huh? We’ll definitely trick those pompous boomers and get fancy meals. I can feel it!”

Jun’s rational inner call-out he had a few hours ago struck him again. All the memories of him getting lost in made-up bliss, the danger, the way he reached out for the ring in a secon, all of that, suddenly stained with the cold-water sensation of irrational, irrational, irrational clouded his head. He wasn’t sure he would take that that far, because that’d be exposing his feelings openly. Formal couples lived together. Formal couples kissed on each other’s lips. Formal couples were considered on each other’s futures. 

And Conrad would never do any of the three.

“Did you… buy this…?”

Conrad made a questioning noise, chuckling nervously. “Hah? Of course not, Jun, I-I’m not that crazy- I mean, I simply stole it from Alison’s ring collection! Come on. It’s just for the show, so buying something like this isn’t worth it.”

His chuckling only made Jun’s mind darken more and more. He was stupid. He was stupid for forgetting his common sense, his boundaries, his priorities and the fact that Conrad never liked him back in that way. 

Anger, sadness and frustration filled his heart. He was done with the lies and done with his heart being played like that.

“So? What do you say?” Conrad lightly elbowed him as he asked. “Are you down?”

Jun snapped at that moment.

“No, Conrad.”

“Oh, okay-”

“And I won’t keep this up anymore,” he stated, still looking at the ground. “I will not keep up a lie and all this pretending for your financial sake, Conrad Orzel!” he exclaimed. His breathing became quick and deep. Conrad took a step back.

“J-Jun, I think you should calm down,” he stammered. “It’s not that deep of a big deal, why-”

“Why?” Jun spat out, glaring at his eyes. “ Why?! Have you ever considered my feelings when doing all this? Have you ever considered why I was reluctant at the beginning, wondering why you didn’t pick a girl or literally anyone but me?” he shouted.

“Jun, people are-”

“ You care about that instead of what I’m telling you? ”

“Jun-”

“Conrad Orzel, you’re an airhead, a dumb, stupid, naive and an all-rounder tone-deaf asshole, ” Jun hissed, pain written all over his face. “I can’t believe you pushed the couple narrative just so you could empty your godforsaken binder without considering what I felt for all this time. What about me? What about my opinion?!”

“You never told me!”

“You never asked!”

“Please-”

“No! No, I’m not doing it!” Jun shouted, walking outside the corner. He didn’t care about the staring; he didn’t care about Zhenya and Jason walking towards them, Yuzuru looking at them worriedly and Brian gaping at his most composed student lashing out like that.

Conrad ran after him and held his wrist. “Jun, listen, I’m sorry–”

“No, you’re not genuinely sorry, Conrad! You’re just sorry about getting called out!” Jun shot back, turning around and hurling the ring at his face, hitting a perfect bullseye in the middle of the blond’s forehead.

“ Ouch-”

“I can’t believe myself for following your stunts, for allowing myself to dream, to believe something could happen!” Jun yelled, mostly out loud for his consciousness to hear as he stared at his open hands. “It’s on me for having faith in you, in your stupid kindness, your damned smile, your shitty instant ramyeon skills-”

“Jun, what are you saying?!”

“I love you , you bastard, since ages ago!” Jun finally confessed with a gut-wrenching voice. His eyes were starting to sting. “Despite you betraying all of my bloodline with that atrocity you called ramyeon, I loved you. I’ve loved you since I first got a glimpse of your heart. I’ve loved your smile, your sweetness, your spontaneity, your stupid way of never having second intentions when talking to me. I’ve always loved how you treat me like a normal person instead of glorifying me for my reputation. But even I have limits, Orzel!

There was a deafening silence, only interrupted by soft sniffling. Jun was crying.

Conrad’s eyes were already big, but the yelled confession got him in shock. Jun liked him? He loved him? And that was why he had agreed?

Everything had hit him like whiplash. The blushing, the glances, the shyness overall in his behavior… Everything was genuine. He felt his feet growing ice cold, then his hands, then his stomach and heart, and then, full on his face. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no—

His heart started beating off his chest, and reached out to Jun, but he swatted his hand away.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Jun, listen, I- you got it wrong-”

“Don’t touch me!” 

