Chapter Text
“I’m bored,” Kagura blurted to no one in particular, or maybe Sadaharu, who was having his midday nap after a hearty lunch. Besides them, there was no one else home. Gin-chan went out early to hit the pachinko saying Ketsuno-ana forecasted him good fortune, while Shinpachi left to tend to his otaku duties with his fellow otaku losers, probably.
A sappy romantic drama was playing on the television for background noise, but even the high-pitched scream of the damsel-in-distress female lead that she used to have fun talking shit about wasn’t doing it for her. She reached for the remote to change the channel to a comedy show that has gone stale over the years in running—she’s sure they’d go off the slot if they keep this up, speaking from experience. It wasn’t bringing up good memories, so she was about to press the next channel button once again but stilled when she heard the boke shout something that caught her attention.
“April Fools!”
Kagura turned her head to check on the calendar that was still on the March page. Yesterday was March 31st, so today was, without a doubt, April 1st. Guess the two forgot to tear it off. She walked towards it to do the job, and upon looking at the date, the young woman smirked in a contorted way that young women shouldn’t.
The first day of April. The day of lies.
Or that’s what the sadist told him when he pranked him years ago with shaved ice infused with tabasco saying it was strawberry-flavored. He got what he deserved when she made his nose bleed with a punch and shove the remaining ice down his nose. But today, her plans have nothing to do with that bastard. Rather, she’s going to do something grand that will not work with him in the picture. It was about time to do that, anyways.
At last, she had found a way to get out of her boredom.
April weather was the best. The sun was at its gentlest, spring was at its peak, and rain would randomly come and go, so no one gave her weird looks for bringing an umbrella out—and if they did, just like now, it was entirely for different reasons.
Kagura admired herself in front of a shop’s one-way glass, blissfully unaware of the stares from the other side of the window. She wore her old alien-hunter battle outfit from the time she arrived in Edo after two years, posing as Kanna. It was the only set of clothes she owned that allowed her to change sizes as she pleased without worrying about slipping out from her undergarments and such—and the only set that could accommodate her current appearance.
Yes, her brilliant scheme was to pretend to be a little kid claiming to be her daughter. It had been so long since she used this ability, having abstained from practicing qigong for reasons she’d rather not ponder on at the moment. She decided to keep this fact from everyone except those who already knew, just until she sorted herself out and find a good use for it.
Her first attempt was spoiled, though, with Tama snitching her right off the bat before she could fool the two grannies in the snacks bar. And now she was on her way to search for victims in Yoshiwara, the once forbidden place of sins now a dazzling tourist district where most of her friends frequented.
It was the first place she thought of visiting because of two reasons: it was likely that Gin-chan, her main target, was there since she also heard him mentioning a new pachinko place in that area; and two, there were almost zero chances of meeting people that could sabotage her pranks, like Tama, Shinpachi, or the sadist bastard. Plus, it might be fun to play around the place if all else fails.
“Lil girl, ‘ya lost? This ain’t a place for youngins like you to be wanderin' around. Want me to take ‘ya to somewhere safer?”
Kagura lifted her head and umbrella to look at the sleazy bastard that approached her with obviously malicious intent. She could beat him down with just one pinky, but decided it wasn’t worth her time and ignored the man while skipping away.
However, he wasn’t going to let her get away so easily and persisted in following her and even baiting her with candy. Kagura wasn’t a child who could be baited so easily—he had to offer sukonbu if he really wanted her to bite. After a few minutes, the man seemed to run out of patience when he snatched her umbrella by its tip and forcibly grabbed her small wrist. “Hey kid, stop being stubborn and come with me—”
He wasn’t the only one though, as the young Yato was getting ready to send him flying when a familiar voice came right on time.
“Oi, what’re ‘ya doin’ right there with that child?”
Tsukky! She almost cried out, happy to see one of the faces she was searching for. She effortlessly yanked out of the man’s grip and ran towards the lady holding a pipe, who smoothly stepped in front of her to hide her from the scum. It didn’t take long for him to recognize the woman and immediately ran for his life albeit in vain with the Hyakka already out to catch him.
