Work Text:
“I want you to be prepared if—.”
“I am, Gyu, I’m as prepared as I possibly can be.”
Beomgyu nodded, biting his lip before signalling to Taehyun to open the door. Yeonjun clutched the arms of the wheelchair he was sat in and braced himself.
He was rolled in slowly, and the first thing he noticed was that the room was nearly identical to his. He supposed that made sense, they were in a hospital not a hotel after all. His eyes quickly found Soobin after that, and he felt his heart ache with a pain way worse than any of his own injuries.
Beomgyu rolled him right up to Soobin’s bedside, and Yeonjun felt his throat close up as he peered at his boyfriend of three years. He looked small on the bed, skin pale and hair half-obscured by the large bandage that wrapped around his head. He was hooked up to several more wires than Yeonjun had been when he woke up, and he choked back a sob as he reached out and took Soobin’s hand.
As gently as possible, he threaded their fingers together and leaned his upper body over the edge of the bed, resting his forehead on the back of Soobin’s hand. He took deep breaths, trying to remind himself that Soobin was okay, he was alive. They didn’t know the extent of the damage to his brain, but he was breathing on his own and apparently that was a very good thing.
His shoulders shook as he let himself cry. It was the first time he had actually shed tears since coming to in his own hospital bed. He felt two pairs of hands on his back, comforting him, and his crying only intensified.
It was a car crash, not that Yeonjun could really remember. The last thing he remembered was leaving the Hybe building to go get some lunch. Soobin had been with him, complaining about something that Yeonjun couldn’t remember anymore. But there had been laughter, and hand-holding, and then.
Nothing.
Yeonjun lifted his head, thumb rubbing Soobin’s knuckles, and he had Beomgyu push him a little closer. He reached out his free hand to touch Soobin’s unblemished cheek. “I’m right here, baby,” he whispered, voice thick with tears and despair. He stroked the younger’s cheek in silence for a few moments, and then turned to look over at his dongsaengs.
“Where is Kai?” he asked quietly. “He’s on his way from Jeju, we didn’t tell him everything, just that you two were in an accident,” Taehyun answered. He looked distressed, and Yeonjun pulled his hand from Soobin’s cheek to grasp Taehyun’s. “We’re okay, Hyunnie,” he reassured.
Taehyun nodded quickly, holding Yeonjun’s hand tightly. There were unshed tears sparkling in his eyes, but Yeonjun knew he was trying hard not to let them fall. Beomgyu moved from behind Yeonjun’s wheelchair to pull Taehyun into a hug. Yeonjun turned back to Soobin, stroking his cheek again and praying to whoever was listening that he’d wake up soon.
And if he woke up…he prayed that Soobin at least remembered who he was. There was a significant chance that some of Soobin’s memories had been affected in the accident. They wouldn't know anything for sure until he woke up, and Yeonjun was doing his best not to think the worst.
But.
What if Soobin didn’t remember him at all? What if he remembered him but from back before they were friends? What if…
What if Soobin didn’t love him anymore?
Yeonjun couldn’t think that way though, because whatever ended up happening, he had no control over. At the end of the day, Soobin was breathing, he was warm against Yeonjun’s palm, and he was alive. Yeonjun couldn’t ask for more than that.
Beomgyu helped Yeonjun move into the more comfortable chair next to Soobin’s bed, spreading his blankets over him and making sure his own injuries weren’t too aggravated. They were mostly cuts and bruises, but Yeonjun’s ankle had been fractured in the accident and was currently wrapped up in a temporary brace until they could get him in a cast. He had yet to really process his own situation because Soobin took priority. Nothing else mattered until Yeonjun knew he was okay.
Taehyun settled with Beomgyu on the couch, checking his phone constantly for updates on Kai’s location, and the three didn’t speak much. How could they, given the circumstances? Yeonjun drifted off to sleep a couple times, always waking up in a panic, but either Beomgyu or Taehyun calmed him down.
Soobin remained asleep.
Kai arrived a couple hours after Yeonjun started having his sleeping spells, and when he did, it gave Yeonjun a rush of energy and he was quick to comfort his maknae. The boy was a nearly inconsolable mess, sobbing loudly and unable to look at Soobin’s silent figure on the bed. Yeonjun empathised greatly and held Kai the best he could, absorbing his cries and whispering gentle reassurances in his ear.