Jun looked up, and the sight broke Conrad’s heart. His face was stained with tears, face flushed as he was gritting his teeth. His eyes, glassy. His look, painful and betrayed. And the avalanche of emotions Conrad was suddenly feeling didn’t help.

“J-Jun…”

“I hope you choke to death on your freaking coupons,” he seethed. “I bet they’d make discounts on your funerary services.”

The silence was now absolute as Jun had pursed his lips, turned around as he gripped his backpack straps and ran out of the building. Conrad closed his eyes, feeling the  at least six pairs of eyes glaring daggers into him.

What had he done?

Jun didn’t know how he managed to sprint all the way to the bus stop and all the way from the other stop to his house, but he did it. His eyes were clouded with tears, and he didn’t even announce he had arrived as he clumsily took his shoes off and ran towards his room. Dalbit was curious, and went along with him. Jun threw himself onto his bed without even bothering to turn on his nightstand’s lamp, crying angry tears and hugging his big pillows. 

“No, no, no…” he pleaded into the air. He was begging for all of this to stop; this wasn’t a dream anymore. Maybe all of this was the prelude to a nightmarish dead end since the beginning. 

He heard steps and curled into a ball. His mother wouldn’t help him at all, and his hyung was busy, so he wouldn’t bother him.

“Junhwan-ah, why didn’t you leave your shoes inside the rack?”

“Mmm,” he mumbled as he turned the light on. He wasn’t in the mood for her lectures. Well, Mistress Cha didn’t take it too well either.

“Whatever,” she dismissed, her Korean sounding harsher than usual. “Are you having dinner or not?”

Maybe she also had a stressful day, his rational side would say. But he was too caught into his frustration, he didn’t listen to his head. “No,” he whispered.

“Speak clearly… I didn’t hear you.”

“I said I don’t!” he exclaimed, raising his head to glare at her. She gasped.

“Yah! Cha Junhwan!” she warned. “Don’t you raise your voice to me like that! 

Jun blinked in shock. Did he… 

“Olympic skater or not, Korean pride or not, I’m still your mother, so don’t you go talking back like that!” she spoke, whacking Jun’s head. He blinked in astonishment as he lowered his head in submission, standing up. 

“I’m- I’m sorry.”

“You better,” his mother argued sternly. “I don’t know what happened today for you to act like a brat after being suddenly happy for months, but you don’t have the right to take it off on me. You yourself have the principle of holding yourself accountable for your emotions. You hate lashing out on people who don’t deserve it,” she chided, “so you better get a grip. I also have had a stressful day and your mistakes and feelings are not my responsibility. It’s for you to work on, since you’re so professional and old enough now.”

“I’m sorry, mother,” he bowed down deeply. She huffed.

“Whatever.”

She stormed out of his room, and Jun stood there alone. He looked at Dalbit, adorably dressed with a pastel blue little dress Conrad had bought for her on his baby-clothes-discount spree. And seemingly enough, even the raccoon got miffed at his attitude, as she turned her head away from him in disdain and promptly walked off the room as well. Jun felt like crying again; even Dalbit was pissed at him. Well, she had a point. He behaved like a spoiled kid and he didn’t even check on her food, water nor cuddled her when he entered the house. But a raccoon giving him the ice treatment was his limit. Ah, how he wanted to be a small child again to hug his mother with no shame and to cry on her lap.

She was right, Brian was right, his rational side was right. All of this had made him lose his way, lose himself. What could he do to fix this mess? What could he do? His broken heart would only bleed more if he kept on seeing Conrad; they both were in between competitions and Jun needed to get a grip before it was too late. How did one rush the grief and healing over unrequited feelings?

What would I do? He pondered silently as he laid on his back, eyes closed, on the bed. But then again, he himself was in the eye of this hurricane and couldn’t face himself, for crying out loud. Did therapists have discount coupons as well?

