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Chuuya tightened his grip on the sides of the book he was ‘reading’.
He thought his eyes were about to pop off if he stared at the same word for any longer. He didn’t understand how anyone in this world could use their spare time to just read some words.
He huffed, slumping his head over the table, he should’ve just gotten a picture book. Maybe that would’ve been more entertaining than this book he got out from a random shelf.
His stinging eyes shifted over to the table a few metres beside him.
A beautifully painted canvas, one could say, sitting at the table while looking too flawless reading a book. How was that possible?
Chuuya furrowed his brows and gazed back at the boring book in his hands.
Turned out he had recently developed a crush on one of the transfer students. He didn’t realise it until he talked to him for the first time since they were paired together in an assignment for one of their subjects.
What was it about him that attracted Chuuya to him?
Cliche as it sounds, everything about him.
They both shared similar interests in music, classical music, and spent the entire assignment bonding. This guy was also polite and smart .
Literally the complete opposite of his neighbour and person he’s been associated with for far too long for his own sanity, Dazai Osamu.
The only probably was…
He liked books and hung around the library during breaks.
And Chuuya hated reading. Books, libraries, in general, anything with reading something long, he hated it.
He quietly groaned, suffering this entire hour and looked at his phone for the time.
Lunch was about to be over, thank god for that. He didn’t think he could hold up any longer. He glanced over to him, still reading the book in his hand.
How long can this guy spend reading?
This is honestly killing me.
“Oh! This is where the chibi is hiding~!”
Ugh.
Chuuya cursed at his bad luck.
As much as he hated reading, there’s nothing more aggravating than an annoying mackerel.
He paid no attention to him other than saying, “We’re in the library, shut the fuck up, shitty Dazai.”
The book in Chuuya’s hand was immediately snatched by Dazai. “Oi! Give that back, bastard!” He shouted quietly.
“I didn’t know you were into cheesy romance, chibi. You actually like these?”
Chuuya growled, grabbing the book back into his possession and sat back on his seat.
“Why the hell are you here?”
“To annoy you of course~!”
The urge to knock this guy’s face in was very tempting but Chuuya remembered he rather not start that in the library (and definitely not in front of his crush).
“You—”
A sudden cold touch settled on one side of Chuuya’s shoulders. He looked up and was not expecting to find Fyodor standing behind him.
“Ah, Dazai-kun, what a surprise to see you here.”
The brunette’s eye twitched, “You again…”
Chuuya raised a brow. It took quite a lot for Dazai to make that kind of face. He looked at the both of them before asking, “You two know each other?”
“We’re both in the chess club.”
Fyodor turned his gaze on Chuuya instead. He ignored the small flutter in his chest as he stared back at him and thought to himself;
Chess?
He also plays chess?
Does he do something that isn’t boring to endure?
Fyodor looked back at Dazai, “And if I remember correctly, I won against you last time. Are you perhaps here for a rematch?”
Dazai waved his hand dismissively. “I’ve better things to do than play chess all day, rat,” he answered.
Rat? What kind of nickname is that?
“And disrupting the library is ‘better things to do’, Dazai-kun?”
“I don’t think I ‘disrupted’ you, Dostoyevsky-kun.”
“You’re both disrupting the library. Let’s go, Shitty Dazai,” Chuuya interjected their small argument and got out of his seat with Fyodor’s hand leaving his shoulder.
“You’re not the one who bosses me around, chibi. Remember the arcade games we played last year~~! You’re my dog!” Dazai beamed.
“Oh fuck off!”
Chuuya turned around to glance over Fyodor to say goodbye but flinched upon seeing a side of Fyodor he didn’t expect him to have.
His eyes looked almost dead with an apparent frown on his face.
Chuuya faced back to the door.
Did I fuck up?
His thoughts are interrupted by Dazai’s arm latching onto him and dragging him out of the library.
The door closed and the noise had dissipated into the sound of the after lunch bell.
Fyodor looked down at the book Chuuya was reading.
The book was placed as if the redhead had been reading it upside down the whole time.
A smile spread on his lips as he picked up the book.
- - -
What made things worse after that whole incident for Chuuya was that they had the same class with each other for the last period.
I fucking hate my luck.
