Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Showtime!” Tsukasa declared with his usual amount of bravado. 

Today was the day of the final show of the summer competition at Phoenix Wonderland. The four of them had just finished their final pre-show rehearsal on the stage, and the audience was beginning to fill up the seats. There was an excited buzz throughout the crowd. Nene’s heart beat nervously in anticipation of the long awaited performance. She stood near the edge of the stage, watching the seats fill and people chatter amongst themselves. The four of them went to take their places for the show.

“Everybody, wait! Before we start the show, I have something I want to say,” Tsukasa told his fellow cast members. Nene turned towards center stage to face him. Emu came bouncing over at his call and Rui soon followed suit. They all looked at Tsukasa expectantly. 

 “I think Nene should sit this one out. After all, we don’t really need her to put on the show. It’s clear her heart isn’t in it, and it would be a much better performance without her dragging us down. Don’t you guys agree?”

Nene froze in her tracks at his words, and time seemed to flow to a halt. The theme park attractions around her powered down and ceased to function. She turned her head frantically to see what was happening. A power outage? No… Looking down off the stage, she saw that the entire audience was frozen, looking at her. Staring with dead eyes. Panic rose up in her chest. What’s going on?
“I-idiot. That’s not funny.” Nene let out a nervous chuckle, turning back around to Tsukasa. 

“Hmm, you might be right though...” Nene whipped her head to the left to stare at the short cheerful girl by her side. The girl then continued to speak as though Nene wasn’t even there.

“Nene just never seems happy anymore. We can’t let her bring everyone down! And what if she forgets her lines again?” 

Emu? The girl’s tone carried an amount of honesty that Nene found alarming. This person looked like the Emu she remembered, but the words coming out of her mouth were unrecognizable.

“Hey Emu-chan, that’s not like you.” Nene felt herself growing smaller, shrinking further and further into herself.

Only one person had yet to respond to Tsukasa’s announcement. She turned to her right towards the lilac-haired boy, not wanting to meet his eye.

“Rui?” She squeaked.

He walked a few steps closer to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, as if to comfort her, and she smiled. There was no way Rui would ever agree with them. 

But then she looked up into his menacing, cat-like grin. It was almost as if he was looking through her.

“I agree, Tsukasa.” The words pierced her heart.

“Rui, you don’t mean that,” she begged, her voice shaking.

Rui’s grip on her tightened. “You think I like performing shows with a pathetic singer like you who can’t even act or speak? I’m tired of pretending.”

“Stop,” she covered her ears with her hands, and could barely form the words.Tears started spilling without warning, and she knew how pathetic she must look, but she couldn’t stop. “Please, Rui. Please stop .” 

But he didn’t listen. “We don’t need you. You don’t deserve to be here. You don’t deserve to perform at all. You’re unnecessary.”

And with one swift motion, he shoved her off the stage.

With a sharp gasp she was falling, and the world around her melted away into nothingness. She closed her eyes, giving herself over to the darkness and letting herself drift far, far away from everyone she knew.

It would be better for everyone if I just disappeared.  

She let the thought grow and fill up her mind as she kept falling further down, down into darkness for what felt like hours until she landed upon the hard ground. The air went quiet and still. She opened her eyes and looked around at the new landscape she had been transported to. There was nothing around her. 

“Where…am I?”

This place reminded her of their Wonderland Sekai, except it was desolate. Gone were the bright lights and carnival sounds and fantastical chaos. Instead, there were various mechanical bits of broken-down theme park attractions or booths, all run-down and unused, scattered across a flat, unending landscape with not a person in sight. An Empty Wonderland. All of it gray, colorless, dull. A quiet hum was the only sound other than her own breathing. But it wasn’t uncomfortable here, despite it all. 

“H-hello?” She called out. “Is anyone there?”

“Welcome Nene,” a robotic voice replied.

Startled, Nene whipped her body around to face the voice. “Miku?”
The virtual singer standing before her was almost unrecognizable at first glance. If the Wonderland Miku that Nene had come to know and love was like Emu, in her bursting enthusiasm and relentless energy and optimism, then this Miku was like…

Nene took a minute to observe her. The colorless dress. The long gray hair and bangs. The short, direct way of speaking. The lack of emotional affect. The dull, lifeless eyes. 

