Chapter Text
Clarke had just finished her shift in the ER. It was a long day, or at least that's what it felt like. In truth, it was actually one of the rare eight-hour rotations, which was short in terms of what she was used to. It didn't really matter, though. Over the last few weeks, she'd been feeling more tired at the end of the day, no matter how long her shift was. She'd even started using the on-call rooms more frequently. Whatever the case, she was just glad her shift was over now and she could enjoy her evening. Scratch that. It was Friday, so she could enjoy her whole weekend. It was one of the two weekends a month that her shifts matched up as an actual weekend, so she and Bellamy would have all the time in the world to be together. Those were always her favorites. She missed him when their time off together didn't align, and having the weekend with him felt perfect right now.
The one way Clarke's hours did tend to work out nicely was that her mother often shared some of her ridiculous shifts, so she rarely felt alone. Or even if Abby didn't share her exact shifts, her mother was at least a good source of comfort she could rely on and complain to when the hours were getting long and she was missing the people in her life. Her mother always understood what that was like.
This just so happened to be one of the days where their schedules aligned perfectly. She and her mother had a long-standing tradition of going out to dinner together when their Friday shifts ended simultaneously. They started doing that ever since Clarke got a job in the same ER that her mother was an attending at. It was a nice welcoming gesture and she appreciated getting to spend more time with her mother, especially since they missed out on so much time together while she was away for school. She always looked forward to their dinners now, and it felt like it would be the perfect way to start the weekend.
Clarke went to her locker in the staff room to put her coat and supplies away. She put her jacket on and grabbed her bag before she looked around the room for her mother. She was still nowhere to be seen. That wasn't all too uncommon. Last-minute briefings on patients for switch-over or following up with a particularly troubling case. It happened, but again, this is where the common ground of their careers and mutual understanding came in handy. Clarke plopped down on the couch and figured she'd wait in peace. The lighting was dim. She rested her head on the back of the sofa. Maybe she could even take a quick power nap while she waited. Or so she thought.
"Hi, Clarke," she heard from a bright and cheery voice, and she immediately recognized it as her friend, Jackson. He was one of her mother's mentees from a long time ago, and she knew him right from when she entered med school, herself. She even introduced him to one of her and Bellamy's good friends, Nate, and managed to play matchmaker rather successfully, she might add. They're all good friends now, and Jackson often frequents their larger group outings.
"Hey, Jackson!" Clarke said, trying to match his cheery voice, though she was sure there was a good chance her tiredness seeped through. "Nightshift on a Friday, huh? Bummer."
Jackson laughed as he put his stuff away. "Ah, it's not so bad. Nate usually works Friday nights too, otherwise, I might be complaining."
"I know that feeling."
Jackson continued to get ready. He put on his lab coat, badge and stethoscope. He grabbed his comfortable shoes and brought them over to the couch to tie them up more easily from a seated position. "So, you and Bellamy have any Labor Day plans?"
"Labor day?! Already?" Clarke asked, and the shock was evident in her voice. Shock at the fact it was September already. But it couldn't be-
"Ha. Yeah, I know," Jackson continued, not picking up on Clarke's suddenly awkward behavior. "Things have been so hectic around here with the remodeling and the influx of patients with the heatwave. It really has felt like it's been hard to keep track of time, hasn't it?"
The summer really had been a lot of chaos and running around. So much so that she hadn't even noticed something missing, apparently. A very important something, she thought, as she did some mental calculations in her head, or tried to, at least, before she realized Jackson was staring at her.
"Heh. Yeah, the summer sure was crazy," she said a little half-heartedly, shaking her head, trying to play it cool and like nothing was wrong. "But no, no big plans for the weekend. I've been craving a bit of a staycation. Probably just order some pizza and see what's on Netflix or something."
"That sounds pretty nice to me," Jackson said as he finished lacing his last shoe.
"What about you guys?"
"I managed to get Monday off, so Nate and I are going camping," he said as he stood up, ready for his shift now.
"Nice! I want to see pictures when you get back."
Jackson nodded with a smile. "Sure thing. Have a good weekend, Clarke."
"You too," she said, forcing a smile to look inconspicuous outwardly while alarm bells were ringing internally.