“Tsk. Trash just never runs out, eh?”
The beautiful scarred woman tutted to herself after giving her orders. From below, the blonde looked more mature than usual. Maybe it was the view, or her age-altering ability coming into play in her mind, but for a split second, she saw her mother’s back instead of Tsukuyo’s, holding a longer kiseru, the hem of the slit of her black kimono turning into a white cheongsam, and it felt like she was not only back as a child in appearance but in essence as well.
“Ya alright, lil one? Where’re ‘yer parents?” The image faded as soon as the woman turned around to check on her.
“I'm fine, yes?” Kagura beamed at her innocently, guiltless of her upcoming deception as she watched Tsukuyo making a scrutinizing expression and leaning down to look at her closer.
“Hm? Wait, aren’t ‘ya Kagura? But she couldn’t be this small…”
Kagura mentally snickered behind her innocent wide-eyed façade, “I do look like my Mami, yes?”
The blonde woman blinked.
“My name is Kanna! I’m Mami’s daughter!”
Victorious, Kagura beamed as the pipe dropped from her victim’s lips.
“You’re saying this is Kagura’s daughter? But she’s too young to have one!” Hinowa, the once perfect picture of elegance and grace, nearly fell off her wheelchair as soon as Tsukuyo dropped the false news.
Tsukuyo drew on her pipe before replying, “I couldn’t believe it either, but the resemblance is too uncanny. ‘S almost as if she’s Kagura herself.”
This made the little prankster flinch. The blond kunoichi1 was frighteningly perspective.
“But still, how can that brat have a brat out of nowhere? When she looks like she hasn’t had a single **** stuck in her—GYAAAAAAH!” The crude purple-headed ninja was cut off with a high-pitched shriek after she ironically failed to dodge a two kunai2 that flew straight towards her glasses and poked her eyes. Kagura wasn’t expecting the perverted woman to be here, but it wasn’t surprising either. Ever since the year started, she stopped her stalking habits and opened up an adult BDSM shop in the district.
“Watch what ‘ya say in front of kids.”
“You watch what you do in front of kids, you violent bitch!”
Kagura watched them with blank eyes. She was waiting for the right timing to reveal her joke, but here they are, becoming a joke themselves.
“How old are ‘ya, Kanna-chan? By the way, ‘ya can call me nii-chan!”
Seita’s question caught her by surprise and made her stutter, “Se—Fou—no, Three! I’m three years old, yes?”
She mentally face-palmed at her indecisive answer. She should’ve done the math before anyone could ask. Luckily no one seemed to notice her blunder. Although she was glad the prank worked, she didn’t know what to feel about her friends accepting she has a child so easily. But what did she even expect when they had also so readily held her a funeral when she pretended to be sick back in the day?
“Still, isn’t it strange that we heard nothing about her until now?” Hinowa, the ever so clever one inquired.
“That’s—Uhm, I’ve been living with baldy all this time and got permission to visit here!” She sputtered out a lie she came up out of nowhere.
“I see. So who’s the lowlife—I mean, who’s your father, Kanna-chan?” Though the raven-haired lady remained poise as she asked, the intention behind it was as clear as day.
A light bulb flashed over her head, seeing this as an opportunity to smoothly conclude her joke. I’ll just say ‘You don’t know him. His name is April and he came from the planet Fools’ and then wham—
“DON’T TELL ME IT’S GIN-SAN!”
Kagura gagged. Why that smelly old man again?!
The sadist had said that before to force her to come out of her disguise, and though he wasn’t successful, he still managed to piss her off. Why would anyone suggest she’d have that sort of relationship with a person she sees as a father figure? She loved Gin-chan as just her Gin-chan.
“I thought ‘ya already moved on from him, Sacchan-nee. I’m telling ‘ya on Hattori-nii.” Seita teased.