She held up her hand and Miku mirrored the motion, pressing her hand against her own. 

Then perhaps this Miku was like her. 

This was her own colorless sekai.

Nene woke up in a cold sweat, shooting upright into a sitting position. Just a dream. It was all a dream. She took a shaky breath to try and calm her racing heart. My friends would never say things like that…Right? Using her sleeve, she wiped away the wetness beginning to blur her vision.

But she couldn’t shake the thoughts from her mind. They had been surfacing more and more often lately, to the point that they kept recurring in her dreams. They don’t really need me to make a good show. I’m just a burden to them. Her three closest friends made up an ideal performing team on their own, after all. Tsukasa was a perfect lead actor (though she would never admit it to his face), Emu’s joyful antics always managed to captivate the audience, and Rui…

Unwillingly, she felt her face grow hot. Much to her chagrin, such a reaction had been occurring more and more often when she thought of him. Rui, whose brilliant mind, unthinkable creativity, and countless inventions made him an eccentric dreamer who could bring a smile to anyone’s face with his shows. Rui, who was finally in his element and happy, like she had wished him to be for so long. Rui, who deserved the world. 

Rui, who doesn’t need me anymore.  

Nene hated the painful twinge in her chest.

And that sekai, it felt so…real. This was her first time seeing such a place. Despite its appearance, it had been calm and peaceful, and she wanted to go back. Maybe a place like that was where she truly belonged. Not some magical theme park. But some place far and distant from all her crazy extroverted friends. Some place that seemed to externalize the feelings she couldn’t bring herself to share. 

Forcing her mind back to the real world, Nene grabbed her phone off her nightstand to check the date and time. Saturday, July 1st. 10 in the morning. Their final show was still a couple weeks away. She breathed a sigh of relief.

Pushing the dream out of her mind, she hopped out of bed. If she didn’t hurry, she was going to be late for rehearsal.

Chapter Text

Despite her best efforts, Nene didn’t quite make it to rehearsal on time. She jogged through the park and made her way through the security check-in and into the Wonder Stage area, smoothing down her shirt and fixing her hair as she finally arrived.

“Nene! You’re late! We were just about to start rehearsal,” Tsuakasa called out to her upon her entrance. Her three fellow castmates were up on the stage. Tsukasa and Emu appeared to be rehearsing their dialogue, while Rui was making some final adjustments with Robo-nene. 

“Sorry…” she stared at the ground. “Overslept.”

“Don’t worry Nene-chan, we were waiting for you!” Emu flashed Nene a big smile, and Nene felt herself ease a bit. Hopefully being late hadn’t slowed them down too much. 

Tsukasa motioned for her to come join them, and Nene made her way up onto the stage. Rui flashed her a smile by way of a greeting as she walked past him, but then returned to his tinkering.

Their show, a musical which Rui had written for their summer competition, involved a prince (Tsukasa) on a journey to save a mermaid princess (Nene) who had been trapped in her underwater castle by her father, the mermaid king (Rui). The prince was aided on his perilous quest by a talking seahorse (Emu) who begged him to help save the princess. The prince, a human, ends up giving up his humanity to become a merman after falling in love with the mermaid princess and wishing to remain with her. The show was Rui’s own personal twist on The Little Mermaid , which they had all approved of. 

Since the mermaid princess was trapped for most of the show, she didn’t have a huge part, but she did have a solo song at the end, as well as a duet with the prince where they professed their love for each other. Nene knew her lines (she had practiced them tirelessly), but for some reason found herself unable to inject any enthusiasm into her performance. She wasn’t at her best, and she knew it. Halfway through a line she stopped, unable to continue. She froze, and her lips began to quiver. Why am I here? I’m only slowing them down.

“Nene-chan?” Emu looked up at the girl, her wide eyes full of concern instead of cheer. “What’s wrong?”

“I-I have a big test coming up, and I’m just a little stressed,” she lied, wiping her eyes before the tears could take form. “I’m sorry. We can keep going.”

Concerned but ultimately trusting their friend, Emu and Tsukasa nodded and continued the practice. Nene managed to continue though her voice shook a bit. After a minute or two, she got it back under control, though her acting remained lackluster. 