As if that was bad enough, they sat next to each other. Chuuya sat in front of Fyodor and felt an intense gaze burning on the back of his head. It would’ve left a mark and a bald spot.
Why can’t this period just hurry up already?
Trying to take notes in class was a nightmare, his mechanical pencil wouldn’t stop breaking every time he tried to write a new word.
He gritted his teeth and pressed on the top to extend the lead. At this point, there were little pieces of lead running loose on his desk.
I swear to Arahabaki—
There was a soft tap on the back of his head.
He braced himself, knowing the very person sitting behind him and slowly looked behind him.
Might as well just forget about this crush now.
“You can take mine,” Fyodor offered with a mechanical pencil of his own in his hand.
Wait.
So he’s not mad at me?
Chuuya got out of his small daze and brushed over his fingers as he took the pencil, “Thanks?”
“Keep it. You look like you need it,” he responded with a fond tone as his eyes followed to his desk, full of small lead rolling off his desk.
A small blush rose to his cheeks and turned back around to hide his flustered face.
Shit.
His heart was beating uncontrollably.
It was about to explode.
He couldn’t survive this class any longer, not after being embarrassed and being given a mechanical pencil with a cute mouse on it.
Where the hell would someone buy these anyway?
“Nakahara-kun, I hope you’re paying attention and taking notes. These will be important for mid exams,” the teacher pointed out to Chuuya’s amazing luck.
He lowered his head and went to where he left off.
So much for trying to lose this crush on Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
- - -
Chuuya put his palm out with droplets of water landing on it. He clicked his tongue, great, rain sealed the deal for the day, “Why the hell is it raining?”
Dazai appeared behind him with a laugh (and probably a plan up his sleeve), “What? Did you not check the weather forecast, Chuuya~?”
“Not my fault you were ringing my doorbell like it’s an emergency,” he growled back, “how was I supposed to know it was going to rain?”
Now what are we supposed to do? Knew the mackerel is stupid to ever bring one with him—
“It was! I ran out of bandages!” Dazai pouted before pulling out an umbrella behind him, “lucky for me, I got an umbrella because I was prepared!”
Nevermind.
Chuuya was slightly relieved and rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, now hurry the fuck up and open it.”
“Who said I was going to share it with you, Chuu-ya?”
Dazai opened up the umbrella and put it over him and proceeded to stand out of the shelter and in the middle of the footpath.
“OI! MACKEREL!”
Of course. He knew he would use it as an advantage. Now he remembered why he never depended on him for anything.
The shit-eating grin was on his face and pissed him off even more, “See you at home~! Don’t catch a cold for me, okay?”
“Dazai! Get back here, bastard!”
He already went off quite a distance by then and the cherry on top of this was the rain pouring more than before.
Do I seriously have to use my blazer for this?
“Why are you still here, Chuuya?”
Oh great.
Fyodor in the flash again, and an umbrella in his hand.
“Oh, Dostoyevsky.” He cleared his voice, “I didn’t bring an umbrella. Dazai brought one but decided to be an ass and left without me.”
“Ah.”
Chuuya ruffled his orange hair, annoyed, “Yeah. Anyway, thanks again for the pencil.”
“It’s no problem.”
The silence between them was Chuuya’s cue to leave and get back home. “I guess see you tomorrow at school, Dostoyevsky.”
“Wait, you don’t have an umbrella.”
“Huh? I’ll be fine. I’ve got my blazer.”
Fyodor grabbed his arm and stopped him before he could leave, “I think it’s better if we get one from the convenience store.”
Chuuya had completely forgotten those existed and he had been in Japan longer than Fyodor had.
“I’ll just go there then?”
He chuckled at his clueless face.
“I’ll take you there. That way you won’t catch a cold.”
“You don’t have to—”
The other pulled him closer so they both could fit under the open umbrella. Taken by surprise, Chuuya nearly tripped over but luckily Fyodor clutched his arm.
“Trust me, I suggested it, I insist, Chuuya.”
Chuuya didn’t decline his offer this time and avoided eye contact with him, “Fine…”
Fyodor smiled back, pleased with his response, “Good.”