As soon as the door shut behind Jackson, she rushed to pull out her phone from her jacket pocket. She brought up the calendar and looked closely over the dates. She usually put a little red dot on the calendar to mark the first day of her period. She looked closely at August - nothing there. July - nothing there. "JUNE!" she practically yelped out in disbelief when she saw how far back she had to scroll to find the last red dot on the calendar. It was close to the end of June, but still. That was not a short amount of time ago. She had to think for a minute to make sure she hadn't just forgotten to add it to her calendar or anything, but as hard as she thought back, she legitimately couldn't remember having a period over the entirety of summer. She was a freaking doctor! How did that slip by her? All she could do was chalk it up to how busy things were recently. There were times she barely felt the days passing, she was so busy. That wasn't always a bad thing. She liked her work, and it was good for the time to pass quickly, but how could she have gotten so wrapped up that she missed this?
She almost felt like crying at the thought of it all. Happy crying, but crying nonetheless. But then she shook her head and figured it was ridiculous to get this wrapped up in the implication of a missed period without confirming. It had been a particularly stressful couple of months, and this wouldn't be the first time she would have missed a period due to that.
Clarke looked around the room. Her mother was still nowhere to be seen, and she was just stuck here waiting. She worked in a hospital. One where pregnancy tests were readily available. Maybe she would have time to take one before her mom got here. Now that this realization was planted in her head, she didn't want to leave this looming question unanswered. She'd be lost in thought for the rest of the night, and she knew that wouldn't get past her mom. Either way, now she was resolved to not leave this hospital until she had an answer.
She put her bag back into her locker and stalked off to the nearest supply room. She opened the door quietly. The last thing she expected was to be greeted by her mother holding a tablet. She was using it as a checklist with a box full of supplies in front of her.
"Mom? What are you doing here?"
Abby smiled up at her daughter somewhat distractedly as she read the labels and put some things away. "Oh, I'll be right out. A big accident came in a while ago that we just finished up with. I needed these supplies to be returned after we finished dealing with the patients, but the orderlies had their hands full cleaning up after everything. I figured I'd just do it myself since it shouldn't take too long, and I was at the end of my shift anyway."
"Oh, okay," Clarke said. She stood there awkwardly as her mother continued to work. Abby was clearly focused on going down the list she was holding, but now Clarke didn't know how to handle this. She thought it would probably look rather obvious if she went straight for the HCG test strips. That didn't stop her from eying the room over to look for them.
"Did you need something?" Abby finally asked, glancing at Clarke between checking off her list.
"Oh, uh…" she said as she looked around the room, trying to think of some excuse. The silence seemed to get Abby's attention, and she watched her daughter with concern. Clarke was usually someone who had keen focus and awareness. Looking like a chicken with its head cut off was out of character for her. No wonder her mother had noticed something off. Clarke gently bit the corner of her lip and twiddled her fingers with nervous energy.
"Clarke?" Abby said again. The concern wasn't only evident in her eyes anymore, but in her voice as well. She put down the tablet she was using and was about to take a step toward her daughter in search of finding out what was wrong.
"I'm late," Clarke finally blurted out. There was no point hiding it. No matter what happened, whether the test was positive, negative, or she didn't get to do it at all, she figured there was no way she wasn't going to be out of sorts this evening. And that meant there was no way her mother wasn't going to notice something was wrong one way or the other. So better to just be out with it then, as abrupt and unexpected the admission was.
Abby's eyes went wide and she gasped. She put her hand over her mouth in shock. Clarke could see tears beginning to form in the corner of her eyes.
"Mom. Don't do that!" she said, trying to quell her own emotions now. "I still don't know anything for sure yet. I only just realized what the date was and came in here for a test."
Abby wiped at the unshed tears and nodded while she took in a shaky breath. She turned to one of the drawers and took out one of the test strip packets. "So, how late are you then?" she asked before handing it back to her along with a clear plastic cup.
"I've already missed two periods."
"Oh, Clarke," Abby said as her voice quivered, unable to stop the tears this time. Clarke should have known better. A few days late could have been normal. One missed period could have been a stress write-off. She should have known that two missed periods may as well have been a resounding positive in the eyes of her mother. It practically was to her, too, but she still wanted hard evidence.
Clarke looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears beginning to form at her mother's response. She took in a deep breath before she could look her in the eye again. "I know, all right. But can I just take the test first? I want to be sure before we start getting all worked up for nothing."