Once they finally reached the end of the play, the last thing they had to rehearse was the duet between her and Tsukasa where the prince and the mermaid confess their love for each other. 

As she was singing her part, her mind began to wander. Why is it always Tsukasa playing the prince? Why is it always him I’m professing my love to? When I… She cast a spare glance at Rui.

No! It wasn’t the time or place for such thoughts. If she wanted to be a professional actress, then she had to actually… well, act . Even if the feelings weren’t real, she needed to be able to convince the audience of them. But still… Without warning, an image of Rui dressed as a dashing prince that had come to save her popped into her mind, and her face began to flush. She shook her head to clear her thoughts, and managed to finish the song. 

And with the end of the song came the end of rehearsal. While Nene hadn’t been off-key during her musical numbers, there was no denying that she hadn’t been able to put her heart in them. She could sense Tsukasa’s thinly-veiled disappointment, causing something inside her to twist into a knot.

“I’m sorry…I know today wasn’t my best,” Nene admitted.

Tsukasa gave a hearty laugh and slapped her on the back. “It’s alright, we all have our off days as actors, Nene. I’m sure with a good night’s sleep, you’ll be back at your best tomorrow!”

She smiled weakly, as she didn’t have the energy to tease him. She knew he was just trying to cheer her up in his own Tsukasa way, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was never at her best anymore. 

I’m just slowing them down.

“Are you alright, Nene?” Finally catching onto the situation, Rui came over to her and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Without thinking, Nene flinched at his touch.

Rui automatically withdrew his hand. 

A sharp pang of guilt stung in her chest when Nene looked up and saw the hurt in Rui’s eyes that he tried to hide with a smile. Nene hadn’t meant to pull away, but she couldn't help but remember her dream from last night, and how real it felt. A hand gripping her shoulder tightly. Being shoved off the stage. That wasn’t him. Rui wouldn’t do that to me. She tried desperately to remind herself.  

“Y-yeah, I’m alright. Just feeling a bit off today. That’s all. Ahaha…” Nene said. She knew and hated how fake the words sounded.

“Oh, oh I know!” Emu clapped her hands together. “Let’s go talk to Miku! I’m sure she’ll know what to do. She can help get Nene back in tippy-top acting shape!”

Tsukasa and Rui agreed with Emu. Hesitantly, Nene nodded. This was the chance to prove her dream wrong. She belonged to Wonderland Sekai along with the rest of her acting troupe. Right? 

Tsukasa pressed the button on his phone, and the landscape around them dissolved into bright white before repainting the sky in a myriad of colors. 

It didn’t take long for them to stumble across Miku, who came running over when she saw them. 

“Hello, everyone! Welcome back!” 

Nene took in Miku’s appearance as well as the wonderland around them—everything was peppy and bright, just like usual. Yep, this is the Miku I know. That other sekai was just a dream, nothing more.

Nene wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed by this revelation.

“I’m so glad you came to visit! Got something on your mind?” Miku asked, and they looked at each other nervously.

“Well, Nene-chan’s not feeling well and her acting isn't very good today. We thought you would know how to help!” 

Emu wasn’t wrong, but her unintentional bluntness stung a bit.

“Right!” Tsukasa added. “We wanted to know if you had some professional tips to help Nene feel better and get her acting skills back to normal.” 

Rui remained silent as he watched them, like he was still assessing the situation from a distance in his mind and trying to come up with a solution.

“Hmm,” Miku looked at Nene for a minute, gauging her posture and expression, and then came over to her. Nene remembered the way the mysterious other Miku had mirrored her in her dream.

Miku frowned. “Nene, what’s wrong? Why do you think you were off today?”

“Well, I…” She knew why, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to say it. 

Because I realized that I will never be good enough for them. Because I’m the weak link, and they’re better off without me. 

Nene tried again. “I-It’s not just today, I’m always…” I’m always slowing them down. I’m not good enough. But she couldn’t speak the words. Her voice caught in her chest like it used to every time she was on stage, and the thoughts began to strangle her. Her eyes began welling up.

I’m just a burden to them. They don’t need me.

Suddenly, the ground under their feet began to rumble and shake. One of the floating attractions came crashing down, and then another one followed suit.