They walked through the frantic streets in total silence. Chuuya thought that the loudness coming from the streets, the cars driving past them, the people scurrying away to shelter, would block out all the awkwardness—
But it didn’t.
He had to stand next to Fyodor for another 5 minutes until they arrived at the convenience store. Another problem, he couldn’t stop brushing his shoulder over Fyodor’s arm. He tried to create a distance between them but he ended up soaking up his other shoulder.
Shoulder or not, this is annoying.
Chuuya could see the convenience store ahead and looked over to Fyodor.
“You can stop here, I can walk the rest.”
“No, it’s okay. I don’t exactly have to be home early today.”
Damn, he’s persistent…
Chuuya took this chance to start a small conversation with him.
“Sorry about the stuff that happened in the library. Dazai is always a pain in the ass to deal with so it would be better if you got used to it. I hope it didn’t affect you that much. I’m used to it because I’ve known him for way too long.”
“Ah… yes but it wasn’t your fault, Chuuya. You don’t need to apologise.”
That expression from before…
The same one that Chuuya saw in the library when he was about to leave.
Why does he make that face when I mention the mackerel?
He didn’t let that bother him and shook his head, “Still, sorry about that. You must enjoy reading a lot and I wouldn’t want to ruin that for you because of him.”
“Yes, I do. Chuuya, you seem to also—”
Fyodor’s words were interrupted by a sneeze. Chuuya rubbed his nose as the tip of his nose was beginning to go red. He gazed back at Fyodor, “Sorry. What were you saying?”
He stopped his steps and Chuuya followed through, confusedly looking at him.
“Something wrong?”
“Do you mind holding the umbrella for a second?”
“Uh… sure?”
Chuuya grabbed the umbrella and Fyodor was unwrapping the grey plaid scarf around his neck.
“Hey, what are you doing—”
The scarf found its way around his neck, hugging him in warmth as Fyodor fixed it up neatly for him, “Are you warm now?”
“Yeah, but aren’t you—?”
It was almost like he read Chuuya’s mind.
“I’m used to the cold. It’s much colder back in Russia.” Fyodor took the umbrella back from the shooken redhead and took a second look at him. “It rather suits you, Chuuya.”
Chuuya nestled his bright red cheeks into the scarf and averted his eyes away.
“Shut up, let’s just go to the convenience store,” he replied back while he hummed back, listening to his orders.
“As you wish.”
- - -
After getting to the convenience store and buying an umbrella. Fyodor was waiting outside for Chuuya who said he needed to get something ‘really quickly’.
Chuuya came back out of the store and opened his clear umbrella, “Okay, I got it now. Here.”
Fyodor looked at the colourful packaged bar of candy. He met Chuuya's eye, “I don’t like sweets.”
“Oh, you don’t?”
Chuuya’s posture loosened with a small hint of disappointment in his tone, “I didn’t know, just wanted to say thanks for all the stuff that’s happened today.”
Of course he doesn’t.
Way to go at trying to be nice Chuuya.
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t take it.”
Chuuya blankly looked back up to him, it took him a few seconds to say something back, “Huh?”
“I’ll take it,” Fyodor replied, putting his palm out.
They made a quiet trade and Chuuya noticed how he was still wearing his scarf, “You should probably take back your scarf.”
“You can keep it and give it back to me tomorrow. I wouldn’t want you to get cold.”
“But you’ll get cold—”
“Didn’t I tell you that I’m used to the cold, Chuuya? I’ll be fine.”
The redhead just couldn’t win against him. He’s too persistent for his own good.
“Ugh, fine. I’ll make sure to give it back to you tomorrow.”
“And give me a text when you're back at home as well, Chuuya.”
“But I don’t have your number—”
Oh wait.
He did have his phone number, what was he on about?
They exchanged numbers when they were doing the group assignment together a while back. There were only a few messages in that chat but it was short and snappy.
Chuuya nodded his head, “Yeah, I’ll text you.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Fyodor turned his back to Chuuya and gave him one last smile before leaving, “get home back safely.”
He tightened his grip on his umbrella.
“You too…” he mumbled back, not sure whether or not he had heard him but he had walked off in his direction.
Fucking hell. All I smell is Dostoyevsky.
Chuuya’s ears were flushed red and his face couldn’t stop burning.
