Chapter Text
Despite what people think of him, Tobio isn’t actually bad at understanding emotions. Okay, well, he doesn’t understand what people’s faces mean and what their tones mean and why people don’t just say what they mean and, okay, maybe he is bad at understanding other people’s emotions. But he isn’t bad at understanding his own.
He knows what he wants and what he feels even if he can’t articulate it using the same words as everyone else. He doesn’t know why it’s so difficult for people to understand what he’s feeling, because he’s always saying exactly what he’s thinking, but nee-chan did always tell him that it was easy to misunderstand him as unkind because of his face and tone. He didn’t get what she meant when he was a kid, but he understands now – a little bit. He has such a hard time understanding other people after all, so maybe he’s been a little unfair expecting other people to understand him, even if everyone else seems so much better at that kind of thing.
He thinks being at Karasuno helps a lot with that. With face and tone and words. With being kind and understood and understanding. Here, his senpais don’t talk over or around him, but actually stop and answer his questions. Tsukishima always clicks his tongue and makes some comment about him being dumb when that happens, but Tsukishima’s a bastard anyway, so Tobio doesn’t really care what he does. (That’s not true, he cares, but if Tsukishima gets too annoying about it, Sawamura-san steps in, so it’s alright.)
The best thing though, is having Hinata. He’s never, ever going to tell him, because the idiot will never shut up about it, but Hinata makes him better. Of course, having a rival (even though he’s a thousand years ahead of Hinata) pushes his volleyball higher, but Hinata makes him better everywhere else too.
And it’s…nice – having someone that gets him. It’s even nicer having someone who, when they don’t get him, doesn’t just assume he’s being an asshole on purpose, but gets in his face and makes him say what he’s thinking himself. Tobio’s not always good at that either, but Hinata will ask and ask and stay until Tobio finds the words.
Tobio knows everyone thinks Hinata is impatient and a little dumb, and he knows why they think that. Hinata is so desperate to improve his volleyball that he’s always asking to do more, always asking what’s next, always wondering why he can’t already be at the next place yet. He moves around like he’s silver in a pinball machine. He’s always jumping and yelling and speaking a mile a minute. He can’t pay attention in class and is always moving his legs or his fingers or his pencils. He doodles all around the borders of each page in his notebook and runs out of the classroom the second the bell rings. His grades are shit (not that Tobio can really talk) and his volleyball is shit (which, yeah, Tobio can definitely talk) and he treats everything like it’s a race all of the time (and sweeps Tobio right into his pace, dammit).
But, if it’s the right thing, Hinata is focused and (not that he’ll ever, ever admit it) pretty smart. The right things for Hinata are volleyball and people. When it’s about those things, he can concentrate and wait patiently (or least know he has to be patient and wait impatiently). He knows when to push, when to pull, and when to stop. Most importantly, he knows when to go, even when everyone else, even when Tobio, tells him to slam on the brakes.
Tobio gets the volleyball, because volleyball is incredible - the best thing ever - and it makes a lot of sense. It’s easy to just get volleyball. But people? People are so hard, but Hinata is so, so smart about them. It’s why he has so many friends and why he knows exactly which of Tobio’s buttons to push. He’s quiet when Tobio needs time to put his thoughts together and loud when Tobio’s trying to run away. He picks up the things Tobio doesn’t tell him and when he can’t, he makes Tobio communicate. When he can see Tobio isn’t following something, he’ll explain it without making it a big deal, without making him feel stupid the way so many of his classmates and teammates have before Karasuno.
He makes Tobio learn. Which is really important because, while he used to think learning about people was stupid, Kitagawa Daiichi taught him (the sound of the ball hitting the court taught him) that he couldn’t just assume everyone felt and did things the way he did. He couldn’t just hide in volleyball, away from people. Because volleyball is people. Volleyball is about being weak by yourself and being strong together. Hinata knows this, he’s always known this, so he makes Tobio learn. Having Hinata is great because he makes Tobio better.
Tobio gets Hinata too, which is the kind of awesome that feels like a miracle, because he’s never really understood anyone outside of jii-san and nee-chan, and nee-chan only sometimes. But understanding Hinata is easy, is like understanding himself, even as different as they are. He knows what makes him cry and what makes him laugh. He knows when Hinata needs to move and when he just wants to be in his own head. He knows what to say to Hinata, which has never happened before. But all the things that are “too much” to say to others are just right when he says them to Hinata. Tobio’s just right for Hinata.
Tobio’s never had a friend before, so he doesn’t know if that’s what this is, but he doesn’t think so, because it feels like more. Tobio is bad at other people’s emotions, but he’s good at his own. He knows what he feels even if he can’t use words other people understand, so he knows what he has with Hinata feels like more. It feels like breathing. It feels like flying.
It feels like volleyball.