Abby nodded diligently, unable to speak.
"Besides, I don't really want both of us to walk out of here with puffy, red eyes, attracting attention."
"Of course," Abby managed to get out as she wiped away the tears again.
"How about you finish up here. That'll give you a chance to calm down. I'll go to the employee bathroom, get a sample, and you can meet me there after you're done. I promise I'll wait for you before I actually do the test." It sounded so clinical, but they were doctors, after all.
"Okay. I only have a few more things on the list. I won't be long."
Clarke nodded and gave a tight smile, not wanting to get over emotional or excited just yet. Especially not when this was so public right now. She shoved the test and the cup into her jacket pocket and walked out the door, leaving her mother alone in the supply room. She hastily made her way back to the locker room and towards the bathroom at the back. As soon as she got a sample and left it on the counter, she heard a knock at the door.
"Who's there?" Clarke wanted to make sure it was indeed her mother and not someone in search of the bathroom.
"It's me. No one else is here," she heard her mother say quietly on the other side.
Clarke opened the door to let her in quickly before locking it behind her again. They both walked over to the counter where the sample was resting on the counter. Clarke took out the packet with the HCG test strip in it.
"Okay. Are you ready for this?" Clarke asked. There was a very slight, hardly noticeable tremble in her hand.
"Am I ready for this?" Abby asked back. As much as she was on the verge of tears earlier, it sounded like she could almost laugh at the question being directed toward her.
"I don't know," Clarke said, a little more bewildered than she realized. "I'm kind of panicking here."
"Panicking?" Abby asked with concern as she walked over and put her arm around her daughter comfortingly. "Is this not good news, then? I mean, if it is positive."
"No, no! It would be," Clarke clarified quickly. "I'm just still in shock. I mean, it's been ten weeks. How could I not notice?"
"It happens more often than you'd think. How many patients have you come across who didn't know? I see it at least once a week."
Clarke gave a half-hearted smile. "Yeah, well, how many of them are doctors?"
"Doctors are still humans, Clarke. We're fallible like anyone else. I think that's especially so when it relates to our own health."
She didn't seem as convinced as her mother would have liked her to be. She still felt disappointed in herself, and Abby picked up on that.
"Besides, I know you. You're healthy. You take your vitamins. You don't smoke. You barely drink. Even if this test comes back positive and ten weeks have passed, you didn't do any harm if that's what you're worried about. Okay?"
Clarke sniffled slightly, nodding her head, appreciative of the comforting words. As much as she barely had a second to think about all of this, that was already a concern lingering in the back of her mind, and hearing that from her mother, who just so happened to be a distinguished doctor, really did help.
"So. Now, I think the real question is: are you ready?" Abby asked.
Clarke nodded, but her hands were still trembling a little more obviously than before, and to do this test, the strip needed to stay at a specific height, and she didn't want to screw it up. "Can you do it?" she asked, handing the test packet to her mother.
Abby gave her a soft smile before opening the packet and dipping the strip into the sample. It's something both of them had done thousands of times for their patients, so the action was swift and almost done out of muscle memory. She rested the strip on a paper towel on the counter to lie flat while they waited for the results. Clarke almost envied the women that got the tests from the drug store where you couldn't see the liquid creep up the strip. They just waited for the allotted minutes and looked at the results window afterwards. These strips didn't have that luxury. They were open, and you could see the liquid run along the strip in real-time as it approached the test line. She and her mother watched it intently. The test line immediately turned a dark shade of pink. Clarke heard a gasp come from beside her and felt her mother's eyes on her, but she maintained her vision on the test strip waiting for the control line, too. There's always a chance they picked out a defective test, and the control line was necessary for a confirmed positive. But that one immediately turned a dark shade of pink too.
That was it. This was real, then. There was no more denying it. Clarke put her hand over her mouth, and the tears flowed freely. She hadn't expected to react this way. She wasn't the most stoic of people, but she wasn't usually the overly emotional type either. She figured it was the hormones. The shock. The complete and utter unexpectedness of it all.