It was an ordinary scarf, so why did it feel like a whole heater was built around his neck?
For the duration of this entire day, Fyodor had given him a pencil, his scarf and had helped him get to the convenience store safely. Not to mention the things he said today…
“Keep it. You look like you need it.”
“Trust me, I suggested it, I insist, Chuuya.”
“It rather suits you, Chuuya.”
He’s a mess. A complete mess.
He’s making it impossible for me to not fall in love with him…
And I hate it.
- - -
Chuuya opened the front door, already expecting to be greeted by the very person who left in the rain.
He closed the door behind him and locked it.
“I’m back.”
Speaking of the devil, Dazai appeared (and broke into his house as per usual) with a spatula in his hand and it didn’t make it any better that Chuuya’s parents were currently out of the country.
“Welcome back, slug! Have you caught a cold yet?”
So it was just him at home.
And his pet fish.
“Fuck off, why the hell are you still here?” his eyes darted to the spatula. “Why the hell do you have that in your hand?”
“One question at a time, chibi! I thought I could start dinner~!”
Chuuya snatched the spatula out of his hand.
“Are you trying to commit arson in my house?!” He jumped over the threshold and in a great attempt tried not to slip on the flooring.
Dazai walked into the kitchen a second later when Chuuya went in, “Just kidding! Did you really think I would be so nice to cook for you, Chuuya?”
“You—!”
The brunette’s eyes shifted down to the scarf Chuuya wasn’t originally wearing.
“Eh? Isn’t that the rat’s scarf? Why are you wearing it?” he asked with a disgusted tone.
“Because a stupid motherfucker thought it was funny to leave me. He helped me out and lent me his scarf.”
“Ew, go wash it and you go wash yourself as well.”
Chuuya felt multiple veins pop on his forehead. “Maybe I should just kick you outside in the rain,” he replied.
“You can try~!” Dazai made a smart move and walked out of the kitchen to god knows where.
There was a vibration in Chuuya’s pocket with the spatula in his hand. He looked like an idiot.
Ah shit. I forgot to text him once I got back home.
Fyodor: Did you make it back home safely?
He put the spatula away and sat his bag on a chair before replying to his message.
Chuuya: yeah i did
Chuuya: thanks again for everything today
Chuuya: hope you like the candy
Fyodor: I’ll try it later. Thank you for that.
Fyodor Have a good rest of your evening Chuuya.
Chuuya: you too
“Chibi, stop looking like an idiot,” Dazai said, with his head poking through the entrance of the kitchen.
Chuuya whipped his head to Dazai, “Shut the fuck up! Why haven’t you left yet?!”
- - -
“You look stupid~.”
Dazai and Chuuya normally walk to school together as much as Chuuya hated it. He could barely get any sleep with the fish loitering around his property.
No wonder he’s always in a bad mood in the mornings.
He elbowed Dazai’s hip, “You always look stupid but you don’t see my complaining about your appearance,” he retorted, rolling his eyes and Fyodor’s scarf around his right arm.
He had to make sure Dazai doesn’t pull any stunt like tossing it down a river or give him a suggestion like that.
“Are you going to be stuck in the library again? You don’t like reading and you have horrible taste in books.”
“Oi, you can’t say much. You’re the one who’s always reading the same one over and over again. I don’t know why that would affect you in any way.”
“I won’t have anyone else to mess around with.”
“You do it to Akutagawa, why can’t he?”
Dazai’s face scrunched into disagreement almost instantly.
“No thanks.”
Chuuya frowned, he felt sorry for the first year, he was too blinded.
“You should give him a break with your weird requests. You’re just being an asshole at this point.”
As they approached the front gate, Dazai’s friend group was pretty much hoarding the entire space and was the redhead’s cue to go ahead.
“I’ll see you later, I’m going to find—”
“Your crush,” Dazai finished the sentence for him with a sly grin on his face.
A blush bloomed on his cheeks, “You—!”
“WASTE OF BANDAGES!”
Kunikida had coincidentally screamed in between, making Dazai turn his attention to his friends instead.
The grin didn’t leave Dazai’s face while talking to them and when Chuuya passed him.
He’s going to make him pay for that.