No one needs me.

“What’s going on?” Emu said. Frightened, the pink-haired girl clung onto Tsukasa’s arm as they stared at the deteriorating landscape. Rui looked almost fascinated by the floating attractions that lost their color and shut down—being more interested in the change of physics than afraid of being hurt.

“This world is shaped by your emotions,” Miku commented. “So it could be reacting to a change in someone’s feelings.”

Her friends looked at each other hesitantly, and she caught them giving her a quick glance.

It’s my fault. Their world is crumbling because of me. 

Tsukasa yelped when a piece of debris landed on the ground beside him, narrowly missing him.

I’m destroying their wonderland.

“Miku!” Nene cried out. She couldn’t take any more of this. “Take us back. Please .” 

Miku nodded, and with a flash of bright light the four of them were once again standing in front of their Wonder Stage in the real world.

Emu, Tsukasa, and Rui caught their breath as the scare passed, and their world was once again solid and steady. Festive music filled the air and the attractions around them were all lit up and running.

Only Nene was still trembling. She couldn’t help it, her limbs were shaking of their own accord. It was as if all her worst fears had come to light. Her dream was right. 

I don’t belong with them. 

All of their gazes turned to her.

“Nene-chan…” Emu took Nene’s hands in her own soft and tiny ones. “Do you not want to perform with us anymore?” The small girl looked up at Nene with wide, saddened eyes. Like a puppy just learning that its owner was about to leave. Rui and Tsukasa stood on either side of Emu and awaited Nene’s reply, both of their faces creased in concern.
No, that’s not it. 

“What? Of course I do, I just—” Words failed her.

I want to perform, but I don't deserve to. You don’t need me.

Overwhelmed by the previous events and unsure how to reply, the world began spinning around her. Her chest tightened until she couldn’t take another breath. Fighting to hang on, she placed a hand on her chest and tried to calm down. C’mon. Inhale. Exhale. Slowly.

She felt Rui’s hand on her back supporting her as her balance faltered, but she quickly shook him off. She couldn’t think about him right now. She kept her eyes trained on the ground, mentally blocking out her surroundings, until she could finally catch her breath.

“I-I’m not feeling very well. I need to go. I’m sorry.” Without looking any of them in the eye, Nene took off running back towards her home, ignoring the concern in her friends’ voices as they called out after her.

Chapter Text

Nene tossed aside her game console and buried her face in her pillow. She could only distract herself for so long before her thoughts began eating away at her. Yesterday’s events replayed on a miserable loop in her mind. She had ruined their rehearsal, and even destroyed their wonderland. I’m nothing but a burden to them.

“If only that place in my dream was real,” she murmured aloud. That’s what she needed right now. A quiet place where she could be alone and think, without placing any sort of burden on her friends. She grabbed her phone off her bedside table and began to scroll through various apps mindlessly until something strange caught her attention.

“Hm… Untitled? But that’s not…” That’s not possible , she wanted to say, because the song which had once been called that was her gateway to their Wonderland Sekai. But this was an entirely new song. Could it be…?

She paused, and then, with nothing to lose, tapped the play button, shutting her eyes as she was momentarily blinded by a strong flash of white light. 

When she opened her eyes, her vision gradually adjusted until she was sure of where she was. A quiet gray land stretched out endlessly in front of her, the dismantled and run-down remains of amusement park attractions scattered about, all too eerily reminiscent of yesterday. There was a silence that hummed and reverberated, making her feel calm and at peace.

Nene turned her head and saw Miku—the gloomy, gray-haired Miku—by her side. But Nene wasn’t startled by her presence this time—only comforted.

“Is this… Am I dreaming?” She asked carefully.

“This is not a dream, Nene. This is your sekai.” Miku told her. 

“My sekai…” Nene said aloud, and the words felt strange in her mouth. Her Miku had explained to her before that their Wonderland Sekai was created by Tsukasa, but the four of them were able to go there due to their strong shared feelings of wanting to put on the best show. She began to walk around and explore the strange new landscape.

“But it’s not the Wonderland Sekai that I’m used to…” Nene noted, as she bent to examine the broken-down remains of what once must’ve been an amusement park attraction. “What is this place?” 

