Chapter Text
Kallus rolled over with a quiet groan as his alarm went off. Long hours and early mornings were part of his job and always had been, but even years of working as an intelligence agent hadn't done much to make him like them. And with how thinly stretched the rebellion's resources currently were, his days had been even longer and his mornings even earlier than normal over the past weeks. He felt like he'd barely sat down since the battle over Yavin, and things didn't show any sign of slowing down anytime soon.
He flicked the light on, blinking as the room brightened. It was a small space but there was more than enough room for him; he'd left the Empire with nothing more than the uniform he'd been wearing and he’d never been one to collect or hold onto things, so it wasn't like he had many belongings to crowd the space. He'd been surprised at first that he'd been given a solitary room, but he wasn't going to complain. He had a suspicion the assignment had had more to do with no one wanting to room with an ex-ISB agent as opposed to any consideration for his comfort, but he'd take it regardless of the reason.
His mind wandered as he got ready, the automatic movements of getting dressed needing little thought behind them. It would be a long day. The destruction of the Death Star was a major victory for the rebellion but it also put them in an extremely vulnerable position, revealing the location of the base to the Empire and making them vulnerable to retaliatory attacks. Even with the celebratory atmosphere the entire intelligence division had been on edge ever since the battle, searching for any sign of an incoming attack, and there had been a collective sigh of relief when command had made the official decision to abandon the Yavin base. There hadn’t been an official decision on which planet they would be moving to, but the decision alone was enough to allay at least some of the collective fears.
Moving the base wouldn’t be an easy feat, though. Kallus understood why there had been an official awards ceremony- pomp and circumstance and celebration were good for morale, and this was by far the largest victory the rebellion had achieved so far- but it had slowed down the process of readying the base immensely. Now that the celebrations were finally over with, things would finally start moving in earnest, and Kallus knew the process would be no small feat. Not only would they have to determine what was essential versus nonessential and go through the process of actually packing everything, but they also had to make sure that whatever was left behind wouldn’t potentially compromise them if discovered by the Empire. It would be a laborious process that required a significantly longer amount of time than they actually had, and Kallus had a sneaking suspicion that his already long days were going to get much longer before they got any shorter.
Kallus caught his reflection as he turned towards the small mirror in the corner of the room, the sight stalling his thoughts. It had been quick, but the brief flash as the light caught his eyes had been unmistakable. He walked over to the mirror, grabbing the small contact lens container on the ledge below it and opening it with a sigh. These were the one thing he’d brought with him when he’d defected, though it had been more of an accident than anything else- the result of habitually carrying an extra set on him at all times as opposed to any actual planning. He’d managed to make due with this pair ever since, but it was far from an ideal situation. These were good quality lenses and Kallus was near obsessive about properly taking care of them, but they weren’t made to last nearly two years. Even with proper care and careful use they were starting to show signs of wear; he’d done his best to ignore it but it was quickly getting to the point that he couldn’t. It wouldn’t be long before they either tore or got so worn that they were unusable, and that would be a bridge Kallus wasn’t entirely sure how he’d cross when he inevitably came to it.
He slipped the lenses in quickly. He’d struggled with getting them in at first but years of practice had made the process almost as automatic as getting dressed. Shirt, pants, shoes, contact lenses- Kallus had always been one for routines, and it hadn’t taken long for that to become a part of his morning one.
He glanced at the clock as he headed for the door, blinking several times before the numbers were finally clear enough to read. He could already feel the scratches on the contacts irritating his eyes. It had been an increasingly common issue over the past weeks, and he knew it was only going to get worse. He sighed, opening the door and slipping out into the still deserted hallway. All he had to do was get through today; what he’d do about the lenses was a problem for tomorrow him to deal with.
Zeb blinked blearily at the caf maker as it whirred, trying his best to ignore the noise and commotion around him. He loved celebrations, he really did. He’d long learned to take small victories where he could find them and enjoy them to their fullest, because who knew when the next one would happen? And something as big as the destruction of the Death Star deserved a celebration. Sabine had convinced him to play Mandalorian sabacc with her though, which had involved far more drinking than he’d intended to do- he hadn’t even realized sabacc could be a drinking game- and he was unfortunately paying the price for that this morning. Or early afternoon, he supposed. He had yet to actually look at a clock.
“There enough caf in there for two people?” Zeb meant to give a real answer but it just came out as a mostly affirmative grunt, and Kallus laughed. “Or maybe you should just take the entire pot. It seems like you might need it.”
