Chapter Text
If you’re reading this, I’m dead. Really sorry I couldn’t come and say goodbye, but… Not everything works out the way we want. And, unfortunately, war is one of these things.
Things have been looking bleak for the Alliance for a while, I’m afraid, but I’m sure you’re aware of that. Ever since the Empire turned their attention to us, it hasn’t been pretty. They just can’t seem to lose, and it’s all that damned professor’s fault. Not even Claude can see into her head. Every battle we’ve fought against the Imperial forces has ended in catastrophic failure. They’re too big. Too good.
At the time of writing this, myself and the Golden Deer have holed up in Derdriu. This is our final stand. We are making preparations for the battle. But I have an idea. One that can change the course of the war. All I need is Claude’s permission, and the Imperial Army will be levelled. Reduced to cinders.
And if he doesn’t agree to it, I’m casting the damned spell anyway.
I’m writing this letter to you, Mom, Dad, with the knowledge that I have a high chance of dying because of this. But this might be the Alliance’s only chance of winning. I am willing to sacrifice my life for the sake of my home. Of my family. With this dying act, I shall ensure your safety.
But I wouldn’t leave you with nothing. Alongside this letter should be a chest. Inside you’ll find something that will ensure House Ordelia’s life and luxury until you two have passed on. In comfort, without worry. You’ll know what it is when you find it.
Lots of love,
Lysithea.
Tears sting her eyes as she finally sets down the pen, sliding away the sheet of paper so she doesn’t ruin the letter. Lysithea rests her head on her hands, propped against the desk tucked away into the corner of her room, breathing in slow and shaky breaths. This is what it has come to. She always knew she would die young, would never live a full life. But this, writing a final message to her parents in preparation of her impending demise, brought the reality to a whole new point. She simply cannot find the strength to keep in her tears, to hide these emotions. It’s truly happening, and by her own fruition. This isn’t just some possibility, her dying young. This is reality - war - that she’s facing, and it hurts. To know you’re about to die, about to send yourself to death so everyone else can survive, it’s a powerful burden. But one Lysithea, and Lysithea alone, has to bear. She is a powerful fighter, an unmatched sorceress. She has the power required to do this, and her alone. She knew this burden wouldn’t end pretty, but at least she can die a hero. Die as someone no one will ever dare to undercut the worth of. With her death…
The Adrestian Empire will perish.
Today is the day the Imperial forces reach the city. The preparations were finished the night before, but Lysithea doubts very many people got much sleep. The civilians have been thoroughly evacuated, all that’s left in terms of life within Derdriu are the soldiers sworn to defend the Aquatic Capital. Led by the Golden Deer, an elite group of eight among Leicester that has dealt with the skirmishes between noble houses brought up by the war. Leading the Golden Deer is Claude, and as much as Lysithea cannot stand him, he’s a good leader. Knows what he’s doing, and his strategies in battle have made him known across all of Fodlan as the Master Tactician, which is a major part of why the Alliance has stayed out of the war for so long. But here, today, the Deer’s mission is not to stop some noble argument from turning into a battle, or help General Holst with fending off Almyra (missions that always take some convincing for Claude to agree to), it’s defending the capital of the Alliance from the Imperial invasion.
Lysithea has seen the scout reports. The Empire outnumbers their forces two to one, and the strategist is Byleth. Professor Byleth. A general who has never lost a battle, even in the days of the Academy five years ago. She knows what she is doing, but so does Claude. So does Lysithea. Which reminds her of the strategy meeting to happen within the hour. She wipes away at her eyes, making sure the tears that had welled from writing the letter are gone, before finding a place to put the letter. She first seals it, rolling the sheet of paper into a scroll shape and getting her wax together for the seal, the symbol of House Ordelia now imprinted on the letter. Lysithea then places it carefully on the center of her desk, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves before leaving for the meeting.
Stepping into the war room, Lysithea sees Claude to be the only one there, staring out into the city from the building’s balcony. She can’t possibly be late, she left early. But she hadn’t expected to be this early. Stepping beside the Golden Deer leader, Lysithea looks out alongside him with crossed arms. A silence is passed between them for a few seconds before Claude finally breaks the silence.
