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At more than one hour longer than scheduled, it’s finally over. They just ended the fanmeeting with Lucky and now Kyungsoo’s hand is creeping up Jongin’s back, being pulled in by Jongin’s immediate warm grip on his shoulder. It's a fleeting touch. Actually, they all are. Jongin pinching Kyungsoo’s jacket just because, Kyungsoo holding onto him as they sing Paradise at one end of the stage together, brushing their hands against each other while they play fight. On their own, those touches are all meaningless. Only the two of them know how much it means to express even small fractions of affection on a stage meant for idols with squeaky clean personal records. They walk towards the exit of the stage, allowing their arms to wind around each other for a few heartbeats as they accept the end of this happy moment - together with the fans.
“Let’s race to the dressing room!”, Jongin tells Kyungsoo next to him as they’re the first ones to leave the stage and immediately starts jogging.
“Come on!”, he repeats, obnoxiously clapping his hands, turning his head backward towards Kyungsoo as his tempo increases. He always forgets how much energy Kyungsoo truly has stored inside of him, because one blink later the man has already caught up to him and now they’re laughing trying to outrun each other. Kyungsoo reaches the door first and announces his win with a big slap on the metal door with the flat of his hand. However, polite as he is, he opens the door for Jongin to slip through first. The dressing room is empty.
They’re both barely catching their breaths when Jongin suddenly surges forward and presses his lips onto Kyungsoo’s, one hand pulling him in by the waist and the other hand cradling his left cheek. Kyungsoo gasps, but his lips are accustomed to the taste of Jongin already and so he melts right into the kiss. His hands ball to little fists as he rests them on Jongin’s narrow waist and indulges in the affection. A warm hand on his cheek, a strong arm around his waist. Jongin’s hair is tickling his temple with how long it has become, but he doesn’t mind. His hair is soft and always smells like cashmere. With the insoles on, it’s unfamiliar to only have to bridge a short gap in order to kiss Jongin. Most of the time, Jongin would lean down to meet his lips, or Kyungsoo would stand on his tip-toes and have Jongin’s muscle memory activated to hold him by the waist for stability. It’s fairly nice, kissing like this, only tilting his face up for the sweet reward from Jongin. There’s a rush of blood making his body tingle all over, a thrumming in his ear while Jongin swallows down all of his worries with his lips.
Kyungsoo opens his mouth, ready to plunge in again, eyes half-lidded. Jongin is the braver initiator, but Kyungsoo is the one who actually craves. Jongin draws back from him, first with his lips, then his hand leaves his cheek (but not before stroking over the porcelain skin with his thumb one more time). His hand remains on his waist, like it belongs there. Kyungsoo is the more cautious one between the two of them, but Jongin is the one who pays attention to their surroundings and knows exactly when to stop.
“Didn’t want to wait”, Jongin says lowly and the corners of his lips turn up. Kyungsoo simply stares up at him and nods, mesmerized by the man in front of him. He feels himself coming down from the intense pump of adrenaline from the meeting second by second. He loosens his fists and lets his arms drop down besides his body again. Jongin takes off his grey suit jacket embroidered with leopard print-like patches. He always manages to remove his clothes so elegantly, carelessly slipping out his arms of the fabric to reveal his toned bicep. With his obsession of keeping his clothes neat and tidy, it makes sense that Jongin does this. He’s hot from the stage lights, while Kyungsoo feels comfortable in his attire. The black and white checkered jacket has just recently become a staple in his wardrobe. Jongin taps his waist a few times, something he always does to reassure him, and walks away from him to check his make-up in the mirror.
The remaining members enter the dressing room in comfortable silence, it’s just Minseok who shows his gummy smile as he asks, “Why did you two run away so quickly?”
“Still pumped with adrenaline from the show”, Jongin answers, focused on dabbing away the sweat from his temple without removing the concealer staff applied on him. And indeed, he has that jitter to him right now that makes him jump up and down. When Jongin can’t stand still, it becomes annoying sometimes, but oh does Kyungsoo love when it makes him eager to kiss him at all times. Just like now. As much as he prides himself in being four-dimensional, Jongin never fails to surprise him with new ways to steal a kiss from him.
Minseok nods, Jongin’s answer more than plausible for him and the rest of the members. Before they stepped onto the stage, it was evident that all of their voices had a slight quiver to them as they formed a circle and shouted their slogan in unison. Meeting the fans after such a long time of enlistments, a pandemic and general hiatus was truly nerve-racking and beautiful at the same time. One by one, the members come around to hug each other again, congratulating themselves for this incredible milestone and family-like bond between them. Jongin and Junmyeon are both almost about to cry again, if it wasn’t for the door opening to reveal not another staff member, but Baekhyun who announces himself as loudly as ever.
