Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a peaceful and sunny day in the recently established cookie kingdom. The birds were chirping, the kid cookies were laughing and playing, while the adults went on with their day, drinking coffee and chatting.

Espresso cookie, however, was in his dark lab. Curtains closed. The only source of light were the small lamps on his machinery, magic, and an actual desk lamp. He had broken his record for working nonstop without sleep. He has been awake for almost three weeks now.

The mage was shaking heavily from the high caffeine intake, despite being made from caffeine. His eyes were getting more and more unfocused as he went on. His heart was palpitating and his breathing was irregular. He smelled heavily of burnt coffee and sweat. His hands and clothes were white from the chalk, his hair was in extreme disarray, and so was his lab. Books and papers were strewn everywhere and his chalkboards were a mess of almost illegible scribbles. All in all, the scene was uncomfortable to look at.

But he didn't care. He was THIS CLOSE to finding a new spell. Said spell being a coffee-based teleportation spell. He literally had to transfigure and adapt the very structure of coffee and space to make this work. And he was frustrated. He failed for three weeks straight. But he knows. He WAS SO SURE! He was sure that he will be able to do it.

In a matter of seconds, the door burst open. Espresso almost screamed from the sudden intrusion and dropped the cup of void black coffee. "FUCK!!" Espresso was ready to murder. The stuff he worked at for three fucking weeks was now on the floor.

"Espresso! I have not seen you around for weeks! Are you o-" Madeleine cookie ducked when a book went flying his way. He gasped as he took in the sight that was Espresso. The mage looked absolutely terrible.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!!" Espresso screamed. "shit shit SHIT FUCK" Espresso was picking something up from the floor. Madeleine looked at where he was and saw the voidish liquid. His face fell when he realized that this was probably what Espresso was working on. The paladin felt terrible for ruining his experiment. He clenched the bag he brought and bit his lip. Before he left, he put said bag on a nearby desk, which was just as cluttered as the rest of the lab, and mumbled a quiet apology.

Espresso sat on the floor, picking up the shards of the cup. The liquid already looked like regular coffee again, and more quiet curses left the mage. As he picked up the bottom of the cup though, he saw some of the void was left at the bottom. He gasped. He might still be able to save it!

In a heartbeat he rushed to his desk and put the remaining liquid in a clean cup. It was barely a sip, but it might be enough. He took a sponge and wiped most of the chalk scribbles on one of his chalkboards away. He grabbed a new piece of chalk from a now empty box which used to be full three weeks ago and wrote down calculations in his shaky and nearly illegible writing.

He started adding the last few ingredients. Surprisingly, it diluted and became more than just a sip. The voidish liquid turned into a galaxy looking liquid, and Espresso was elated. This is it, he thought.

He swirled the cup. The galaxy pattern didn't change at all. It was as if he was looking through a window…Now, to test it out. Without hesitation, he swallowed all of it.

And with that, he passed out.

___________

It was a nice day. The citizens were going on with their business, the sound of cars filled the air, and the neon lights lit the artificial sky. Maise were crawling through the alley in which a certain puppet was residing in. The dumpster was too cramped to sit in all day, so Spamton decided to sit outside of it instead.

His hair was strangely well kept for living in a dumpster. His porcelain like body was scratched and dented, but very clean. His suit jacket however, had some stains. It was hard to clean fabric around here…

Spamton stood up when he saw something flicker in his field of vision. "What the [4.99]"

A strange liquid flickered into existence. The alley was warmly lit up by the floating galaxy stuff. Hesitantly, he stepped forward. His mind immediately jumped to how he could advertise and sell it. Something in his mind told him to keep his damaged and covered hands off of it, but he didn't listen. Instead, he completely sunk his hands into said strange liquid. He let out a startled gasp from the sudden intrusion, but before he could retreat his hands, he passed out.

The last thing he registered was a strong coffee scent.

_______

Espresso groaned. Shit, he fell asleep… Wait no,, he didn't fall asleep.. Did,, did his invention work? He sat up and gasped. Something felt incredibly wrong. The mage decided to look around. A smile formed on his face. It worked!