She almost forgot her mother was there entirely until she was swept up in a hug. Abby's hand cradled her daughter's head against her shoulder, and Clarke almost felt like a little girl again. She hadn't ever imagined this moment happening in this way with her mother by her side instead of Bellamy. It may not have been how she would have preferred it, but a part of her was actually grateful to be sharing this experience with her now, as much as she was also sad that Bellamy wasn't here for it. Then again, she'd get to relive this moment with him soon enough. She could hardly wait, as much as the thought of it already made her stomach swirl with nerves. She held onto her mother and let herself cry. She appreciated the comforting lull of shushing in her ears and the warm embrace. She stayed that way until she felt like it was all out. Never in a million years would she have expected this to be how her shift would end today.
When the crying quieted down, Abby pulled out of the hug and wiped the tears from her daughter's face. "Are you okay?" she asked tentatively.
That's when Clarke gave a real and genuine smile. This was a huge shock, yes, but a happy one. "Yes, I'm okay. I can hardly believe it, but that's all. I'm just really surprised."
"So, this wasn't planned then, I gather?"
"Not exactly," Clarke admitted. "We've been discussing it a lot, though, actually. We were planning to start trying over winter, after the renovations were done, and things were supposed to calm down a bit more for me."
Abby couldn't help but give her a soft smile at the thought of it.
"So, it was on the agenda… but it just happened a little earlier than expected, I guess," Clarke explained.
"Sometimes the best things in life happen a little unexpectedly," Abby said with a smile that brought one out in Clarke, too. "But it's good it was something you were planning already and that you and Bellamy are on the same page about it."
Clarke nodded. "He's going to be really happy."
Abby's grin got even wider at that notion. "I see the way he treats you and how deeply he cares. He's going to be a wonderful father." Abby brushed the hair out of Clarke's face and tucked it behind her ears. "And you're going to be a wonderful mother."
Clarke had to wipe away at another tear starting to streak down her face at her mother's words. "Don't start with that now. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take."
Abby laughed slightly under her breath before she perked up. She dumped the urine down the drain and threw away the test strip before taking Clarke's hand and pulling her out of the room. She put her finger up in a shushing motion and said, "come with me."
"What? Why? Where are we going?"
Abby reemphasized the shushing motion as she let go of Clarke's hand to look less suspicious. She continued to lead her to one of the back rooms that rarely got used unless there was patient overflow. She shut the door behind them and drew the blinds.
"What are we doing here?" Clarke asked, still trying to keep her voice low.
Abby pointed to the back corner towards an ultrasound machine sitting there. "You said you already missed two periods. We should be able to see it already then. I mean, that is, if you want to," Abby amended quickly, previously not even thinking of the possibility that she may not have wanted to.
Clarke had barely wrapped her head around the fact that she was pregnant at all, let alone thinking about the possibility of seeing it already. This option had never crossed her mind, but her answer was clear. "I want to see it."
"Go ahead and lie down on the exam table then," Abby said as she booted up the ultrasound machine.
Clarke followed her direction, pulled up her shirt, and pulled down her pants slightly, knowing exactly where her mother would have to examine her. Abby tucked a strip of paper under Clarke's pants to avoid any jelly from soiling her clothing before she squirted said jelly on Clarke's lower abdomen.
Abby prodded slightly with the probe, trying to find the right spot. Clarke was almost concerned about how long it was taking. Abby must have sensed as much. "You just emptied your bladder, so it might just be a bit harder to find, but don't worry," she said as she kept looking. She pushed down a bit harder. Clarke saw a bright smile form on her mother's face, and she let out a breath of relief she didn't even know she was holding. Abby made a few more keystrokes on the machine. Clarke already knew that she was measuring it to check dates. It was a big part of making sure everything was growing appropriately. "There it is," Abby finally said, pointing to the screen, not that she needed to. She knew very well that Clarke could read an ultrasound all on her own, but she couldn't help pointing it out all the same. That tiny little body on the screen was her grandchild, after all. Of course she was going to be excited. It was small but already had distinct features. The head, arms and legs were clearly visible and taking on a recognizable shape.
"Oh my god," Clarke gasped as she put her hand up to cover her mouth and already felt tears beginning to form… again. She didn't even know why she reacted this way. What she saw on the screen was exactly what you would expect for her stage. However, despite being so far along already, her mind was still expecting something so much smaller and unassuming since this news was still so fresh and new to her. The tears prickled at her eyes again. "Ugh, I can't keep doing this," she said as she wiped the tears away, steeling herself away from the emotions this time.
