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Swinging the last of the bags into his car, Logan slammed the trunk closed. It would be a long drive, wearily his eyes drifted to a sulking Remus. Something told him this trip would be much longer.
The others were stood in the door way to wave the two off, also to stop either one from back out and returning to the house. They said they needed a break. Logan didn't understand.
Remus could be a lot, that was obvious. He had no filter, became sporadically hyperactive and constantly tried his best to irritate the others with a constant stream of graphic ideas. Logan was the only one who could stand him for more then five seconds, and the only one who could shut him up.
"Stay safe Lo, text us when you get to the hotel!" Patton called as Logan opened the door for Remus. He simply nodded, got in the driver's seat and drove off.
Normally, Logan would take these trips as a chance to unwind and relax, listen to a podcast or book while he drove and just generally let the stiff iceyness melt from his body. With Remus in the car, however, this wasn't an option.
Logan found himself constantly giving the other anxious glances as he sat on his phone, ignoring his surroundings. Logan alternated his eyes from the road and Remus a few more times before signing.
Eyes still carful on the road, Logan reached over and tapped Remus's leg.
He pulled his earphones out, "Sorry, is the music too loud?" His voice was uncharacteristically quiet.
"No, why don't you put something on the speaker? I find playing something often helps me drive." Logan just wanted Remus to stop looking so sad about being trapped in a car with him. It was making him feel too and Logan hated that.
"You probably won't like my music, put whatever on. I don't mind."
"Trust me, you'll be bored with my audio choices. I insist."
Nervously, Remus plugged his phone into the car speaker. Some rock music blared out, Remus scrambled to turn it down. Logan couldn't help but laugh.
"I think I know this band. We aren't so different you know." He said, turning his full attention back to the road.
Those words circled Remus's mind like sharks. They made his heart and mind race, trying to figure what they ment. There hidden meaning. But this was Logan. There was on hidden meaning. No subversion of the truth. No lies. He just liked Remus's music.
Since moving in with his brother, Remus was trying to come to terms with a lot that he now has to accept. The shame of having to rely on Roman was bad enough while still reeling from his ex also living in the same house. In addition, his own mental health, although it had never been good, was on a sharp decline.
All of this, he knew, was accumulating into the others getting sick of him. Remus wasn't stupid. They stuck him with Logan, the only one of the housemates who can make him shut up to make him someone else's problem. To give them a break.
When it came to Logan, Remus couldn't explain it. When the thoughts began to spue, Logan explained them away. While Remus knew he was doing it for the others benefit, it didn't stop them from calming the thoughts. If Logan knew it helped Remus, he wouldn't be surprised if he stopped, letting Remus suffer with his own mind.
Then again. This was Logan. Surprisingly companionate Logan.
Green eyes glance to Logan, his cold face unreadable, focused on driving.
What if he told Logan?
The thought played on his tongue. It would be so easy. Just let the words spill out like they always do.
But nothing comes out.
Too much risk; too little reward.
To they continue to sit in silence.
As they drove, the sun was starting to set. Golden rays shone through the windows and drew long shadows. They only had a few more miles until they arrived at the hotel, plenty of time. But Logan slowed the car, pulling off to the side.
Remus turns the music down, casting Logan a worried look. "You okay?"
"Are you okay." Logan corrected, taking his glasses off and rubbing the bridge of his noes for a moment. "And yes, I just wanted to take a break, get some pictures for Patton. If that's okay? We can keep going if-"
"No, it's fine. I could probably do with stretching my legs."
The two got out, Logan snapped some pictures of the sunset and Remus sat on the hood of the car. Logan wandered and Remus lay back, letting the last warm rays rest on his face. It would get cold soon.
Then he heard the click of the camera, his eyes opening and sitting up.
"Sorry, you looked... Nice. Like an album cover. I'll delete it if you want." Logan rambled.
Remus sheilded his eyes from the sun, Logan's cheeks were red, "no it's fine, but I think you're sunburned."
Logan turned his back to Remus, facing into the sun, mumbling something Remus couldn't hear. Remus's heart put it together before his brain as it dropped suddenly, was he blushing?
Why was Logan blushing at him? Why would he take the picture in the first place? Was Logan into him? Did he like him?
No.
Of course not.
Who would.
No one.
They get back in the car, not saying a word once again.
More now, Remus was giving glances to Logan.
Logan was too.
Occasionally they'd cat h eachother and look away, pretending neither one was looking at the other.
Until Logan broke the awkwardness, or made it worse.
"I'm sorry for the picture. You can delete it, really." He passes Remus his phone. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"You didn't." Remus said, Logan's phone didn't have a lock. He opened it, the picture was the first thing it opened to.
It looked good.
"I don't really understand why anyone would want to take a picture of me though, if I'm honest. I'm not exactly something people want to look at, let alone memorialize." Remus laughs.
