Work Text:
Captain Stede Bonnet
November 16th, 1717
Exceptional day for the ship Revenge. Having no commercial or otherwise vessel in our sights, endeavored to opt toward another type of pirate plunder, buried treasure!
As our ships stores were in need of oranges, as ship chef informed – due to his own misuse of the fruit and no other reason – we sailed to the island of Saint Augustine. During said shopping for oranges, was more fortunate to find among the docks a purveyor of maps, one of which was obtained for an entirely reasonable sum, that had high hopes of being recouped by the ensuing treasure.
Part of the impetus behind this perfectly reasonable purchase of said treasure map was also for the benefit of the Revenge’s continued guest, Captain Blackbeard, personally known as Ed. An adventurous pirate such as he deserves adventure of land just as much as at sea. Ed’s continued presence aboard the ship has pushed the crew, and indeed Captain, to new heights of pirate ability and skill. Repayment for his kind instruction and devoted attention could never be fully given, no matter how many formal dinners or skill scarves may be shown and shared. Treasure could be shared.
Taking the Captain’s mate Mr. Spriggs as attendant, the treasure map was followed through the jungle with great admiration and enthusiasm on all parts. The journey included the discovery of a Dryocampa Rubicunda specimen – not collected. Luncheon proved an unusual and excellent affair of a cooked snake by Ed himself, a most talented chef should a change in profession be desired. Indeed, there may be nothing, if he were to put his mind and energy toward it, that Ed could not accomplish in this world, even the demeanor and cut of a gentleman, as he has the bearing and the natural wit already present in his character.
Alas, due to partial destruction of the map, the only discovery finally made with Ed and Mr. Spriggs, as vigilant and fervent companions, was that of a petrified orange. Certainly, we would not have even been able to decipher enough from the remains of the map to find this without Ed’s keen, professional eye. Though the treasure was minor, it proves the veracity of the map and the mission of the day. Ed said it to be a most interesting find but insisted the mastermind of the expedition and obtainer of the map keep what little booty was afforded. This did cause some sorrow that there was nothing more from our expedition to share with him as a keepsake. High hopes remain for another opportunity for plunder or treasure seeking that could provide something to give him in return.
Optimistic that this additional form of adventure and amusement keeps Ed with us on the Revenge for many more weeks, as those which have since passed with him among us – with myself as co-captain and pirate companion – have been far superior to those on the sea without him.
~~
Lucius
Nov. 16th, 1717
The vibes between Captain Bonnet and Ed yesterday were unbelievable.
Captain plans a whole treasure hunt just for Ed. (Date.) Ed cooks him dinner – even if it was a snake. (Date!) Physical contact excuses, my lord. Ed listens to some good advice – you’re welcome – and supports Captain’s ridiculous treasure map search even after the map burns? (SO SWEET. Date.) Honestly, you could cut that sexual tension with a knife.
I’m not saying I hadn’t maybe thought of it, the two of them were spending a lot of time together and, really, why else would Captain Blackbeard of all people want to spend time with Captain Bonnet who is really an idiot and a terrible pirate. Ed has been staying on our ship for weeks and I was wondering if it was just some big lead up to an elaborate death or maybe selling us into slavery or something. (I mean, pirates, right?) But this has come as something of a surprise to even me. Fearsome Captain Blackbeard and The Gentleman Pirate??? Opposites attract, I guess. (Look at me and Pete, right?)
I like my captain ten times more now. Though, I’m a bit concerned he’s not a hundred percent aware of the fact he is dating Ed, but I’m sure he’ll figure it out.
They had better fuck.
