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Road Tripping

Summary:

Eren, Jean, and Armin are on a road trip, but they can't decide what music to play.

Work Text:

"Are we almost there yet?" Eren whined as he slouched in his seat.

"No, it hasn't even been a full day yet, Eren." Armin informed him.

Jean looked over at his whiny boyfriend, "Take a nap if you're antsy. It's gonna be a while."

They were on a road trip to Arizona, where Jean's relatives were. Though the trip there was tedious, they could cope... for a bit. Armin and Jean mentally congratulated their hyper boyfriend for even making it this far without complaint.

The road seemed to stretch out forever. Mountains in the distance never coming closer despite the speed they were driving at. Eren rolled down the window and stuck his hand out. The wind was loud and contorted the sound within the car, though no one really complained since the chill of the wind was appriciated within the hot car.

Eren unbuckled and stuck his head out the window, both hands on the frame. He stuck nearly half his torso out and started whooping.

"Eren! Stop that!" Armin screeched and lunged for the brunette. He grabbed onto his waist, the best he could. He tugged on him and Jean was yelling, unable to help pull him in as he was driving.

Eren eventually complied and sunk back into the car. He sighed and rolled the window up, buckling himself up.

"Jesus Christ..." Jean mumbled and ran a hand through his hair.

"Don't say the Lord's name in vain." Eren corrected him, earning him a (fake) slap to his face. Eren bit his lip and his eyes drooped, he leaned in to whisper, "I like it when you hit me like that."

Eren moved his hand to Jean's thigh. The taller man let out a huff, "I'm driving."

"And? Doesn't mean we can't make it fun. After all, who knows how long we'll be on the road." Eren gave it a light squeeze.

Jean however, was a very strong soldier. He took one hand off the wheel and peeled Eren's fingers off his thigh, "I'm driving."

Eren groaned and fell back into his seat. Armin leaned up and gazed at the brunette sleepily, he drew out his words as he closed his eyes, "I'm gonna sleep. You can sleep with me if you want 'Ren."

Eren blushed but shook his head, "I don't think I can sleep, I'm too awake." Armin nodded and went back to his seat to fall asleep. Eren groaned and looked out the window, he still had nothing to do.

He brought his finger up to the window and tapped on the glass to a rhythm of a song he had stuck in his head. He hummed the tune and then shot up in his seat. Jean glanced at him, a little confused and a little worried, but used to his antics. Eren pulled his phone out and connected it to the car's Bluetooth. He put his playlist on shuffle and sat back in his seat, smiling as the sweet sound of heavy guitar filled his ears.

"Turn off that metal shit." Jean sneered and pressed the knob to silence the obnoxious music.

Eren's jaw dropped and he pushed the knob, turning the music back on. Loud screaming filled the car again and Eren started to lip sync before Jean turned it off again. Eren immediatley turned it back on. Jean turned it off. Eren on. And off, and on, and off and before Eren could turn it on again Jean slapped Eren's hand, trying to keep focus on the road.

"I'm in the drivers seat, my say goes above all." Jean argued.

"That's no fair!" Eren said dramatically pouting and gripping onto the seat handles, "I can't drive so when am I ever supposed to play my music?"

"Not my problem! Use earbuds, but as the driver I have jurisdiction over the music. I could crash the car if your demonic music possesses me! You don't want me to die, do you?" Jean asked.

"Uh yes I do! If it means I can play my good Christian music, then please, die!" Eren said, flailing his arms.

"Do you want Armin to die? It's statistically proven that people in the back are more likely to die in a crash!" Jean raised his eyebrow.

Eren went quiet and sunk down in his seat, grumbling about playing dirty. Armin sat up at the mention of his name and swung his head around from both boys.

"Did someone say my name?" Armin asked before tapping on Eren's shoulder and continuing, "Is everything okay? Do we need to stop? Is something wrong?"

Eren leaned up and whispered into Jean's ear, "It's what you deserve." He turned to Armin and put on his most convincing pout he had, "Jean says he's gonna drive off a bridge with us in it if I keep playing my gay music. Armin he's being homophobic! Please, we should leave him by the side of the road for good measure."

Jean swerved the car to scare Eren out of talking, though it backfired. Armin screamed and held onto the car seat Eren was in, the brunette grabbing onto his hands and continuing his anti-Jean propaganda, "See! Armin, he's trying to kill us!"

"No I'm not-"

"Armin, I knew Jean was bad news, he wears the same underwear two days in a row! We should've stayed monogamous."

