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There's a knock at the door soft, hesitant, almost as if they hoped it wouldn't be heard. And that wouldn’t have been the case had the Commander actually respected the late hour. Instead, she was hunched at her desk, reading in silence. The woman's hazel eyes, half-lidded until hearing the knock, now wide, shot towards the door.
Shepard rose and approached the door fully expecting the Quarian ball of curiosity to be on the other side. Tali, when not down in Engineering, often was seen inspecting the ship. She would knock, or press the face of her helmet against walls, hoping to get a feel of the material and vibrations of the ship. At first, it made most of the human crew uneasy, not the Commander. Truth be told, she found it quite cute, it reminded her of herself. A curious young girl who couldn't contain herself when a ship came to Mindoirs port.
Shepard opened the door. "Liara?”
"Oh, Commander, I apologize…” the archeologist backed away, the blue of her cheeks turned a deeper hue. “I read and observed that humans will knock on a door to make their presence known or ask permission to entry.”
Their eyes met for a moment before Liara's blues darted away. The Commander took note of how those bright wide eyes were now strained, darker even.
Had Ash been bugging her once again? Did she have a hard time sleeping too? Was the Asari sleep cycle like that of humans? Was it today? Then it hit her.
“I apologize if I woke you-”
"Don't worry about it, I was just reading, doing some research. But, is everything alright?" Liara shook her head.
"After today, I find myself unable to rest. Though often stimulating, talking with you is pleasant. May I come in?”
"Of course." Shepard offered a smile and stepped aside to let her in. "Make yourself at home"
That innocent face contorted with confusion and Shepard couldn't help but chuckle just a bit.
"Human expression, come on in." She follows her companion back into her quarters and leans against her desk. Liara's gaze is fixed upon the datapad beside her for a moment. Shepard felt a question coming.
"May I ask the contents of your research?" Her voice soft yet distant.
"Protheans," she shot a look towards the doctor, catching a spark of interest in those blue eyes.
“It's a collection of papers written by some hotshot young Asari Doctor on what we can assume of the characteristics and fall of Prothean civilization." The deep blue, nearer purple now, returned.
"You’re reading my papers?" It sounded as if it were a thought not quite supposed to be said aloud. Shepard wished it wasn’t so incredulous of an action to be that surprised that someone was actually taking time to pay attention to her work.
"I've seen the ruins on Mars during Alliance training, but with everything we're doing out here I've had to recontextualize everything I thought I knew. As it turns out, being nearly a living Prothean relic doesn’t change the fact I know near nothing of them. It feels right to learn of previous adversaries of a similar enemy, it feels like I owe them that much at least.” She inspected her hand for a moment. Mimicking the position it was in as she shielded herself from the blast of the Beacon from what seemed like ages ago now. “And if there's any archeologist I trust to learn it from, it's got to be my absolute favorite Doctor."
"I'd be cautious saying that on this ship Shepard. Doctor Chawkwas might get jealous." If there was any smile in the whole of the galaxy that could pierce a heart faster than light itself, it belonged to Liara T'soni. It wasn't long before Shepard found herself trying to match it by widening her own.
“Not that I have many, but any friends or acquaintances I made, would write off my fascination with the Protheans as fanatic or ‘too short-lived to be viable.’”
“Not very good friends if they’re just plain cruel. Perhaps they were jealous, because if I know anything now, which I do from your adorable ramblings and might I add exceptionally well-written papers," she tapped the datapad. "I know you’re a professional in your field and just so passionate.” Her cheeks turned rosy but she kept her voice cool. “If there's anything definitive that drew me to you in the first place, other than a Prothean archeology site, it was that intense drive you’ve got for all this.” She locked her gaze with the Doctor’s “It’s incredible, you’re incredible."
Liara approached Shepard, confidence blooming with every step towards her. The distance between them closing with the holding of hands.
“That's the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Shepard could’ve sworn her heart would begin beating out of her own chest like a cartoon character as Liara’s words were clear and lidden with this underlying flirtatious edge. “Thank you, Shepard.”
It damn near drove the Commander crazy, so she turned her attention elsewhere. To hands. Liara’s hands were much softer than her own. Where callouses nearly coated her palms and the tips of her fingers, the Asari's felt delicate, holding the humans as if they were ready to slip from her own. It may have felt silly to admit, but as she settled into the calm between them, it made Shepard feel all giddy inside. It was as if her stolen teenage years were returned to her for just a moment. Their attraction was known between them, but Shepard knew it went further than just that.
Though silence between them is a welcome peace more often than not, there was something terrible tugging within. It was heavy. Lurking in the shadows. The Doctor kept her gaze trained on the olive-toned fingers locked within hers. Silently observing, delaying the inevitable, her smile faltering. A subtley tightening grip. A hitched breath. The silence now a sour tension. Enough so that Shepard felt it creep up her spine.
"Liara-" the Asari shut her eyes, humans were fascinating enough to her, more so Shepard, Liara wanted to take in all she could. "I'm sorry...” Shepard swallowed, "..for what happened earlier, on Noveria.”
Blue eyelids remained shut during her response. "You needn't worry, Shepard. Benezia was gone before she fell under Sovereigns power..." She fought to keep her voice steady.
“That doesn't make it any easier to overcome." Shepard gave her hand a slight squeeze. "She still raised you, how I know- knew her, that couldn't be all there was."