Miku tilted her head, quietly thinking. “Think of this place like a bridge.”

“What do you mean?”

“Right now, your feelings have changed, Nene. Though you still share a connection with your friends in the Wonderland Sekai, you’ve also connected with the feelings of someone in a different sekai.”

“Another sekai?” Nene asked curiously. How many were there? She was grateful that she was able to come here, but there was so much she wanted to know.

“Though she has asked me not to reveal her identity, she has allowed you to share this space with her. This sekai acts as a bridge between your Wonderland Sekai and her Empty Sekai. This world of yours resides in-between the two, reflecting your current feelings.” 

“So…” An alarming thought popped into Nene’s mind as she reflected once again on yesterday’s events. “If I continue to enter the regular Wonderland Sekai, will it keep falling apart until it looks like this?”

Miku nodded. “I believe so. But, it should work both ways. If you were to enter the truly Empty Sekai, pieces of an amusement park may begin to form as well. This neutral middle ground is a world of your own.”

Nene took a minute to think this over. She made a mental note to stay away from Wonderland Sekai for a while, before she caused any more damage. Nene wondered who had created the Empty Sekai, but that person had asked Miku to conceal her identity, so perhaps it was best not to pry. Regardless, Nene was pleased that such a place existed and she was allowed to be here. Maybe Nene could even meet the person one day to express her gratitude. Then another question popped into her mind. 

“Can my friends come here?” Nene asked.

“Only if they share your feelings,” Miku replied.

Then the answer is no. And Nene was strangely comforted by the thought. This place was for her, and her alone.

“What else is on your mind?” Miku asked, curious. “What brings you to this sekai, Nene?”

“Well…” Nene hesitated, and began clutching at the bottom of her sleeve.

Miku walked over to one of the run-down benches and patted the space beside her. Nene followed and took a seat.

Something about the atmosphere was calming to her, and made her want to open up to Miku. Where do I even begin? Nene took a deep breath, and began to speak. 

“My friends… are amazing. I perform with them at an amusement park called Phoenix Wonderland, where we put on all kinds of crazy shows. But, maybe you already knew that…”

Nene looked at Miku to gauge her reaction thus far, but Miku just sat quietly, listening and waiting for Nene to finish. Nene continued.

“I-I love them so much.” Her voice faltered. “And I’m grateful to have them, but… I don’t think they really need me to put on our shows. I’m just slowing them down and getting in the way. They’re better off without me. All of them are so happy and carefree, and then there’s me, the cynic, who just drags them down. I just can’t force myself to be as happy and outgoing as they are…” Nene wiped her eyes with her sleeve, and tried to keep her voice steady.

Miku asked a question to help keep Nene grounded. There was a hint of curiosity in the virtual singer’s near expressionless face. “Describe them for me. Your friends.”

“W-Well,” Nene stared at the gray ground under them, fidgeting with the end of her sleeve. “There’s Emu, who’s always happy and maybe a little crazy, but she never fails to make everyone smile. And Tsukasa, our lead actor, who has a ridiculous ego, but always puts on the best performances, and… really isn’t that bad of a guy, after all. And our stage director, who also writes most of our plays, is Rui…” Her voice caught in her throat.

“Rui?” Miku asked, curious.

Nene’s face flushed, despite her best wishes, and a small spark of joy returned to her tone. “Rui is… Well, he’s incredible. He’s unbelievably creative, and he dedicates everything he has to performing the best show possible. He creates things that shouldn’t even be possible. I’ve known him since we were kids, and I’m just really grateful to have him in my life again.”

A hint of a knowing smile traced Miku’s face.

“But he deserves so much better than me, so much more…” She trailed off, her voice wavering and growing quieter. “They all do.”

“Have you told them you’ve been feeling this way?”

“No…” Her voice was barely a whisper.

Miku thought for a moment, then said, “Perhaps if you told them how you were feeling, you could—”

“No!” She blurted, frantic, her chest tightening. “I-I can’t tell them. I just can’t. I haven’t been able to share this with anyone… Except for you now, I guess… The atmosphere here is so peaceful, I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Nene.” Miku placed a gentle hand on Nene’s shoulder. “Thank you for sharing with me. Please remember that you are always welcome to come here if you need to.” 