His smile fell when he realized that he didn't know where he was at. "Damn.." He startled when a deep and static-y voice came out instead of his own. He also noticed a long and white object in his field of view and reached up to touch it. He was even further startled when a puppet-like hand came up to touch the object. And the thing that made him scream was when both the hands came up and felt around the outlines of his(?) face.

The screaming wasn't even screaming. It sounded like pure garbage noise and he stopped by slamming his hands over his mouth.

What the fuck is going on!?

Hesitantly, he stood up, but buckled as soon as intense pain shot through the entire body he was in. He yelped, not wanting to scream again. What was wrong with this body!

Espresso stumbled out of the alley, taking a look around. His eyes had to adjust to the strange neon lights. What a strange place…

______

The first thing Spamton felt was hunger. It wasn't unusual. What was unusual however, was the overwhelming smell of coffee that surrounded him. When he tried to sit up, he gasped when a sudden and intense wave of exhaustion hit him. His strangely sensitive arms shivered and gave up, making him fall flat on his face again.

It took Spamton several attempts to stand up. Once he was up, he grabbed a nearby desk because he could barely keep his balance. He felt,,, flat. As he looked at his hands, he realized why.

He WAS flat. And incredibly so. How was he even standing right now?? He held his hand to his face and took a whiff. He smelled delicious…

He took a bite but instantly regretted it when intense pain shot through his system. He didn't flinch or cringed at all due to being used to constant chronic pains. He was delicious though. The Ex-Salesman took a look around, taking in the messy scenery. He saw a bag on a desk and his instincts told him it contained food.

He was right. There was a sweet smelling burger and some glazed donuts inside. "What a feast!" The voice that came out startled him enough to flinch however, lose his balance, and fall face first onto the floor again.

Several attempts at standing up later, he grabbed the bag with food and shoved it in his mouth without a break. He was a little disappointed that the box was empty now, so he decided to go out.

Spamton regretted it the moment this bright thing hit his face. He fell over again, backwards this time from the overwhelming brightness of the light. He covered his face with his flat hands, realizing that he wore glasses. A small smile formed on his face. Does that mean he still had his Deal Maker?

______

Espresso was now wandering through the streets of this neon city. It was… quite beautiful, he must admit. The only thing which irritated him was the lack of vegetation, or real sunlight.

The mage wandered around aimlessly. He received some weird stares, which was understandable. Espresso himself would like to have a good, full look on the body he was inhabiting. A few blocks away, he came across a large store window. He took the opportunity to look at himself.

He gasped.

He was a monochromatic puppet with round glasses, which looked almost like his own. The thing in his vision turns out to be a long nose. He went to touch it again, but up until now, he didn't realize that he couldn't feel anything except the pressure of touching things and chronic pains throughout his whole body. How bothersome…

With a sigh, he continued on. After hours of wandering, he went back to the place he came from. Which was an alley with a dumpster. Must be a homeless guy then.. Exhaustion crawled up his spine and he realized that he hasn't had a cup of coffee all day! With another sigh, he fished through the garbage of the dumpster and was surprised to find a decently clean, plain white cup.

On pure instinct, Espresso activated his coffee magic. He didn't think twice about the fact that he wasn't in his body and that it might not even work. But it did. The smell of coffee filled the whole alley and the cup slowly filled up with coffee, said coffee coming from a magic circle he summoned into the bottom of the cup. The mage usually uses his machines to make coffee, but he didn't have them. So he had to rely purely on memory to recreate the perfect taste. Once the cup was full, he smiled a little. The smell was as wonderful as ever.

Before he could take a sip, he realized that some people were peeking into the alley.

"What, can't I enjoy a cup of [Coffee on sale!] in peace?"

He was a little startled from the sudden radio-like advertisement that interrupted his speech but glared at the curious crowd nonetheless. With that, the crowd slowly dispersed. One stayed, though. It was a tall, bird-like creature who had a white face(?), black hair(?), and bi colored glasses, as well as a stylish outfit to match said glasses. The creature moved towards him with a calm smile.

