Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I don't know why I am feeling
So sorrowful at heart.

“So what are we looking at, Gideon?

Captain Sara Lance clapped her hands together, eager to begin the next mission. The rest of the Legends had gathered opposite her, on the other side of the central console in the middle of the bridge, and were looking up at Gideon’s disembodied head expectantly.

“A magical creature alert in 1966 Santa Cruz, California,” Gideon announced while a picture of the Santa Cruz shoreline appeared on the numerous screens embedded in the central console. As the Waverider’s AI continued her explanation, the image was overlaid, one by one, with various newspaper clippings detailing the events that had set off the Legends’ magical bones-powered alarm system.

“It appears that the male inhabitants of the city have taken to the sea to gain the attention of a blonde female who is in all likelihood the magical creature in question,” Gideon explained.

“Sounds like business as usual to me.” Sara shrugged. “Surfers will be surfers after all.”

“Not quite,” Gideon replied as shaky black-and-white footage from a Super 8 camera appeared onscreen.

Sara recognized the scene’s location as Santa Cruz beach with the Giant Dipper, the amusement park’s huge wooden rollercoaster, looming in the background. A woman with long, blonde hair was walking along the boardwalk, away from the camera. Even from just the receding view of her back, Sara could tell that she was a knockout.

“She’s hot!” Mick Rory agreed loudly. In an unprecedented show of interest in anything mission-related, he had removed the beer bottle from his lips and was leaning over one of the monitors, studying the video intently.

Ray Palmer, Nate Heywood and John Constantine were similarly absorbed in the footage, while Zari Tomaz rolled her eyes and then shared a long-suffering look with Charlie, their resident shapeshifter.

Onscreen, the woman continued walking towards the Dipper as the footage became even more shaky – the person holding the camera had obviously started running after her.

Along her way, the blonde passed various surfers, an ice cream vendor and two police officers on patrol, all of whom turned their heads to gape after her. The lone other woman on the boardwalk, a mother taking a walk with her toddler, appeared as bemused as Zari and Charlie by the effect the blonde was having on the men.

After a few more seconds during which the camera was steadily gaining on the blonde, she finally turned around towards it. The camera’s shaking came to an abrupt stop as its operator screeched to a halt, and when Sara got her first good look at the woman’s face she could certainly sympathize: the blonde was breathtakingly gorgeous.

Her face was accentuated by pronounced cheekbones, full lips and a sharp jawline. Sara could imagine how silky and smooth her skin would feel just by looking at it. Her hair was so sleek that, even through the black-and-white filter of the camera, it glowed almost golden in the California sun. It was falling in soft waves over one of her shoulders and drew Sara’s gaze to her slender neck which was adorned with a delicate gold necklace. Her expressive eyes were fair, blue if Sara were to guess, and even though her overall expression was one of annoyance, Sara was struck by how sad they looked.

Like Sara, the men who had already been entranced by the woman to begin with seemed even more enchanted now that they had seen her face. They started to move towards her until she was all but surrounded by them. Sara noted with concern how the woman’s expression shifted from annoyance to anxiety.

Instead of saying something to stop their approach, the blonde pressed her lips together and held out her hands in a defensive gesture. The men, including the camera operator, took no note of it but continued to advance on the woman, who was looking more and more distressed, until she finally opened her mouth.

The shouted stop was clearly legible on her lips even without the benefit of an audio track.

As soon as the word had left her mouth, her face scrunched up in horror and she pressed both hands against her lips as if to keep in anything else she might have wanted to say.

While the woman remained frozen like this, the group of men erupted in a sudden frenzy of motion. The footage became shaky again as the camera operator along with the others scrambled off the boardwalk, down the short embankment and across the beach until they reached the water’s edge. Instead of stopping there, they flung themselves, fully-clothed, into the ocean and started to frantically swim away from the shore.

The camera soon disappeared beneath the waves, and the male members of the Legends finally snapped out of their trance as soon as the video flickered out.

Sara blinked. Although nowhere near as affected as the men, she still had to shake her head a little to regain her focus.

She cleared her throat. “Definitely not your average surfer babe, then,” she said, affecting a broad California accent to cover her dazed state.

“Definitely not,” Nate agreed, looking a little worse for wear. “Gideon show us a translation of Die Lore-Ley by Heinrich Heine, please.”

“Really, squire? Poetry?” John scoffed. “How’s that going to help us catch this bird?”

Nate’s intent became clear, however, as soon as the first words of the poem appeared onscreen.

“According to 19th century German folklore, numerous shipwrecks on the river Rhine were actually the work of the Lorelei, a mythical creature taking the form of an exceptionally beautiful woman. She supposedly haunted a section of the river that was famous for its eerie echoes, craggy reefs and treacherous undercurrents, making ship’s passage extremely dangerous. The Lorelei sat on a cliff that overlooked the reefs, singing and combing her golden hair and, like a siren, enchanted passing fishermen with her beauty and song.”

Nate paused for a moment to point out a specific verse of the poem.

The boatman is seized by wild yearning
While guiding his small craft downstream.
His eyes from the rocks ahead turning,
He looks up, lost in a dream.

“They all drowned,” Nate concluded succinctly, and Sara felt the hair at the back of her neck stand up.

“Just like those men at the boardwalk,” she murmured and was suddenly overcome with memories: the unbearable burning sensation in her chest as she tried to hold in her breath; the stabbing pain in her eyes and ears as the water pressed into them; the terror when she finally couldn’t keep herself from swallowing anymore, when she felt liquid seep into her lungs and the inky blackness of the ocean flooded her mind.

She balled her hands into fists, pressing her fingernails into the callused skin of her palms for several moments before releasing the pressure abruptly. As always, rubbing her fingertips over the crescent-shaped indents she had made had a calming effect on her.

“Thank you, Gideon,” Nate said.

The poem disappeared, leaving the monitors to show the topmost of the newspaper clippings: an article from the Santa Cruz Sentinel featuring a large photograph of their Lorelei.

Despite the grainy quality of the black-and-white image, Sara was again overwhelmed by the woman’s beauty. She very deliberately pressed her fingertips into the indents in her palms and thought back to the fate of the men at the boardwalk.

This was no woman, but a monster that killed men in the cruelest way imaginable, and Sara vowed to herself, then and there, that she would do anything to stop that monster.

With a resolute flick of her hand, she wiped the newspaper clipping offscreen and looked up to address the Legends, “You heard the man. With what we’re facing, this is gonna be a ladies and shifters only mission. You boys stay on the ship and keep radio silence – I don’t want that creature mesmerizing you via our comms.”

All eyes remained fixed on the captain, waiting for her requisite snazzy send-off, and although Sara really wasn’t in the mood, she didn’t want to disappoint.

“Alright, dudes, put on your baggies and wax down your boards, we’re going surfin’ USA!” she exclaimed to appreciative grins and nods from the Legends.

Not her best effort, but she couldn’t quite bring herself to go for the more effective drowning-themed pun.

Chapter Text

The cool evening air makes me shiver 
As I watch the Rhine's gentle flow.

Sara sighed as she took off her oversized tortoiseshell sunglasses and squinted along the boardwalk. At the far end of it, the Dipper was all but invisible, shrouded in dense coastal fog. She really should have asked Gideon about the weather conditions before fabricating her time-appropriate but now wholly unsuitable outfit.

It was unlike her to be so negligent. She prided herself on being a good tactician, on always thinking of all the angles.

Sara fiddled with the time courier Director Green had ever so graciously let them keep. She considered using it now to pop back to the ship and change her outfit but then decided against it. She didn’t like to be overly dependent on Time Bureau technology, made it a rule to only use it in emergencies in fact, and her wardrobe gaffe, while inconvenient, certainly didn’t qualify. Despite her best laid plans, the Legends’ missions had a habit of going sideways after all, so Sara was used to adapting to inconvenient circumstances.

Still, dressed only in short shorts and a sleeveless crop top, she couldn’t help but shiver in the brisk mid-morning air. She wrapped her arms around her body to ward off some of the cold before starting her trek towards the Dipper.

The boardwalk was all but deserted, with not a surfer in sight and when Sara looked towards the sea, she could see why: under its thick blanket of fog, the ocean seemed unusually placid, the smooth surface of the water almost undisturbed by waves. Sara didn’t particularly like the sea, for obvious reasons, but like this it was strangely beautiful. For once, the sight of it actually calmed her, made her feel at peace even – maybe because it reminded her of the lazy Sunday afternoons of her childhood.

Since the night that had changed her life so thoroughly, Sara hadn’t spent much time reminiscing about Starling City beach. Now, however, it almost felt as if she was back there again as she vividly remembered the chill of the blue icebox her dad would haul across the sand, the scent of the sunscreen her mom would lather onto her back, and the peal of Laurel’s laughter as she’d dunk Sara underneath the waves.

The longer she looked out to sea, though, the more she got the impression that there was something eerie about the stillness. The absence of waves seemed unnatural to her all of a sudden, and she quickly shook her head to clear her thoughts.

She started walking again and tapped her comms to contact Zari and Charlie who were searching the rides at the east end of the boardwalk for the Lorelei.

“Any sign of her?”

“Nope,” Zari replied, her voice sounding strangely muffled.

“I couldn’t find anything either,” Charlie chimed in.

“Keep looking, and be careful! There’s something off about this whole situation. The ocean’s giving me the creeps – and I mean more than usual,” Sara murmured and then added as an afterthought, “Oh, and Zari, stop stuffing yourself with theme park food – it’ll give you a heart attack someday!”

Zari muttered, “Yes, mom,” but cut the comms before Sara could react.

In the brief time they had talked, she had arrived at a construction site. By the four candy-colored towers, she could easily recognize the half-finished ride as a chair lift. The area was abandoned for the weekend, and Sara was about to continue on her way, when she heard a soft noise. It almost sounded like somebody humming to themselves.

She avoided the creaky-looking gate and nimbly climbed over the site fence, soundlessly dropping down on the other side of it. The construction site was left open to the seaside and Sara was struck again by the ocean’s unnatural stillness which seemed even more pronounced here than before.

Now that she was closer to the noise, she realized that it really was somebody – a woman – lowly humming a melody that Sara had never heard before. It came from the direction of the leftmost tower, and Sara started creeping towards it, careful not to make a sound.

Sara saw her as soon as the tower’s base came into view.

She was standing by the base, leaning her back against it, with her face turned towards the sea. Her eyes were closed, so Sara thought it safe to observe her for a moment.

She was taller than Sara and surprisingly athletic. Unlike Sara, she was dressed for the weather, wearing a shiny blue raincoat over her colorful summer dress, with her hair partly hidden underneath a headscarf. At her neck, Sara could see the glint of the gold necklace that Sara had noticed her wearing in the video as well. From this angle, Sara couldn’t get a good look at her face, but she was suddenly assaulted by a vivid memory of how it had appeared in the newspaper photographs and the Super 8 footage – she really was the most beautiful woman Sara had ever seen.

In her fascination with the woman, Sara had forgotten to tread carefully, and she cursed quietly as she stumbled over a plank that the construction workers had left lying around haphazardly.

The humming stopped abruptly as the woman’s eyes snapped open, and she turned her head towards Sara. Both of them seemed frozen for a moment, and Sara felt mesmerized by the woman’s eyes which really were as blue and sad-looking as she had imagined.

Sara was suddenly brought out of her trance by the woman’s swift movements, and could only look on in surprise as she jumped down onto the beach and ran towards the sea at a pace that Sara would not have thought her capable of.

She quickly followed suit and noted with glee that the woman’s movements were impeded by her summer dress, letting Sara catch up with her by the time they had reached the water’s edge.

The woman seemed to have anticipated this, however, and she surprised Sara again when she suddenly turned mid-run to grab her by the arm. As soon as she had a firm hold on Sara’s arm, the woman came to an abrupt halt and used Sara’s momentum to fling her towards the sea.

Sara landed face first in the water and immediately felt panic rise within her as her throat closed up reflexively. She couldn’t move, it was as if she was paralyzed all of a sudden, unable even to push her arms underneath herself or lift her head those few inches out of the shallow water. Time seemed to slow down as the ocean’s darkness began to invade her mind once again.

Just as suddenly as she had stopped, she started breathing again when she was yanked out of the water and turned onto her back. Sara sputtered out the little water that had seeped into her mouth and heaved a few gasping breaths. She groggily opened her eyes to find the woman leaning over her, a concerned expression on her face. The woman lifted her hand to gently cup Sara’s cheek and seemed lost in thought for a moment before she stood up abruptly and ran back towards the boardwalk.

Sara finally found the strength to push up on her elbows and looked after her as she disappeared into the distance.

Chapter Text

That echoes down off the summit
And casts a melodic spell.

Sara woke up abruptly.

That in itself was not unusual – Sara was plagued by nightmares, so she hardly ever slept through the night.

She was used to it. So much so that it sometimes seemed like the only dreams she ever had were nightmares, like the only things she ever dreamt of were that night on the Gambit and what she’d done afterwards to survive.

She was never too clear on the details, though, because even immediately after waking up, what she could remember from her nightmares was always hazy and fragmented. How much distress they caused her was usually her only clue as to what exactly had happened in her dreams.

With this dream, though, she merely had to close her eyes, and she could see it all again, could recall every little detail.

Sara was back at the beach construction site, leaning against one of the unfinished towers of the chair lift and looking out to sea. Unlike this morning, the ocean was raging, with angry waves crashing against the shore.

It made her anxious, made her want to turn away or close her eyes, but she found that she was frozen in place and couldn’t even blink. She was forced to keep looking at the raging sea and could do nothing against the familiar dread creeping up on her.

And all at once, she was back on the Gambit again.

She was kissing Oliver, laughing with him, and all the while she was thinking about Laurel – about how excited she’d been to move in with him, about her smile when she’d talked of marrying him, about how heartbroken she would be if she ever found out, about how selfish Sara was being.

Then there was only the water.

Even though Sara should have known it was coming, it still surprised her – just like the first time. And just like the first time, she was stunned by how wholly unfamiliar it felt, how it was nothing like the water she knew from drinking or showering or swimming – the brackish, foul taste of it in her mouth, the stinging pain of it flushing into her nose, the force and weight and blackness of it as it dragged her down.

Before it could swallow her up completely, though, Sara heard the humming again.

Just as suddenly as she’d left, she was back at the beach, and the woman was there. With her eyes still glued to the ocean, Sara couldn’t see her. She could only hear that strange melody and look on in wonder as the sea calmed down – and her mind along with it.

When she’d gotten back to the ship, still dripping water all over the corridors, Sara had hummed the woman’s melody to Gideon. Yet, despite the countless databases at her disposal, their AI had been unable to find a match for it.

She would ask Gideon to try again in the morning, though, for in her dream, Sara had heard more of the melody than only the few snippets she had picked up at the beach. It felt important to find out everything she could about it – especially why it had let her relive her childhood memories for the first time since the Gambit.

Sara wasn’t sure how to feel about that yet. She didn’t like to think too much about her life before the Waverider. It felt like time had turned even her happiest memories from back then bittersweet, like everything that had been joyful about them was now tainted with the sadness of knowing what came afterwards.

What good would it do to dwell on these things? Why think too hard about how many beer cans her dad had always crammed into that blue ice box? Why look back on how it felt to realize that putting sunscreen on her kids’ backs felt like a chore to her mom? These were things that didn’t need further thinking about. And then there were the things that didn’t even need remembering, that were ever-present, like the fact that she would never get to hear Laurel’s laughter ever again.

Still, this morning, even if it was for a just a moment, she had forgotten all about that. She had just felt happy to remember their family outings at the beach. Sara didn’t understand how the woman – or her melody – had managed that, why she’d even bothered to do it in the first place.

When she’d first read the poem, the Lorelei’s powers had seemed pretty straightforward to her: her beauty and song enchanted her victims, distracting them so much that they lost control of their boats in the treacherous waters and drowned.

That didn’t really match her experience from this morning, tough. Why would the Lorelei calm the sea if she wanted it to devour her victims? Why would she calm someone’s mind or bring back happy memories if she wanted to distract them? Or was that just something that she did to Sara?

Come to think of it, the poem also didn’t match what they had seen in the Super 8 video. The men at the boardwalk had been enchanted by the woman’s beauty, that much was true, but as soon as they had heard her voice, they had turned away from her and fled – almost as if they were afraid of her.

Sara finally acknowledged that with all these thoughts running through her head, she wouldn’t be going back to sleep anytime soon. With a sigh, she got out of bed, put on her Rockets hoodie over her tank top and wandered towards the galley to get something to drink.

Gideon had dimmed the corridor lights for the night, and for once the ship, that was usually bustling with so much activity, was quiet, safe for the comforting hum of the engines.

To her surprise, Sara found the galley already occupied, and she almost turned around on her heels right away. She really wasn’t in the mood for any more of her crew’s good-natured ribbing about how she, a trained assassin, had let a mere siren pull one over on her. In the end, she decided against leaving, though – even being teased some more seemed better than uselessly sitting around in her quarters for the rest of the night.

Nate was leaning against the counter, drinking a glass of water, and Sara nodded at him before getting a glass for herself.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” she asked him.

Nate shook his head and took another sip of his water. “No, I did some more research on the Lorelei and forgot the time.”

Sara perked up at this. “What did you find out?”

“Even though 19th century folklore made it sound like the story of the Lorelei was some ancient legend, it actually originated from a literary fairy tale that Clemens Brentano wrote as late as 1801. He portrayed the Lorelei as a heartbroken woman cursed with the ability to make every man fall for her.”

Nate turned to pick up the tablet computer that was lying on the counter behind him and started tapping on it while he said, “Wait a minute, Cap, I’ll just show you.”

He held out the tablet for Sara to look at. On it, another poem was displayed, this one much more lengthy than the first, and Sara really wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that all their background info on this mission seemed to come from poems – they didn’t exactly seem reliable to her and yet she was basing their entire strategy for capturing the Lorelei on them.

As with the first poem, Nate had highlighted a specific verse.

Life I no longer cherish,
Lord bishop let me die.
For everyone must perish
Who looks into my eye.

“It says everyone,” Sara noted. “Has the Lorelei ever affected women?” she asked, thinking back to how strangely fascinated she had been with the woman this morning.

Nate frowned, “No, I don’t think so. The rest of the poem makes it pretty clear that it’s only men who fall for her. In fact, she’s irresistible to any man who sees her – well, except for one: her sweetheart. He betrayed her in some way, that’s why she’s so heartbroken.”

Now, it was Sara’s turn to frown. The woman didn’t strike her as the type to have male sweethearts. When it came to these things, Sara had a sort of sixth sense that really came in handy when she needed a little distraction during their more tedious missions.

She yawned. They should probably wrap this up and try to go back to sleep. “Did you find out anything else that might be important?”

“I think that the Lorelei may be tethered to a specific place. Originally, it was that cliff over the Rhine, but now it seems to be the boardwalk. So I think there’s a pretty good chance we’ll catch her there eventually if we just keep looking,” Nate said before yawning as well.

“Good work, Nate, thanks for looking into this. I want you to continue your research – get John to help you. I want to know everything there is to know about her.”

Nate nodded, picked up his tablet again and went back to his quarters, but Sara lingered in the galley for just a moment longer.

Life I no longer cherish,
Lord bishop let me die.

Sara thought back to how sad the woman’s eyes had looked. Maybe she wasn’t a monster after all – she had saved Sara’s life when she had nothing to gain from it.

Sara lifted her hand up to her face to run her fingertips over her left cheek. When she closed her eyes, it was as if she could still feel the imprint of the woman’s palm on her skin.

Chapter Text

So wretched I should perish
When I look at my face.

The mouldy smell of rotting wood and decaying seaweed was almost overwhelming down here. She couldn’t help but wrinkle her nose as she wrapped her raincoat more tightly around her body – it was cold in the shadows underneath the pier.

Still, this was the best she could do for now. Even without the woman’s interference, she wouldn’t have been able to stay at the construction site: the workers were back – all of them men.

She looked out towards the murky, gray haze swirling over the beach. The ocean was all but invisible and so placid, that you could hardly hear the gentle waves lapping at the shoreline. Like this, she could almost deceive herself into believing that it wasn’t even there.

She shivered again and tried to remember when she’d last seen the sun. It must have been that day at the boardwalk. It was warmer here than back home, the sunshine brighter, and the day had been so lovely that she hadn’t even noticed them at first.

She hummed a few notes of her melody to keep the fog from dissipating. She felt that the cover it afforded was the only thing standing between her and another disaster.

At least back home, the fishermen had been few and far between. The knowledge of her villainy had kept them away – for back home, men regaled each other with tales of her sins over glasses of beer; mothers told their children of her atrocities to scare them into eating their vegetables; teenagers whispered about her cruelty around bonfires to make each other giggle in excited horror.

Here, though, they didn’t know about her yet. They didn’t understand what she was capable of, had no idea what she would inevitably do to them when she finally couldn’t hide from them anymore.

She thought back to the men at the boardwalk. She could remember each one of them, could still picture each individual face and the little details that she knew would haunt her from now on: their colorful shirts and work uniforms, their wedding bands, the misshapen bracelets put together by their children.

Back home, sitting up high, it had been different. She’d only had to look at them from afar, had never never been close enough to see their faces. But the echoes of their screams and their desperate prayers had still reached up to her.

She didn’t know what was worse, and she vowed that she wasn’t going to find out anytime soon because she would prevent a repeat of what happened at the boardwalk for as long as possible. Here, at least, she could still hide – even though it was proving more and more difficult.

She had been too exposed back home, so clearly visible on that cliff, that all the fog in the world couldn’t hide her from them. And once they saw her, it was already too late. She could hum all she wanted, it was no use: even in the calmest waters, they needed to look ahead to make the passage, not stare up at her.

She felt like crying all of a sudden, and she tugged at the gold chain around her neck – as hard as she could. As always, it didn’t give in the slightest. She knew how sturdy it was despite its delicate looks.

At least she had been able to save the woman.

Ava had been thinking about her a lot since yesterday, wondering who she was and why she had come looking for her.

After she’d flung her into the ocean, Ava had been about to turn away and run when she’d noticed that the woman wasn’t moving anymore. She hadn’t wanted that, hadn’t wanted to actually hurt her. She’d been terrified at the thought of having yet another soul on her conscience, but when she’d pulled her out of the water, the woman had started breathing again.

She’d looked unnaturally pale, with wet hair sticking to her face and her mouth wide open, gasping for air. Even as bedraggled as this, she was beautiful. Ava had already thought so from afar, but seeing her up close had made Ava’s breath catch in her throat. She only noticed that she had cupped the woman’s cheek when she was already touching her, when she was already feeling the softness of her skin. Ava had looked into her eyes then and was struck by how piercingly blue they were – like the gentle waters of the Rhine inlets her mother had let her swim in as a child.

Like yesterday, Ava had to shake herself out of the daze the memories had put her in. She really was starved for human contact if just being able to look somebody in the eye for once, being able to touch them for once, put her in such a state.

She was startled out of her thoughts by the distant droning of what she’d come to learn was the engine of a motor boat. Ava shrunk bank further into the shadows – like back home, boats were only ever captained by men around here.

She stepped behind one of the pillars supporting the pier as she heard the boat approach the shore. After a moment, the engine sputtered off. Through the dense wall of fog, she could just about make out the boat’s silhouette and see a man jump out of it to drag it ashore. As he was drawing closer, he suddenly looked straight at her, and she tensed, her fingers gripping the rough wood in front of her. He only glanced briefly at the pier, though, and then crouched down to secure his boat. Ava breathed a sigh of relief – she was well hidden by the fog and the shadows.

“Don’t move,” someone said quietly.

Ava didn’t need to turn around to know that it was the woman.

As instructed, she kept her hands on the pillar and stood stock-still. She could hear the woman approach from behind and her voice sounded much closer when she ordered, “Put your hands behind your back.”

The feeling of being put in chains should have been familiar to Ava, but the woman was much more careful than she was used to. “I don’t want you trying to drown me again,” she heard her mutter under her breath, and Ava would have protested but didn’t dare to say anything with the man still so close by.

The woman turned her around then, and like yesterday, Ava couldn’t help but admire her beauty. The woman stared at her for a moment and then looked away awkwardly. It almost seemed as if she was ashamed now that she was facing Ava.

“I’ll try to put in a good word for you,” she murmured. “Maybe I can convince Green that he doesn’t need you, and we can send you back to where you came from.”

Ava’s eyes widened – why was she threatening her all of a sudden? Ava was never going back there. She started tearing at the shackles binding her hands and was surprised when she felt them break at the slightest tug.

The woman was similarly astonished, and Ava used her brief moment of confusion to shove at her and run. In her haste to get away, she had forgotten all about the man with the motorboat.

He saw her as soon as she emerged from under the pier. Ava would never get used to the open-mouthed staring – even after all these years, it still made her hair stand on end every single time.

Like yesterday, the woman was gaining on Ava. When the man saw her, he crouched over his boat again and picked up what looked like a spear attached to a rifle. For a moment, Ava was confused as to what he wanted with the strange contraption, but then he raised it and aimed it at the woman.

Ava looked back at her and saw that she hadn’t noticed it yet, so focused was she on pursuing Ava.

“No! Don’t!” Ava shouted, and the man dropped his weapon, turned around and ran towards the sea.

The woman came to an abrupt halt. She seemed torn for a moment between continuing to chase after Ava and saving the man. Eventually she ran towards the sea, but stopped again at the shoreline, obviously unable to continue into the water.

Ava felt for the woman as she looked helplessly after the man, but she wasn’t about to let herself be captured and shackled back to that cliff again. Before she could continue her escape, she saw the woman tap her ear and shout something that Ava couldn’t make out. Then she turned to look straight at Ava, and Ava was surprised, not by the hatred in her eyes – that was how people usually looked at her after all – but by how distressed she herself felt to see it this time around.

She quickly turned and continued running, up the stairs to the boardwalk, taking two steps at a time, and towards the large building that a sign proclaimed was Neptune’s Kingdom.

She knew that she should be looking for a place to hide, but her thoughts were still preoccupied with the woman. Now at least she knew. Now she knew what Ava was, what Ava was capable of. Ava hoped that she would be more careful in the future, maybe even let her be, but somehow she doubted that the woman was the type to give up so easily.

At the side of the building, she finally spotted the door to what she knew was a supply room that was hardly ever in use at this time of day. Once she had ducked inside and caught her breath, she noticed that the remains of the shackles the woman had put on her were still dangling from her left wrist. She tore them off and was again surprised by how fragile they were. Looking at them more closely, she realized that they were inscribed all over with what appeared to be pagan runes.

Ava traced the unfamiliar markings with her fingers and chuckled bitterly. What did the woman take her for? Why would she think that these could hold a good Christian woman such as Ava?

Chapter Text

The cheeks so red and white,
The eyes so fierce and fond

Sara almost ran into Zari who had come to an abrupt halt in front of a food stand on the boardwalk.

“Look at it!” Zari exclaimed with childlike wonder, and Sara craned her head to get a glimpse at what had her so fascinated. Behind a glass pane, a taffy puller was winding a neon pink piece of saltwater taffy around and around. The candy was glistening and ever-expanding as it was stretched and folded, and Zari seemed mesmerized, all but pressing her nose against the glass.

“It never falls down,” she murmured with awe in her voice, and despite her bad mood, Sara couldn’t quite suppress a fond smile at Zari’s guileless excitement.

“We need to buy some!” Zari announced in a tone that left no room for dissent, and Sara felt her smile slip.

“No, definitely not!” she replied, not even trying to hide her exasperation. “We already bought you cotton candy, a soft-serve ice cream, a chocolate banana, a caramel apple and a corndog. You haven’t even finished half of it,” she huffed while gesturing at Charlie who was still holding on to the half-eaten candied fruit and a fluff of cotton candy.

“So we are not buying any more junk food! This isn’t a pleasure jaunt, we are not here to sample every theme park snack known to man! We are on a mission to catch a dangerous magical creature, and I need you to get your head in the game!”

“Alright, Boss, don’t get your knickers in a twist,” Charlie muttered while holding up their hands in a placating gesture that was rendered wholly ineffective by the sweets still clutched in their fingers.

Sara spared a grim look at the indents Zari’s teeth had left in the caramel apple before brushing past Zari and Charlie and continuing on towards the Dipper which was once again shrouded in dense fog.