Xoxo
Lucius
~~
Black Pete
Nov. 16th
(Transcribed by Lucius Spriggs)
Captain Blackbeard has been working with Captain Bonnet on the Revenge for about three weeks now. As I saved his life once [We know that’s not true] I am ready to work with him again. I have been trying to get a private meeting with him to ask about staying on with his crew once he takes over from or kills [That’s not happening] Captain Bonnet. He’s really busy though and I don’t want to seem too eager after all, got to play it cool. [You haven’t even asked him to talk]
Captain Blackbeard is the most brilliant pirate tactician out there, probably ever. Even just being on the ship with him, I can feel myself becoming a better pirate, more bloodthirsty, more skilled with a sword. I haven’t sparred with him myself, but watching him, I think I might be able to beat him in a fight [No] with all I’ve been able to learn just from these weeks working with him. Again. Working with him again. [Not true]
I’ve even been wondering if I should change my usual dress sense and find some black leather trousers like he has. [I’m in for that] Or maybe grow out a beard? But I guess I don’t want to step on his thing, being ‘Beard Pete’ or ‘Blackbeard Pete’ would probably be too close to his name. Would want to have my own thing. With the fuckery he showed us a week back, really lets you know that image is important too. Gotta create that fear. I respect that and create fear every time I face off in a fight too. [Do you?]
Anyway, so glad he’s here and hope Captain Blackbeard never leaves!
Also, Lucius looked really cute today in his striped shirt.
[Thanks, babe]
~
Buttons [And his seagull]
Four days before the full moon, November, 1717
(Transcribed by Lucius Spriggs)
The moon waxes toward her fullness. But a few days left until the joy of a moon bathing can commence. With a new ship, crew and Captain it has been many months since I’ve been able to enjoy the splendor of a moon bathing. I’ve written a ballad for the occasion to play on me flute. I considered words as well but Karl has better lyrical writing than I. Either way, I intend to enjoy the full night’s pleasure. Tis no better way to cleanse the body and soul than with a moon bathing.
For the night itself, I thought it best to start at the stern, tis a good high point and wouldn’t be in the Captain’s way should he be out. May need to move depending upon what direction the ship takes but, being first mate, I reckon I can move us if needed to follow her sweet majesty. In fact, I been wonderin’ if taking in a moon bathing from every angle of the ship might be helpful. Sure, will be me doing the moon bathing but a man is always connected to his ship. My moon bathing might help the ship too and I’d want to spread that around the whole way.
Karl says for bird moon bathing – [He just stared at the gull for a bit and then the gull squawked and Buttons kept looking at me like I should know what the hell a bird says. So I am just writing this down so he thinks I’ve written something for the freaky gull.]
A pity Karl’s wife doesn’t partake of the moon bathing! But even having a lady bird on the boat could bring ill, less likely for sure, but I don’t reckon messing with fate. It has come for me before and I won’t be trapped again!
I eagerly await the moon bathing for every inch of me skin to feel the – [Okay I’m not writing anymore of this]
~~
Oluwande
16 November, 1717
(Transcribed by Lucius Spriggs)
So, Jim has left, off to finish their revenge mission because of Nana on Saint Augustine. I think I learned more about Jim just that day than in the year I’d known them before. I guess that’s a good thing but makes me sad to hear about everything that happened to them. I want to say I wish it hadn’t happened but, if it hadn’t, then we might not have met.
What else… regular day back on the ship, sunny but not too hot. Captain Bonnet and Captain Blackbeard were practicing a rope swing from one ship level to the next. Took Captain Bonnet a lot of tries to not fall and he’s still not that good at it. At least he’s not falling now, I guess. Surprised he hasn’t broken something.
I mostly worked on rope making all day. Always need more ropes. Plus, the Captain didn’t give me anything else to do, so just kept going.
Had been down to my room for a bit, but all of Jim’s things are in there. I think it puts my head in a bad place. Just keep thinking about them over and over, worrying where they are or if they finally met someone better with a knife. Can’t think like that, so staying on deck more instead. I might just give up the room to one of the others.
I miss Jim. Guess that’s pretty obvious. I think I had been focusing a lot on keeping them hidden and then trying to help them. Now I’m not sure what to do without them here.
~~
Jim**
Día 46 en el lam Día 2 - Venganza por mi linaje, Venganza por los mansos, La Divina Venganza de Dios [Continuación]
He decidido comenzar mi búsqueda de venganza nuevamente después de ver a Nana. Un hombre, aunque fuera Aldeo de la Vaca, no basta. Debo encontrar al resto de los Siete Gallos y matarlos también. ¿Qué pensaría mi familia si no lo hiciera? Supongo que es mi destino.
Solo lamento tener que dejar atrás a Oluwande.