"Spamton, I didn't know you could brew coffee. In,, in an alley nonetheless."

Espresso almost wanted to ask who Spamton was before he realized that this was most likely the name of the puppet man he was in. With a nervous side glance, he asked. "Who might you be?"

Swatch looked a little taken aback by that question. Spamton and them used to spend a lot of time together, so him not knowing who they were was mildly upsetting. "It's me, Swatch."

Espresso felt mildly uncomfortable from that interaction. He only wanted a coffee, not the whole city's attention. Now he has to deal with this Swatch person.

"I'm sorry, but maybe you have the wrong person."

Swatch tilts their head. "Spamton, I've known you for years. I'd recognize you even if the acid would've left heavier damage.

Acid? That would explain the glazed wooden coverings all over, as well as the lack of feeling in his limbs.

Espresso tried taking a sip, only to realize that his lower jaw is also a wooden replacement. He spilled a little on his suit. Shit.

"[!$%=]"

Swatch looked worried at that. Espresso just glared at the bird creature. He sighed and attempted to take a proper sip this time, which he succeeded at.

"What. Why are you still here?"

"... Spamton, we literally thought you were dead for like two years…"

"..We?"

"The Addisons."

The what. Espresso wanted to ask who they were so bad, but decided to ask later. He had priorities. Said priorities involve getting lab equipment and making another potion to get back home. So with his usual forced business smile and calm eyes he looked at Swatch.

"Listen, [Big Bird]. This is a mix-up. Quite literally. I am the founder of [Coffee on Sale!] Magic and have accidentally switched bodies with your [[BEST FRIENDS!!]]"

Swatch was stunned. Was he being serious? Although, they have never seen an expression like that on Spamton, nor did Spamton ever have the ability to make coffee that smelled as good as this one. With a deep sigh, Swatch pushed their glasses further up their beak.

"I see…Is there anything I can help you with, Mr.…?"

"I am Espresso Cookie. And yes. I do require some things to revert and or repeat the spell."

Swatch nodded. Odd name, but pretty much everyone they met had a strange name, so this wasn't all too weird. With a hand gesture, they signaled for the other to follow them.

Espresso followed the bird person to a little Café inside a palace. He immediately smiled from the smell of coffee that greeted him in said Café. He's definitely going to find a way.

__________

Spamton was walking around town in this flat and exhausted body. Each step felt like a marathon, but he didn't mind. Chronic pain was definitely worse than the exhaustion this body was in. What was worse about this body, however, was its shakiness. He was shivering harder than those drug addicts he sometimes shared a dumpster with. Dumpsters,,

His stomach rumbled. A dumpster,, he needed to find one. Luckily for him, there were plenty around. He saw a Café and decided to dumpster-dive in this one. With the elegance of a racoon, he jumped head first into the garbage container.

As he was not so quietly scavenging food, he didn't hear a set of footsteps approach.

"... Espresso?"

A deep and exhausted, yet concerned voice rang through the alley. Spamton halted in his actions. Espresso? The beverage?

"Espresso, what are you doing in a garbage can?"

Almond cookie asked. Spamton finally decided to peek out, only to be face to face with a stern looking cookie man. He flinched and landed back in the trash. The cookie sighed and grabbed him by the scruff, pulling Spamton out in one quick move. Spamton blinked.

"So, what exactly were you doing inside a garbage can, Espresso."

Ohh,, so he actually IS a cookie,, and he's Espresso flavored, apparently. Maybe he should play along?

"..." Before Spamton could get a word out, his stomach rumbled loudly.

Almond sighed. He personally disliked anything magic related, but since this mage was his girlfriend's younger brother, he couldn't not help him. Almond had to refrain from asking though, as to why he looked like he went through a hurricane.

The other's hair was tied back and messy, and now even had some trash in it, his clothes were stained and smelled horrid…Almond wasn't sure if it was from the trash he was in or if Espresso actually let himself go like that,, what was most peculiar however, were his glasses. The other wore pink and yellow bicolored glasses. Everything was accompanied by an odd expression. It wasn't a smile, neither was it a grimace. He looked as if he struggled to control his facial muscles.

