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When Kuroo tells him that he found his soulmate, Kenma doesn't hesitate to congratulate them with a small smile because his friend is obviously happy.
Meeting your soulmate in the beginning of high school is one of the best possible outcomes and not everyone got so lucky, though other people thought that meeting them sooner was far better (Kenma disagreed because in his opinion you could become too depended on this person to form any bond apart from that).
But there is also the small discomfort he feels, that he might be left behind – of course he won't, he knows Kuroo and maybe it's only because he hadn't found his soulmate yet. His parents took a while to find theirs so he isn't scared to miss something during his youth but knowing that there might be another person like Kuroo who drags him out of his room when he has to or spends a whole evening without saying anything together would be great.
Maybe he doesn't need it though, because there is no second Kuroo just his best friend, the only Kuro he needs. And there are the first years Inuoka, Shibayama and even if he is loud as well as annoying Lev.
And Shouyou.
Shouyou has such an important role in his life even though it doesn't look like it. That he meet him had been the best thing happening to him since a while. As often as he was confused as Kuroo's soulmate, some assumed he could be Hinata's. As it turns out, he isn't and even though he is happy for Inuoka to have find his now, the hummingbird on their ankle presenting itself in bright colours, there is still an uneasiness he feels.
He tries not to dwell on it.
Kenma is sure that it's not his hesitance to approach people which keeps him from meeting this person, it doesn't matter who tries to tell him that. Instead it might be the fact that he only analyses players when they play directly against each other which prevented him from finding his soulmate sooner, after all he sees no need to watch games beforehand. So he can't say anything else than that when Hinata writes him whether he watched a match of Seijiou and asks why as soon as Kenma's reply is no. Normally Hinata is considerate but this time he presses the issue and it seems important, really important, so he gives in.
He watches the record Hinata sends him per email, the match which Karasuno won against Seijou, and regrets it.
There is only a glimpse during a serve but he notes the dandelion seeds on the player's neck and his hands almost automatically reach out for his; instead he clenches his fists. Kenma barely registers what happens next, who wins the set or if there is an angle he can see it better from and so the match passes while he just stars at the screen.
It's when the record ends that he is snapped back to reality and without another second of hesitation, he forwards the mail to Kuroo, takes his jacket with phone and keys before he leaves the house; Kenma neither answers the messages Hinata sends him, nor opens them.
*
Kuroo isn't used to unannounced visits these days so when Kenma stands in his room he needs a second to register it. Bokuto is with him and so Kenma isn't sure whether it is okay but Kuroo exchanges a short glance with him and without another word Kenma is curled up between them, closer to Kuroo.
The younger one only tells him to check his mails and so he does, reaching for his laptop and tilting the screen so that Bokuto can look as well. They are rather excited to see that it is the Seijou vs. Karasuno match and since they love the sport this is what they keep their attention on – there is a short scene though which takes Kuroo's attention and he stops the video. Bokuto feels like complaining but when he sees Kuroos confused glance he stops.
“That... Oikawa is your soulmate?”
He stars at Kenma in disbelief because of the tales he got to hear, thought it had been his Ace who shared the mark with Oikawa (he should have known better, after all it is the same people thought about him and Kenma). Kenma seems to take his disbelief the wrong way, he can see it from the change of his expression however he doesn't know how to phrase it – there is no need to though.
“Man, this is pretty amazing.”
It's Bokuto's honesty which makes breathing easier, makes it sound like this is right, still, Kenma doesn't talk for the rest of the day and stays with them.
“Did you think about contacting him? Shorty probably knows his number. Or can find it out.”
Kuroo has no idea how to comfort him, after all this is bigger than anything before, no scared child or lost game, not even close to bullying but some life changing revelation.
His friend looks a bit helpless, unsure if he want that. Oikawa is famous and a setter who worked hard to achieve were he is now, Kenma can see this in the way he moves, different from Kageyama who is a genius or Akaashi who always thinks ahead.
Does he deserve someone like that?
This question lingers in the back of his mind and before he knows it, time passes, Kuroo graduates and he feels a bit lonely despite of the people surrounding him. Nevertheless he tries to move on, after all Kuroo is waiting for him, like he always is.
Thankfully he could pass the captain title on Taketora who chose Fukunaga as his vice (he is still wondering why Fukunaga is only the vice but maybe it's because of the loud new first years who need someone like Taketora to keep them in place – and they can't deny that he didn't mature. In some aspects, at least. Maybe).
During this time, Kenma thinks more than once about asking for Oikawa's number but in the end he never does it. Sometimes he would drift off but never during lessons or practise, though he often stays behind thinking so that his fellow third years show concern, going so far that also Fukunaga asks him if he wants to talk. Even Akaashi seems worried but for a reason he keeps quiet about – then, half a year after his own graduation, it turns out that Akaashi shares the same mark with Bokuto as well as Kuroo, the peony undoubtedly no fake and he thinks that his own concern is a joke in comparison.