"She wasn't always like this, you are correct, she was a good person once." A ghost of a smile reappeared. "It's better to remember her as she used to be. Rather than how twisted she became."
Shepard was about to speak before she saw Liara open her eyes. They were glossy, tears ready to fall. It was a sight to break the toughest of hearts.
“Though possibly the best way to think of all this, I will admit. I can’t help but have my mind stuck on different approaches."
"Well, if you'd like to express them, I have two ears ready to listen-”
“They are rather peculiar protrusions…” Shepard couldn’t help but sigh.
“Every non-human I meet says that…” It took a second to keep herself from reaching up and touching her own ears, and another for her to get back on track. “But I mean it, really.”
"I believe I'd like that..." A tear fell from an eye, Liara unclasped one of her hands to wipe it away. "There are parts of me that just want something to blame. Partially her, other parts Saren himself. Having passed, I don't think retribution from Benezia is attainable, nor something I truly desire.” More tears fell, she didn't bother wiping them. "In the case of Saren, we have reason enough to bring him down. I'd rather not add vengeance to that already large list.”
Shepards' free hand was the one to wipe her now frequent tears. When it calmed, the hand went to caress her cheek, to which the Asari leaned into with a deep exhale.
“Shepard?”
“Yes?”
“Above all else, my mother being a Matriarch, I always expected to outlive her. In some instances, I even prepared for such.” Her breath hitched. “But to have her taken just like that-” Voice beginning to break. “She was my mother.” The next words came out barely louder than a whisper. “I just miss her so much.”
Liara broke. Despite being a few inches taller than the Commander, she began to look so small as she sunk into her tears. Shepard stood not quite knowing what to do next before it clicked. She had seen this before. It was sadly too familiar of a sight to the Commander. For what seemed to be almost a lifetime ago, it's all she ever saw when she looked in the mirror. A child left alone to mourn the loss of whatever family they've ever known.
But Liara was different.
Their clasped hands broke apart as Shepards' hand on her cheek reached around to hold the back of her head. Using her free arm to wrap around her waist, she pulled Liara into a hug. One that the taller of the two reciprocated rather tightly, sobbing into Shepards' shoulder. They could've stood there like that for just a mere few minutes or hours, the Commander couldn't tell anymore. It almost reminded her of a meld they'd had done before. Except sharing the recollective heaviness of grief instead of foreign knowledge.
As she began to settle down, Shepard began “I'm so sorry Liara.” She cried too as she began to trace her underside head ridges with her fingers, rubbing her back with her other hand. “When you looked me up on the extranet, it said I was from a colony called Mindoir, did you ever find out what happened to it?” She just nodded into her shoulder as a response. Shepard tilted her head up, steadying her eyes on the cold metal ceiling, hoping it would allow her to go on without sinking herself. “In the attack... I lost my entire family that day.” Liara pulled away and gave her a look of sympathy, she'd only ever heard Mindoir wasn’t something you could just discuss with the Commander. She never knew. Shepard met her eyes and just shook her head in response “I had no one, not after that. Not for years after..." Tears ran across her pursed lips as she straightened herself out. "And I know our situations aren't at all similar... But I know you’ll be different. This will be different.” She couldn't recall if she'd ever spoken so delicately. “You won’t be alone. I promise.”
New tears fell from Liara’s eyes accompanied now by a smile. As Shepard wiped them once more, she found herself frozen gazing at Liara's soft face.
You’re so beautiful Liara.
Is what Liara would’ve heard if Shepard hadn’t suddenly yawned instead of speaking, or what she'd hear if she could read Shepard's mind. Which was possible, but the Commander was mostly sure they weren’t in a meld.
The heaviness in her eyes coupled as a futher indicator she couldn't deny sleep any longer. Liara must've noticed as her lips curled into a frown, and brows furrowed.
"I apologize Shepard-" the Commander shook her head once again,
"Liara, I'm here for you. I care about you.” She smiles, "a lot.” Liara sniffed and smiled back. “That means if you need a shoulder to cry on, or just need to let something out, I'm here. I'm right here. You don't have to be sorry."
"I- thank you, Shepard, for everything."
"You're welcome, Liara.” Hazel eyes shifted down to blue lips, Shepard nearly kicked herself. Instead, she yawned again.
“I guess it's time for the both of us to get some rest?” Liara noted.
"Yeah," she tried hard to not sound disappointed. "Goodnight Liara."
“Sweet dreams,” she replied looking a little proud for using the human phrase, she assumed, correctly. It looked as though she’d step away, but instead, “I don't want to go,” and very sternly too.
“What a coincidence," Shepard grinned wide. "I want you to stay.”
The two, undressed to their underclothes, lay in Shepard’s large bed. Much better for a good night's rest than the Alliance standard cot issued to most of the crew of the Normandy that's for sure. Liara deserved that much.
They were too tired to do much else than just rest, it didn’t feel right to do much else that night. Maybe someday, when this Saren business was finally put to rest.
Though just as tired as Liara, Shepard stayed awake longer, holding her resting blue figure close to her own body. In truth, she was horrified. It was evident she was falling for Liara. Much more than she originally thought she could. But the stakes of the mission grew higher and higher. Many lives had already been lost.
Shepard didn't want to break her promise. She pressed a soft kiss to Liara’s crest and shut her eyes, hoping it was enough.