"I was just teasing! Armin, Eren's overreacting because I won't let him play his emo music." Jean said, silencing Eren.

"It's metal, not emo. Emo is more on the lines of fall out boy or the used self titled album. Metal is what I was playing-" Eren started to explain.

"Yeah I really don't care. Either way it gives me a headache. I turned the music off and now he's throwing a hissy fit." Jean simplified, "I'm not opposed to music, just that music will distract me-"

"Cause it's so good." Eren interrupted, Armin shushed him and motioned for Jean to continue.

"And if we want to make it to Prescott before Thursday I need to concentrate because we are not stopping in Texas even for bathroom breaks unless it's Austin or Huston." Jean said sternly.

Eren huffed and rolled his eyes. As much as he wanted to listen to the Gods of Metal (obviously Slipknot), being hate crimed by a Westboro Baptist Hate Group (they are not a Church) member and being a martyr for the gay community was not on his list of things he wanted to do. Armin pressed his cheek onto the shoulder of Eren's chair and played with Eren's fingers. "Jean said he's willing to listen to other music. How about he puts something on and if you don't like it, we can stop for headphones."

Eren mumbled in agreement, far more focused on the warmth of Armin's hand than his desire to listen to the best music ever. Jean rolled his eyes and smiled before turning to Armin, "Thanks Min. Could you pull up my Spotify and play the playlist titled 'Best hits'? It's got some good stuff."

Armin leaned towards Jean and pecked his temple before he pulled out his phone. He connected his Bluetooth and shuffled the playlist. A classic 80's song came on and Jean smiled. He pulled one hand off the wheel and started to sing along with the song in a high pitched voice. Armin smiled as he recognized the song and joined in with Jean. Eren groaned and squeezed Armin's hand.

"I hate 80's music! It all fades out into the distance and the riffs are so annoyingly catchy and the same it's all just so blah." The brunette pouted, "And the good ones are overplayed. Like yeah, Queen is a great band and their music is different but you can walk into a gas station and hear seven Queen songs play within the span of an hour."

"Yeah because Metallica is so much better." Jean said sarcastically.

"Hey! You keep their name out of your mouth!" Eren pointed his finger at Jean's face.

"How about you stop bitching and just listen to the music? You wanted music in the first place, beggars can't be choosers." Jean sneered.

"Are you saying I'm not allowed to choose anything because I beg? Do you think that gay marriage should be illegal?" Eren questioned, "God maybe I should just jump out this car! You're practically screaming for me to do it. You know about my depression, and you're telling me to kill myself?"

Jean gasped, "Me? Homophobic? Please the only thing seperating you and a redneck hill-billy is the fact you wear eyeliner."

"Fuck you!" Eren said and turned the music off.

"No you!" Jean retorted as he turned the music on again.

Eren stuck his hand out to turn it off again but was cut off by Armin's voice, "Oh my God can you two shut the hell up!" The two boys went silent and Eren slowly turned the music off. Armin pressed his hands to his temples and rubbed them. He was on the verge of tears from sheer stress, "Stop fighting! We're on a roadtrip. I'm so fucking done. Play music or not I do not give two shits but raise your voice one more time and so help me I will make you regret it for the rest of your lives."

Armin rarely cussed. It wasn't that he was innocent or anything, but so that when he did, it held more power. The two men's faces turned red in shame. Armin took a deep breath in and then unbuckled himself. He stood up in the car and held onto the seats to steady himself.

"There aren't a bunch of cops around here, are there?" Armin asked Jean. Jean shook his head, though perplexed by the question.

"Good." Armin said. He crawled over the console and plopped down into Eren's lap. He unbuckled the boy and scooted himself back so he was pressed flush against him. Once he was ready, he buckled them back up. "I'm going to sleep, if you need something to do, I'm right here."

Eren pouted and nodded. He stuck his face into Armin's shoulder and wrapped his hands around the small boy. He gripped his waist and squeezed at in, kneading the soft flesh in his hands. He pressed small kisses to the blonde's temple and smiled. He felt the boy slowly drift off in his arms and then stuck his face into his hair, silky and comfortable.

"I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to piss you off." Eren whispered to Jean.

The taller man nodded and smiled, reaching out a hand to hold Eren's, "I was being bitchy too. You're all good."

Eren squeezed Jean's hand and kissed Armin's neck. He nipped lightly at the flesh and sucked a hickey in, he couldn't help himself. He closed his eyes and let the rumble of the road, the warmth of Jean's hand, and the smooth feeling of Armin's skin against his lips lull him to sleep.