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Simon opens his eyes just as a flash of light fills the room, sharply outlining every little corner. The loud thunder arrives shortly after, breaking the calmness of the raindrops gingerly hitting the window.
The next one arrives a few minutes later, causing the frog globe on the table to glow as the light travels through the thick glass. It then settles in Wille's face for a brief moment before disappearing. When Wille moves a little, Simon turns to him completely, watching as a slight frown appears and then fades from his features.
Wille continues to sleep soundly, unconcerned about how the elements are attempting to rip apart the very ground they are walking on; break the flowers in the garden they had been growing together, and scare the little bird that has taken up residence in the roof beams of the terrace directly across the garden. It's just a storm, Simon tells himself.
He slips out of bed and fumbles around a bit in the dark for a shirt or something to put on. Even though they have more privacy here than in Bjärstad, Simon isn't comfortable leaving Wille's room half-naked, despite the fact that everyone else is probably sleeping at this hour. But it's the same the other way around too: in the summer, Simon almost forgets about his clothes at home, while Wille is usually way overdressed. This leads to amusing situations such as Simon wearing nothing more than a short during breakfast while Wille is dressed in a long-sleeved shirt.
A sudden wave of calmness settles in Simon's heart for a bit as he thinks back to that day.
He opens then closes the door as quietly as possible. The moonlight shines through the large window on the left side of the corridor. Only then does Simon realize that he accidentally grabbed his boyfriend's gray hoodie, but going back is out of options and it's not like Wille would mind, so he puts it on.
The walk to the room, which quickly became his favorite one in the palace and the one that had the closest entrance to the garden, would have taken ages if he didn't already have most of the palace memorized at this point. It was a little awkward at first, trying to figure out where he is allowed and where he wasn't, but it turned out there weren't any secrets hidden between these walls that would need to be locked away and never to be spoken of. No dungeons or anything like that either. So Wille showed him around a couple of times because memorizing it once was just like math, the amount of rooms were just not adding up. And nobody stopped him or told him off when he went to explore (or getting lost at the beginning) on his own. Plus, they did spend a lot of time in that room, studying or just hanging out, so knowing the route at this point wasn't that hard.
When he reaches the bottom of the stairs and turns left toward the small living room area, the guard in front of the front entrance greets him with a nod. Honestly, Simon has no clue about the function of most of these rooms, if he wants to be honest. There was another, actual living room somewhere else and this was basically the same but on a smaller scale.
Only upon entering Simon notices Wille's dad sitting on the sofa, reading a newspaper and drinking coffee. He froze for a moment, unsure what to do with himself because it was not something he expected to happen at this hour.
"Simon, hello!" Ludvig says when he notices Simon entering. He takes off his reading glasses and lowers the newspaper. "Can't sleep?"
Simon nods, feeling awkward all of sudden. It’s not because they have a bad relationship or anything. On the contrary, actually, Ludvig is always very nice to him but Wille is usually there like 98 percent of the time to take away the awkwardness. Simon has no clue what to talk about or how to act around him, really.
"I was just..." Simon nods toward the door, attempting and succeeding in explaining himself. Ludvig nods. It was kind of common knowledge that Wille and he spend a lot of time there and outside in the garden, so probably that’s why Ludvig understood.
"Of course, go ahead. Do you need anything?"
"No, thank you."
After stepping inside and closing the door, he immediately turns to face the terrace. And, just as he had feared, the strong wind had blown down the nest, scattering twigs across the floor and completely destroying it. Simon was about to freak out because Sol was nowhere to be found, and with an injured wing, she couldn't have gone very far on her own, especially in this weather. But then he heard her singing.
Opening the door and holding it so the wind won't shut it close or tear it out was surely a challenge, but Simon couldn't care less. Once it's open, he looks around again, calling out for her in case it helps, and sure enough, he finds her hiding away from the wind between the potting soil and the wall. Simon reaches down and the little bird immediately settles into his hand and he gets both of them to the other side of the door safely.
He sits down to the fluffy rug and examines Sol to see if she's hurt anywhere else. "Have you been scared?" after not getting an answer he pats her little head a few times before settling her down to the floor, to let her do whatever she wants.