Behind her, she could hear Zari whisper something that made Charlie chuckle, but Sara just didn’t care anymore. She had had enough – enough of their antics, enough of her own ineptness, and most of all, enough of the Lorelei.

Today, they would catch her, once and for all. Sara wasn’t going to risk a repeat of yesterday, so this had to end now. While she had been stuck uselessly on the beach, Zari and Charlie had managed to save the man the Lorelei had driven into the ocean, but only just.

They had asked him why he had jumped into the sea, but all he could remember was going speargun fishing that morning. Everything that had happened once he had come back ashore was a complete blur to him.

There was more whispering and giggling behind her, and Sara whirled around to face Zari and Charlie again.

“What?” she snapped angrily.

She was beginning to regret taking them along, but she hadn’t trusted herself to face the Lorelei on her own again after being blindsided by her not once, but twice. Now, though, she couldn’t help but scowl at her teammates – those two didn’t even have the decency to look guilty over being caught talking behind her back.

“It’s just…” Zari began before trailing off.

“You seem rather tense, Boss,” Charlie chimed in.

“Yeah,” Zari agreed. “Really tense, and we were just wondering…” she hesitated for a moment before asking, “Is it because you couldn’t, you know, hook up with her?”

Sara stared at them and felt her eyebrows rise, almost of their own volition. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t let it get to you, Cap, there’s always gonna be some straight girls who are, you know, really straight,” Zari said with a smile she probably considered encouraging. “It can’t always be like 1692 Salem after all.”

“Yeah, and even if she wasn’t straight, not everybody’s as easy as what’s-her-face – that bird in New Orleans with the creepy dolls?” Charlie said.

“Didi Charbonnet,“ Zari supplied helpfully.

“Right, Didi, not everyone’s as easy as her.” Charlie looked thoughtful for a moment before adding, “Or that starlet in that Japanese horror flick.”

“Or that camp counsellor.”

“Or that barkeeper at that Mexican wrestling thing.”

“Or…”

“This is nothing like any of those times,” Sara interrupted through gritted teeth.

“If you say so,” Charlie said dubiously.

“You do think she’s hot, though, don’t you?” Zari asked.

“Of course, she’s hot. That’s her whole thing! But that doesn’t mean that I’m trying to hook up with her. She’s dangerous, I want to catch her. That’s all there is to it. There will be no hooking up of any kind. I definitely don’t want there to be any hooking up whatsoever.”

“She does protest an awful much,” Zari whispered to Charlie at a volume that made it impossible for Sara to pretend to have missed it.

“I protest just the right amount,” Sara growled, “Now you two stop this nonsense and concentrate on the mission. And remember: we see her, we grab her, we courier out of there. I’m not taking any more chances,” she added with finality before turning around again and marching onwards, quickening her steps until she had managed to leave Zari and Charlie a few paces behind her.

They had no idea what they were talking about, Sara thought grimly. She knew she had a reputation – one that was well deserved, too – but what they were suggesting was simply ridiculous.

To her right, the chairlift construction site came into view. Determined to ignore the memories it evoked, Sara averted her eyes and ended up staring straight into the gaping mouth of a clown’s face that made up the entrance to a fun house. For a moment, she scrutinized the clown’s manic eyes, his menacing grin that showed off the excessive number of teeth in his mouth and the pitch-black passageway leading into the fun house. From inside, raucous laughter and the joyful squeals of children wafted onto the boardwalk, and Sara was reminded how very much looks could be deceiving.

She pressed her fingernails into her palms and continued walking – there definitely wouldn’t be any kind of hooking up with the Lorelei.

Chapter Text

The words so soft and quiet,
Such is my magic bond.

The wooden tracks were groaning and creaking as the train clattered up the track. Ava liked watching the faces of the passengers as they went up. When they went down the plunge, they were always yelling and screaming, their faces distorted and scrunched up in exhilaration or horror. But when they went up, their faces were open and unguarded, and Ava could clearly see their awe and excitement, their joyous anticipation – even from her hidden vantage point.

Ava could still remember feeling like that, at least for a while, a long time ago.

Her parents had warned her to always stay on the well-trodden path on her way to the monastery. They trusted Ava to obey them because Ava was a good, god-fearing girl, volunteering to help the nuns care for the sick and the old. She would make a fine wife someday soon: hard-working and kindly and meek. Her parents were already talking of her betrothal. The miller’s son would be a good match they said.

They never would have guessed that she would defy them just out of curiosity. But Ava wanted to see her, the one everybody was whispering about because she was depraved and morally corrupt, but also because she was more beautiful than any other girl in the canton. And so, she didn’t stay on the path like her parents told her to. She took the narrow trail instead, the one that meandered precariously up the sheer rock face. And as she went up, she felt her face shift into an unfamiliar expression, not unlike the one on the faces of the ascending rollercoaster passengers.

When Ava reached the top, the girl was just sitting there, in front of her shabby, little hut, staring into the distance. And it really was like everybody had said: she was the most beautiful girl Ava had ever seen. Nobody had warned Ava, though, how sad-looking she would be as well.

Ava closed her eyes briefly – she really should have listened to her parents back then.

She opened her eyes again to watch the train as it reached the top and stalled there for a moment, so that the awe and excitement of its passengers could reach its peak before their joyous anticipation suddenly evaporated into yells and screams as the first car tipped over and careened down the plunge. Ava’s eyes followed the train along the rest of the rollercoaster’s circuit, hurtling up and down and weaving left and right in sharp bends and sweeping curves until it reached the end of the line. She looked on as the passengers departed, only to immediately rush back to join the line leading up to the admission gate.

Ava smiled wrily – if she could do it all over again, she would probably be just as foolish as she had been back then.

A creak to her right drew her attention away from the thrilled fairgoers. She had better keep moving if she wanted to remain undetected. It would still be several hours until nightfall when she would be able to wander around more freely, but she could always pass the time by the children’s rides. There, it didn’t matter if somebody inadvertently caught a glimpse of her because the black-and-white whales and the little roundabout and the small floating boats were only ever frequented by mothers and their children.

Sometimes, Ava marvelled at how little had changed in all the time that must have passed since her youth. She knew exactly what her life would have been like if it had really been her who married the miller’s son. It wasn’t hard to imagine.

After all, for the miller’s wife, every day would have been the same, filled with hard work around the house and in the mill. She probably would have borne the miller a couple of children, maybe more, and it would have been up to her to take care of them. And so the miller’s wife would have been chained to the house and the mill; confined to her home; to the market when she would have to run errands; to her parents’ home, sometimes, to visit with the children. Would that really have been so much better than being tethered to her cliff? Would that really have been worth it?

Even now, it seemed that a woman’s place was still with her children, in her home, and anything more exciting or adventurous was reserved for the men.

The one exception seemed to be the woman who was chasing her. Try as she might, Ava hadn’t managed to stop thinking about her, yet. As she made her way towards the children’s rides, she idly wondered whether tracking people was the woman’s occupation, whether somebody had ordered or hired her to catch Ava.

She frowned. The idea of the woman being just somebody’s lackey didn’t sit right with Ava. She liked to imagine that the woman was her own master, free to do whatever she chose.

That would be fitting for a woman who seemed so different from anybody Ava had ever known. She never would have fit in back home, and Ava got the feeling that, even here, her boldness and confidence set her apart from other women. She wondered if the woman ever felt out of place, like Ava had for all her life.

She grimaced at her own silliness. The woman and her were nothing alike, and from the way she had looked at Ava yesterday – so full of loathing and contempt – Ava knew that they would never find common ground. If she kept telling herself this often enough, she would  eventually manage to forget her – or at least stop thinking about her constantly.

The path ended suddenly, and Ava was surprised to see that she had already arrived at the river mouth. She peeked through one of the slits between the wooden planks that separated the children’s rides from the river bank.

There was nobody close by, so Ava pushed aside a loose plank and stepped through the opening to stand inside the fenced-off area.

Cheerful music was playing in the background, and Ava took a moment to observe the children and their mothers who smiled indulgently at their children’s joy and excitement. She thought briefly of her own mother, long dead by now, when something suddenly touched her hand. She looked down to find a small boy, five years old at the most, holding onto her fingers. When he noticed her staring, he glanced up at her, and his face took on a wide-eyed expression of horror.

Ava suddenly remembered the first time her mother had taken her to the market.

As an adult, Bacharach town square had seemed narrow and cramped to her, but as a four-year-old, she had marvelled at its wide expanse, at the ornate town houses lining it and at the crowd of unfamiliar townspeople.

Between the stalls that sold things which seemed utterly exotic to Ava, she’d lost her mother for a moment and immediately felt panic rise within her. But then she had spotted her blue dress again and quickly grabbed onto her hand. When she had looked up, though, it hadn’t been her mother at all, but a stranger whose hand she was holding.

Ava immediately felt her earlier terror return and started crying. The strange woman had smiled at her then and said something to Ava, in a language Ava didn’t understand. Her mother later explained that she must have been the wife of one of the French soldiers. Her mother had spat the words, having nothing but contempt for the occupying forces, but Ava always thought back fondly on the woman’s gentle smile and her strange melodious words.

The boy had started crying by now, and Ava crouched down to his level. The music in the background had changed to something that she knew, a song they had recently started playing in all the rides and stalls along the boardwalk. They played it so often that Ava almost knew it by heart.

“Do you know that song?” she asked gently and the boy nodded timidly.

She didn’t hear herself talk often, for obvious reasons, but when she did, she still found it strange to have her mouth produce those unfamiliar washed-out vowels and twangy consonants, to listen to her own soft intonation that was so different from the angular and crisp sounds of her mother tongue.

“How does the next line go? I always forget,” she murmured, putting on an expression of exaggerated confusion.

The boy thought for a moment and then mumbled along with the song, “Wouldn't it be nice to live together, in the kind of world where we belong…”

He began to trail off, but Ava nodded encouragingly and he picked the song back up while she herself started humming along. As soon as he heard her, his features relaxed and his crying stopped. Ava joined his singing on one of the next lines, and if it was strange to speak this foreign language, it was even stranger to sing in it.

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray, it might come true.
Baby, then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do.

Before they could get to the next line, Ava felt somebody grab her arms from behind and yank her out of her crouch. Strong arms pulled her back against a smaller body and held her tightly around her waist. Despite her shock, Ava recognized the woman’s harsh breathing pattern. Suddenly, the air in front of her flickered brightly and it was as if a window was torn open through which Ava could see into a different reality.

The woman shoved her through the window, and Ava turned her head to look back to the other side. The last thing she saw before the window closed again was a dark-haired woman flashing a light into the boy’s face and grabbing him by the hand.

Chapter Text

An old myth through my thoughts is reeling,
And from them will not depart.

“What did you do to the boy?” the Lorelei demanded as soon as they had portalled into the lab.

Her voice was low and somewhat gravelly, not at all how Sara had imagined a siren sounding. Sara let go of her waist, and the Lorelei whirled around, her face distorted with rage.

“Tell me! What did that woman do to him?” she asked again and started coming towards Sara. With her eyes blazing and her hair tousled from their brief struggle, she reminded Sara of a vengeful goddess for a moment, and Sara had to give it her all not to shrink back from her.

She ignored the Lorelei’s question and gripped her by the wrists instead, forcing her back towards the dais that demarcated the containment area. The other woman tried to resist her, digging her heels in and pushing back, but despite her height advantage, she was no match for Sara.

It still took Sara much longer than it should have to get her to the dais because when she looked into the Lorelei’s eyes for just a moment, she suddenly forgot. She forgot why she was even holding the Lorelei’s wrists, why they were pressed so tightly against each other. She couldn’t remember the reason for their labored breathing or the flush of exertion on the Lorelei’s cheeks, couldn’t think of anything but how close they were.

It was only when one of the Lorelei’s gasps hit her face, and Sara almost let go of her, that she finally came back to her senses. With renewed determination, she drove the Lorelei back the last couple of steps and shoved her onto the dais.

“Gideon, activate the electromagnetic barrier.”

Sara waited only just until the forcefield had surrounded the Lorelei before marching towards the door. She ignored the Lorelei’s furious yells, didn’t look back when the electromagnetic barrier started to hiss and flicker as the Lorelei ineffectually pounded her fists against it. Sara didn’t stop for anything until the door to the lab had finally closed behind her, and she could lean her back against the bulkhead next to it, squeezing her eyes shut.

She couldn’t understand how she had lost the upper hand so quickly. They had captured the Lorelei, she was a prisoner on Sara’s ship now, so why should Sara be the one to feel vulnerable and defenceless? For three days, Sara had chased her, and now that she finally had her, it felt like she couldn’t get away from her fast enough. 

Sara was suddenly furious – with the Lorelei; with her strange powers and how they seemed to affect Sara, even though they shouldn’t be able to; but most of all with herself for letting it all get under her skin like that, for not simply ignoring the Lorelei, for not being as indifferent to her as she had been towards all the other magical creatures they had captured on Green’s orders.

When Sara opened her eyes again, the corridor was briefly illuminated by a bright flash of light. With the exception of the wall holding the door, the one that Sara was leaning against right now, the walls of the lab were made of glass – for observational purposes. Now, they allowed the glares and flickers that accompanied each disturbance of the electromagnetic barrier to pass into the corridor.

Sara felt her heart rate slowly even out again as she watched the pauses between the light flashes lengthen until they finally stopped altogether, indicating that the Lorelei had given up on trying to escape from her prison.

Sara started walking towards the bridge then where the rest of the team was waiting for her. As she passed the glass walls and pointedly averted her eyes from them, she was suddenly struck by the fact that she had no idea how they were going to safely contain the Lorelei.

Sara couldn’t quite believe that she had never even thought about this before. She had been so hell-bent on catching the Lorelei, that she had never stopped to think what she would do with her afterwards.

While the cell in the lab was fine for containing your run-of-the-mill magical creature, the Lorelei’s abilities made her a bit more difficult to restrain. Her powers either had to be dampened, or Sara would have to make sure that none of the male crew members ever saw or heard her. Given how the boys had reacted to the Super 8 footage of the Lorelei, even the security surveillance feed would have to be deactivated.

Sara didn’t like the idea of not being able to see the Lorelei. For some reason, it felt imperative that she would always be able to keep an eye on her.

It would be safer this way, though – for the boys… and for everybody, really.

***

When Sara arrived at the bridge, most of the crew were sitting on the steps leading up to her office.

“Everything go all right with the kid?” Sara asked Zari.

“Sure, he’s back with his mom – won’t remember a thing.”

Sara nodded and then asked the whole group, “So how do we contain the Lorelei safely?”

She looked from one team member to the next – they seemed as stumped as she felt. When Sara caught sight of John, she frowned. He had been gallivanting around with the jump ship, mumbling about some demonic possession he had to take care of, so she hadn’t had a chance to talk to him in the last couple of days.

Now, he was slouching against the bulkhead, a bit off to the side from the others, twirling a cigarette around in his fingers and looking for all the world as if this meeting didn’t concern him in the least – when none of this would even be an issue if he had just done the one job properly that Sara had assigned to him.

“Your magical shackles don’t work on her,” she said to him, sounding overly reproachful even to her own ears.

“Well that’s not my fault, is it?” he retorted languidly and without looking up at Sara. “They’re enchanted to dampen the powers of genuine magical creatures, and they’ve been doing a very fine job of it so far,” he added with a bit of a huff. “If they didn’t work this time, then she’s obviously just a human who had the bad luck to be cursed.”

Sara frowned at him. “It wasn’t only that they couldn’t contain her powers, though. Those things were made of steel, weren’t they?”

John nodded, “Sure, the type of metal they’re made of doesn’t really matter. It’s only the runes that are important, so I had Gideon fabricate an extra sturdy pair.”

“Well, they weren’t all that sturdy when it came to her. She just tore them off like it was nothing.”

John’s bored expression suddenly turned attentive, and he pushed himself off the bulkhead to take a step closer to Sara, “Now, that is interesting,” he murmured, “Tell me exactly what happened.”

“I put the cuffs on her, and at first it seemed fine but then I must have said something that upset her because she started straining against them and tore right through them. It didn’t even look like she had to try very hard.”

John stared at Sara for a moment and muttered something under his breath that she couldn’t make out before abruptly turning away from her and wandering off in the direction of his quarters.

“Umm, excuse me?” she called after him, only to be thoroughly ignored.

She rolled her eyes and turned back towards the rest of the team, “Alright, looks like it’ll be one of those times when we’ll just have wait to find out whatever John’s cooking up. In the meantime, does anybody have an idea for containing her that doesn’t involve magic?”

“Well, there’s actually a really simple solution to our problem,” Ray piped up cheerfully, “We just turn the barrier opaque and sound-proof it. That way, we won’t see or hear anything of her.”

“And neither will she see or hear anything,” Zari glared at him, “Sensory deprivation is actually frowned upon in most polite society, you know? Probably because it’s torture.”

Charlie nodded vigorously as Ray’s proud grin turned into a guilt-stricken expression.

Faced with his obvious remorse, Zari seemed to soften a little. “Why don’t we make the barrier like one-way glass, so that we can’t see her, but she can still see us. And sound-proofing is not an option, but maybe Gideon could distort her voice as it passes through the barrier?”

“Certainly, Ms. Tomaz.”

Sara was relieved to have found a solution to their containment problem so quickly, but she still felt torn over the way they were going to do it. She still didn’t like the idea of not being able to see what the Lorelei got up to in her cell. On the other hand, it would make it easier to talk to her. There was still so much Sara wanted to learn about her and about that melody of hers, after all, and Sara just knew that interrogating the woman would come much easier to her if she didn’t have to stare into her face while doing it.

Maybe, if Sara couldn’t see her, she would eventually grow indifferent to her. Maybe, she would forget about her haunting eyes, maybe she would stop replaying their interactions over and over in her head, and maybe she would stop dreaming about her every night.

Sara suddenly noticed that the others were looking at her oddly – she must have been quiet for a moment too long.

“Seems like a solid plan,” she said with pointed indifference, “We’ll keep her here for a couple of days before we deliver her to Green, though. I want to make sure that our containment method works, first. After that whole Neron fiasco, we can’t risk another magical creature wreaking havoc on the Bureau and mesmerizing these pencil pushers into doing her bidding.”

Zari, who had been looking particularly confused at Sara’s lack of response to her suggestion, started smirking at her then.

“How very… cautious of you,” she said and raised her eyebrows at Charlie.

“Yes, very commendable, Boss,” Charlie agreed earnestly.

Sara glared at them both and then ignored them to address the rest of the team, “I’ll go talk to the Lorelei again. Tell her about what we’ll do to the barrier.”

“Again – that’s awfully thoughtful of you,” Charlie piped up once more.

“Yes, Cap,” Zari added, still wearing that annoying smirk, “You do that. Have a nice long chat with her – anything else would be downright impolite.”

Sara flipped the two of them off, and left the bridge to the sound of catcalls and wolf whistles.

***

“Please tell me what you did to him,” was the first thing the Lorelei said to Sara when she walked back into the lab.

She had sat down on the dais in the containment area by now, and with her knees drawn up and her arms folded around her shins, she seemed small, almost fragile to Sara.

“The boy is back with his mother. We have a device that can erase recent memories, so he won’t even remember he was lost.”

“He won’t remember me then?” the Lorelei asked, and Sara couldn’t quite tell whether she sounded upset or hopeful about it.

“No, he won’t.”

The Lorelei smiled faintly, and Sara suddenly recognized her expression as wistfulness.

They were quiet then, just looking at each other, but after only a moment Sara found the silence so awkward that she started to fumble for something to say. She had just decided on some inane small talk when she suddenly remembered why she was here. She cleared her throat, “I just came to let you know that we’ll make some changes to the containment field.”

At the Lorelei’s blank look, she clarified, “The – umm… invisible barrier that’s around you. We’ll make it so you can still see us, but we won’t see you, and we’ll also distort your voice.”

Sara suddenly felt silly telling her this. She couldn’t quite remember why it had felt so important to let the Lorelei know about their plan. She was their prisoner, so it wasn’t as if they owed her any explanations. No wonder Zari and Charlie had made fun of her.

For some reason, though, she didn’t seem to be able to just stop her rambling, “Just thought you should know. It’s a precaution, so my crew is safe for as long as you’ll stay on the ship.”

The Lorelei perked up at this, “You’re the captain?”

“Yeah,” Sara said, and she didn’t quite know what to make of the look the other woman gave her then.

The Lorelei’s unreadable expression suddenly turned into a frown, “What will happen to me once I’m off your ship?”

“We’ll turn you over to the organization we’re working for,” Sara admitted quietly.

A look of disappointment flickered across the Lorelei’s face. “And what will they do to me?”

Sara averted her eyes briefly to look down at her own hands. “They’ll keep you contained in a specialized facility or send you back to where you came from.”

The Lorelei got to her feet abruptly. “I can’t go back!” Just like at the beach, she seemed frantic all of a sudden.

“I can’t do anything about that,” Sara said with genuine remorse. “It’s not my decision to make. I’m just doing what I have to do.”

The Lorelei’s expression shifted then, into a sneer of utmost contempt, and all at once, Sara was seething with anger. How dare that woman judge her when she had no idea what kind of arrangement they had with the Bureau, when she knew nothing of what they had to deal with.

“What did you expect? That we would just let you go? After what you did to those men on the boardwalk, to that fisherman yesterday?”

The Lorelei was still wearing that contemptuous sneer, and it made Sara want to be cruel, made her want to hurt the Lorelei, too. “Maybe even to that boy – who knows what you would have done to him if it hadn’t been for us.”

“I was trying to help him!” The Lorelei pressed out, leaning close to the barrier now.

“Right!” Sara laughed drily. “Just like you helped those men. Or me, when you tried to drown me. I know just how helpful you can be.”

“You know nothing!” the Lorelei spat. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with, no idea who I am.”

“Oh, I know exactly who you are,” Sara growled, “No – what you are, Lorelei.”

“Don’t call me that! That’s not my name!”

“Don’t lie to me! I’ve read the poems!” As soon as she had said the words, Sara faltered for a moment over how ridiculous they sounded.

The Lorelei stared at her with an expression of utter disbelief on her face, and then she laughed, somewhat hysterically. “Oh,” she exclaimed loudly. “You’ve read the poems,” she mocked and started reciting,

“A magic wand my arm is,
My eyes two flames that shine –
Oh, cast me in the blazes!
Oh, break this wand of mine!”

She looked at Sara challengingly. “That one? Or was it the one about me combing my golden hair, with a golden comb while my golden jewellery is glittering?” she snapped, growing louder with each golden she spat at Sara.

They stared at each other silently for a long moment, but this time around, Sara felt shame rather than awkwardness creep up on her.

“You’re right,” the Lorelei finally said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “You know all about me then.” She laughed again, sounding more helpless than incredulous now. Her expression turned resigned, and she sat back down again, drawing up her knees and encircling them with her arms.

Sara watched her as she folded in on herself until she suddenly couldn’t bear to look at her any longer. “Gideon, modify the barrier according to Zari’s specifications, please.”

The electromagnetic barrier flickered briefly and then turned a dull gray, obscuring the woman from Sara, but for a moment Sara continued to stare at the spot where she had seen her sitting.

“What’s your real name?” she asked quietly.

When the woman answered her, Sara was surprised at how little effect Gideon’s sound filtering had on her voice. There was a somewhat tinny quality to it, and it seemed to resonate a little more, but otherwise it sounded pretty much the same when she said, “Ava.”

Sara blinked and quickly turned to walk towards the door. Before she left the lab though, she looked back towards the containment barrier and murmured, almost as an afterthought, “I’m Sara.”

Chapter Text

No longer shall I draw breath,
I’ve none left to care for.

The door hissed closed behind her, behind Sara, and Ava suddenly felt exhausted. All at once, it seemed to her as if she couldn’t stay upright a moment longer, and she sat down heavily on the cot that had been placed in her strange little cell.

She was always exhausted these days – bone-tired, really. It was draining to always have to be on the move, to constantly have to evade people’s eyes and search for new places to hide. But it couldn’t be helped. It was up to her to keep them all safe, after all, and more than anything else it was the magnitude of that responsibility that was wearing Ava out.

She’d only realized that she even had it, that she had a choice now, when it had already been too late. In hindsight, she had come to recognize the men’s clothing. She had already known that some of them had to be fathers and husbands, but now she knew them in their own right, knew what their lives must have been like, protecting the law or selling ice cream to children or surfing the very waves that would swallow them all up. 

So many men had died because of her, but none haunted her as much as these men from the boardwalk because, for once, they didn’t have to die. If she had just been more careful, she actually could have saved them.

At home, saving them had never even been an option. Once she had made that one terrible decision, it had all been out of her hands. Unlike here, there was no place to hide from them, no way to keep them from looking at her. 

Their deaths had seemed horribly inevitable to her, but for that very reason, they had been easier to live with. Because it didn’t make sense for Ava to lament the fate of each individual fisherman. Like Ava they had been cursed a long time ago, doomed from the moment they were born the sons of fishermen, predestined to uphold the family tradition and navigate the waters of the Rhine until it was their time to fall victim to her.

Their fate had already been sealed, just like hers had been sealed the moment she had left that well-trodden path, the moment she had decided to be bold and selfish for once.

It was no use crying over it now, no use trying to halt something that had already been set in motion, and after a while Ava stopped doing it. She stopped mourning each and every single one of them, forgot to think of them as fishermen and sons and husbands and fathers. In her mind, they all started to bleed into each other until they were just a faceless crowd, just an ever-increasing number of tragic but inevitable casualties.

That way, Ava didn’t have to spread out her remorse – she would never be able to do them justice anyway, and like this, she didn’t even have to try. She could focus all of her regret on that one mistake of hers. A mistake she had made when she was still so young, just a foolish girl, naive and trusting – a victim of circumstances, really. At least, that’s what she had tried to tell herself when she couldn’t sleep at night.

She wondered if Sara sometimes told herself the same thing. 

She had said that she couldn’t do anything for Ava, that she was only doing what she had to do. As if it was all out of her hands, as if she had relinquished any responsibility for her actions from the moment she decided to work for that organization of hers. As if she simply couldn’t help capturing people and leaving them at the mercy of others to do with them as they pleased.

Maybe she also lied to herself to make what she did more palatable, to soothe her conscience. Or maybe she didn’t even have to do that. Maybe she just didn’t care. Maybe it simply didn’t matter to her what happened to people like Ava.

After all, she had already made up her mind about Ava before she had even talked to her. She thought that she already knew Ava on the strength of reading those hurtful poems that were full of lies and dreadfully romanticized half-truths.

Maybe Sara could justify what she did for a living like that. Maybe she had learned to live with herself by never looking beyond the surface, by only ever thinking in neat and tidy categories of black and white, by taking everything at face value.

Just like Ava had done with her.

She had let herself be enchanted by Sara’s face. She hadn’t been able to see beyond the cut of her jaw, the slope of her lips and the color of her eyes. She should have paid more attention to her words instead of the sound of her voice and the way her cheeks dimpled when she spoke, should have judged her by her deeds rather than the lines of her body and the grace of her movements.

But Ava had a habit of mistaking physical allure for inner beauty, and she had grown used to being disappointed in people, too. So it shouldn’t have been a surprise to her that the woman she had imagined to be free and bold and exceptional was only somebody’s lackey, was only ordinary in the worst sense of the word – shallow and ignorant and self-righteous like all the others.

It was probably what Ava deserved. She had been the disappointment first, after all.

Her father had never spoken to her again, and Ava was relieved that she never had to find out whether it was because he couldn’t come and see her or because he wouldn’t.

Her mother had come up – only once, though. She hadn’t asked about Ava’s well-being or tried to offer her comfort, and Ava had soon realized that she had only come to tell Ava about the new miller’s wife. How it had been a whirlwind romance, how she had charmed both the boy and his father – everybody in the village, really – so quickly and so thoroughly, how happy the newlyweds were.

Her mother had been a severe woman, Ava couldn’t remember ever seeing her cry. During her tale of the miller’s wife, she had been sobbing, though, tears flowing freely down her face along with the words gushing out of her mouth. Ava hadn’t known for whom she was crying – for Ava or for the miller’s wife that could have been – and she had been too afraid to ask and find out. 