“I was just saying because they live together, you snotty punk! Besides, that beard-face is no different with his fuglies!” Sacchan snapped back at the kid and continued to run her mouth with endless whining about the said man. It was still a bit strange to Kagura, how the masochistic and obsessive stalker they all knew had changed her heart.
Perhaps it was naïve of her to think that everything would revert to its former place and stay in a perpetual state after the final arc. She thought they’d go back to the Sazae-san3 format, doing things as they always did, and people never changing their quirks. But Final Fantasy or not, things were bound to take a different turn—because people are not living constants. She knew that now, and although it will take some time to get used to, she was willing to embrace it as long as it meant their happiness.
Of course, the ninja couple wasn’t the only observable change over the past months.
“Tsukky! Don’t get the wrong idea, yes? Gin-chan is not my Papi!” She clarified to the woman who was passively smoking in the corner.
Tsukuyo looked surprised for a second, then relaxed with a thoughtful gaze. “I know, Kanna. That deadbeat man may be a lowlife, but he wouldn’t be so low as to lay a hand on Kagura. And even if he did, ‘s impossible ‘coz that sleazy sorry excuse of a man is impotent.”
They all stilled. She definitely heard that from Shinpachi before, but it sure as hell sounds implicative coming from the lover’s mouth.
“…How did you know that, Tsukuyo-nee?”
“You slut! I knew you’ve been doing this and that with Gin-san behind doors!”
“I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!” The scarred blonde chain-smoker turned beet-red when she realized her words. Seita was the one who badgered her the most, so she kicked him out by sending him to buy them snacks.
Neither Gin-chan nor Tsukky said anything about their relationship, but pretty much everyone knew what was going on. Kagura wasn’t so dense either, what with the drunkard frequenting Yoshiwara these days ‘to drink’ when they literally have a snacks bar right below their settlement and at every block in Kabuki-cho for the matter, and then having Tsukky send him home wasted every time if he’d come home at all. If she had something to say about it, it’s that Tsukky could definitely do better than to settle with a good-for-nothing lazy perm-head like him, but then even her own mother was no better. Maybe that's why she had been seeing flashes of her late Mami in her lately, just like earlier. She always thought they were similar, but now that they both share the fate of being stuck with his Papis, she wondered if women of their kind were cursed to be bounded to idiots (Mucchy was also another prime example).
But seriously though, how could both her Papi and Earth Papi be so similar even when it comes to their taste in women? Maybe someday Gin-chan would be bald like him too.
Their teasing accusations against the blushing blonde ceased when a familiar high-pitched voice greeted them from outside. “Tsukuyo-san, Hinowa-san! My, Sacchan-san is here too! Looks like we visited in a good time!”
Everyone turned to the young woman who just arrived, including Kagura, who was wide-eyed in anticipation.
“Ah, Soyo-chan! It’s been a while! What brings you here?” Hinowa greeted back.
Soyo happily answered, “We just decided to drop by after finishing some business near the area.”
A shiver ran through the Yato’s spine at the thought of a new victim in the palm of her hands. Don’t be mistaken; she adored Soyo to the core, but it’s a different thing altogether to want some little harmless revenge on her. She still remembered how she was the cruelest one out of all her friends when they talked about her funeral! Although it was planned by the shitty Chihuahua sadist, all of it was still courtesy of Soyo-chan who trusted him and jumped the gun rather than praying for her own best friend’s recovery!
With small steps, she ambled towards her fellow super sadistic sister, stopping to flash her a disarming smile, “Hello! Are you Soyo-oba-san4?”
After a few blinks of delayed reaction, Soyo squealed, “Oh my! How adorable! She’s just like a mini Kagura-chan!”
Hazel eyes sparkled in adoration in front of her face as another feminine voice chimed in. “Please keep it down, Hime-sama. It wouldn’t do any good if people recognized you here.”
Nobutatsu! She almost called out as soon as she saw her friend’s perpetual deadpan face, excited to see her after a long time.
