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Twyla has always been somewhat of an enigma to David, even after she started dating his sister. Her bubbly personality is so opposite of David’s gruff demeanor that David’s struggled bonding with her. Twyla’s been dating his sister for nearly two months after Alexis and Ted mutually parted ways and after Alexis chose to remain in Schitt’s Creek; however, outside of a few, brief interactions with her at the café or forced small talk while she waits for Alexis, David and Twyla have never gotten to know each other.
Does David feel bad about not connecting with Twyla more? It doesn’t really bother him, to be honest. Twyla isn’t the type of person David would normally be friends with anyway. He doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal that he isn’t close with Twyla.
But it does bother Alexis.
Since she started dating Twyla, Alexis has tried multiple times to force them into bonding situations. Once, she took a fake phone call when they were all at the store. It wasn’t subtle, considering she dragged Patrick along with her because she needed ‘help’ with the call, leaving David alone with Twyla.
In an attempt to break the silence, he showed her some of their new bath products. Twyla then told a disturbing story about her grandma choking on bath salts because she thought they were Dippin’ Dots, and David had no clue how to respond. After that, they just stood there awkwardly until Alexis and Patrick returned.
Recently, Alexis has been pressing him more than usual to get to know Twyla, and today, she seems especially adamant about the idea. Alexis has some press conference for Interflix in Toronto, and she wants David to keep Twyla company while she’s gone. It just happens that Patrick will be out of town then, too. David knows it’s just a coincidence that his husband’s seminar intersects with Alexis’s trip, but it still feels like he’s being tricked into a targeted intervention.
“Please, David? Twyla will be so lonely without me here!” Alexis begs with a pouty face.
“I think she’ll survive,” he groans, pawing at Alexis who is accosting him in his own home.
“Just do one fun activity with her!”
“Why do you want me to get to know Twyla so badly, anyway? You never cared if I liked any of your partners before!”
“Because Twyla…she’s different than everyone else. She’s special to me, and I want you two to have a closer relationship.”
David waves his hand lazily. “We get along fine. Isn’t that enough?”
“I love her , okay?!” Alexis exclaims. “I…I can see a future with her. And since you’re both important parts of my life, I want you to do more than just tolerate each other.”
A smirk plays on his lips. “I’m an important part of your life?”
“Ugh, of course you are, David,” Alexis groans. Then, softer, “You’re my big brother, and I sometimes care what you think, okay? So will you do this for me?”
Alexis’s eyes are wide and pleading as she sucks on her bottom lip. This side of Alexis, sincere and open in her words, is one David rarely ever saw before they moved to Schitt’s Creek. And never has Alexis acted so comfortable and secure a relationship, not even with Ted. David knows his sister has grown, their whole family has, but these moments are still surprising.
“Fine. I’ll invite Twyla over to the house for one afternoon,” David decides.
Alexis squeals, shaking her fists and bouncing on her heels. “Yay David! You’re going to have so much fun, trust me. Twy is the best.”
A ping of Alexis’s phone interrupts them. She glances at the message, and a dreamy, entranced look falls over her face. She presses her lips together, holding back a smile, and types back.
“Twyla?” David asks knowingly.
“Yes, actually. How did you…?”
“The look on your face,” David gestures toward her. “It’s the same face I make when I’m thinking about Patrick.”
“A face? I don’t make a face.”
Alexis’s reaction is so similar to his own denial when Stevie first mentioned David’s spellbound expressions around Patrick. “You do. It’s an ‘ I’m crazy in love ’ face.”
Alexis ducks her head, but she’s not quite fast enough to prevent David from spotting the flush of her cheeks.
“I’m happy for you,” he says, nudging at her with his elbow.
She blushes more and whines, “Okay, stop! I like it much better when I’m teasing you and Patrick for being grossly in love.”
“Well, too bad. I can finally tease you back, and I am taking full advantage of it.”
“You’re so annoying,” Alexis mutters, although the words are more fond than irate.
David barely represses a smile, rolling his eyes and replying, “Right back at you.”
A week later, David is pacing around the kitchen, one hand running through his hair and the other clutching a ringing phone to his ear. The second Patrick picks up, David doesn’t let him get more than a brief greeting in before he exclaims, “Patrick, I am freaking out!”
“Hello to you, too, love of my life. How am I? I’m great, thanks for asking. I was just in the middle of this seminar when you called.”
“Okay, well this is an emergency! Twyla is going to be here any minute, and I have no clue what to do.” His own words only serve to make this situation feel more imminent. He waves his hands about with reckless abandon even though he very well knows that Patrick can’t see the gestures.
“I’m not sure that counts as an emergency, David. You’ll be fine.”
“We have nothing in common! What are we going to do for an hour together?!”
“I’m sure you’ll think of something. You and I don’t have much in common, but we still find things to do.”
“I’m not making out with Twyla.”
David can hear Patrick rolling his eyes through the phone. “You know that’s not what I meant. We do other stuff together besides making out, David. And we do have some common interests, like house renovations and the store, just to name a few. Just try to find one similar interest.”
Scattered, muffled noises take over Patrick’s end of the call, causing David to flinch away from the speaker. “Patrick? Hello?”
“Sorry, I need to get back to it. I can’t miss the next talk. You’ll be fine , David, I promise. I’ll call you later tonight when I’m finished. Oh, and I love you.”
David sighs, draping a hand over his forehead as he leans against the counter. “Love you, too, honey.”
As if on cue, a few seconds after they hang up, the doorbell rings. David jolts, straightening his posture and smoothing out any creases in his clothes. Find one similar interest. Just one. David inhales and exhales deeply, then walks over and opens the door, trying to appear more inviting than his usual ‘off-putting’ demeanor (according to Alexis, that is).