As she had sat there while her mother had talked, Ava had found that concentrating on her mother’s tears rather than her words helped with holding back her own.

She wasn’t going to cry now either. She had already lost everybody and everything – even her self-delusions – so she would bear being imprisoned here like she had borne everything else.

Ava only wished that her cell had been turned opaque from both sides. As it was now, she would still have to look at Sara’s face and be careful not to be fooled by it again.

Chapter Text

No, I cannot condemn thee
Now that I’ve seen thy face

Ava woke up to unfamiliar sounds, and for a moment she was confused, not understanding where she was. Then she remembered, though. She remembered the boy and being captured and Sara – the real one, not the one she had imagined. She looked up in the direction of the strange noises and was surprised to find that she wasn’t alone.

A man had his back turned to her as he stood in front of a table full of unfamiliar machines and equipment. Ava only caught glimpses of what he was doing, but from what she could see, he was assembling some sort of bracelet. 

It seemed strange to Ava that he would choose to do his work in the ship’s brig. When she glanced past him, though, she noticed for the first time that the room they were in didn’t really look like one. It seemed more like a workshop or a laboratory. Then again, there was a sprawling sofa in one corner that Ava thought rather out of place for any kind of working space.

While the room might not look like one, it was Ava’s prison, and as she stared at the man’s back again, she vowed that she wouldn’t cooperate with her jailers. She wouldn’t give them any information – they would only pass it on to that organization of theirs, after all. She wouldn’t even talk to them anymore, not after the conversation she had had with Sara yesterday.

The man continued with his work, and Ava couldn’t help but be fascinated by it. The tools he was using seemed to have a life of their own, glowing in different bright colors and whirring and humming as he applied them to the bracelet. Ava watched as he put on what appeared to be magnifying glasses to inspect the bracelet more closely. 

Ava could have watched him all day – even if his work hadn’t been so riveting. It was exhilarating to be so close to a man and have him ignore her, have him remain completely unaffected by her presence. Well, almost completely – he seemed somewhat anxious, throwing looks over his shoulder every now and then that he probably thought were covert.

As he fiddled with it, the bracelet suddenly emitted a high-pitched sound and when Ava leaned closer to get a better look at it, she inadvertently disturbed the barrier surrounding her. The resulting glare and metallic hiss made the man twist around and look fully in her direction for the first time. 

Ava felt her resolve to not speak with him crumble with her first proper look at his face – it seemed unusually kind for someone so handsome.

“You’re awake! I didn’t mean to disturb you,” he said, flipping up the magnifying glasses. “Umm… it’s Ava, isn’t it?” He ducked his head a little awkwardly.

“Yes.”

“I’m Ray, Ray Palmer.”

He seemed at a loss for what else to say. It was obvious, though, that he also wasn’t comfortable with just turning back around to his work, so Ava asked him, “What are you working on?”

“Oh,” he looked at the bracelet in his hand as if surprised to find it there. “It’s for you, actually,” he said and started to smile, “The modifications we made to the electromagnetic barrier gave me an idea.” He held out the bracelet towards her cell. “It’s a prototype for a portable version of the barrier. You could wear it around your wrist and you’d be able to move around freely without anybody being affected by your powers.”

Ava didn’t quite know what to say for a moment. “That’s very thoughtful of you,” she finally murmured and was surprised when Ray’s smile slipped.

“Oh, I’m not all that thoughtful,” he muttered and looked down sheepishly.

Ava couldn’t quite understand why he was so uncomfortable with her praise, but even more so, she didn’t understand why he had even gone to all that trouble for her. “I just don’t see how I should ever get to use it,” she said.

“Yes, well… you never know, though,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s always best to be prepared,” he added, and Ava couldn’t help but agree with him on this.

Now that he had started talking, he didn’t seem to want to stop anytime soon. He began explaining his work to her, talking her through every little step involved in assembling the bracelet, and although Ava couldn’t even understand half of it, she didn’t mind, because she found his voice soothing.

***

Ray had been gone for a while when the door opened again. Ava couldn’t quite suppress the fleeting thought that it might be Sara, coming to check up on her, but a man came in instead. 

He walked up close to her cell and squinted at it for a moment before he said, “Umm… hello? My name is Nate Heywood. Ray said that you were awake, and that you talked to him for a bit, and I was wondering whether I could ask you a couple of questions about yourself?”

“Why do you even have to ask me anything – I thought you already knew all about me from the poems,” Ava replied snidely.

Nate grimaced a little at this. “Yes, well, they’re all we have for the moment, but I’m a historian, so I’d prefer to get my information from reliable sources rather than literary works. Only if you’re comfortable with that, of course.”

Ava was so taken aback by his courtesy that she asked, “What would you even want to know about me?”

“For starters, just your full name and the date of your birth.”

Ava didn’t see the harm in telling him, and she couldn’t help but be charmed by his immediate, almost childlike excitement over the information she had given him. “Ooh, so you were a child during the French occupation. What was that like?”

Ava thought for a moment. She remembered her parents talking about the changes the French had brought, the new rules they had installed, the strange names they had given to things. Her parents had hated the French for the way they had uprooted their old lives, for the way they had taken away what was familiar to them and replaced it with something they couldn’t recognize and didn’t want to get accustomed to. They had felt that their lives were no longer their own, that they were entirely at the mercy of a force they didn’t understand and that didn’t care to understand them either. Almost every day, they had stumbled over something to fuel their discontent, but as a child Ava had never known things to be any other way. It was only much later that she had suddenly understood them.

“I’d rather not say,” she told Nate, and to his credit he didn’t insist, and left soon thereafter.

***

The door hissed open again and for some reason Ava was sure that it would be her this time around. Instead, another man entered. Unlike the others, he didn’t bother with greeting Ava, at least not in the conventional sense of the word.

“So you’ve gotten yourself cursed, then. How did that happen, love?”

Ava frowned at his rude familiarity. “Don’t call me that, please.”

“Alright then, pet.”

“It’s Ava, actually. If you want to talk to me, you had better remember that,” Ava said curtly as she took in his unkempt appearance. 

“Oh,” he seemed delighted all of a sudden, “Feisty, aren’t we?” He straightened up out of the slouch he had been in until then and made a facetious attempt to fix his crooked tie.

“Let’s do this properly, then. The name’s Constantine, but you can call me John,” he said with what he probably considered a charming smile. “All my friends do,” he added with a wink.

“Constantine, then,” Ava said sweetly, and Constantine’s smile broadened even more.

“So, Ava, how did you get yourself cursed?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Oh, but it should be,” he said slyly and then added with some self-importance, “I’m a warlock, you see, an exorcist, a master of the dark arts. If you tell me about your curse, I might be able to help you get rid of it.”

Ava scoffed, “You can’t help me. No one can.”

“Well, I’m not no one, though, am I, lo… Ava?” he insisted, never losing his smarmy smile. “There must have been someone or something that did it, and you should really just tell me all about it.”

When Ava didn’t reply, he raised his eyebrows and murmured softly, “Trust me,” and Ava couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up in her throat at his ridiculous display of sham compassion.

She was still laughing when he muttered, “Your loss,” and marched out the door.

***

After she had gotten her hopes up in vain for the third time, Ava decided that she would stop waiting. She would stop hoping for her to visit, would stop expecting her to appear every time the door hissed open.

The woman who had flashed the light in the boy’s face had introduced herself to Ava as Zari and had then plopped down on the sofa in the corner.

By now she was sitting on it cross-legged and hunched over to stare at what seemed to be a large glass pane across from it. The glass was displaying images so rapidly that Ava felt dizzy just from the brief glances she had thrown at it, but Zari seemed mesmerized by it. She never averted her eyes from the glass as she punched buttons on a small rectangular device she was gripping tightly with both hands.

A box filled with colorful round pastries was sitting next to her on the sofa, and Ava was astounded to see how quickly the contents of the box were dwindling as Zari stuffed her mouth with one pastry after the other.

Zari suddenly mumbled something in Ava’s direction, with her mouth so full that it took Ava a moment to understand the words as, “It’s a video game.” Even then, she still couldn’t make sense of them, though.

“I don’t know what that is,” she said.

Zari took another bite of her pastry. “It’s a game you play with this thing.” She lifted up her hands holding the rectangular device. “You use it to control a character in the game, to make them do anything you want them to do.” She stopped talking for a moment to press a complicated sequence of buttons on her device. “It’s fun. You should try it sometime.”

Ava didn’t reply, and after a moment, Zari looked away from the glass pane for the first time since she had sat down on the sofa. Her eyes were wide as she stared at Ava’s cell. “Sorry,” she murmured, “I can imagine that it wouldn’t be all that much fun for you.”

When Ava still didn’t say anything, Zari did something that stopped the sequence of images on the glass. She picked up the box of pastries and got up from the sofa. When she was close to Ava’s cell, she held the box out towards it. “Would you like one?”

When Ava peered into the box, she saw that the pastries were circular rather than round. They were covered in colorful frosting, some with sprinkles or chopped nuts on top, and looked so appetizing that Ava said yes despite herself.

Zari moved the box closer and when it touched the barrier, it didn’t make it flicker and hiss like Ava expected, but passed right through it. Ava scrutinized the pastries for a moment and then picked a brown one with colorful sprinkles on top. “Thank you,” she said, and Zari pulled the box back out of her cell. She looked into it and smiled. “Good choice! Chocolate frosted with sprinkles are my favorites, too.”

It tasted a little like the Krapfen Ava’s mother had sometimes bought for special occasions.

Zari returned to the sofa and her game, but soon the door hissed open, and another woman came in. She flopped onto the sofa next to Zari.

“Hey, Z,” she grinned.

“Charlie,” Zari murmured, still staring at her game. 

Charlie nudged her with her elbow then until Zari finally stopped the game again and looked over to her. Charlie raised her eyebrows and Zari shook her head slightly. They put their heads together and started whispering to each other. Ava had no idea what kind of plan they were hatching, but she didn’t like the very unsubtle looks they kept throwing in her direction.

Zari eventually resumed her game, and after lounging on the sofa for a little while longer, Charlie wandered up to Ava’s cell. “That’s a pretty necklace you have there.”

Ava frowned. “I thought you couldn’t see me through this?”

“Oh, all the others can’t,” Charlie said offhandedly. “But I’m different.” She grinned. “Used to be a bit like you, actually. None of that fancy mesmerizing, of course, but I could do some pretty cracking stuff of my own.”

Her mischievous grin turned into a frown. „But then that git got to me, and now I’m all out of magic.”

“Git?”

“Constantine!” she muttered, “I’m sure you’ve already met him – that wanker is nothing if not nosy.”

„Oh, him.”

Charlie guffawed at Ava’s tone and stuck her hand through the barrier. “I’m Charlie by the way,” she said, and when Ava took her hand, she started shaking it vigorously.

“So, about that necklace?”

Ava touched her fingers to the gold chain. “Yes. I suppose it is pretty, isn’t it?” She started twisting the medallion that was sitting in the middle of it around in her fingers and smiled wryly, “It was a gift.”

“That’s a very nice gift. Must have been from someone pretty special to you, eh?”

Ava thought back to the moment she had put the necklace around Ava’s neck, to the kiss they had shared – Ava’s first and only one – to her smile when she had promised Ava to be back soon.

“Yes,” she said softly, “She was very special.”

Charlie gave her a strange smile then, and Ava suddenly noticed that Zari was looking in their direction expectantly. Charlie turned around to face her and after just a moment, Ava could see the same strange smile bloom on Zari’s face as well.

***

Unlike the others, he was simply ignoring her. It made Ava restless – to the point that she finally couldn’t stand the silence any longer.

“What are you reading?”

“A book.”

He continued to read, and Ava was quiet for a few moments. “Why are you even here if not to talk to me? There must be more comfortable places for reading aboard this ship?”

“Captain’s orders.”

“What?”

“Captain’s orders,” he repeated with exaggerated slowness and then continued to ignore her in favor of his book.

After turning a page, he pointed towards the beer bottles on the floor beside his armchair and asked without looking up, “You want one?”

“Sure, why not,” Ava sighed. The barrier became penetrable as he reached through it to put down a bottle on the dais.

“I understand that you don’t want me to have anything in here that could be used as a weapon, but how am I supposed to open this without a bottle opener?”

“Twist the cap off.” He emptied his bottle and grabbed a new one off the floor. “Like this.”

Ava frowned as she copied his movements and twisted the cap off her own bottle, its jagged edges digging into her palm. She took a large gulp of beer, only to splutter and spit as soon as she got her first taste of the watered-down and overly sweet liquid.

“What is this?” she asked once she had stopped coughing.

“Stefoff,” he replied with a grunt of contentment and took another gulp from his bottle. “The best beer there is.”

“Umm, no,” Ava disagreed and grimaced as she rubbed her tongue against the roof of her mouth to get rid of the taste. She inspected the pale yellow label on the bottle.

“Corn syrup?” she exclaimed incredulously. “Who in their right mind would put that into beer?”

“Who cares what’s in it – it’s beer.”

“It’s really not, though,” Ava declared with finality.

“You know a better brand?” he asked gruffly, seeming to grow impatient with her now.

“Oh, definitely, just about anything else would be better than this.”

“Be my guest then,” he huffed, “Tell me and I’ll try it. I’ll even bring you one if you’re right.”

Ava scoffed. “Koblenzer, then, but where would you even get it on this ship? And even if you could, I doubt that it’s still available in this day.”

He smirked and got up from his chair to make his way towards the door. “We’ll find a way, won’t we, Gideon?”

“Certainly, Mr. Rory,” a disembodied voice replied from somewhere near the ceiling, making Ava flinch in surprise.

“Who is this?” she called after Rory, but he had already disappeared through the door. Instead, her question was answered by the ghostly voice itself, “I am Gideon, the interactive artificial consciousness tasked with operating this ship’s critical systems.”

Ava suddenly remembered Sara saying that name. “Have you been here the entire time?”

“I have been monitoring you continuously since you boarded the ship.”

“Monitoring?”

“Your vital signs, mainly. Although I also routinely monitor and record REM activity and dream content.”

“You can see my dreams?” Ava exclaimed.

“Yes. Would you like me to play them back to you at this time?”

“Please don’t!”

The door hissed open suddenly, and Rory came back in, sipping from a beer bottle with a red and white label and holding an identical one in his other hand.

“You were right,” he muttered curtly while shoving the second bottle through the barrier at Ava. As soon as she took it from him, he turned around and walked out of the room again.

***

“Would you like me to dim the lights now?” Gideon asked, and as much as Ava had been unnerved by her invisible presence earlier, she suddenly found it strangely comforting to know that she wasn’t alone.

“Yes, please.”

Ava had waited for Sara all day, but she had never shown up.

Chapter Text

Who was it that seduced thee
To sorcery so vile?

“She’s into birds,” Charlie announced before Sara had even made it all the way onto the bridge.

“And only those,” John muttered under his breath.

“Oh, John-o!” Charlie said in a pitying tone, “Being impervious to your charms doesn’t make her a lesbian – it just shows she has good taste.” They grinned and then added in a stage whisper in Sara’s direction, “No offence, Boss.”

Sara blinked. The crew was huddled around the central console and staring at her expectantly. She had only just had her morning coffee, and even though it was she who had called this meeting, it suddenly seemed much too early to face them.

Taking no note of Sara’s discomfort, Charlie continued with a smug smile, “I did you a solid, Boss. Wheedled it out of her. That necklace she’s wearing? She got that from an ex, a female one.”

Sara cleared her throat. “Thanks, Charlie, that’s… very interesting. But it’s not exactly our priority right now.” She decided to ignore Zari’s smirk for the moment and asked, “What else did you find out?” 

With no immediate replies forthcoming, she decided to address each of them individually. “Mick?”

“She knows her beer.” He gave an approving nod and tipped the neck of his beer bottle, a different brand than usual, towards Sara.

Sara rolled her eyes. “Zari?”

Zari tapped her chin thoughtfully. “She’s not into video games – they hit a little too close to home – but she likes chocolate-frosted donuts with sprinkles.”

“Great.” Sara grimaced. “Ray?”

“She liked the bracelet I made her, and she’s a really good listener.”

“You made her jewellery?” Sara asked in utter disbelief.

“Of course not,” Ray scoffed good-naturedly. “It’s a prototype for a portable forcefield with the same specifications as the electromagnetic barrier in the lab. It allows her to move around freely without her powers affecting anyone,” he finished with a proud grin.

“Why would you…” Sara pinched the bridge of her nose. “She’s our prisoner, Ray. There’s no way, we’re letting her move around the ship as she pleases, and she sure as hell won’t get to use your gadget once the Time Bureau dumps her into one of their supermax facilities.”

She averted her eyes from Ray’s hangdog expression and addressed the whole group again, “Did any of you find out anything useful?”

“Now, don’t look at me, love,” John huffed, “She wouldn’t even talk to me!”

To Sara’s relief, Gideon’s avatar flickered on above the central console. “Gideon! What did you find out?”

“She appears to be a healthy human woman for all intents and purposes – her vital signs are all within normal parameters for a female of her age. She seems to suffer from a form of insomnia, however, difficulty falling asleep to be precise. At this time, I am unable to determine whether it is a permanent condition or merely owing to heightened agitation due to her imprisonment. Her dreams were mostly unpleasant in nature – with fairly straightforward imagery – although there was a brief segment involving you, Captain, that was…”

“Thank you, Gideon!” Sara interrupted her quickly. “Let’s talk about that later!” she added, trying to drown out Zari and Charlie’s obnoxious snickering.

Sara took a moment to look from one team member to the next. As she went over the scraps of information they had collected once more, she had a hard time suppressing a sigh. Maybe she should have been more upfront with them when she sent them to talk to their prisoner. She had made it out like the main objective was to test the safety of their containment method, and that any intel they could gather would only be a bonus. It made sense to frame the whole thing like that: the safety of her team and soon that of Green and his hapless Bureau agents depended on the functionality of the containment barrier. Anything they found out about her, though, would serve no other purpose than to satisfy Sara’s curiosity. It wasn’t like the Bureau cared about the background or motivations of its prisoners, their only concern was how to rein in their abilities and weaponize them.

The most sensible thing would have been to talk to Ava herself, but Sara just hadn’t felt up to it. She had stayed as far away from the lab as possible, had tried to avoid even thinking about Ava and had kept herself busy with anything that she could get her hands on that wasn’t related to her.

She had lasted all of two hours before she had succumbed to her curiosity again, to this incessant need to find out anything she could about Ava. She still hadn’t been able to bring herself to visit Ava in the lab, but she had pored over the newspaper articles and had re-watched the Super 8 footage again and again – until she knew it all almost by heart. Only the poems she had steered clear of.

Sara’s thoughts were interrupted by Nate rushing onto the bridge. “Sorry I’m late! I was in the library and forgot the time again.”

“Please tell me you found out something useful about her!” Sara implored him.

“I did,” he said with obvious enthusiasm. “The timeline doesn’t add up.”

“What do you mean?”

“The poems!” he exclaimed as if it should be obvious. He gently shouldered Ray aside to get to one of the central console’s control panels. After a few taps, a timeline appeared on the console’s monitors. Nate pointed out the first two dates displayed and explained, “Brentano wrote his poem in 1801, and she was born in 1791. So she would have been ten at the time. The poem couldn’t possibly be about her.”

“Maybe she was just lying to you about her birth year,” John muttered, “Wouldn’t be the first bird to do it,” he added under his breath, only to receive a swift elbow to the ribs from Zari. “Ow!”

“I thought so, too. But then I looked into historical birth registries, and she’s in there.” He brought up a document on the screens. “That’s her birth certificate right there: Ava Sharpe, born to Pamela and Randolph. It all checks out.”

“So, if the first poem isn’t about her, who did the old geezer write about then?” Charlie chimed in, “The way he describes the Lorelei does match Ava and the powers she has, doesn’t it?”

“That’s the thing, though: Brentano’s poem doesn’t really describe her or her powers in that much detail,” Nate said as he brought up the poem onscreen. “It’s more focused on her backstory. There are some details that match Ava’s: Brentano’s Lorelei and her were both born near Bacharach, a small town on the western bank of the Rhine. The way he describes the Lorelei’s beauty fits the bill, too: it’s so other-worldly that every man who sees her falls irrevocably in love with her and has to suffer for it – it doesn’t say exactly what kind of suffering, though. And that’s about it. The rest of the poem is more concerned with what happened to her and how she was feeling about it.” 

He zoomed in on a section of the poem. “This part here describes how she is summoned before the bishop for her crimes. Like all the other men, he falls in love with her and pardons her.”

“Some bishop,” Mick scoffed.

Nate scrolled down a few verses. “This section is all about her feelings: she wants to be executed because she feels cursed with her beauty and is heartbroken because the man she loves has betrayed and abandoned her.” 

“Doesn’t sound much like Ava,” Zari commented and Charlie added, “Nah – I was just winding you up earlier, John-o, she really is a lesbian if you ask me.”

Nate scrolled down even further. “And then there’s the ending: the bishop orders her to become a nun and has her brought to a monastery. On the way, the Lorelei climbs a steep cliff by the Rhine to look at her lover’s castle and into the river once more. At the top, she spots a boat on the river and thinks that she can see her lover in it. She leans over the edge of the cliff and falls to her death, and the knights who were sent to escort her die up there as well.”

“Well, that’s depressing,” Ray murmured.

Sara couldn’t help but agree with him. “But what does it all mean?” she asked. “Ava made it very clear that she didn’t feel like the poems applied to her at all. So wouldn’t it make sense that they were written at a time when they couldn’t be about her?”

“That’s only the first one, though,” Nate replied and pointed at the timeline again. “The second one was written in 1824, when Ava was 33. It’s much more descriptive, there’s not really a lot of plot or backstory. It’s all about the feelings the Lorelei evokes when she’s sitting up there on that ledge, combing her golden hair and singing, and it actually specifies that the men she enchants have to drown.”

“So the second poem could be about Ava, but the first one is about some other Lorelei?” Ray asked, thoroughly confused now.

“Maybe,“ John said thoughtfully, “Or, the first poem is complete fiction, but whoever cursed Sharpie modelled the curse after it – or at least some aspects of it.”

“I want you and Nate to look into both theories – and any others you can come up with,” Sara said to John. “The rest of you: talk to her again and see what you can find out. Or do whatever, I guess,” she added as an afterthought, mostly in Mick’s direction. 

“Oh, I’ll talk to her alright. She’s fun,” he replied, “And hot!”

Charlie rolled their eyes at him, “You can’t even see it!”

“I know it, though.”

The others joined their bickering as they slowly wandered off the bridge. The last thing Sara heard before the door hissed shut behind them was John’s call of, “Oi, Charlie! Wait up, mate. Let’s have a word.”

When she was finally alone, Sara walked up the steps to her captain’s office and slumped down into one of the armchairs.

Maybe now was the time to start on that mountain of Time Bureau paperwork she never managed to get around to – it certainly sounded more enjoyable than being alone with her thoughts right now.

She scooted her chair towards her desk and started pulling out drawers. As she rummaged around for the ridiculously large binder of blank mission report forms the Bureau had supplied her with, she tried very hard not to think about the biggest revelation this morning had brought: that her hunch had been correct, and Ava really was into women.

It didn’t have to mean anything, anyway. Just because Ava was interested in women, she didn’t necessarily have to be interested in Sara as well. And even if she was, what difference would it make? Nothing could ever happen between them, Sara didn’t want anything to happen between them. Ava was dangerous, a killer who drowned people, and soon enough, she would be off the ship and in the hands of the Bureau.

The Bureau paperwork forgotten, Sara thought about Charlie and Zari’s teasing comments. The insinuations that she was treating Ava differently than their other prisoners, that she was more invested in her than she should be, that her interest was anything but professional.

It was true, of course – she could admit that much to herself. And while that was worrying in and of itself, it was the fact that she was being so obvious about it that her team couldn’t help but notice it that really put Sara on edge.

She hated the feeling of losing control, of being at the mercy of her emotions – it reminded her of the darkest time in her life when giving in to her desires had been tantamount to losing her very soul.

Sara was afraid of seeing Ava again. In her mind, she kept replaying how she had lost her self-control around her – not only once, but several times. She couldn’t forget the contemptuous look Ava had given her, and how it had made her want to lash out; how everything Ava did or said triggered some kind of reaction in Sara that she felt unable to control.

Sara leaned her head back against the chair and stared at the ceiling. “Gideon?”

“Yes, Captain.”

“About that dream of hers…” Sara trailed off.

“Would you like me to recount it to you now?”

Sara didn’t answer for a moment. Suddenly, it seemed incredibly invasive to her to learn anything about Ava’s dreams, about her innermost thoughts and feelings, without her knowledge and approval.

“No, don’t. And don’t tell any of the others either. Maybe… yes. You should stop monitoring her dreams altogether and delete any files you have compiled on them already, too.”

“As you wish, Captain.”

Sara didn’t need to know what exactly Ava had dreamt about her. Maybe it was for the best if she never found out. It was disconcerting enough to know that Ava dreamt of her at all – just like Sara dreamt of Ava.

Ava. Yesterday, she had even gone so far as to look up the origins of her name. She had read the Old Saxon and East Frisian and Persian and Latin words that it was rooted in and had wondered about the eerie way they all applied to her – strength, water, voice. 

All except the Latin one.

Bird. 

Chapter Text

For everyone must perish
Who looks into my eye.

The target stared at the dagger sticking out of his chest in disbelief. One of his hands reached up towards it, and for a moment, Sara thought that he’d speed things up by trying to pull it out. Instead he pressed his hand just below the dagger, fingers grasping ineffectually at his shirt. His other hand wavered in the air for a moment before gripping onto the armrest of the chair next to him. Sara could tell the moment his legs gave out and estimated that he had 30 more seconds, a minute at most. His grip on the armrest tightened, and the chair toppled over, unable to bear his body weight.

As the target collapsed on the floor, Sara briefly considered retrieving her dagger, but then she thought better of it – it would serve as a warning. It was worrying that this one had even tried to bargain for his life with her: he should have known better. The dagger would remind others that there was no mercy to be had from the League, no compassion to be drawn out of Ta-er al-Sahfer. 

A sound caught Sara’s attention, a high-pitched shriek full of terror. The target’s expression shifted from stunned disbelief to abject sorrow, and both of his hands moved over the dagger as if to hide it from view. 

“Papi!” A little girl in a bright yellow dress rushed over to the target and fell to her knees beside him. Sara was confused for a moment, but then he reached out one of his hands to grasp the girl’s much smaller one in it, and Sara suddenly realized that the girl had to be his daughter. 

She had forgotten that they could have daughters; had forgotten that they could be fathers or husbands or sons or anything other than targets.

The girl looked up at her, her dark brown eyes boring into hers, and Sara woke up with a start.

***

“Gideon, is anybody still awake?”

Sara was desperate to get out of her quarters – it felt like the walls were closing in on her – but she couldn’t bear the thought of running into one of her crew right now either.

“All crew members are asleep, Captain. Only Ms. Sharpe has just awoken from what appears to be a nightmare – as far as I can surmise from her physiological responses alone.”

Sara glared at the ceiling, but decided to ignore Gideon’s sulking tone and her penchant for providing superfluous information for now. The door to her quarters hissed open and shut again behind Sara as she started making her way towards the bottle of good scotch stashed in her office.

Ever intuitive – sometimes annoyingly so – Gideon pointed the way by illuminating the corridor lights leading up to the bridge before Sara could even tell her where she was headed.

On the bridge, the main viewer displayed the vibrant, electric green swirls of the temporal zone surrounding the Waverider. Sara observed their constant, erratic motion for a moment – it had made her dizzy when she first came aboard the ship, but over time, she had grown to find it comforting. She walked up the few steps to her office and went straight for the octopus paperweight on the small conference table in the middle of the room. With a pull on one of the octopus’ tentacles, she opened the paperweight’s secret compartment and took out the key to her lowest desk drawer. Sara had had to learn the hard way that any kind of booze left in plain sight of Mick wasn’t long for this world.

Scotch bottle and glass in hand, she sunk down into her plush leather armchair and poured herself a generous measure. She felt herself relax at the first sip, only realizing how tense she had been when the muscles in her back and shoulders slowly started to loosen up again.

