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The enemy was great and time was short: Once again the only solution was a team-up between the leaders of Vongola's tenth generation and the Varia elite.
The negotiations for the terms of agreement for the team-up were going as well as could be expected.
Tsuna ran a hand through his hair. "Look, Xanxus, if I'm in the same room as other people, at some point, someone will say my name!"
Xanxus was busy grinding his teeth into dust, and could not reply. Squalo, aiming his portable fire extinguisher at Xanxus's hands, stepped in. "It's a reflex. He can't help it!"
"Then I think I'll take a bit of a break," Tsuna said, and diplomatically waited until he'd gone out of hearing distance to groan into his hands.
"We should use this time to catch up, fake Storm Guardian." Belphegor leaned over the table, snickering. "Haven't seen you in a while! Does being such a loser make you too weak to set foot out of the mansion?"
Gokudera's hand twitched near his dynamite bandolier. "At least I'm not the freak who can't get a paper cut without taking out all my allies at a mission briefing!" he said with the world's worst attempt at fake cheer, a blood vessel bursting in his eye.
Squalo, having doused Xanxus, went over to Yamamoto to clear something up that he hadn't fully found a chance to attempt murder about yet. "Why the fuck are you wearing a BASEBALL UNIFOOOOOOORM?"
"Well, it was short notice that we all had to get here, and I thought, since it is a uniform, it's formal enough!" Yamamoto grinned broadly to soothe the hint of tension in the air. (For all that he was very perceptive, he could be blindsided by the way there was any number of tiny things that could send his friends spiralling into incandescent rage.) "Oh, do you want to spar? Let me get Shigure Kintoki out of my kit—ow! Hahaha!"
Mammon, Levi and Lussuria were arguing in a cluster at their end of the table, with Mammon's student Fran observing his superiors in judicious silence. "You know you're not supposed to kill him," Mammon said.
"You have to wait. Boss's orders," Levi said, frowning deeply and twirling one end of the moustache he was cultivating (it made him look distinguished). "And it's not fair if you get to kill yours but I can't get a shot at the cow."
Lambo moved his chair further from Levi's and cried as quietly as possible. Lussuria absently patted him on the head and then shrugged off the arguments with a flick of his feather boa. He tightened a screw on the metal plate of his leg, saying, "But he's so very pretty!"
"HANDSOME!" Ryohei bellowed from the opposite end of the table. "It's not honourable to blow your own horn, of course, BUT, DAMMIT, DO NOT SAY I'M PRETTY!" He jumped onto the ancient oaken table and ran towards Lussuria, fists up. Lussuria smiled and got on the table too, slipping into a fighting stance.
"He gave you a fucking compliment."
The strained voice appealed directly to the survival instinct to cut through the racket. Everyone froze, and then turned to the head of the table. Xanxus had both guns out; he put them on safety and then pointedly took them back off, so everyone knew where they stood.
"That was a compliment, you dumbass. Now, you two get off the table, and everyone else stand up." His fingers tightening slowly on the triggers.
Hibari, engaged in studying the extracts from The Art of War that had been painted onto the ceiling (it was one way to get him to attend meetings) decided that it would be a waste to have chunks of it blasted out by Xanxus's bullets, and stood; he walked over to beat Gokudera's chair leg off and Gokudera jumped up, swearing.
But not at Hibari (you got used to it after a few years and a few thousand concussions). "Come the hell on, Xanxus, do not say you are going to do that again—"
"You were asking for it, trash! We've got a common fucking enemy, all right? We don't have time for all of you brewing up bullshit between you. Move it!" He gestured with one gun at the table, and then threw it at the same spot. With a chorus of groans, everyone else's weapons followed.
"The rest of your knives, too," Xanxus added, and once Belphegor had finished, laid his second gun beside the pile that covered half the surface of the table. He eyed the others fiercely, some looking contrite and some dully horrified, and they all knew what was coming. "Shit," Gokudera muttered.
Xanxus said: "GROUP HUG!"
They shuffled towards each other. Lambo first went to Hibari, who'd huffed and taken a seat by the window. He held back his tears and, without asking, took the handkerchief from the breast pocket of Hibari's jacket, having learnt ways around Hibari's quirks during the times he hid away in the Foundation's base.
"This represents Hibari-shi's involvement," he said as he joined the group, and blew his nose in it.
"Brat!" Xanxus yelled at Fran, who stood off to the side. "Get in—"
"No, thank you, sir," said Fran, and Xanxus choked on sheer bland insolence, a scar blooming oxblood red over his brow.
"Get in here," Mammon commanded.
A trace of expression passed across Fran's face, flickering mutiny. "I already have to wear the hat."
"It's a business hat." There was a moment of silence. Mammon truly was a talented illusionist, to pull off that statement with a straight face. "It's only suitable that you have to wear it during negotiations."
Fran slowly approached the group, impressed but not yet willing to give up. "If ... I hug you, can I take it off?"
"No. This is business too." Mammon graciously embraced Yamamoto's ankle. "Also, you have to do this because I said so. I'm the master."
"Ushishi, our baby's getting big for those little booties," Bel sang. "And that while humping the sword-brat's leg!"
"Be quiet and cooperate, fuck-up," Xanxus said. "Or you have to give the storm rubbish your crown again."
"I don't want it again!" Gokudera almost wailed as Belphegor lunged at him in an ardent embrace.
"Can I have it instead?"
"No, Fran!"
"Aw, you don't have to take it so hard." Yamamoto wriggled round to sling a companionable arm around Fran's shoulders. "Your hat looks cute!"
Was that a hell ring beginning to spark on Fran's finger? It was probably for the best that the door opened. "You started without me!" said Tsuna. "I came as soon as Hibird called me."
"Hmph," Hibari said as Hibird flew over to settle in his hair; everyone else had resigned themselves to the idea of a flock of birds passing down a sense of humour through the generations.
Gokudera's voice rose out of the middle of the group. "Tenth, can we start negotiations again? Right now? Please?"
"Not yet," said Xanxus. Resolutely, he raised one arm in invitation.
Tsuna smiled contently as he walked to them, and the Vongola stood as one.
"Yours doesn't even have an alcohol problem to excuse him," Squalo whispered into Gokudera's ear.
"Shut up."