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Stede Bonnet is not a human.
Chauncey Badminton’s words echoed in Stede’s head as he ran through the forest, weeping and praying to return to Ed before the sun rose. If he made it in time, they could still leave for China tonight. He had run from his problems before. He could do it again. This time, he would be with Ed.
Monster, a lingering voice in his head accused. Plague, it spat. Stede kept running, trying to ignore the thoughts swimming beneath the surface.
You defile beautiful things. Images of Mary, Alma and Louis swam across his vision, their disapproving faces staring into his soul. How could he have left her with the children, too much a coward to tell her why? All for some midlife crisis? Who did he think he was fooling?
You even managed to bring history’s greatest pirate to ruin, the voice hissed in his ear. And then he saw Ed’s face, which burned into his vision like a brand. His now-bare face, his long, flowing hair. The way the stars reflected in his brown eyes. Ed. Oh God… he thought to himself. Ed, who was waiting at the dock near where they had kissed and planned to run away together. Ed, who signed away his life as a pirate for Stede without a second thought. Ed, who was still Blackbeard, even when he shaved. Stede’s run slowed to a reluctant walk.
And here you are. Unscathed. God’s perfect little rich boy. What had he done? What had he dared to do? How could he account for all of the lives he had ruined for his selfish happiness? He couldn’t run away from this. How dare he think he could? Stede stopped, breathing in the cool night breeze. It was strange, the lack of salt tang in the air.
“You’re right,” he said aloud to no one, repeating what he had told the dead man. He tried not to picture Chauncey Badminton’s body growing cold alone. “I agree.”
You don’t fool me, the voice whispered. He was mewling and pitiful. A lily-livered rich boy. It didn’t matter if he confessed to the accusations; he had to pay for his crimes somehow. The Stede Bonnet reign of terror ends tonight, the voice vowed.
“It will,” Stede promised, his voice choking as he started to walk again, this time in the direction of his old house in Bridgeport, “I’m going back.” He couldn’t promise to go home, but he could promise to return to his old life. He didn’t want to think about where his home was.
He thought again of Ed, waiting for him at the docks patiently. Stede leaving would be better for him anyway, right? The memory of Ed kissing him swam up into his vision against his will. He had ruined Blackbeard, history’s greatest pirate. Reduced him to a man who enjoyed folding clothes and working for the Crown and leaving his life as a pirate behind, all for Stede, someone entirely undeserving. Stede couldn’t bear to think about it any longer. He had to leave.
Leaving will be better for everyone involved, he told himself sternly. This wasn’t selfish; if anything, it was an act of kindness. Blackbeard would escape on his own and be feared again. The crew would have a real captain. They would go on to be real pirates. And he, Stede Bonnet, would go back to his normal life.
This will be better. He kept repeating to himself, replacing Badminton’s voice in his head as he found his way back to Bridgeport.