Zeb groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “If Sabine ever challenges you to a game of Mandalorian sabacc, just say no. It’s not worth your pride.” He winced as someone called out across the dining area. “And definitely not worth the hangover.”
Kallus let out another small chuckle. “Duly noted.”
The caf machine dinged, the noise triggering both another wince and a jolt of relief as Zeb poured a cup and handed the pot to Kallus. It was still far too hot to drink but that didn’t stop him from taking a sip anyways- the caffeine was worth a slightly burnt tongue. “I’m guessing you’ve been up for a bit?”
“A little while, yes.” Kallus sighed and poured his own cup of caf. “There’s quite a bit that needs to be done and not very much time to do it, unfortunately.” Zeb raised an eyebrow; knowing Kallus, a little while could mean anything from a few hours to having been awake since three. Kallus frowned in return. “What?”
“Nothing, I’m just trying to figure out if you actually slept or not.”
Kallus rolled his eyes. “Yes, Garazeb, I actually slept.”
“I’ve seen you pull enough all-nights to know I need to ask. From what I hear, you’ve managed to get a reputation even among the intelligence division.” Zeb sipped his caf. “Which is saying something.”
“It comes with the territory.” Kallus fixed him with an unamused look. “Thank you for your concern, but I can assure you that it’s misplaced.”
Zeb grinned. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll believe it when you look well-rested.”
A bit of a smile crept onto Kallus’ face, though Zeb could see him trying to hide it. “Unfortunately, I think this is just how I look permanently now.”
Zeb elbowed him lightly. “Maybe, but I bet a few decent nights’ sleep could still help.” His grin faded as he looked around the room, finally taking in the commotion and bustle. Now that the celebrations had finished the base seemed to have shifted into overdrive. “I’m assuming you’re helping prep for the move?”
Kallus nodded. “We’re still waiting on official confirmation of where we’re going, but there’s still plenty that needs to be done in the meantime.”
“Yeah, the Ghost will be mostly involved in the actual move itself, but I’m sure there’ll be more than enough for us to help with until that actually happens.” Zeb’s PADD buzzed and he glanced down at it, sighing. “Speaking of which, Hera’s wondering where I am. Sounds like I’ve already got a job.” He looked back up, pausing when he saw Kallus rubbing at his eyes. He frowned, noticing for the first time how red they looked. “You sure you got sleep last night?”
“Yeah, just…” Kallus rubbed at his eyes again, sighing. “They’ve been irritated the past few days. Must be something in the air with all the activity.” He gave Zeb a tired smile. “It’s fine.”
“Alright…” It wasn’t the most convincing answer, but Zeb’s PADD buzzed again and he knew he needed to get going. “Try not to work yourself to death.”
“Mm, no promises.” Kallus was already looking at his own PADD as Zeb walked away, attention clearly shifting to whatever he had been assigned to do for the day. Zeb chuckled to himself as he headed across the room- he’d thought at first that Kallus’ habit of throwing himself into his work had been his way of trying to justify his place in the rebellion, but nearly two years in Zeb was starting to think that was just how Kallus was. It worried him at times but Zeb couldn’t deny it had helped Kallus find a place in the intelligence department so he supposed it wasn’t the worst thing, and he was sure it would be appreciated as the base prepared to move. Hopefully the move would be followed by a bit of a calmer period where they could all recover from the rush. He doubted it, but he could hope all the same.
Kallus stared at the torn contact lens on his finger with growing dread. He’d known this was coming. Even if they hadn’t torn it was to the point that he couldn’t effectively see while wearing them. Several days of irritated eyes and increasingly blurry vision had driven that point home.
There was a difference between knowing something was coming and actually being faced with it though. Kallus looked up at his reflection, taking it in and scrutinizing it carefully. Maybe no one would notice. That was the most likely outcome, honestly. People were far less observant than they liked to think they were, and something as subtle as this would likely go completely unnoticed by most. It would be fine. Probably.
He’d almost managed to convince himself when the light caught his eyes. The reflective glare was unmistakable, and very much not something a human’s eyes should be doing. Even the least observant of people would probably pick up on that. And you don’t exactly work with the least observant of people, do you? Kallus grimaced at the thought. He couldn’t exactly deny it, though- most people really were rather unobservant, but working in intelligence changed that. He worked with people who were trained to notice the smallest details of their environment. Small details like tapetum lucidum in someone who shouldn’t have it. He looked human enough and had learned to mask the aspects that were…less so, but without lenses there was little he could do about his eyes.