He opened his locker to change his shoes, shutting it close. Now it was time to find Fyodor.
He went to his classroom first, and of course, he wasn’t there. Going towards the next place Fyodor would be found, he accidentally bumped into his friends.
One of them, if Chuuya remembered, was also a transfer student as well, Nikolai or something.
“Oh! It’s Dos-kun’s little—”
“Nakahara-san, what are you doing here?” The one standing beside him, Sigma, stopped whatever Nikolai was going to say.
“Have you seen Dostoyevsky?” Chuuya asked him, thinking he would be a better option to ask out of all of them.
“Oh, Dos-kun’s in the library like usual but you should know that already,” Nikolai replied with a weird look on his face.
“Thanks.”
Chuuya strolled right past him without another word to say.
Ivan looked over to Sigma and Nikolai with an amused smile, “That’s him?”
“Yup, that’s definitely him,” Nikolai grinned.
Sigma heaved a deep sigh, “Why can’t you two just leave them alone?”
“They both don’t realise it and it’s hilarious. Have you seen the glares Dos-kun gives at Dazai-kun when the little redhead’s around? I don’t think I’ve seen Dos-kun like that before.”
Sigma blankly stared at him.
“You’ve only known him for 2 weeks, Nikolai.”
- - -
Chuuya slid the library door open and peeked through the gap, with everything that happened in the library, he wouldn’t be surprised if he got banned from going inside.
He walked into the library and cautiously made his way to the table in the far corner where Fyodor isolated himself at.
Each step he took his heartbeat thumped louder against his chest.
You’ve got to be kidding.
Right there, he found Fyodor sitting there like he always was. This time with a new book in his hand. A little more analysing, Chuuya recognised the book and title in his hand.
Isn’t that—
“Chuuya?”
All his bones tensed up.
Fuck.
He was caught and took a seat in the spare chair beside him and passed the folded scarf in his hand. “Here you’re scarf back. I washed it last night.”
Fyodor grabbed his scarf back and set it off to the side.
“I hope I wasn’t too hard to find.”
Chuuya leaned against his seat, “You’re always in the library, so it wasn’t that hard to find you.”
“That’s true.”
Chuuya glanced at the window in front of them, “It’s a nice spot here. Is this why you always sit here?”
“Yeah, it’s peaceful.”
He lightly shrugged, “When you have friends like that, I would do the same.”
There was a slight twitch of a smile on Fyodor’s lips that he didn’t notice.
“What about you? You’ve always seemed to be in the library as well.”
He’s more observant than I thought.
Chuuya placed a hand behind his neck with a poor attempt at a laugh, “I guess to get away from the loudness. You know what kind of people I hang around with.”
“Hm… actually, I’ve only seen you in the library ever since I transferred,” Fyodor said bluntly, which made the other rethink his choice of words.
He was sweating beads and it was definitely the school’s air conditioning’s fault for not working.
Another attempt at trying to get rid of the topic, “It’s more out of school kind of friends. We hang out after school.”
“You don’t like hanging out with Dazai-kun if I remember correctly.”
What the hell?!
“T—then you probably haven’t met them yet.”
Saved by the bell, he puts his sweaty hand inside his pockets, “Time goes fast when you’re in the library. I’ll see you later, Dostoyevsky—!”
Just as he was going to get up from his seat, a hand grasped his hand with a light tug, he was pulled towards Fyodor.
Chuuya widened his eyes, he didn’t try to catch himself. His lips landed and pressed onto a soft pair of lips.
The lingering taste of strawberry in his mouth.
The sound of the bell stopped as Fyodor pulled back to Chuuya’s gaped mouth and was still processing everything. Fyodor pulled the book away from their kiss and Chuuya was dumbfounded to not realise he used it to cover it up.
He chuckled at Chuuya’s expression and caressed his cheek.
“See you at lunch, Chuuya. I look forward to it,” he pushed back away from his seat.
He leaned a little closer and whispered, “And I’m sorry for making you go through all that endurance of reading. I’ll keep it a secret,” while tapping his index finger on his lips.
Fyodor exited the library in a brighter mood with a red candy wrapper poking out his pocket while Chuuya buried his face in his hands.
HE FUCKING KNEW?!