The dynamic Baekhyun brings into the dressing room is refreshing and more than welcomed after all of the active members worked their hardest to remind the fans of their various charms. Baekhyun is just Baekhyun - carefree, because why would he be tense when he was able to relax and watch the show from backstage, casually making the fans go crazy with his tweets. A few days ago, it was just the five of them meeting; today they were six. With patience and a positive mind, it wouldn’t take long until they would stand complete at the stage of Sky Dome again.
Since this has been a fan meeting with little decoration or preparations, they get to leave the venue quickly. Normally, they would split up in the garage for everyone to go their own way. Everyone moving into their own apartments upon the start of their enlistment era meant different directions for everyone. While the others enjoyed their rides mostly in solitude, Kyungsoo and Jongin prefered to ride in a van together not only when they slept over at Jongin’s home, but also when Kyungsoo stayed over at the dorm for practical reasons and they had to say goodbye at the swell of the car door because Jongin still needed to be chauffeured home. Even though their rides together didn’t entail anything special majority of the time - they liked to watch a few videos together or to silently look out of the window - it was nice to coexist. Jongin would let Kyungsoo sit by the window while he sat on the middle seat because he enjoyed taking pictures of the scenery and letting his thoughts wander aimlessly. Jongin was fine with the middle seat, it was just a car after all and the thought of keeping the space of an entire seat between them seemed ridiculous to him.
Today was a special day. Today they would all drive to the dorm together, with all the big plans piled up for their group comeback and more there was a lot to organize and the company could mobilize the members way quicker if they all stayed at the same place, just like the old times. It was crazy to think about how they went from using multiple vehicles to being able to fit all 6 of them into the same car right now. Baekhyun, Junmyeon and Minseok go to sit at the front row of the van while Kyungsoo, Jongin and Sehun are making themselves comfortable in the backseats.
Sehun makes all of them laugh by randomly playing History on his phone as they take off. It naturally spirals into a conversation about the fan meeting, their three performances and the games they played. Baekhyun starts arguing with Sehun about being replaced as the jokester from his front seat and soon enough, Junmyeon and Minseok join them loudly. Kyungsoo and Jongin, on the other hand, don't participate. In fact, they don’t even observe.
“When we sang Lucky, you were about to cry too, weren’t you?”, Jongin asks. His eyes stare deep into him, shoulders pressing together while the car turns right on a traffic light.
“Of course I got emotional as well…”, Kyungsoo admits. Both of his hands come to rub over his thighs, washing away the nervosity like waves wash away the sand of yesterday. He’s not embarrassed to show emotions by any means and hasn't been for a long time; experiencing it in front of an entire gymnasium was a different case, though.
“But when I noticed you were crying I just sucked it up because it would’ve been even more embarrassing if we both cried like idiots and not just you”, he adds and a deep but quiet laugh erupts from his throat. It’s for Jongin only.
Jongin looks at him offended before he slaps Kyungsoo’s chest weakly in defense, “Hey! I didn’t cry, what are you even saying!”
Kyungsoo’s eyes crinkle up even more and he tilts back his head in joy watching Jongin react to his teasing.
“You still came to comfort me though”, Jongin mumbles, eyes still glaring at the menace that Kyungsoo is. His pout makes him look mad, but the gentle hand on Kyungsoo’s thigh proves his true mood otherwise.
Kyungsoo angles his body and carefully perches his chin on top of Jongin’s broad shoulder. He stares up at Jongin, white of his eyes accentuated while his lids relax - showing how Jongin is not a threat, but home. When Jongin looks him into the eyes, he remembers the day the lyrics to Vanilla were presented to him and the descriptions of a love were hauntingly beautiful. He accepted them without hesitation after reading the words of one’s lover looking up beautifully to their love, likening them to sweet ice cream. That’s just what Jongin feels at this moment as his eyes remain locked with Kyungsoo’s and he basks in the comfort of the weight on his shoulder. The song was not a fan favorite, a bit too raw for most people to listen to, but it was a song Jongin would sing without pretense.
“Of course”, Kyungsoo breaks the moment delicately, voice a small whisper, “If I didn’t already know that I would make you cry even harder by hugging you, I would’ve done it. I know you cry easily because you’re just happy and sensitive but… I just wanted you to know I’m here at least.”