Kallus continued dressing slowly, the growing pit in his stomach getting heavier as the minutes passed. There was no getting around it, at least not for today. The contact lenses were completely out of commission, and they weren’t exactly the sort of thing he could casually pick up from the infirmary. Lenses like these were specialized. The chances of him being able to find them on the base were low. He’d most likely have to wait until he was off-world, preferably somewhere more urban- he was able to find them most reliably and most discreetly through…less than legal providers, and those were always easier to find in cities. He’d manage in the meantime. Bright places were less of a risk since his pupils weren’t as dilated, so helping out in the docking bay areas was probably his best bet. It was busy there too, lessening the chance that anyone would be paying enough attention to notice anything. It’d be fine.
It didn’t feel fine, though, as Kallus stepped out into the hallway, the door to his quarters sliding shut behind him. It was still early enough that the halls were still empty save for the occasional overnight shift worker or analyst with a particularly bad sleep schedule, but Kallus couldn’t shake the feeling of being observed. He’d gotten so used to monitoring his movements over the years that it had become automatic, but each movement suddenly felt so effortful to control. Was he walking right? Moving normally? Every person he passed sent a new jolt of panic through his chest; he knew it was probably just his mind playing tricks on him, but they all seemed to be staring at him, like they could already tell something was wrong.
He checked the time as he nervously waited for the caf to finish brewing. At this hour there likely wouldn’t be too many people in the intel division yet, so he could at least get a little work done there before heading to the docks. He’d told Commander Draven he’d start consolidating recent mission files to prep for transfer anyways, so he had to go there at some point. He could get that started now and then let it run for the rest of the day while he was elsewhere. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his heart rate as a group of late night workers wandered into the dining area. He could do this- he just had to be careful.
The intel area was thankfully deserted when he arrived. It’d no doubt be crowded in an hour or two, but he had time enough to get things started. Some of his panic died down slightly now that he was alone. The task at hand helped too; data consolidation was a relatively simple process but it required a number of steps that had long since become ingrained in Kallus’ memory, the familiarity of the simple but necessary steps giving him something to focus on. With the amount of data they’d need to transfer, he’d likely be doing this most mornings from now until the official move. They’d lost a number of their larger ships in the battle which meant they were limited in regards to the larger equipment they could bring- anything that could be consolidated, would be.
“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised you’re here this early.”
Draven’s voice startled Kallus out of his thoughts. Years of training kept his expression impassive, but he couldn’t do anything about the spike of fear in his chest. “With the move imminent, sir, I figured it best to get an early start.”
Draven nodded, glancing at the screen in front of Kallus. “There should be an official decision on where we’re relocating to in the next few days, so that will help us make a more concrete plan for what needs to be done.”
“That will certainly be helpful.” Kallus kept his gaze solidly downward, trying to lessen the chance of the light catching his eyes as much as possible. “This will likely take most of the day to fully consolidate, so I plan to help in the docking bays while it runs.”
“They could use the help.” Draven turned and began walking towards the command center. “Alert me if there are any issues with the data consolidation.”
“Of course, sir.” Kallus let out a shaky breath as Draven finally disappeared down the hallway. His entire body felt tense and on alert after the unexpected interaction. The commander hadn’t seemed to notice anything, thankfully. Other individuals had started filing into the area though, wandering in slowly with caf and tired expressions. Kallus glanced at the holoscreen- he was most of the way through the process that required him to actively be present, but there were several more steps he needed to complete before he could leave the area. Normally he wouldn't have minded, but each new person in the room sent his anxiety spiking even further. Would they notice? Would they catch his eyes at the same time the light did and see the shine that shouldn't have been there?
By the time he was heading down towards the docks he could feel his heart slamming against his ribs as his thoughts spiraled into near panic. He hadn't felt like this in years, not since he'd first realized after enlisting how important it was that people believe him to be human and the possible consequences if they didn't. He'd adapted quickly but the fear had never quite left, not even over the course of years. And now, without the lenses that had become an integral part of his routine, that fear surged forward with a strength he'd forgotten it had.
One of the dock workers looked up in surprise as Kallus walked over. "Draven looking for someone?"
“No, I’m actually here to help with any loading or unloading if you have use for it.” The surprise in the man’s expression grew and Kallus shrugged, trying to keep his face hidden without it being obvious- there was less of a risk here where it was brighter, but the risk wasn’t gone completely. “The task I’m running in intel will take most of the day to finish, so I figured I could be useful here in the meantime.”
The man stared at him a moment longer before shrugging and motioning to a set of crates by the wall. “We could use an extra set of hands, long as you don’t mind a bit of heavy labour.”
