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Imogen lay awake on her back, listening to Laudna recounting it all to Orym.
She had been surprised to hear the other woman begin to talk so openly about her past, a testament to how well their new group had settled. She didn’t want to listen in, but the weather had turned and it was making it difficult to sleep after becoming accustomed to the inns and taverns of Jrusar.
“I remember quite a lot, for better or for worse, I guess. My parents thought that getting an invitation to the palace, to the castle, to meet the Lord and Lady Briarwood was a great boon.”
Laudna’s voice picked up and Imogen already knew what was coming. Orym couldn’t have known what he was in for when he had asked, and Imogen almost rooted for him not to get taken in by the temporary uplift in Laudna’s tone as she told him all about the feast.
Orym said nothing. Imogen couldn’t see him, didn’t want to risk interrupting by stirring in their direction. The sound of the rain on the canopy above filled the silence with the occasional throaty bawl of a frog, and snap of the fire.
“You know what’s interesting about you?” Imogen closed her eyes as her eye lashes got damp. He must have heard the story elsewhere, must have made the connection, his voice betrayed him. Imogen hadn’t. She’d never heard much of what had happened in Whitestone, never forgiven herself for making Luanda go through it all in such excruciating detail when they’d had this conversation. Now she felt as though she were listening to someone show her how she should have done it, the guilt spiking at hearing Orym’s perfect tact.
“I would hope a great deal of many things.”
“Well there’s the obvious. But you’re the happiest person in this bunch.”
Laudna’s sadness weighed mentally against Imogen in stark contrast to how light she was keeping her outside voice.
“Well, of course. The worst thing that has ever happened to me has already happened.”
Imogen’s heart strained, pushing against the restraint the sorcerer was using to stop her mind from reaching out as it would any other time. She couldn’t ruin this for Laudna, she couldn’t get in the way of someone doing it right.
After a few more tense moments and a dozen more frogs, “What the fuck is up with that?” just about crested over the sounds of the Oderan night. Imogen almost smiled but it was quashed instantly.
“I remember being tossed clothes to wear, told to change. Be served a wonderful dinner- which we were, it was actually quite fantastic. Filet, a little surf and turf, some lobsters. And then…”
The fire crackled. Imogen wished hell on every Briarwood in every portrait of every generation of them since the beginning.
“And that was it. They dragged me away, separated me from my parents, was brutally beaten and then… It’s a little fuzzy after that but next thing I remember was waking up being hung from a tree.”
The silence grew heavier as the rain let up.
“It was the Sun Tree, actually. It was quite a spectacle.” Laudna fell back on her light, side tracked tone as Imogen recognised the awkwardness that came from doubting herself in conversation setting in.
“Yeah, I gathered.” Orym sounded much further away than Whitestone as he tried to come up with some semblance of an answer to the unexpected barbarism of Laudna’s past.
“Um… I’m- I’m so sorry.” He meant it, too.
Imogen could hear Laudna’s clothes rustle and could almost picture her leaning back, face nonplussed and trying to make it all seem like no big deal before it got too much for her and someone noticed.
“It was a long time ago.”
“Respectfully, so fucking what?”
Imogen’s brow quirked in the dark.
“I’ve had plenty of great things happen to me since then.” Imogen reached out, selfish. She didn’t want to disturb this in any way, but she so desperately hoped she was one of them.
She was all of them. Every memory that swirled across the surface of Laudna’s mind like leaves blown up by a gust of wind contained her colours. Imogen’s spell casting she had never known Laudna was paying such attention to, their times together camping just like this but just the two of them against the world, Imogen falling asleep on Laudna’s chest when she’d sworn she was just resting her eyes. Even the little flashes of Imogen defending her against their friend’s playful teasing made their way into the mix, somehow no less inferior to Laudna than the times they’d almost died for each other.
“It honestly doesn’t even feel like it was me. Different life, y’know, as they say.” The darker memories bubbled up again past the lavender maelstrom.
“Well,” Orym sighed and then blew sharp air from his cheeks. “Sorry. It’s really cold out but I’m feeling kinda hot-” He sounded flustered and suddenly the tension dissolved, as if Imogen’s ears had popped and the dull pressure in the air had returned to clarity.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I am, yeah.”
The silence was more comfortable now, even to an eavesdropper.
“Don’t you pay any mind to me or my past,” Laudna said earnestly. “Focus your brain forward. It’s not worth being sad about what can’t be changed.”
“Well I know that to be true… I’ll… I’ll just leave that between you and me if- I don’t want to-” He laughed a little in disbelief. “That’s a lot.”
“You see this? You see my ears?”
Imogen went rigid, snapping her mind back away from Laudna’s. This was what she dreaded. This was where she could never get it right in her head, figure out what to say or do.
The sound of the gold cuffs clinking together in Laudna’s palm as she took them off almost made Imogen sit up for air, too hot just like the halfling.
“I wear these to hide it because people get all ‘ugh’ gagged out about it, but… they cut my ears, to make them pointy. To further match whatever warning signal that I was.”
“You seem okay now, but…” Small feet shuffled through the leaf litter on the ground and the sound of Laudna’s skirts being bunched together signalled a hug from Orym.
The both spoke awkwardly at the same time, before Laudna pulled back physically and verbally.