She hadn’t had that nightmare in a while. Lately, it had always been the Gambit, and as much as Sara dreaded having to relive the sensation of drowning, she actually preferred it over this particular dream. At least with the Gambit, she could concentrate solely on her own suffering. She could lament the unfairness of it all, could mourn the fact that her life had been changed so irrevocably by one terrible decision she had made when she was nothing more than a silly girl. 

It was so much worse to have to face the pain and terror she had caused others as a grown woman. The girl and her father were only two of the countless people who had suffered at Sara’s hands, and even though they had meant nothing to her at the time, she could still remember each and every one of their faces. She pressed the fingernails of her left hand into her palm as she emptied her glass and quickly refilled it.

People always liked to tell her that her time with the League had been forced upon her, that she didn’t have much of a choice when it came to the terrible things she had done as an assassin. But Sara knew better. There had always been a choice, the option to do the right thing. Sara had just been too selfish, her survival instinct too strong to take it.

She thought about the choice that the Lorelei in Brentano’s poem had made, the one that couldn’t possibly be about Ava.

She leans t’wards the abyss
And falls into the Rhine.

Could Sara really condemn Ava for hanging onto her own life at the expense of those fishermen? Hadn’t Sara done the exact same thing when she was in the League? 

And unlike Sara, Ava hadn’t even gone out of her way to kill anybody. She hadn’t hunted her victims down, invaded their homes or surprised them in their sleep. She hadn’t slit their throats or plunged daggers into their chests. Her only crime had been sitting on that ledge or shouting for her pursuers to stop on the boardwalk. Sara could suddenly see the Super 8 footage in her mind’s eye again: how Ava had pressed her lips together to keep herself from speaking, how she had clamped her hands over her mouth when the word had slipped out anyway. 

Sara had let herself be trained to be a killer, and then she had excelled at applying that training. The circumstances may have been forced upon her, but she had been a willing, active participant in them. As far as Sara could tell, Ava had never deliberately hurt anybody. She had simply gotten herself cursed, and Sara didn’t even know how yet. Didn’t Ava at least deserve the chance to explain herself before Sara gave her up to Green? Could Sara really deny her that chance just because she was afraid, just because she didn’t trust herself to talk to her again?

Sara suddenly had to think about what Zari had said, about Ava liking chocolate-frosted donuts with sprinkles. It wasn’t difficult to imagine Ava like that: eating a donut with Zari or sharing a beer with Mick, listening to Ray babble about his inventions, chatting with Nate and Charlie or giving John a hard time – and dreaming of Sara at night.

“Is Ava still awake?” Sara asked the ceiling.

“Ms. Sharpe has been unable to go back to sleep, as of yet,” Gideon replied.

Sara drained her glass in one big gulp and stood up. She still didn’t feel up to facing Ava again, but with two glasses of scotch in her system, she was as ready for it as she was ever going to get.

Chapter Text

And mournful there among them,
The lovely Lorelei.

Ava drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, but it did nothing to ward off the chill of the evening air. From where she was sitting, she could look down onto the Rhine. At this time of day, it was deserted, and without any boats disturbing the water, it seemed placid and gentle as it flowed along. The last rays of the setting sun reflected off the few ripples caused by the current and tinted the darkening river with a warm glow. It was almost enough to let Ava forget the jagged rocks that she knew were hiding just underneath the surface.

She was still alone, but a rising feeling of dread told her that she wouldn’t remain so for long.

The most unsettling thing about their sudden appearance was that she could never hear the nuns approaching. Even when they were working in the monastery, they didn’t exchange more words than strictly necessary. Sharing every aspect of their lives had made them so well attuned to each other that hardly any words were needed to accomplish their tasks. Now that they were searching for her, they did so in complete silence, making it impossible for Ava to prepare herself for their arrival.

She looked down at the Rhine again – at the way it was constricted by the steep cliffs on both banks, at the way it was relentlessly flowing towards its destination, never slowing or deviating from the course predetermined by its riverbed – and when she looked back up, they were already there.

Ava tried to focus on the jet-black fabric of their habits rather than their expressions, but as always, the urge to look for comfort in their faces won out. She looked up, and immediately, she could tell that they knew. They knew exactly what had happened, and for a moment, Ava was glad – she couldn’t bear the thought of having to admit it to anybody. But then, the way they were looking at her finally sunk in, and Ava forgot to breathe for a moment: where she had expected to see pity or maybe even compassion, she found only contempt and disgust. 

There was a novice she had befriended since starting to help out at the monastery, and confronted with so much revulsion, Ava couldn’t help but look for that one friendly face in the crowd. Her friend wasn’t hard to find; she always stood out from the rest, the one white veil in a sea of black. Despite already knowing what she would find, Ava couldn’t stop herself from looking at her face, at the blank expression and vacant eyes Ava had come to dread. The girl’s voice was firm, her tone detached as she told Ava, “I’ll pray for you; I’ll pray for your soul to find its home even though you are a sinner.”

Ava’s eyes blinked open.

The nightmare that had awoken her was a familiar one: when Ava hadn’t arrived at the monastery, the nuns had come looking for her. Ava would never forget their faces or the novice’s words. Her dream had been kind this time around, because the girl hadn’t really said it like that; she hadn’t called Ava a sinner like she would have anybody else. And although it would be far from the last time people used that word for her, it still stood out to Ava: the first time somebody called her a monster.

***

Ava squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her fingertips into her eyelids. She had been trying to go back to sleep again for what felt like hours now, but she simply couldn’t relax. For the umpteenth time, she twisted around on her cot, trying to find a more comfortable position, only to sit up abruptly when she heard the door to the lab hiss open. She turned around just in time to see Sara walk in. She looked as beautiful as ever, and Ava had to take a moment to remind herself that Sara’s beauty ran only skin-deep.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” Ava said to her, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice. She didn’t appreciate Sara just showing up in the middle of the night after avoiding her for two days. “At least, not before you turn me over to that organization of yours.”

“It’s not my organization!” Sara grimaced. “They’re called the Time Bureau, and they’re nothing to do with the Legends and me.”

“Except for the part where you do their bidding and play bounty hunter for them,” Ava scoffed. 

Sara was scowling now, and when she opened her mouth, Ava braced herself for one of her vicious come-backs. For a moment, Sara didn’t say anything, though. She just stood there, open-mouthed, and stared at the electromagnetic barrier. Her eyes were focused slightly to the left of Ava, and Ava couldn’t quite decide whether it was disconcerting or a relief that Sara couldn’t really see her.

Sara snapped her mouth shut again, and Ava could see her clench both of her hands into fists. “I didn’t come here to fight with you,” Sara pressed out, still sounding anything but composed. She paused for a moment as if searching for words. “Let’s just say that not all is as it seems when it comes to our dealings with the Bureau.”

Ava let out an annoyed huff at this non-explanation. But, then again, she didn’t want to hear Sara’s excuses anyway; she didn’t care what weak justifications Sara would come up with for becoming the Time Bureau’s lackey; she already knew everything she needed to know about Sara.

The thought made Ava stop short. She suddenly remembered how upset she had been over the assumptions Sara had made about her, how disappointed she had been that Sara never even asked her to explain herself. She tried to push down the urge to lash out at Sara again and asked as calmly as she could, “What did you come here for then?”

“I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry,” Sara said quietly, and Ava blinked in surprise. “About the poems,” Sara continued, “It was stupid of me to just take them at face value like that. It was stupid and unfair to you.” 

“Thank you,” Ava said carefully, “But what made you change your mind so suddenly?”

“We found out that the first poem isn’t even about you,” Sara said sheepishly.

Ava froze for a moment, but thankfully Sara didn’t ask her who the poem was about. “The second one maybe,” she said instead, “but not that first one. You were much too young when it was written.”

Ava hated the second poem. The fawning way it described her, how it made it sound like she enjoyed sitting up there on that cliff and killing these men, the romantic spin it gave their deaths – Ava hated everything about it. Still, it was much easier to deal with than the first poem.

“The second one’s supposed to be about me,” she admitted reluctantly, “I wouldn’t exactly call it accurate, though.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Sara scoffed, “It makes you sound much too harmless – no mention of how quick you are or how you fight dirty. Because of that poem, my team gave me hell for letting you get away twice!”

Ava couldn’t quite suppress the snort that escaped her throat, and when she looked at Sara’s face, she could see her breaking into a smile, as well.

It felt strange to do this again after such a long time – to share a joke with somebody. Ava had almost forgotten the simple pleasure of it. On her own, she had never quite managed to find any kind of humor in her situation. But now with Sara, she couldn’t help but think it funny that her threat assessment had been based on a poem that made it sound like all Ava did all day was sit around with her golden accessories and comb her hair.

Up until now, everything had been a struggle with Sara, but this was easy, and Ava felt some of the tension she had been unable to shake off since her nightmare drain out of her. Sara was still smiling – Ava didn’t think that she had ever seen her do that before. She would have remembered the way it made her eyes seem even brighter and how it brought out the dimples in her cheeks. Sara was always beautiful, but like this, she looked so carefree and lovely that Ava was suddenly at a loss of what to say to her.

Before her silence could become noticeable, though, Sara cleared her throat, “I actually wanted to apologize for something else.” She hesitated for a moment before she pressed on, “I’m sorry for what I said about the boy. I know that you wouldn’t have hurt him. I saw how you were with him.”

“I only wanted to calm him down. The curse works differently with children. They find my singing soothing.”

Sara nodded then, almost as if to herself, and it made Ava wonder whether she had been affected by Ava’s singing, as well. She thought about asking her, but Sara beat her to it, “How did this even happen to you? How did you get cursed?

Ava’s first impulse was to tell her to mind her own business, to push her away, like she had done with Constantine. But then she thought about the joke they had shared and how it might feel to share some of this, too; how it might feel to finally confide in somebody and get at least some of it off her chest.

“When I was young, I did something that I shouldn’t have done,” Ava said haltingly, “My parents had warned me that it was dangerous, but I did it anyway. It was the first time that I didn’t listen to them.” 

Ava should probably have left it at that, but now that she had started talking about it, she found it difficult to stop again, “It was just that everything about my life had already been planned out for me. Everything was already decided: who I would marry and where I would live and what kind of work I would be allowed to do. There were never going to be any surprises for me, nothing I would ever get to decide on my own; and I just wanted to do something for myself, just this one thing, just once.” Ava chuckled bitterly, “But my parents were right all along – the one time that I didn’t listen to them, and I’ve regretted it ever since.”

She had never told anybody this part. The nuns had already known and when her mother had come to visit her that one time, she hadn’t bothered to ask. 

“It’s my fault that I got cursed,” Ava said softly, “I didn’t listen to my parents, and I trusted somebody that I shouldn’t have trusted.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “All these men are dead because of me, because I made a stupid mistake, because I was selfish and couldn’t just leave well enough alone and be happy with what I had.”

Sara was silent, and she stayed silent for so long that Ava finally opened her eyes again, afraid of what she might see on Sara’s face now that she knew.

Sara was staring at the barrier, her eyes focused just beside Ava again. Ava hadn’t known her for long, but Sara didn’t seem the type to wear her heart on her sleeve. Now, her face was unguarded, though – almost as if the opaque barrier had made Sara forget that Ava could still see her. She was wearing a rueful smile, and in her eyes, Ava finally found the understanding and compassion everybody else had refused to give her.

“It’s not your fault this happened to you,” Sara said firmly, “You did nothing wrong, nothing any other young girl wouldn’t have done, too. You couldn’t have known how things would turn out.”

Ava swallowed around the lump that was suddenly in her throat, “Thank you, that’s… It means a lot.”

Sara nodded a little awkwardly, “Yeah,” she murmured and cleared her throat, “I better go now – we should both try to get some sleep.”

She turned around and quickly walked out of the lab. Ava looked after her, unhappy with how abruptly Sara had ended their conversation and unsure as to what it meant. Ava could only hope that she hadn’t made a mistake, that she hadn’t let herself be fooled by Sara’s face yet again.

Chapter Text

By church law she was wanted,
They would not let her be.

“Incoming transmission from Director Green.”

Sara had been checking the readings of their magical activity seismograph on one of the central console’s screens. When she heard Gideon’s announcement, she closed the feed and walked up the few steps to her captain’s office to lean against the table there. She made it a point to always take the higher ground whenever she was forced to talk to Green. 

“Put him through, Gideon.”

A holographic projection of Time Bureau Director Gary Green appeared in front of the central console, and Sara tried her best not to grimace at the sight of him: Green was as ambitious as he was unscrupulous. 

A few months ago, the demon Neron had attempted to take over the Time Bureau in an effort to ‘make Earth Hell again’. Green had been a nobody at the time, a pencil-pushing junior agent with no field experience to speak of – Sara only ever dealt with him when it came to processing the tedious paperwork the Bureau forced upon her. He had seemed harmless enough back then, although admittedly Sara’s interactions with him hadn’t gone beyond the exchange of pleasantries and form numbers.

When the Legends had foiled Neron’s takeover, though, Green had ruthlessly exploited the resulting turmoil and power vacuum at the Bureau to seize control over it.

Since then, he had enforced sweeping reforms to Bureau policies that had radically changed the organization. It was he who had introduced the supermax prisons that almost all magical creatures, or fugitives as the Bureau liked to call them, were now incarcerated in. Before, most of them had been repatriated and only the most dangerous ones detained at the Bureau – under much more humane conditions. 

“Ms. Lance, my chief of magic operations informs me that the anomaly in 1966 Santa Cruz has been resolved. I trust that you have the fugitive responsible in custody?”

“Yes, but she’s not a magical creature. She’s a human woman who has been cursed and displaced in time.” Sara braced herself for disappointment before she added, “I think that the right thing to do would be to send her back to where she came from.” 

She already knew that her request would fall on deaf ears: repatriations were practically unheard of by now. All creatures with abilities that the Bureau deemed useful in any way were imprisoned – to ‘harness their powers for the good of the timeline’. Director Green’s argument was that the needs of the many should outweigh those of the few; that the integrity of all of humankind’s history was more important than the freedom and comfort of a few hundred magical beings. 

“Thank you for your suggestion, Ms. Lance. It’s refreshing to see you so proactive for once,” Green chuckled drily, “So it really is a shame that I can’t indulge your request. From the historical documents we have on your prisoner, her powers seem much too valuable to set her free.” His smile didn’t reach his eyes when he added, almost as an afterthought, “And of course, she would pose too much of a danger if we released her back to her own time. The safety of the general populace is always our first priority.”

“I see.” Sara tried to stand her ground. “But I’m really not comfortable with handing her over to you then.”

Green’s expression hardened as he gave up all pretence of smiling. “Let me be clear then, Ms. Lance. The Legends have proven useful in the past: your unorthodox methods can be an asset from time to time, and because of that I have been willing to make some concessions.” He flicked his wrist in a dismissive gesture.

“But don’t make the mistake of overestimating your value to the Bureau, Ms. Lance. I needn’t remind you that my own agents are very adept at dealing with both anachronisms and magical fugitives,” he paused to smile at her again, much more dangerously – and genuinely – than before. “At weeding them out at the root, so to speak.” 

He shrugged his shoulders, looking almost bored now. “If you fail to cooperate, I see no reason to indulge you and your crew any further.”

Before the transmission ended abruptly, and Green’s hologram flickered out of existence, he added in a tone that brooked no further argument, “I expect you to deliver the prisoner by tonight.”

***

“Green called,” Sara said in lieu of a greeting when she walked into the galley where the rest of the Legends, sans John, were in the middle of having breakfast.

“He gave me an ultimatum, said we had until this evening to hand over Ava,” she explained while looking over at Zari and Charlie. As always, they were sitting close to each other, a small pile of donuts on the table between them. “Or suffer the consequences,” Sara added quietly.

Sara could see Zari start to open her mouth and held up both hands to forestall any interruptions. “Please, let me get this out first,” she requested as she came to stand at the head of the table. “I know that we don’t really have much of a choice…” she trailed off and looked around the table at each of the Legends. 

Charlie and Zari were looking at each other, deep in some sort of nonverbal communication; Nate was staring down at the sea of maple syrup on his plate and using his fork to push the remains of his French Toast around in it; Ray was wearing a somber expression as he fiddled with his glass of green juice; and even Mick had stopped stuffing his face with bacon and eggs for the moment.

Sara leant forward and braced her hands on the table. Her tone was urgent when she said, “I really don’t want to hand her over; it feels incredibly wrong!” 

She focused on Charlie and Zari again, “And it’s not, because I have some sort of crush on her! It’s because none of this is really her fault. I talked to her last night, and she told me some of what happened to her. And… it’s just not her fault, none of this is. It’s not her fault that she was cursed.” 

Sara straightened herself back up and raised her hands in a helpless shrug. “And I know that she killed people, innocent people, I know that! But so did I! What kind of hypocrite would I be if I gave her up to Green, if I let her rot in one of his hellholes, while I get to remain free and fly through time with you guys and have the chance to redeem myself and just…” she trailed off again, trying to collect her thoughts. 

“Why should she be punished for something that wasn’t even her choice? Something that happened to her because she was too trusting when she was barely even an adult? It’s just not right!”

She slumped down into the empty chair at the head of the table and looked at each of the Legends again. “But I won’t go over your heads,” she said quietly, “Not when it comes to this, because it wouldn’t be me who’d have to suffer the consequences. You know what’s at stake.”

“You don’t have to try and convince me, Boss. I don’t want to hand her over either,” Charlie said with conviction.

“Me neither,” Zari agreed. “It was different when it was just heart-eating unicorns or shtrigas or killer dolls. I wasn’t exactly okay with what Green was doing to them – those new Bureau prisons are almost as bad as the A.R.G.U.S. black sites – but at least these creatures were truly evil and so dangerous that I’m not sure what else we could have done with them but lock them up.” She shrugged while the others nodded and murmured in agreement. 

“Ava, though – she’s not like that. She’s not harming people on purpose, and the barrier works, so she’s no longer dangerous either.”

“But that’s not really the point,” Nate threw in, a worried frown on his face, “I think we can all agree that Ava doesn’t deserve whatever Green has planned for her.” He looked across at Ray who nodded vigorously and then over at Mick who gave a reluctant, but affirmative grunt.

“The problem is what he’s going to do to you and Charlie if we refuse to hand Ava over to him,” Nate continued bluntly.

“We’ll be safe as long as we stay in the temporal zone…” Zari started to say, only to be interrupted by Nate.

“You can’t be serious!” His eyes were wide as he gestured at her and Charlie. “Green will send agents to pick up you and Charlie before you ever even met us. We know that he has absolutely no qualms about altering the timeline when he can somehow benefit from it, and he’ll just argue that you’re an anachronism and that Charlie’s a fugitive and that you should be treated as such. He’ll make sure that you’ll spend the rest of your life in an A.R.G.U.S. black site, and Charlie will be put into one of the Bureau prisons or worse!”

Nate’s voice was becoming more and more agitated the longer he spoke. He spread out his arms in a wide gesture meant to encompass the Waverider. “And sure, you won’t be directly affected by any of it while you’re still in the temporal zone, but outside of it, the timeline will change and there’ll be alternate versions of you, and once time solidifies, those versions will be the real versions of you.”

He pointed at Zari and Charlie. “And you, as you are now, will just be echoes of a timeline that no longer exists, and if you ever leave the temporal zone for whatever reason, even for just a moment, you’ll simply cease to exist, too!”

“Yes, mate,” Charlie interrupted him, somewhat impatiently, “We’re all well aware of that. How could we not with how often Green has been harping on and on about it. But I, for one, am tired of living like that! I’m tired of him holding it over our heads whenever we take even the tiniest step out of line. I’m tired of not being able to make our own decisions, of always having to ask the Bureau for permission.”

“Charlie’s right,” Zari chimed in, “It won’t ever stop. Let’s say we do hand over Ava to him. We’ll be fine for now then, but what is he going to ask of us next? What else are we willing to do until it just becomes too much for our conscience to bear? At what point do we put a stop to this?” She pointed at herself, “For me, this – right here, right now – is my breaking point. If we start giving up human beings whose only crime is that they got themselves cursed, we’re no better than the Bureau.”

“Zari and me are the ones who’ll have to suffer the consequences,” Charlie added, “And we’re saying that we shouldn’t give up Ava to the Burau.” They looked around the table, “What about the rest of you?”

***

Sara stopped a few steps short of the door to the lab and tried to brace herself for seeing Ava again. Well, not exactly seeing her. 

Sara had thought that the barrier would make things easier, that it would help her keep her emotions in check. But talking to Ava without being able to see her face and gauge her reactions had proven much more difficult than Sara had anticipated. She had been unprepared for how it would make her feel, how it made her both incredibly uneasy and at the same time much more willing to let her guard down. 

In the end, the urge to open up to Ava had won out, and Sara had given more of her own feelings away than she felt comfortable with now. In hindsight, it seemed unfair and pointless to project her own issues onto Ava, and Sara found it unsettling that she had lost control around Ava yet again, that not even a literal barrier separating them could keep Sara from pushing the boundaries between them.

The lab was quiet when Sara finally got up the nerve to step through the door. She walked up close to the barrier and just stared at the way it flickered and shifted for a moment, the dull gray laced with brief flashes of shimmering silver.

“Ava?” she called softly, unsure whether the other woman was still asleep – it had been very late last night.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again so soon.” Ava replied, so quietly that Sara had to strain her ears to understand her. “You seemed upset when you left.” 

Sara thought about explaining herself, about telling Ava of her own youthful mistake and how it had derailed her life, but then she took the easy way out – with Green breathing down their necks they didn’t exactly have time for heart-to-hearts right now anyway.

“It wasn’t anything to do with you – I had a nightmare before I came to see you, and it always takes me a while to calm down again afterwards.”

Ava hummed, and if it seemed somewhat disbelieving, Sara chose to ignore it. Without seeing Ava’s face, she couldn’t be sure what Ava was feeling anyway.

“Something came up,” Sara said, trying to get their conversation back on track, “The Time Bureau called.”

“Oh.” 

Even that one word sounded so forlorn that Sara rushed to add, “We won’t give you up to them! I’ve talked to the team, and we all agree that we’ll keep you here with us.”

Ava was quiet for a long moment. “Aren’t you afraid of getting in trouble for disobeying orders?” she asked finally, and this time there was no mistaking the disbelief in her voice.

“Nah,” Sara said and then added more quietly, “It’s worth it.”

“But won’t they just try to take me by force?”

Ava sounded scared, and Sara had the sudden urge to touch her, to squeeze her hand in reassurance, but through the barrier she couldn’t even begin to guess how her gesture would be received. The thought of offering her hand to Ava only to have her refuse it made her stomach drop, and she felt foolish all of a sudden – even more so when she noticed that her hand was already reaching towards the barrier, almost of its own volition.

“We won’t let them,” she said firmly and let her arm drop back against her side. “I promise you that we won’t let them take you.” Sara cleared her throat, “I have to go now. There’s lots of things to prepare.”

She turned around and walked out of the lab so quickly that she only just caught Ava’s murmured “Thank you, Sara.” It was only after the door to the lab had already closed behind her, that Sara realized this was the first time she had ever heard Ava say her name.

***

“We’re being hailed by the Time Bureau, Captain.”

“Shit,” Sara muttered. “Mask our location, Gideon, and make sure that my conversation with Green is transmitted to everybody’s comms.”

She cleared her throat and put on her sweetest, most accommodating smile. “Put him through, Gideon.”

“Yes, Captain,” Gideon replied, and after a moment, Green’s projection flickered on in the corridor ahead of Sara.

“Ms. Lance, I trust you’re on your way to the Bureau as we speak,” Green said in a clipped tone.

“Certainly, Director Green. There are just some additional safety precautions to consider. Her powers have a rather unfortunate effect on men, after all.”

“You don’t have to concern yourself with that, Ms. Lance,” Green replied dismissively. “The Bureau is well equipped to handle any and all fugitives, no matter what their powers may be.”

“Nevertheless, I’d rather be safe than sorry, so it’ll still be a little while until we arrive at the Bureau.”

Green cocked his head and gave Sara a slow once-over that made her skin crawl. Her heart sank when a knowing smile suddenly bloomed on his face. “It’s quite touching to see you so concerned for my well-being and that of my staff,” he said in a sickly-sweet voice. “Maybe, our safest bet would be to pick up the fugitive ourselves,” he looked down for a moment, “I’d send an extraction team, but it seems you have masked your location, Ms. Lance. I wonder why that is.”

Sara smirked at him. “My team and I have decided to terminate our deal with you. It always seemed a little too one-sided for our tastes anyway.”

Green seemed amused rather than worried at this turn of events. “Very well, Ms. Lance, if that’s how you want to do this.” He shrugged and pursed his lips in mock regret, “We’ll simply have to pay you a visit and take what’s ours.”

Green looked down again, about to end the call, but then he paused for a moment and raised his head back up. “Oh, and one more thing, Ms. Lance: I’m afraid your crew will be somewhat diminished fairly soon. But don’t worry, there won’t be any shortage of manpower,” he grinned as if amused by himself. “After all, you’ll find out soon enough that I’m all the man you need.”

Chapter Text

A pardon she was granted,
So beautiful was she.

It felt like Sara had only just left the lab when she suddenly stormed back through the door again and quickly walked up to the barrier. 

“The Bureau called again,” she explained, and Ava’s heart sank even before she added, “They’re preparing to board us as we speak.” 

Ava felt overwhelmed by how quickly things were moving. The Time Bureau was already coming to get her when she hadn’t even had time to process what Sara had said to her earlier. She still couldn’t quite believe that Sara and the others were willing to defy orders for her; that they had decided to protect her, without having anything to gain from it – against their own interests even. To Ava, such selfless kindness seemed like the stuff of fairy tales.

Sara’s self-deprecating little chuckle brought Ava back out of her thoughts. “I know that you can defend yourself,” she said, and Ava marvelled at how she could still sound so calm, how she could still be relaxed enough to make a joke despite their dire situation. 

“So I need you out here and not stuck behind that barrier,” Sara continued, and Ava’s immediate reply was, “Of course.”

Sara hesitated, and for the first time since she had come in, Ava saw something like anxiety in her face. Finally, she reached out her hand through the barrier towards Ava, her palm turned up. For a moment, Ava didn’t know what to do, but then she saw the bracelet in Sara’s other hand. Suddenly feeling awkward, she tentatively placed her left hand in Sara’s palm. 

Sara’s features relaxed noticeably as soon as she felt Ava’s hand in hers. She carefully wrapped her fingers around Ava’s and put her other hand through the barrier as well. Despite being unable to see what she was doing, Sara’s movements were sure and precise as she closed the bracelet around Ava’s wrist. Her skin was warm and soft against Ava’s. It made the whole process seem strangely tender to Ava, and she couldn’t help but be reminded of the last time someone had touched her like this, the last time someone had put jewellery on her.

It was jarring how at odds the two incidents were, how different the occasion was, how contrasting the consequences would be, how unlike her Sara was. Everything was different, and yet Ava felt exactly the same. She felt that same mixture of breathless excitement and dread as all those years ago; and when Sara let go of her hand, she felt the loss of contact just as keenly as back then.

“Ray said that there’s a button on the side that you have to press,” Sara told her. Ava found it immediately, but when she pressed it, all she felt was a slight vibration at her wrist.

“Is it working?”

“I can’t really tell,” Ava admitted.

“Gideon, deactivate the electromagnetic barrier.”

The barrier around Ava dissolved, and Sara’s eyes widened slightly. “It’s working,” she said and motioned towards the door, “Let’s go meet the others.”

Ava stepped off the containment dais and started walking after Sara. Before she could reach the door, though, she caught a glimpse of her own reflection in one of the lab’s glass walls. She was surrounded by a dull gray sheen that was constantly wavering and fluctuating, the muted gray shifting into a gleaming silver every now and then. Her body was eerie enough to look at, but it was nothing compared to her face. While the electromagnetic field distorted the contours of her body, it still left them roughly discernible. Her face, on the other hand, was blurred beyond recognition, nothing more than a smooth, featureless plane stuck to the front of her head.

Ava quickly averted her eyes and followed Sara out of the lab. Once they were walking down the corridor, Sara pressed a finger to her ear, “I’ve got Ava. We’re all meeting on the bridge – now.”

The closer they got to the bridge, the more Ava worried how the others would react to her. Their home was about to be invaded because of Ava, and she knew all too well that it was one thing to decide to do the right thing, but that it was quite another to have to suffer the consequences of that decision.