“What i-if he can’t remember me?” Kai whispered, terrified. Yeonjun felt his throat close up again but this time he actively resisted his own tears. He stroked Kai’s cheek. “Then we’ll get through that together, okay? Hyung is here, and Soobin-hyung is still here,” he promised.
Kai nodded, sniffling and wiping his eyes. He gave Yeonjun another hug, before going to sit between Beomgyu and Taehyun, letting them smother him with hugs and comforting gestures. His eyes never left Soobin’s figure.
Yeonjun himself turned back to the bed, taking Soobin’s hand again and giving it a gentle squeeze.
The doctors and nurses came in and out of Soobin’s room periodically, but didn’t have much news. It was the waiting game now. And Yeonjun would wait forever for Soobin. The pain and fear never dulled, but Yeonjun got used to it the best he could, and just kept reminding himself that Soobin not remembering him was better than Soobin dying.
There was a collective gasp when Soobin shifted in bed. Everyone shot up from where they were sat, except for Yeonjun, who scrambled into a sitting position and—minding his ankle—leaned over the bed and took Soobin’s hand. His dongsaengs crowded around the other side of the bed, holding their breath.
Yeonjun’s voice was shaky when he spoke, and the sheer volume of adrenaline in his bloodstream was almost too much. “Soobin-ah?” he whispered. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest and his hand became slippery with sweat as he watched and waited for a possible response.
Soobin let out a weak hum, and then his eyes fluttered open.
Yeonjun’s heart dropped to his stomach and he felt the earth slow on its axis as Soobin blinked a few times, and then took in the scene around him. His eyes widened and shifted from confusion, to fear, back to confusion, and then he looked at everyone rapidly.
Please recognise at least one of us. Please.
His eyes eventually settled back on Yeonjun, and his brow furrowed. Yeonjun swore he would’ve passed out if not for the pressure of Soobin’s hand still in his. It felt like the moment of truth was upon them, and Yeonjun couldn’t feel his body anymore.
“Your hair is different, hyung,” Soobin managed, voice raspy from disuse.
Almost immediately and without warning, tears gathered on Yeonjun’s waterline. He instantly forced a smile to try and counteract the tears. His hair was a light periwinkle and had been so for a few weeks now.
Soobin remembered him, but not the present-day him. Which begged the question, which Yeonjun did he think he was talking to?
Despite Yeonjun’s efforts, Soobin was quick to pick up on the tears and his expression only grew more confused and worried. Yeonjun glanced at the others, who were all watching him with varying looks of defeat and sadness. Kai had a hand over his mouth to keep himself quiet.
Yeonjun squeezed Soobin’s hand, which caused the younger’s eyes to drop to their entwined hands, and Yeonjun felt an out-of-place thrill run through him as he saw a light blush give colour to Soobin’s pale cheeks.
He had a jolting realisation that he didn’t know which Soobin he was speaking to now, either.
“It’s okay, Soobin-ah. What’s the last hair colour you remember me having?” he replied softly, surprised at the steadiness of his voice. His heart was a jackhammer in his chest as he waited for Soobin to sift through his corrupted memories. His hand was still locked with his.
The tension in the room was almost tangible, and Yeonjun could feel the anxious energy rolling off of his dongsaengs as they all sat on the precipice of their new realities.
“You had yellow hair, but you were getting ready to dye it a different colour,” Soobin answered, voice slowing down as he studied Yeonjun even more closely. Yeonjun felt a wave of a relief accompanied swiftly by a wave of grief.
Two years gone.
It could’ve been many more, so many more lost, but it was still two of the most defining years of Yeonjun’s life with Soobin and now it was gone. Yeonjun tried working backward in his head to exactly when Soobin’s memories abruptly cut off, but it was difficult.
Taehyun stepped forward, big eyes shining. “What’s the last comeback you can remember?” he asked softly, a terror in his tone that Yeonjun had never heard before. Soobin’s expression grew even more confused and he looked at Taehyun briefly before snapping his head back to look at Yeonjun. Yeonjun kept his mouth shut, not trusting himself to say anything.
“Um, E-Eternity, right? Hyung, what’s going on?” He looked at Yeonjun desperately, eyes wide and pleading and so, so confused. There was fear now too, and Yeonjun could see it too in the way Soobin’s breathing sped up and his hand gripped Yeonjun’s even tighter. He was looking at Yeonjun in a way that Yeonjun had only ever seen once before. It was after he became leader and he had a panic attack that he wouldn’t be any good.