“Look, Nobume-san! It’s a mini Kagura-chan! Do you think we can take her home?”
Hinowa chuckled, “I’m afraid you can’t, Soyo-chan. That little girl is Kagura-chan’s daughter.”
That was Kagura's cue. “Nice to meetcha. I’m Kanna, yes? Mami told me all about you!”
Soyo almost bent over backward in surprise, “Eh?! It’s not a doll?!”
Her smile widened at what she heard, taking it as a compliment.
The words seemed to be starting to sink into her airhead friend’s brain when her face morphed into horrid shock, “But… you must be kidding, Hinowa-san… How could that be possible…?”
Sacchan answered for her, and Kagura knew it was going to be nasty before it even came out of her lips, “How else? She must’ve got banged up with some male’s privates without anyone knowing.”
You ninja freak! How could you talk about a pure maiden like that?! Kagura fumed but restrained from reacting to maintain her act.
She wasn’t the one who received the most damage though, with her friend practically petrified on her feet.
Did she overdo it? She honestly didn’t expect her best friend to be this shocked. Her overreaction was the complete opposite of her other sadistic sister who didn’t even bat an eye in front of her.
“The princess has stopped functioning.” Nobume pointed out, seemingly unfazed by the revelation.
Hinowa sighed, “I guess no one knew about it. I still can’t believe it either.”
Kagura inwardly snickered at the sight of them completely buying her joke. Just a little further, and she'll be seeing their priceless reaction after revealing it was all a joke.
“Why?” She asked, surprising everyone. “Why is it unbelievable that Mami had me? Is it bad? Am I bad for Mami?”
Her eyes became glassy, and she pulled every bit of high-class acting to make her face as downcast as possible.
“There’s no way you’re bad, Kanna-chan!” Soyo suddenly sprang to life after being in a paralyzed state. “The only bad thing is that other one who defiled Kagura-chan!”
Kagura smiled as she watched her best friend seethe in anger, touched to see her genuinely getting mad for her. Maybe it was time to tell her the truth now… She already had enough fun with the prank.
She was ready to open her mouth to reveal the prank when her red-eyed friend who was watching her quietly the whole time finally spoke. “Please calm down, Hime-sama. We don’t know the whole truth yet. There is a chance it’s not true. It might be some kind of prank since today is April Fools’.”
Her eyes widened at her friend's statement. Nobutatsu… Did she realize it was her all along?
“April Fools? Nobody does that nowadays. What is so fun about deceiving other people for laughs? I don’t approve of having a day like that to validate people’s crude and insensitive jokes. Surely Kagura-chan wouldn’t do something as crass as making people worry about her for fun.” Hinowa disapproved.
The prankster’s blood ran cold.
Tsukuyo nodded, “I agree. Kagura wouldn’t do the same mistake as she did when she feigned her illness. I’m sure she learned her lesson.”
A jab.
“Right, right! She even promised Otose-san not to pull that kind of thing again or we’ll cremate her for real.”
She’s… She’s screwed!
How could Sacchan remember that oath she made years ago?! Honestly, she thought she could get away with this prank because today was April Fools’! Has this custom always been unpopular? And this wasn’t even as bad of a joke as last time… was it?
Soyo spoke gravely, “I don’t want to believe it, but it must be true… After all, how else could you explain how this adorable Kanna-chan looks exactly like Kagura-chan?! It’s like Kagura-chan de-aged herself!”
Soyo had hit the bullseye.
Kagura was beginning to sweat profusely in panic. Now there’s no way she could ever tell them it was all a lie! She could have an even worse fate than being cremated! Thankfully, Nobume did not say anything more to push it through. Maybe she didn’t realize it was her after all.
Her best friend continued, “But now that we know about her secret, there is only one thing we should do…”
Kagura shivered. She was not having a good feeling about this.
“Find the piece of scum who impregnated Kagura-chan and make him take responsibility.”