The bridge turned out to be much darker than the brightly lit lab Ava had become used to. Her steps faltered for a moment when she caught sight of the large viewport that dominated the front wall. Beyond the glass, a swirling vortex of green was visible that Ava found both mesmerizing and frightening. Sara seemed to notice her fascination and explained, “It’s the temporal zone surrounding the ship, the medium that allows us to travel through time and space.”

Ava tore her eyes away from the vibrant swirls to take in the rest of the bridge. Facing the viewport was a workstation – the helm of the ship, Ava supposed – and behind it, a row of high-backed chairs that were rather uncomfortable-looking. Ray and Nate were leaning against a hexagonal structure in the middle of the room, some sort of table or console with what Zari had explained to her were screens on each side.

Ray, in particular, seemed excited to see her. “How do you like it?” he asked her, “The bracelet, I mean. How’s the handling so far?”

“Fine, I guess,” she murmured, unsure of what exactly he meant. When she saw the look of disappointment that came over his face, she quickly added, “It’s working exactly as it should.”

“And,” Nate chimed in, “it makes for a pretty cool look.” 

His face scrunched up in concentration for a moment, and Ava couldn’t suppress a gasp when his skin suddenly turned a gleaming metallic silver. Unlike her bracelet, the substance coating him didn’t obscure his features, and Ava could clearly see the broad grin on his face. He rolled up his sleeve and held his arm out next to hers. “We match!” he exclaimed, and Ava couldn’t help but smile at his infectious enthusiasm and the way the corners of Ray’s mouth turned up again at his antics.

Mick was the next to arrive, wearing an excited grin and brandishing a rather unusual-looking gun. “Hotcakes,” he rumbled, and it took Ava a moment to realize that he meant her. Before she could object, though, Charlie and Zari came in. The smiles they gave Ava were somewhat tight and immediately brought back her anxiety.

She didn’t have time to dwell on it, though, because Sara started talking as soon as the door had closed behind them, “You heard Green. We don’t have until this evening, but since I’ve masked our location from the Bureau, it should still be a little while before they board the ship…” Sara trailed off at Ray’s dubious look.

“There are plenty of ways to extrapolate our current position from our last known coordinates,” he explained, “In fact, I bet that the Bureau has protocols in place for just this kind of situation – Gideon?”

“You are correct, Dr. Palmer.” The screens embedded in the central console flickered to life, displaying a dense wall of text. “Article 15, section 7 of Time Bureau regulations stipulates that all timecraft involved in Bureau operations must be continually monitored. Subdivision d requires spatial and temporal coordinates to be recorded every 30 minutes. Assuming that these regulations are observed under Director Green…”

“Yeah, let’s assume that,” Zari snorted. 

Gideon seemed unfazed by the brief interruption and continued smoothly, “I estimate that the Waverider will be boarded by an extraction team within the next 60 to 80 minutes.”

Sara groaned and tapped on the screen closest to her. “Does this marvel of bureaucracy also outline strategies for boarding enemy timecraft?” she asked.

“Certainly, Captain.” The image onscreen shifted to display a blueprint of what Ava assumed was Sara’s ship. “Focal points of attack are the bridge, the cargo bay or any other type of weapon storage area, as well as hangar bays holding additional smaller time vessels, like the jumpship,” Gideon explained and highlighted each section as she mentioned it. “For a timecraft the size of the Waverider, an extraction team usually comprises at least 40 Bureau agents trained extensively in various close combat techniques.”

“Eh – let’s err on the side of caution and assume that it’ll be even more than that,” Sara murmured, and Ava was astonished at how unconcerned she still sounded in the face of the impossible odds they were facing.

Suddenly, the door hissed open, and Constantine stormed in. Ava curled her lip at the sight of him: he looked even more dishevelled than during his visit to the lab, and his pointedly unapologetic expression filled Ava with indignation on behalf of Sara. She couldn’t really say that she was surprised, though – he seemed just the type to flout orders and be perpetually late.

“I know what did it!” he exclaimed with a smug smirk. He opened his mouth to say more, only to clamp it shut again when he caught sight of Ava. She didn’t get the chance to question his strange behavior, though, because Sara had already raised her hand to forestall any further explanations from him, “Whatever it is, it’ll have to wait, John, we’re about to be boarded by the Time Bureau.”

Constantine seemed to take the news in stride. “Any particular reason why?” he asked offhandedly as he joined them by the central console.

“Green wanted Ava. We didn’t want to give her to him,” Charlie explained succinctly.

“Works for me.” Constantine shrugged and gave Ava a smarmy smile. What really set her teeth on edge, though, was the overly familiar wink he aimed at Sara right after and the teasing lilt to his voice when he said, “I’ve actually been looking forward to meeting the man who managed to get under the skin of the unflappable Sara Lance.”

Sara rolled her eyes at him, and it went some way towards dulling Ava’s irritation, but she was still scowling at Constantine when Gideon chimed in, “It is highly unlikely that Director Green will join the extraction team.”

“He’d pee his pants if he ever came up against us,” Mick growled to affirmative murmurs from the others, except for Sara who cleared her throat pointedly.

“Right,” she declared, obviously trying to get the meeting back on track. “Gideon has identified at least three points of attack, so we’ll split up,” she nodded briefly in Ray’s direction whose eyes lit up when she added, “according to the buddy system.”

She aimed a stern look at the rest of her crew. “You stay with your buddy at all times – I really mean it this time – and there will be absolutely no solo heroics!” She pointed her finger at Charlie and Zari, “And that goes double for you two!”

Charlie let out an annoyed huff, and Zari rolled her eyes, but Sara kept staring at them until they both nodded grudgingly.

“Charlie and Mick, you take up position by the jump ship. Nate and Ray, you take the cargo bay, and Zari and Constantine, you take the lab – I don’t want them to get their hands on any of Ray’s gadgets. I’ll stay here on the bridge,” she added, and before Ava could protest over being left out, Sara turned towards her and said, “You’re with me, Ava.”

Chapter Text

A magic wand my arm is,
My eyes two flames that shine

A metallic clang rang out over the chaos that had erupted on the bridge – loud enough for Ava to lose her focus for a moment. It wasn’t until she heard a familiar voice groan, though, that she tore her eyes away from the men crowding her towards Sara’s office. 

A quick glance in the direction of the viewport confirmed that the groan had come from Sara – she was just getting back on her feet. She shook her head once – her only concession to being thrown against the bulkhead – before immediately winding up her staff again and letting loose in a wide, arching swing that swept two Time Bureau agents off their feet. Using the swing’s momentum, she spun around, narrowly avoiding an incoming baton thrust.

Ava supposed that they should count themselves lucky that their attackers were only wielding batons and staffs instead of muskets or whatever futuristic equivalent the Bureau could have equipped them with. It had to mean that they wanted them alive. Just barely, though, judging from the ferocity of their attacks.

Ava watched as Sara ducked under a vicious strike and swung her staff upward. With a loud crack, it caught her attacker in the jaw. He fell backwards, but Sara didn’t get the chance to catch her breath as another man immediately took his place. It didn’t seem to faze Sara at all. Despite the constant onslaught, she was always one step ahead of her attackers; despite the chaos surrounding them, her movements remained focused, fluid and graceful, and Ava couldn’t help but be in awe of her skills.

“Watch out!” 

Sara’s yell brought Ava back to herself. She jerked her arm up and got her baton above her head just in time. When Sara had thrown it to her, only a few minutes ago, Ava had almost fumbled it, but now it felt secure in her grip. She wrapped her fingers even more tightly around it, before she lunged forward and thrust it into her attacker’s groin.

Ava was by no means a skilled fighter, but Ray’s bracelet gave her an edge. The dull gray sheen surrounding her had seemed to unnerve the Bureau agents at first. They had gotten over their bewilderment soon enough, but the forcefield still obscured Ava’s body – so much so that her movements were harder to anticipate. Nevertheless, the agents still got more than enough hits in, and Ava was thankful that the barrier also offered some physical protection. She still felt each and every painful blow, but she was sure that some of them would have broken bone if it hadn’t been for the forcefield.

Ava’s head suddenly jerked to the side as a baton swing connected with her temple. The barrier took the brunt of it, but it still rattled her teeth so much that she tasted blood. She felt herself sway for a moment, but then Sara was there, steadying Ava by pressing her back into hers.

“I told you to stay close!” Sara yelled, somehow managing to sound both reproachful and worried.

Ava’s head was still spinning, and it took her a moment before she could answer, “I didn’t exactly get cornered here on purpose!”

“Have you ever actually been in a fight?”

“No,” Ava gasped, only just managing to dodge a kick aimed at her midsection.

Sara groaned in reply.

“I never said I had been,” Ava panted defensively while trying to shove back one of the few women the Bureau had sent.

“It’s not that.” To Ava’s amazement, Sara was chuckling. “It just makes it even more embarrassing that I let you get the better of me.” Ava felt Sara’s body angle away from her for a moment. A man howled in pain, and Sara quickly pressed back in again. “Twice,” she added, still sounding more amused than upset.

“The element of surprise,” Ava replied breathlessly. Her next downward swing was sloppy and went wide, but Ava followed it with a swift kick to the female agent’s kneecap that made her cry out and pull back. “And some tricks I picked up when warding off some of the more handsy village boys.”

Sara laughed again just as Ava pressed herself further into her to avoid somebody’s fist, and suddenly, Ava wished for the barrier to be gone, wished she could take comfort and draw strength from the warmth and solidity of Sara’s body, maybe even feel the vibrations of Sara’s laughter against her back.

From the corner of her eye, Ava saw Sara raise a hand to her ear. “How are you holding up?” she yelled into her communications system.

Ava was close enough to hear Charlie’s breathless reply, “They tried to grab me a couple of times, but Mick really turned up the heat, and now they’ve retreated for a bit.”

“Good job, you two!” Sara sounded pleased, proud even, and Ava could hear the broad smile she had to be wearing right now in her voice, could almost see how it would dimple her cheeks and brighten her eyes. “What about you, Nate? What’s going…”

“They’re sending more, Sara!” Zari’s voice interrupted her, sounding more frantic than Ava had ever heard her, “Another portal just opened and…” The rest of Zari’s words were lost in a burst of crackling static. Sara cursed, and Ava’s eyes were suddenly drawn to a flash of light to her right. The air flickered and then rent open with a hissing sound, a window opening up that let more agents in ill-fitting suits pour onto the bridge – more of them than Ava cared to count.

Even through the forcefield, Ava could feel Sara tense up, and for the first time there was urgency and genuine worry in her voice when she said, “Stay close to me, Ava!”

Faced with the sheer number of agents, Ava felt panic well up inside her. There was no way they could win this, no way they could defeat all of them. And even if they could, even if they somehow managed to withstand this wave of attackers, the Bureau would just send more. Ava tried to force back her dread, clutching her baton and pressing herself even closer to Sara, but then the mob of bodies advanced on them – all these big, burly men gripping their weapons – and suddenly, Ava understood that there was only one thing she could do.

She dropped her baton and fumbled for the bracelet around her wrist, her fingers searching for the button on the side. When she found it and felt the bracelet vibrate against her skin, Ava looked up.

Everything had come to a stop.

Sara was the first to move again, stepping away from Ava’s back. She came to stand next to Ava, close enough that they were almost touching, but Ava still felt the distance between them acutely. She mourned the loss of that brief moment of direct contact she had been longing for earlier, because staring at the Bureau agents in front of her, Ava felt her throat close up. The men were wearing the slack-jawed expression that she was harrowingly familiar with by now, but would never get used to. What made her choke up, though, was what she saw on the female agent’s faces. Ava looked on as their expressions shifted from determination to confusion until they finally settled on a wide-eyed mixture of horror and revulsion.

Ava turned away from them, towards Sara, looking for something she couldn’t quite name – understanding maybe or forgiveness – but what she saw on Sara’s face mirrored the other women’s expressions. It was there only for a moment – Sara was quick to control her features again – but it still knocked the breath out of Ava as thoroughly as the Bureau agent’s kicks and punches had done. She felt Sara shift at her side, taking an almost imperceptible step away from her, and suddenly Ava couldn’t stand to look at her anymore.

She turned back towards the Bureau agents, and all at once, everything was in motion again – as if the women had only been waiting for Ava’s attention to shake them out of their stupor. They started yelling at each other, the air crackling around them as flashes of lights flared up. Ava squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, and when she opened them again, the women were shouting and shoving at their male colleagues, trying to push them through the portals that had burst open all over the bridge

“Come on!” Sara grabbed Ava by the arm and started dragging her towards the exit, shouldering her way past the catatonic men. Ava felt all eyes follow them and when they reached the door, the bulk of the men surged out after them into the corridor.

Sara fell into a run, hauling Ava along with her. “We’re going to the brig,” she explained breathlessly, but Ava found that she didn’t really care anymore.

As they turned a corner, Ava saw Charlie stick their head out of a door some way ahead of them. “What’s going on?” Charlie shouted, their voice echoing down the corridor so loudly that Ava could clearly understand them despite the stampede at her back.

“Brig!” Sara yelled. They passed by the door, and Charlie quickly ducked back inside to avoid the horde of men pursuing them. Above them, Gideon’s voice crackled to life, “It appears that the Time Bureau’s extraction teams are retreating, Captain. Not only from the bridge, but from the hangar, the cargo bay and the lab as well.”

Sara and Ava turned another corner and came to an abrupt halt. After just a second, though, the large door in front of them hissed open, and Sara dragged Ava into a cavernous hangar. Glass walls divided the room into cubicles – holding cells, Ava realized with a start. She looked around the room with wide eyes. It didn’t make sense to her that she had been kept in the lab when the ship was equipped with a proper jail.

Sara was still holding onto her arm, steering her to the very back of the room. The first of the men came in through the open door, and Sara took a step in front of her. The men seemed much less frantic, though, now that Ava was no longer running away from them. They slowly came closer until Sara took another step towards them and tipped her head in Ava’s direction.

“She wants you to go in there,” Sara said firmly and pointed at one of the holding cells. The men came to a stop, staring at Ava as if waiting for her confirmation. The sight of their gaping mouths and empty eyes made Ava’s stomach turn, but she pressed her lips together and gave a curt nod.

One by one, the men started shuffling into the holding cell Sara had indicated. When there was no more room, Sara closed the cell door and directed the next batch to another cell, repeating the process until all of them were locked up. The men didn’t put up any resistance. They were content to just stand and stare at Ava, their faces pressed to the cells’ glass walls.

For a moment, Sara just looked back at them, an unreadable expression on her face. Then she put a finger to her ear and ordered, “Everybody to the brig!”

Ava saw her turn towards her and averted her eyes, already pushing the button at her wrist before Sara could ask her to. Her bracelet vibrated and the electromagnetic barrier flickered on just as Charlie and Mick stormed in through the door. Nate and Ray arrived next, and by the time Zari and Constantine rushed into the room, everybody was already talking over each other.

Sara pointedly cleared her throat. “Ava used her powers,” she announced once everybody had calmed down. Her voice sounded so odd, so formal and detached, that Ava felt her chest tighten. She crossed her arms in front of it and kept her eyes focused on Ray as Sara continued to quietly explain what had happened on the bridge. When she arrived at the moment Ava had turned off the barrier, her voice grew even more muted, and Ava had to give it her all not to react.

Once Sara was finally finished, the crew crowded around Ava. Nate shook her hand, Mick slapped her on the back approvingly and, for just a moment, Zari looked as if she was going to hug her. She settled for a nod and a wide smile in the end. That smile and the others’ open, relieved expressions made for such a stark contrast to what Ava had seen on Sara’s face that Ava suddenly had to blink back tears. She squeezed her eyes shut – thankful that the barrier turned her face into nothing but a smooth mask – and only opened them up again when she suddenly heard Sara’s voice by her side. 

“We’ll set you up in some proper quarters,” she murmured. She sounded warmer now, almost like Ava had grown used to during their talks in the lab, and it was nearly enough to weaken Ava’s resolve. In the end, she didn’t dare look at Sara’s face, though, for fear of what she might find there.

“I’ll show you to a spare room,” Ray smiled at her before he added, “Thanks again for saving the day! How was it on the bridge? Things in the cargo bay got pretty wild! There were just so many of them! Nate was almost…” Ava tuned out his chatter as he led her out of the brig. She couldn’t bring herself to care about what had happened to Nate or the layout of her new room or any of the other things Ray was telling her about. She was simply glad that she didn’t have to concentrate on avoiding Sara’s eyes anymore.

Chapter Text

For everything must wither
Now that he’s not with me.

“I want you to put your head together with Gideon.” Sara kept her eyes fixed on Zari as Ray led Ava out of the brig. “There must be a way to mask our location that will actually work,” Sara added, and Zari gave a quick nod before following the other two out of the brig to make her way towards the bridge.

Sara stared at the spot Zari had stood in for a moment longer. She couldn’t shake off the memory of what had just happened on the bridge: how everybody had suddenly fallen silent; how Sara had stepped away from Ava and had finally seen her again – without any barrier between them. 

Until that moment, Sara hadn’t realized just how much she had missed simply looking at Ava’s face. Rationally, she knew that it had been less than three days, but it had felt like much longer since she had last seen Ava’s eyes, her lips and the strong line of her jaw. Ava’s hair had been a mess, sticking to her cheeks and neck in sweaty, unruly tangles; she had been breathing heavily, her face drawn into a wide-eyed expression of distress. Even like this, she had been beautiful, though – just as beautiful as Sara had remembered her, as she had been in Sara’s dreams – and suddenly, despite the adrenaline rush of the fight and the danger they were still in, all Sara had felt was relief at finally seeing Ava’s face again.

Now, though, she couldn’t even bring herself to watch Ava walk out of the room; she couldn’t even bear to look at her back, at the dull electromagnetic field surrounding her when all she had wanted to do only a few minutes ago was to keep staring at her face for as long as Ava would let her. 

But as much as Sara had been affected by finally seeing Ava again, she found that she simply couldn’t get over what had happened afterwards. Seeing the effects of Ava’s powers up close had been nothing short of chilling. Even now, the Bureau agents’ eyes were still glassy, their expressions gone slack and vacant, their mouths hanging open uselessly. It was deeply unsettling, but Sara found that she simply couldn’t look away, and suddenly the memories came rushing back: the rank sea water flooding her lungs, the agonized faces of Ivo’s prisoners, the wheezing last breaths of Ta-er al-Sahfer’s marks, the Lazarus Pit and the vast emptiness afterwards, the bloodlust. Sara knew what it felt like to lose control. She knew what it meant to be so completely enthralled with something that everything else ceased to matter. She knew the unrestrained exhilaration that came with giving in to your emotions – and what it had cost her.

Sara’s eyes swept over the glass cells again. Taking in the men’s empty stares and blank expressions, she couldn’t suppress a shudder. She had been planning to interrogate them about Green’s plans – to find out what they had been ordered to do with Zari and Charlie – but seeing them now, she knew that she wouldn’t get anything useful out of them; they were simply not themselves at the moment. Sara was about to turn away from them again when her eyes got stuck on a familiar face.

She recognized the man as Collins, an agent they had worked with during one of their first missions with the Bureau – back when Rip was still around, and the Legends had volunteered their help rather than being blackmailed by Green into doing his bidding. During the mission, Collins had not only proven himself to be a capable agent, he had also seemed like a decent enough guy to Sara. Seeing as he was working with Green now, her first impression had obviously been way off the mark, though.

Collins was still staring at the door through which Ava had disappeared just now – just like all the other agents. And just like with all the others, the effect that Ava had on him was plain to see on his face. The mesmerization had distorted his features so much that it was a wonder Sara had even recognized him in the first place. After just another moment, though, he slowly closed his gaping mouth, and Sara was surprised to see his eyes clearing up. He shook his head and looked around the room in confusion.

Sara squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and tried to shake off her own confusion and distress. She needed to focus. Against all odds, she had a prisoner to interrogate; she couldn’t afford to dwell on Ava’s terrible powers or her own muddled feelings for her. The sound of Collins clearing his throat forced Sara’s eyes back open again – even though she was still feeling anything but composed.

“Lance?” Collins asked groggily, “What are you doing here? Where are we?”

Sara cocked her head at him, “Well, I am right where I should be, Agent Collins. Aboard my own ship. You, on the other hand, are in the brig – because you tried to board my ship.”

“And while wearing one of the most hideous suits I ever laid eyes on, too,” Charlie chimed in. They were wearing a wide grin and stage-whispering so loudly that Sara had trouble suppressing a smile of her own. She clucked her tongue regretfully. “Polyblend,” she murmured out of the corner of her mouth and then couldn’t hold back her smirk any longer at the sight of Collins’s outraged glare. 

“These are wool uniforms,” he muttered petulantly.

“I’m sure they are,” Sara replied indulgently before mock-admonishing Charlie, “Now’s not the time to be rude to our guests, Charlie. We’re here to ask our friends from the Time Bureau for their help after all.” 

She turned back to face Collins again, “We need you to help us out with some information, Agent Collins. So we’ll have a little chat – from one time traveler to the other, in the spirit of inter-agency cooperation, so to speak.” She put on her sweetest smile before she added, “Now, why don’t you tell us all about Director Green’s orders regarding my crew members, Agent Collins? The sooner you do, the sooner we can clear up this little misunderstanding,” Sara gestured at the cell’s locked glass door, “and send you on your way again.”

Collins scoffed loudly, but Sara was pleased to see something like uncertainty in his eyes. “I’m not telling you anything, and if you think that…” he began forcefully before trailing off and blurting out an incredulous “Director Green?” 

“Yes, Collins. Director Gary Green’s orders,” Sara drawled, enunciating each word with exaggerated slowness, “Don’t try to pretend you’re not privy to mission plans. With your level of seniority, I wouldn’t be surprised if Green personally reviewed them with you. So please spare us all the amateur theatrics and stop playing dumb.” Sara eyed him warily. She hadn’t really expected him to cooperate right away, but as far as stalling techniques went, this one seemed pretty clumsy.

Collins stared back at her for a few moments before finally shaking his head with a snort. “Good one, Lance,” he scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

Sara raised her eyebrows at him; she had no idea what Collins was hoping to achieve with his strange behavior. Her genuine confusion seemed to unsettle the man, because he suddenly stopped grinning, and the uncertainty Sara had glimpsed earlier was back in his eyes again.

“What’s going on here, Lance?” he asked, and Sara was surprised to hear his voice waver a little.

“You tell me, Collins. It was you who boarded my ship after all, and now I want to know why. So what were your orders from Director Green?”

Sara only noticed how much Collins must have slumped in on himself over the course of their conversation when he abruptly pulled himself up again. Standing ramrod-straight now, he pressed both hands against the glass wall. “You’re being serious?” he murmured, “Gary Green is the Director of the Time Bureau?” His eyes were wide, eyebrows drawn up to his hairline, and although he was a capable agent, Sara didn’t think him a good enough actor to fake this level of bewilderment. “Is this some sort of anachronism?” he asked helplessly, “What year is this?” 

Instead of answering, Sara took one last searching look at his stunned expression and then signalled for the Legends to follow her outside into the corridor. Once the door to the brig had hissed shut behind them, it burst out of Sara, “What the hell is going on?”

The others seemed just as confused as she was – with the exception of John who was lounging against the bulkhead with a smug smirk on his face. He looked around the group for a moment, seemingly enjoying their baffled expressions, before he finally supplied, “They’ve been mesmerized.”

Sara took a deep breath and let it out through her nose again. “Yes, John,” she said, as calmly as she could, “We’re well aware of that.”

“I’m not talking about Sharpie,” he countered, his smirk growing even more pronounced, “I mean before that: they had already been mesmerized before they came on board, before they ever laid eyes on her.” 

“What are you talking about?” Sara shook her head in irritation. “Why would they have been mesmerized before? And who could even have done that?”

“The memory loss, the disorientation – it’s all fairly obvious if you ask me. This Collins fellow doesn’t remember who his boss is, who has been his boss for months now. A whopping memory lapse like that isn’t something that could’ve been caused by Sharpie’s mesmerization. It certainly didn’t happen to that fisherman you pulled out of the sea. As for who put him in this state…” John looked thoughtful for a moment, “Green, most likely.”

“Green?” Sara gaped at him.

“It’s not only that Collins didn’t remember that Green was his boss, he behaved as if the whole thing was some kind of joke to him, as if Green was some kind of joke to him. The way he said Green’s name – all contemptuous and dismissive – when these Bureau types have been nothing short of reverent towards Green before now. It all points towards Green as the source of the mesmerization – it completely changed people’s perception of him after all.”

Sara scoffed, “So, Green wanted people to like him, and the only way he could think to do it was to turn himself into a magical creature?”

“I never said that,” John huffed, rolling his eyes at her, “I mean, yes, I suppose he could be one, but it’s just as likely that he got his hands on some mystical artifact or that he’s under someone’s magical influence himself. I’d have to get a look at him to find out what caused this.” 

“And why would he need to mesmerize his own agents? They have to follow his orders anyway, whether they like him or not,” Nate chimed in.

“Ah, ah,” John smiled slyly and wagged his forefinger in an obnoxious gesture of fatherly admonishment, “But they weren’t always his agents, were they? You said that he was just a junior agent not so long ago, and then he suddenly rose to power after Neron’s attempt to take over the Bureau. From an insignificant pencil pusher straight to the director of the whole thing – that’s certainly a remarkable career path, isn’t it? Why, it’s almost as if Green was suddenly imbued with some new, preternatural talent at his job.”

Nate frowned. “So, what you’re saying is that all these agents have been under Green’s influence for what, months now? And now they’re suddenly just not? That doesn’t make any sense!”

“Sure it does, squire,” John replied evenly, “They were mesmerized again just now – by Sharpie. Your mind can’t have two masters, so the more recent mesmerization wins out. Only Sharpie’s brand isn’t designed for the long-term – not like Green’s seems to be. That’s why, now that her influence has worn off, they’re back to how they were before Green got to them.”

“Makes sense,” Charlie piped up and shrugged when the others turned to look at them with disbelieving eyes, “I know it sounds bonkers, but that’s just how these things work. So – and you have no idea how much it pains me to say this – I’m with John-o on this.”

Sara pinched the bridge of her nose. “Let’s pretend for a moment that the two of you are right,” she said, “That would mean that the Time Bureau has been under outside influence – under magical influence – ever since Neron tried to take over. All the changes Green pushed through – the crackdown on magical creatures, the supermax prisons, the harnessing of their powers – all of that would have been done not to protect the timeline, but to some other end, and knowing Green it’s probably a pretty nefarious one.”

“That about sums it up,” John agreed with a shrug.

“Alright.” Sara couldn’t suppress the small sigh that escaped her. She suddenly wished to be back in her office – where the good bottle of scotch was. “Then I guess we’ll have to figure out a way to break Green’s spell and take back the Time Bureau.”

“Now, wait a minute! Why should we care what happens to those Bureau idiots?” Mick protested, “Why should we have to clean up their mess?” 

Before Sara could answer, Charlie turned towards him. “It’s fine if you don’t give a shit about those agents, Mick, or about the timeline – even if giving a shit about it is literally your one job – but taking out Green will also keep Zari and me safe, and maybe that could be enough of a motivation even for you,” they declared so forcefully that even Mick couldn’t help but look a little bit chastised. He grumbled his assent and busied himself with his heat gun again.

“Great.” Sara pushed herself off the bulkhead she had gradually sunken into while John’s explanations had grown more and more outlandish. “Everybody try to get some rest. We meet on the bridge in two hours to come up with a plan of how to infiltrate the Bureau and take out Green.”

The group started breaking up, the crew heading back to their quarters or in Nate’s case – his hair was looking a little worse for wear – the communal bathroom when John suddenly put a hand on Sara’s arm. 

“One more thing, love,” he murmured, “I know it sure came in handy just now, but if you’re still interested in getting rid of Sharpie’s curse…”

“Of course, John!” Sara interrupted him.

“I had a little chat with Charlie the other day,” he began to explain, “Asked them if they noticed anything unusual about Sharpie.”

“And?” Sara prompted impatiently.

“It’s the necklace.”

Sara stared at him blankly. “What do you mean?”

“The cursed object, it’s the necklace.”

