Chapter Text
"Hey, man-"
Akira threw himself on the chair with a loud groan, hiding his face in his arms. Thankfully Big Bang Burger was mostly empty and no one could see his pitiful state.
"Huh... Tough day?" Futaba asked, taking a monster bite out of her burger.
"He's clueless! I mean, yeah it's my job and I can't be too obvious about it but still! What should do? Change his last name to Kurusu? Commission Yusuke to make fanart of us!? What. Am. I. Missing?"
"Have you tried just asking him out like a normal person instead of giving him free heart-shaped cookies? Not everyone is psychic, you know?" Ann was so fed up with his bullshit by now, watching him fail miserably trying to ask out a guy hurt her pride as the romance expert of the group. "Or maybe he's not interested in you, maybe he's straight, have you thought about that?"
"Impossible! I refuse to believe pancake boy is straight. No straight man is that interesting, charming and takes care of their appearance like that, no offense, Ryuji."
"None taken." The blond shrugged. "You're not wrong."
"Perhaps I missed a lot while I was in L.A., what exactly are we talking about?" Yusuke, clueless as always, chimed in. No one told him about Akira's new, humiliating crush.
"Oh Inari, you're in for a treat. Akira has to deal with this costumer that is kind of a grumpy-grandpa and he orders super complicated drinks everyday challenging him, y'know, like a queer-coded videogame antagonist? Yeah." Futaba started. "And Akira thinks he's really hot but Ryuji was there during one of his visits and he thinks he's just a stuck up little prince, so we don't know who to trust, the horny bisexual or the super straight."
"Ugh, he looks like a clichê romance movie character, i kinda see why people would be into him." Ryuji said, finishing his soda. "But he's kinda annoying. I'm calling him Mr. Ass from now on."
"And here I thought I was the only one looking at it." Akira mumbled while stuffing his mouth with stolen fries.
"Bro, what!? Also, gross."
"Yeah, so, Akira's flirting with him and he's been trying to ask pancake boy out on a date for two months... I think you've already noticed it's not going well." Futaba finished her burger.
"I don't know what to do anymore... Guys, come one, let's brainstorm ideas to get me laid. Futaba will take notes."
"Ew, no." She answered. "Actually, sure, five bucks each paragraph."
"Akira, I repeat, why don't you ask him out like a normal person?" Ann tried again.
"I know! Let's roleplay, I'm Pancake lover, you're the stupid barista, 'kay?"
Maybe Futaba saw Akira's suffering as some kind of free entertainment.
"Okay, okay..." He cleared his throat. "Uh, hey, sugarplum... Nope, not that, let's try again."
He heard Ann sigh by his side.
"Good afternoon, Akechi." He put on his best charming smile. "You've been gone for a while, I thought you gave up on good coffee."
Akechi smiled back at him, that pretty prince-like, fake smile. "Not just coffee, I gave up on decent customer service too, I guess coming here most days is ruining cafes for me."
"You wound me..." He suddenly felt very nervous. He spent the last days (roleplaying) practicing his speech and how he'd ask Akechi out, but now, looking at his sharp maroon eyes, he felt intimidated. "So, I-"
"Anyway, I want a venti, chai tea latte, with soy milk, 6 pumps of chai, add dolce cinnamon powder please, and make it extra hot."
Ah this shit again. Akira swears Akechi will come in with a grocery shopping list someday and tell him to give him all that's written on the paper.
He wrote down the stupidly complicated order, and of course, threw in some teases and subtle pickup lines while at it. He took Akechi's order to his usual booth, teased him a little bit more and went back to clean the counter.
It took about a minute until Akechi marched back with his cup in hands.
"I take it you're not happy with your chai latte?" Akira asked innocently.
"What the fuck did you write on my cup?" He asked, putting the cup a little too aggressively on the counter.
"It's only a friendly invite... Is that a no?"
"No, it's not a- I... Oh you're mocking me, aren't you?"
"Huh? No, of course not. I'm serious. The choice is totally yours. Let's do it like this..." He wrote his number down on the little notebook he used for work. "I'll give you my number. If you do want to go out for coffee with me, preferably somewhere I don't have to make it, you can just text me. I won't bother you about it."
Akechi stared at the piece of paper in Akira's hand as if it was dangerous. For a moment, Akira felt like he fucked up and all the signals he thought he was getting were figments of his imagination. But then Akechi huffed and took the paper, shoving it in his pocket immediately.
"Whatever... For the record, the drink wasn't that good."
"Oh no, poor me." He chuckled. "I'll get you next time."
He'd been jumping around for at least five minutes now, this time it isn't just Ann, all his friends were fed up with his bullshit.
"I'm glad you finally made it but he didn't say yes, right?" Ryuji said while getting his ass beaten by Futaba in some random game they were playing. "Just don't get your hopes up, he's still Mr. Ass, he might shut you down."
"Ok Ryuji, first of all, shut up, second of all, stop trying to destroy all my dreams and third of all, thank you for looking out for me but still, shut up." He sat down, holding his phone hoping to get a new text from someone very specific.
"Just chill dude, you're very nice and attractive, no homo, and like I’d be- WHAT!? Just a second bro..." He went back to being 100% focused on the game.
"For the record, I think he's totally into you." Ann didn't even look up from her phone, probably texting Shiho. "I wouldn't go back to the same cafe everyday just to have a coffee competition with a barista, not unless I'm their friend or want to get their attention somehow."
"Yeah..." Akira sighed and looked at his phone for the billionth time. "Ugh, why hasn't he texted yet!?"
"Look at you, a twenty-six year old acting like that over a boy crush... Shiho's gonna love hearing about this."
"Stop bullying me, I'm desperate..."
"Fuck!" Ryuji apparently lost the round.
"Y'know, I could totally be a super cool sis and write some fics about you two if he doesn't go out with you." Futaba turned to face Akira right after the game ended. "I'll even make it E rated if you want... Commission Yusuke for some scenes..."
"Please don't write porn about me, you're my younger sister... I'll think about that Yusuke commission tho."
"Ok, but if he does text you and you two go out... Where are you taking him?"
"Uh..." He may not have prepared enough for the occasion. "... Yeah, I don't think I planned anything, to be honest."
"What!?" Ann basically jumped out of the couch. "You are unbelievable."
"Dude... Even I'm telling you that's dumb of you." Ryuji shook his head. "Take him somewhere cool like the arcade! Every guy likes video games."
"Nah, he's more of an eighties movie character that plays blues while reading books about... I don't know, global warming or something. I can't see him playing video games."
“Big Bang Burger?”
“I think he’d kill me with a straw, he looks classy….”
"You invited him out for coffee... Take him to that cafe that has the super popular strawberry cake, I went there with Shiho and it was the best cake ever." The blonde shoved her phone on Akira's face, showing him the cafe's address. "Plus we took some cute pics together, wanna see?"
"Yeah that actually doesn't sound half bad, he really likes sweets..." Akira grabbed his phone to search more about the cafe.
“Ok, focus on Akira’s love life, it’s not like i wanted to show you the pictures…” Ann huffed.
“Sorry, Ann, send them to the group chat…” Akira read the reviews on the cafe, pleased to see most of them were positive. “The place looks good and the reviews are-Oh my fucking god” He said but it sounded more like a sequence of gasps.
"What happened?" Ryuji tried to look over his shoulder.
"He just texted me."