Voy a buscar al idiota esposo camarero de Jackie, Geraldo, para obtener un poco de ventaja.
~~
Wee John
Entry 1, November, 1717
(Transcribed by Lucius Spriggs)
I’ve never written a diary before, probably because I can’t write. So I don’t know what to say.
I asked Lucius, apparently it can be everyday things! It was sunny out today. I wore the same shirt I always do, and I –
Lucius says not things like that because it’s too boring for him to write. Okay.
I have a room now with Frenchie. We are adding a sitting nook. I think it would be even nicer if we could get flowers. My mother liked flowers. But not sure where we can get those on a ship? Maybe we could borrow the Captain’s cup plant. Aren’t pirate crews supposed to share the booty? I know he pays us, but why does he get to keep the whole plant?
Also, should I have been a tailor? I made dresses with me mother but I don’t think they let men make dresses to get paid for. Doesn’t matter, I’m a pirate now anyhow.
Lucius said I don’t have to say ‘the end’ but I like how it sounds. The end.
~
Roach
Recipe 66, 1717
(Transcribed by Lucius Spriggs)
Rump Roast
(4 lb) rump roast [Beef preferred]
3 garlic cloves
1 tablespoon salt [Scrape off the salted pork if needed]
1 tablespoon pepper [10 tablespoons if the Captain insults my cake again]
1 onion
1 cup water [Not salt water, unless you have to, it’s still water]
Prep the roast by making 4-5 slits in the roast and filling the holes with salt, pepper and 1/2 of a clove of Garlic.
Now Salt and Pepper the rest of the roast.
Cook for 20 minutes per lb. on fire or until the crew starts to get annoying and just get it over with
Then add the water, the chopped onion and shove in fire once more and tell the crew to shut up
NOTE: If beef unavailable, measure The Swede’s ass again. (Ask Buttons, he’s keeping a close eye)
~~
The Swede
Entry 1
(Transcribed by Lucius Spriggs)
[He just started signing at me, different one that he did at the Fuckery (I think, I was a bit out of it that night what with being infected and all). I’ll admit it was beautiful and took a full ten minutes, but I think he thought that I could write down the song? I don’t speak Italian and you can’t write music like that. So here’s an entry]
The Swede sung a song. The End.
~
Frenchie
Nov. 17th
(Transcribed by Lucius Spriggs)
First off, I think my flag was the best. I know this was weeks ago but we never got around to deciding whose flag to fly and then mine got taken by the English so it wouldn’t be a fair vote anyway.
Cats. Cats are terrifying. Everyone knows and if anyone says they’re not afraid of cats then either they are lying or they are a witch too. Why do you think witches have cats? Vampires can turn into bats, witches turn into cats. It’s just facts. So why would anyone want to be around a witch as a cat pretending to be a small safe animal?
Plus, cats aren’t safe at all. They hiss and bite and scratch and when they stare at you for more than a second they can see into your soul and learn all your secrets and then put a curse on you. The black ones especially can disappear into shadows so you won’t know when a cat might be right behind you, lurking.
I know you’re going to say but they purr and like to be petted. Obviously, that’s a trick. First off, how do we know the purring is a good sound? It’s a rumble and rumbles lead to things like earthquakes, not good. Second, petting gets your hand near their mouth full of teeth or their feet full of knives. It’s just a trap. Cats aren’t just terrifying because of the basic things but because they can trick you too. Makes them even more dangerous.
That’s why I won’t sail on a ship with a cat, I’d rather have the mice and rats.
A dog would be nice though. I’d quite like a ship pet.
~~
Ivan
Thursday, November
Why hasn’t Lucius asked me to pose for a sketch yet? Did I say something? Did he hear about me helping with putting Fang’s dog down? I had to follow the ‘no ship pets’ rule. It wasn’t my fault and that was years ago! Everyone else has been sketched except the spewer and he doesn’t count.
Maybe I can ask Fang to put in a good word.
~~
Fang
Entry 21
Once we hit port again, getting a frame for my sketch from Lucius.