It was a look reserved for Yeonjun only, since Yeonjun was the eldest, he was Soobin’s only hyung. He looked at Yeonjun in that way when he was overwhelmed and needed someone else to be in charge if only for a moment. He was at his most vulnerable during these moments he let himself rely on someone else.
Yeonjun decided then to take over, carefully standing and hopping a few times before carefully sitting on the edge of the bed. Soobin was shaking, eyes swivelling around as he looked at everyone. The dongsaengs were remaining silent too, most likely afraid to speak like Yeonjun. He could feel their distressed energy even more the closer he was. He laid his other hand overtop of Soobin’s.
“We were in a car accident—.”
“W-we?”
Yeonjun froze where his mouth was forming around the next word and he quickly closed his mouth and nodded. Soobin’s face crumpled, and despite the missing two years Yeonjun still knew Soobin well enough to predict what he was gonna ask next. The thought comforted him. The true Soobin wasn’t buried too far away, the accident hadn’t taken him fully away from him.
“I’m okay, and you’re okay, except for your memories,” he interrupted, cutting Soobin off before he could speak. Soobin blinked, and then suddenly his eyes filled with tears the same way Yeonjun’s had. He lifted his other hand, the one tangled with IV lines and other equipment, wincing when he moved too clumsily. Both Yeonjun and Beomgyu launched forward to help him, but Beomgyu backed off to let Yeonjun.
Yeonjun gently took Soobin’s clammy hand and steadied it, carefully untangling the wires that were pulling at Soobin’s skin uncomfortably. He kept their palms pressed together as he looked at Soobin. They were closer now, and Yeonjun had never seen so much fear in his eyes before. It made something sharp twist in his gut.
“Today is December 13th, 2022,” Yeonjun continued. He shoved all his own emotions aside to pay full attention to Soobin as he processed the news. “The doctors estimate you’ve lost nearly two and a half years of your memory.”
Yeonjun had never seen Soobin cry more than in the two weeks it took him to return to the dorms. After dropping the news of his amnesia, he was inconsolable for several hours. The doctors called his parents and once they arrived Soobin cried even more. There was absolutely nothing Yeonjun could do except stay by his bedside and hold his hand.
There was debate for a time on whether to send Soobin back to the dorms or back home with his parents, but Soobin vehemently protested any option that separated him from his members. Despite being stuck two years in the past, he claimed he was most comfortable when he was with them. The look he gave Yeonjun made the elder’s knees buckle and it took all of his strength not to pull Soobin into a crushing hug.
By the time Soobin finally arrived back at the dorms, Yeonjun had removed as many of his personal items from Soobin’s room as possible and didn’t allow himself even a second to think about how everything was different now.
Soobin wasn’t his anymore. The Soobin that existed now was just realising his feelings for Yeonjun, and that was assuming the amnesia hadn’t fucked that up too. Yeonjun couldn’t bear to think about the alternative. He would wait for Soobin, just like he waited last time, and he would hope that the boy would come back to him. It wasn't a huge possibility, but it was there. And sometimes, it was the only thing that kept Yeonjun going.
mood: song cry (cover) by choi yeonjun
Soobin adjusted as well as could be expected upon returning to the dorms, and the members and staff took extra care to help his adjustment be as smooth as possible. He was in awe of the new dorms—in his memory he still shared a room with Beomgyu—and he kept bumping into furniture and countertops as he got used to the size of his body. Yeonjun had forgotten how much he had grown in the last two years.
Everyone’s schedules were postponed indefinitely and Bang PDnim himself had visited to let Soobin know that operations wouldn’t resume until he was comfortable. Thankfully, they had only just started learning new choreographies and Soobin had already finished his recordings before the accident, so they had time.
Soobin couldn’t believe their success when they all sat down with him to go over what they had accomplished, and Yeonjun felt himself driven to tears as Soobin mourned the loss of the memories.
As the days went on, and as Soobin learned more and more about the years he had forgotten, Yeonjun found himself acquiring a very familiar role in the boy’s life, but with one huge piece missing.
He was Soobin’s caretaker, he was the one Soobin turned to when he couldn’t stop sobbing, or when he couldn’t remember the name of one of their songs, or when he couldn’t remember how to work his phone. Yeonjun was there, every single time, to hold him and reassure him and promise him that everything was going to be okay.
There was still the gaping hole in Soobin’s mind where Yeonjun existed, and Yeonjun hadn’t found the right way to tell Soobin that they were—and Yeonjun still was—in love with each other.
