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Missing. Gone. Lost.
No, not lost. She was taken. And Ravi knew who had done it.
When he told Connor, Connor’s eyes had widened and they had piled into his car. Connor told him that Pip had never shown up at Nat da Silva's, so Nat had called. Pip wasn’t home. Ravi’s was the last place to check. People were currently searching, Connor had assured him, leg bouncing with nervous energy.
Ravi shoved the police station door open, metal clanging loudly behind him. Like how he had shut Pip’s door. Stormed back downstairs. He never did get to play FIFA with Josh.
Ravi’s wild eyes skipped around, searching for only one face. Dan wasn’t here.
Where should he look? Pip would know where to look. Pip would know who to ask. Pip would know how to handle this.
A woman peered at them from behind the desk and smiled tentatively at the sight of them. That’s somewhere to start. “Oh, hello boys, I-”
“Where’s Daniel?” Ravi’s voice was shaking with emotion.
Connor shot him a look, like Pip would’ve. Too harsh. Ravi couldn’t stop though. What was Dan doing to Pip right now? Hanging her? Touching her? Taping her up? So, he hit his balled fist on the table, pens in the mason jar on the counter rattling as it did.
“Dan da Silva, where is he? He works here, about twenty n-”
Ravi felt a hand curl on his arm, pulling him away from the counter and the startled older woman. “I’m so sorry, he is just a bit worked up-”
“Where is Dan da Silva?”
The woman faltered, shuffling on her feet. “I- I’m not sure-“
“Ask Hawkins.”
Heat flooded the woman’s face and Connor tightened his grip, saying in a suffocated whisper, “Ravi. I know what you’re feeling but I think you should wait outside.”
“I won’t, I,” Ravi began but fell short, eyes landing on a man.
A tall one, one with brown hair and a bit of stubble on his jaw. In a police uniform. Glasses propped on his head. Badge on his chest. Stain on his sleeve. Looking at his watch.
Dan da Silva.
In a blur, Ravi was moving. All too suddenly, he had grabbed Dan by his collar, shoving him on the wall. Anger took over him, yelling, “Where is she?!”
Ravi felt someone pulling him back as Dan’s glasses fell from his head, pure alarm on his face. Ravi shoved him harder repeating the question, but he felt his grip on Dan completely slip from underneath him, and then Dan was next to the older woman, wearing pretend shock on his face. He knows, he knows, his thoughts chanted.
“I’m sorry- he’s just- Pip is missing-” Connor fumbled to explain.
“You took her!” Raw anger clawed at his throat, shaking his core. He fought Connor, but Connor was holding him back tighter. Why was he holding him?
Something changed in Dan’s expression but it wasn’t menacing. His expression softened. And suddenly, Ravi understood why Pip never wanted to come to the police.
“It’s okay, let him go,” Dan said quietly.
“Uh,” Connor began but Dan just gave a singular nod. The constraints loosened and dropped.
Dan held eye contact. How dare he look Ravi in the eye. The officer said evenly, “Ravi. I haven’t left this office all morning.”
And just like that, he had shoved Dan on a wall again, hands trembling violently. “You’re lying! ”
“I am not. Ravi, I didn’t take Pi-”
“Don’t you say her name,” Ravi said and suddenly, he had grabbed the gun in Dan’s pouch. A gasp from behind him. Dan stayed calm, eyes on Ravi as tears continued to fall, gritting his teeth.
“It’s okay, Jane.”
Again; “Where is she? Tell me or I’ll shoot you.”
Dan rolled his lips back to the point where they disappeared. “Yesterday, I realized I had a report due at midnight. I stayed in my office working on it, running on coffee. I crashed after that, barely got it in. I didn’t wake up until now. As you can see, there is a coffee stain on my shirt. I haven’t washed my uniform yet. It’s wrinkled, clearly. There’s a camera in my office. Can I go show it to you?”