"It's perfectly normal to be emotional right now," Abby clarified before she looked back at the screen. "Everything's measuring just fine, and it lines up with 10 weeks. That would put your due date somewhere close to the end of March. You haven't had any symptoms yet?" Abby asked, sounding curious.
Clarke had to think back on it for a moment. There hadn't been anything that stood out to her before, but then, "You know, I have actually been a bit queasy recently, but nothing too intense. I kept blaming it on the heat, drank a ton of water, and usually felt better. I have been a bit more tired than usual, too, I guess, but again, I just blamed it on the heat."
"Yeah, the heat can definitely be responsible for that, so I don't blame your deductions, but I think it's a safe bet that it probably wasn't the heat, after all. At least not entirely. My nausea with you presented the same way, not intense, but more of a lingering extended period. I only ever had a couple of bad days. You're nearing the end of your first trimester already, so you probably won't have to deal with that too much longer, but you're likely not out of the woods yet either. Don't be surprised if you still end up having a couple of bad days."
"It's worth it, though, right?" Clarke asked jokingly.
Abby paused from working on the ultrasound machine and gave her daughter a sincere look. "It might just be the best thing I've ever done," she said. Even though her daughter was laughing, Abby was still in serious mode. "Not that I'm trying to take credit for you. You turned into an amazing woman largely from your own convictions and determination. But I can't imagine my life without you in it. So was it worth it?" she asked, keeping her serious tone. "absolutely."
"Mom," Clarke said, a little watery as she wiped at her eyes again. "Not that I don't appreciate what you're saying. Because I do. More than I can say. But can we please stop with this stuff now?" she said with a light laugh. "I really don't want to leave the hospital bleary-eyed, catching Jackson's attention, who could end up alerting all of my friends if he thinks something is wrong."
Abby clasped Clarke's shoulder affectionately. "Okay. I just had to get that out of my system, but I can be done with that now," she said. She sucked in a shuddering breath, wiping away the last of her tears. She went back to work on the ultrasound. "I'll finish up with this, but you'll need to schedule an appointment with your OB/GYN for the more official reports. At least for now, I hope getting a chance to see it for yourself has been reassuring."
"It has. Thank you, mom," she said as she clasped her mother's hand briefly. Clarke stared at the screen for another moment, almost feeling as though she could get lost in it. It was still so small, but there it was. Visible proof that something was growing there. Something that was a little piece of her and the man she loved. And somehow, she hadn't even had a clue this whole time.
Abby hit a few more buttons on the machine, and Clarke heard the sound of the printer running. She appreciated her mother's forethought, knowing she'd very much like to keep that as a souvenir. As the machine finished printing, her mom handed her a towel to clean up the jelly with.
"So, how do you feel?" she asked as Clarke sat up. The happiness was evident on her mother's face, and she couldn't help but let it affect her. She had her own beaming grin at the thought of everything.
"I think I'm still in shock more than anything. But… I'm happy. Really happy."
"Honestly, it can sometimes be difficult to wrap your head around news like this even when it's entirely planned, so I don't blame you. But I'm glad you're happy. And, just in case it wasn't clear, I'm happy, too. I hope it doesn't throw too much of a wrench in your plans now that this has happened earlier than expected," Abby said. This was the kind of thing she did. Gently prod to make sure her daughter was processing everything fully. Clarke could almost laugh at the notion. Even though she was a fully functioning adult now, she figured it was hard to ever entirely give up the idea that someone was your child. She supposed that would be a lesson she would be learning first-hand soon enough.
"No, I don't think it'll change much. It was mostly to allow me to be less stressed."
"Well, I can probably help with that if you'd like. I have pull when it comes to hiring people if you want to lower your hours. We have part-time slots available, and we can hire a full-time replacement if that's something you'd want to consider. If money's an issue, you know Marcus and I are always there to help. We have more of it than we know what to do with."
"I know. I appreciate that you'd do all that for me. For us, really. I might take you up on the offer at some point, but maybe let's just see how it goes for now?" Clarke had to admit, she did like the idea of that. It's what her own mother did when she was young, and she appreciated the balance that could provide. Clarke had a strong role model to look up to, but also had her mom around. That's always how she envisioned doing it herself, trying to have the best of both worlds, but she didn't think she was quite there yet.
