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“And what kind of devil’s utensil is this? Is this for salads? So many prongs.”
“That’s a comb."
“Oh,” Ed squeaked. “Pfft, I know that."
Stede instantly felt bad. He watched Ed scratch his scraggly beard-covered chin a couple of times, which he had learned by now was a nervous tic Ed does whenever he’s embarrassed.
“I just haven’t seen them in this color before,” Ed mumbled. He slid his middle finger over the prongs, making them went bon-bon-bon-bon-boing, before putting one end in his mouth and giving it a nibble. “Hmm. Silver.”
“It’s said to do wonders for frazzled hair, the silver,” Stede hopped on the conversation like a drowning man would to a floating deck. “It decreases the frizz but keeps the volume of one’s hair lush.”
“Fucking hell,” Ed said. He gave the silver comb a wondrous look. That’s Ed’s reaction to most of Stede’s possessions. He’s surprised and delighted, he’s intrigued and tickled. He’s never disgusted, never questioned why, and never ridiculed any of Stede’s trinkets. He had only smiled with his mouth wide open, at the things, at Stede- and he’d say something like, that’s fucking mental, mate, I love it.
“Give it a try,” Stede said to Ed with the comb.
“Oof, I haven’t comb anything since I can remember, dunno if I know how to do it anymore.”
“It’s easy!” Stede assured enthusiastically. “You put it in your hair-“
Ed plunged the comb into the side of his head. Stede winced.
“-and pull down-“
Ed pulled. Nothing happened for a second.
“That’s it?” Ed asked, comb still in hand/hair.
“No no, it’s supposed to slide down.“
Ed pulled some more. “It’s not sliding. Am I doing it wrong?”
“No, that’s impossible, let me-“ Stede came over to the settee and positioned himself next to Ed. The silver comb glimmered in the long, wavy salt and pepper hair. He picked it up, only for it to bring a good chunk of hair with it.
“How did it get tangled in there so fast?” Stede wondered.
“Tangled?” Ed turned to look, only to be turned back by Stede so as not to tussle the comb even more. “Okay, just- cut it out, yeah?”
“We can’t cut it out!”
“Why not?”
“Because your hair is beautiful and cutting it is not an option, man!”
Ed stopped wiggling.
“You think my hair is beautiful?” He said in a small voice.
“Of course it’s beautiful, Ed. I may be an inexperienced pirate, but a blind one I am not,” Stede said, still fumbling with the comb. “Alright, hold still.”
He picked up a glass jar on the small wooden stand. When he unscrewed the top, Ed smelled a familiar floral scent. Stede scooped up a dollop of the content into his hand and rubbed it between his palms.
“What’s that?”
“Caster oil with lavender and pine, it’s rich food for hair."
“Can I try it?”
“Help yourself.”
Ed picked up the jar for a deep whiff. He poked his finger in there and put it in his mouth. Stede gasped behind him.
“Ed! It’s for your hair!”
“There’s plenty for my mouth to share!” And then he looked down and saw Stede’s got his fingers in his hair. Stede was gently patting the oil into Ed’s locks. The hair drank it up like raindrops on the desert ground. Stede put in more, slowly massaging, and worked his way up to the tangle. He pushed at the comb, careful to not pull anything.
“Here… et voila.”
The comb dropped onto Ed’s lap. Stede smiled, very proud his pomade worked its magic. To think he wasn’t going to pack it when he left town!
Ed hadn’t said a word.
“Now to deal with this,” Stede said, picking up the brush. He took the tangled lock in hand and started brushing it from the end. “If you ever visit Barbados, you’ll have so much fun at David’s.”
“Who’s this David, then?”
“David is- well, I’ve never met David myself, but I’m sure he’s a fine gentleman- no, David’s is this wonderful hair care parlor that carries the most exquisite products you can think of.”
“Mmm.”
“Vanilla bean, honey, coconut cream, infused with pomegranate juice, mint leaves, citrus-“
“And it’s all for your hair?”
“Indeed it is.”
“Mmm,” Ed mused. “Sounds lovely. Would love to go. Take a look.”
“Then we shall one day,” Stede replied. “Alright, you’re all done.”
“Do the other side.”
“Do the what?”
“Do the-“ Ed waved his hand on the other side of his head, doing a pull down motion.
“Someone’s being bossy!”
“Come on, mate,” Ed urged. He turned his whole body around and nudged Stede with the uncombed half of his head. “Come on, you’re an expert at this.”
Stede dutifully worked on the other side. He didn’t have anything better to do. In fact, nothing is more interesting than spending time with Ed. He combed and told Ed there’s this thing called a spa where you pay to get someone to massage your head. Ed said he’d never let anyone other than Stede touch his head, ‘cus what if the guy at the spa cut his head off when feeling up his noggin. Stede said that’s a bleak thought, and Ed shrugged. Stede promised to never cut Ed’s head off.
When he's done, he handed Ed a hand mirror. The Ed in the mirror had his hair half-up. The hair was shiny. Voluptuous. Ed scratched his chin.
“Looks good.”
“The comb worked.”
“You worked,” Ed said, placing the hand mirror down and returning the pomade jar to Stede. It’s completely empty. He burped and smacked his lips.
“Izzy!” Stede heard Ed shouted as he walked out to the deck, leaving behind the scent of lavender. “Set sails for Barbados. I need more hair food!”