Nene breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m glad we were able to talk, but now it’s probably best if you head back for today,” Miku told her.

“Huh?”

Is my time up? Is there even a time limit on these kinds of things? It was hard to tell, but Nene thought she saw a slight smile on Miku’s face.

“I think you have a visitor.”

A gentle knock on her bedroom door, and Nene bolted upright in her bed, now fully awake and back in the real world.

“Nene? Are you in there?”

Rui. Her face began to heat up upon merely hearing his voice. Her mom had probably let him in, but Nene still didn’t want to face him after yesterday’s events. 

She heard a hand on the doorknob and panicked, before remembering she had locked her bedroom door already. Sure enough, the doorknob shook, but would not turn. She breathed a sigh of relief. Her room was a mess, and she couldn’t bear to have him see her like this.

“Are you all right? I know our last rehearsal was rough for you, and I wanted to check and see how you’re doing.” The genuine concern made her stomach hurt, but she said nothing and tried to remain silent, slinking down further under the sheets of her bed. It wasn’t like she wanted to avoid him, but she still didn’t have the courage to face him.

She heard rustling, as if with a plastic bag.

“I know you said you weren’t feeling well yesterday, so I brought you some soup. I'll leave it by your door, so eat it if you feel hungry, okay?”

Her stomach twisted again at his generosity, and she felt the need to speak up before her guilt began to dig in too deeply. “Since when do you cook?”

There was a gentle laugh, and Nene found her face heating up. 

“Ah, so you are in there somewhere. My mother made it—I know you’re a fan of her cooking, and I didn’t want to risk making you feel worse with one of my disastrous home-cooked meals.”

“Oh…” She was a fan of his mom’s cooking. As a child, she often went over to Rui’s house for dinner. Freshly cooked meals that made her mouth water, sharing stories and laughing with Rui and his family—those were some of her favorite memories. “The one with the chicken dumplings in it?”

“Yes, just as you like it.”

“Thanks.” She squirmed in her bed. Why is he being so nice to me? I don’t deserve his kindness…especially after I ruined everything yesterday.

“Nene,” his voice grew softer. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

She grew silent, staring at the door separating them. There’s so much I want to tell him, but I can’t. She had a sudden urge to see his face, but found herself unable to open the door. I can’t burden him like that. She clutched at the sheets of her bed. He’s better off without me.

Finally, she whispered a quiet, “I know.”

“Okay. I’ll see you at school tomorrow then. Have a good night, Nene.”

“Goodnight.”

Once she heard his footsteps fade out and the heavy thud of the front door being shut, Nene cracked open the door of her bedroom and tentatively reached for the container by her door. She didn’t have much of an appetite, but she cracked open the lid anyway. The warm, savory aroma flooded her senses. She was immediately transported back to those dinners with Rui and his family, with all of them laughing and chatting together. Back to her sunny childhood, when the two of them made up shows and performed just for themselves. When they could smile and laugh together, and nothing else mattered.

Things were so much simpler then.  

She stared down at the bowl of soup in her hands and found herself unable to stop silent tears from drifting down her cheeks.

Chapter Text

Nene did not, in fact, see Rui at school the next day. She didn’t see anyone, as she found herself unable to get out of bed. She was tired, sure, but more to the heart of the matter was the fact that she didn’t see the point in getting up. It was almost as if the dull grayness of her sekai had begun to leak into the real world. She told her mom she was sick and then rolled around under the covers of her warm bed, trying and failing to fall asleep, or mindlessly playing a game on her Switch. Her chest tightened with guilt each time she checked her phone.

Emu Ootori

Nene-chan! Are you feeling better? :( See you at practice later!! :D 

Tsukasa Tenma

Nene!!! Don’t forget our practice today! 

We’re looking forward to seeing our diva back in action!

Rui Kamishiro 

Nene, how are you feeling today? Better? Hope you liked the soup.

We missed you at practice today.

I’m here if you need me.

She put her phone face down on her nightstand, as tears filled her eyes. For some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to reply. They should just forget about her. Things are better this way. She tried to convince herself it was the truth.