“You could’ve faked it,” Ravi snapped, hiking the gun higher on his temple. Dan seemed to consider it a moment.
“Well, you can look at my office. Coffee mugs are everywhere. And you can look at the security footage on my car. I honestly don’t think you can edit that.” A moment passed. “Also, I live with my daughter, Sophia, and my wife, Brielle. I would never, ever hurt someone, especially not a daughter and not a girlfriend.”
And with that, Ravi crumbled, gun dropping from his grip and landing with a thud on the carpet.
His mind was spinning, tears slipping aimlessly from his eyes as he trembled. No, no, no. Not again. He never wanted to be here again. She couldn’t die, not like Sal. He became distantly aware of Connor wrapping his arms around Ravi.
“He’s just-” Connor sounded frantic.
“I know,” Dan cut him off. “It’s okay. He didn’t mean it. No charges or reporting anything. He was never going to shoot me. The gun wasn’t even loaded properly.”
“I’m sorry,” Ravi choked out, pulling away from Connor. He wasn’t sure which one of them he was talking to. All he knew was he couldn’t stop shaking. He kept muttering as he found the wall to lean on. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry-”
“It’s alright, Ravi.”
Connor jumped back in. “Pip’s gone.”
“I gathered that. Search party?”
“When I told them Pip wasn’t at Ravi’s, they assembled one. Not police. At least, not yet.”
Dan rubbed his eyes, dust in the corners. “I’m afraid police won’t be much help here.”
“We know,” Ravi said darkly. Dan faltered, gaze skipping between the boys for an explanation. “Both of us have been here before. Him more recently.”
“Oh, you’re Connor Reynolds, aren’t you?”
Ravi didn’t wait for him to answer. They didn’t have time for small talk. “Pip is eighteen, she isn’t high risk, we get the deal. We didn’t come here for help, we came here for you but.. that was a mistake.”
Connor added, “But anything you can do, even as just a citizen, is helpful.”
“I’ll join the search as soon as I can.”
***
Waiting was a cursed word in Ravi’s mind.
He couldn’t wait for Pip to come back. Not like he waited for Sal, night after night, hurrying downstairs to see if a familiar pair of shoes had returned. They never did. Ravi couldn’t even remember what they looked like anymore.
That wasn’t allowed to happen to Pip.
He was never going to forget her shoes, the smile she hid when he made a joke that she would insist, ‘really, wasn’t even funny’ and he’d reach over and ruffle her hair. He wouldn’t forget the ringtone for her text. He wouldn’t forget the hiccup that would come in the middle of her giggle when she was laughing really hard. He would never, ever forget anything about Pippa.
He spent almost three hours walking around Fairview, calling her name until his voice died. Never a response. Shouting into a void. Just like Sal.
Ravi wouldn’t stop calling her phone. He knew she wouldn’t pick up. He just wanted to hear her voice, even if it was a voicemail. Just like Sal.
He wouldn’t stop. He drove all over town until dusk, ignoring Connor and his parents. And his better judgment. A gut feeling that he wasn’t going to find her, but driving around blindly in his car anyway. Just like Sal .
“Hello, this is Pippa Fitz-Anobi’s voicemail. I can’t come to phone right-”
“Fuck,” Ravi tried to yell but his voice wouldn’t let him, breaking and withering. His skin was so irritated from all the tears but they kept coming. He hung up, tossing his phone into the leather passenger side seat and pulling over. It wasn’t safe to drive like this. He couldn’t see straight.
You’re a shitty ass girlfriend.
You’re going to end up like Andie.
Good luck on your own.
He never should have left. Never, ever. And he should’ve turned the car back around as soon as he did. Those were the last words he said to her before she-
No, he couldn’t think like that. Pip was alive. She had to be. That was Pip fucking Fitz-Anobi. She was his and he was hers and they were a team. His jaw set and he put his hands back on the driving wheel. Ravi was holding it so tightly his fingertips were turning white.
Just as his headlights turned back on, he heard his phone buzz with a call.