He is sitting on the sofa at Kuroo's apartment two days after the revelation (he has a spare key, thankfully) and Akaashi tells him a bit about his fear, that he always thought about asking Bokuto to show him his tattoo because he seemed like someone who'd make it easier for him to understand. He had problems with the concepts and choices, wonders if he had to follow fate or not. There is no right or wrong answer, they realise, at least as long as they don't talk to the people who are part of this.
So they made a promise, that Akaashi would confront Kuroo and Kenma Oikawa.
*
When Hinata sends him Oikawa's contact infos along with an encouraging messages and emoticons, Kenma feels a bit better. Still his hands are shaking when he types in the number and eventually the message.
Sender: Unknown
Subject: Hello
10/05 18:43
Here is Kozume Kenma, a former setter of Nekoma's volleyball club in Tokyo. Hinata Shouyou gave me your number
Kenma had never thought so hard about the way to phrase his sentences before and now that he sees how formal he sounds, he kind of regrets to have sent it, just hopes that Oikawa doesn't laugh at his message (he never wrote someone first before apart from Hinata who got a short text from him because he already knew who he had been).
Sender: Oikawa T.
Subject: Re: Hello
10/05 18:45
Ah, Karasuno's fated rival \(⌒▽⌒)/ What can I do for you? Some setter tips? ☆⌒( ゝ。∂ )
Kenma ignores the emoticons and takes a deep breath, typing out his next words.
Sender: Kozume K.
Subject: Re: Hello
10/05 18:46
I saw one of your matches. Is the spot on your neck perhaps a dandelion seed with the flower on your right shoulder?
Sender: Oikawa T.
Subject: Re: Hello
10/05 18:46
Yes. Why????
He is smart and can probably guess it but Kenma is glad to have a question to answer.
Sender: Kozume K.
Subject: Re: Hello
10/05 18:47
Because I have the same
There is no accusation or question of how long he knew about it which follows, just a few seconds Oikawa probably needs to digest this information.
Sender: Oikawa T.
Subject: Re: Hello
10/05 18:48
Do you want to meet? I'm currently living in Tokyo
Sender: Kozume K..
Subject: Re: Hello
10/05 18:48
Sure
He isn't sure but Oikawa is probably doubting this as well and disappointment might be better than the so-called blissful ignorance.
*
They are meeting in front of the train station and while he considers to chose a café there he kind of hopes they don't as it is currently full of people.
“Yo.”
Kenma turns around and spots the brunet he only saw on the video before. Oikawa's smile is bright and he doesn't really like this but he can't say why – it takes him a second to realise that it is not sincere (so he really isn't sure about this either, tries to put on a mask so that he can cover this and refrain from hurting his feelings).
“So, you're Kenma?”, he asks, needs to look down since he is a bit taller, though it doesn't look intimidating, not at all.
Kenma nods, registers that he uses his first name though strangely enough he doesn't mind, has no idea that he doesn't address him with a nickname because Oikawa can tell that he is in discomfort (also a certain little guy told him to refrain from doing so).
“Do you want to go somewhere else?”, Oikawa asks him when they stand in front of the café, sees the crowd and while it might surprise Kenma at first, he nods, feels a bit better; still, he can't shake off the feeling that fate was wrong with him.
They find a small café a few streets away from the station and it's mainly Oikawa who talks. It's nice, listening to him and he feels a little more at ease now. Kenma starts to talk a bit as well when he is asked, about his first meeting with Hinata and playing against Karasuno. When he stops his tale he sees that Oikawa is starring at him without really listening and so he shifts, lowers his gaze; it seems to snap the brunet out of his daydream.
“Sorry, I'm really nervous. As a child I loved the idea of finding this person your fate is connected to but then there had been volleyball and it became an important role in my life.”
I don't think I have the right to meet my soulmate now, he thinks, not when I almost forgot about searching for him .
Kenma didn't realise this, was too nervous himself.
“We should maybe just chat until we see each other again? Or text?”, Oikawa suggests.
“Sounds good.”
The tension seems to fall of their shoulders for the moment and after Oikawa pays for them (“You made the first step, so this is the least I can do”), Kenma brings up the courage to ask him if he wants to accompany him to this store, for a game he wanted to buy for a while now. Gaming isn't Oikawa's cup of tea but he nods, is interested to get to know something about his soulmate.
(He can catch a short glance of the glimpse in his eye when Kenma picks up the game which he waited for and it's more cute than anything else.)
When they part, it's just a bit awkward, less than either imagined and Kenma even manages a small smile when Oikawa flashes him a grin.
*
The first text Kenma sends him after their meeting, leaning against Kuroo for mental support, is a question.