“This is it,” he says in a surprisingly quiet tone. Lysithea can’t help but to look at him from hearing that. This is a war, yeah, but she expected the guy to be his lighthearted self. It’s always how he is in the face of danger. “Yeah. Almost doesn’t feel real.” Claude looks to her, a brow raised.
“I can see it on your face. What are you planning?”
“Hey, that’s my question!”
This makes Claude laugh, but it’s obviously empty. The anticipation really is getting to him, for him to let something like that be known. He shakes his head, a smile now touching his lips. His gaze tells Lysithea he isn’t going to relent on the question.
“I have a plan that could win us the battle without any major casualties.” This clearly piques Claude’s interest, and he turns to face her. “I’ve been preparing a spell that can take them out all at once. I’d just need the time to cast and they’d all be-”
“And you?”
“Huh?
“What will come of you?”
Well, that’s the question she didn’t want. But, she knows Claude at this point, he won’t just let her die if it can be avoided. The problem is… “It doesn’t matter what will happen to me. The Empire’s advance will be stopped in its tracks. They’ll lose their greatest general! Does one death really outweigh all of that?”
“I am not going to lose you, Lys.”
That nickname. She’s told him endlessly to stop calling her that. To the point that she’s just given up trying. But why does she matter above everyone else? She has a short lifespan anyway, with this her death would mean something! Have an impact. Her death will mean victory, so why won’t he allow it?
“Claude, think about it. I will get rid of the entire opposing force at the cost of just one casualty on our side? That’s an impeccable deal. I don’t see why I would be more important than-” Claude then stops her with a hand to her mouth. It takes a lot of willpower to not bite his hand, instead swiping at his arm so it goes away. “The hell was that for?”
“I am not going to let you do that. Doesn’t matter how good it is, we’ll figure out something better. That’s why…”
Lysithea doesn’t hear him over the roar in her ears. How can he be this stupid? This is a foolproof plan, and she’s going to carry it out! And finding something better? Not only is that unlikely, as they would need a miracle and a half to take on the invasion in direct combat, it is incredibly insensitive! Claude didn’t even hear out her idea before tossing it to the side, as if it came from a child! Here Lysithea was thinking he would grow over that considering the circumstances, but wow. Guess she hoped for more than he can offer.
“Find something better will you?” Lysithea starts saying, her voice growing in volume suddenly, “Why, because I can’t come up with a good idea? I’m not a child, Claude, and I have thought this through completely. You just think I can’t strategize because I’m younger! Is that it?” Claude’s face betrays something akin to surprise, but he quickly responds.
“No, that isn’t it at all. I just don’t-”
“Want me to die? Why would you care, other than the five years we’ve been working together? You of all people should know what I can do. That I can do this without a problem! So what if I die from it, because there is no chance for them to survive! All I need to do is act!”
Claude sighs, “That isn’t what I’m saying, and you know it. I don’t want anyone to die here, if possible. And with you expecting this spell to kill you, I cannot allow it without hearing everyone out.”
“Like any of them can think of something with the numbers we’re facing,” Lysithea mutters. She turns away from Claude, shaking her head as she walks off. She finds a seat and slumps into it, crossing her arms tightly while staring at the table blankly. She understands the need to listen to everyone, but what can they input? The odds are so heavily against the Alliance that she can’t think of any other option, surely Claude sees that!
Her eyes wander to him, seeing their tanned leader facing the city again, leaning over the railing. She can’t see his face, but she can imagine it. See the determined stare he’s likely making, his brows furrowed as he thinks about their options. The subtle glint of worry in those mysterious green eyes… Wait. Is she doing this again? No no, get out! Damn it all, he’s gotten into her head again. How does he even do that so much? Honestly, she can’t seem to go a week without his image or voice popping up in her head in the middle of the night. It’s so stupid, how did she even let this happen?
