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Everything is okay. It wasn’t like he was in love. It was just a good time. They had fun. That was it.
Ian was lying to himself but he had known from the start that it hadn’t been anymore to Mickey. It hadn’t been strange and crazy beautiful, it hadn’t been love. No, to Milkovich they had just been fucking, an easy thing to drop.
Yeah, Ian could lie to himself. Not like there was anyone to argue it anyway.
Especially now that he could attend West Point. He had moved in the week before and his roommate had made an appearance the day after. From the brief ten seconds the guy had been in the room Ian had noted that he was tall, broad, blond, and kind of a jackass. After that Ian had only seen his roommate a handful of times, never actually talked to him, Ian didn’t even know the blond’s name. It didn’t help anything that most people avoided the kid that got in on a scholarship like the plague. So much for making friends. Then again he hadn’t had many friends back home, he had Lip and Mandy, for a while he had Mickey. He thought he had Mickey.
It was stupid. Ian should be able to stop thinking about Mickey Milkovich. It shouldn’t be that hard. Yet here he is.
“You know, when you get upset you start grinding your teeth. I’m pretty sure that’s not healthy.”
Thoughts interrupted Ian just stares at the girl standing in the doorway, blonde hair a mess yet still managing to look aesthetically attractive. At least from the point of view of a gay kid.
“I’m Esther,” she introduced, waving her hand aimlessly and shrugging with a grin, “Is my little brother around?”
“Tall, blond, bit of an ass?”
Despite Ian’s less than favourable description of her little brother the girl, Esther, grinned. “The one and only.”
“Nah, sorry,” Ian shrugged, “I think he came in last night but he wasn’t around this morning.”
“Mind if I stick around until he gets back?”
“You gonna steal any of my stuff?”
“I’m trying really hard not to pocket those worn out sneakers,” Esther snarked, “Gotta be honest.”
For the first time in a while Ian smirked, an actual amused smirk. “Yeah they’re pretty bad, but at least they don’t look like they’re made of shit like your boots.”
“Oh these? Yeah I thought you’d recognize them, I got them from your mom’s closet.”
Ian’s just about to retort when the door opens again, Esther having closed it as she walked in the room, and upon arrival Ian’s roommate groans. “Please, Es, tell me you haven’t made enemies with someone I haven’t even talked to. ‘Cause I’m the one that’s gonna be sharing a room with him.”
“Are you now? Last I heard you hadn’t attended one single class, and your roommate says your barely here, so forget about possible friendships for a sec and remember that you’re here for training; this was your choice, Jax.”
Ian felt like he should be leaving, but they were kind of in the doorway.
So that was how he met his roommate, and his roommate’s sister.
***
It didn’t take a week for the three of them to fall into a pattern and two months later Esther was sprawled across Ian’s bed as the boys studied. Correction. Ian studied, Jackson whined so much that Esther threw her book at his head.
A sticky note stood out against the looseleaf as Ian turned the page, and he looked over at Esther pointedly.
As if on cue Jackson whined again, “Can we go do something?”
“Apparently not,” Ian replied, peeling off the sticky, “I’ve got this handy To-Do list that someone left in my book so I have to go eat an ass.”
“Entire ass,” Esther corrected smirking wildly.
Ian flipped her off and stuck the note to her brother’s forehead. Jackson, for his part, pouted blatantly, Ian had never known that someone could look that good when pouting, he briefly wondered what Mickey wou—that train of thought needs to stop.
“Can you guys stop your hate-flirting thing now, it creeps me out.”
“It’s not like I’m cock-blocking you, Lil Bro.” Esther says, sitting up enough for Ian to see the ‘gonna-cause-shit’ look in her eye as she grinned, “Ian and I have an entirely plataonic hate-lationship. Plus he’s into dick and four years younger than me.”
“What the Hell.” Ian was sitting up suddenly, eyes wild and heart beating way faster than normal, “I don’t--- how do you—I’m not…”
“You identify as a male, you like males,” Jackson rolled his eyes, apparently taking his sister’s side in this, “Yeah, you’re gay.”
“Hey,” Esther called, getting his attention as she moved to slide onto her knees in front of where he sat on the floor, “Relax. This is kind of a know-don’t-tell family. If you’re not out we’re not gonna tell anyone.” Her smile was soothing and Ian couldn’t figure out but he hugged her suddenly, arms wrapping around her shoulders as she held him close. After less than a minute Ian could feel Jackson join the hug, long arms going around both of them.