Ravi jumped out of his skin.
He didn’t even take time to read the caller ID before he answered.
“Hello?” His voice was gravelly and fast.
“Hi, Ravi.” It wasn’t Pip. “It’s Dan.”
He slumped, voice breaking even through the single syllable word, “Oh.”
“We found Pip.”
Words tumbled out of his mouth. “W- what? Where is she? Is she- is she okay?”
“She’s at the Green Scene warehouse, I’ll send you the address.” Jason Bell’s company? Why? A pause came before Dan answered the second question and his heart sank into his throat. No. No. No. Don’t say it. “I haven’t been let inside yet.”
A breath he had been holding released. The location came and Ravi was driving, faster than he probably should, faster than he ever had. “Do you know who it was?”
“Not yet, I haven’t been inside.”
His voice was hoarse from overuse but he kept going. “Who has?”
“Hawkins just went in with his team five minutes ago. He called me and I’m driving there right now. Thought you might want to know, but if they asked who told you, don’t say me,” Dan weakly attempted humor. Ravi’s heart was pounding, pulse in his ears, sweat in his palms. He didn’t laugh.
“Okay, I’m almost there.”
“How? It’s on the other side of town from your house, right?”
“I was driving around—looking.”
“Oh,” was all Dan replied. Silence lapsed on both sides but neither hung up as they drove. Ravi heard his tires screech as he pulled up to the building. There were three police cars already there, probably a forensic team.
Just like Sal.
He hung up and bolted from his car, cold air hitting him like a smack in the face. Please. Let this part not be like Sal. An officer outside the house holding a backpack looked up as Ravi ran full force towards the house, gravel loud under his sneakers.
A silver backpack with a pin on the strap. Pip’s backpack.
“Woah, young man, this is an active-”
“Is she alive?” Ravi tried to push past him but the officer was holding him like Connor had, back in the station. “Tell me- is- is she alive?”
“Sir, I don’t think I can disclose any information-”
“Answer the question.” Ravi wanted to scream but his voice was thinning, vision blurred. “Please, just- is Pip alive?”
“I can’t-”
Suddenly, he heard a car door slam. Ravi turned to see a brown-haired officer getting out. Daniel da Silva.
He had a fierce look on his face, gravel crunching beneath his boots as he approached. Ravi felt like the only thing keeping him upright was the officer holding him back.
Ravi’s breaths felt stabs within him instead of breaths now. Iron hot. Sharp pains within his throat every time he tried to talk. He talked anyway. “He won’t let me in.”
“Just let the kid in.” Dan’s voice was soft. “He knows not to touch anything, right?”
Ravi nodded vigorously, “I do- I- I won’t.”
“Not even Pip,” Dan said, gaze flickering away from the conflicted officer, back to Ravi. “She is a part of the crime scene if something happened here.”
Fuck it. He just needed to see her. “Okay. I promise.”
“Alright,” The officer said, letting go of Ravi. Dan was in front so he pushed open the door. The scene unfolded in front of Ravi. Four officers were around the small office-looking room. A hammer lay on the floor with a small sign saying 3. Pip's hair on the ground. 2. Cut and tattered pieces of duct tape being collected in a small bag, the duct tape roll with the number 1 .
And, undoubtedly, Pip, though he couldn’t quite see her. That’s what three of the four officers were doing. Unwrapping.
Pip’s brown hair peeked out from under the duct tape that engulfed her whole body. Her face was covered. That’s what they were unwrapping. She was slumped against the shelf. The tape came off with a ripping sound and her forehead was revealed. So was a cut, right on her temple, tinting the tape red.
She looked lifeless. Dead.
And suddenly Ravi had forgotten all about his promise.
He was running toward her but before he could, another arm had wrapped around him. He fought, not even knowing what he was trying to yell but knowing he was. He needed to see her. Hold her. Was she dead?
Without Pip.
Without Pip.
Without Pip.
Forever.