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Stede had always dreamed about sharing a bed with someone he loved before, but he never imagined it would be this awkward (or this sweaty).
Context may be needed here; Stede managed by some miracle to row a large-ish rowboat to locate his marooned crew on the island (where they were being, thankfully, looked after by the locals). He convinced them to help him sail a rowboat to an island which Ed had taunted them with, saying they would “never make it there alive” and that “trying would be very stupid”.
Ed was wrong, of course. He just said that out of spite (and maybe hope that Stede would find them, somehow, even though Ed thought he was, in fact, dead.)
Yes, there were times that Buttons had offered the eating of crew members, but fate seemed to be on their side when they found an island filled with dumped orange marmalade and stale bread. Yes, there were times that the crew fell out of the boat at night, but they always made it back in.
Eventually they saw the colourful ship in the distance. With Blackbeard’s flag raised, it seemed more ominous than the Revenge Stede built for his life at sea. The bad vibes reached their rowboat when they were a little less than 100 meters away when Izzy Hands had spotted them.
“What the actual fuck do these fuckin’ guys think they’re doing, comin’ back here” he muttered
Two second later he coarsely shouted “BLACKBEARD”. Ed, standing five meters away murmured to himself
“The fuck you’re yelling for, I’m right here”, then louder, so Izzy could hear “what do you want?”
“Those prissy shitty idiot pirates are back” Izzy said with bite to his tone.
“What?” Ed had no idea what he meant (maybe he had some idea, but he didn’t want to hope)
“The old crew of the Revenge we marooned a couple of weeks ago, on that one uninhabitable island.”
“Oh, fuck yeah, those guys. Why aren’t they dead yet, they should be dead by now”. Izzy shrugged
Ed paused for a minute, thinking.
“Let them come aboard.”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Stede may have made a mistake.
He saw Izzy Hands gesturing wildly to Buttons to allow them the climb aboard. Stede didn’t have great judgement, but he did not think that this encounter would go well. He let the others go before him on the rickety ladder, then he took a deep breath, gathered his confidence, and started the ascent.
Despite his practice at climbing the ladder during his time on the ship, his nerves got the best of him as he was scrambling up the ladder. His shaking hands finally made it up to the top of the railing and as he clambered over, he looked for swords seeking to stab him in the gut. He saw none, thankfully.
His eyes darted around the new crew of the Revenge, and quickly settled on Ed’s surprised, beautiful, enraged face.
Nobody said anything for a while
“I’m so sorry” Stede said with tears in his eyes, emotions welling up that he told himself he wouldn’t feel.
Suddenly a voice out of nowhere said “alright, alright everybody maybe we should play some ‘hit the ball’ in the rec room.” Later, Stede realized it was Oluwande trying to help. Luckily the crew caught on and ushered the unwilling new pirates downstairs to the hull (Izzy had to be dragged), leaving Ed and Stede alone.
“I’m so sorry” Stede repeated
“I don’t care”
“You sure you don’t?”
“Yeah” Ed lied, the falsehood obvious on his face.
“Then why are you looking at me like that?” Stede questioned, motioning towards Ed’s face.
“Because I don’t care”
“You sure you don’t?” Stede questioned again “because I sure do.”
“Why would you care? You were the one who left me, on that beach, looking like a love-struck fuckin’ idiot, trusting someone I shouldn’t.”
“I’m so sorry, Chauncey kidnapped me that night, and oh those Badminton brothers have anger issues, and a penchant for killing themselves accidentally. I was a coward. He said things about my family, about me that was untrue. He made me feel like an idiot, wanting to be a pirate so I tried to run away. That’s a poor excuse about why I left you there, but it’s what happened. I want to be true with you.”
“And you couldn’t be real with me before?”
“I should have. I will be. I promise”
Ed stalks up to Stede, and Stede thinks Ed might just stab him. Fortunately, he doesn’t. He just grabbed Stede by the back of his neck, and, astoundingly, hugs him.
Forgiveness.
Thank God.
After a few seconds Stede understands what is going on and hugs him right back. Leather and linen, salt and lavender perfume finally mixing in the way they should.
“Right mate, I know we’re good and all, but I really need to ask…” Ed questioned gruffly
“Co-captains?”
“Yep, co-captains. Because I’ve been sleeping in that bed, and I know it’s yours but it’s really comfy, but if we’re co-captains someone should have that bed”
“Well. If you’re used to the bed I’m happy to give it up, since I left you and all.”
“That’s nice of you. How about, this may be stupid, but we share. It’s a big bed.”
“Alright. Let’s give it a go” Stede decided.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Again, Stede may have made a mistake.
He had drunk maybe a bit too much rum, and Ed certainly had. Ed was dancing around the ship to Frenchie’s playing, singing lyrics that nobody understood and dancing a dance that not many people could understand the rhythm of.
Eventually, Frenchie plucked up a slower waltz that nobody would dance to.
“STEDE” Ed yells, then quieter “oh sorry yeah quiet, Stede”
“What?” Stede replies, staggering to his feet from his place on the floor.
“Can you teach me to dance? I know you know how, you fancy types always know how to dance”
“Oh. Well, I suppose I could. I might be a bit rusty.” Stede said with uncertainty.
“Aw that’s okay. I’ll probably tread on your feet. Apparently, that’s an issue for new dancers”
“I’m sure you’ll be great”
Stede and Ed made their way to the middle of the floor, the world melting away from them as Stede set his hand on Ed’s waist, and placed Ed’s hand on his own shoulder.