He proceeds to turn his head to now rest his cheek on Jongin’s shoulder instead. The hand on his own thigh moves up to grasp onto Jongin’s biceps, managing to fit into the very constricted amount of space between them. It’s in the nature of travelling by car, but Kyungsoo adores the feeling of every centimeter of their bodies touching, even better when they’re pressed together and he can feel Jongin’s warmth on him. It’s part of the reason why he always notices when Jongin falls sick, his temperature will rise up and burn him as they simply sit side by side, huddled close because that’s just how it works between them. Jongin would never explicitly ask for it, but he enjoyed whenever Kyungsoo put his lips on his neck to check his temperature.
When Jongin checks the reflection of the window, he spots a serene smile on Kyungsoo’s face, grip on his arm as tight as always.
Their solace is interrupted by Baekhyun, who apparently has looked into the rearview mirror to see both of the men resting together. Noisy as he is, he turns around fully in his seat and goes as far as to drop an arm over the headrest to address them.
“How are SM even letting you two still stand next to each other at schedules?”, he laughs. The members aren’t bringing up the company's treatment of their relationship very often since the conversation tends to turn awkward very quickly, however this time the mood is lighthearted and admittedly, Baekhyun’s comment is not out of place at all (for once in that guy’s life). Jongin can’t fathom why exactly he felt like this, all he knows is that today with this special occasion and all the high energy and nostalgia bubbling up, he felt especially drawn to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo felt the same way, the hype of standing on a live stage after 3 years of inactivity made him feel loose and carefree. It was when he was in his best mood that he felt his connection to Jongin the strongest. Because when they joke around together, that’s when they both feel the most at ease.
“You should’ve been at our reality show filming then, hyung! Everytime I went to sit down the staff wouldn’t say anything but they would point and glare at me like ‘No no Jongin don’t sit down there sit down here’”, Jongin exclaims loudly and imitates their reactions, “Really, they did that!”
A gasp beside him attracts the attention of all the members. Of course it’s Sehun, who looks Jongin hard into the face, scandalized.
“Are you saying you were forced to sit next to me? You should be fighting for my attention!”
First Junmyeon cracks a smile, and then just like a domino reaction, they all start laughing over the youngests dramatics.
“Well, we can’t just change our standing order that existed since debut because of that”, Junmyeon eventually tries to reason. He looks like he wants to say something else, but Kyungsoo beats him to it.
“I think they know Jongin is a huge help for me to overcome my absence from entertainment and being an idol”, he says with a straight face and small hand gestures, “You know they all like it too when I come out of my shell. You guys know that I feel embarrassed quickly though so it’s hard sometimes. And Jonginnie encourages me to do all these things on stage.”
Jongin feels the eyes of Baekhyun, Minseok, Sehun and Junmyeon piercing him. How is Kyungsoo able to say stuff like this with a stoic face every single time? Jongin can’t help but tilt his head to the side upon hearing Kyungsoo praise him like that. He also can’t help but smile down on himself, after all he’s hearing Kyungsoo praise him like that.
“Why are you doing this to me…”, Jongin mumbles.
Sensing that Jongin feels flustered, Baekhyun claps his hands and says: “Well Kyungsoo, you did well today!”
He pauses for a moment to high-five the aforementioned idol, “Just look at how confidently you danced to Overdose, that was better than the performance of our main dancer right here.”
In reaction there is a collective mumbling in agreement. Baekhyun takes his joking a step further and starts mimicking Kyungsoo’s performance in his seat, theatrically executing the dance steps while pulling a grimace that makes everyone erupt into laughter yet again. Sehun comments on how funny Junmyeon looked doing the Obsession choreography and they start discussing which choreographies they remember and which ones they forgot the fastest.
After chiming in with a comment or two, Jongin decides striking a conversation with his adorable seatmate is more fun right now. Kyungsoo has been holding back from his window seat anyways, preferring to quietly watch discussions play out.
“I like fan meetings like this because it means you can show a little bit of how I see you in private every day to the world”, Jongin says to him, face closer than it needs to be to communicate.
“How fun you are… how bubbly… and full of natural aegyo…”, he lists off.
“Oh, really?”, Kyungsoo seems earnestly taken aback. His eyes go white and his eyebrows rise up. It’s so lovely how expressive Kyungsoo’s face is. Contrasting the words he speaks, his facial expressions rarely lie. They’re so candid and intense every single time. One could say something minimally surprising and Kyungsoo would respond by forming an ‘O’ with his mouth, neck coming forward and lips protruding. It’s so endearing.