Her troupe had rehearsal after school on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, but Nene couldn’t bring herself to go to those either. She knew she should, but she didn’t see the point in dragging them down anymore. Nene made frequent visits to her sekai instead, and sometimes she brought her script with her so that she could go over her lines. If she couldn’t bring herself to practice with them, she at least wanted to practice on her own, or with Miku’s help. Nene knew how important their final performance was, so she continued to prepare for it in her own way, if nothing else.

Although sometimes, halfway through a song or a line, she’d just stop, unable to continue—despite Miku’s curious stare. Something was missing. Rehearsing her lines and singing felt more like a chore than anything else.

I used to love doing this. I still love doing this. Right? 

She knew she did, but for some reason she couldn’t remember why. 

Before she knew it, it was Friday, and her mother forced her to return to school. Nene knew she should go as there was a big math test she couldn’t miss that day, but part of her wanted to stay at home forever. To stay in her new sekai forever, even. She didn’t want to see anyone anymore. But, of course that wasn’t possible. So she dragged herself out of bed and got dressed.

Nene kept her head down as she wandered the halls between classes. It was almost inevitable that she would run into someone she knew, but she didn’t have the energy to talk to anyone right now, so she simply kept to herself, trying to take up as little space as possible.

Unfortunately, since she wasn’t looking at where she was going, this led to her accidentally colliding with someone on her way to class. She mumbled an apology and tried to continue on her way, until—

“Nene?”

She looked up right into the golden eyes of the one person she had feared seeing the most. A strong impulse to simply rest her head against his chest and fall into his warm embrace came over her, but she fought it off.

“R-Rui…” She immediately dropped her gaze back to the ground. That brief moment of eye contact had already sent her face aflame and made her heart feel like it was going to burst. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to him. It was that she couldn’t. Not at this moment, anyway. 

“Sorry, I have to go.” She immediately tried to run away, but Rui grabbed her arm and she stopped in her tracks.

“Nene, we’re worried about you. You haven’t been coming to practices lately and no one’s seen you at school.”

“I…” She pulled her arm away from his grip, but didn’t try to leave. “I’m fine. I've just been busy.” She couldn’t look him in the eye as her chest tightened. “I’ve been practicing my lines on my own.”

Rui said nothing but pursed his lips in quiet consideration, his eyes scanning her with worry. He reached out and put a hand under her chin, tilting her gaze upwards so he could get a good look at her face. The suddenness of his touch startled her, but she put up no resistance to it. She forced herself to look elsewhere—staring at the water fountain, at the students passing by, at anywhere except his face. She was convinced he must be able to hear her heartbeat from how loudly it was pounding.

Rui’s face fell upon examining her. He moved his hand up against her face and gently traced the curve of her cheek with his thumb. Without meaning to, Nene’s gaze flicked towards his face, and she hated the pity she could read in his eyes. The care in his gestures only increased her stomachache.

“When’s the last time you ate?” His eyebrows were creased in concern. “Or had a good night’s sleep?”

When was the last time I had a full meal? Nene thought about it for a moment, but she honestly couldn’t remember.

She crossed her arms, pulling away from him. “I… I don’t know.” Her voice hardened. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Nene—”

She couldn’t take much more of this. Of seeing how much her behavior was disappointing him. She was already enough of a disappointment to herself. 

“I have to go,” she said again, firmer this time, as she brushed past him without a further glance and rushed off towards her next class. This time Rui made no move to stop her.

“Nene-chan’s still not here…” Emu informed Rui as he arrived at Wonder Stage for their after school rehearsal. Emu was looking through their box of props to give herself something to do as she waited, and Tsukasa was pacing back and forth across the stage restlessly. Now that Rui had arrived, they just needed Nene to show up so they could start their rehearsal. But since she hadn’t come to any of their rehearsals this week, they weren’t sure how much longer they should continue waiting.

Rui was a bit later than usual today, but it wasn’t without reason. He had spent some time after school trying to track down Nene. He couldn’t stop thinking about their conversation earlier that day, if you could even call it that. The way she had refused to meet his gaze, the dark circles under her eyes, the gauntness of her cheeks, the fact that she didn’t want to talk to him… Clearly she wasn’t doing well, but he wasn’t entirely sure what was wrong. He wanted to have a proper conversation with her, but he couldn’t find her anywhere. And she wasn’t here either, as he suspected… She had likely gone straight home yet again. He sighed.

