Chapter Text
Zatonsk Police Station.
May 17, 1889.
Chief Inspector Shtolman.
Yakov Platonovich,
I do not have words sufficient to express the level of regret that I feel. When I replay it in my mind, I am aghast. I hardly believe I uttered such nonsense. I failed to think, to consider the message that I was conveying. Perhaps I was trying too hard to be clever. Whatever the reason, and there is no good one, I am truly and with all of my heart sorry for suggesting something that is so far removed from what I know of you. I beg you to forgive my foolishness.
It was a curious experience these past couple of days. As terrifying as it was to be seized outside the prince’s home and taken blindfolded to a remote shed in the forest, I never truly feared for my life. There was something about the men who held us. They were not violent men, thieves perhaps, liars for certain. I do not mean to downplay their crimes, for playing with people as if they were pawns in a game is quite heinous and most assuredly evidence of depravity. But I do not believe they would have harmed me or Miss Neginskaya. Although I am less confident of the latter than of the former.
Through this ordeal, I gained knowledge and insight as regards Miss Neginskaya. I suppose it would be surprising if I had not developed some intimacy with Nina, being holed up together and traversing the forest as we did. I have not developed any amity for her person nor has my understanding of her motives improved despite this forced reliance on each other. I have only had the opportunity to peek into her past and to observe her actions as they relate to the impetus for our abduction.
You would not believe me if I told you the source of these vignettes from Nina’s past, so I shall stay silent about it. Nevertheless, I am confident in my estimation of the breadth of her deception. It was far more serious than I would have guessed. It appears to have been Miss Neginskaya’s actions, more so than your own, that brought about these recent fearful events. Although I have not trusted her since our first interaction, I now understand her association with Kirill Vladimirovich to be a false friendship. Is the prince aware of her duplicitous actions? If so, he does wear the mask of amicability well.
I admit to being surprised that your association with our captor stemmed from a particularly unfortunate bout of gambling. I have never known you to participate in wagering. I am aware of the plentiful opportunities for engaging in such diversions here in Zatonsk, and yet, you have abstained. Is your reluctance to participate in games of chance reflective of the steep cost of this episode from your past? You see that I must conjure explanations of your past from the tidbits of information that I am privy to. You share so little of your life in the capital with me.
When you have forgiven me for my thoughtless actions, let us again take a stroll in the park. I vow to refrain from insensitive and cruel remarks. I do hope you forgive me. I believe you know the strength of my respect for you, despite this lapse in judgment. I know you to be just and highly principled. I have never doubted your character. Again, I am truly sorry.
Yours penitently,
Anna.