Sender: Kenma ☼
Subject: flower
10/06 20:23
Why didn't you want to see it
Sender: Tooru
Subject: Re: flower
10/06 20:24
I could tell that you didn't lie.
“Kenma? Do you want to talk?”, Kuroo asks when he sees his wavering gaze, before looking at the message he got when Kenma tilts his screen for him to see.
“No.”
There is nothing to talk about, not yet, since they are just getting to know each other and Kenma doesn't really have such high expectations.
(Eventually he gets used to Oikawa's random texts, and maybe he starts looking forward to them.)
*
Sender: Tooru
Subject: Look
11/13 18:46
Isn't this cute?
There is a picture added to the message and when Kenma opens it, there is a little cat sleeping in Oikawa's lap
Sender: Tooru
Subject: Re: Hello
11/13 18:46
Neighbours cat got in the wrong room and now it doesnt want to get home.
Maybe i should keep it?
Sender: Kenma ☼
Subject: Re: Look
11/13 18:47
No.
Sender: Tooru
Subject: Re: Look
11/13 18:48
scared that it'll replace you? Dont worry you can always sit in my lap if you want to
☆⌒(ゝ。∂)
Kenma looks at the message and feels the heat crawling up his cheeks – was he flirting with him? He knows that this form of teasing is not unlikely between soulmates even if they aren't dating but still, he isn't sure how to react to that. His fingers are hovering over the keys, before he types out the response.
Sender: Kenma ☼
Subject: Re: Look
11/13 18:40
we dont see each other often so i cant sit in your lap. keep the cat if you miss me and feel lonely.
He wonders since when he feels bold like that and when he gets a crying emoticon back, he can't help the snort which escapes him.
*
Sender: Tooru
Subject: Important
11/20 15:42
Kenma, Kenma, Kuroo just told me your birthday was in October, why didn't you mention it??? We need to celebrate it asap!!!
Kenma doesn't know how to respond to that and he kind of likes the idea to meet up with him again, after all a month passed since they meet for the first time but the first snow is already falling and so going out in the cold doesn't sit well with him; he tries to persuade himself that this is the reason why he proposes the following suggestion.
Sender: Kenma ☼
Subject: Re: Important
11/20 15:42
Maybe we could meet at your place?
The heater is broken, he tells himself, so it's obvious that meeting at his place is rather unfortunate and when Oikawa doesn't even need a minute to answer that this is no problem, he is more than relieved.
*
Kenma takes a deep breath before he approaches Oikawa who waits for him at the train station, greets him with a nod while Oikawa smiles, though it's different from the first time he meet him, brigther. They walk in silence to his apartment, a short way which wouldn't leave much room for a conversation in the first place, Kenma likes to think, hands buried in the pockets of his coat, hoping to escape the cold.
“Iwa-chan isn't home so we have the living room to ourselves. How about watching this film you said you haven't watched yet?”
Anything is fine as long as they stay in this warm room, Kenma realises, feels how his whole body just unfreezes, from the tip of his toes up to his hands; this doesn't stop him from burying himself under two blankets when he sits next to Oikawa on the sofa.
It's pretty obvious why Kenma never watched this film, almost falls asleep because it is rather boring and Oikawa seems to realise that as well, so he presses stop and puts in another disk without even asking; it's an animation film Kenma has already seen but it's one of his favourites and so he wonders whether Oikawa just knows or asked Kuroo as well.
(Doesn't mean that he isn't glad about this.)
They sit in comfortable silence until there is a scene in a flower field and Kenma is reminded of the reason why he is even sitting here, almost shoulder to shoulder with a person he only meet once before. Tooru must have thought the same because when Kenma looks up, he is starring back at him (Kenma doesn't know that Oikawa had observed him for a while now, and maybe it's better that way).
“As a child I was fascinated by dandelions. Whenever we passed one I'd pick it and blow the seeds right in Iwa-chans face”, he tells Kenma all of a sudden, snickers before he looks lost in thoughts again.
“I always made three wishes instead of one. Iwa-chan would make fun of me because of that.”
“What did you wish for?”, Kenma wants to know, the film forgotten, more interested in listening to him.
“Staying together with my best friend Iwa-chan, always being able to play volleyball and finding my soulmate.”
He smiles and Kenma feels warm all over again, mentions that Kuroo would do this as well though he always told Kenma what he wished for which took the magic of the moment away.
“And you?”
Oikawa seems really interested in this, so that Kenma doesn't feel stupid when he answers such a trivial question, feels like someone really wants to know something about him.
“One time.”
“And what did you wish for?”
“Nothing.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
He just watched how they drifted away and he wondered if this was how his future would end up.