It didn't take long for them to arrive at Latte's place. She wasn't home since she had to go back to Parfaedia to teach, and much to Almond's displeasure, she wouldn't be home for another three weeks. He will go back in two, since his vacation wasn't that long. And now, he would have to deal with this troublemaker.

Upon entering, Almont took his coat off and gestured for Espresso to sit while he made a sandwich. Spamton did just that. He looked around and smiled. At least, tried to. Now his face really looked like a grimace. He hasn't been in a house since his Big Shot days! His smile only widened when Almond came back with a plate which held a nice looking sandwich.

As he was about to grab the plate, his smile fell a little. The last time he got offered food, it was poisoned. A sceptical look crossed his features. Almond raised a brow.

"What, don't like tomatoes?"

"How do I know it's not poisoned?"

Almond looked almost stunned. Poisoned? What's he on about?

"It's not."

Spamton made a grimace. Unintentionally, of course. He tried to look serious, but he looked pouty instead. His stomach growled hard, but his face remained the same.

Almond sighed and put the plate on the table in front of them and sat on the opposing couch. Spamton still looked at him, but this time it was an almost thoughtful look. He looked desperate, but still thoughtful. Almond almost felt sorry for him.

Actually, it reminded Almond of a case in which a magician accidentally swapped bodies with his familiar.. What if something similar happened to Espresso? Didn't Latte say he was up to something? Yea. No,, that would explain a lot. Almond sighed. Time for some interrogation.

"Who are you." Almond bluntly stated.

The other's face contorted into what could be considered an almost forced Salesman smile. "MY NAME IS SPAMTON G. SPAMTON. HAHAHAHHEHEHAHEH"

Almond flinched from that creepy, almost mechanical laugh. The weird head tilts didn't make it any better. But he was right. This was NOT Espresso Cookie.

But who the hell is Spamton?

Chapter Text

Espresso was looking around the Café. Swatch gestured for Espresso to sit at the bar.

"You must be hungry."

The mage blinked. He was just so used to being hungry, that he didn't notice exactly HOW hungry this body was. He would sometimes starve himself for a week or two before he'd pass out from lack of energy. So having been awake for three weeks was quite the record breaker for him. Though, he didn't know how long this body didn't eat.

Wait,, Was the thing Madeleine brought,,

No, he shouldn't touch that subject yet. He could think about his childhood crush some other time when he was back home.

He nodded. After all, it wasn't his body he was in, so he should probably take more care.

"Well, what would you like?" Swatch handed Espresso a menu.

"..." Everything on the menu didn't make the slightest bit of sense. With a sigh, Espresso reluctantly ordered something random off the menu.

After some wait, Swatch came back with a plate of said random thing and a cup of plain coffee. The mage said his thanks and bit into,, probably,, a bagel.

He struggled again with the drinking, but almost spat it out anyway.

"That coffee is terrible. Who brewed this [$#!+]?"

Swatch chuckled. "A coffee machine. Neither me, nor the Swatchlings know how to brew coffee, so we're kinda at a loss there."

Espresso already knew that his departure would have to be delayed. This was simply unacceptable! He hated nothing more than insolent fools who disrespect coffee! His father, his sister, his whole race was shunned for this! And he showed them all after finding a way to use coffee as a magical substance. He almost single-handedly carved a place for his race… The discrimination is still strong, but he did at least something..

No,, it's not enough. It never will be. He knows it.

He absent-mindedly fiddled with the torn end of his sleeve. "I suppose I will have to help with this issue,,"

Swatch perked up at that. "If it's not too much to ask, Mr. Espresso."

___________

"Where are you from."

"Pfiba phitty.."

"What are you."

"A phalefmam."

"..." Almond sighed. After some persuasion, Esp- Spamton finally caved in and started eating the sandwich. Only problem, Spamton apparently doesn't know table manners and spoke with his mouth full. This kind of reminded him of his daughter, Walnut Cookie. A small smile formed on his face at the thought of her. She was currently in Latte's care in Parfaedia. He can't wait to get back to her…

He snapped out of it and looked back at the,, Salesman.. Who was currently inhabiting his girlfriend's brother's body. Said Salesman was looking at him with something akin to gratefulness. His face was still hard to figure out.