The moment was broken by Esther whispering, “But if you wanna stay in the closet I suggest you stop staring at my brother’s ass in the halls.”
Ian laughed.
***
Ian didn’t go home for thanksgiving. He called and the phone was passed around his family members, he talked to all his siblings, Kev and Vee too, Frank was there but Ian hung up when it got to him. Esther arrived around noon to grab Jackson, inviting Ian along while warning him that there would be at least eight people who were related to her under the age of eighteen, and really other than their other brother, Liam, everyone was horrible in the best way possible. Ian declined.
Esther and Jax brought Liam with them when they got back, Ian would be lying if he said anything remotely relating to the guy not being attractive. Hot damn, to be honest. Esther seemed to notice because she winked blatantly before ditching Liam in the dorm room and taking Jax with her when she left.
It actually took Liam a while to notice, and when he did he just laughed. Ian being Ian asked if he was uncomfortable, and then Liam laughed again. “My sister just left with my little brother and ditched me in a college dorm room with a severely attractive human male, yeah, so uncomfortable.” The light in his eyes said he was teasing.
Ian got stuck on, “Severely attractive?”
“Yeah, man, you’ve got the whole Irish-Southside-gentleman—“ Liam waved his hand aimlessly in Ian’s direction, “Fuck if I know. I like your face.”
Ian was grinning now, he let his gaze travel before answering. Liam, probably genetically from what Ian had seen of his family, was tall and blonde, unlike Jax and Esther though he had lean, toned muscles, freckles dashed across his chest low enough that Ian could imagine them around—uh, other important parts. His collarbone was prominent under his slim neck, and fuck-it-to-hell of course he had the soul-cutting cheekbones. “Just my face?”
“I can promise that if you lose the shirt this is not going to stay PG-Rated very long,” was the only response Liam gave before Ian took off his shirt.
***
Maybe it was because the anniversary of their parents death was the day before, maybe it was because he wanted to show off his friends, maybe it was because he couldn’t stand to see Jackson curl up and hide from the world anymore, maybe it was because he hated the way Liam refused to see anyone… maybe it was because Esther was getting out of the hospital that day and he knew she needed someone. They all needed someone and somehow Ian had become their someone so yeah, they day before Christmas Break he invited them to spend it with the Gallaghers. Their Uncle had been their legal guardian, he had gotten into a car accident with Esther and one of the younger ones in the car. Esther and the little one made it out alive, even if the little one was in a coma and Esther had a concussion and a broken arm to match. Ian went to the funeral with them.
And it was two days before they were off to the Gallaghers that Esther broke down, the sound of her crying had drawn Liam out of his hidey hole, Jackson left his curled up ball to sit with his sister, and somehow Ian didn’t really feel like he was intruding when he joined them on the couch, everyone snuggled up and crying.
It’s Esther that speaks first with a mumbled, “He was a fucking jackass, though.”
And then Liam’s adding, “How the Hell was he even Dad’s brother? I mean one is a Professor at Oxford and the other is a drug dealer that lives in a rich neighbourhood and lies to everyone.”
“Hey, don’t knock dealing drugs ‘til you’ve tried it,” Ian comments, causing an eruption a exhausted laughter.
He’s glad that they’re okay again when they board the bus, Esther’s telling him to go fuck himself, Ian’s telling her he’d rather fuck Liam, Liam’s adding that ‘well, yeah, who doesn’t wanna fuck me?’ and Jackson is wondering why he has to hang around any of them.
Ian doesn’t bother to knock, he’s practically carrying Jackson as the lazy ass leans on him and complains about not getting enough sleep.
Esther’s on a tangent about Ian and sex when they walk into the house, Liam howling with laughter the whole while and Ian threatening everything she holds dear. If Ian guesses correctly the opening line heard by the group in the living room is Esther finishing off a sentence with, “Okay, but you had my brother’s dick up your ass and you still hang out so what the fuck is it with straight guys?”
And the second line is, “You’re not even straight, Esther.”
“I’ll fuck your brother and see how you feel about it.” She pauses for a minute not actually acknowledging anything before, “And I’m pan so go suck a dick that I’m not related to.”
Somebody clears their throat and Ian remembers that, oh yeah, family. Debbie, Carl, Lip, and Fiona make no effort to hide the way they stare at Ian’s company, Frank just grumbles something and leaves, and Micke—“What the fuck is he doing here?”
“I was invited, Gallagher.” Mickey snorts nodding his head to Fiona who opens her mouth a few times before actually saying anything.
