Chapter Text
It’s a quiet night, Lian’s fast asleep in her room, the city is as quiet as can be on New Years and for once he can spend a relaxing few hours on the couch before going to bed, hoping his little girl doesn’t wake up so that he can actually get some sleep before taking her to pre-K in the morning. And then the phone rings.
He’s half expecting, mostly hoping it’s Dick, calling to check in- or maybe even Wally or Garth or Donna. But when he picks up Dinah answers, and she sounds mad . Roy sighs and sits up straighter, resigning himself to what appears to be the end of his relaxing night and the beginning of a stressful one. “What’s wrong?”
“I kicked Ollie out.” She sounds manic, somewhere between mad, and hurt, and smug and it reminds Roy all too much of the way his own voice had sounded years ago when he’d socked his dad in the jaw.
“Uh….. is there a reason for that?”
Dinah laughs then, and he rolls his shoulders, trying to at least relieve himself of the tension building in his back. “Caught him kissing a college student that he asked me to take in, in our house. She was even wearing a costume that matched his.”
Roy’s hands are shaking now, twitchy little movements in his fingers making the phone shake too where he holds it against his head. “ What ?”
“She’s younger than you.” If he was thinking more clearly, was less hurt, he might have reacted to the way she’s almost reveling in saying it. But he’s not. So the rage grows in his chest, this white hot all consuming thing that steadies his shaking hands and he can feel himself slowing his breathing, readying for a fight that isn’t going to come.
He stares bitterly at the framed photo of his dad Ollie on the side table and grips the phone so hard his knuckles turn white. “And he had her live with you?”
“Took her in off the street a few years ago, and of course, she’s blonde . He has a type alright.”
If Roy was thinking more clearly, if the rage wasn’t pounding as strong in his heart as in his mind he might think back to how Ollie’s type is more solidly brunette than blonde, and that’s just the ones he’s met.
Something though, something about this still feels….off- and try as he might he can’t shake the gut feeling that Ollie wouldn’t do this. But Dinah says he did, and she wouldn’t lie to him.
Dinah’s still talking, but Roy’s mind is slipping in and out of focusing on what she’s saying, his thoughts now racing a mile a minute as two sides of his heart fight it out. “-I should have kicked him to the curb when he had a kid with another woman, but I gave him another chance like an idiot.”
It feels like a punch to the gut, and Roy’s voice comes out weak. “.... he did what?”
“He had a son with a Yakuza hitwoman, and even worse she knew about me .”
Roy’s whole body is shaking now, little tremors that he tries to contain, knowing that if he doesn’t he’ll end up crying- heaving sobs that will wake Lian and give this waking nightmare physical proof of existence.
Dinah must have finally checked the time. “Oh, I didn’t realize the time for you- I’ll let you go so you can get some sleep. Goodnight Roy, give Lian a hug for me.”
“...yeah…. Night Dinah.” He knows his voice sounds hollow but she’s hung up without noticing or commenting. He knows now, that he isn’t going to relax or sleep tonight- that he’s going to sit here on the couch and overthink this. Trying to fight back that familiar feeling of being replaced, trying to bite back and swallow the anger so that Lian doesn’t see it, trying to find a way to tell Lian about her grandfather when she asks that doesn’t make him want to cry.
He has a brother younger than his daughter. The idea makes the anxious pit in his stomach grow and he feels nauseous.
What a way to bring in the new year.
A few days pass, and Lian, in her tiny infinite wisdom tries to fix his sadness with as many cuddles as she can possibly get from him. It helps, because Lian is the best helper in the world and everything she does makes his life better, but that gut feeling of wrongness persists.
He almost hangs up the phone when he hears Ollie’s voice- but something about it makes him keep the phone up to his ear- it might be the almost hopeful way that Ollie says “Roy?”
He tries to keep his voice steady, to let his upset show, but what comes out is something shakier. “What do you want?”
“Dinah and I broke up- she kicked me out. Figured you should hear it from me….”
“I heard.”
“Oh. I guess Dinah called you then.”
“She did. And you have some explaining to do.” Finally , Roy’s voice sounds as rough and angry as he wants it to, but for once… for once Ollie isn’t fighting back.
He just sounds broken. “Where do you want me to start?”
“You have a son .” Roy demands, words spilling from his mouth as angry as he can manage.
“I didn’t… I didn’t know.” Ollie whispers, and it is a whisper. His usual booming voice reduced to something Roy almost has to strain to hear through the phone.
“ Of course you knew , how do you make a kid without knowing you’re doing it.” Pot meet kettle.
“No I- I didn’t know any of it…. I didn’t….I didn’t remember any of that happening he was just suddenly….there.” Ollie’s voice is halting and shaky and still so quiet . “I was just… trying to be a good friend, and then I got hurt and remember thinking Dinah was there which didn’t make sense…”
Roy can practically see the furrow in Ollie’s brow as the man tries to concentrate on the other end of the line, and the more his father talks the larger the pit in Roy’s stomach grows. “You…you didn’t know?”
“No…I mean obviously it must have happened, but I don’t-I don’t know how.”
It’s muffled but Roy can hear another voice on the other end of the line. “Hurry it up Queen.”
Unbidden, before he can even think about it Roy hears himself say- “No!...Keep- keep talking…What about the college student?”
In his mind’s eye he can almost see Ollie nod quietly. “Marianne, it’s her last semester. When we met her she was a runaway and we had a spare room…. It was safer for her off the street. Dinah knows her better than I do, I’ve been….away a lot the past few years- hardly seen the girl since we took her in.”
“That doesn’t tell me what happened.”
“She got it in her head that I was in love with her? I guess? Dunno, she built a fucking shrine to me, I mean I know I’ve got a big head but that’s overdoing it even in my book. I was turning her down for the second time that night and she just kissed me.”
Roy’s mouth is dry and he shakes his head before taking a steadying breath. “Ollie…. None of that is your fault.”
“I hurt her too many times.”
“No. Ollie- Dad , these are things that happened to you . You didn’t do anything.”
He can almost hear the sardonic smile in Ollie’s voice that accompanies the soft huff of a sad laugh. “I’m not sure that really matters to her. Hell kid, she’s even jealous of you . It doesn’t matter what I do or don’t do.”
The line beeps three times and starts reciting a message about adding more time, and Ollie curses. “Fucking hell, sorry Roy, ‘m all outta quarters.”
Roy swallows hard. “Yeah, talk to you later old man- I-” the line beeps again and then clicks off and Roy sighs, “love you.”
Roy bites his lip and stares at the wall, trying to collect his thoughts, trying to swallow his pride and anger. Debating if it's worth confronting Dinah. Knowing that he should. Knowing that he doesn’t want yet another person in his life to shut him out. So he sits, and thinks, and thinks about calling Uncle Hal, almost does call Dick. But then screams into a pillow and hauls himself to his feet to collect Lian from pre-K. He may not know what to do now, but he does know that this conversation is far from over.