What would I do? He tried to recall other times when crushes hadn’t worked out, or when his past relationships were cut short. That one girl to whom he didn’t get to confess before departing from Korea. That boy who had to reject him since the pressure of dating a famous skater was bigger than anything. The girlfriend he had for barely two months as his schedule got so tight and she was so inflexible, they had to call it quits. He had survived such heartbreaks. But how? The current Jun wouldn’t have been able to recover quickly. He saw himself, blushing, teary eyed and crouching on ice. An infatuated, distracted coward. What would he even do?

… 

No, he corrected himself, changing his mental image. Instead of seeing Jun, the lovestruck late teenager with big hoodies, noise-cancelling headphones and high pitched nervous giggles, he imagined Cha Junhwan, the curly haired, charismatic and rational figure skater, regally standing before him with his arm extended, hand open as an invitation to dance and with a confident smile written on his features. 

What would Cha Junhwan do?

He imagined Junhwan smiling at him, as if he knew the answers. And slowly but surely, Jun did.

Organization, advice and focus, he heard himself saying. Nobody ever survived on their own, and you’re not really alone, right? He heard himself say.

Oh, yeah. He wasn’t.

So, it’s best to reflect on your emotions with more experienced people, Junhwan said with a casual shrug, his smile never wavering. Yeah. Managing his messy emotions was always better when talked to close people.

And with that in mind and after apologizing properly to his mother, he went to sleep, covering himself past his head. He didn’t want to think.

He felt Dalbit sneaking into his room when he was already falling asleep, as she hopped onto his bed and curled up against his legs. She had forgiven him. And he also heard steps, a deaf noise landing on his bedside table, and the steps retreating. As he felt his eyes closing, he opened one eye and turned on the light. A bowl of neatly cut fruits was on the table, a good mix of apples, pears and peaches. He smiled slightly. His mother had also forgiven him.

Everything would be better by the next day.

Avoiding Conrad like the plague wasn’t his plan. Really. He thought he would be rational about it and face it like the pro athlete he was. But as soon as the dirty blond hair and the hazelnut eyes appeared in his sight, Jun put on his headphones at the speed of light so he would have an excuse not to hear him.

Roman could only look at him with sorrow in his eyes, and Jun was slightly miffed about it, so yeah. Roman was out of the question on his People Who Could Help Me list.

On a short break, he approached Yuzuru.

“Uh… Yuzu? Are you free?”

“Depends, Jun,” Yuzu said absent-mindedly. “What? Help with quads?”

“Ah- no, no. It was… something about Con-”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence as Yuzuru’s calm gaze turned into a glare. The glare.

“Conrad? Has a death wish?”

Jun paled. “No, no!”

“ Mattaku, Jun! Your taste basic!” Yuzu complained, waving his arms to emphasize his annoyance. “After you run yesterday, he stayed there, like statue. Pathetic,” he hissed. “Handsome but useless. Statue, and coupon otaku. Get you a better one.”

Jun felt as if his ranting had a deeper level. “Yuzu?”

“Westerners weird. Foreigners weird,” Yuzu exclaimed vehemently. “They do bad thing and then don’t apologize! They ignore! They don’t fix!”

Bingo.

“Yeah… about love…”

“You see me? I’m worst example right now. My words: stay single, Jun. It’s best,” Yuzuru sentenced, glaring at his phone again. “You don’t get betrayed.”

Yeah, no. Yuzuru and whatever on earth was happening between him and Javier was not a safe zone to step into. Jun bowed in apology and skated away.

Bruce, Corey and Joseph were out of the chart as well, so he went to Brian.

“Uh, coa-”

“Raj, I’m telling you we’re not having seafood for dinner,” Brian spoke to the phone. “... Yeah, I know it’s our monthly anniversary– why do we keep on celebrating month anniversaries when we’ve been together for eleven years now?” he asked tiredly. “Oh, how romantic.”

Jun glanced at David who raised his hands in defeat. Well, an old-married couple quarrel wasn’t something he’d like to get in either, so he left his thoughts for later as his break was over.

“Habi, you stupid!” Yuzuru exclaimed into the phone. Everyone seemed to sigh collectively. “You finally answer phone!”

Jun grimaced as he sipped his coffee. Why was everyone in such a weird mood regarding love lately?