When Sara just continued to stare at him, John huffed out a breath, clearly annoyed at having to spell things out for her. “She wasn’t cursed verbally; it wasn’t a spell or some incantation that did it. I knew right away when she just broke out of those magical shackles I made for her. She could only do that because she already had a magical item on her person: the cursed object. It’s an artefact that has been imbued with a curse, and when it’s picked up by somebody or given to them, the curse is transferred onto that person. In Sharpie’s case, it’s the necklace that cursed her; the necklace is the source of her powers.”

“Charlie said that she got that necklace from her ex,” Sara murmured, still trying to wrap her head around John’s revelation.

“Well, then it was her ex who cursed her,” John replied with a shrug.

“But… that’s terrible!”

“Curses usually are, love.” John gave Sara’s shoulder a consoling pat.

“How can you be so sure it’s the necklace, though, and not anything else she’s wearing?” Sara asked, unwilling to believe that a loved one could have done this to Ava. 

“Charlie said it was what seemed most interesting to them about her,” John explained, “Cursed objects attract attention – how else would you get people to pick them up?”

“But if you’re right, then all she has to do is take it off, doesn’t she?” Sara said, feeling hopeful all of a sudden, “She just takes off the necklace and she’s free of the curse, right?”

John pursed his lips, and Sara could feel her own face fall. “I’m afraid it’s not that simple, Sara. The cursed object bonds with its bearer; it can’t simply be taken off – wouldn’t be much of a curse then, would it?”

“So there’s no way to get it off her? No way to free her of her powers?” Sara asked softly, “She’ll have to be cursed forever?”

“I didn’t say that,” John said carefully, “No curse is fail-safe; there are loopholes – usually, that is.” He cocked his head thoughtfully. “Sometimes, those’re even the whole point of the curse.”

“Like Sleeping Beauty was awakened by true love’s kiss,” Sara murmured.

John scrunched up his face in distaste. “If you must resort to americanized bastardizations of cock-and-bull stories, then yes, exactly like that,” he muttered, “Don’t get your hopes up too high, though: right now, I haven’t got a clue if the necklace’s curse can be broken and what it would take to do it. I’d have to examine it up close to find out.”

“And you can’t exactly do that while she’s still wearing it,” Sara nodded in understanding, “Can’t any of us just do it for you?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I was thinking,” John agreed, “You could take a proper look at it the next time you two lovebirds meet up; maybe even draw me up a sketch…”

“I’ll get Charlie to do it,” Sara interrupted him quickly.

John raised his eyebrows at her. He gave her a long considering look, and suddenly that obnoxious smirk was back on his face again. He briefly tapped two fingers against his temple before turning away from her and wandering off towards his quarters. 

“Whatever suits you best, love,” he called over his shoulder – much too cheerfully for Sara’s liking – before disappearing around a bend in the corridor.

Chapter Text

The knightsmen stop to tether
Their steeds where they might rest

Ava woke up to the glare of the overhead lights. She was sure that she had turned them off the moment the door had closed behind Ray. There was nothing worth looking at in her new quarters after all: not the bare walls with their empty shelves, not the nondescript bed and dresser and least of all the large mirror mounted next to the door. Now though, as she blinked her eyes open, the room was once more awash with stark artificial light. With a soft groan, Ava squeezed her eyes shut again and turned over onto her stomach, burying her face in the warmth and darkness of her pillow. 

“I am sorry to wake you, Ms. Sharpe,” Gideon’s voice rang out from the ceiling, “But your presence is required on the bridge. Captain Lance has scheduled a strategy meeting in 15 minutes’ time.”

At the mention of Sara’s name, Ava pressed her face deeper into the pillow. She stayed like that for a few moments – for as many moments as she could – until the need for air finally became overwhelming, and she had to push herself up on her elbows to draw in a shuddering breath. After another deep breath, she freed herself from the covers, climbed out of bed and immediately started to put it in order. 

Making the bed always had a calming effect on Ava. It was a relief to be able to just stop thinking for a while and mindlessly follow the reassuringly simple steps they had taught her at the convent. For the next few minutes, Ava’s focus narrowed down to the bedclothes; her one objective became aligning edges and straightening out wrinkles, her only concern the unfamiliar bottom sheet with its sewn-in corners. When she was finished, the bed was all straight lines and sharp creases, a sight that unfailingly brought back the memory of the small, approving smiles the nuns used to give her while overseeing her work.

Ava smoothed her fingers over a stubborn wrinkle in the comforter and tried to put her thoughts in order. She knew that she couldn’t hide in her quarters forever; she would have to confront Sara eventually, and the sooner she got it over with, the better.

When Ava turned around to leave for the bridge, though, she was first confronted with herself. The mirror by the door reflected Ava’s own face back at her. She hadn’t looked at it in a while; the last inadvertent glimpse she had caught of it had been in the glass pane of a food stall on the Santa Cruz boardwalk, her features distorted against the backdrop of a strange machine stretching and twisting a bright pink piece of candy. Now, in the sterile emptiness of her new quarters, there was nothing to distract Ava from what she was seeing. This was the face that had turned all those Bureau agents into mindless puppets, the face that had doomed countless other men before them. It was the face that the nuns had sneered at, that Ava’s own mother had averted her eyes from, the face that had made Sara’s lips curl with revulsion.

Her mouth suddenly dry, Ava kept staring into the mirror as she blindly reached for the bracelet around her wrist. She pressed the button and watched her face disappear behind the smooth façade of the electromagnetic barrier. Only after her face had been completely obscured, replaced with a featureless even plane, did she finally walk towards the door. She was already reaching out her hand to activate the door opener Ray had pointed out to her when a low chime sounded. Ava’s fingers touched the small rectangle embedded in the doorframe, and not a second later the door slid open, and Ava was staring into Sara’s surprised face.

Sara quickly let the hand she had raised up to the door chime fall back to her side. For a few seconds, it seemed as if she couldn’t quite decide where to look, but then her eyes settled at the base of Ava‘s neck.

Ava tried to swallow down the feeling that crawled up her throat when she realized that Sara wouldn’t look at her face, that she didn’t want to look at it, not even when she couldn’t see it, hidden as it was beneath the dull gray of the electromagnetic barrier. For a moment, Ava was unable to name the emotion clogging up her throat, but then her eyes caught on the vivid blue of Sara’s eyes. Looking into them, she couldn’t help but remember how they would grow even brighter when Sara smiled, how the corners of her lips would turn up and her cheeks would dimple, and all at once, Ava understood that she was furious – with Sara, but even more so with herself. Once again, she had let beauty lead her astray. Ava should know so much better, and yet she had once again put all her trust in someone who was nothing more than a pretty face, a glossy veneer that cracked at the first sign of adversity.

“I came to pick you up,” Sara mumbled. Her arms were hanging loosely by her sides, but the movement of her hands caught Ava’s attention. She looked down to see them clenching into fists, Sara’s fingernails pressing crescents into the skin of her palms. “There’s a meeting on the bridge,” Sara continued, “and I wasn’t sure…” she trailed off and cleared her throat.

Ava brought her eyes back up, careful not to look into Sara’s face again. Instead, she focused on the rigid set of Sara’s shoulders. “Yes, Gideon has already told me,” Ava said stiffly, “I’m sure she would have guided me to the bridge as well.”

The end of her sentence hung in the air between them until Sara gave another small cough. Her shoulders shifted upwards slightly, the muscles tensing up even more, before she abruptly turned sideways and started walking towards the bridge. Ava followed her without another word. She kept her eyes on the strained lines of Sara’s back, trying to ignore the way her hair gently brushed along her shoulder blades with every step she took. The bridge was relatively close to Ava’s quarters, but the tense silence between Sara and her made the walk there seem interminably long. 

Ava suppressed a sigh of relief when the door to the bridge finally came into view. It hissed open to reveal most of Sara’s crew already waiting for them, and Ava couldn’t help the bitterness that welled up in her throat when she noticed how the set of Sara’s shoulders relaxed as soon as she caught sight of them.

Zari was leaning over the hexagonal console in the center of the bridge, staring intently at one of the screens embedded into it. Charlie was pressed to her side and peering over her shoulder while Nate was standing next to them, looking expectantly at Sara and Ava as they entered the bridge. Over by the viewport, Mick was slumped in one of the uncomfortable-looking chairs and sipping from a beer bottle. Only Ray and Constantine were nowhere to be seen.

Ava kept her eyes on Nate as she walked into the room. Unlike Sara, he was looking at where he suspected her face to be – and he was smiling at her. “Hi, Ava,” he greeted her once she had reached the console. Charlie followed suit by giving her a friendly nod, and even Zari glanced up briefly to smile at Ava. 

When Ava looked over at Mick, he was already tipping the neck of his bottle towards her. The movement drew Ava’s eyes to the bottle’s red and white label, and she felt the corners of her mouth quirk up despite herself. 

“Hotcakes.” 

Ava briefly thought about protesting, but then she just huffed out a resigned sigh at Mick‘s antics. Ignoring him for now, she quietly asked the others, “How are the agents doing?” 

“You did quite a number on them, Sharpie.” 

Ava was startled to suddenly hear Constantine’s smug voice. She grimaced; the nickname set her teeth on edge. It was rude and disrespectful – just like the man himself – and Ava chose to ignore the fact that she should probably be just as bothered, if not more so, by Mick’s insistence on calling her Hotcakes.

She turned around to find Constantine lounging in a leather armchair in Sara’s office. His feet were propped up on a small coffee table that was standing askew – as if he had carelessly dragged it across the room to misuse it as his footrest. Ava’s eyes lingered on the dirt-caked soles of his shoes for a moment before she looked up to take in the annoying grin on his face. 

“But don’t you worry, it was just what the doctor ordered.” Constantine chuckled. He let his feet drop off the table and pushed himself out of the armchair to make his way over to the central console. “Because yours wasn’t their first mesmerization, you see. It seems that Green dabbles in it too, so you actually did those chaps a favor when you put them under your spell. And now…”

“I didn’t put a spell on them!” Ava cut him off. She hated when people put it like that – like in those terrible poems – how they made it sound magical, romantic even, when it was anything but. By now, Constantine was standing right next to her, so Ava tried her best to lower her voice before she added, “It’s a curse.”

“Yes, I know, love,” he replied quietly, and for a moment Ava saw something flicker across his face that she could almost have mistaken for compassion – if it hadn’t immediately been replaced with his trademark obnoxious smirk again. “But a rather useful one at that,” he added lightly.

Ava clenched her jaw, but before she could snap at him again, Sara pointedly cleared her throat. It saved Ava from having to deal with Constantine any longer, but she nevertheless felt her annoyance grow – it seemed as if hemming and hawing was all Sara was capable of doing around Ava at this point.

“What John means is that it seems like the Time Bureau agents were already under some kind of magical influence when they boarded the ship. And when you…” Sara hesitated briefly, her eyes still anywhere but on Ava’s face, “showed yourself to them, you broke through that influence. We think that it was Green who originally had them under his control – it’s probably how he managed to take over the Bureau in the first place. The Bureau wasn’t always so bad; it all started when Green became Director, so what we want to do now is put Green out of commission...”

Sara was interrupted by Ray rushing onto the bridge, an apologetic smile on his face. “Sorry I’m late. I was getting my Atom suit mission-ready and lost track of time,” he announced sheepishly. 

“It’s fine, Ray,” Sara told him before she took up again where she had left off, “Our plan is to infiltrate the Bureau, capture Green and take back control of the Bureau.” Sara’s explanations were supposedly for Ava’s benefit, but she was addressing the whole group rather than Ava by now. “And when John says Ava’s curse is useful, he means that we won’t be able to do any of that without her. If we want to defeat Green we have to get to him first. He’ll be heavily guarded by all the agents still under his control, and right now Ava is the only one who can free them of his influence.” 

“We already know that Green’s brand of mesmerization is no match for Sharpie’s after all,” Constantine butted in, “That’s the thing about magic – it does have its weak points.” 

Ava didn’t miss the meaningful look he shot Sara’s way as he said this, and she also couldn’t fail to notice the subdued smile that Sara gave him in return. It made Ava‘s chest feel tight. She would never understand why Sara even bothered with this crude, disrespectful man; why she would choose to spend time with this ridiculous self-proclaimed master of the dark arts. Thankfully, it wasn't of any concern to Ava anymore – not that it ever had been. For all she cared, Sara could waste all of her time on John; they could share as many meaningful glances and secret smiles as they wanted to. Ava had no idea what Sara saw in him, but it must have been something good, something worthwhile, because for all his rude insolence, Constantine was someone whom Sara could smile at; he was someone whom she could bear to look in the face.

“So will you help us, Ava?” 

Sara’s quiet question drew Ava out of her thoughts. For a moment she didn’t understand what Sara was asking of her, but then Ava remembered how useful her curse was; how Sara needed it for her plan to succeed; how the curse was all that Sara cared about when it came to her.

“Yes,” Ava said softly. 

It took a few seconds before Sara gave an abrupt nod and turned her attention to Zari. “What did you and Gideon manage to come up with, Z?” she asked.

“So, the bad news first: all of our time couriers are dead,” Zari announced and held up her arm to show a black bracelet around her wrist. Ava recognized it as the same one Sara had used to open the window through which she had dragged Ava from the Santa Cruz boardwalk and onto the ship.

“The Bureau must have disabled them remotely, so unlike them, we can’t just portal where we want to go,” Zari continued. She grimaced slightly before adding, “And I hate to say it, but there’s also worse news: there’s no way to hide our location from the Bureau – at least not for long.”

“Good! We don’t want to hide,” Mick called over, “We want to smoke out the whole pathetic lot of those pencil pushers!”

Zari turned and raised her eyebrows at him. “Well, I’m guessing the element of surprise might come in handy then,” she replied drily, “And we obviously wouldn’t have that if the Bureau can track our position. Can I continue now?”

Mick’s only reply was a grunt, and Zari rolled her eyes at him before she tapped on the screen she had been leaning over earlier. The remaining console screens lit up to show what Zari had been studying: a schematic of several concentric circles that looked like the growth rings in a tree trunk. Ava watched as a moving dot appeared onscreen, putting a dent into one of the rings and bending it out of shape. The distortion carried over from one ring to the next, and soon the entire image was moving and shifting until the dent was clearly visible in every concentric circle on display. 

“Wherever we pop up, we’ll leave a temporal signature that the Bureau will be able to register and track – sort of like a ripple in the timeline.” Zari explained. “We can buy ourselves some time by zipping around the timeline for a while.” Zari tapped her screen again, and several more dots appeared, denting and bending different circles out of shape. “It’ll create multiple overlapping ripples and disentangling those will draw out the Bureau’s tracking process for a little while,” Zari said, “But in the end, it’ll always only be a question of when they find us, not if they will.”

Everybody was quiet for a moment, and Ava couldn’t help but check on Sara’s reaction to the sobering news. To Ava’s surprise, Sara didn’t appear resigned at all. She was leaning over the central console, her face scrunched up in concentration as she stared at the screen in front of her. “This time signature,” she murmured, “Does it scale with the timeship?” Sara cut herself off and shook her head a little, obviously unhappy with how she had phrased her question, “What I mean is: will a small timeship also cause a small temporal ripple effect? One that’s less noticeable to the Bureau than say the ripple caused by the Waverider?”

“Yes,” Zari replied after looking thoughtful for a moment.

Sara hummed. “So, hypothetically, if we created enough of those overlapping ripples, we would be able to hide a small temporal signature – like the one from the jumpship – in there?”

Zari cocked her head at Sara, a small grin starting to form on her lips. “Create a diversion with the Waverider, and blindside them with the jumpship.” She nodded. “It’s not a bad idea – what do you say, Gideon?”

Ava flinched in surprise when a disembodied head suddenly appeared above the central console. The head was blue and bald and hovering in mid-air, and it was only when it opened its mouth that Ava realized that it belonged to Gideon, “I estimate a 27% probability of success, Ms. Tomaz.”

Ava’s heart sank at hearing the odds, but when she glanced over at Sara again, she saw her pursing her lips – as if pleasantly surprised. “Pretty good odds for us, thank you, Gideon!”

“You are welcome, Captain Lance.”

“We’d have to be very precise, though,” Ray chimed in, “Time the launch of the jumpship to coincide exactly with a jump of the Waverider.”

“I want you and Zari to work out the timing for that,” Sara told him, “But first we have to figure out what we’ll do when we actually manage to get to the Bureau. Gideon, can you show us the layout of the Bureau headquarters?”

“Certainly, Captain,” the disconcerting head replied as a set of blueprints appeared on the console screens. 

“Now, let’s assume that we manage to get there undetected,” Sara murmured, “How do we actually get into the building without anyone noticing?” 

“Parking garage,” Mick grunted from his chair by the viewport.

Not missing a beat, Gideon zoomed in on a section of the blueprints, “Mr. Rory is referring to the Time Bureau’s multi-storey car park.”

“I ran out of beer the last time those time pigs made us report to them,” Mick cut in, and Gideon was once again able to make sense of his seeming non-sequitur. 

“The Time Bureau shares its car park with a neighboring shopping center. The Bureau has dedicated levels at its disposal,” Gideon explained while the image onscreen switched to a side view of the building, the three highest levels lighting up. “However, in comparison to other U.S. government facilities, security measures in the parking area are relatively lax – there is even a parking validation scheme in place.”

“Alright, so we get in through the parking garage and then we’ll just do what we did when we took out Neron,” Sara started, only to be interrupted by Mick again.

“But this time I’m taking a souvenir,” he announced loudly, suddenly sitting up straighter in his chair, “I’m getting my diary back!”

“Bagsy on that foosball table in Green’s office!” Charlie chimed in as Zari mused aloud, “We could use his cotton candy machine for the galley.” 

Ray and Nate loudly joined in on the conversation, making it impossible for Ava to understand what was being said. She saw Charlie affectionately bump their shoulder against Zari’s while Nate gesticulated animatedly in Ray’s direction, a broad grin on his face. Ava tried to remember the last time anybody had grinned at her like that. Her supposed friend at the convent had been much too reserved for silly antics or overt displays of affection, so it must have been one of the neighbors’ children she used to play with when she was still a child. Ava tried to recall how their smiles had made her feel back then, her throat constricting when she found that she couldn’t. 

“Can we please focus?” Sara interrupted them, an annoyed frown on her face, “We’re not looting the place!” She turned towards Charlie and Zari and added, “You two won’t be going anywhere near the Bureau anyway. It’s much too dangerous – we have no way of knowing if Green has already messed with the timeline and gotten to your younger selves. So you’ll stay put in the temporal zone, on the Waverider – I’m not taking any chances.”

“Ugh, I hate being on the B-team!” Zari complained while Charlie groaned and threw up their hands in disgust.

“It’s safer that way, and there will be no discussion!” Sara insisted.

“Yes, mum,” Charlie muttered, but Sara only glared at them until they scrunched up their face into a petulant frown and pressed out, “Fine.”

“Thank you!” Sara said pointedly before turning back towards the rest of the group. “Now where were we?”

“Rehashing the Neron mission,” Nate provided helpfully.

“But will we even be able to do that?” Ray asked, “Back then, we had working time couriers after all.”

“We won’t need them this time around,” Sara assured him, “Gideon, can you point out Green’s office for us?” 

A rectangle in the middle of the blueprints lit up and Gideon’s strange apparition announced, “Director Green’s office is located centrally, on the topmost floor of the building.”

“We’ll get there through the air ducts,” Sara proposed and Gideon dutifully highlighted a complex network of tunnels that apparently made up the Time Bureau’s ventilation system.

“Going through the vents and grabbing him? I like it!” Mick had gotten out of his chair to peer at the blueprints over Nate’s shoulder and seemed to be full of gleeful excitement.

“It’s very Die Hard,” Nate murmured approvingly while Ray nodded his head, wearing one of his eager, boyish smiles. He held out his fist for Nate to bump his own against and then leaned close to envelop him in a one-armed hug. Nate returned the embrace enthusiastically, and Ava was suddenly struck by the memory of how he had held his own arm next to hers, showing her his steel skin that was so similar – if only in color – to the electromagnetic barrier separating her from the crew.

“Twits,” Charlie muttered, and Zari let out an amused snort. Without even realizing it, Ava had let her eyes stray again, but when she caught sight of the small, fond smile playing on Sara’s lips, Ava quickly looked back at the men’s enthusiastic faces.

“One of you has to stay on the Waverider, by the way, as backup for Z and Charlie.” Sara’s casual comment was enough to immediately dampen the men’s spirits. Mick’s face twisted into an angry scowl while Nate and Ray groaned in unison.

“And since we may need the Atom for this,” Sara continued in the same unconcerned tone, “it’s not gonna be Ray.”

At hearing this, Ray did a little fist bump that Ava couldn’t help but find endearing. When she looked back at the other two, she found that Mick had started to grin while a determined expression had settled on Nate’s face. They turned towards one another, and Nate made a show of rolling up his sleeves.

“Bring it on, Pretty.” Mick sounded remarkably sure of himself, and Ava could see Nate’s confidence falter for just a second.

The men each placed a hand out in front of them, palms turned up. Making a fist with the other hand, they tapped it into their own palm three times before opening the fist. Mick held out two of his fingers while Nate had outstretched all five of them. 

Nate was scowling at Mick’s fingers, and Ava had no idea why. Like the rest of the crew’s interactions it was completely baffling to her. She didn’t know what a B-team was or why Mick’s diary was at the Time Bureau or why crawling through ventilation tunnels felt like dying hard to Nate. She didn’t understand any of it, least of all why Sara had even made her join this meeting in the first place when she had absolutely nothing to contribute to it.

“Best of three,” Nate demanded, and Mick shrugged his assent with a grin. They repeated the process once more with the exact same result, right down to Nate’s disappointed frown when he caught sight of the two fingers Mick held out to him. 

Nate let out a loud groan as Mick walked off to slump back into his chair again, grinning all the way over to the viewport. Ray started patting Nate’s shoulder consolingly, in a gesture so casual and practiced that it made Ava’s chest  feel tight. Nate opened his mouth as if to protest, only to be cut off by Sara.

“Don’t Nate.” She shook her head at him. “Fair’s fair and what’s more, everybody has an important part to play in this. There’s no such thing as a B-team around here after all,” she added with a pointed glare at Zari.

“Except there is,” Mick called over from his chair, “And you’re on it, Pretty.”

Ignoring Nate’s answering scowl, Sara turned back towards the rest of the group. “Gideon will plot a course according to the specifications that Zari and Ray come up with. The rest of you: try to get a good night’s sleep.” 

Ava expected the team to start leaving the bridge, but they all seemed to be waiting for something, their attention focused on Sara.

“I’m not in the mood,” Sara murmured quietly, and now that Ava was really looking at her again, she was caught off guard by how dull Sara’s usually vibrant eyes seemed.

Everybody started moving towards the door then, but Ava suddenly thought about staying behind. For just a moment, she allowed herself to wonder what would happen if she talked to Sara; what Sara would say if Ava confronted her about the fight on the bridge or how she wouldn’t look at Ava now. For a moment, Ava imagined working up the courage to ask and maybe even learning the reason behind the sad look in Sara’s eyes.

But in the very next moment, Constantine was standing close to Sara and leaning towards her to put his hand on her forearm. “A word, love,” Ava heard him murmur, and suddenly she couldn’t get back to her quarters quickly enough.

She had only just stepped out into the corridor when Charlie called out for her, “Wait up, Ava! I’ll bring you back to your quarters.”

Ava frowned; she was starting to get annoyed at how people seemed determined to escort her everywhere. She wasn’t some helpless damsel in distress, some child that needed to be minded. 

“I can find my own way back,” she told Charlie once they had caught up to her.

“It’s not that,” Charlie waved their hand dismissively, “I know that you can find your way around the ship. I just wanted to chat with you for a bit – see how you’re doing.” They took a step closer to Ava and lowered their voice, “You and Sara seem to have had a misunderstanding.”

“No. There wasn’t any misunderstanding,” Ava replied briskly and turned to walk towards her quarters, Charlie following closely behind. “Sara has made her feelings quite clear.”

“Sara has her own issues,” Charlie murmured, “It’s not my place to tell, but you should talk to her before you assume the worst.”

“She’s a little too busy to talk to me right now,” Ava pressed out.

“Oh…” Charlie suddenly sounded delighted, and when Ava turned to look at them, a broad grin had taken over their features. “She’s not all that busy; the boss hasn’t been doing business with John-o for quite a while now,” Charlie said, their eyes sparkling with amusement, “Sara may have her lapses in judgment, but she’s also quick to come to her senses again – you’d do well to remember that.”

By now, they had arrived at Ava’s quarters, and Ava quickly pressed the door opener, eager to escape the knowing look that Charlie was giving her. She was already halfway through the door when Charlie suddenly reached out their hand as if to stop her.

“Just one more thing, Ava,” they said, sounding almost hesitant, “I know this might sound a little dodgy, but I need to have a look at your necklace.” Charlie’s expression had turned apologetic, but Ava nevertheless felt anger flare up in her chest.

“It has a locket, doesn’t it? And if you open it for just a sec, I could…”

“You’ll do nothing!” Ava cut them off, “The necklace is private. It’s none of your business!” She took a step backwards and jabbed her finger against the rectangle in the door frame, shutting the door in Charlie’s stunned face.

Ava leaned her back against the door and tried to get her rapid breathing under control. Why did everybody always have to have a hidden agenda? Why did they have to lie and pretend to care when all they really gave a damn about was themselves? Ava fumbled for the button on her bracelet. As always, she couldn’t really tell when the barrier was switched off – at least not without a mirror to look into – but she still felt some of the tension drain out of her with the soft vibrations of the bracelet against her wrist. She squeezed her eyes shut and tilted her head back against the door.

“Could you please turn off the lights, Gideon?” she whispered.

“Certainly, Ms. Sharpe.” 

In the empty room, Ava had no trouble finding her way to the bed despite the darkness. She tore at the comforter that she had so carefully tucked under the mattress less than an hour ago and let herself fall into bed. 

“Have a good night,” Gideon supplied as Ava dragged the comforter over her head. Gideon’s voice sounded so quiet and gentle that Ava couldn’t really reconcile it with that eerie blue head she had seen on the bridge, with its uncanny facial expressions and vacant eyes. Still, she was glad that it was Gideon who was watching over her and not one of the others with their smiling faces and empty words.

“Thank you, Gideon.” Ava’s reply came out muffled, her face pressed into the pillow that had grown cold in her absence.

Chapter Text

So that the knights might weather
The ascent to the crest.

“Now,” Sara instructed Ray quietly as the timer on the nav screen reached zero. He pushed forward the jump lever while Sara raised her eyes from the jumpship’s control panel up to the viewer. For a split second, she saw the Waverider hover in the swirling green vortex of the temporal zone. In the very next moment, her ship had disappeared, and Sara felt her body jolt, her stomach twisting with the slight nausea that she still had to deal with during each and every time jump – even after all these years. She glanced down at the nav screen once more to make sure that they were well on their way to 2018 Washington, D.C. before taking a deep breath and turning her head to face the rest of the jumpship’s passengers.

Unsurprisingly, Mick was nursing a beer while he was sprawled out over most of the bench seats running along the left cabin bulkhead. John was seated opposite him, hunched over some weird necronomicon that he had insisted on dragging along. Sara let her eyes linger on the dusty-looking tome for a few moments, taking in the crumbling pages with their indecipherable runes. Her self-restraint didn’t last for long, though, and soon enough her gaze flickered upwards to catch a glimpse of the very last seat in the row. 

The overhead lights had been turned off manually, shrouding the whole aft section of the cabin in semidarkness. The shifting metallic-gray contours of the electromagnetic barrier that surrounded Ava’s body were still clearly visible, though. Ava’s head was leaned against the aft bulkhead and hidden in the shadows, but Sara wouldn’t have been able to decipher her expression anyway. Sara knew it was necessary, but she still hadn’t gotten used to the smooth, featureless plane that concealed Ava’s face and gave away nothing of what she was feeling. Sara’s stomach twinged uncomfortably as she remembered how she had been blindsided by Ava’s raw hurt and bitterness yesterday. Her eyes drifted down to the base of Ava’s neck – as they were wont to do ever since she had found out about the necklace. Sara still couldn’t wrap her head around the idea that Ava’s ex-lover must have given it to her. It seemed inconceivable that anybody would inflict such a terrible curse on someone they loved.

