Work Text:
"So, you are in love with Batman."
"... It is a lot more complicated than that."
"Then care to explain why you are writing romantic cards for him? Seems pretty simple to me."
How to argue against that implacable logic?
Newly-renamed 'Edward Nashton', after he changed his birth name on his identity papers and settled for this appellation, let out a deep sigh.
Watching over seven-year-old Stephanie Brown, the daughter of his biggest fan and one of the rare followers he met face-to-face, who helped him organize his grand scheme, featured nowhere in his plans for today. He half-regretted he agreed to give a hand to Arthur, come to his house and babysit his child when the blond man faced an emergency. His wife Crystal was not home and Art had no one else to call... so he asked a service from Eddie. Whom, against all odds, accepted.
He truly is too much of a good Samaritan.
Sure, the little girl doesn't know anything about neither Riddler nor the true nature of her father and him's 'bond', she simply believes they are work acquaintances.
At least she is smart, much more than standard kids her age. So, albeit jaded, Ed was not bored while conversing with her in her living room, both sitting on the old cracked couch.
Sharp cleverness coupled to her smug remarks even make Steph a delightful company in his opinion, although he... doesn't really know how to behave around children. Even if he grew up in an orphanage, he constantly stayed as far away as he could from other boys and girls forced to share his miserable daily life at the cursed establishment.
Right now however... whereas in the middle of an unusual situation, Edward decided to play along when Stephanie asked to see what he was writing.
"What do you think of this one? This should be... my introduction..."
Entirely focused on the piece of colored paper, Stephie frowned in an adorable manner when he showed her a proto-version of his initial love letter.
"It is far too much," the blue-eyed girl shook her head no then judged in a boastful, categorical tone. "You will scare Batman off if you send such a heated declaration before reaching out to him! You need to learn how to be patient, in order to properly court your crush. Otherwise you will get... dumped before your relationship even begins!"
Eddie glanced at his first version of a text, distressed.
"You... really think so?"
"Of course! But worry not... I will coach you!" Stephanie flashed him a bright Cheshire cat smirk. "Thanks to my priceless chatting abilities and my outstanding sense of style, I will make a decent boyfriend out of you! I guarantee your dark prince charming will fall in love after I'm done with you."
"... Wonderful," he concluded, a hint sarcastic.
Still, Eddie had so much fun listening to Steph's dedicated recommendations.
And, indeed, he observed her directives for the cards.