Frenchie, thankfully, understood the gravity of the situation, and kept plucking his instrument’s strings to the same rhythm.
Stede may have felt uncertain, but he knew for sure a waltz was easy enough. He told Ed “It’s easy enough: front, side, back, side”
“Okay, front, side, back, side. I can do that”
Ed sobered up pretty quickly as soon as Stede started to move his feet. They danced together, somehow no awkwardness and complete understanding between the two about how to move. Ed did step on Stede’s foot a few times, but an easy laugh shakes it off.
Stede teaches Ed how to waltz, and how to spin into him. Dizzy from learning and each other’s reunion (and possibly the spinning and alcohol) they fell into each other, effectively ending the dance.
They stare at each other for a while, not knowing what to do.
“God, I’m tired. We should send the crew to bed.” Ed offered
“Now there’s an idea”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Stede’s made his last mistake.
Agreeing to share his bed with Ed may not have been his best idea. But he’s agreed, and as the Gentleman Pirate he should keep up his end of the agreement.
As they were meandering towards the captain’s quarters, Ed said to him “sorry man, I know we’ve been drunk before, but I may hug you”
“What?” Stede, a little bit affronted and confused.
“Yeah, sorry, when I drink too much rum I tend to be a little bit physical”
“Oh. Okay. That’s fine I guess. We’ll see how we go tonight.”
They changed, Stede pointedly not looking at Ed borrowing his pyjamas. Ed fell into the soft bed, and Stede lay next to him, still as a plank, not wanting to move, as if he would move, he would brush Ed. He normally lay spread out, using all the bed, but out of terror of what would happen if he did accidently touch Ed.
Tipsy, Stede usually was able to sleep easily but not tonight. It took him ages (Ed slept right away, used to sleeping on a ship). He lay awake, as still as possible, trying his best not to invade Ed’s space.
Sleep finally caught Stede in the end.
But then Stede woke up. He knew it was not morning as the moon was still high, and Ed, as he said before sleeping, was cuddling him.
Shit. He couldn’t move, and somehow that was a relief. Acceptance was the only way out of this. Acceptance would mean going back to sleep.
Unluckily, Stede and Ed were both hot-bodied, so even though cuddling was quite nice (although Stede would never admit this to himself) he was sweaty. A sweaty sleep would never be a nice sleep. He extricated himself from Ed’s embrace, padded over to a window closest to them, and opened it to have some breeze in the room. He stood in that window, wondered what on earth he was doing, then went back to the bed to lie as still as a plank (Ed, somehow, had not been woken up).
Throughout the night Stede woke up in Ed’s warm embrace, and quickly removed himself, then fell back asleep. He figured a few hours of sleep was better than none.
That morning, Ed woke up before Stede, realised he was hugging Stede, figured it was probably okay, and then studied Stede’s sleeping face. Like this, he looked so calm, so at peace with the tumultuous world. He looked perfect in Ed’s mind.
Ed dozed for a while, finally being woken by Stede’s voice “oh god!” he squeaked.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just… nothing… I mean, I’m a bit hot, are you hot? I’m just going to go here to open another window, if that’s okay with you… I mean I won’t if you’re too cold, I’m just kind of hot and it’s uncomfortable…”
“Stede!” Ed interrupted “Stede, calm down mate, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, what’s up with you?”
Ed couldn’t see Stede’s face as much as he’d like to, so he rolled Stede over so he could examine him to see if he was alright. He looked pretty good, no cuts or bruises. But why was he still breathing so hard? Why was his heart beating so fast?
“Um. Okay. So, this may be a bit embarrassing. I’ve never, really shared a bed? Me and Mary shared a bed but that was different. I didn’t ever really like her. I mean, she was lovely, but I didn’t like her like that.”
“And what is, liking someone like that, Stede?”
“I think you know, Ed.”
Ed sits up, unable to process what he’s just heard. Stede joins him, sitting cross-legged in front of him. Stede looks fondly at Ed, imagining all the ways this situation could go wrong, but then all the ways he wanted it to go right.
“Do you like me like that Stede?”
“I really, really do.” Stede answers sincerely. “Do you?”
Ed, unable to respond for happiness (and maybe some tears) leans forward. Stede, understanding immediately, meets him in the middle. Their first kiss was great, but this could be the greatest kiss either of them had ever had.
Ed, ever the more practiced one, grabs Stede by the waist and pulls him closer in, making their bodies as close as they could be with the clothes in the way. He needed to be closer. Stede emboldened by this action, grabs Ed’s neck and in the same move sucked on his bottom lip. He too, needed to be closer. Panting, out of breath Stede sadly pulls away: “I think I’m in love with you” he says before he can stop himself.
Completely floored, Ed replies with a concise “What?”
“I talked to Mary about what love is, and I get it now. I love you, Ed. I understand if you don’t, and you don’t have to respond…”
Ed has to interrupt this untrue statement “I love you too Stede. Oh my god that’s the first time I’ve said that to anyone”
“Me too. I mean, that’s the first time I’ve said it and meant it.”
Ed can’t resist another second without kissing Stede, so he surges in filling the small amount of space between them.
It feels like breathing.
Thank god.
All things considered, Stede doesn’t regret any of his mistakes.