“What? No, sorry-”
“Nobody should have to face anything like that.” Orym repeated, quiet and stoic. “I am sorry. And I’m… impressed. With you.”
“Thank you. That’s very kind. It is strange, I don’t think anyone’s apologised for that- it’s not really your place, but- ah! You know. Means a lot.”
Imogen could feel Laudna was smiling again, on the outside.
“Not for it, just… Words don’t really handle that.”
“I think it’s clear that you empathise because you understand. I’m sure you’ve had many a bad day. But we’ll talk more about that next watch!”
The last dregs of the heavy mood dissipated to the sounds of a small boot hitting Chetney’s ass.
“Hm? What time is it?” Chetney sat up without really waking up.
Orym laid down on his back and stared up at the patches of sky through the leaves. “No idea. I think either just before or just after Three.”
The woodworker was too drowsy to pick up on the teasing. “Hmm. ‘Kay.”
“I think I’ll stay up for a little longer.” Laudna said, wishing Orym sweet dreams without a hint of irony.
Chetney fell back asleep sitting up after five minutes, and finally Imogen sat up.
“Joining me for watch?”
Laudna was sitting on the huge fallen log that sheltered half of their campsite, staring into the embers of their fire. Both elbows were on both knees, forearms crossed at the middle and hands facing palm down.
The biggest red flag was Pâté. He was limp in her left hand, long pale fingers around his chubby middle, no talking, no strings, no shadows. When she held him like that, you’d never know he had a name at all, like an object already half forgotten- and so she never did. But that wasn’t the only thing; she had never put her cuffs back on, both of them loose in her other hand with just her hair protecting her ears from sight.
“Seems you’re one down.”
Chetney snored.
“At least he’s consistent, now Fearne knows it wasn’t just her.”
Imogen huffed a laugh and stepped around the gnome to come and sit by Laudna. Maybe now was the time?
Laudna put an arm around her instinctively, then quickly realised Pâté was still in her hand. Imogen took him and passed him back to her lap.
Imogen put her head on Laudna’s shoulder.
“Laud?”
“Mm?”
“I’m really sorry.”
“There’s a lot of that going around. But what for?”
“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable about your ears when I got upset about them. I know we only talked about it the once but I’ve felt ever since like I fucked up with how I handled it.”
“Were you awake for all of that?”
Imogen looked up guiltily. “I swear I didn’t mean t’be, I just didn’t wanna interrupt and-”
Laudna leaned down and pecked her on the lips. “It’s fine, I wish you had come over here, is all. I’m not good at… that. Do you think he could tell?”
“I’m sure he could sense you weren’t comfortable but I doubt he expected you to be.”
Orym lay awake a few feet away, exhaustion not enough to stop Laudna’s story playing over and over. He was sure he’d just heard them kiss. He wasn’t close enough to hear what they were saying but perhaps Laudna and Imogen were closer than he’d realised.
He lay still, praying he wasn’t also about to be voyeur on top of everything else. He tried harder to go to sleep.
“Perhaps not. Anyway, what’s all this about my ears, darling?”
Imogen put her head back against Laudna’s shoulder to hide her face.
“It’s just… After we talked about it. You got the cuffs. And I’ve always been afraid that maybe it was because of how I reacted that made y’feel like you needed to hide behind them.”
“Well… They made you dreadfully upset. And they were… off-putting. To people we tried to trade with. It seemed like a good solution.”
Imogen sat up, leaning forward with both palms on the log tight against each hip. “As long as you know I got upset like that because of how it happened to you, not because I was disgusted or anythin’. I’m not, at all. I’m not like those people.”
Laudna tipped the cuffs from hand to hand.
“I know you’re not. But the reassurance is good to hear all the same. Honestly now I just think they kind of suit me.” She held them up to catch in the low fire light.
“They do.”
“That’s the main thing.”
“That is the main thing.”
The sorcerer gingerly tucked Laudna’s hair behind her ear on one side. While clearly unnatural in their shape, they were healed at least. From a distance, it might almost be hard to tell Laudna wasn’t just part elven, it wasn’t until you got up close that they bore the strange edges and scars of savagery Laudna had endured. Imogen tugged Laudna forward by the ends of her hair and kissed her again, then her cheek, then up to the shell of her ear.
Laudna’s arms locked around her middle with an appreciative hum and Imogen smiled, snaking her own arms around Laudna’s neck in return.
“You should get some sleep.” She said against dark hair, fighting to keep her own eyes open. “Knowin’ our luck, something’ll try t’eat us tomorrow.”
“That would spice things up a bit.”
Imogen pulled back from Laudna and stretched one arm up above her head with a yawn. She fished a stone up from the forest floor and threw it weakly at Chetney. It bounced from his hat to his lap and he woke with a start.
“I’m awake!”
“Come on, old man, you slept through 3am again.”
“Fuck you…”
Laudna dropped down to sit on the forest floor and lay her head back onto Imogen’s lap to sleep. Imogen played idly with Laudna’s hair and Chetney started to whittle, chips and shavings falling directly onto the back of Ashton’s sleeping head.
“You know that wasn’t really the ‘end’, the end, right?”
Laudna’s thoughts were sleepy and messy spilling back out towards Imogen.
“I’m sure it was just the beginning.”