All evidence of their relationship had been shoved into Yeonjun’s closet, and there was no proof on the internet save for the fan theories. Yeonjun had quite literally erased their relationship, and the emotional toll it was taking on him was building up inside of him.
“You should just tell him, hyung,” Beomgyu said one day. Soobin was with the maknaes, relearning some of their older dances that he still remembered (he wasn’t actually allowed to dance due to his healing injuries, but he could still observe). Yeonjun was sitting in his room and Beomgyu had slipped in only minutes ago.
“How? How do I tell him?” Yeonjun asked, lifting his head to stare at Beomgyu. “‘Hey Soobin, we’ve actually been dating for over a year and are very in love but you don’t remember that so you know, no pressure or anything! But I’m still desperately in love with you so I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do.” He laughed coldly, swiping at his eyes.
Beomgyu moved closer, a heartbroken expression on his face that Yeonjun hated, and he stood up. “He’s alive and he’s with us, that’s all that matters,” he said shakily, grabbing his phone and shoes, bending to put them on. “Hyung, it’s okay for you to be upset. You lost something in the accident too,” he whispered softly.
Yeonjun couldn’t look at him because he knew he’d cry if he did, and he couldn’t cry. He had to be strong. He had to be strong for himself and for Soobin and for the members. “I’m fine, Gyu, go spend time with Soobin, I’m gonna go to the studio for a bit,” he replied. He didn’t wait to see if Beomgyu listened to him, instead walking out of his room to let a staff member know he needed a ride to the studios.
When he arrived, he locked himself in his studio and put his headphones on. He switched on the computer and monitors as well as the microphone and pulled up the song that had been at the top of his playlist since the accident happened. He found the instrumental and adjusted a few settings before standing up straight and taking a few deep breaths in preparation.
Music was the only way he knew how to expression himself sometimes. Most of the time he expressed himself through his dancing, but he wasn’t supposed to dance until he got cleared by his doctors.
He pressed record and then hit play on the instrumental, not caring too much about the quality. He wasn’t recording this for anyone except himself.
As he sang, he felt all the pent-up emotions leave his body with every lyric and it only took seconds for tears to gather behind his eyes. He let his sadness and his anger seep into every note, his hands clenching and his eyes closing as he threw himself into the music. Everything around him faded away except for the beat and his own voice and all of the vivid memories.
All of their memories that now only existed in Yeonjun’s mind.
He collapsed to his knees as soon as the song faded out and his cries were deafening even through the headphones. He held his hands to his chest and let the tears stream down his cheeks as he finally let himself feel everything he had suppressed. Flashes of smiles, sparkling eyes, laughter, the feel of skin against skin, lips pressed against lips, soft whispers in the middle of the night when they were supposed to be asleep, all of it cascaded through Yeonjun’s mind.
He let out an anguished scream, ripping the headphones off and throwing them across the room, not caring where they landed. His hands pulled at his hair as the grief wracked his body, the air around him tightening and suffocating him. He cried until it got too hard to, until he ran out of breath and he opened his eyes.
He felt a little lighter after crying, as if a weight had been lifted off his chest, and he decided that he had cried enough.
He forced himself to take several deep breaths, running his hands through his tangled hair. He wiped the wetness off his cheeks and tried his best to calm down. He stood up on shaky knees and sat down in the desk chair. He saved the audio file and properly closed out of the programs.
He sent the files to his producers and gave them permission to do as they pleased with it, and then he left the studio. He was really tempted to sneak into the dance studios and do a few routines, but he knew better than to disobey his managers.
It smelled like food and home when he got back to the dorms, and he really hoped the redness and puffiness in his face had gone down on the ride back. He didn’t really want to have to explain what had happened.
Soobin was the first one to see him, and it only took a split-second for Yeonjun to know that Soobin knew he had been crying. The younger’s face fractured, his stitches on his forehead crinkling, and he approached Yeonjun quickly but carefully. Yeonjun could feel his heart twisting and the emotions he had just let out threatening to build up again as he gave Soobin a forced smile.
“Hey Soobinie,” he greeted, voice thick. Soobin didn’t return the smile, his look of concern deepening instead. “Are you okay?” he asked. Yeonjun immediately nodded, but before he could even bob his head once Soobin was pulling him into his arms for a hug.