Standing up to look outside at the flowers again wasn't the best idea, as the entire area appeared flat, and Simon's mood got completely ruined by the sight.
He sprawls out in the fluffy rug, closing his eyes after the light comes, then starting to count while holding his breath, waiting for the thunder...
The rain was hitting the window sill with such force that it made little nine years old Simon pull the blanket over his head in an attempt to block it out. But no amount of fabric could quiet down the fear creeping into his heart. He kicked down the blanket instead and went downstairs.
His dad was sitting on the couch, working on something on the laptop, barely registering Simon's presence. Only looking up when Simon made his way into his personal space, tears rolling down his cheeks.
Micke put the laptop down on the table, carefully not to knock off the mug beside it, and picked him up. "It's alright, Simme! You don't need to be afraid," holding Simon as he cried, blocking his ears with both hands when the thunders came without much of a pause, quietly singing to him and starting his favorite cartoon when the storm finally quieted down. Simon fell asleep at one point, feeling calm and safe.
It was Sunday, and after Simon eventually woke up and had breakfast they were getting ready to go to the farmers' market like they always did on Sundays. Even if dad was busy he always made time for it. Mom would go with them sometimes too, Sara never did. Simon didn't understand what there is to not love about the farmers' market, there was so much to do, see and learn there. The grandmas would let him sit with them sometimes, and they always had so many interesting stories, Simon loved listening them.
But when they went outside Simon saw mom's favorite flowers destroyed and he wanted to fight the weather itself to do that to them.
"They broke!"
Micke looked over to where he was looking to see what he was talking about and after inspecting the flowers from up close he said, "They didn't break. Look, they just bent."
"They are ruined! Mom's flowers–" Simon cried, tears falling from his eyes.
"They aren't, we'll fix them, alright? They will be good as new in no time, you will see."
"Really?"
Micke looked over to Linda, who was watching them from the door with a fond smile. They smiled at each other when their eyes met.
"Let's go to the market first, then we'll fix this after."
That day, Simon got to choose so many clementines he wasn't even sure he'd be able to eat all of it. And they set up support for the flowers with wood and twine so the injured flowers can heal and be strong again. The twine wasn't enough so dad pulled out the string from his hoodie, after thinking for a while, and used that for the last flower. Mom came out to praise their work and kiss both of their foreheads and Simon was so so happy.
The next time a storm came, dad told him about the numbers. You need to start counting when the flash comes until you hear the loud noise, the longer you are able to count the further is the lightning from you.
The next time, dad was indifferent. He was watching the TV while drinking from the mug he used so much lately, and he didn't acknowledge Simon sitting beside him and telling him he was scared.
The next time he said, "can't you just leave me alone?"
And the snap in his voice made something break in Simon that day. They didn't go to the farmers' market together after that...
Simon felt Sol nestling into the crook of his neck, resting her tiny head on his shoulder.
Years later, when he visited Micke and had so much hope that things were doing well, he tied the purple string from his hoodie around the little flower Micke had by the window. Hoping his dad will understand what it means and things will continue to improve. But the next time he visited and found Micke passed out drunk, the little flower dead from the lack of watering. He remembers breaking down right there in his dad's apartment. Crying quietly because, no matter what he does or how much he wants to help in any way he can, the final step — watering the flower — should need to be done by Dad.
That day, he cried for the loss of his childhood and for the loss of hope to get back the person who meant the world to him a long time ago.
A light knock made Simon open his eyes to see Wille standing by the door, looking as sleepy as he could, a blanket secured around himself. Rubbing at his eyes and ruffling his hair like it would make him more alert. "I woke up and you disappeared. I got worried but it turns out you just found better company?" His voice was hoarse and he really looked like he was about to fall back asleep right there as he was, standing.
What he said made Simon chuckle lightly and he extends a hand, saying, "come here. I have another shoulder for you to sleep on."
Wille stumbles his way through the room, and flops down at the other side, nestling into Simon's neck the same way as Sol.
"Everything okay?" he asks sleepily after he settled.
"Yes. Sol's nest is completely ruined though."
Wille hugs Simon closer, draping the blanket over him, and kisses his neck. "We'll fix it later. Sleep first, everything after."
"Okay."