Kallus nodded, not bothering to respond out loud. The fewer conversations he had- and the shorter the conversations he did have were- the better. He headed over to the crates, the already growing rush of activity around him seeming to both calm his nerves and set them on edge simultaneously. More people present meant more people watching, which meant more risk of someone noticing. It wasn’t the quiet, focused activity of the intel department though. The docks were rushed and crowded- there were plenty of people present, but they were usually hurrying from one destination to the next or occupied by so many tasks that the chances of them noticing a slight flash of light in someone’s eyes seemed slim.
It didn’t really matter either way, he supposed. He’d already offered to help and there was nothing to be done about his eyes right now. All he could do was keep his head down and hope for the best.
Zeb held back a sigh as he made his way across the docking bay to where Kallus was helping load one of the ships. Even from here he could see how heavy the load was. It wouldn’t have been anything major for him to lift- it might have taken a bit of straining, perhaps, but nothing major- but Lasat were stronger than humans by a fair degree. Kallus was certainly strong for a human, but he was still very much human all the same. “You’re going to pull something, ya know that? And then you’ll be a right pain to deal with.”
Kallus didn’t even bother looking back as he finished loading the crate on the cargo platform. “I’m fine, Zeb. I know my limits.”
“Mm, maybe. Doesn’t mean you listen to them.” Zeb took a sip of caf, waiting until Kallus had turned around to hold out the second cup he was holding in his other hand. “Figured you could use this. And probably a break too, since you don’t take many of those.”
Kallus rolled his eyes but accepted the caf all the same. “Did you come all the way down to the docking bays just to nag me? I’m flattered.”
Zeb hit Kallus’ arm lightly. “Well someone has to make sure you’re not working yourself into the ground.” He leaned against one of the crates piled against the wall, glancing around the area. “Honestly a bit surprised to find you out here. I would’ve thought you’d be in the intel department helping with things there.”
“I’ve been consolidating data but that usually takes a while, and there’s plenty that needs to be done out here.” Kallus shrugged. “Figure I might as well go where I can be most useful.”
He seemed to be avoiding looking at Zeb, and Zeb paused. Kallus had seemed…off the last couple of days. Tense. After nearly two years he had certainly managed to find a place in the intelligence division, but the transition had been far from seamless and Zeb knew there were still members of the rebellion that held a grudge. “Everything been alright these past few days?”
Kallus frowned down at his cup. “Everything’s been fine, why?”
“Nothing, you’ve just been…jumpy the past few days, and it’s odd not seeing you in the intel department.” Zeb paused again, watching Kallus carefully. “No one’s giving you a hard time again, are they?”
Kallus sighed and finally looked back up with a placating smile. “I’m fine, Zeb. Really. There’s just a lot that needs to be done and not enough time or people to do it, so I’m helping where I can.”
“Mm.” Zeb knew pressing the topic wouldn’t get him anywhere, but he didn’t miss the slight tensing of Kallus’ shoulders. Trying to push would just land him with a pissed off and defensive Kallus though, which wouldn’t do anything to help. “You hear the official decision?”
Kallus nodded, taking a sip of his own caf. “Hoth will definitely be a climate shift.”
The official decision had only come down from command a few hours prior but Zeb had already heard multiple people grumbling about it for precisely the reason Kallus had brought up. “Maybe for you hairless humans, but I’ll probably only need a light sweater.”
“Yes, I suppose it won’t be as big an adjustment for you as it is for the rest of us,” Kallus laughed quietly. “Try to take at least a little pity on us hairless humans. We do our best.”
Zeb grinned. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.” He glanced around the docking area; things had been active over the past few days but the activity seemed to have a new urgency to it now that there was an actual destination in sight at the end of the move. “How’re things looking on your end for the move?”
“Things are moving along, but having Hoth as the destination complicates things.” Kallus sighed. “Electrical equipment is notoriously finicky in cold weather, especially the sorts of temperatures that are common there. We have to make sure that all pertinent information is available while also contending with both the physical space limitations of the move and the likely environmental obstacles once we get there.”
Zeb chuckled. “Yeah, I got a bit of an earful from Hera about how difficult the cold is going to make doing maintenance on the Ghost almost as soon as we got word of the decision.”
“Well, at least you won’t be on-planet all the time, so the ship will get a break every now and then.” After a moment Kallus sighed, downing the rest of his cup. “I should probably get back to helping. Thank you for the caf though.”