Yeonjun had hugged Soobin countless times since the accident, but Soobin had never hugged him. Yeonjun tensed as he felt Soobin’s arms wrap around him, just as strong as before, and Yeonjun’s mind and body couldn’t handle it. He squeezed his eyes shut against the tears and hugged Soobin back, trying to ignore the memories flying through his head.
He unlocked his arms from where they had froze at his sides and hugged Soobin back, turning to rest his cheek against his shoulder. He felt Soobin tense up for the briefest moment, but he quickly relaxed, running a large hand over Yeonjun’s back.
They separated and Yeonjun met Soobin’s eyes with a genuine smile this time. “I needed that, thank you,” he admonished softly, reaching up to pat Soobin’s cheek. Soobin had a strange look in his eyes, like he wasn’t fully present, but Yeonjun didn’t have the chance to ask him if he was okay before the other members yelled at them to come eat before it got cold. If they noticed their exchange, they said nothing.
Soobin trailed behind Yeonjun as they went into the lounge, sitting down at the table which was full of food. It was all Yeonjun and Soobin’s favourites, and Yeonjun gave Taehyun an extra long hug for the consideration. As they began to eat, Yeonjun couldn’t help but notice that Soobin still had a faraway look in his eyes, as if he was contemplating something, and he was quick to look away every time Yeonjun met his eyes.
After they finished eating, Soobin disappeared down the hallway, and Yeonjun debated whether or not to go talk to him as he helped the dongsaengs clean up. When everything was put up or thrown away Yeonjun excused himself and went down the hall to Soobin’s room.
mood: STUCKINMYBRAIN by chase atlantic
He knocked on Soobin’s door, pushing it open as soon as he heard a grunt. Soobin was sitting on his bed with a troubled look on his face, and it only grew more troubled as he saw Yeonjun. “Oh, hi hyung,” he mumbled as Yeonjun closed the door and went to sit on the bed in front of Soobin.
“Does something hurt?” Yeonjun asked, keeping his hands in his lap. Soobin bit his lip, blowing air out through his nostrils before he shook his head. Yeonjun waited, but when Soobin didn’t elaborate he moved a little closer. “Something is obviously bothering you. You can tell me, I can help maybe, if it’s something you can’t remember or—.”
“I think I remembered something.”
Yeonjun’s eyes popped out of their sockets and he instantly felt his blood turn to ice. His anxiety spiked to near panic but he hoped that none of his reactions were noticeable to Soobin. It could be anything. He could’ve remembered any number of things. Yeonjun knew better than to get his hopes up, and yet.
“Oh?” he replied, voice surprisingly steady. He curled his hands into fists to keep himself grounded, and Soobin still wouldn’t look at him. But he did nod, messing with the hem of his sheets. “I’m not sure if it’s real though,” he replied.
Yeonjun bit his lip, trying to rapidly figure out what to say next. “Why don’t you think it’s real?” he asked. Soobin exhaled, his ears turning red. Yeonjun’s heart beat even faster, the air in the room suddenly thick with tension.
“Hyung, if I ask you a question, do you promise to answer honestly?” he asked, finally looking Yeonjun in the eye. Yeonjun swallowed but nodded. Soobin nodded back, dropping his eyes again. It took a few moments, and Yeonjun felt like he was going to burst at the seams with every passing second. His brain ran through a kaleidoscope of possible questions, always returning to the one that would have the most implications.
Soobin took a deep breath, and then spoke.
“Were we together?”
And there it was.
Yeonjun looked up, saw Soobin already staring at him, a layered fear to his gaze that struck Yeonjun to his core. His mouth went completely dry and it felt disembodied when he answered.
“Yes.”
Soobin immediately teared up, nodding quickly and looking away again, this time turning his whole torso so that Yeonjun couldn’t see any of his face. It scared Yeonjun, and he jolted a little, standing quickly. “W-We don’t have to be together now, Soobin-ah, I don’t h-have any expectations and I don’t want you to w-worry about anything,” he rushed, wringing his hands together as the anxiety built up in his veins.
The words hurt as he said them, the knife that had been lodged in his heart since the accident twisting even deeper. He had always been told that love hurt, but he never could’ve imagined something like this.
Soobin was silent for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper. “I remember us.”
Yeonjun went silent too, his heart pounding in his ears and his own tears forming a lump in his throat. “I remembered something when I hugged you, it was really bright but you were smiling and laughing, and you told me you loved me,” he continued.
This was too much. Yeonjun couldn’t do this.