Yet, Lysithea can't seem to stay angry at Claude. Irritated, absolutely, but not angry. Mad. Not anymore, at any rate. He always manages to get back on her good side, to make her feel better about a situation. Is it humour? That irresistible charm? His good… Damnit. She's doing it again. Lysithea's face burns with embarrassment upon realising what she's just been thinking, and the hand resting on her lap clenches into a tight fist. At least Claude can't see her like this. Brought to a flush at the mere thought of him. Unable to get him out of her head, no matter… Wait. Is he…
The small jerk of his body from a stifled laugh answers the question, and Lysithea burns with anger even more. He was watching her! The audacity of this man! Does Claude think she can't sit in a chair on her own? Think she has to be watched at all hours of the day? "What do you want?" she calls out at him, internally begging that the hostility in her tone hides the embarrassment, draws attention away from the burning on her cheeks.
"Nothing special," he tries to reason, turning in place to lean back against the railing and look at her. The smug grin just makes Lysithea even more mad.
"Really? So why the laugh? Why watch me?"
"Just worried about ya-"
"Worried? So what, you think I can't handle waiting for the other Deer to show up?"
"Lys, that isn't-"
Lysithea is suddenly standing, her chair having slid back from the force of her movement. Her closed fist slams on the table, which hurts her more than anything. "I told you to stop calling me that! I don't need a Goddess damned nickname, Claude ," she spits out the name with a venom to push her point, "so just back off already!"
A notable shift of expression touches Claude when she tells him to leave her alone. No longer playful and joyous, but more… Is that hurt? Wait, did she go too far? She didn't mean to. Oh no.
"Back off?" He says, crossing his arms over his chest. It's clear he's serious now. "When you just stated you plan on killing yourself to end this war? Not a chance."
"Like I need your opinion. It's my life, and it's not like it'll last long anyway! So why not give it up here?"
Claude hesitates. "Because you matter. To us. Imagine the impact your death could have on the team, Lys. If you could just-"
"I told you to quit calling me that!" Lysithea goes far louder than she intended with that, but it's too late for her to back down now. She narrows her eyes at Claude, her fists only getting tighter. She can see the white around her knuckles. "And I have been thinking about it, I thought about it for days on end! I'm not a child, Claude, I don't make decisions like this on a whim." She can see him open his mouth to protest… something, but Lysithea doesn't give him the chance. "So how about you finally just back off and leave me alone, okay? I'm done with you and the way you treat me! Done! " She pushes off the table, making her way to the door in a visible rage. She almost misses the fact that some of the other Golden Deer have walked in. "I can fend for myself, make my own decisions. I don't need some charming ass to tell me what to do! I'm doing this, Claude, and there's nothing you can do to stop me. You know it."
If Claude tries to say anything, Lysithea doesn't hear it over the roar of her own irrational anger in her ears. She can't wait any longer, can't allow her life to come to a pitiful end when she's worked so hard to make an impact on Fodlan. Worked so hard to push past the stereotypes of the young, to show that age doesn't equate to skill. She can't let herself die in a battle. If she's going to die, it will be on her own terms. These are her terms.
"...So if you could just settle down, Lys, we would be able to talk this out." Claude's voice comes in clear over the white noise of Lysithea's rage. But it was too late. Something simply snaps in her head. Was it something he had said, something someone else said? Lysithea doesn't know. All she knows for sure is that a sudden bubbling feeling of emotion has exploded in her stomach, and she stops walking to the door to spin around. The swing of her hand accidentally sent everything sitting on the war-table flying across the room, and Lysithea's pink eyes pierce into those of Claude. "Το κάνω αυτό επειδή δεν θέλω να σε πληγώσει, γιατί σε αγαπώ!" she yells out in a spur of emotion, unable to hold herself back any longer. The Thyrsus had already made its way into her hand by the end of her statement, and Lysithea slams the butt end of the staff into the ground. When the impact is made, the mage is suddenly elsewhere, standing in the centre of an army of black and red armoured soldiers, many of them readying their weapons in surprise.
They'll never even get the chance.