“We were worried about you. You haven’t been calling, you didn’t come to visit…”
“Though we clearly didn’t need to,” Lip comments, blatantly staring at Esther who in turn looks to Ian.
“I might actually fuck your brother.”
Liam steps forward before anything starts, squeezing Ian’s arm in a way that just says ‘trust-me’. “Hello, I’m Liam, apparently I have the same name as one of the small ones. That’s my sister, Esther, and she is the most straight-forward person you will ever meet, I apologize we tried teaching her manners—“
“I’m older than you, you fuck.”
“—it didn’t work. The other one is my brother Jackson, he mostly sleeps and complains. Sorry for the entrance, Ian and Esther have a freaky hate-sex relationship and are kind of in a constant state of forep—“
Ian hits Liam hard enough to stop him from speaking anymore before turning to his family and shrugging.
An hour later Esther has mysteriously disappeared along with Lip, Jackson is teaching Debbie and Carl about mixing poisons, and Fiona is talking to Liam and Ian while Mickey stands around with a beer.
Of course it’s once Esther is back sitting on the staircase (fully clothed) and within hearing distance that Fiona finally asks Liam;
“So when did you guys start dating?”
Liam blinks a few times, gesturing between himself and Ian until Fiona nods. Ian could swear that Mickey tenses up. And then Esther and Jackson are howling with laughter and Ian has his head in his hands while Liam continues to just look confused. Esther quickly shushes herself and Jax enough for Liam to reply and he glances at Ian like he’s trying to gauge his reaction. His expression is asking if Ian thinks they’re dating and Ian promptly shakes his head, so Liam turns back to Fiona with open hands and, “It’s kind of just a sex thing.”
“Yeah,” Jax adds, “Like Es and meeting people.”
“Fuck off.”
Ian shrugs again, “They’re kind of a dysfunctional family.”
Things are pretty calm when Mickey corners him in the kitchen. No one else is in the room but if it gets loud they’ll hear, and by loud he means yelling-loud not sex-loud in case that wasn’t established. But with the way Mickey’s got him shoved up against the counter things could go either way. Or they could if that was a thing that was still happening.
“Why’d you leave?”
“Why do you care?”
Mickey’s eyes flash with some emotion and Ian almost scoffs. “Because you freaked Mandy out, man.”
“Right,” Ian rolled his eyes, “Mandy knew I got into West Point. Wanna try that again?”
Ian can see his jaw clench before Mickey answers, “No other dudes I can fuck around here.”
“I’m not the one that stopped it, you told me to get out, I did.”
“I meant—“ Mickey groaned, letting go of Ian’s shirt and stepping back before he’s in Ian’s space again, “I meant while Pops was in town, okay? He’d skin me if he knew. Would skin you too.”
“So you didn’t think that you could just come visit me in West Point? ‘Cause there’s no way your dad would get within a hundred feet of that place.”
“We ain’t a fuckin’ couple, Gallagher. I ain’t some fag.”
And then a very familiar voice interrupts and Ian has never been happier for Esther. “Hate to break it to you, Doll, but you identify as a dude and you like it up the ass; you’re gay.”
“This ain’t your fuckin’ business, Blondie,” Mickey snarls before spinning on Ian again, “You fuckin’ told—“
“I’d back off if I were you,” Jax warns from his spot leaning casually against the counter, Liam has taken an offensive stance and while Ian’s never personally fought him he has seen the blond walk out of a fight with nothing more than bloody knuckles.
***
It’s March when Mickey knocks on his dorm room door. Ian’s not even sure how to respond, how to react, Jackson just left for work, Esther isn’t there, Liam’s away.
But Mickey solves that problem for him by saying something quick and quiet that Ian doesn’t quite catch. When he says so Mickey glares at him and clenches his jaw before actually repeating himself. “I’m fucking sorry, Gallagher.” He takes a breath and keeps going, “For telling you to get lost, okay? And… whatever, everything else, don’t expect me to say it again. I didn’t want to see you dead so yeah I told you to get out.”
Ian’s not sure when it happened but then his lips are hard against Mickey’s, not some sweet reunion kiss, no it’s just like them; harsh and biting and desperate. Ian vaguely remembers to shut the door with his foot and then he’s pressing Mickey up against it, tugging his bottom lip with his teeth and revelling in the sounds coming from Mickey’s throat. There are all too familiar hands all over, in his hair, then nails dragging down his back, and Ian’s groaning against the skin of Mickey’s neck.
Yeah, maybe everything will be okay.