Zeb nodded, straightening back up. “Yeah I should probably get back to work too. Like you said, lots to do and not enough time to do it.” He headed back across the docking bay, pausing at the entrance to the main corridor. Kallus had already gone back to loading crates, but Zeb could still see some of the tension in his posture. Maybe he wasn’t having issues with any of the other agents, but something was bothering him, that much was obvious. Perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea to make himself a little more present than normal and keep an eye on things over the next few days. Just to be safe.
Kallus leaned back against the crates, taking a drink of water and trying to catch his breath. Afternoons on Yavin were beautiful but they were also hot, the humidity combining with the afternoon sun to make it almost unbearable. Most people had either adapted or seemed either mostly unbothered by it, but Kallus had never quite managed to get used to it. It was one of his favourite things about the intelligence division- it was near the command center in the heart of the base, surrounded by cool rock and shadow. Even in the heat of the day it managed to stay comfortable and while some of his colleagues complained it got cool at night, that at least had never particularly bothered him.
Out here, though, there was no escaping the afternoon heat. Even in the shadow of the docking bay he was soaked in sweat, and he knew it was just going to get worse over the next hour before the sun finally began to set. He wiped at the sweat on his forehead- he had heard plenty of people complaining about the upcoming change in climates, but by this point he was starting to quite look forward to the frigid temperatures on Hoth. Anything to get out of the heat. Thankfully the data he was consolidating today would take a while before it was finished; he’d have time to shower and clean up a bit before heading back to the intel department to finish it up.
Kallus nodded as one of the engineers passed him. His presence on the docks had garnered some surprise at first, but that had quickly faded and after a week his presence seemed to be regarded as normal. He supposed there were more than enough other things for everyone to focus on and worry about that the sudden presence of an intelligence agent helping load cargo wasn’t worth much mind. He watched as the activity of the dock continued to swarm around him. It wasn’t often that he had the chance to simply observe the base activity without being swept up along with it. He’d mostly spent his first few months on base keeping his head down and then there had been more than enough to do that time to relax and simply watch things had been rare. And there was certainly plenty still to do now- a few minutes to catch his breath, though, wouldn’t be the end of the world.
He watched curiously as a group of pilots hurried across the bay. Most of the group were humans, but two of the pilots were Sullustan. It had admittedly caught Kallus off guard at first how many non-human rebels there were when he’d first defected. He supposed it shouldn’t have- he’d spent nearly two years chasing the Ghost crew after all. Objectively he’d known the rebellion had its fair share of non-human members. Years of hunting various aspects of the rebellion had made him well acquainted with the rebellion’s high command and its various members, and even before defecting he would have been able to name at least a dozen non-human members off the top of his head.
It was different actually seeing it and being surrounded by it though. The Empire had always maintained an official veneer of plausible deniability and vaguely worded directives, but everyone had known the unofficial views on non-humans. There were some exceptions of course, individuals like Thrawn with enough cunning and sheer strategic skill to move up the ranks regardless, but they were few and far between. Fifteen years in the ISB and Kallus could count on one hand how many agents he’d come across that weren’t human. Here, though? Nearly a third of the pilots were Twi’lek, Sullustan, or Rodian. Half his commanding officers were a non-human race. What would have been nearly unthinkable- and certainly a primary topic for gossip- in the Empire was commonplace here. It was…nice, actually. Certainly a shift, but a welcome one.
He sighed and stood back up. The docks were interesting to watch, but he’d spent his few minutes recovering and it was time to get back to work. Engineering had brought up another pallet of equipment crates that needed to be transported, and they weren’t going to load themselves.
The observation was still on his mind as he loaded the last of the crates several hours later. The sun had set a bit ago but the sky wasn’t fully dark yet, some of the last rays still peeking over the tops of the trees. It had taken longer than expected to get everything done but he still had enough time to take a quick shower before checking in on the data consolidation, which was a blessing for both him and whoever happened to be in the intel department when he stopped by.
“Are we able to steal you from intel again tomorrow?”
Kallus turned, surprised. His presence on the docks may have drawn a bit of attention at first, but he’d made it a point to avoid any unnecessary conversation and the other workers had seemed perfectly content with that arrangement. “Yes, I’ll likely have a fair bit of time while I wait for files to finish consolidating, so I’ll be here if that’ll be helpful.”
“Engineering is sending up another batch of crates tomorrow, so we could definitely use you.” The worker smiled with a toothy grin that Kallus had come to associate with the Dressellian agents he worked with in the intel department. “You manage to lift those easier than any of the rest of us.”