She froze. By taking responsibility did they mean…
What her Mami and Papi did… and warned her about…
A SHOTGUN WEDDING?!
“Hold it, Soyo. I don’t think we should interfere. There must be a reason why she did not tell us. Maybe we should ask her first.”
Kagura had the urge to embrace the blonde woman for saving her until the glasses-wearing woman replied, “Are you not thinking at all, Tsukuyo? She hid this from us for how many years, what makes you think she'd tell if we ask her now?”
“Besides, we can just ask Kanna-chan. Right, Kanna-chan, who is your father?” Soyo eagerly inquired.
“A banana!” She answered almost too quickly, thinking of reusing her story from before. “My Mami ate too much banana and threw me up!”
At her statement, instead of being directed with confounded expressions, Kagura received sympathetic ones.
Hinowa was the first to say her thoughts, appearing to be saddened by the revelation, “Poor child, Kagura-chan must have suffered a lot… And she even had to lie to her daughter… Don’t worry, we’ll find him no matter what and skewer his ***.”
“It’s not a lie! My Mami inherited P*ccolo’s technique5 to—”
Shit, she can’t get through them at all. Even if she told them about that stupid banana self-cloning technique story to them, they’d dismiss it as some cover-up made by ‘Kagura’ to ‘Kanna’!
“I hate to think about this, but what if… that banana may have forced his way to Kagura? It might be the reason why she refused to tell anyone about this.” Sacchan uncharacteristically said in a grievous tone.
The atmosphere turned grim at the Sacchan’s conjecture, and Kagura was starting to regret her past decisions that led to this.
"But if you think about it… I can't imagine Kagura-chan letting some banana have his way with her… I mean, it's Kagura-chan we're talking about." Hinowa reasoned.
Sacchan considered the thought and finally accepted it, "You have a point. The banana would be squashed before it could even get its tip to graze her."
WHAT'S WITH THAT, HOW COULD THEY GET AWAY WITH SAYING THAT?!
"Right, Kagura is a member of one of the strongest races in the universe, so the owner of the banana should definitely be weaker than her… It must be consensual.” Tsukuyo said.
“Then all the more reason that we must find the owner of that vile banana! If they had some kind of relationship, then Kagura-chan must’ve been so heartbroken!”
STOP THIS BANANA TALK ALREADY!!
The young Yato was starting to get dizzy with the conversation. This was the worst scenario ever. She’ll be as good as dead if they find out about her lie, but she’ll only be prolonging the agony because they’d still find out eventually. Why did she think it was a good idea to prank her friends? Maybe she should’ve just taken a nap with Sadaharu or read JUMP and waited for Gin-chan at home… even playing with the sadist would’ve been better than this situation.
“But how can we find him? If he’s an alien, it would be impossible to catch that guy.” Hinowa thought out loud.
“We don’t know for sure that he’s an alien.” Sacchan said then turned towards Kagura, “Kid, you said you were three years old, right? When did you turn?”
“Last last month…?” She trailed, unsure of what to answer.
The spectacled ninja fixed her glasses as they glinted despite having broken lenses, “That’s February. Then she must’ve been conceived three years ago in August.”
“Huh, why August? Shouldn’t it be May?” Tsukuyo asked.
“Yato females only have 5 to 6-month-long pregnancy.”
Kagura tilted her head at the information. It was the first time she heard of this.
“How did ‘ya know that?”
“You know when I went on a business trip in space to make a business deal with the Kaientai, right? I became friends with the owner, and it turns out she was a Yato and had just given birth a few months ago. I heard about it back then.”
No way… She wasn’t talking about Mucchy, was she? She never even heard about her being pregnant!
“But that’s around the time when the war happened… and Kagura-chan left earth around September. Does that mean…?”
Kagura was starting to panic. At this rate, they’re going to get the wrong idea and things are going to escalate to an irreversible situation like before!
Let’s just turn back right now, before it’s too late!
She gathered all her power and evened her breathing to make herself big again, but nothing happened.
