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Ravi tugged at the cuff of his sleeve, examining the splintering wood woven into the porch chair. Pip’s chair. He’d been at this door so many times, waiting for Mr. Fitz-Anobi to open the door. Throughout Ravi and Pip’s relationship, his smiles had become more genuine.
Glad to see Ravi. So much better than firm handshakes.
His mind was far from the chair his eyes were examining though.
Pip had called him at noon, saying in slurry words that someone had printed something through her computer. It didn’t make much sense. Her words were muffled on speaker, too close, presumably. She stumbled and tripped over her words. Pip didn’t trip over her words. She was deliberate and calculated.
At least, she usually was. He’d asked to come over but she had said no. No, he couldn’t come over. Just need to take a run. Clear my head, she had insisted, sounding drunk.
So, yeah. He’d come to check on her. Sue him for being worried but he was nonetheless.
The door opened, cold air blowing from inside the house out. There was a vent right next to the front door. Ravi knew that.
“Oh,” Mrs. Fitz-Anobi said and Ravi forced a smile.
“Hi.”
"I assume you’re here for Pip?”
“Nah, I’m here to play FIFA with Josh,” He joked as the woman stepped aside, letting him inside the threshold. They shared a small smile.
A chipper voice from the couch replied, “Really?”
Ravi winced, his smile fading as he toed his shoes off. “No, not really. I will though, soon as I’m done talking with Pip.”
A frown was in Josh’s voice when he responded, “Alright.”
So he had started his way up the stairs, the seventh one creaking like it always did, and found his way to Pip’s room, a place he was very familiar with. Short-long-short he knocked. The very air around him seemed stiff as a beat of silence passed. Had she already gone on her run?
“R- Ravi?” A voice croaked from the other side. What the hell- was she actually drunk?
“Yeah, it’s me, can I-”
The door shot open, the gust blowing Pippa Fitz-Anobi’s hair over her shoulder. “What are you doing here? I told you not to come. I’m- I’m fine.”
Except she wasn’t.
Bags were carved underneath her eyes. She looked hollow, like Ravi could count every bone in her face. Her brown hair was split at the edges; it meant she didn’t use enough conditioner, meaning she wasn’t taking care of herself well. Her skin was an ill mix of blotchy pink and paper-white pale. He felt his chest tighten.
"...what happened?”
“I already told you,” His girlfriend snapped. Sign of not enough sleep; irritability.
He tried to slide his hand into hers, still standing in her doorway, hoping for her to relax from the stiff posture she was holding. Pip flinched though, arm jumping back to her side. That had only ever happened once before; after Stanley died. Ravi’s own posture stiffened.
“You weren’t making much sense.”
She was in workout clothes. He had read online that running can be an unhealthy coping mechanism. She shouldn’t be running. Her grip on the door only tightened.
“I said that someone- someone got Bluetooth on my printer and printed..”
She trailed off, gaze skipping around as she returned to her desk to snatch a paper, offering it to him. The paper was trembling in her grip. It said; Who will look for you when you’re the one who disappears? p.s. I learned this trick from you, season 1 episode 5. Ready for my next trick?
“And then- then loud music- through my speaker.” Pippa swallowed roughly, denting the paper in half as she put it back. “It was Daniel, I know it was-”
“Pip,” Ravi used his softest voice but that only seemed to light the dangerous flame flickering in Pip’s brown eyes. “This is hard evidence. Go to the police. You promised.”
He tried to find her hand again, reaching for the other one this time, but she shoved his touch away, harshly. “I can’t, Ravi. I have to see this through- they won’t believe me if I tell them. Dan works at the police station. You know that.”
He felt defensive boiling within him. He was only trying to help. “I do but you agreed when this started that once we have evidence-”
“This isn’t good enough evidence!” Pip exploded. “This isn’t good enough! They never believe me- Hawkins will say I made it up or I printed it myself-”
Ravi tried to stay calm. She was just tired. He tried to let her know that he was still on her side. Their side. Team Ravi and Pip. “What about the speaker? Could you trace it back to a phone?”
“No.” Her tone was still testy. “That’s not how Bluetooth works and I told my parents that it connected to my phone when they woke up to-”
Ravi cut her off, straightening up. “You lied? Pip, you promised me that you would be safe, this isn’t safe. It’s reckless. ”
“It doesn’t matter, I just need a bit more time.” Her shaky hands combed through her straw-like hair.
“This isn’t a cold case. This is right now.” His voice was rough with concern as Pip all but ignored him. “Right now, someone wants to kill you-”
“And I know who, I just have to prove-”
“Pip, you’re going to get yourself killed!”
Her gaze snapped up, icy. Unlike any look she’d ever sent Ravi. “I know what I’m doing! Either you help me or get out, Ravi.”
"I am helping you,” Ravi said through his teeth as she adjusted her sports bra strap, the imprint firm in her skin. “I am trying to tell you that you’re not alone. I know you don’t trust the police but...”
“But what, Ravi? They got Max wrong, they got Sal and Andie wrong.” He winced again but Pip seemed to be blocking him out entirely now, her words a heated, unstoppable stream of anger. “They were going to get Jamie wrong. I’m so close to putting a serial killer behind bars and I am not trusting Hawkins with that. He thinks Billy did it. He’s going to say I’m insane- ”
“The way you’re talking, he’d be right!” Ravi’s voice was loud now, bouncing off her room walls. Pip didn’t seem fazed though. That was worse. She wasn’t listening. Jaw set. Fists clenched. Mind made. He immediately fixed his tone. “I am not against you, Pip. You’re not alone. Team Pip and Ravi, remember?"