Kallus nodded, keeping his expression neutral and trying to ignore the automatic jolt of panic in his chest- he hadn’t realized any of the other workers had noticed that. “I’ll make sure to be here then.”
He made his way off the dock and down the halls towards his quarters quickly, both out of anxiety and the desire to take a shower after spending the day covered in sweat and grease. Controlling his movements had been one of the first things he’d learned to do after enlisting. Monitoring his speed and the way he moved, adjusting his gait, keeping everything within the realm of what a human should be able to do- he’d spent years perfecting his ability to do that. It was harder in situations like these though. How much could a regular human lift? He was relatively large by human standards so lifting too little would look odd, but so would lifting too much. It had admittedly never been that much of a problem in the ISB; most of the situations where he was lifting or moving things had been during combat or equally chaotic situations, so his movements or how much he was lifting had been far from the first thing on anyone’s mind. The docks, however, were a different story. They were certainly busy but not quite that busy, and the workers were far more acquainted with what a normal human could lift than he was. He hadn’t properly considered that when he’d been looking for a way to stay out of the intelligence department until he could get another set of contact lenses- an oversight on his part, and one he would have to be careful to avoid in the future.
Kallus caught sight of his reflection as he undressed, considering it for a moment. How necessary was it for him to avoid that, really? By appearance alone, he easily passed as human. Perhaps a bit stronger than would be expected, even for someone his size, but still fully human. And in the week since his lenses had finally given out no one had noticed his eyes. He'd worked to hide them, of course, but still. Maybe he didn't need to be as focused on hiding it anymore.
The thought settled oddly in his mind. Nearly 20 years worth of habits were hard to break, and those habits had protected his career. They were ingrained in his behaviours, his routines, in the way he interacted with colleagues and command. That the rebellion welcomed non-human members so openly was wonderful, but even the brief consideration of others knowing he was one of those members sent his anxiety spiking and his sense of self preservation insisting he do anything but.
But still. Perhaps it wouldn't quite be the end of the world if it happened. He watched his reflection a moment longer before going back to getting ready to shower. There was nothing he could do about his eyes right now anyways, and trying to mimic something closer to regular human strength would seem odd now that some of the dock workers had picked up on it. Maybe minimum effort to hide things would be enough. At least for now.
Zeb knew he should be paying attention to the briefing. The move was quickly approaching, which meant that activity would be ramping up in order to get everything ready in time. There was already a lot to do and it would only get busier and more chaotic as the move got closer, and it was important that Zeb knew how and when things were going to happen. The Ghost would be running security on the larger transport convoys as they moved equipment to Hoth- no one was particularly a fan of having the large, relatively sluggish ships making this large of a jump but there was no avoiding it, so security escorts were the next best option. With so much being transported, though, multiple convoys would have to head out across multiple days, which meant an increasingly complex schedule of who was escorting what and when. It would be a far easier process if Zeb had as much information to work from as possible.
He found it difficult to focus on the information, though, his attention stuck on the person presenting it instead. Kallus was still spending most of his time these days on the docks, but that actually made him better suited to talk through the upcoming move logistics than just about anyone else. He didn’t just know the outline of where certain equipment was and what ships had the most vulnerable cargo- he had seen it loaded, if not actually loaded it himself. He talked through the information easily and with the confidence of someone who knew the information being discussed inside and out which, given how often Kallus was involved in briefings, certainly wasn’t surprising. To anyone else, he would come off as perfectly confident and at ease.
Zeb had been in enough briefings with Kallus to see the difference, though. He’d been keeping an eye on Kallus over the past week or so, the changes in his demeanor still worrying him. He’d gotten less jumpy and unsettled as the days had gone on which had been good to see, but the discomfort hadn’t quite gone away entirely. He’d never been a particularly social man but he seemed to avoid even passing conversations now, quickly rushing out of whatever ones he couldn’t avoid outright. Never quite overtly enough to be rude, but not quite subtly enough for it to be unnoticeable either. His newfound avoidance of eye contact was hard to ignore too- Kallus had never had an issue meeting people’s gaze even when he’d been on less than friendly terms with most of the other rebels, but he seemed to always have something else to look at these days. It seemed especially pronounced now, Kallus looking down at his notes for nearly the entire briefing even though Zeb doubted he needed them at all.