Right, it’s been a long time since she used this ability; before, she was having trouble controlling it and randomly changed ages any time in one day, but after having suppressed it and not practicing it for so long, it shouldn’t be surprising she’d have trouble doing it now.
But why now?! She did it so easily earlier, so why’d she have problems at this critical moment?!
While she was having a crisis, the girls continued their discussion, except for Nobume who kept quiet the whole time. “If he’s human, then he must be someone close to Kagura.” Tsukuyo supplied.
“She said it’s not Gin-san, but it couldn’t be that glasses kid either since he’s a virgin.”
“Then is it—”
Unable to keep it any longer, Kagura yelled, “I-I lied!”
Heads turned towards the little girl.
“The truth is…” For a second, she contemplated whether it would be fine to just confess right here and now but ended up sputtering lies instead, “I know my Papi! He’s an alien from a faraway planet, billions of galaxies away from us. It’ll take a hundred years to travel to that place even with the fastest spaceship, uh-huh!”
What was she saying now?! Is she dumb?! There’s no way they would believe such an obvious lie!
She refused to meet their eyes, thinking everything was over, until her best friend rumbled sinisterly, “I see… so an ordinary alien just **** and ***** my Kagura-chan and broke it off like nothing… Who does he think he is? Don’t worry, Kanna-chan. I’ll do everything in my power as the Prime Minister to find him and fry him in front of you.”
Soyo-channnn! Are you okay with exploiting your position like that for a lie?!
“Y-You can’t. My Papi is more powerful than you think, yes? You see, h—he’s a king!”
“A king? I guess Kagura-chan would only settle for men of that caliber… So where is he from?”
I’m sorry, Soyo-chan! This is the last lie I’ll ever tell in my life!
“He’s the King of the Planet of…”
Was it just her, or is everything spinning around?
No, she was really fainting. Why? She brought her umbrella so she was well-shaded today. Why was it so hard to breathe? No one was choking her like last time. Speaking of last time, she’s definitely going to make him pay… that damn…
“Sadist…”
Somewhere on the surface, an ominous shiver ran down the spine of the most sadistic of all sadists, who was lounging inappropriately in an ongoing meeting between operatives. He was a seasoned fighter that could smell the threat of his death from a mile away, so he instinctively jumped up into a stance, his dominant hand at the hilt of his sword, surprising everyone in the room. All of his senses alerted at the tingle, and he made sure to be ready for anything coming his way, but after a few seconds of officers in confused and bated breath, nothing happened.
“Err, Okita-san? Is there a problem?” The officer doing the presentation asked warily.
He took a last scan of the room before relaxing his posture, his hands traveling from his sword to his pockets. “Nothing. I just tripped while slicing Hijikata in my dream.” He sat back down and signaled him to continue. Hijikata wasted his breath scolding Sougo for his murder fantasies which he returned with a dismissive yawn. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t listening now since he already knew every detail of this operation—he was the one assigned to lead it after all.
Although he was back to his comfortable position, Sougo didn’t put his eye mask back on. The bad feeling didn’t go away—it was still in the pit of his stomach so he could hardly ignore it. Was it just imagination? It can’t be… His instincts never failed him before. Or maybe his days underground as the head of a mafia made him a little paranoid…
Approximately two or three hours passed without incident, and he was convinced it was nothing. That was until a ringtone resounded in the room. Everyone looked around and checked their own phones nervously, afraid of the fate of being chewed out by the demonic Vice-Chief.
“Oi, whose phone was that?! Have you forgotten we’ve reestablished regulation 17: no phones during meetings and important ceremonies except if it’s from Otae-san (added by the Commander)?! Commit seppuku now! ”
“It’s Otae-san!” Heads turned towards the violator who was none other than their gorilla Chief. The scarred primate fumbled on his phone before happily answering in his most irritating, honeyed voice.