“You know, this way the flower spreads all over the earth and shares its beauty. Life is pretty cool like that, right?”, Kuroo had told him before he grinned (though it was swept of his face when he saw that the seeds got caught in his hair which made it even look messier than before – they'd still find the seeds a few days afterwards in their room).
“When summer comes again, we should do it together.”
It might be a bit silly, but maybe it's this simplicity which he craves, or it's because he wants to make Oikawa happy, that he agrees.
*
The film ends and Oikawa gets the phone to order something (“I'm not bad at cooking but I don't want you to get bored while you wait for dinner”) which he is ready to pay for, even if Kenma wants to complain about it, after all he already paid the first time for both of them and he can't really accept this again (“You're my guest, Kenma, don't sweat it”).
They are watching another one when the door rings, indicating their arrived order, so Oikawa pauses the film before he answers the door. Kenma makes some room on the table so that he doesn't feel useless and when Oikawa comes back, there is a smile on his lips, like he appreciates his doing (Kenma denies the blush which appears on his cheeks).
“I still haven't thanked Hinata for telling you about my mark... Though I wished he would have realised it sooner. But when he is so focused on the match it's no wonder he didn't”, Oikawa mentions when they are halfway trough the film and their food.
“No... He did but I couldn't do it”, Kenma corrects him, looks away like confessed a deep secret he is slightly ashamed of, misses the surprised look on Oikawa's face..
“Why?”
“I wasn't sure...”
Maybe he should stop being stuck in his childhood, should go forward and realise what destiny has to offer, after all there has to be a reason why he matches with Tooru.
Oikawa's gaze softens, no accusation shown in the way he looks at him and Kenma feels like something is stuck in his throat because why is he allowed to like such a gorgeous person? He smiles and Kenma is glad they are sitting down because he is sure his knees would give up otherwise.
“You know, I'm really glad to have someone like you as my soulmate”, Oikawa announces with no shame, like a truth he had to say so that Kenma wouldn't forget it, and it feels surprisingly easy to say it, feels comfortabel to admit it.
Kenma kisses him.
It's on a whim and he isn't sure if he should have done this in the first place and when he sees Oikawa's shocked expression, he doubts it. He feels like hiding but then he remembers what Kuroo told him about his confession, that your soulmate might not return your romantic feelings but that this would never part you and so he stays where he is, waits for Oikawa's response.
“Honestly surprising me like that...”
There is a blush spreading on his face and he shifts in his seat, as if he is uncomfortable and so Kenma wants to apologise but is cut of my another kiss, this time initiated by Oikawa.
“So, now we're even.”
Oikawa's cheeks are still tinted red but he looks pleased with himself and Kenma is sure that his own face has to be on fire or at least it feels like that.
“You still going to stay the night, right?”, Oikawa asks carefully as if he could fear that he Kenma suddenly considers this action a mistake and leaves; he sighs with relief when Kenma nods.
*
Oikawa offers him the bed in his room while he would sleep in Iwaizumi's room, but Kenma shakes his head and tells him that the sofa is enough for him; Oikawa doesn't argue with him and the sofa is certainly comfortable, so it's not like he has the possibility to.
“So... Should we go to bed? Catch some sleep?”
Kenma yawns which Oikawa considers as a “yes” and so he prepares the sofa for the younger one while he goes to the bathroom. It doesn't take them long and when Kenma comes back, the older one doesn't really know what to do at first. It's Kenma who takes the initiative, decides to change into his pyjamas.
When he takes of his shirt, Oikawa looks at his mark, the one Iwaizumi described to him in detail while he only saw it when looking into a mirror and without another word he leant forward and blew against it.
“Making a wish”, he says when Kenma jerks and turns around with wide eyes; he feels embarrassed to have done it so he rubs the back of his head (but maybe it was worth it, he thinks, seeing how even the tips of Kenma's ears are red and he looks flustered).
“Sorry”, he apologises nevertheless and Kenma realises that he is sincere, so he nods, hesitating before he tugs at Oikawa's shirt.
At first he doesn't know what he wants, can only see that he is embarrassed to voice it, but when he gets it, he smiles, pulls the shirt over his head and turns around so that Kenma can see his mark. He feels his fingertips against his skin for a moment, the coldness almost causing him to jump. He wonders what Kenma is going to do now, but nothing follows so he turns around and sees the uncertainty in his eyes.
“Good night”, he eventually mutters, looking him straight into the eyes; Oikawa returns this look with a smile.
“Good night. Sleep well”, Tooru replies, bends down and kisses his forehead, going to his room and leaving both of them flustered.
Kenma takes a last look at his phone, wonders if he should write Kuroo that everything is alright but decides on putting it away instead before he lies down, closing his eyes and trying to catch some sleep.
He'd rather talk to Kuroo in person and tell him that he might have fallen in love with his soulmate.
(And that this feeling was certainly mutual.)