He’d tried asking Kallus what was up a few more times, but he had been met with either an excuse or a vague non-answer each time. He was just tired. It had been a long day. There was a lot on his mind. He was fine. Zeb didn’t get the sense that whatever was up was serious, but there was at the very least something bothering him. Maybe it really was simply the stress of the upcoming move, but Zeb doubted it- he’d seen Kallus handle far more stressful situations with far less of a reaction. Whatever this was, it was enough to bother him on a more personal level. It had been worrying at first and Zeb was glad to see it had gone down since he’d first noticed something was up. He knew trying to press further wasn’t going to get him anything except maybe an annoyed Kallus, so he supposed the best he could do was continue to keep an eye on things and hope that they continued to get better.
He bit back a sigh and tried to focus back on the briefing itself. Maybe once things had calmed down and Kallus was less bothered by whatever was on his mind he could ask again. Talking about things in the past tense was always easier than in the present moment, after all. Until then, though, he had plenty else to hold his attention. If he could focus it, of course.
Kallus leaned against the crate pallet, giving himself a moment to rest. The first ships would be leaving for Hoth by the end of the week, with the rest of the fleet following not far behind, so it was all hands on deck on the docks to get everything loaded and set in time. Thankfully most of the work in the intelligence division was finished which meant Kallus could devote nearly all his time to helping load the various ships prepping to leave; most of the intel division was helping in one way or another, either in the actual loading of cargo or the logistical side of things. Actual department assignments had lost most of their meaning- all that mattered was that everything be ready to go on time.
The dock activity was a near constant frenzy by this point. Kallus could feel the part of him that had spent years working with strict Imperial protocols cringing; the number of basic safety infractions he could spot with just a cursory glance was easily in the double digits. Nothing too unsafe, of course, but the urgency of the impending move was enough that everyone pretended not to notice if a few pallets weren’t quite secured properly as they were transported across the dock or if the clearance on either side of cargo transporters was maybe a little tighter than it should have been. It would have horrified him two years ago, but he supposed he’d gotten more used to the realities of rebellion since then. It wasn’t ideal but it was the reality of things.
“It’s an absolute kriffing zoo out here, isn’t it?”
Kallus glanced over at the mechanic who had come up beside him. He’d stopped avoiding conversation quite as much over the past week or two, but it still caught him somewhat off guard each time. “Quite. I’d say it’ll be nice to have it all done soon, but I suppose it’ll be just as hectic once we actually get to Hoth.”
The engineer laughed. “Oh yeah, that’ll be an absolute mess . I worked on the Kijimi docks for a while, and cold climates tend to wreak havoc on anything mechanical if you aren’t used to it, so I’m prepping for a rough couple of weeks at the very least.”
“Mm, lovely,” Kallus sighed. He had figured as much, but hearing confirmation from someone who had more experience with it wasn’t exactly uplifting. “It’ll definitely take some-”
He caught the slight shift out of the corner of his eye, the small movement standing out even in his periphery. The small box perched precariously on top of the crate seemed innocuous enough, but it was full of tools- far heavier than it looked. Far more dangerous if it fell on someone. And it was directly above the mechanic’s head.
It was less of a split second decision and more of a reaction without any conscious thought. The mechanic let out a small yelp as Kallus pushed him out of the way, turning to catch the falling box as he did so. It wasn’t an ideal position, the box landing heavily in the one outstretched arm he managed to get in position in time and nearly knocking him off balance, but he managed to steady himself before he lost his balance completely. He blinked, his brain finally catching up with what his body was doing. It was always a bit jarring when this happened, his body reacting before his mind had a chance to process what was happening, and it was only made more so by the effort he generally put in to intentionally avoid this exact scenario.
The mechanic stared at him, seeming just as caught off guard as he was. “I…” He blinked, gaze shifting from Kallus to the box he was now holding. “Thanks, I didn’t even see that above me. You probably saved me a pretty major trip to the infirmary.” He laughed nervously and looked back at Kallus. “Kriff, you’re fast .”
Kallus shrugged and set the box back on top of the crate, making sure it was plenty far back from the edge this time. “Battlefield instincts, I suppose. You learn to react quickly.” He sighed. “I suppose I should probably get back to work.” He gave the mechanic a small smile. “Less chance of something falling on someone if everything’s already loaded onto the ship and secured.”
The mechanic laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. “Yeah, fair enough. Thanks again.”
Kallus nodded and focused his attention back on the crates behind him. Everything around him still seemed overly sharp as the adrenaline from the sudden movement continued to work its way through his system. He usually did his best to temper his reaction times as best he could- and he had gotten quite good at it over the years- but reflexes were reflexes. Field work had made him quicker to respond so it wasn’t entirely a lie- the best lies never were- but it also glossed over the fact that he had started with a higher baseline. Not by much. But by enough.