Logan frowns, Remus saw. His heart clutched in his chest.
"Sorry, I don't mean to sound self-pitying. I'm sorry-"
"Remus, you're like a painting." Logan blurts. His cheeks red once again.
This time Remus frowned, what did that mean?
Logan groaned, "that didn't come out right..." He muttered, just loud enough for Remus to hear but he doubted he was supposed to.
"Remus. I know about what your last relationship was like," dread washer over Remus- his face paling, "And if I had known before it was over, I promise I would have done my best to get you out. I know that means nothing, but it's true. You need to heal still, unlearn all the shit that Janus said to you."
Remus flinched at the name.
"With him living in the same house, I know it's difficult to deal with it all. Trust me, I do know. It's one of the reasons I offered to take you."
"You wanted me to come?"
Logan nodded, "And, when Janus told me everything, I didn't mean to hit him but it just pissed me off."
Remus's mind cast back to the morning Janus came down to breakfast with a brusied eye. He told everyone he fell. Thinking back, Patton had yelled at Logan later that day. Logan had stood up for him... He never knew.
"Why did you hit him?"
Logan looked pissed off again, "he deserved it. He needed to stop bragging about what he did." Logan was clutching the wheel so hard his knuckles were turning white.
A strange feeling came over Remus, his cheeks were warm and his heart fluttered, "thanks."
Logan nodded, "hopefully never again, but any time."
The heat grew, spreading up his neck now.
For once, Remus felt safe.
Moon light guided the two to the front entrance of the hotel. It wasn't too late but the sun was definitely gone and a chill was growing in place of the warm air from before.
Logan checked in, taking both his and Remus's bags up to the room. Remus tried to help but he was swatted away, that made him feel a little guilty. He should really help...
Opening the door, Remus looked around the room, flicking on the light.
One bed.
There was only one bed.
What on the fucking fanfiction? Remus thought to himself.
"Sorry about the room, it was only booked for me and they had nothing else." Logan didn't seem fazed at all; dumping all their stuff in a corner of the room.
"That's fine. I'll sleep," he looked around, there wasn't even a sofa, "on the flo-"
"Don't be ridiculous. We can share, it's plenty big enough, and if you aren't comfortable, I shall be the one to take the floor." Logan cuts off. "I brought you here, I wouldn't expect anything else."
Like everytime Logan had spoke to him this trip, Remus's cheeks betrayed him in a blush.
New thought replaced his usual violent sharks as he thought about sharing a bed.
Hot.
Heavy.
Sweaty.
Remus shook his head, sure now his blush could be used as a night light.
"I'm going for a shower." A cold shower. Remus all but squeeked. Logan didn't turn to him, just nodding and looking at his stuff.
The second the bathroom door clicked closed, Logan let out a long sigh of breath he'd been holding. Flipping on to the bed.
Share? He'd offered to share the bed? What was he thinking? He hated people in his space. He hated being touched. He hated sleeping with other people in the same room, let alone bed!
Logan groaned, the shower was running now.
The more he thought, however, the less of an awful idea it became. Remus wasn't that bad. Or well, Remus wouldn't be the issue. He had spent years fighting the urges against the thoughts that plague a person at night. Logan, however, let's just say he easily gave into temptation.
It wasn't that he wanted to hold Remus in his arms and never let go, to show him he was protected and no one would ever hurt him again. No. It was because, sometime, Logan liked to hug people-
Logan sat up with a jolt, why was he even trying to lie to himself?
It wasn't often that Logan felt so intensely about someone, and the last time he had it went awfully wrong. It made him cautious. Maybe too cautious, but Logan didn't believe in such a thing.
It started when Remus came to stay with Roman after the first time he and Janus broke up. After that he never moved out, but Janus did move in.
That first night, Logan had come downstairs early in the morning, earlier then the sun, to check on Remus. He didn't know why, he just had a... a feeling.
And he was right to.
Remus was crying on his own in the dark, curled up on the sofa he was staying on before he got his own room. That was the first time Logan just had the impulse to hold him. So he did.
They stayed like that for hours, until Remus fell asleep. No words. Never to be mentioned again.
Remus had been there for Logan when he was at a low too. Not that Remus knew Logan had figured out who it was.
Logan's father had recently passed. The family ring falling into Logan's hands, and subsequently down the drain after Patton knocked it in while Logan was cleaning the sink.
It broke him.
The last part of his father gone.
And then it wasn't and Remus smelt of sewage at dinner.
The shower turned off and Logan poured all his attention to his phone, reading an article of a fellow Psychologist. Not that he could focus on the words at all.
A few minutes later, Remus came out in joggers and a t-shirt, drying his still dipping hair with the hotel towel. "it's all yours if you want it." He announces.