But then again, Sara knew only too well what people were capable of, what kind of cruelties they were willing to commit in the name of love. She herself had broken her sister’s heart for love after all – or at least what she had thought of as love at the time. Even now, love was something that felt hard to grasp for Sara. Nyssa had loved her. She had loved Sara too much to let her go, had loved her so much that she’d rather have forced Sara to remain a killer than set her free. Nyssa hadn’t cared that her love made Sara miserable; she had loved Sara too much to ever care about that. A familiar ache suddenly bloomed in Sara’s chest, but she was just as quick to snuff it back out again – it had almost become second nature to her by now. After Nyssa, Sara hadn’t bothered with love anymore. She didn’t need it. She had her family on the ship and her pick of men and women across the timeline, and that was enough.

Sara was still staring at the barrier that separated Ava from her, at the spot where the cursed necklace had to be resting against Ava’s skin. Love may have brought Sara nothing but pain, but now she had the chance to make sure that Ava didn’t have to suffer for it any longer. Helping Ava hinged on finding out more about the necklace, though – something that Charlie had been unable to do.

Looking back down at the pilot seat, Sara put her hand on Ray’s shoulder, already encased in the Atom suit. “You okay with piloting on your own for a while?” she asked him in a low voice.

“Sure, Sara.” Ray looked up at her with a smile, his warm brown eyes full of understanding.

Sara gave him a small nod. Her stomach was churning with something other than lingering time-travel sickness as she started to make her way towards the aft section of the cabin. Ava’s head remained leaned against the bulkhead when Sara arrived at her seat. For a moment, Sara thought that she might have fallen asleep but then Ava murmured, “What do you want?”

Sara had been afraid of having to face the same hostility as yesterday when she had picked Ava up at her quarters. But Ava just sounded tired now and so listless that Sara almost wished for yesterday’s cold disdain. She briefly thought about sitting down – it felt uncomfortable to tower over Ava like this – but she couldn’t decide whether to take the seat right next to Ava or leave some space in-between them. In the end, she settled for unclenching one hand and placing it on the headrest of the seat next to Ava’s. The move put Sara into an awkward leaning position that did nothing to steady her voice when she mumbled, “I wanted to talk to you…” Sara trailed off; she had no idea how to bring up the necklace. Charlie had told her how Ava had reacted when they had asked to see it, how she had slammed the door in Charlie’s face.

Ava had lifted her head off the bulkhead by now, tilting it so that the smooth plane hiding her face was turned towards Sara. Sara didn’t like looking at it; it was off-putting in its blankness, and not for the first time she wished for just a brief glimpse of Ava’s eyes to know what she might be thinking. Sara could still remember the warm concern in them when Ava had asked about the boy on the boardwalk. But she also hadn’t forgotten how they had glittered with anger over the poems – or how they had clouded over on the bridge when Ava had turned away from the mesmerized Time Bureau agents to look into Sara’s face. Sara could vividly recall each and every emotion she had ever seen flicker across Ava’s eyes, and her chest constricted as she suddenly realized that it didn’t really matter how her questions about the necklace made Ava feel. It didn’t matter if they made her uncomfortable or if asking them felt like heartless prying to Sara. All that really mattered was freeing Ava of the curse.

“There’s something I need to ask you…,” Sara started once more, her voice much steadier than before, but then she felt her body jolt again and realized that she had been too slow to make up her mind.

“We’re here, Cap,” Ray called over from the pilot seat, “Cloaking is on.”

Sara suppressed a sigh. “Thank you, Ray,” she called back.

“There’s no time now, but I really need to talk to you later,” she murmured, only to see that Ava had already let her head fall back to the side again, the eerie mask covering her face turned towards the bulkhead.

Sara tried to swallow down her disappointment. Prying her fingers off the headrest, she made her way back to the front of the cabin. When she passed John, he stopped her with a hand to her forearm. “Any luck?” he whispered after she had leaned close to him. Sara shook her head and when John gently squeezed her arm in response, she gave him a small, grateful smile. From the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Ava and was relieved to see her finally sitting up a little straighter, her head off the bulkhead and turned towards the front of the cabin.

“Let’s be quick about this,” Sara announced as she raised herself back up again. “And quiet,” she added with a pointed look at Mick who only grinned at her in return.

At Sara’s nod, Ray opened the jumpship’s portside door, and Sara was the first down the ramp. The parking garage’s rooftop level was dimly-lit and deserted, with only a few cars parked here and there. They had picked the early evening to arrive – when Green would still be at the office, but the Bureau wouldn’t be fully staffed anymore. Ray had set the jumpship down at the far end of the roof, and Sara suddenly felt uneasy as she eyed the starkly illuminated stair tower at the other end of it. To reach it, they would have to cross the entire length of the roof with nothing for cover but the rapidly approaching nightfall. Sara had no doubt that the malware Zari had programmed for them was working. But even with the parking garage’s video surveillance system stuck on a loop, Sara couldn’t shake the dread that crept up on her at the thought of trekking all the way across the exposed roof.

Still, there was nothing to be done about it now, so Sara motioned for the others to follow her down the ramp. Ava was the last one through the door, and Sara heard her make a surprised little sound when she noticed that the ramp she had set foot on was invisible. Sara watched as Ava gingerly walked down the rest of the ramp and couldn’t help but find it endearing how awed Ava always was by their technology, how curious she appeared to be about everything around her. It made it seem all the more cruel that the curse had kept her from seeing anything of the world but that narrow stretch of river she had been chained to.

Despite Sara’s anxiety, they reached the stair tower without incident. The door to the staircase creaked on its hinges for lack of use and when it fell closed again, they were plunged into pitch-black darkness. Sara would have had no trouble navigating the stairs on her assassin training alone, but for the sake of the others she let Ray and his helmet light take the lead.

When they reached the top-floor landing, Sara cracked open the stairwell door to peer into the brightly-lit corridor. It was empty. Green had made the entire level his executive floor, cramming the agents that had been working here into the already sparse office space on the levels below.

The restroom Gideon had identified as their optimal point of entry into the ventilation system was just around the corner. According to Gideon, Sara and John had a 43% chance of successfully sneaking into Green’s office from there. Sara had initially wanted to use the ventilation system’s roof access hatch, but hearing Gideon’s odds had made her realize that it had been a little too optimistic of her to expect a group of five – and one that included Mick, no less – to sneak all the way down from the roof and remain undetected. It made much more sense to try their luck from the nearby restroom.

When Sara had outlined the plan this morning, Mick had been very vocal in his protests, and even Ray had grumbled about not getting to crawl through the vents. Sara would have loved to indulge their action hero aspirations, but she needed them and Ava as backup for when things invariably went sideways. A 43% success rate was spectacular by Legends standards, but Sara was under no illusions that their plan wouldn’t go off the rails at some point. 

Ava in particular would be invaluable then. Sara hoped that they wouldn’t have to rely on her powers – not after she had seen Ava’s haunted expression on the bridge – but it might be their only option if they really had to face a mob of mesmerized Time Bureau agents. 

Sara shook her head a little – as if that might help to knock loose the image that was still stuck in there. But the memory of Ava’s wide eyes and pinched lips stayed with Sara, even as she signaled for the others to wait in the staircase and noiselessly slipped through the door. It was a look she was very familiar with after all; she had seen it reflected often enough in her whiskey bottle while she sat alone in her office at night. 

The stairs were situated at the very end of the corridor Sara found herself in. Everything was quiet, the corridor still empty, but when Sara looked towards the other end of it, she was suddenly filled with the same sense of foreboding she had felt on the roof. Despite the late hour and the fact that the whole floor was essentially Green’s private domain, there was something unnatural about the stillness surrounding her. 

Sara didn’t have much of a choice but to push onwards, though. Careful not to make a sound, she snuck along the corridor, passing a few closed doors on her left and right. Ahead of her, the corridor branched off to either side before ending at a meeting room. Through its floor-to-ceiling glass panels, Sara could see an opulent conference table that made her curl her lips – she remembered it from the torturously long HR training courses Rip had subjected the Legends to when he was still director.

The restroom they were looking for was just a few steps into the corridor on the left, but before Sara could turn the corner, she saw something in the conference room’s glass paneling – a small movement that stopped her dead in her tracks. 

Sara pressed her back against the wall and stared at a patch of glass that was turned reflective by the dark mahogany of the conference table in the background. At first, she couldn’t make out a thing, but then another movement flickered across the glass, followed by a quiet cough coming from the corridor to her left. 

Sara tipped her head back against the wall. She heaved a soundless sigh and squeezed her eyes shut – just for a moment – before she pushed herself off the wall again to creep back towards the staircase.

“We’ve got a problem,” she announced after slipping through the door to join the others.

“Of course we do,” John chuckled wryly, “And in record time too.”

“They’re waiting for us,” Sara continued, “I don’t know how many, but they’re lurking right where we need to go.”

“Plan B it is then,” Ray declared, and Sara could see the excited smile he was wearing even through his visor. “I’ll scout things out, and then we can decide what to do,” he added almost cheerfully. He produced a small tablet computer from somewhere in his Atom suit and pressed it into Sara’s hands. “So you can see the feed from my helmet camera.” He nodded his head once more in what almost felt like a little salute to Sara, and in the next second he had already shrunken down.

Ava let out a shocked gasp, but Sara was quick to reassure her, “He’s still here – just much smaller.” Sara activated the tablet, the screen flickering on to show her own face in extreme close-up. “See?” She motioned for Ava to step closer and get a better look – but Ava remained standing right where she was. 

Sara forced her eyes back down to the tablet. The screen was still showing her own face, and she made a vain effort to relax her furrowed brow and pinched lips. What did it matter if Ava was ignoring her? Sara had a mission to focus on, a mission that would keep her team safe – that was all that mattered. Loosening the tight grip her fingers suddenly had on the tablet, she cracked open the door. Onscreen, Ray flew off into the corridor, following the same path Sara had taken earlier. Sara risked another glance from the corner of her eye, but instead of Ava she saw John put a cigarette between his lips. Sara flicked it away with a satisfying little snap, and when he huffed in annoyance, she only narrowed her eyes and mouthed smoke detectors at him. Looking back down at the tablet, she saw that Ray was already turning the corner by the conference room.

“Those time pigs got wise to hotcakes’s tricks!” Mick growled at the sight of the all-female group of agents that had set up base at the end of the corridor adjoining the restroom.

“There’s too many of them to fight our way through,” Sara murmured, “I’m sure Green has units all over this floor – and on the others too.”

Onscreen, Ray hovered in mid-air for a moment before turning back around again. Sara lowered the tablet when she saw him start to explore the locked rooms he had already passed.

“Ava’s powers are useless here,” she muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose. She really should have expected this turn of events. Green was a lot of things, but he wasn’t an idiot. He was also a man, though, and from what she had seen, none of those were immune to Ava’s looks – at least that’s what Sara hoped.

“Change of plans,” she announced and tapped her comms. “Anything useful behind those doors, Ray?”

“It’s mostly offices, and from what I can see, there’s a pretty sophisticated locking system in place, so tampering with the doors isn’t an option,” came Ray’s tinny voice, “But there’s a supply closet just across the hall from you guys.”

Sara pursed her lips for a moment. “Open up that supply closet, Ray, and then try to find an alternative route to Green’s office for Ava and me,” she replied before addressing the others, “We need a diversion, Mick.”

“My specialty.” Mick grinned broadly as he cocked his heat gun and tapped the trigger to light up a small flame at the muzzle.

“You’re with him, John,” Sara said, “Try to keep the mayhem to a minimum if you can.”

“Lovely,” John muttered under his breath. He grabbed Mick’s arm to draw the flame still flickering from Mick’s heat gun close to his own face and lit up the cigarette that was again dangling from his lips. “What?” he huffed when Sara rolled her eyes at him. “I’m not going to worry about smoke detectors with him around,” he said petulantly and poked Mick in the shoulder. “Come on then, big man.”

They all made their way out into the corridor, with Sara and Ava heading straight for the supply closet. When Sara pushed the door shut behind them, she only just caught the yell Mick let out as he charged around the corner, John hot on his heels.

Sara pressed her hands against the smooth plywood of the door for a moment before she turned around to take in their cramped surroundings. The walls of the small closet were lined with shelves holding all kinds of cleaning supplies. A sizable janitor cart took up about half of the available space, and Ava had somehow managed to squeeze herself into the narrow gap between the cart and the wall shelving.

Sara clenched her jaw at the obvious attempt to put as much distance between them as possible. She quickly averted her eyes and ended up staring at some fixtures holding various brooms and scrubbers until she finally remembered the tablet in her hands. Ray’s progress through the corridors was slow, though, and not nearly interesting enough to hold her attention. 

The racket from outside the door had subsided by now and everything was quiet and still in their confined little space, the only movement the subtle shifting of the electromagnetic barrier surrounding Ava’s body. Sara shouldn’t have minded the silence. Back in the League, she had spent days on end not talking to anybody, but now it suddenly felt oppressive to her, so much so that she finally cleared her throat.

“About what I said earlier…” Sara started, “Maybe we could talk now?” She looked up at Ava expectantly, but Ava didn’t acknowledge her. Still wedged awkwardly between the cart and the wall shelving, she didn’t make a sound or move a muscle. She couldn’t even be bothered to turn her head, and Sara had finally had enough. “Are you even listening to me?” she snapped.

“Of course,” Ava murmured, sounding just as indifferent as on the jumpship.

“Well it’s not like I can tell,” Sara muttered, “Can’t you turn that thing off for a minute, now that the others are gone? I’d really like to see your face while we’re talking.”

Sara didn’t really know what kind of response she had been expecting, but it certainly wasn’t the scornful snort Ava let out. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Sara asked, no longer bothering to hide the annoyance in her voice. 

“It means why should I?” Ava murmured under her breath and then added more loudly, “It’s not like you care one way or the other.”

“What are you even talking about?” Sara asked, her irritation only growing when Ava moved to cross her arms over her chest, but still didn’t see fit to look at her.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’ve been ignoring me,” Ava muttered, and Sara felt her eyes widen in stunned disbelief. “Ever since that fight on the bridge, you can’t even bear to look at me!” Ava went on, her voice growing louder with each word, “You said that you don’t blame me, but you do! Just like everybody else.”

“That’s not true,” Sara sputtered.

Ava gave a short mirthless laugh. “Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel any better. But I hate being lied to!”

“I am not lying!” Sara said, her voice turning hard. She didn’t lie, not anymore; and she also had no problem admitting to her screw-ups, not since learning the hard way what covering them up could lead to. But right now, she was in the right. “If anything, it’s the other way around! You keep brushing me off when all I’ve been trying to do is help you!”

“Trying to help me? Please!” Ava scoffed loudly. “I am nothing to you but my powers, and now even those are useless to you,” she said, her voice cracking, “So stop pretending! Just stop pretending that you care!”

But Sara couldn’t stop. She couldn’t stop herself from caring. No matter how much it endangered her crew, or how unfair Ava was being, Sara couldn’t stop herself from wanting to help her – even though nobody had ever cared enough to do the same for Sara. Nobody had bothered to help her back on the Gambit or the Amazo, and in the League, Nyssa’s help hadn’t come for free. Sara tried to force back the dull ache expanding in her chest, reminding herself that it didn’t matter what others had or hadn’t done. She was very good at looking after herself and her crew after all, and she would have found a way to help Ava too – but Ava didn’t want that. Ava didn’t want anything to do with her, Sara realized with sudden clarity, her chest feeling hot and tight now. Ava couldn’t even see what Sara was trying to do for her, she couldn’t even…

“Cap!” Sara blinked. It was Ray’s excited voice that was suddenly in her ear. “I’ve found a way to Green’s office!”

Reflexively, Sara's eyes dropped down to the tablet she was still holding in her hands. The screen was showing her own profile, and it took Sara a moment to realize what was happening: Ray was here, with them in the supply closet, and there was still a plan, a mission they had to complete.

“Good job, Ray,” Sara heard herself say, and she was surprised at how even her voice sounded. “Lead the way. We better get a move on,” she added and then pulled open the supply closet door without another look at Ava.

Chapter Text

The mount is steep and dire,
So sheer and long the drop

Ava kept her eyes fixed on the bottles that were stashed atop the cart she had wedged herself behind. She concentrated on trying to decipher their colorful labels until she heard the door open and Sara was finally gone from the room. Ava squeezed her eyes shut. She grasped the cart handle with both hands and leaned forward, but she just couldn’t get her ragged breathing under control.

She had thought that she would feel better after this. For almost two days, Sara’s behavior had been all Ava had been able to think about. She had thought that it would be a relief to confront Sara about it, that she’d be able to move on after finally talking to her. 

But Sara wouldn’t even admit to ignoring her. She wasn’t done pretending yet. At first, Ava hadn’t been able to understand why. Why would Sara bother to lie about something that was so blatantly obvious? But then it had finally dawned on Ava: she was still useful to Sara. Ava’s curse might not do them much good against the female agents, but Sara obviously still believed that it would work on Green himself. And so she continued to pretend that she cared for Ava; she kept on feigning concern and sympathy for her – until the moment that Ava had served her purpose. Ava’s chest constricted at the thought of what would happen to her then; what they would do with her when she finally wasn’t useful anymore. Maybe Sara would at least have the decency then to admit what Ava had known all along: she was just a means to an end to Sara; just as always, Ava was just a stepping stone to what somebody really wanted. 

Ava only noticed how tightly she had been gripping the cart handle when her fingers started to cramp up. Her hands grew warm and prickled as she let go. It stung, like pins and needles, but Ava did her best to focus on the sensation rather than wasting any more time thinking about Sara. She took a steadying breath before she finally squeezed herself out from behind the cart and followed Sara through the door. 

Out in the corridor, Ava almost ran into Ray. He quickly reached out a hand to keep her steady. “I figured I’d be more help to you at this size,” he explained, smiling warmly as he let go of Ava’s arm again.

Sara was already a few paces ahead. “Good thing you found us another way to Green’s office so quickly,” she muttered without turning around to them.

“Oh, it really wasn’t all that hard,” Ray chuckled, “Mick and Constantine make for quite a distraction; they’re keeping everybody busy.”

“I’m sure they are,” Sara murmured. Her voice sounded different now – as if she was smiling – and Ava felt her own mouth twist into a grimace. Of course Sara would smile at Constantine’s exploits. They had been all over each other ever since their little heart-to-heart on the bridge yesterday. Ava’s scowl deepened when she thought of the spectacle they had made of themselves: the lingering looks and private jokes, their blatant flirting in the staircase, the way they had stuck their heads together on the flight here, chuckling and whispering about Ava. Now that they had run into trouble, Ava was good enough to sort out the mess, but it was Constantine who Sara had really wanted by her side. She had designed her whole mission plan around him, a plan that she had never even cared to explain to Ava.

“Maybe it’s for the best that nobody gets to john macclane through the vents.” Ray’s strange non-sequitur drew Ava’s attention back to her surroundings. Without her noticing, Sara had fallen into step by Ava’s side. “It would only have made Nate sad,” Ray continued, and Sara hummed absentmindedly, all of her attention seemingly focused on the way ahead.

Despite herself, Ava’s eyes were drawn to the way Sara held herself. Unlike Ray, who was clunking alongside Ava in his bulky suit, Sara’s movements were light and graceful. Ava felt herself flush as she took in Sara’s outfit – just as earlier today when she had first seen Sara in it. It was skintight, made out of sleek white leather, and the low-cut front left a large expanse of skin exposed. As Ava’s gaze got caught on a delicate collarbone, she thought again what a baffling choice the suit was for combat – just like Sara’s decision to leave her hair down. Ava imagined that it would only get in the way in the heat of battle. Even now, it was no longer just flowing down Sara’s back, but some strands had fallen forward over her shoulders. Ava’s eyes lingered on the way the soft wisps of hair were framing Sara’s face. Up this close, she couldn't help but notice the freckles that dappled Sara’s cheeks. They made for a pretty contrast with the bright blue of her eyes – eyes that suddenly veered off the corridor in front of them and flickered in Ava’s direction. Ava drew in a sharp breath as she felt her stomach drop.

“It’s just around the corner.” At Ray’s quiet murmur, Ava quickly turned her head away from Sara. She took another step forward – eager to reach their destination and finally get all of this over with – only to run into Sara’s outstretched arm. Sara nudged her backwards a little, and then she lowered her arm and startled Ava even more by wrapping her fingers around Ava’s wrist. Sara’s touch was gentle, almost hesitant, but Ava felt it even through the electromagnetic barrier.

“Better check one more time, Ray,” Sara whispered and tilted her head towards the bend in the corridor. She was still holding onto Ava’s wrist – even though Ava hadn’t moved a muscle since Sara had first touched her.

Ray gave a small nod, and then – from one second to the next – he disappeared again. By now, Ava should probably be used to the strange things that always seemed to happen around Sara and her crew, but just as earlier, she couldn’t suppress a surprised gasp. Sara’s grip around her wrist tightened, and Ava suddenly found herself pushed against the wall. Sara stepped forward, her body leaning into Ava’s, and Ava only just managed to hold in another gasp at the sudden nearness of her.

“Shhh,” Sara whispered urgently, and Ava’s eyes dropped down to Sara’s mouth, to the finger Sara was holding against it. Sara’s lips were pursed, and for a moment Ava couldn’t focus on anything but the indent Sara’s fingertip was pressing into them. Ava’s own lips parted, and she remembered to breathe again, but it was difficult against the sudden tightness in her chest. Sara lowered her finger, but Ava’s eyes remained glued to her lips, the pressure and warmth in her chest only growing and expanding – until Ava was suddenly staring at the line of Sara’s jaw. Sara had turned her head to the side, and it took Ava a long moment to realize why. 

“The coast is still clear,” Ray whispered as Sara stepped away from Ava and turned around fully to face him. Ava leaned her head against the wall and drew in a shuddering breath. With Sara’s back to her, she could finally form a coherent thought again: Sara was beautiful, but that was all there was to her. She didn’t care about Ava, not really. Like everybody else, she only cared about what Ava could do for her, and she didn’t even have the decency to admit it. These were the facts, the only things that mattered, and Ava kept reminding herself of them as Ray led the way around the corner. 

In this part of the corridor, there was only a single door. Ray placed one of his hands beneath the door handle, and Ava could hear his glove emit a low whirring sound. A soft click followed, and Ray stepped aside to let them pass. Ava was puzzled for a moment, but then he murmured, “I’d better stay outside. You’ll have to turn off the barrier for this to work after all.” 

Sara nodded grimly. “See if the others need any help,” she said before she pressed down the door handle and ushered Ava inside.

The room they walked into didn’t look like an office at all. There was a desk at the back, but it was overflowing with trinkets and half-hidden behind the plethora of strange objects that had been crammed into the room. Gaudy light fixtures decorated the walls and bathed everything in different hues of garish neon light. In a corner, Ava saw what had to be the game table Charlie had wanted for themselves. She took in the rest of the room, her eyes flickering over several snack food machines she recognized from the Santa Cruz boardwalk until they finally settled on a life-sized stand-up display of a dark-haired man wearing glasses and a goofy grin.

“There’s nobody here,” Ava murmured – the first thing she had said to Sara since their fight in the supply closet. 

“Gary Green is all the man we need,” Sara replied, and before Ava could even ask her what she meant, Sara had already grabbed her wrist. It was the one with the bracelet, and Sara yanked at it so forcefully that Ava stumbled towards her. Ava’s other arm flailed in the air for a second before Sara seized it too. Sara took a quick step forwards, putting her whole body into the movement, and gave Ava a hard shove. Ava gasped as her back hit the wall, the impact knocking the wind out of her despite the electromagnetic barrier.

“Sara!” Ava sputtered, still wheezing for air as Sara pushed her chest into her own. But Sara didn’t acknowledge her. She only leaned closer to Ava, much closer even than she had in the corridor. She still had both of Ava’s wrists in an iron grip, and Ava cried out when Sara suddenly gave them a sharp tug upwards and slammed them against the wall on either side of Ava’s head. 

“What are you doing?” Ava choked out. She tipped her head down and saw that Sara was finally looking at her now. She was looking straight at Ava’s face, but the usually vibrant blue of her eyes was dull and empty. Ava took in the rest of her face – the blank, slack features, the slightly parted lips – and felt her blood run cold. She knew that expression, she had seen it before – on the faces of countless men.

“Let me go, Sara!” Ava was pleading now. She didn’t care anymore how desperate her voice sounded. She tried to twist her wrists, tried to slip them out of Sara’s hold, but Sara’s grip was unyielding. Her fingers kept digging into the barrier, pressing painful indentations into Ava’s skin. Ava stretched out her fingers, fruitlessly reaching for the bracelet, for the button on the side of it. “Please, Sara, you don’t have to do this,” Ava tried again. She desperately searched Sara’s face for a hint of awareness, but Sara’s eyes remained vacant and unblinking. There was no sign that she was even hearing Ava at all. Ava was loath to hurt her, but she finally started stomping on Sara’s feet, kicking at her shins to throw her off. Sara only took another step closer, though. She kept pushing forward until the whole front of her body was flush against Ava’s. 

“This isn’t you, Sara! Please just…” A movement behind Sara caught Ava’s eye, and she stopped struggling just as abruptly as she had started it. Sara’s grip tightened even more around her suddenly limp wrists, but Ava couldn’t do anything but stare. There was a man leaning against the desk, a man that looked exactly like the one on the stand-up display.

“Ms. Sharpe,” he said with a broad grin that didn’t bear any resemblance to the goofy smile his cardboard doppelganger was wearing.

Ava tried to swallow down the dread that suddenly crawled up her throat. “Director Green,” she replied with false bravado. Her eyes dropped down to his unbuttoned shirt and widened when she caught sight of the three nipples on his chest.

The man’s grin grew sly – as if he had seen Ava’s reaction even through the electromagnetic barrier. “Oh, but I’m not,” he said mock-regretfully, “In fact, I’m nothing like him.” He carelessly shoved some of the knickknacks off the desk and sat down on the corner of it. “Admittedly, it’s an easy mistake to make – I do cut a somewhat underwhelming figure at the moment.” He gestured dismissively at the stand-up display. “But I’m working on remedying that,” he added with a chuckle that sent a chill down Ava’s spine. Against her will, her eyes drifted down to the man’s chest again.

“Would you like to know how that happened?” he asked conversationally. Ava could think of nothing she cared less about at the moment, but the man didn’t wait for a reply. “Green’s colleagues used him as unicorn bait,” he told her and shook his head in fond amusement. “It cost him a nipple – and a good chunk of his already meager self-esteem. But as you can see, I more than recompensed him for it. It was a rather fortunate turn of events for me after all.” He lowered his voice as if trusting Ava with a secret. “When it comes to priming people for demonic possession, nothing quite does the trick like a little disillusionment in your fellow man.”

The man gave Ava a long, considering look before he hopped off the desk and walked over to the cardboard stand-up. With him standing this close to it, Ava was suddenly struck with how little he actually resembled the man on display. His posture, his eyes, the way he drew up the corners of his mouth when he smiled – it all looked nothing like the cardboard display.

“Poor fellow.” The man pursed his lips. “Never his own man, always under other people’s thumbs.” He shook his head mock-regretfully. “All those people who only ever took advantage of him – it’s really no wonder he didn’t stand a chance against my charms.” He took a small step closer to the stand-up and eyed its face critically. “He certainly wouldn’t have been my first choice, but I couldn’t exactly afford to be picky at the time – all thanks to Ms. Lance here and her band of miscreants,” he added in a tight voice, his smile slipping for the first time. He quickly caught himself, though, and when he continued talking it was in the same jovial tone as before. “Green was convenient, a perfectly serviceable makeshift solution, but lately I’ve been thinking of shaking things up a bit, maybe even getting myself an upgrade.” He gave Ava another smile that didn’t reach his eyes before he walked around the desk to study the large wooden wall shelf behind it. 

