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Ei felt empty and overwhelmed, each a sharp pain in her mind and heart. Equal in waves of intensity. Different from when the Raiden Shogun had paralized her when using 'her' body.
Their body now.
The rifthounds' presence in Inazuma had stirred Ei into action and the events that transpired after had brought her to the realization that she had been wrong in her view of eternity.
Those countless years in the Plane of Euthymia had slowly cracked her iron-clad walls until those fateful encounters with the Traveler wavered her previous ideals. She had held so tightly to them that she had been painstrickenly narrow-minded. As if to confirm this, those who had passed 500 years ago came back through the spilled purified ley lines: The countless soldiers.. Furuyama..
It was not the act of stillness –of stasis– but of trainscience.
Makoto –her dear sister and archon– had been right in her views that Ei had simply shook her head on, not really hearing her sister. It was heartbreaking that it took her this long. The dreams and ambitions of the people of Inazuma and their will to keep moving forward was what was more precious than she originally considered. Ei was so caught up in the losses that she did not want to feel, did not know how to grieve that she decided that eternity was a moment frozen in time, so nothing could change.
No hurt, no losses.. that was her eternity: frozen in the moment. Preserving and uneroding. So that the people of Inazuma would not feel the same way she had when she lost all that she held dear.
The archon gave a tired sigh. She had yet to grieve properly.
Taking her new conviction to reform and lead Inazuma into a new era of Eternity where everything flowed had kept her busy and they were a welcomed distraction despite knowing it was not helping her. So the days and nights blurred as she kept herself busy with acquainting herself with how Inazuma was in the present. Ei had been partially aware of what was happening as she was in the Plane of Euthymia, but it had simply been the tip of the iceberg.
"Ei."
The soft voice of the Guuji of the Grand Narukami Shrine brought her from her reverie into the present. Ei opened her eyes and was met by darkness that engulfed her room in Tenshukaku. Not even a candle lit in the otherwise motionless room.
Had she had been meditating for the whole day? Or was it days..? It had always been so easy for her to get lost in the sea of her thoughts and forget time.
Miko's dark form was walking silently toward her. The raiden's fuschia gaze softened when she turned to meet the owner of the voice acknowledging her with a dip of her head.
"Old habits die hard don't they?" Teased Yae Miko as she came closer, sitting beside Ei in a single fluid movement. Amethyst eyes regarded her with teasing nature, but there was that underlying worry about them that Ei could not keep looking at without feeling guilt.
"They do." She conceded quietly after a palpable silence, looking away from Miko.
Her familiar did not reply, but remained beside Ei. The silence that settled was welcomed, both enjoying each other's presence. It had taken half a millenia to be there now, like they once were.
Ei could feel Miko's amethyst gaze still on her, observing her quietly. Ei was sure Miko wanted to ask, to pry into her thoughts; to understand. She could feel Miko's questions even if none were being spoken.
'Are you alright, Ei? Truly?’
‘Talk to me Ei.. like we used to..'
The archon was not ready to face her yet. They had conversed before, but it had always been about business and Miko seemed to respect that but it was selfish for Ei to keep wanting to not dive into this when it was long overdue.
Yet Miko deserved so much more.
But she did not know how to begin. Many things to say without a concrete way of saying them. It would be so much easier if Miko would yell at her, vent anger upon her choices of leaving. Ei felt that it would be easier to deal with her anger.
“Ei..” Her name so soft and sad on the Guuji’s lips, the soft hand that came to rest upon her shoulder in knowing comfort.
It was either the way Miko said her name or the hand on her shoulder, but Ei could not keep it in any longer. Miko broke all the barriers she placed upon her heart so effortlessly.
"Miko, I-I" She tried but her voice broke. The words caught on her throat, unwilling to be known for more that Ei wished them to be spoken. It burned her from the inside out, her heart constricting in an agonizing grip deep in her chest.
She felt she was suffocating, like her lungs could not breathe in enough air and it burned, her vision was blurring as she looked at her hands that were held in such a tight grip.
"Shh," Whispered the kitsune, dainty fingers brushing against her cheeks, her thumbs brushing away wetness and it was then that Ei realized why her throat ached so much; why it was burning. Tears had started to fall silently from her eyes and Miko was clearing them but they were soon replaced by more as they flowed without restraint.
