Work Text:
'My father's calling me
And I can't turn away
He wants a word with me
But I won't get to speak
My father's calling me
To tell me I should change
He says it's best for me
But I don't feel the same'
Father Said – Red Handed Denial
“Father said you need to start training.”
“Father said you have to study more.”
“Father said we can't keep the puppy.”
“Father said you need to transfer schools.”
Father said...
Father said...
Father said...
He Tian's father seems to have a fair bit to say about his life though it's rarely, if ever, said directly to him. Nearly all communication between father and youngest son has been made through the conduit son, He Cheng. For the first few years of his life He Tian didn't think twice about that, he never questioned why his father wasn't around and he never thought to question the brother he so dearly loved. As he got older though his eyes were slowly opened to the cruelty that surrounded him and the authoritative callousness of their father. It was something that He Cheng had tried to shield him from but those efforts were all in vain. Nothing could be done to keep He Tian from living the life that was preordained for him.
For their sire loved nothing more than power and control, the man found it perfectly agreeable to sacrifice his own sons happiness, their futures, their lives for his own egotistical pursuits.
He Tian is convinced that his father's insatiable hunger for power had cost their mother her life and he would never forgive him as long as he drew breath. His father has never shown a shred of remorse for contributing to her demise.
He Tian suspects that there was never any love in their marriage to begin with and with her death, there was no love lost.
When He Cheng had the audacity to tell him “Father cares about you.” he wanted to ask what delusion his brother was laboring under but he already knew the answer, he was the perfect little soldier after all. Their father took great pains to mold and brainwash He Cheng into what he is now. He's lived under their father's inescapable rule for half a lifetime longer than He Tian and he suspects that in order for his older brother to reconcile what has done and what he has still to do, he has to believe that his father cares about them. To be fair, He Tian does believe that his father cares about him, just not in the way He Cheng is trying to convince him.
Even the heartless can care about objects.
Still, it was the first time in years that he heard He Cheng say anything about their father that didn't start with 'Father said.'.
Presently, the brothers stand outside of their father's office. He Tian hasn't been here in years but he would bet everything he owns that not a single object in the room will be in a different position than he remembers. His father is consistent, steadfast, absolute. He Cheng is by his side, a silent pillar that He Tian can no longer childishly lean on. He still resents his brother for a lot of things but he's starting to recognize the completely unfair position he has been forced into by their father and so much of He Tian's bitterness at his father has been misdirected at his brother.
His brother did the best that he could.
He can't run from this. He's had his fun, he was able to get just a few more precious moments with Mo Guan Shan and now he has to face his future head on.
He Cheng steps forward to take the door handle, once again making himself a barrier between Tian and their father. He Tian grabs his wrist, stopping him. Cheng's dull grey eyes shift to meet his and He Tian wonders how long it will take for his to become their mirror image. He suspects it won't take long.
The brothers communicate without a word spoken between them. Silently, He Cheng takes a step back and allows He Tian to be the one to open the door.
Heavy mahogany doors part and reveal the same deep navy blue walls he remembers from his youth. The fixtures are all ornate and ostentatious, speaking of old money and outdated taste. Not for the first time, He Tian muses that he and his father could not be more different.
Unsurprisingly, he was correct in his prediction that nothing in the room would be different from his memory. The only thing that has been changed by the passage of time is his father. He has the same domineering presence as ever, somehow broader than both Cheng and himself despite his age but there are new lines in his face and he looks inconceivably colder.
“He Tian, welcome home. My, how you've grown~.”
The younger brother has to fight the urge to roll his eyes. He knows damn well that his father has him under surveillance and that he receives regular updates from He Cheng. His appearance is no surprise to his father at all.
He Tian inclines his head in greeting, “Father, you look well.” He says while the 'unfortunately' remains unsaid but they both know it's implied.
The old man smiles wider and He Tian knows he can detect his discomfort and he's thriving on it.
He will never want to believe or accept that he came from this monster.
It's unfortunate that he finds himself here. He Tian had tried to avoid ever falling into his fathers plans for him but it seems he was unable to avoid them.
The last time they spoke he had told his father he wouldn't return.
“That will depend on your abilities.” His father said to him and in the moment he wrote it off but the time has come for him to prove that to himself. Now he needs to prove his abilities. For the first time in his life something he cares about is on the line and his cunning father knew that his attachment to the redhead would lead him back to his familial duties.
Well played, old man.
“The school transfer process is complete. I expect you to be packed up and ready to move by Thursday at noon. A car will be sent to you, all travel has been arranged for you.”
Less than two days, He Tian notes to himself. At least he'll have time to say goodbye...
In the most condescending tone imaginable his father says, “Yes, even I can be merciful at times, He Tian. You'll be able to say goodbye to your little friends.”
He feels his jaw jump as he strains to keep himself silent.
“That's right, I know all about that ill tempered redheaded boy. Just because I didn't say anything didn't mean I approved of your inappropriate attachment to him.”
Obviously He Tian never believed his father would approve of anything he did and Mo Guan Shan was no exception but his blood boils just hearing the way his father speaks of the other boy, like he's trash, like he's nothing when he means absolutely everything to He Tian.
Someone like his father would never understand that though. He doesn't have the capacity or ability to love and it's just another point of contrast between them.
It's infuriating, if anything his father should be thanking the other boy. Mo Guan Shan was the only reason He Tian had bothered to speak directly to his father in the past year. He set his pride and self-respect aside to try to talk with him and the bastard left him hanging for three full days, only bothering to speak to him once he resorted to violence. It really was the only way to communicate with his father. Shows of force were all he seemed to acknowledge or recognize.
He Tian is certain it's too late now to try to convince his father that there is nothing between himself and Mo Guan Shan. Even so, he keeps up the air of nonchalance and doesn't allow his father to provoke him.
Mo Guan Shan has already come to harm due to He Tian's proximity once and he will not allow his father to utilize him as a pawn anymore than he apparently already has. His father is cunning and ruthless, no means of manipulation are beneath the older man so He Tian needs to make the decision right now, in this moment, to sever his feelings and his ties with Little Mo.
It's not an easy decision to come to but Little Mo's safety is worth more than anything else, there is nothing that He Tian holds more dear. He Tian feels a part of himself closing off, locking itself away so that he can become what he was always meant to be.
It's disturbing that he doesn't need to say a word for his father to know that he's won.
“Welcome home, He Tian.” His father says and it sounds less like a welcome and more like a condemnation.