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A man

Summary:

this is a song. it hurts.

It is inspired heavily by The Catalyst series, so if you've read it you're welcome, if not also, but be mindfull that it has A LOT of trigger warnings

Notes:

hey. i will probably post a version where i sing this, someday.
i do not expect this work to do well, or anyone to find it at all

the person 'speaking' is up to your interpretation, i guess, I'm referencing both Tommy and Wilbur's characters from the book

Work Text:

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I'm not tall, I'm high
As the days fly by
In a haze and a fog white as snow
Wake up, coffe, shout, frown
Bitter taste flushed down
With a glass of discount spicy water

I'm a quirked up dumpsterfire of a son
From a family long on the shelf
A dog that's bitten itself hard enough to be put down
And not at all the way that I've daydreamed myself

 

'Cause darlin' I'm a man independant
Searching for a tiny bit of me to love
The beat in my veins stronger than my heart
Broken apart to be worthy enough

I'm a firework in self-ignition
I'm burning, burning, burning so bright
Like an airplane cutting a path through the stars
With a radiant suspicion that this is the night

 

Open windows to air out the cigarette smell
Play my heart out to cover your lies
Pick up shattered blood ties that litter the ground
And cover the canvas you've hidden away

 

'Cause darlin' I'm a man independant
Searching for a tiny bit of me to love
The beat in my veins stronger than my heart
Broken apart to be worthy enough

I'm a firework in self-ignition
I'm burning, burning, burning so bright
Like an airplane cutting a path through the stars
With a radiant suspicion that this is the night [I die]

 

Stir the car away
I'm reaching a life I still never want
Hold on for another day
Get paid to live and get paid to love
Strum down, on until it breaks
Screaming out the sorrow and the alien pain
Oh come on, it's only a car crash
Look away, look away, look away

 

'Cause darling I'm in self ignition
I'm burning, burning, burning and lost
With burning veins and burning ambition to be
Broken apart to be worthy enough to love

 

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