"It's alright Ei." Miko soothed like one would a child; embracing Ei and giving her the comfort that she needed –that they both needed, the Kitsune realized. Patting her back in a soothing light rhythm as her goddess returned the embrace desperately, clinging to her clothes. Ei's sobbing started then, disheartening and grief-stricken, her elegant frame shaking. All those 500 years of repressed emotions being released all at once.
Yae Miko's own heart cried for her, Ei's pain was her own as well. "I'm here. I'm here." Her voice was but a hushed whisper, not trusting it to remain even as she too began to cry alongside her archon. As she spilled all her hurt and her pain of losing her friends and her sister. Of how much she missed them and not understanding why it had not been her.
Ei always regarded herself as a warrior, a kagemusha and nothing more. Only knowing warfare and slaughter. The shadow of the first Raiden, protecting and defending their nation as a single entity.
Yet to Yae Miko, there was the hidden kind-hearted and innocent Ei.
She had watched Ei spend time with her friends and sister under the sakura tree that still bloomed to that day, under which laughter and banter happened once half a millenia ago. Where Ei focused and worked hard to win at karuta and be able to taste the delicious pastries that Kitsune Saiguu made for the victor..
They had also spent time together as well, after Ei's hard battles, in the shrine, in their precious free time.. they had done it all.
She did not blame Ei for her actions, even if it was such a hard and very lonely wait. Miko would comfort herself in vaguely knowing Ei’s whereabouts in the Plane of Euthymia. However, seeing the puppet that she had left behind in her stead was difficult. Miko could not help but sometimes feel bitter and resentful when she had seen the Shogun time and time again. That familiar warmth of Ei's gaze was all but absent in the cold carbon copy puppet.
So she had devised a way to bring her back. Pushing and pulling the strings of so many, all for the sake of her archon, her god. It was fate that had brought the Traveler and Yae Miko did not hesitate to also use them, they were special and the last piece of the puzzle. She had risked it all, and in the end it had worth it. Miko now had Ei in her arms.
Ei was still gripping at her robes, but her sobbing had started to ease after a few hours. Miko continued to give comforting pats on her archon's back.
"Miko." Ei said softly after such a long silence, the kitsune's ears twitching at her name.
"Mm?"
"I'm sorry,"
Ei pushed herself back gently out of Yae Miko's embrace. Meeting Miko's gaze with her own, wanting her to see the sincerity in them.
"I'm sorry for leaving you alone all these years.. for being selfish. Stupid. I was so lost in grief and my ideals seemed like all that I was left with. If I remembered them, they would still be with me. It was all I could focus on. No one would suffer from such tragedies, but in the end, it seemed I caused most of what I wished to prevent.."
"Inazuma is resilient and was able to keep moving and growing. Despite the challenges they faced, many still looked toward their Archon. They still believe in her."
A pause.
"...And you? Do you still believe in me?"
Ei had to hear it from Miko, even if deep down she knew the answer, the seed of fear spread through her, planting doubt in her mind.
The silence was heavy between them again as Ei waited for Miko's reply. Feeling her chest constrict in a new type of pain.
"I never stopped believing in you. I would do anything for you Ei, even if I have to wait another 500 years." She answered with a warm smile that made Ei's heart miss a beat before it became erratic. Making her feel light in a way she had not felt before everything crumbled.
"And I would do anything for you, Yae Miko."
"Really?"
The archon fervently nodded, resolve shimmering in her eyes.
"Please don't leave again, I really don't want to wait another half millenia.." Miko teasingly whined, which had the archon chuckling.
Leave it to Miko to lighten the mood.
Ei looked into that witty fuschia gaze before her, seeing only forgiveness and love in them. Despite everything that transpired, all the hurt she caused, Miko was still by her side and would always be Ei realized.
She couldn't help but let her right hand cup Miko's cheek and feeling her shift and melt into her touch. Ei closed the distance between them, their lips meeting in a tender kiss.
A promise.
"I'll never leave you again, my dear kitsune."
Raiden Ei would never make the same mistake twice.