He picked up one of the crates carefully. It was certainly heavy, but nothing he couldn’t handle; he doubted any of the other workers could lift it without help. Just like he doubted any of them would have caught the box in time. But, as he was quickly learning, people were perhaps less observant than he had long given them credit for.
Zeb wasn’t surprised in the least to see Kallus sitting by the wall when he wandered into the docking area. It was late and most of the base had turned in to prepare for the inevitable frenzy tomorrow once the first round of ships left for Hoth. Zeb knew he should probably be one of those people- the coming days would be hectic and exhausting, and it would be far easier to get through if he started it properly rested. He’d never been good at sleeping when the air was full of apprehension and anticipation though, and it seemed he wasn’t the only one. He sat down next to Kallus, settling back against the wall with a tired smile. “I’d make a pointed comment about the importance of sleep before the move starts in earnest, but I think it’d be a bit of the pot calling the kettle black by this point.”
Kallus laughed quietly. “I suppose it’s just nice to have a bit of company.” Zeb hummed in agreement and handed one of the two mugs of tea he was carrying to Kallus, who accepted it with a chuckle. “You clearly aren’t that surprised to find me up.”
“Honestly, I think I would have been more surprised if I hadn’t found you here.”
Kallus’ smile was a mix of amusement and exhaustion. “I heard the Ghost is heading out as part of the escort detail tomorrow?”
Zeb nodded. “With how much vital machinery and information is being transported with this first round of ships, command didn’t want to take any chances, so basically every crew available is going as security.” He leaned his head back against the wall. “Are you going with this round, or staying on Yavin?”
“I’ll still be here for a few days. The current plan is that I’ll head out with the third round of ships since that’s when most of the intel department’s data is being shipped out.”
Zeb glanced over. Even in the dim light he could see how tired Kallus looked. Everyone had been helping out wherever they were needed over the past few days regardless of their actual department assignment, but Kallus had been functionally working two different positions for over two weeks now. The tenseness and discomfort Zeb had noticed when Kallus had first started helping on the docks had thankfully disappeared as the days went on, but it had quickly been replaced by the tension of stress and being overworked. “Hopefully you’ll get a few moments of rest between now and then. Or on the journey to Hoth at the very least.”
“Maybe.” Kallus looked around the docking bay with an odd expression. “It feels weird to be leaving, honestly. Everything’s been so rushed and hectic that it hasn’t really sunk in until now.”
Zeb looked out at the space as well. The bay door was open and he could just see the edge of the forest illuminated in the moonlight beyond the runway and landing pads. The sound of the base activity was usually loud enough to drown out most other noise, but with most people in for the evening he could hear the sounds of animal and insect activity in the trees quite clearly. “Yeah, I guess it is kind of weird. I’m not sure it’ll really settle in for me until we’re actually on Hoth, but this has been the central hub for two years. This’ll definitely be a change.”
“Been a lot of those recently, haven't there?” Kallus’ voice was quiet and had a strangely thoughtful quality that drew Zeb’s gaze back towards him. “I’ve never been much of a fan of change, honestly, which I’m sure comes as an absolute shock .” Kallus laughed quietly but there was little humour in the sound, just the same thoughtfulness as had been in his voice. “Maybe some changes aren’t bad, though. Strange, yes, but not bad.”
Kallus had tilted his head as he looked out over the area, the movement combining with the subtle intensity in his expression into something oddly striking. Zeb couldn’t quite pinpoint what about either struck him so- it was a normal enough movement and he’d watched Kallus examine data and situations with far stronger and more focused intensity than this. Maybe it was the relative quiet after so many days of busy chaos. Or maybe it was just the exhaustion of preparing for the move finally breaking through all the apprehension and anticipation. Whatever it was, though, it was there, and Zeb found it surprisingly difficult to look away from. It left him with the feeling that he was witnessing the outcome of an internal conversation that he hadn’t previously been privy to.
After a moment Kallus sighed and sat forward. “I should probably try and get some sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be absolute chaos, and dealing with it sleep deprived isn’t going to make it any easier.” He gave Zeb a small smile and held out the cup of tea. “Thanks for this.”
“Of course.” Zeb watched Kallus as he stood up- whatever he’d noticed seemed to be gone now, shuffled back out of view. “If I don’t see you tomorrow, I guess I’ll see you on Hoth.”
Kallus stretched and gave Zeb another smile before setting off across the docking bay. “Safe travels. I’ll see you there.”