Jongin nods, mind still going on in circles about how adorable Kyungsoo’s reactions are. When Kyungsoo’s facial features ease after he gets his confirmation, Jongin is just drawn to his face even more. His default state of being seems to be slightly drawn eyebrows and a small pout. Jongin is technically looking him in the eyes, but it feels more like he’s staring into the void - a void where he’s spending all day being smitten with the man next to him.
Kyungsoo notices Jongin being starstruck, because he can sense when Jongin is deliberately holding eye contact with him. He would be able to recognize the soft brown eyes with the irises diluting as he looked at him lovingly even in his sleep.
“What are you thinking?”, Kyungsoo asks, quietly. The other members are loud enough, he and Jongin enjoy speaking to each other in hushed voices. Their every conversation suddenly seems like a secret to be kept for eternity, words to only be soaked up by the two of them. Kyungsoo also enjoys the roughness of Jongin’s voice and the way it’s forced to deepen when he speaks quietly. His low tone gives him goosebumps.
At that question, Jongin snaps out of his daydream and doesn’t miss the opportunity to tease Kyungsoo.
“Guess”, he says with a mischievous smile.
“How many letters does it have? The thing you’re thinking about?”, Kyungsoo retorts equally playful. He already remembers that moment on stage today fondly, how Jongin almost made his knees buckle when he started flirting with him while everyone else remained quiet on stage. Jongin appears to remember it as fondly as he does, because he laughs his signature three syllable laugh.
“Three”, Jongin responds with a confident bite to his voice. His chin is raised up. He won’t let himself be outsmarted by Kyungsoo, “And how many letters does whatever you are thinking about have?”
He expects Kyungsoo to accurately read his thoughts and there is only one right answer: for him to respond with three letters as well. He’s already giddy, thinking about Kyungsoo’s response.
“Five”, Kyungsoo says, one corner of his lips quirking up in amusement.
“Wait, five?”, Jongin’s smile transforms into an offended pout, “Hyung… I was thinking about how I love you.”
Kyungsoo closes his eyes and tips his head back, snickering about the way Jongin’s brain works sometimes.
“And I was thinking about how I love you too. That’s five letters.”
“Oh…” Jongin finally gets it.
“Dummy”, Kyungsoo adds. He shakes his head and rolls his eyes, but the smile on his face won’t budge a single millimeter. He reaches out to give Jongin a light slap on his face, who in return catches his wrist with a giggle and lowers it down between them - continuing to hold the eye contact between them. Jongin raises one eyebrow at him as his fingers wander along the insides of his wrist and eventually creep up to touch his soft palm until their hands are finally intertwined. Kyungsoo breaks their shared gaze for a moment to fondly look down on their conjoined hands, brushing his thumb over Jongin’s own.
Once their eyes meet again, they both start giggling quietly, shoulders heaving up and down in silent, warm joy. Jongin’s foot comes up to hook into the space between Kyungsoo’s shoes, tips of the sneakers they turned into touching.
“Uh… I know you guys don’t do the whole kissing thing in front of us but god, witnessing this is even worse”, Junmyeon suddenly remarks from the car seat row in front of them.
Neither of them noticed the conversation between the rest of the members slowing down as they continued to bicker with each other.
“Just kiss, man”, Baekhyun says.
“I know right”, Minseok says beside him, looking weirdly fascinated. His shoulders shake as if a shiver is running down his spine, “The tension is crazy.”
Jongin slowly detaches his hand from Kyungsoo for it to instinctively move up to his face for him to start biting at his nail. He laughs nervously, not knowing how to respond to that. He doesn’t want to actually initiate anything because putting Kyungsoo in the spot and potentially embarrassing him is not worth the temporary sweetness of a chaste kiss.
But then, it all happens quickly, a hand is gently pulling him in by his nape and Kyungsoo lifts up from his seat to pucker his lips and press them onto Jongin’s. Jongin barely has time to close his eyes but fortunately, his body is so accustomed to Kyungsoo’s touch that his lips reciprocate the kiss with no delay. His heart pounds wildy in his chest as he comes to the realization that Do Kyungsoo is proudly kissing him in front of his members.
Before any of them can pull back, there’s already the sound of a camera shutter haunting them. Kyungsoo perches up like a meerkat, identifies the culprit Sehun instantly with how he proudly continues to hold up his phone, and reaches over Jongin’s body to hit the youngest with his closed fist. It’s one thing when Jongin feels lovey-dovey and uses the self timer on his IPhone to capture them as a couple, it’s definitely another thing when his bandmate catches them in ugly stage clothes and creasing make-up in front of the group. With how clumsy he is, Sehun might as well accidentally airdrop that picture to every car in a 100 meter radius.