“I don’t think she’ll be coming today,” he said as he made his way up onto the stage to join them. He tried smiling, though he was sure it came out a bit forced. “We can start whenever you two are ready.”

They barely even seemed to hear him.

“Nene hasn’t responded to any of my texts,” Tsukasa noted, more to himself than anyone else. He scrolled through his messages, looking for any missed one, but finding nothing.

“Or mine…” Emu added, downcast, as she pulled her phone out of her pocket to check one more time.

Rui frowned, his gaze passing back and forth between the two of them, lost in their own worlds. The atmosphere at their recent rehearsals hadn’t been the same without Nene, a gray cloud hanging over all of their heads. Rui had noticed that Emu and Tsukasa’s energy levels were considerably lower than usual as well.

“I saw Nene at school today,” Rui mentioned offhandedly. That caught their attention. The two of them stopped what they were doing and stared at Rui.

“Well? How is she?” Tsukasa demanded, crossing his arms. “Is she all right?”

Rui said nothing, but they could tell from his face that the answer wasn’t a good one.

“She’s not coming to rehearsal today, is she?” Emu said, dismayed. Her shoulders slumped and her face fell as she continued to look through the props without really looking for anything.

“I wonder what’s bothering her,” Tsukasa said as he began pacing again. “Surely there has to be something we can do!”

“We… We could take her to Wonderland Sekai?” Emu offered.

“We already tried that,” Rui pointed out. “I don’t think that’s what she needs right now.”

Memories of Phoenix Wonderland collapsing filled their heads and made them shiver as they recalled the last time they had been in Wonderland Sekai with Nene.

“We have to help Nene-chan!” Emu cried out, her eyes brimming with tears. 

“Yeah, we have to do something… But what?” Tsukasa ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

Rui shook his head, pained. “No, we need to have faith in her and let her figure this out for herself. Whatever it is that’s bothering her, I’m sure she’ll get through it. She said she’s been practicing her lines on her own. I think we just need to give her some time to herself to work things out.”

An uncomfortable silence fell over them. They all wanted to take action, but no one wanted to risk hurting Nene more in the process.

“If Nene-chan doesn’t come to our show…” Emu began, a look of alarm crossing her face as a realization struck her. “What are we gonna do?”

What could they do without Nene? Just thinking about it made Rui’s chest feel tight. The idea of performing without Nene by his side seemed unbearable now.

“Rui,” Tsukasa eyed Robo-Nene standing at the back of the stage and stopped in his tracks, an idea forming. “Do you think… Can you program Robo-Nene to perform Nene’s role in the show?”

Rui and Emu stared at him, bewildered.

Tsukasa held up his hands in a gesture of innocence. “Hey, I don’t like this either! But we all know how important this show is for the park, so if she doesn’t show up we need to have some kind of backup plan. It’s highly unlikely that we’ll even need it. All I’m asking is if you can do it in the first place.”

Rui frowned, thinking about it. “Well, I did have Nene record a voicebank to enable speech capabilities. And I suppose I could piece together her solo parts from old recordings of her singing… So, yes, it’s possible.”

The three of them grew quiet.

“I think you should do it then…” Tsukasa said after a minute of deliberation. “Just as a backup. We’ll be disqualified from the competition if we can’t perform, and it would be a huge loss for the park. The show must go on, you know?”

Logically, what Tsukasa said made sense. Rui knew this. And yet, something deep inside him screamed that this was a bad idea. Nene was supposed to perform through Robo-Nene or alongside her, and no one, not even Robo-Nene, should be able to replace her. But when Rui locked his gaze on Tsukasa, he was surprised to find that Tsukasa looked just as worried as he felt. This came from a place of concern for Nene, and he was just trying his best to keep things going in Nene’s absence, in the hopes that it would make things return to the way they were.

“Okay,” Rui locked away the small screaming voice deep inside him and nodded his assent instead.

Emu said nothing, but looked as if she was on the verge of tears again.

“I just hope she makes it to our show next week,” Tsukasa murmured, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

“She will,” Rui said firmly.

The other two nodded in agreement. They could only hope.