"So, Spamton, what flavor are you?"

The other tilted his head, before a light bulb metaphorically appeared above his head. "I'm not a cookie! I'm a,,," His grimace of a Salesman smile fell and Almond flinched when his glasses suddenly had audible static in them, like a TV.

"i҈ w҈a҈s҈ n҈e҈v҈e҈r҈ m҈e҈a҈n҈t҈ t҈o҈ e҈x҈i҈s҈t҈"

The detective felt uncomfortable. Actually, uncomfortable was an understatement…

It was neither the slight static to Espresso's voice from Spamton's influence, nor was it the sudden change in his glasses from which even louder static came from…

It was the touchy topic Spamton brought up. Almond knew too well. He had too many cases with this background. Not many cookies knew the harsh truth, however. Those, who knew of the truth, have been the cause of said cases though.

"Spamton, no cookie here was meant to exist the way we do." Almond's voice was soft and wavered. It was rare for him to show this kind of sensitivity, but he knew that this was the right way to address this situation.

The static stopped, and the color came back on the lenses. Spamton looked up again. His face was blank, but he had relief written all over. It was as if Almond had just relieved Spamton of a heavy burden he used to carry.

He did, but he'll never know.

_________

Espresso sat on a bed. Swatch offered to pay for a hotel room until they found a place for him. Espresso felt mildly uncomfortable accepting the room though. He hated taking favors. He knows he'll have to pay them back one day. Swatch said it was only natural to offer help, since he was gonna work there, and because Spamton was homeless. Right, Espresso knows the hardships of homelessness too well. The hunger, the cold, the avoidance of other cookies,,

The isolation…

Espresso shook his head. No, he shouldn't think about it. Instead, he decided to take a shower. Upon entering the bath, he hesitated to take the jacket and prosthetics off. It felt wrong in so many ways… But he did it anyway.

It was way worse than he thought. Spamton's body was scarred from top to bottom. He was surprised that the scars on his face were as mininal as they were, aside from the missing lower jaw and nose. He was sitting on a stool under the shower, since he was also lacking legs. Poor guy… He was carefully peeling off the wooden coverings on his hands and arms. Some muscle was clearly exposed. Didn't Swatch mention something about acid? Damn..

Though, the scarring reminded him a little of himself.

He looked down as the water cleaned the damaged man's hair. The water was brown at the start, but got clearer after some careful scrubbing.

After properly cleaning both the body he was in and the prosthetics, he felt much better. Must've been ages since the guy last showered… When was the last time he took a shower himself? Probably since a week before the experiment. So,, four weeks ago. He really let himself go huh,,

When he was in bed, he took the prosthetics off but left the covers on. The body parts were too sensitive without the coverings and he struggled a lot when cleaning them. Before he switched the lights off however, he took a look at the glasses he wore. They were simply round and normal glasses, similar to his own. They had some scratches, but otherwise seem to be the only well kept thing this guy owned, aside from the prosthetics.

He will have to work a lot in the near future. And hopefully, it won't be in vain.

The mage switched the lights off, and the last thing he thought about before going to sleep was Madeleine's dejected face after he told him to fuck off.

__________

Spamton was following the Almond flavored cookie along, until they arrived at the place Spamton came from. It was a relatively big place.

"This is Espresso's house. He uses it as a laboratory too, according to what Latte told me. So, don't touch anything, or Espresso will have a fit. It's late, so you should sleep. Goodnight, Spamton." With that, Almond Cookie left the way they came from.

Spamton stood in front of the door. He hesitantly pushed it open. The mess and overwhelming smell of coffee were still present, but Spamton didn't mind. He looked around curiously, not listening to Almond's advice, and touching everything that caught his attention. He headed upstairs after his curiosity was satisfied. Upstairs was a bedroom, a bathroom, and a study room.