“Oh Sehun!”, he reprimands him. The scolding seems to not be taken seriously by anyone though, as Sehun is chuckling and barely protecting his body from the hits and the other members laugh along in the background. The weak hitting continues, and as brave as he is, even an Oh Sehun eventually begs for mercy.
When Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and leans back on the seat rest again, his cheeks are tinted pink like a peach glazed donut. Jongin laughs full-heartedly beside him, seeming unbothered but the intense red on his face gives away that he feels just as flustered. And when their eyes meet yet another time, Kyungsoo concludes that this maybe doesn’t actually feel too bad at all.
They all return safely to the SM building following the smooth car ride. There’s a lot of content mapped out for them, a lot planned for Jongdae’s discharge and their anticipated comeback following it. The celebration of their 10th anniversary is also a reason to properly get together in a place near and dear to all of them. It’s not comparable to the evenings spent at private restaurant booths together as they catch up over their busy lives over multiple boiling malatang pots.
No one is surprised when Kyungsoo and Jongin disappear to the same room together, the rest of the members occupied with settling down in the dorm they once all called their shared home.
“Jongin-ah”, Kyungsoo calls. He’s already sitting on the edge of the bed they used to share the night in almost every single day a few years ago. Kyungsoo is in love with how he doesn’t have to fight for Jongin’s attention, and never has to do anything special to make him listen to him. Jongin always keeps him at the back of his mind, which is why he always responds so fast when Kyungsoo calls him, too. Jongin walks up to him in small steps, always indulging in a slow and comfortable lifestyle. They match well.
“Why did you have to hold my neck like that during the fanmeet…”, Kyungsoo says, feeling partly embarrassed and partly amused thinking back on it. Jongin stops right in front of him, his figure looming over him. His hand slowly approaches him and winds around his neck the exact same way as during the fan event. This time around, however, Jongin dares to lean toward until his breath hits Kyungsoo’s neck.
“Like this?”, he whispers. He rests his forehead on Kyungsoo’s and rubs their noses against each other, soft bear-like eyes contrasting the assertiveness of his motions.
“Yeah”, Kyungsoo breathes out, holding his gaze. He doesn’t quite know what to do with his hands, pull Jongin closer to him or keep them on his thighs as they are because they need to be back at the main living room in 10 minutes.
Fortunately Jongin takes the responsibility from him by backing out on his own. He straightens his back and continues chatting like nothing happened (well, except for the shit-eating grin on his face as he takes a good look at the reddened tips of his ears).
“You know, I love how you always call me Jongin, even on stage. I’m not just Kai for you - I’m Jongin”, he tells him. Kyungsoo can hear how bright and genuine Jongin is as he says this. His face is sharp and angular, but when he’s happy… his cheeks will rise up and look big and round. He loves to see the glee on his face and unique dimples appearing alongside.
“Jongin-ah”, Jongin adds, voice dropping in volume.
“Jonginnie”, the younger says at last with a smile, voice further dropping down barely to a whisper.
“It’s my favorite side effect of you having been deprived from the public spotlight for so long, you forgetting about all the formalities”, he carefully combs through Kyungsoo’s bangs with his sturdy but slender hands and brushes a strand of Kyungsoo’s straight black hair to the side. He makes sure to trace the outside of his earlobe before pulling away his hand, knowing Kyungsoo squirms and tingles inside at the intimate touch.
“Just wait until it’s your turn to go to the military”, Kyungsoo deadpans, shaking his head and consequently ruining Jongin’s little work of art.
“Don’t bring that up, that’s a sensitive topic for me”, Jongin jokes, “I just wanted to say I’m happy to see you being this confident now.”
“Are you sure you’re not jealous of how I stole the show during our reality program and defeated you as the variety master?”
“Why should I be jealous? I have a bigger catalogue than you”, Jongin whines by pushing his chin forward as he talks and crossing his arms in front of his chest.
Kyungsoo holds his hands up in the air and shakes them to take back his statement, heart-shaped smile in full view.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding”, he says, pulls Jongin in by his collar and catches his plump upper lip between his own. Jongin blindly reaches for Kyungsoo’s hand as their lips press up against each other and fills the spaces of his fingers with his own, smiling into the kiss.
They say wine gets better with age. Jongin is convinced the same holds true for kisses. Matching EXO’s anniversary, Kyungsoo’s kisses have been over 10 years in the making now - and he can’t wait to taste them anew at every future anniversary to come.