He accidentally glanced further at the tables, the breeze hitting his hair. His and Conrad’s gazes met briefly, yet Jun was flabbergasted. Had Conrad been staring at him the whole time?

He instantly looked away, feeling his heartbeat speed up and his face burning. No, he couldn’t yield like that. He was mad! Mad at that stupid and handsome prince with no braincells he had grown to love!

He would end up like Brian if he kept these headaches coming. Yuzuru was no better; he was probably cursing in Japanese as he stomped out of the cafeteria, back to the rink where he’d probably scream some truths at Javi’s ear. He still looked flawless as he walked with his skates on, protectors and all. He recalled Conrad waddling like a baby penguin whenever he had to walk with those, and he smiled to himself. Conrad was always like that; cool, yet unintentionally cute.

No! He had to get a grip. Well, his options were far from over.

Jun shook his head, side-eyed Conrad and the guys until they weren’t looking in his direction and then he walked away so he wouldn’t raise suspicions. He went to Zhenya and Jason, who were probably watching something funny as they laughed freely while holding their drinks.

“Hi there,” he greeted shyly. Jason beamed at him and Zhenya waved energetically. “Uh, I need help with what… with what happened yesterday,” he admitted, looking down. 

The two of them exchanged knowing looks, and smiled warmly.

“Sure, Jun!” Jason nodded. “You know, yesterday was quite a surprise. I thought you guys were… a thing already.”

“No,” Jun mumbled sadly. Zhenya patted the chair next to her so he could sit down. He did and looked up at them, sorrow in his eyes and calm pain in his voice. “You know how he is with coupons, right?”

“Yes, yes,” Zhenya affirmed. “Very passionate. Economic!”

“Yeah,” Jun said, half smiling. “Well… he once asked me to be his fake boyfriend, as he wanted something that held a couples’ discount.

Zhenya’s and Jason’s eyes opened. “What?”

“No! I agreed!” he clarified quickly. “It was just a stupid coffee, nothing too big. We wouldn’t get recognized, the coffee was homemade and we even got stickers as gifts.”

“Stonks,” Jason whispered.

“So I thought it’d be a one-time thing, and I lightly told him that if he needed any more help with… that kind of offers, well. I’d be glad to help.”

“Mhm?” Zhenya hummed.

“And then, he suddenly found lots of places with such discounts. However, things got difficult, people didn’t believe us, so he started calling me names, caressing my face, k-kissing my cheeks…” his face heated up again. Zhenya cooed and pinched his cheek, and Jason side smiled.

“That’s cute,” Zhenya replied, with her lovely accent. “What’s wrong with that? Normal relationship. Works like that, yes?”

“The thing is that he never considered it seriously,” Jun sighed. Their faces changed. “He never knew I really liked him and not only for this game. He never discussed things with me about it, he assumed I’d be comfortable with anything since I’m his best friend.”

“That’s not it,” Jason frowned. “Emotional responsibility comes at any point in relationships. Even friendships.”

“Huh?”

“Yes,” Zhenya nodded solemnly. “Friend rules too. Everything has. You don’t break rules. That’s bad. That’s bad friendship.”

“Exactly,” Jason seconded. “It wasn’t cool on his part, but I guess you also didn’t say anything to make things awkward, don’t cha?” he asked, with an emotion Jun couldn’t understand. It was almost nostalgic; almost with the melancholy of something long lost.

“... Yes. I was afraid… afraid of waking up from the dream. But now, I feel like he used me just for the sake of his money,” Jun said bitterly.

“Maybe not black and white,” Zhenya thought out loud. “Maybe grey. Reason why is complicated.”

“Maybe you two have a bit of responsibility over this, don’t you think?”

Jun groaned. “I know! It’s just… I was too much of a coward and never really confessed. I bet he would’ve said something like ‘oh? You really like me? Haha, the more you know!’ or something like that,” he protested. 

Jason looked him straight in the eye. “You also are assuming his feelings right now.”

Zhenya nodded twice. “Yeah. You… don’t know his heart. You know what he thinks?”

“No…”

“And do you listened to him yesterday?”