The Salesman immediately entered the bathroom. Despite being a cookie, this body felt even grimier than his own, and he lived in a garbage can. Without shame nor hesitance did he undress himself. He halted though, when he spotted a large clutter of straight scars on his wrists and legs. He didn't have just those, but also circular burn scars, and even two star shaped scars on his side and abdomen.

Far away, he could hear a phone ringing and four people complaining. Static filled his peripheral vision. His fingers felt cold. Everything was blurring, and his heart felt like it was slowing down. Spamton started taking heavier breaths. It felt like breathing was for naught though. He sank to the floor as the phone ringing and the garbage noises became louder. His face felt hot and everything became heavy.

Was he gonna die? In an unknown world and body nonetheless?

Spamton was laying flat on the floor until he calmed down. His mind was hazy, and after all the sweating, he really needed a shower now. Before he got up though, he looked at the cookie's hands and lower arms again by raising them up. Old, faded, circular scars, and the array of cuts varying from old to fresh.

This sight hit home for Spamton. He used to harm himself as a coping mechanism before and during his Big Shot days. After he was dunked in the acid, he stopped. His body was too damaged to take any more.

He finally stood up and looked at the mirror. It was the first time seeing the face of the body he was in. Spamton removed the hair tie holding his messy brown hair together. It bounced to the sides, creating a distinct hair shape. Curiously, he removed the glasses. It wasn't his Deal Makers, but they had the same yellow and pink colors. He looked back at the mirror, and gently lifted the bang covering his left eye.

Another one. It was a big scar. It looked like this scar was created by boiling water. It was definitely unpleasant to look at, so he dropped the hair. Guy was lucky he didn't lose vision in this eye.

He finally started showering. It was the best feeling. All the dirt and grime was practically melting off of him. He truly missed a good, hot shower. It was hard to find a spot in Cyber City to properly shower or bathe in. He always washed himself in public fountains at night to avoid getting arrested for public indecency. It was always short, cold, and unpleasant occasions.

This made him think. Why didn't this guy shower for so long despite having access to one? What a waste.

After spending a little too long under the shower, he finally went out and dried himself. Hurriedly, he made his way to the guy's bedroom. He halted at the door though.

It was VERY dusty. The way to the cabinet had visible footprints. Well, cookie footprints. The bed was made, yet completely untouched. Spamton finally understood something. This guy must be a serious workaholic. The trenchant smell of coffee and the wave of exhaustion and hunger were already evidence, but he ignored it. Well, now he can't. This guy was living unhealthier than Spamton, despite having the resources to easily change this. With a sigh, he shook his head.

This kinda reminded him of the Pink Addison. Pink would also overwork himself and drink stupid amounts of black tea to keep himself awake. The others would force him to sleep.

Espresso Cookie must be a loner, then.

Like himself.

Hah, what a coincidence.

Spamton made his way to the cabinet and fished out what he assumed were pajamas. After putting them on with little struggle, he grabbed one end of the blanket and heaved it into the air, making all the dust fly off. He repeated it a few times until the blanket was as dust free as possible. He shook the pillows as well. After he was done, he finally plopped down onto the now clean bed and fell asleep in an instant after turning the lights off.

Chapter Text

Vampire Cookie was stumbling his way through the lantern lit streets. He had a few more glasses than normal today at Sparkling Cookie's bar. He hummed an unrecognizable tune to himself as he grabbed onto a lantern for support. He could just fly home, but he feared he'd fall and crumble. He definitely preferred walking when he was as drunk as he was. He might be a drunkard, but at least he was a responsible drunkard.

Some tumbling and stumbling later, he arrived at a house. He was too drunk to notice that it wasn't his. He entered and immediately knew that this probably wasn't the right place.

Whatever. Everyone's already used to his antics anyway, so it won't be that bad, right?

With some more stumbling he walked upstairs. On the last step, he tripped and fell flat on his face. At least he didn't fall backwards… With the effort of a drunken man, he managed to get up and open a door.

Vampire involuntarily sobered up upon seeing whose house he entered. A hiccup left him from pure shock and the sudden soberness. Espresso was on a bed. Sleeping. The sight gave Vampire chills. He's never seen or heard Espresso sleep like that. The Cookie was practically always awake.