Logan gives a stiff nod, grabbing what he needed and entred the room.
Stream still fogged the mirror, a small section had been wiped away but it was clouded over again now. The air smelled of Remus and cheap hotel soap. Logan turned on the shower and took off his glasses, the steam already covering those too.
As he waited for the shower to warm up again, he scrolled through a flurry of texts from Patton he'd received after sending those photos at the stop.
He'd wait until later to let Patton know they'd gotten there okay.
Looking at those photos lead Logan to click onto his photo album and to the the last picture in there.
Remus.
Laying on the hood of his car, sun kissing his face, a gentle smile on his lips.
Never in Logan's life had he felt so jealous of a smile, envious that it got to lay on Remus's lips.
Again he sighed, shutting his phone and stopping off to get into the shower. It would be a long night.
Inches between them, the two lay in the bed.
It was everything Logan had imagined; awkward, silent and filled with side glances.
And surprisingly, in a way, it was like Remus had thought. He was hot and sweaty and being under the covers wasn't helping. But he didn't want to say anything. Logan was all all skin and bone, he was easily cold and thus had automatically gone under the covers.
Instead of nothing to speak out, Remus did his best to keep his eyes trained on the TV as Logan continued to read.
Soon enough, Remus felt Logan's eyes on him for the upteenth time. It didn't help how hot he felt. It made things oh so much worse. So much worse his face somehow managed to get an entire shade of red darker; as impossible as it sounds.
"Remus, are you okay? You look hot- warm. I mean you look like you have a temperature." Logan stumbled, not something that was easy to make the Doctor do, and made the fact Remus had achieved it display once more on his volcanic cheeks.
"Yeah, it's just so hot in here. I think the heating is broken."
Logan quirked an eyebrow, "I'm going to check your temperature, if that's okay?"
Brushing the hair from his forehead, Remus nodded.
Logan leaned close, pressing his lips to Remus's head. This, surprisingly didn't alarm him one bit. It was common practice in the "Sanders" house (after Colonel Sanders, obviously) as Logan's hands were constantly too cold to tell but he was on only one who knew how to tell if someone's temperature was at a healthy place. In fact, Remus had often watched the others, Patton especially, fake a temperature just for Logan to check.
Logan pulled a way, the small kiss going with him. He was frowning. "Definitely too warm. I hope you haven't gotten ill. We should sleep with out this" he pulls the cover off of them both.
"No, it's fine. I know you get cold."
But Logan insists, shaking his head and tossing it on the floor. Remus was amused he didn't try to fold it or something first; or tuck it neatly into a corner or chair.
So there they lay, side by side. Nothing between them but the anxious breaths they shared. At least with the cover there was some protection from contact. Now they might as well of been naked, they felt it; exposed.
Logan turned off his light, placing his book on the bedside table and rolling onto his side and shutting his eyes. Remus copied, shutting off the TV as to not disturb him. Logan had a lecture in the morning after all.
Remus lay with his eyes half open, watching the steady rise and fall of Logan's body as they finally drooped closed for the night.
Chattering teeth woke Remus. The clock's neon numbers were too blurry to see but we're definitely smaller then he liked.
Logan was just a palm away, obviously freezing to death as his t shirt did little to keep him warm. This was all because Remus couldn't keep his shit together and blushed like a mad man. He was a mad man, but that was beyond the point.
Carefully, as to not wake him, he leaned over Logan to grab the cover. Unfortunately, while he truly was mad, he was far from graceful and Logan began to stir. And as he pulled the cover over the two of them, his eyes fluttered open.
Deep and sleepy, Logan's voice hardly broke a whisper, "are you okay?"
Remus hummed a yes, nodding in the darkness, "you were cold."
Logan nodded back in understanding, "sorry, if I woke you."
"No, you're fine." Remus let himself slip closer to Logan so they'd both fit under with the edges tucked in to keep out the cold air. There were mere millimetres between them now. They almost touched everytime they took a breath.
Logan could feel Remus's heat emanating onto his back. His own cold sucking it up. Together they created a thermal equilibrium.
"Thanks." Logan muttered.
"No problem" Remus returned.
Both of their voices were low whispers, refusing to break the thin vail of sleepiness that would protect them from believing it was all a dream. They had to protect that because both of their minds were screaming to just hold the other. Yo enjoy the feeling of being held. To give into temptation.
As Logan predicted, he was the one to cave.
As he turned to face Remus, and pulled his arms around him. Letting the taller man's warmth take over his entire body. Settling comfortably into Remus's torso.
Without hesitation, Remus wrapped his arms around Logan. He rested his chin on top of Logan's head. This felt so right to him.
They lay in eachothers arms. Enjoying eachothers innocent touch. Simply existing in eachothers space.
Like this, they fell asleep.
It was the best sleep either had ever had.