Work Text:
Sometimes Hua Cheng liked to prove his loyalty.
Xie Lian didn’t quite understand it. He knew his husband was loyal and trustworthy and reliable. He knew that the ghost could be counted on for anything. That Xie Lian need only say the word and his husband would help, would serve, would love him.
There was no way he could forget that fact. Not with the way Hua Cheng reminded him of it with everything he did. Hua Cheng’s entire existence was proof of his devotion, so how could Xie Lian ever doubt him?
But sometimes it was as though it wasn’t enough. As though there was an itch that his husband couldn’t scratch, a desperate need to prove himself.
The signs would make their way in the little things first. Hua Cheng would get a bit more fussy about taking over more of the chores or with the little affectionate tasks he did every day. Then his playfulness would start to wane. It wasn’t that he stopped it entirely, but more that he was simply less inclined to tease and pretend to pout in these moods.
Xie Lian was never sure exactly what sparked these bouts of desperate service, but he understood the unspoken plea not to pry. This was his husband working through something. Some trial he’d set for himself. No matter how much he assured Hua Cheng that he had no need to prove anything, it wouldn’t change the burning need in the ghost.
But Xie Lian knew other ways to help.
So when he saw his husband moving to help dress him in his daily robes (very simple things there was no need to bother getting help with really), he knew what to do.
“San Lang,” Xie Lian called softly.
Hua Cheng looked up from where he was kneeling on the floor, having dropped down to help slide on Xie Lian’s shoes.
Xie Lian held out his hand, and for a moment he could see his husband moving to hold it like usual. But that wasn’t what Hua Cheng needed from him today. “I will give you what you want.”
Recognition flickered in his eye, reverent and loving. So much respect Xie Lian still could not believe he had somehow earned, but knew it to be a truth of the world as Hua Cheng clutched that hand and adjusted his kneeling position into a bow, his forehead pressed to the back of Xie Lian’s hand.
Hua Cheng’s voice was cool and even when he spoke, eager to serve, eager to vow anything and everything to his god. “I swear to live and follow Your Highness.”
Xie Lian smiled at the reworking of the old phrase. He liked this one much better. No more dying for his San Lang.
“Will San Lang worship his god today?” Xie Lian’s voice was exceedingly gentle as he looked down at his most devoted believer.
“Yes, your highness.” Hua Cheng smiled up at him, gaze shining with contentment.
“And what would you like in return? What does my San Lang pray for?” Xie Lian asked, because that was how worship worked. It was transactional. Gods were worshipped in exchange for their protection, their wisdom, their power. Always an exchange. Always ready to be tossed to the side if another god could serve better.
Well, maybe not always.
“This one only wishes to serve your highness.”
Xie Lian smiled, cupping his face. “Shall we go to the temple?”
Hua Cheng stood, offering his arm in a very gentlemanly manner before tossing out his dice to sweep them away.
Xie Lian walked forward first as they arrived in Qiandeng Temple, happy his husband still walked side by side with him even when he was in moods like this instead of trailing slightly behind.
Without being asked, Hua Cheng lifted Xie Lian up onto the altar, gentle to the utmost. He knew Xie Lian was not fragile, but that did not make him any less precious and worthy of care to his husband.
Crossing his legs, Xie Lian leaned in to steal a kiss. “If San Lang wants to prostrate today, he’s allowed. Just for today though.”
He’d considered allowing it for awhile. Hua Cheng had never outright said he wanted to, but it was the way worship went with other gods and it was so clear Hua Cheng wished to worship. The love and devotion in that smile could sway any god with a heart into moving mountains for it. At least Xie Lian thought so. So if his husband wanted to worship, Xie Lian wanted to let him. Wanted to see more of that smile. That devotion.
That love.
“Your highness doesn’t like it when his followers kneel, so it’s not the right way to worship. There’s no point if this one worships only for his own satisfaction.”
Worship was always for the worshipper’s satisfaction. Satisfy the god enough that they’ll satisfy you. But Xie Lian knew it was true that Hua Cheng’s satisfaction was found in Xie Lian’s satisfaction. Which was funny considering half the appeal of this for Xie Lian was Hua Cheng’s clear enjoyment of it.
Ah, they really were hopeless weren’t they?
Xie Lian could have explained that he’d put a lot of thought into his offer to let Hua Cheng kneel in prayer. He could’ve explained what he disliked about people kneeling in prayer was the way it looked like begging in fear and servitude. That it felt easier for worship to be like gratitude and admiration when his followers stood and prayed to him not as a master, but simply as an elder to be respected. He could’ve explained that Hua Cheng only ever worshiped with gratitude and joy and that servitude didn’t look so bad when he knew it was his husband, his equal, simply expressing his undying devotion that had kept him tethered to earth all these centuries.
He could’ve explained that he understood worship was a transactional thing and allowing Hua Cheng to bow would simply be, odd though it may seem, his gift in exchange for the worship.
But Hua Cheng’s love was not transactional. He was not looking for special privileges or to question Xie Lian’s rules of worship. He did not care how other gods were worshipped because, for him, there was only ever one god to worship. And so there was only ever one right way to do it.
And Xie Lian still couldn’t fathom what he’d done to deserve such a lasting and loving devotion, but he didn’t want to question it. Just feel it. Just lean in and kiss his husband again.
“Then San Lang has to make sure his god is well loved today, alright?” Xie Lian smiled.
Hua Cheng nodded, waiting until Xie Lian’s hands let go of him and settled down to meditate on his altar.
Beyond his closed eyes, Xie Lian could sense his husband setting up the altar around this living statue he made. He could hear the match light and smell the incense start to burn. And he knew if he opened his eyes he’d see Hua Cheng upright and praying to him. He knew from experience, but also because he could hear it. Here, in his temple, at his altar, with all the proper decorum shown, Xie Lian could hear his husband’s prayers.
And Xie Lian had heard many prayers in his day, but none were so precious as his husband’s. At home when Hua Cheng went to their altar to pray, the prayers were a bit silly, a bit more on the side of a lover’s request than a follower’s. But on days like this Hua Cheng was all devotion and propriety.
Well, Xie Lian’s lips twitched into a smile as he felt the gentle press of a chaste kiss against them before the prayers started up again, mostly proper.
Xie Lian was worshipped with his husband now. It was considered bad luck to worship him alone, they had to be a pair. And he liked that. He liked the way that even with two completely different reputations, they were unquestionably intertwined. He liked that they were known by all to be in love.
But days like this he thought maybe he also liked how special it made his husband’s worship. Everyone else worshipped them. Hua Cheng worshipped him. Not even him as a god, but him as a person. For Hua Cheng they were one and the same.
Xie Lian had once taken devotion as a given. He understood it now as an honor. And though Hua Cheng reminded him time and time again that serving Xie Lian was his highest honor, Xie Lian felt more and more with every passing day that the gift of this worship was his greatest honor too.
Maybe that was the point. Xie Lian didn’t know. But he knew he never felt more like the god he was than he did when he heard his husband’s soft and faithful worship.