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"You know how you really enjoyed those meals I made for you?"
Stiles let himself into the loft and Derek wondered why he didn't lock the door more often. "They were ok."
"I may not have a werewolf lie detector but don't even try that with me Mister. You destroyed everything I cooked for you."
"What did you come here for, Stiles?" Derek let out a huff of annoyance, placing his book down on the coffee table.
"Right." Stiles slung his bag off his shoulders to dig out a crumpled flier. "So I've been invited to Caroline's - that's Terry's best friend - I've been invited to her party and told that the plus one is non negotiable."
"No."
"Now I knew you would say that, so I came prepared with my proposal this time."
"And you telling these girls that you're actually single and just don’t want to date isn't an option, why?" Derek folded his arms across his chest as he subtly scented the air to try and guess what was in Stiles' bag that smelt so good.
Derek's sniffing wasn't as subtle as he thought it was. "Because I'm a real catch and it's just easier to claim a pretend boyfriend than turn all these people down!"
Derek scoffed at that.
"I'm serious. Lanky and smart is the new jock nowadays. But that's not the point." Stiles brandished his flier once more. "If you agree to be my date to this party then I will cook you dinner for a week."
"No."
"Dinner for a week plus these delicious brownies that are still warm from the oven." Stiles pulled a tupperware container from his bag and set it on the kitchen counter.
Stiles could see Derek's interest peeking.
"No."
"They're the good kind. Filled with chocolate chunks that at this point are all warm and gooey."
Stiles hit bellow the belt and opened the lid to the container, 'accidentally' wafting the smell of the baked goods over to Derek.
"…"
"Every second you don't agree to go with me as my date, the chocolate chunks are cooling and solidifying."
"What's to stop me from just taking the brownies, saying no, and then locking you out of my loft?"
"Now see, I had a feeling you'd threaten me like that." Stiles bent down and pulled a small sandwich bag out of his bag and opened it, holding it over the brownies. "So I went ahead and grinded up some wolfsbane. Answer in the negative again and the brownies get it."
"…Fine. I'll go."
"Yus!" Stiles did a small victorious dance, Sealing the wolfsbane and putting it back in his bag. He continued to dance in victory as he took the container of brownies over to Derek, who did his best to not immediately take one. "Now let's get our facts straight on how you scored all of this." Stiles motioned in the general area of himself and the brownies.
Derek scoffed with a mouthful of brownies and somehow managed not to choke.
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"I feel the specifications of this party should have been made clear before I was threatened with poison to go." Derek pointed out as he got out of the camero.
"You would have never agreed to this if I'd told you that it was a formal tea party. Besides, it's your own fault for not reading the flier first."
Derek let out a low warning growl. Stiles merely waved the sound off with a flick of his hand.
"Now get over here so I can fuss over my 'boyfriend' as Caroline, Terry, and all their friends pretend they are stealthy as they spy on us from between the hedges."
Derek didn't budge an inch as Stiles made his way over to him instead, straightening his shirt collar and smoothening the non-existent wrinkles out over his shoulders and chest. Stiles had made him go out and buy dress shoes, black slacks and a crisp white, short-sleeved dress shirt. Stiles himself was wearing grey slacks, red converse, a long-sleeved white dress shirt that had some sort of fancy pattern on it that only really showed up when the light hit it, and a dark navy blue waist coat.
"You look… weird." Derek pointed out unhelpfully, Stiles' hands still on his chest as he got into Derek's personal space.
"I know, right. But the fancy business world requires something a little more formal than hoodies unfortunately."
"I see your converse didn't get the memo." Derek smirked.
"I'll die before they make me wear those awful, souless shoes."
"A-huh." Derek's smirk only got wider as Stiles took his hands off of Derek to glare at him for his 'caveman speak'. "Maybe if you roll the sleeves up you'll look less… weird."
Stiles looked down at his sleeves. "You may have a point there." He undid the left button on his sleeve cuff and moved to undo the right when Derek stopped him with a hand over his.
When Stiles looked up at him in confusion Derek merely cocked his head over to the whispering shrubbery. "It'll make them loose their shit, trust me."
Derek undid the right button and began rolling the sleeves up to Stiles' forearms in crisp, clean folds.
And true to his word, the whispering bushes sighed and giggled and made other girly sounds that had Stiles' cheeks flushing ruddy.
"I sense regret in my future." Stiles spoke as Derek linked their arms, smiling lovingly as they strolled into the tea party.
"Your near future." Derek corrected him.
Derek turned out to be the perfect networking partner. Charming the ladies with his carefree smile. Charming the men with manly sports talk. It also really helped that he was able to follow along with all the business lingo. Although the tech speak had him screwing his brow up in confusion more often than not.
His arm was nearly always around Stiles' waist, pulling Stiles' weight into his frame. And when Stiles was working his networking magic, Derek would just look at him like he was the luckiest guy in the world to have landed somebody as amazing as Stiles.
All in all, seeing Derek act like this was throwing him way off kilter.
When the tea party was over and they had said their goodbyes, Derek linked hands with him back to the camero, opening the passenger for Stiles and gently closing it behind him.
Once Derek was seated behind the wheel, Stiles turned to him and blurted, "You realise that you're going to have to come with me to every one of these functions from now on, right?"
"Hm." Derek reversed out of where he was parked and drove them away from the party. "You're just going to have to bring more bargaining goods with you from now on."
"Urgh." Stiles thumped his head on the window.