“Tsk, that woman… She isn’t even our Commander’s wife yet but she already has our codes bending for her… At this rate, it will be a matter of time before she has the entire Shinsengumi in the palm of her hand.” Hijikata mumbled beside him.
“She’s not a real gorilla, at least.” Sougo drawled in reply. He couldn’t really care any less about it, as long as Kondo-san was happy—
“Eh? Sougo? Is there something you want with him?” His head snapped in their Commander’s direction. He couldn’t hear the other side of the line, but judging from how Kondo’s face grew darker by the second, he knew he wasn’t mentioned for something good.
The call ended, but not a word was said to resume the meeting. Instead, the grave look on their Commander’s face crept fear in them, and even Sougo, who was pretty much thick-skinned from emotions like fear, gulped.
Maybe his premonition earlier wasn’t a false alarm, but an advanced one.
“Sougo, go to the Shimura’s residence pronto. This is an order.”
The wooden gates of the Shimura dojo have never looked menacing to him before. Sougo knew that what was waiting behind those doors was his imminent death—if the undeniable bloodlust emanating from it was anything to go by.
He thought of running away, avoiding that fate at all costs, but he wasn’t one to do that—rather, he’s the type to embrace it as a challenge. Death was not his foe but his friend, and they go way back from when he became the vanguard of Shinsengumi. And if it’s not for that reason, it would also be for his sheer curiosity when he heard it was something involved with China.
Trust that girl to be the one to raise his death flag.
Knowing nothing will happen with him idly standing there, he finally knocked. The door opened upon his second strike, revealing the newly reconstructed dojo in his sight.
He was greeted by nothing but silence, but Sougo knew better than to be deceived by this inactivity. It was no secret that this place can become a fortress, controlled by the most vicious of all amazons. Though his stance was nothing sort of defensive, every single muscle in his body tensed with caution.
He took a step inside and the moment the doors shut behind him, projectiles of sharp deadly weapons rained in his direction. Sougo knew in an instant that they were not aimed to kill but intimidate, so he only stayed still.
And he was right on the money. The assortment of blades pierced his shadow instead of flesh. Two different types of kunai, a spear in between his legs that almost skewered his balls, and a razor-edged katana over his head. Just taking a quick look at the weapons revealed the identity of the wielders before they even had to show their faces.
“Oi oi, aren’t you Danna’s harem? Why are you all coming after me? Is Danna not satisfying you anymore?” Sougo casually jested, as if he was not just a few millimeters away from getting new multiple holes in his body.
A strong, false gentle voice echoed from above, “Welcome, Okita-kun. Now, how do you wish to die?”
He looked up. There, he saw four women standing atop the dojo’s roof, appearing to be Grim Reapers ready to take his life.
“Did China frame me for stealing your panties? If it’s like that, shouldn’t your stalker boyfriends be the prime suspect? I don’t have that kind of hobby.” He tried to recount all sorts of things he did that could’ve caused the wrath of all these women as he spoke, but nothing came. He was pretty civil with all of them, and they were only slightly acquainted.
If it wasn’t them that he’d done wrong, then maybe it’s China? But as far as he can recall, he hasn’t done anything beyond the extremes that they always do to each other that could’ve set any of her friends off.
The shoji doors suddenly flung open, revealing a person he didn’t expect to see—the former princess, or rather, the current Prime Minister of Tokyo. “It would’ve been fine if it was our panties that you stole, Okita-san.” The princess began with her usual smile but with a dark undertone plastered on her face.
It’s fine?
“But you stole something much more precious to us. And you’re going to pay for it… with your life.”
“This idiot just collapsed for suddenly using a high-level qigong technique after not practicing it for so long. She’ll be fine.”
Hm? That voice sounds stupidly familiar… Was that her idiot brother? But there’s no way it’s him.
“She better be, or your **** will be grilled and stir-fried before you go off to your merry space-voyaging tomorrow.”
Now it’s Nobutatsu… Then there's definitely in no possible way that was her brother.
“If I’m right, then how about you eat it instead of cooking it?”