"Of course. I'm just letting you know you have options, and you don't have to be stuck in the stressful thick of it if you don't want to be. All you have to do is ask, and we can figure something out."
Clarke nodded with a thankful smile. "Oh, and speaking of Marcus, you can't tell him," Clarke said.
Abby gave her a slightly concerned look. "Of course, I won't tell him, but you know he can read me like a book, right?" she warned.
Clarke let out a sigh. She knew that was true. Marcus was pretty good at reading people and situations. "I don't mind him knowing. I just want to make sure Bellamy's been told first and that we can let it sink in for ourselves a bit before we tell anyone else, that's all."
"That's completely fair. And I promise he won't hear it from me. I'll do what I can to try to not let on about anything, but I still think it would be best if you told him sooner than later."
"We will. Maybe we can plan dinner in the next week or two? I just want to have a bit of time with Bellamy first."
"That sounds perfect. Just let me know when and we can make it work. And speaking of dinner, do you still want to go out tonight? Maybe you'd prefer to go straight home to Bellamy? I certainly couldn't blame you."
That's right. In all the excitement, she'd actually forgotten that it was Friday. She had envisioned running home to Bellamy after all of this, but that probably wouldn't be happening just yet. "He's actually watching the game with Lincoln tonight because he knows about our dinner plans. If I called him to come home now, he'd probably panic and think something was wrong."
"Well, it's okay. We can do whatever you want, just let me know. I won't be offended if you'd still rather go home anyway."
Clarke thought for a moment. As much as she still would have preferred to go straight home to Bellamy, she knew he was having a good time. He might have even had a beer, knowing he'd have time for it to wear off before he'd have to drive home. She didn't want to frazzle him and make him worry and get in an accident or anything. Besides, she could eat. "I don't know about you, but I'm pretty famished after all of this."
Abby gave her a warm smile, happy at the notion that their plans hadn't changed. "Me, too. We can go wherever you want. It's on me," she said. And it always was on her because, you know, so much money she didn't know what to do with it all.
"I could go for something fun. How about burgers and milkshakes from the diner across the street?"
"Just like when you were little," Abby declared. "We can get a plate of fries to split. Sounds perfect." She handed Clarke the ultrasound picture she had clasped between her two fingers. "Maybe we can discuss ways to tell Bellamy while we eat."
Clarke took the picture and put it into her jacket pocket for now. She didn't want it to get damaged, but she also didn't want onlookers figuring anything out. She intertwined her arm in her mother's as they walked out the door towards the locker room again. "Sounds perfect," she agreed.
It didn't take them long to get ready. Abby just had to drop off her things in her locker, and Clarke needed to grab her bag again. As they walked out the main ER doors to leave, Clarke recognized two very familiar faces and some of her dearest friends rushing in. Harper was in a wheelchair, clutching her abdomen with labored breathing. Monty was pushing her, looking like a deer in headlights.
"Ah!" Clarke exclaimed rather excitedly. "Oh my god, is it time, guys?!" She knew Harper was getting close to her due date and that it could be happening at any time, but it still took her by surprise to see two of her closest friends running through the ER doors. This kind of thing was customary at their hospital. The ER checked them in before taking them up to Labor and Delivery, so it wasn't entirely unexpected, but for it to happen today of all days, it was just another surprise on top of the pile.
"Think so," Monty said. As much as he looked like he was in complete disarray, he was also positively beaming. "Contractions are consistent and close together now."
The fact that Monty was answering for Harper was another big sign to Clarke. Harper looked like she was struggling to speak, meaning she was probably well into active labor already.
"Well, I'm not going to keep you, but good luck and congratulations. I can't wait to meet him whenever you guys are rested and ready for visitors," she said. Clarke quickly moved in to hug Harper awkwardly, still sitting in the wheelchair. As much as she was clearly in pain, she still responded with a smile. Then Clarke quickly gave Monty a hug as well. "Call me if you guys need anything, okay? I'm so happy for you."
Clarke grabbed onto her mother's arm again as they left for the restaurant. She thought back to Harper quickly and couldn't help but think that would be her in… eight months ?! Less than even. That already sounded so soon. But then again, she did practically skip over the first trimester without knowing. Overall, it was an exciting day, to be sure. Now she just couldn't wait to tell Bellamy.