“I remember having a crush on you, I remembered that as soon as I woke up and you were next to me at the hospital,” Soobin went on. Yeonjun stayed frozen to the spot. “I couldn’t understand why, but I could tell that something was different between us. It was like if I moved, you moved. It’s still that way.”
He looked up then, turned and met Yeonjun’s eyes. His were red-rimmed with tears. “We were together,” he repeated, pained. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Yeonjun opened his mouth to respond, realised he didn’t know what to say, and closed it again. Soobin waited patiently, staring at Yeonjun as a few tears dripped down his cheeks, and Yeonjun felt like he was going to pass out from all the overwhelming emotions crashing over him.
“I was afraid if I told you you’d feel obligated to be with me even though y-you didn’t remember,” he replied honestly.
Soobin blinked at him, a serious look decorating his features. Yeonjun almost felt intimidated. “Hyung, I’ve wanted to be with you since I met you. The amnesia didn’t take that away from me.”
Yeonjun lost control of his tears at that. They spilled over his cheeks and he flinched when he felt them hit his hands as they fell. Soobin stood up then, walking closer to Yeonjun. He was still awkward in his movements, still shy, but he managed to take both of Yeonjun’s hands in his. Both of their hands were shaking, but neither of them mentioned it.
“I’m so sorry, hyung, I’m so sorry for leaving you like that,” he breathed.
When Yeonjun’s knees buckled, Soobin was there to catch him. He pulled him up with strong arms and sat them both back down on the bed. He enveloped Yeonjun into a tight embrace and Yeonjun let his body dissolve into Soobin’s.
He cried into his chest without shame. Soobin held him through it, and Yeonjun’s mind couldn’t keep up with it all. He simply stopped thinking and let Soobin comfort him. It took several minutes for him to regain his composure, but when he did, his anxiety made itself known again.
He gulped nervously, pulling back to stare at Soobin. The younger stared back at him, more composed than him, and reached up a hand to touch Yeonjun’s cheek. “I-I’m going to have to get used to b-being with you,” he whispered, cheeks flushing red with shyness.
Yeonjun gave him a gentle smile. “I can fix all the mistakes I made last time,” he replied, lightening the mood. Soobin snorted, lowering his gaze. His hands rested on Yeonjun’s waist and as Yeonjun relaxed he felt an immense happiness light up inside him.
“I never stopped loving you, by the way,” he said, sharpening his gaze just a little. Soobin’s face turned bright red, and he squeezed Yeonjun’s sides. “You have all of our memories now. I’m afraid that I w-won’t be able to love you as well as I used to b-because of that,” he confessed.
Yeonjun lifted his hand to cup Soobin’s cheek, turning his head until their eyes met. “I don’t think love is made up of memories.”
“What is it made up of then?”
“Just you and me.”
Soobin’s arms twitched as his body instinctively reacted to Yeonjun’s words. His body remembers me. Yeonjun gave him a soft smile, thumb stroking across his cheekbone. “Can I kiss you?” he asked.
He felt a nostalgic thrill run through him as he saw Soobin’s whole face all the way up to his ears turned a flushing crimson and he couldn’t help but giggle. It reminded him so much of, well, the Soobin from two years ago that he couldn’t believe he was going to get to experience falling in love with him all over again.
“You’d be my f-first kiss, I haven’t—I mean I have, but I can’t remember—.”
“Baby,” Yeonjun chuckled, effectively cutting Soobin off. The poor boy looked almost strangled for a moment at the pet name. Yeonjun couldn’t seem to focus on any one part of him, his mind and heart going haywire. “Can I kiss you?” he asked again with a smile, voice a little shaky this time.
Soobin swallowed, hands in a death grip around Yeonjun’s waist, and nodded. Yeonjun did his best to push down his own all-encompassing feelings and closed his eyes. He leaned forward and as soon as he felt Soobin’s lips against his he was home.
The younger gasped into it, nearly yanking Yeonjun against him. It was unlike any other kiss they had shared, even better than their first first one. That’s gonna get confusing.
The sheer pure emotion that was running between the two of them was almost intoxicating, an aphrodisiac of the highest caliber. Yeonjun was back in Soobin’s arms, and he loved him, and Soobin loved him back.
He kissed Soobin harder and as he did, he felt the last of the fear and anxiety and stress leave his body. He had Soobin. And he vowed in that moment to do whatever it took to make sure that he never lost him again.