“No… no, I just ran off,” Jun lamented as he dug his face in his palms. “Oh my god, I did something terrible!”

“Nah, buddy. It’s fine, we all make mistakes when we feel betrayed. But hey, at least you acknowledge it,” Jason said, standing up to pat his back. Zhenya hugged Jun’s arm and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Bet he thinks something else,” she muttered sweetly. “Bet something’s under everything.”

“You guys are putting too much faith in this coupon-freak,” Jun joked. The three of them chuckled. 

“Maybe,” Jason shrugged. “Maybe you had him on a pedestal and you didn’t see further than what was on the surface. Who knows? The worst thing that could happen is him rejecting you and you also having to apologize. We know Conrad, Jun. He wouldn’t stop being your friend over neither romantic feelings nor paper cutouts of fifty percent off on popcorn!”

They all laughed. “Yes,” Zhenya added. “He’s good person. You’re good person. He treasures you. You treasure him. Both treasures, but on chest. And chest only shows treasure if open.”

Jason whistled. “Damn, girl, you’re going all philosophical on the baby!”

Zhenya winked at him, and Jun chuckled at the scene. “Of course, Jason. I’m way smarter in Russian!”

Those two were like siblings and Jun felt his heart warming at how mature yet comforting they were with him. Emotional from a rational point of view, a good mix Jun really needed in that moment.

But his days were filled with avoidance. He preferred to stay near Zhenya and Jason, because every time he scooted near Conrad, fear would still strike him and he’d desist on his attempts of talking to him. At first, he felt like a coward. He was the one who lashed out; he needed to apologize first. But even so, it felt like a bucket of cold water washing over him whenever they were at a minimal distance. Conrad also gave him those eyes, the broken puppy eyes Jun felt so weakened over. Jun felt tempted, but whenever he remembered the confession he would retract. Why was all that so difficult? 

Jason and Zhenya would say that he needed to go at his own pace; as not everything was black or white, this was something more complicated than a simple friends quarrel. But Jun felt like time was running out; the season was moving along and there was no time to catch breaks! He was better than that. He was a rational person: and the most rational thing he could think of was that if he didn’t fix that mess soon it would reflect on his skating even more.

Running away from your problems isn’t like you, Junhwan would say to anyone else. Jun needed those words on a daily basis, but something held him back.

And the determination to put an end to his walking on eggshells came to his mind and heart after an intensive training during the morning, those trainings and rehearsals when the only thing he wanted was to sleep due to his exhaustion. As Jun opened his locker to get his backpack, a small, folded paper slipped out. He hadn’t placed anything in the morning, why was that?

He crouched down to pick it up, and unfolded it. His eyes went wide open upon seeing a handwritten note, filled with weird doodles and flowers all around like a frame. It had all sorts of colors (the ink gel with a fruity smell was already suspicious as it was) and it has a simple sentence at the center of it.

100% off on your preferred Cricket Club coffee,

and a reconciliation talk, perhaps?

:)

Jun looked up in astonishment towards the door that led to the cafeteria, only to see Conrad leaning on the frame, all shy smiles and him scratching his nape.

“Conrad…” Jun could only whisper, his cheeks already blushing.

“Please,” Conrad pleaded. “I need to talk to you.”

Jun looked at the adorable note he had in his bands, a coupon specially made for him. He couldn’t help the silly smile that adorned his face. Yeah, that boy would always be his weakness.

“O… okay,” he nodded, and walked towards the blond after closing his locker. But before he could do anything else, Conrad had already wrapped his arms around Jun’s neck. Jun didn’t hug back. He was too surprised.

“I missed you,” the blond mumbled. “Don’t do that to me again.”

“You better not be fucking with me this time, Orzel,” Jun chided, but it lacked all the bite and spite it should’ve had. Conrad parted the embrace a little bit, and smiled at Jun. It was oh, that cinnamon smile, the one that made Jun weak in the knees. He couldn’t help but smile back at him, and close his eyes as Conrad caressed his cheek.

“Is this real?” Jun asked, with a trembling voice as he refused to open his eyes.