Sometimes, when Sparkling would kick Vampire out of the bar for having one too many glasses (like today), he'd usually see Espresso Cookie walking around or sitting on a bench in the town center. He would look disheveled and unorganized, not expecting anyone to be awake at this unholy hour. He remembered one night, Espresso was looking down at his shaking hands. Vampire was sober enough to realize that he was crying, so he sat next to Espresso, who flinched and aggressively rubbed his face.

They would talk for hours. He knew how glad the other was to have someone he could vent his failures to. He knew this from his sister. Espresso essentially became Vampire's friend, and they'd talk almost every night. Vampire has issues remembering faces, but his? After seeing him so many times, he has become one of the few faces he can recognize.

So seeing Espresso lying motionlessly on the bed gave him a small heart attack. He genuinely thought he was dead for a good minute. He rubbed his eyes a little to ease the wave of soberness that was still washing through his system. He only noticed he wasn't dead because of the steadily rising and falling of his chest. He just remembered that he hasn't seen Espresso for three weeks, so suddenly seeing him like that added to the shock.

He went closer to Espresso's sleeping form. A voice in the back of his head told him to bite him. Suck his jam until nothing's left. He gulped. Fuck.. Not again. He could feel his teeth get longer and his hearing improve. The room was brighter too. He carefully put the blanket which probably slipped off of him back on top of the sleeping cookie and immediately transformed into his bat form to flee out the window.

That's why he was drunk all the time. He was nothing but a blood-thirsty monster when sober.

________

Espresso awoke with a grunt. After stretching and attaching all the prosthetics, he finally got out of bed. Pain immediately shot through his system, but he is slowly getting used to this. He grabbed his glasses and a hotel cup which was standing on a cabinet next to a water boiler and some tea bags. With that, he went out. On his way to the Café, he summoned some coffee into his cup and enjoyed it on his way there.

He was on his third cup, attracting a small crowd that followed him into the Café as he entered. He finally looks at said crowd.

"[What in Sam Hill!], why are you following me?"

The crowd shuffled a little. One spoke up. "D-Do you work here?"

"Yes, why?"

"W-would you make us coffee like that if we ordered?"

Oh, this must be why. "Yes."

The crowd muttered before properly entering and sitting at some tables. Some Swatchlings immediately came out to take orders. Espresso walked behind the counter and met Swatch in the kitchen.

"Good morning, Mr. Espresso."

"Good morning, [Big Bird]."

"Have you rested well?"

"I've slept the longest I have in [It's been a LOOOONG time!]" Espresso scowled a little from the constant radio advertisement-like interruptions in his speech.

Swatch chuckled a little. "Well, I have bought some of the things you wrote down yesterday. At least those I could acquire in regular stores. The other things will get delivered in a week or so. I hope you do not mind, Mr. Espresso."

"No, it's fine. I am grateful enough that you have [[SPEND MONEY!]] on the things I've asked for in the [First to call!] place." Espresso gave a small, genuine smile.

Swatch waved him off. "No, please, it is my pleasure."

After an hour of people picking up coffee to go's for work and co, Espresso finally had the chance to look at the things Swatch bought. It was high quality barista equipment, top notch beans, and some good looking cups and plates. The beans are the thing that interest him the most however. They were darker than usual beans and had a notably more bitter smell to them.

"How curious…" He can't wait to get started.

_______

Vampire cookie was back at his and his sister's place. He flew straight to his room and pulled out a bottle of wine from his dresser. He chugged half of it when he heard footsteps approaching.

"Vampire? Are you back already? I didn't hear you come in! May I enter?" Alchemist was already turning the door handle and opening the door when Vampire slammed the door back shut. He was shivering.

"Don't,,,"

"... Are you sober?.."

"..."

"I see.."

He heard sliding and knew she was sitting on the other side of the door. He took another swig from his wine and slid down on the door as well. He could feel her warmth through the wood.

"...What happened? You're not usually sober.."