Pip shook her head slightly as he tried to continue.
"You're acting like I’m just another,” He struggled to find the words for a moment, “person in your way.”
“You know what, you are, Ravi!”
He recoiled at the words. What? No, they were a team. A couple. Them against the world. He felt his lip fight to tremble. What the fuck was going on with her? His eyes had found the printed paper again, folded haphazardly on the edge of her crowded desk.
They landed on something else too.
His entire being jolted to a stop.
Pip faltered, following his gaze. Confused, she asked shortly, “What? Why are you-”
Ravi cut her off by storming over the desk and his fingers wrapped around a small bottle. He promptly tipped it into his hand. Pills fell. Not a bottle’s worth though. Pip was frozen.
“What the fuck is this?” He swore, jolting the bottle in her direction as if she needed a reminder. He knew though. Drugs. Her simultaneously icy and fiery gaze returned.
“Sleeping pills.”
His voice was low, anger restricted to the single string of words; “But not prescription.”
“The prescription wasn’t good enough,” Pip replied, words sharp enough to cut, like he should already know this. Annoyed she had to explain. Another person in her way, Ravi’s thoughts repeated. His grip tightened on the bottle.
“And you thought this wasn’t important enough to mention?” Her mouth opened, but he wasn’t done. “Who are you, Pip? What is this? This isn’t the Pip that knocked on my door, this isn’t the I know, the Pip I love wouldn’t-”
“Maybe you don’t know the real me then.” Her words were so tight. “The real Ravi wouldn’t yell and scream over sleeping pills.”
“Don’t lie to yourself, Pip. These are drugs. ” Ravi’s voice was turning into a growl. “Drugs. You bought them- what, from Howie? Don’t you see, Pip? You’re going to end up like Andie-”
“You don’t think I can do it?”
He was so mad, he missed the shake in her voice.
“I think your ego is getting in the way. You’re not an invisible detective, you’re just a girl-”
“Yeah, well, you’re just a shitty ass boyfriend,” Pippa interrupted, words filled with venom. No regret crossed her face like surprise crossed Ravi’s. “You’re not helping. Get out, Ravi.”
Silence.
“Leave!”
“You know what, you’re a shitty ass girlfriend.” Tears were threatening Ravi’s eye now, voice shaking with anger. He sucked in a breath, repeating, “You’re a shitty ass girlfriend.”
“Well, if I’m so shitty why am I your girlfriend at all?” Pip yelled and Ravi heard the crunch of pills in his closed fist. A tear slipped down his cheek. Another beat passed, Pip not taking back what she said. Waiting.
Ravi finally spit, “Fine. Good luck on your own.”
“Fine.”
He slammed Pip’s door as he left.
**
Pip had texted Ravi three minutes after he left, driving through blurry vision as his heart pounded against his ribcage. He hated that he hoped that it said ‘come back, I’m sorry’. Instead, the text read ‘im picking my stuff up at four. box on the porch’.
Ravi knew as soon as he read it that he had made a mistake.
That was Pip. His Pip. She was hurting and she was tired. She hadn’t meant it, he insisted, throat tightening as he hit his bed, mattress bouncing. He hadn’t meant it and she hadn’t meant it. When she came, he would apologize.
And then he sobbed.
Sobbed for almost an hour straight. Ravi wasn’t actually sure of the reason. He pounded his pillow. He cried until his face broke in half. He swore over and over. Maybe it was because she was hurting and he had hurt her. Maybe it was because of what she had said. Maybe it was because of what he had said. He cried and cried until his eyes were red and ran dry.
Time passed slowly to four. He couldn’t think. His bones felt heavy and his mind was mush.
What if she had meant it? What if Pip didn’t want him anymore? Another tear ran down his cheek. They were welcome now. What would he do? Without Pip. Without Pip. The words echoed over and over.
That’s what he had done. He might end up without Pip because of what he said.
Without Pip.
Without Pip.
Without Pip.
Behind each heartbeat, it stayed. For hours. The clock hit four and Ravi was waiting in the foyer, watching for the white car to pull up through the window.
The time ticked by. Four o one. Four o two. Four o three. All the way to four o ten, the clock spun.
His gut twisted, a feeling like cement sinking all the way to his feet. Was she not even going to show up? Maybe, she somehow knew he hadn't put her stuff on the porch. Ravi tugged out his phone, intending to open messages.
His lock screen was, ironically, a picture of Pip. He ended up just studying it.
Ravi took it when they were at a boba shop. Pip loved boba. He could still hear her coaxing him to try it. Ravi, apparently, hated boba. As soon as he tasted it, he was disgusted. It showed on his face, presumably. Pip had started laughing; small giggles at first, but transforming into loud, wheezing ones. He had snuck a picture.
Her brown hair looked a bit red in the sun, an auburn color, flecks of dust lit up. A pink boba cup was loosely in her grip, dimples carving into her mouth. Eyes glowing. So happy. So gorgeous. So perfect.
There was a knock at the door.
Not abrupt, but it startled him anyway. He scrambled up and hurried to the door, cold brass under his hand.
It wasn’t Pip.
It was Connor.
His burrow furrowed, a million questions cramming into his head. Connor didn’t look good. He looked a bit sick actually. His voice was shaking as he spoke. He said, words husky and quiet.
“Is.. is, um..”
“What? What’s wrong, Connor?”
“..is Pip here? She,” Connor looked up and their eyes locked. “She’s missing.”