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Language:
English
Series:
Part 3 of We Few, We Unhappy Few
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Published:
2015-04-20
Words:
776
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
7
Bookmarks:
1
Hits:
189

If Only For a Moment, Wanting to See

Summary:

It is nothing like Mars.

That is your first thought.
---------
It was nothing like Mars.

You shouldn't have expected it to be.

Notes:

Please understand that this was written early on in the series and any canon mistakes were made only due to ignorance and will not be changed to become canon compliant unless stated.

Part 3 of a series I forgot I was posting.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It is nothing like Mars.

That is your first thought. That is not why you believe that the world is false.

It is false because of something else. Something sinister, almost. It feels like a creature burrowed itself in your head.

That frightens you. It should. The only thoughts in your head should be ones you invited. You can't remove these, because they appear to be your own and you're in the grip of something stronger than your resolve.

If they were here, they'd tell you it wasn't that you weren't strong enough - it was stronger. You'd feel like a weakling anyway and when you wake up, you'll feel that way. Your Uncle will have much to say about this. So will the team when they find out.

It's always a matter of when.

As in when you realised that the world you're presently in mentally, wasn't real. Approximately 5 minutes and 32 seconds. As in when you'll wake up. As in when you're uncle will stop watching you and your mind and your feelings oh so carefully.

And it's not like Mars at all because, Hello M'Gann, he's here and he's smiling and happy and bright and everything's fixed. Like a manipulated photo superimposed on your memories.

And you want to stay and play and laugh and love and have him.

Because in the real world, the one you should be getting back to, he's sad and lonely and angry and NOT yours.

And life is not unlike life on Mars.

It's quieter on Earth, even with all the noise and it's a dream!Dream!DREAM! because you can hear him in your head. His thoughts are beautiful, always beautiful, but perfect as you thought you wanted them to be.

There is no pain like his - cloying and thick, heavy and biting. There is no confusion - airy and fragile, with all the consistency of a cloud. And he wishes for clouds, for sky, for birds. He wishes to be Superman in the real world and he does not here in your mind.

And he loves you.

And that's the crook of it.

He loves you here in this world and you've wanted it for so long. It's that forever kind of break-up/make-up, can't live without you, need you here/need you gone, kind of love.

And you can't even enjoy it.

Because all your favourite characters, whether love at first sight or falling in love from being friends or getting to know each other and falling in love, all of them actually fell in love and were that way for real.

And this is not. It's not real.

And for all that you wantneeddesireyearnfor his love, you want to earn it.

And a world cannot be perfect without him in it.

Where he loves you or not.



 



And as you thought, your Uncle is by your bedside, probing. Though not as deeply as expected. You here a glancing thought from one of the other mentors about looking too deeply and seeing things that weren't wanted and perhaps desired to know.

He's worried for you, worried for all of you. And perhaps his worry is warranted, except that he and all the others were preparing for you and the others to break and break bad and they're not wrong, but it does hurt to see what the estimation of ones strength is in the eyes of their heroes.

Robin's awake. He's been up longest and you can tell that by how tired he looks.

Kid Flash is in and out of consciousness. You expected him to have woken up first. If what you're siphoning from your Uncle's mind is true he'll wake up soon and it won't be good. He's screaming. It's frightening. Wally should never sound like that.

Super---

No, you will not go there. It is too soon. So soon after the world you left behind where everything was what you wanted but not at all.

Anyway, Kaldur and Artemis aren't awake yet and although you don't like the idea of what that could mean, you know you have to be strong for them. You have the feeling that the longer anyone stays, the worse it is.

And you have no clue how long you've been trapped.

Hello M'Gann, you can find that out later. Focus on forgetting.

Live in the moment.

You have work to do.

You have to let go of that world, for yourself and the others.

Don't let them see.

Don't let him see.

He doesn't love you.

He will. You have to believe it. He will.

It was nothing like Mars.

You shouldn't have expected it to be.

Notes:

Originally written for a prompt for the yj anon meme. Just getting around to posting a more complete version here. Original prompt found here: http://yj-anon-meme.livejournal.com/1801.html?thread=3879945#t3879945

For the Man Who Has Everything
[based on the beautiful JLU episode]
The entire team is placed in a dream state where they can live their perfect, idyllic lives. Not what they "want" like hot chicks or money, but what they truly hold in their heart's desire. And to free themselves is to rip themselves away from a perfection they can never have elsewhere.
Break my heart, anons.

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