“Hi-llo—I mean, um, hello, Twyla,” David greets, mentally cursing himself. She hasn’t even spoken a word, and David’s already made a fool of himself.
Twyla just smiles wide, hands clasped together at her front. She’s in a flowery shirt along with a jean jacket that David recognizes as Alexis’s. “Hi, David! How are you?”
David nods, rocking on his feet a bit and tucking his hands under his folded arms. “Good, good.”
They stand there unmoving before David realizes he should be inviting her in. Shit. This is off to a terrible start.
“Oh! Um, come on in.”
He holds the door open for her, and she thanks him before automatically toeing off her sneakers at the door. At least David didn’t have to tell her about the incorrectness of shoes in the house. As Twyla looks around, David wracks his brain for the meager amount of information he has on regular human interaction.
“Um, would you like something to drink? I can make coffee, or Patrick has some tea.”
“Oh, coffee would be great, if it’s not too much trouble.”
“Not at all. I can make myself some this way, too. You can, uh, sit down, if you’d like,” David offers, gesturing toward the barstools at the counter. As Twyla sits, David focuses on starting the coffee, thankful to have something to do with his jittering hands.
David has lived through a lot of awkward conversations in his life, but this interaction with Twyla is a different type of awkward. He feels like the boyfriend waiting for his date on prom night in the living room with his date’s parents across from him making small talk and worried about being judged. The bittersweet smell of coffee starts drifting through the air.
“So, Patrick’s at a business seminar?” Twyla asks. David knows she knows the answer, but he humors her anyway, eager for anything other than this all-encompassing silence.
“Yeah, I’m not sure what for. He goes to them all the time, tries to get me to come with him even, but it’s not my crowd. Plus, someone needs to watch the store while he’s gone.”
“What do you normally do when Patrick’s away?” Twyla wonders.
David shrugs, “Just stuff to keep me busy, and stuff that Patrick would normally complain about, like taking hours long baths or sleeping in way too late.”
Twyla lets out a little laugh. “Makes sense.”
Realizing that in a conversation, you’re supposed to ask questions back, David stammers, “Um, what do you do, when Alexis isn’t around, I mean?”
Twyla shrugs. “I’m not used to Alexis being gone. This week is the longest time we’ve been apart since we started dating. Normally, work, but my shift’s not until tonight.”
Although Twyla’s default mode is always cheery, it’s then that David really notices the emotions hidden behind her mask. The slight slump of her shoulders, the way she fidgets with her fingers and reaches up to tighten at her ponytail: it’s all a sign of an underlying unease and loneliness. Unfortunately, David’s experiences with comforting people, especially people he’s less acquainted with, are limited and often involve strained placations that only worsen the situation.
The coffee beeps, signaling its completion and thus saving David from any well-intended words that would have backfired in some way. He busies himself with pulling out the mugs and pouring them each a full helping.
“Uh, cream or sugar? I have caramel, too,” David offers.
“You can just make me what you usually make yourself.”
David raises his eyebrows, “Are you sure? I’ve been told by numerous people that my coffee is a sugar bomb.”
“I could use a sugary pick me up.”
After finishing adding all the necessary components (including the necessary sprinkle of cocoa powder on top), David carefully carries them over to the other side of the counter and slides one Twyla’s way.
“Thanks,” Twyla says, blowing on the steaming beverage. “So, did you have any big plans for today?”
“Since the store is closed, not really. I was planning on catching up on a few episodes of The Bachelor I have recorded and eating the ice cream in the back of the freezer Patrick thinks he hid well.”
“Wait, you watch The Bachelor ?”
“Yeah, I know it’s cheesy and overly dramatic and everything—”
Twyla shakes her head, “I love The Bachelor !”
“Finally someone who understands,” David breathes out, followed by the tension dropping from his body. “Like yes, it’s dramatic and over-the-top, but that’s why it’s so good! Patrick doesn’t get the appeal.”
“Alexis just says she’s had enough drama in her life, and apparently, she has some sort of history with too many previous Bachelor contestants. But I love it. It's so fun, rooting for the perect match each week.”
“Have you watched any of the latest season yet? With Aiden Hurst?”
“No, I haven’t had time.”
“ Ohmygod , we need to remedy that right now. Come on, we can start over. I’m only a few episodes in. You would not believe the fight that happens in the first episode!” David pauses, reigning in his eagerness with a duck of his head. “I mean, if that’s okay with you…?”
Twyla stands up, cradling her mug. “That sounds perfect.”
A few hours later, they’re on the fourth episode of the new season, watching with rapt attention and trading commentary back and forth throughout the whole thing. They both agree that Aubrey is the clear choice to send home, but Aiden seems infatuated with her. They yell at the TV when Aiden hands out the final rose. After they catch up with the latest episodes, they delve into theories about next week, coffee cups long empty.
With it nearing dinner, Twyla has to go in for a shift. David takes her mug and puts it in the sink, walking with her to the door.
“Thank you, David. I had a really great time today.”
David doesn’t have to lie when he says, “I did, too. And uh, you know, if you want, you could come over the same time next week, and we could watch the new episode…?”
“I would love that. I can bring some food back from the café for dinner, we could make it a whole night.”
“Yes to all of that, especially the food.”
Twyla chuckles. She reaches for the doorknob, but pauses at the last second.
“Oh! You know, I forgot to mention it, but my cousin’s best friend’s sister was on The Bachelor! But she got removed from the show before it started."
"Wait really? What happened?!"
Twyla looks surprised at David's sudden interest in the form of an outburst, soon replaced by shining eyes. "I really do have to get going. But I can tell you about it next week, if you want?”
"Sounds like a plan."