~~
Israel Hands
Entry 569 – 1717
The Official Papers of First Mate Israel Hands of the Great Pirate Captain Blackbeard
Yesterday, I finally found Calico Jack and was able negotiate his part in my plan with the English. He agreed to encourage and, if needed, kidnap Captain Blackbeard away from the ship Revenge and that idiotic Bonnet before the English arrive. I gave him three days and enough money to encourage speed. I also told him I would run him through if he failed.
In Blackbeard’s current state, I think Jack should be able to handle the job. I know the Captain can be swayed by nostalgia and his instincts are not as sharp in the presence of that man, though I hate to admit any fault or weakness to Captain Blackbeard. I have never seen him like this before and, as first mate, it is my job to protect him from such influences as supposed Captain Bonnet. Weakness leads to death and Bonnet makes my Captain weak. This plan will save my Blackbeard.
I am wracking my brain to try and figure out why this Bonnet has such a hold on my Captain. He’s fucked around before, as any Captain should and deserves to, part of the reason I chose Jack to send, but it’s never been like this, never lasted so long. I told him he treats Bonnet like a pet but I think it’s worse than that. I tried to fix it myself but Bonnet found a way to slither out of it again with that duel. He’s no real pirate, just a bored, fancy man who makes a laughing stock of my Captain.
I can’t let this happen, not to my Captain, not to The Captain Blackbeard. He was the terror of the sea! No one was as powerful or as feared or as skilled a sailor and pirate. No one else is as powerful or as feared. He still is, he still will be, with me at his side, Captain Blackbeard will return to the man he really is, fearsome and fearless, sword in hand, killing anyone who stands in our way.
I will not let this stupid, puffed up idiot be Blackbeard’s downfall because he smiles and wears shinny outfits that for some reason Ed takes a liking to. I won’t let it happen. I will get my Captain away from Bonnet, back to his real ship and his real crew.
Then Bonnet can learn what happens to real pirates when they’re caught.
~~
Captain Blackbeard
November 17th, 1717
(Transcribed by Lucius Spriggs
Strict secrecy required under pain of stabbing in the face)
So we followed a fucking treasure map around Saint Augustine and Stede found a petrified orange. That was it, that was the whole ridiculous day on land.
And we had snake for lunch. I cooked it. It was pretty good.
All right, fine, that wasn’t what the whole day was. I tried to tell him I needed to leave, been here too long anyway, I do have my own ship, right? And then he comes up with this fake map and this treasure hunt idea, finding bugs and eating around a fire. For what? To find a rock orange? No, it was for me, fine, I know that. He did it for me, to make me stay, to make me… happy, I guess.
The look on his face though, when he thought he’d found something, when I told him the map could still work. I haven’t seen someone out on the sea with joy like that, with such plain passion and excitement for something. Everyone out here, all the pirates I know, they’re all the same – drink, fuck, pillage, sail, on and on – but not him. He’s different; he’s new.
I know what I’m starting to… I’m not an idiot, I know, but him? I don’t think he does, I mean, how can he? I’m Blackbeard, I’m not something you… I’m not someone you care about, not like that. I’m just some adventure to him, right? If I leave, he’s just alone on his ship and the adventure is gone. That’s the point.
But it’s not. It’s also not, right? Cause he took me to that fancy party, not an adventure for him. He talked to me in the bathtub, not things you do with Captain Blackbeard. It’s like… it’s like he actually sees me, me, not the scary pirate Captain.
But that’s not all I am, not just the things he smiles at. He’s going to see the bad part of me, sooner or later. So what, I just wait around until something happens and he hates me? I don’t want to see that. I don’t want him to hate me.
I want… I want to stay. I want to listen to him read books out of that insane library. I want to see him put on plays pretending they are frightening. I want to touch the fine fabric over his arms. I want to teach him to sword fight until he is actually good at it. I want to sit in his cabin drinking out of unbroken glasses. I want him to fall asleep on my arm. I want him to smile at me, to laugh at my stories, I want him under the moon light again, I want – Fuck, enough.
I know I should leave, because I know what I feel right now and that’s not safe, but… but I also don’t want to leave feeling this good now. Plus, I worry about what the fuck might happen to that mad man if he keeps trying to be a pirate without me.
I worry about what I’m going to be like again without him.