“BANANA FISHHHHHHHU!6” Kagura shouted as abruptly as she got up, unspeakably horrified by what she heard in her dreams. Or was it?
She looked around her, searching for her disgusting antenna-head brother but only found Nobume sitting beside her, to her uttermost relief.
“You’re up, Kagura. We were worried about you.”
Kagura almost teared up as she looked at her friend, remembering the events prior to her blackout. She flung herself to the navy-haired woman, landing safely on her lap. It was then when that she realized that she was still in her child form. “Nobutatsu! You knew it was me?”
Nobume patted her head, “Yeah. I knew about your age-shifting ability.”
“B-But how? Did Shinpachi or the sadist tattle on me?”
Her friend offered no reply.
“How about Soyo-chan and the others? Do they know? They must hate me now…” The female Yato sniffled sadly which was only met with silence that terrified her by the second.
After a pregnant pause, Nobume finally answered, “…No, They still think you’re Kanna. I didn’t tell them because I thought you might want to tell them yourself, Kagura.”
This welled up her eyes with tears all the more, making them flow and mix with her snot. She could almost feel her heart expanding, so she hugged her friend to express it. “Thank you, Nobutatsu. This time, I really should confess my mistake, yes?”
Her friend was almost as still as a statue as she embraced her until she felt a hand gently stroking her back. “And Kagura, you know that they’ll never hate you, don’t you?”
She nodded between her sobs.
Although the woman comforting her was known to be short with people, she knew from the tenderness of that soft smile and gestures that her dear sadistic sister was never short of gentle to those she cared for.
After a few minutes, she finally calmed down and finally noticed the room and backyard seen through the opened shoji resembling her Anego’s place rather than Hinowa and Tsukky’s quarters in Yoshiwara. When she asked about it, Nobume said they tried to send her to many hospitals from underground to the surface but not a single one accepted an Amanto patient, so they settled here instead.
It wasn’t surprising; the social stigma against Amanto inevitably grew over the years after the Intergalactic war. If she didn’t completely look human, she’d probably get some rocks thrown at her while strolling, especially outside Kabuki-cho where people knew nothing about her. But to think it has gone as far as forbidding them in health facilities…
She lost her train of thought when her eyes caught sight of a huge gaping hole in the roof over them.
“Hm? Why is there a hole in the ceiling? Wasn’t this house newly renovated?”
“Must be because of the stalkers.”
Kagura nodded in agreement, clear of doubt of the sensible reasoning. “That must be it, uh-huh.”
The subtle sound of walking steps vibrated across the wooden floors from the engawa7, making the two of them turn to see the person approaching the room. The distinguishable shadow passing across the thin shoji doors made out a woman wearing a yukata and a high ponytail, which already told them who it was before the person herself could emerge.
“You’re awake, Kanna-chan! Are you feeling okay? Can you move?”
Kagura scuttled towards her pseudo-sister while crying out, “Anego!”
The worried woman was taken aback by her sudden sprint but accepted her embrace nonetheless and patted her head.
Kagura gathered all her courage to let the words of confession out of her mouth, “Anego, I… I—!!!”
“My, seems you are well enough to run like that! I’m glad. You woke up just in time, too.”
Confused, Kagura tilted her head upwards to look at the brown-eyed woman, “In time for what?”
Otae smiled, but for some reason, she felt not warmth but a cold shiver at the sight of it.
“To meet your father.”
Kagura blinked. Before she could ask any further, the rest of the female gang arrived, along with a man she loathed to ever come face to face with.
He was almost unrecognizable in white traditional clothing, composed of a plain white kosode8 and kamishimo9—the exact same thing they wore in that ‘Sorry’ episode.10 But the most baffling of all his appearance was his hands and feet, which were both visibly secured with a metal chain.
Her jaw dropped and her whole body shook, showing how astounded she was at the very moment.
Wha… What’s this guy doing here?!
“Nice to meet you, daughter.”