"I thought Espresso died."

"..What?"

"He was asleep though."

"Wait- Wait. THE Espresso!? Asleep!?"

"Yea,, I really had a shock when I accidentally went to his place and saw him in bed.."

"That's truly rare.. I heard he was working on something.. And you know how he is. He-"

"He won't stop till he finishes. I know. He would usually take quick power naps for ten minutes before he gets back up and continues his stuff."

"Huh, I didn't know he took naps at all. How did you know?"

"He once fell asleep on me while we talked about different brands of coffee liquor and how it is best served hot. He didn't know it could be consumed cold heh..He woke up ten minutes later and apologized like he just broke an expensive vase or sumn."

"You,, talk with him? When?? He's barely reachable! And you of all people??"

"What, ya jealous?"

"I-"

Vampire snorted at that. He didn't know that Espresso was apparently such a distant character. It's probably just to keep up a certain image. He gets it. Vampire has his own image to maintain. He has to be the drunk, lazy, friendly Vampire that doesn't suck blood. With a sigh, he took the last sip of the bottle and stood up. He took a deep breath, feeling his fangs, ears, and claws retract to their usual length, as well as his senses returning to average. He grabbed another bottle from his closet and finally opened the door, making Alchemist Cookie fall backwards. He looked down at her with his usual goofy smile and hazy eyes.

_____

Espresso grabbed a handful of beans and grinds them using his magic. He found out some time ago that the spell he uses for grinding beans is also a very good attack against enemies. He remembered spending days trying to expand the magic circle to affect and essentially grind a whole area. He remembered shredding trees and rocks. And one day, in an expedition, they encountered cake hounds.

He literally shredded them to pieces. The mess went everywhere and the loud, pained, whimpering of the cake hounds getting torn to shreds scarred pretty much everyone who heard it. They all felt sickened at the sight of cake pieces and jam all around and on them, to an extent where they had to stop the expedition and go back.

After that, Espresso berated himself and dug some new scars. He would never get the images of gore out of his head. He then proceeded to not sleep nor eat for a week until he figured out how to make the spell less lethal.

He still uses his original grinding spell though to grind what he intended to grind in the first place. Coffee beans.

He put the ground beans into the spoon looking part and attached said part to a larger machine that actually looked like a coffee machine. With some adjustments, he pressed start. The whole room started to smell like coffee. As the flow came to a halt, Espresso took the small cup of espresso and carefully took a sip. With a hum, he wrote the archived results down.

He was already fully in. The moment he opened the bag of beans, his thoughts were already swarming and thinking of ways to experiment.

Swatch came in and saw the apparent mage write something down on a levitating notebook. Scratch the 'apparent'. Espresso truly was a,, Coffee magician. Espresso himself started levitating, his aura was as black as coffee. Again, he noted something down. Swatch wanted to interrupt him because they received another three orders of coffee, but apparently this wasn't necessary. Espresso levitated the notes Swatch was holding to him and already made three cups fly towards Swatch. All the cups were slowly filling with coffee from an array in the bottom.

They chuckled. Espresso is quicker than he thought. As he grabbed a tray to balance the three now full cups to the table, he noticed how brown the other's hair looked through this mist like aura. It suited him. Maybe they'll get some hair dye for him later.

Espresso was quite pleased at Spamton's body's magical potential. It wasn't as refined as his, but he can tell that they were equal in power. He was levitating, fueled by the magic of the coffee from here. This coffee's magical attribute was a strong booster magic. He could levitate three times as much as he could with the coffee he usually used. Booster attribute coffee beans were rare back home, so he didn't have a whole lot about them. The beans he usually used had a higher combat attribute, dealing more, and a wider range, of damage than anything else.

He could use those to create a healing spell…

He could be more useful on the field with beans like these… He could do so much more…

With a sigh, he grabbed another cup of coffee, but before he could fill it up, he felt the pressure of a hand on his shoulder.

"Mr. Espresso, I think you have had enough coffee for today."

He wanted to protest, but he couldn't find it in him for some reason. Instead, he gave a small nod and set the cup back down.