“Yes, Jun, yes,” Conrad choked up. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I never asked—”

“And I never asked you either-”

“I promise I will do better, and take consideration of your feelings. Hell, it’s okay if you can’t forgive me for now,” Conrad rolled his eyes at himself. Jun opened his eyes and smiled sadly. “I just want you to know that I’m sorry that I fucked up… big time and multiple times while dragging you into my bad habits, without even checking if that was okay. You deserve better friends than me. A-and if things haven’t changed, you deserve… a better crush.”

Jun opened his eyes in worry. “No, Conrad… no, no, no. I mean- yes, I was hurt-”

“Yeah…”

“And I might deserve better than you-”

“Okay, ouch-”

“But I chose you, the most stupid, distracted, the worst airhead I’ve ever seen,” he numbered, his smile creeping into his face, “and the most handsome boy I’ve met, one with the brightest smile and the most beautiful eyes.”

He tilted his head in his smile, his dimple showing and his permed hair curling at his forehead. Conrad couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked, cupping Jun’s face with one hand. The shorter boy flushed violently.

“Huh… Conrad, oh my god!” He protested, hitting his chest with no real strength. “You haven’t even asked me to be your boyfriend yet! How shameless can you be?!” He hid his face on Conrad’s shoulder. Said boy laughed loudly.

“Actually, I have the perfect confession!” He sang merrily. Jun raised his head to glare at him.

“Please tell me it’s not a coupon.”

Conrad grinned and took out another folded paper from his trench coat pocket. Jun groaned and unfolded it. More colorful doodles, fruity ink gel and Conrad’s handwriting.

Limited Coupon! Free hugs, kisses, loyalty and commitment!

Expiration date: never

Redeemable since: today, over some ice cream, maybe?

The small red and blue hearts intertwined at the end of the note made Jun giggle. 

“You’re impossible.”

“And you’re annoying.

“You love me like that,” Jun teased, only to realize what he said and step back. “I- I didn’t mean-”

“No, Jun.I do… I love you like that,” Conrad stepped forward and held the boy close to him, putting their foreheads together and closing his eyes. “I love you, Jun. And I’d like to try again.”

Jun gave in, half smirking and rubbing their noses together. “Well, let’s. And since you asked so originally, you can kiss me now,” he said, brushing the other’s lips with his own as he spoke. Conrad’s grin was impossibly big.

“What a bargain,” he whispered back, closing the distance and pressing their lips together in the sweetest kiss they ever imagined. Jun’s heart was set ablaze, and felt that things would finally start looking good for him. This was just the beginning, he knew it. There were still lots of things to talk about and to clarify, but having these requited feelings was returning to cloud nine, in a much more safe and real way now. And he wouldn’t exchange it for anything else.

From another corner, Brian was raising an eyebrow at Tracy, Ghislain, Jeff and David.

“I’m going to tell them.”

“Oh, let them be, old man,” Tracy chided, eating her cookies with a smile. “It’s not like you didn’t have these escapades with Raj. We should stop spying on them and let them have their moment, anyways.”

“But Tracy,” Ghislain cried out with teary eyes. “Young love is worth the celebration!”

“Nope. Let them be, guys.” She tapped each one on the shoulder. “After all the bargaining obsessions that Mister Orzel has had and all the stress Jun had to go through because of that, they deserve to rest. Move.”

Brian rubbed his face. “As long as they don’t make out in my rink and as long as their scores rise up instead of fall down, I’m fine. I guess.”

“Oh, maybe they’ll book you a trip to Thailand for you and Raj. There’s traveling coupons, you know. Maybe a little escapade would suit your marriage, Brian!” Tracy teased, dragging the others away. 

“Tracy?!”

“So tell me, Conrad, how did you realize you liked me?”

“I…”

“I shoved him the footage compilation of all your coupon dates on his face, told him numerous times that he was too gay to function for it to be fake and after some conditioning, it was a piece of cake.”

“Oh. Thank you, Roman.”

“Besides, if you managed to fuck up an instant ramyeon in front of a ramyeon lover and still be able to tell the tale, I think it’s true love coming from Jun’s part.”

“Roman!”