Ava tried to make the most of his momentary distraction. “Sara!” she whispered urgently, “You have to let me go!” Sara was still pressed up against Ava, still staring vacantly at her face, and Ava’s chest constricted again at how she didn’t even seem to hear Ava. “You have to come back,” Ava begged, “Please, you can fight this! You can fight him – just like you did before. So just…”

“She can’t hear you,” the man tutted, and Ava’s eyes darted over to him again. He hadn’t bothered to turn around, but was still intently studying the wall shelf. Ava watched as he started to run a single fingertip along the books lining the shelf. “You of all people should know that.” His fingertip continued skimming the book spines for a moment until he hooked it into a slim, light blue booklet and tipped it out of the shelf. “You have impressed me, you know?” he said as he turned around. “You really put me in a bit of a tight spot. I’m kind of old-fashioned – I’ll be the first to admit that – but after that little disaster on Ms. Lance’s ship, I had to rethink my stance on female agents.” He chuckled and pointed at the third nipple on his chest. “Thankfully recruitment was easy enough.” He casually leaned his back against the shelf and made a show of opening up the book, of finding just the right page. When he finally began to read, Ava’s mouth dropped open in surprise. 

“Die schönste Jungfrau sitzet
Dort oben wunderbar,
Ihr goldnes Geschmeide blitzet,
Sie kämmt ihr goldenes Haar.”

The man’s German was colored with a slight regional accent. It made him sound just like the people back home – just like Ava – and he knew it too. Ava could tell from the gleeful smile he gave her when he looked back up from the book. 

“But that doesn’t really do you justice, does it?” he said as he snapped the book shut with a flourish, “No, if this were true, my men could have easily withstood your allure.” He carelessly tossed the book aside and pushed himself off the shelf. “But they couldn’t; you had them all wrapped around your little finger,” he continued as he walked closer to Ava. “That’s such a useful talent to have, you know? My powers may be enough to dazzle the likes of Ms. Lance here,” he said dismissively, “But they’re no match against yours.” 

He came to stand next to Sara, and up close Ava could finally see what had been so disconcerting about his smile all along. It looked brittle, as if it could barely contain what really lay underneath.

“It’s a shame, though,” he said, and all at once Ava could also hear the ill-concealed contempt in his voice. “It’s shameful how you’re squandering your gift! All that power, and what do you do with it?” He curled his lips at Ava. “Wallow in self-pity.” His gaze settled on the base of Ava’s neck, and she was suddenly sure that he could see the necklace even through the barrier. 

“Just think of what you could have accomplished if you had only put your mind to it, if you had only accepted your gift and the power it grants you.” He looked back up, his eyes boring into Ava’s. “I think it’s time you gave up your gift to somebody more appreciative… to somebody more deserving,” he murmured and gave Ava a slow once-over that made her skin crawl. “You’ll make a much better vessel than Green ever did – so much more imposing and effective. When your powers are finally properly harnessed and combined with mine, you’ll be all but invincible.” He gave a quiet chuckle. “Or rather I will be.”

Ava wasn’t really surprised at his revelation. She wasn’t as naive as she used to be; she had become good at spotting them, the people that wanted to use her. It was only Sara who had managed to fool her – who was still fooling her even now, maybe. Ava looked at Sara’s face again, at her freckles and the hint of dimples on her cheeks, at the softness of her lips and the sharp cut of her jaw – at anything but the emptiness in her beautiful eyes. 

“As for Ms. Lance here…” the man began, and Ava’s stomach lurched at the venom dripping from his voice when he said Sara’s name.

“Leave her out of this!” she cut him off, “It’s me you want… me and my curse. She doesn't have anything to do with this!”

The man cocked his head at Ava, his eyes suddenly twinkling with amusement. “You know,” he said, feigning a thoughtful expression, “She has never gone against my wishes before – not once. I wonder why she did so this time.”

He took a step closer to Sara and put his hand on her shoulder, his fingers digging into the white leather and squeezing until his grip looked painfully tight. “Don’t hurt her!” Ava snarled as she started struggling against Sara’s hold again.

“Hurt her?” The man let out a short laugh. He gave Sara’s shoulder another brutal squeeze while Ava desperately tried to wrench her hands free to stop him.

“Ms. Lance is sturdy. This is nothing to her; she has been through far worse.” He dug his fingers into Sara’s shoulder once more and tilted his head at her impassive face. “Look at her! I’m not hurting her. I would never do that – not when she’s so very useful; not when she’s so good at taking orders, at dedicating herself to a greater cause; not when she doesn’t blink an eye at even the vilest of assignments.”

Ava had gone limp in Sara’s hold again, and some of her confusion must have shown on her face, because the man raised his eyebrows at her, his smile growing even more gleeful. “Oh? You mean she hasn’t even told you?” He loosened his grip on Sara’s shoulder and brushed some imaginary lint off of it. “I suppose she would be humble like that,” he murmured, “Or maybe…” He looked Ava in the eye again, his smirk downright cruel now. “Maybe I’ve just misjudged how important you are to her. I thought she’d trust you, that she’d share her youthful indiscretions with you. Who better to turn to for comfort after all? Shared sorrow and all that.” He twisted his face into a grotesque imitation of compassion. “But if she didn’t… maybe she just doesn’t care enough for you, maybe she doesn’t want you for comfort; maybe she just wants you for your curse – just like all the others; maybe…” 

The man kept on talking, but Ava didn’t hear his vicious accusations anymore; she no longer saw his cruel smirk or his dead eyes. Ava only saw Sara as she had been in the lab that one night. Sara’s rueful smile, her vibrant eyes shining with compassion – that was all that Ava could see. “It’s not your fault this happened to you. You did nothing wrong, nothing any other young girl wouldn’t have done, too.” Something heavy and solid settled in Ava’s chest when she remembered the haunted expression on Sara’s face, when she realized what Sara had really been trying to tell her that night.

“…but first, how to avoid falling victim to that pesky charm of yours?” Ava heard the man say as she slowly came back to herself. He was tilting his head to the side and tapping a finger against his chin. “Guess I’ll let you experience first-hand just how ruthless Ms. Lance can be.” He patted Sara’s shoulder. “And after she has put you out of commission, we’ll take care of the rest of your little raiding party and figure out how to go about my upgrade. Maybe that wizard friend of hers has a bright idea to contribute.”

He squeezed Sara’s shoulder once more. “If you would, Ms. Lance? No permanent damage,” he warned her, “I still have plans for her after all. But do make sure that she feels it – I really don’t appreciate her taking out an entire mission contingent.”

“Yes, Director Green,” Sara replied in a flat monotone, her mouth settling into a hard line. 

Ava’s back arched off the wall as she desperately tried to lean forward against Sara’s iron grip, against the relentless press of her body. She stared into Sara’s eyes, ignoring the man hovering just behind Sara’s shoulder. “Please don’t do this,” Ava begged, her voice soft and low, her words meant only for Sara. “Don’t let him use you like this!” 

Sara’s face remained impassive, but Ava couldn’t help remembering how it had looked in the supply closet – the stunned outrage, the hurt disbelief written all over it. Now more than ever, Ava wished for the barrier to be gone, wished that she could look Sara in the eye for what she was about to say next. 

“I’m sorry, Sara… so sorry that I didn’t believe you!” Ava swallowed thickly and tried to force back the tears that were suddenly stinging her eyes. “I know I was wrong. I know you just wanted to help me.” Something flashed across Sara’s eyes, a spark of recognition maybe, but it disappeared again just as quickly as it had surfaced. 

“I know you’re hurting too,” Ava whispered, her chest still weighed down with the memory of that night in the lab, with the terrible things the man had just said about Sara’s past. “And I’m so sorry for what happened to you!” Ava choked out against the tears suddenly running down her cheeks.

Sara’s blank expression faltered for a moment as a small crease appeared between her eyebrows. Her eyes cleared up, some of the vibrant blue shining through again, and Ava was suddenly sure that she had done it, that she had finally gotten through to Sara. “Come back,” Ava murmured as she felt Sara’s grip around her wrists loosen ever so slightly, as she felt Sara lean back a little. With their bodies no longer flush against each other, Ava could finally breathe easier again – until she realized that Sara was only gathering momentum for a headbutt.

Ava stretched out her fingers, her joints twisting painfully until she could only just touch Sara’s wrists where they were once again wrapped tightly around her own. Ava watched her fingertips brush over Sara’s skin, imagining how soft it would be, how it would feel against her own – if only it wasn’t for the barrier. “Please, Sara,” Ava whispered one final time, “Come back to me.” Her fingers were still stroking over the back of Sara’s hands when Ava squeezed her eyes shut to wait for the inevitable.

Chapter Text

But she keeps climbing higher
Until she stands on top.

Sara’s mind was clear. 

The regrets that usually weighed her down, her doubts and insecurities – all of that was gone. Sara was no longer conflicted; she was no longer torn between her duties and the secret hopes and wishes she only let herself think about at night. She was at peace. For once in her life, she had a clear purpose, a singular goal: Director Green’s happiness.

The woman had finally stopped struggling, but Sara still maintained the tight grip she had on her wrists. The woman was weak, but Sara wouldn’t take any chances when it came to Director Green’s safety.

He was speaking now, his voice so soothing in Sara’s ears that she forgot to think about anything else. She was content to just listen to him, to just be in his presence – until the woman suddenly started talking to Sara again. 

There was something about her, a hazy kind of familiarity that nudged at the edges of Sara’s mind without ever coming into focus. She thought for a moment about what the woman was asking of her. It didn’t make any sense. Sara didn’t have anywhere to come back to; there was nothing for her to fight. And even if there was, why would she want to when Gary Green was all the man she needed? She decided to ignore the woman’s nonsensical murmurings, and they were soon drowned out completely by the reassuring sound of Director Green’s voice.

He was squeezing Sara’s shoulder now, and her chest flooded with warmth at his approval. A quiet sense of contentment settled over her. She hardly even noticed when the woman started struggling again. What did the woman matter when Director Green was proud of Sara? What did anything else matter when he had an assignment for Sara, a task he had set aside just for her? 

Director Green was pleased – Sara could hear the smile in his voice – and she would make him even happier: she would be careful with the woman, careful but not gentle.

The woman was talking again, her voice so soft and low that it seemed like her words were meant only for Sara. It made it difficult to ignore her. The woman kept saying that she was sorry; she called Sara by her name, and suddenly there it was again, that eerie feeling of almost knowing the woman.

A small room, a janitor’s cart, the woman not even turning to look at her – Sara blinked at the images that flashed across her mind.

“You’re hurting too,” the woman said. “I’m sorry for what happened to you,” she said, and suddenly Sara remembered: Laurel’s soft smile when she told Sara about her fiancé; Oliver’s smirk as Sara stumbled onto the bed, clumsy from Champagne and the waves crashing against the Gambit; the curl of Ivo’s lips around the terrible instructions he gave her; her target smiling at his daughter, a thin trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth; the hard set of Nyssa’s mouth when she called Sara her Beloved, when she told Sara that she would never let her go.

Sara blinked. That was the past; the past that Director Green had freed her from. Sara didn’t have to worry about it anymore. All that mattered was the here and now, Director Green’s happiness, the task he had entrusted to her.

There was a touch at her hand. The woman was stroking her fingertips over it, and Sara suddenly noticed how clammy her palms felt around the woman’s wrists. “Come back,” the woman said, “Come back to me.” Her voice was quavering now, and all at once Sara knew what the woman had to look like behind the silvery sheen that was surrounding her. Her trembling lips, the downturned corners of her mouth – the woman looked just like Ava. 

Sara squeezed her eyes shut. Something was wrong. Something was tugging at her mind, something almost like a memory: fog swallowing up a half-built carnival ride; murky seawater seeping into Sara’s mouth; the stillness of the ocean closing over her head, weighing her down; and then suddenly, Ava’s face – her trembling lips, the downturned corners of her mouth, her hand soft on Sara’s cheek…

Sara gasped, her eyes opening wide. Air rushed into her lungs, and her vision turned blurry as her eyes started to water and sting. Right in front of her, something was shifting and flickering, the air infused with shimmering hues of silver and gray – the electromagnetic barrier… Ava. Sara’s fingers went limp. She felt Ava’s wrists slip from her grasp, and suddenly the barrier was gone, and Sara could see Ava again. 

Sara flushed when she realized just how close Ava was standing to her. They were all but pressed up against each other. If it weren’t for the barrier, the whole length of their bodies would be touching. Sara blinked as she tried to get her bearings. She must have gotten distracted after coming into Green’s office. She couldn’t remember walking up to Ava; she couldn’t remember standing this close to her. 

Sara tried to take a step back. Her body felt sluggish, as if she had been asleep for too long, but she tried to get her feet to move – until a hand to her chest made her freeze. 

Ava’s palm was soft. Sara could feel it against her skin. It was just as soft as it had been on her cheek that day at the beach. Her skin grew warm where Ava was touching it, but it was nothing against the heat that suddenly flooded Sara’s chest. Sara tried to draw in some air. She tried to focus, tried to concentrate on anything but the press of Ava’s fingertips against her collarbone, the feeling of Ava’s thumb resting over the hollow of her throat. Sara’s pulse pounded in her ears, and then Ava’s face was suddenly impossibly close to her own. Silky strands of hair brushed across Sara’s cheek as Ava leaned in even further. She lightly placed her hand on the back of Sara’s shoulder, and Sara’s breath hitched. With Ava’s other hand still on her chest, it was almost as if they were embracing. 

Ava started to murmur something, but it was difficult to make out the words. All of Sara’s attention was focused on how low Ava’s voice sounded, on how her lips were all but brushing against Sara’s ear as she spoke, on how her hands were still holding Sara close.

“Keep your eyes on me.” Ava’s breath ghosted over the shell of Sara’s ear. “It’s Green.”

It took a few seconds for Ava’s words to sink in, but then Sara understood: Green was here, behind Sara. Ava’s barrier was off, so her powers must have worked on him – just like Sara had hoped. And Ava was only holding Sara close because of Green; she was only whispering in Sara’s ear because she didn’t want him to overhear her voice and go into a frenzy. Sara tamped down on the disappointment that suddenly welled up inside of her. She took a deep breath and tried to catch a glimpse of Green from the corner of her eye, but Ava’s hair was veiling them off from the rest of the room.

“Tell him to cover up his nipple,” Ava murmured into Sara’s ear.

“His what?” Sara's eyes widened.

“Don’t ask,” Ava muttered, her voice a mixture of disbelief and revulsion. “Just tell him to button up his shirt.” 

Sara did as she was asked. There was some rustling behind her back, and when it stopped, the warmth that Sara had been wrapped up in was suddenly gone as well. 

Ava had let herself slump back against the wall. Her head was tipped back, her eyes squeezed shut, and her arms were hanging limply by her sides. The imprint of her palm still lingered on Sara’s chest, though, her skin growing chilly with the sudden loss of contact. Ava’s lips parted around a shuddering breath, and Sara quickly averted her eyes. It felt strange to look at Ava’s face without the barrier – unfamiliar and much too intimate at the same time.

Sara turned around and busied herself with finally taking in the situation. She had been in Green’s office often enough. Green was fond of summoning the Legends whenever he was in the mood for a scathing lecture or some ominous threats. It was still as cluttered as Sara remembered it – in fact it seemed like Green had added a few more pointless gadgets since the last time she had been in here. 

Green himself was standing next to that ridiculous cardboard stand-up that looked nothing like him. Sara froze. She took a step closer to Green and studied his face. His eyes were vacant, his expression blank, but somehow he still managed to look more like the man on display than he had in a very long time. He no longer looked like Director Green; he looked like Gary again, the dorky junior agent who used to torment Sara with incomprehensible report forms and terrible puns.

Sara turned back around to Ava. She had lifted her head off the wall by now and was staring over Sara’s shoulder at Gary. Ava looked exhausted. Her hair was a mess, and the collar of her shirt sat askew – she looked as if she had been in a fight. Sara quickly traced her eyes over Ava’s arms and the rest of her body. There was no sign of injuries, and Sara’s chest grew a little lighter again. When she looked back up, Ava was no longer staring at Gary.

Sara had forgotten just how beautiful Ava’s eyes were – soft blue flecked with gray and hints of green. They were a little red-rimmed at the moment, and Sara’s heart clenched at the wetness still clinging to Ava’s eyelashes. Sara couldn’t remember anything beyond walking into the room. What had happened to Ava to make her cry? 

“Did he hurt you?” Sara asked anxiously. An emotion she couldn’t identify flickered across Ava’s eyes for a moment, but then she shook her head. Sara let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. “Maybe you should turn the barrier back on,” she murmured, “So you can tell me what happened.” Ava nodded, and Sara kept looking into her eyes until the electromagnetic barrier flickered on and hid them from Sara again.

Ava took a deep breath before she began. “We came in here, and he…” she trailed off. Her voice sounded strained, and when she continued, it was wavering a little. “He mesmerized you,” Ava whispered, so quietly that Sara almost didn’t hear her. “He said something about demonic possession, and about you…” Ava paused again, for longer this time. “He said that you had fought him before.”

“Neron…” Sara murmured, her eyes widening in surprise. “He’s the demon we stopped from taking over the Time Bureau and the world,” she explained before muttering, “Guess he succeeded on one count after all.” She shook her head a little. “I have no idea how he…” she continued, only to be interrupted by Mick storming in through the door.

He had his heat gun at the ready and only gave Ava and Sara a passing glance before he stomped straight up to Gary. Mick grabbed Gary by the lapels of his suit jacket, and Sara could hear fabric tearing as he yanked him up and against his own chest until Gary’s feet were dangling a few inches above the floor. “Where is it?” Mick snarled into Gary’s face, “Where’s my diary?”

“Mick!” Sara chided, “Put him down again! He’s in no state to tell you.” She gestured around the cluttered office. “If he has the diary, it’s probably somewhere around here.” 

Mick sneered once more into Gary’s face before he huffed in frustration and dropped him back down to the floor again. Gary wobbled precariously on his feet for a moment but managed to stay upright. Mick was already tearing drawers out of the large wooden desk when John sauntered into the room, a gaggle of bleary-eyed Time Bureau agents right behind him.

“What’s this then?” John asked as he sized up Gary who was still staring ahead vacantly. “Hello there, handsome,” John murmured, suddenly wearing a sly grin.

“Neron again,” Sara explained, “Apparently, he possessed Gary here, and now there’s a…” Sara curled her lips and gestured vaguely at Gary’s chest. “A nipple situation that needs exorcizing.” 

John smirked as he sidled up to the other man. “Well, that’s certainly right up my alley, love.” He wrapped his arm around Gary’s shoulders and dragged him into a loose headlock. “You lot run along now. Me and my mate Gary here have the situation under control.”

Sara rolled her eyes at John. “We’re going back to the Waverider,” she told him as she ushered Ava towards the door. “You two and Ray can take back the jumpship once you’re finished here.”

The corridor was packed with more drowsy-looking Time Bureau agents, but Ray’s Atom suit made him stand out in the crowd. Not wanting to lose her in the throng, Sara grabbed Ava’s hand before she pushed her way over to him.

“Did you ask…” Sara began but trailed off again when she saw the enthusiastic grin on Ray’s face.

“Sure did, Cap,” he said, “They haven’t meddled with the timeline yet. I wanted to check in with you first, but I think we can have the Waverider pick us up without any danger to Zari and Charlie.”

“Good job, Ray.” Sara smiled up at him. “I’ll let them know right away. You try to keep Mick from tearing the place apart. Oh, and get somebody to reactivate our time couriers, okay?” Ray nodded. He turned to ask the closest Time Bureau agent to let him pass and Sara quickly tapped her comms.

“Cap! How’s it going?” Zari’s cheerful greeting made the last bit of tension drain out of Sara’s chest. She let out a small sigh. Everybody was fine.

“We’re good, Z,” Sara said. “Ava put Green out of commission, and John’s exorcizing his nipple as we speak.”

“Oh, bollocks!“ Charlie’s loud grumbling drowned out any reaction Zari might have had to the news. “And here I thought it was my cracking piloting that got them off our tail.”

Sara shook her head fondly. “You can put those piloting skills to good use and pick us up here right away,” she told Charlie, “We’ll meet you in the Bureau’s hangar.”

Sara smiled up at where Ava’s face had to be behind the barrier before she continued to lead her through the throng of Bureau agents. They took the elevator this time, and Sara didn’t stop smiling the entire ride down. At the doors to the hangar, Sara drew in a deep breath. It was always a relief to have her ship back again. Charlie had parked it in their old spot, the one that they had originally stolen the Waverider from, back when the Bureau was still wasting it for training recruits.

“Ms. Sharpe!” 

Ava flinched at the shout echoing through the hangar, and Sara quickly turned around. Gary was running after them, wheezing for air. When he reached them, he doubled over and pushed his hands into his knees as he drew in big, gulping breaths of air. The electromagnetic barrier flickered as Ava shuffled a little closer to Sara, and Sara quickly took a step forward to stand between her and Gary. 

“I wanted to say thank you,” Gary panted as he raised himself up, “Thank you for saving me.” He smiled at Ava. It was the same goofy smile as on the cardboard display, a smile that lit up his dark brown eyes and made him appear much younger than he was.

Ava didn’t reply, so Sara asked, “How did any of this even happen?”

Gary shrugged his shoulders. “I had just lost my nipple,” he murmured, “Everybody thought it was hilarious – except for Neron. He said that he could see my potential… that he could make me whole again.” Gary looked back over his shoulder at the hangar doors. “I guess I’ll be suspended indefinitely for this. There’ll have to be a hearing about what happened, about what Neron made me do…” he trailed off and shook his head. “And he seemed so nice,” he whispered.

“I’ll put in a good word for you,” Sara said.

“Oh, thank you, Captain Lance, but there’s really no need for that.” An excited grin bloomed on Gary’s face. “John has asked me to be his apprentice,” he explained, “I was never a very good agent in the first place. My supervisor always used to say that I needed somebody to keep me out of trouble. Of course he didn’t want the job and neither did anybody else, so… anyways,” he cut himself off and smiled at Ava once more. “Thank you for setting me free,” he murmured before he turned around and walked back towards the hangar doors.

“Cap!” Zari called over. The Waverider’s ramp had been lowered, and she was standing on it, Charlie right next to her. They exchanged a sly glance as Sara tugged Ava towards them and then Charlie pointedly looked at Ava and Sara, at the space between them. Sara let go of Ava’s hand. She hadn’t even realized that she was still holding onto it. There really wasn’t any reason for it anymore after all.

“He seemed different.” Zari tilted her head towards the hangar doors Gary had just disappeared through. 

“Yeah,” Sara said, “Thanks to Ava, he’s back to his old dorky self again.”

Charlie let out an impressed whistle. “Nice one, Ava!” they exclaimed with a grin. Ava kept strangely quiet, though, only nodding here and there while Charlie and Zari congratulated her.

Sara tried to change the topic. “We need to update Collins on the situation and then get him and all the other agents off the ship.”

“Nate’s already sorting that out,” Charlie replied. “And Z and I will make sure that the boys and the jumpship get back alright too.”

“Yeah, we have everything under control, Cap,” Zari chimed in.

“Alright.” Sara smiled gratefully. “I’ll take Ava back to her quarters then.”

Zari solemnly nodded her head. “That sounds like a great idea.”

“Yes, very thoughtful of you, Boss,” Charlie added earnestly before they both broke out into wide grins. Sara glared at them as she guided Ava up the ramp, but they only grinned back more broadly at her. 

The walk to Ava’s quarters was quiet. It was a relief to be back home again, and Sara just let the feeling wash over her – until she suddenly realized that Ava hadn’t said a single word since they had left Gary’s office. Sara was still debating whether to ask Ava about it when Ava suddenly quickened her steps as the door to her quarters came into view.

Ava turned off the barrier as soon as the door had closed behind them. She sat down heavily on the bed and let out a low sigh. Sara lingered by the doorway for a moment – she still hadn’t gotten used to seeing Ava’s face uncovered like this. Ava made another soft sound as she leaned forward and put her face in her hands.

Sara hesitated briefly, but then she said, “I know this day has been a lot.” Ava looked up at her with wide eyes, and Sara had to remind herself that it wasn’t her place to comfort Ava. Sara cleared her throat. “So I’ll leave you to it, and…”

“Could you…,” Ava cut Sara off before taking a deep breath. “Could you maybe stay for a moment?” Ava murmured, her voice so low that Sara had to strain her ears to understand her. “I really don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Yes, of course,” Sara said quickly, “Of course I’ll stay.” She stood around awkwardly for a few seconds, but then Ava gestured at a spot beside her on the bed. Sara gingerly sat down on the comforter. Ava put her hands in her lap, and Sara watched as they started fidgeting, one hand tugging at the fingers of the other until Sara wanted to reach out and grasp them in her own. “Do you want to talk some more about what happened?” she asked instead.

Ava pressed her lips together for a moment. “We went in there and then you…” she trailed off. Up until then, she had been looking over at Sara, but now she suddenly wouldn’t meet Sara’s eyes anymore. 

“What happened?” Sara whispered, the nape of her neck starting to prickle with dread. “What did I do?”

Ava stared down at her hands, her fingers still moving restlessly. “I asked you something, but he had already gotten to you,” she whispered, “You were already gone. You…” She swallowed thickly. “You grabbed my wrists, and you pushed me against the wall, and then he…”

“I’m sorry,” Sara breathed as she felt her throat close up. “So sorry, I’m…” She squeezed her eyes shut. Another person she had hurt, another person who had to suffer because she just couldn’t control herself, because she was death, because all she could give was anguish and pain, because…

“No, Sara!” Ava’s voice was forceful as it cut through Sara’s thoughts. She firmly grasped Sara’s hand in her own. “He wanted you to hurt me, but you didn’t!”

Ava’s hand was soft. Her fingertips were gentle as they pressed into Sara’s palm, and Sara’s skin grew warm, just as warm as her chest had felt under Ava’s palm. 

“But I must have done something,” Sara whispered as she stared down at Ava’s thumb stroking over the back of her hand. “You can’t even look at me, so I must have done something to you…”

“You didn’t do anything to me,” Ava said gently, her thumb still drawing soothing patterns on Sara’s skin. “You didn’t hurt me – even though he told you to. I asked you to come back, and you did.”

“But why are you like this?” Sara raised her eyes up from her hands to stare at Ava’s profile. “Why didn’t you say anything on the way here; why won’t you look at me now?”

“It was just… the way he mesmerized you.” Ava’s thumb stilled as her eyes met Sara’s. “I’ve never seen it happen to anybody…” Ava’s throat bobbed as she swallowed, “to anybody that I care about.”

Sara stared into Ava’s eyes, struck with how warm and soft they were, with how all Sara could see in them was sincerity. “I care about you too,” she murmured, suddenly acutely aware of how her lips moved to form each syllable.

“Yes,” Ava breathed out. She gave an unsteady nod, and Sara could once again see wetness gathering along her eyelashes. “I know that now,” Ava whispered, “And I’m so sorry that I didn’t believe you before.”

“No, I understand.” Sara gave Ava’s fingers a tentative squeeze. “It’s hard to trust people. It’s hard to believe that they care when nobody else has before.” She ducked her head and caught Ava’s eyes. “But I do care.” 

Ava pressed her lips together and nodded again, more firmly this time. 

Sara drew in a deep breath. She was wary of upsetting the fragile understanding they had only just reached, but she wanted to be honest with Ava. “It was me who told Charlie to ask you about the necklace,” Sara admitted. “It’s also what I wanted to talk to you about on the jumpship,” she added quickly when she saw Ava begin to frown. “John says that there may be a loophole in your curse, that it can be broken somehow, but he can only do that if he can look at the necklace.” Ava averted her eyes, her hand going limp in Sara’s grasp. “That’s what holds the curse, isn’t it?” Sara asked gently. Ava’s eyes were fixed on her own lap again, but after a moment she nodded wordlessly. Sara breathed out slowly through her nose. “You can’t show him the necklace, but will you show it to me?” she murmured.

Ava didn’t say anything for a moment. Her eyes were still cast downward and Sara could see her throat move as she swallowed. “Yes,” Ava finally murmured.

Sara breathed a quiet sigh of relief. She squeezed Ava’s hand once more before she reluctantly let go of it. She scooted around to face Ava, her knees brushing against the outside of Ava’s thigh. Sara quickly backed up a little before she lifted up her hands. “May I?” she asked quietly. Ava nodded, but Sara suddenly felt incredibly awkward. Not a minute ago she had been holding Ava’s hand, but it felt entirely different to touch her like this. Ava was staring at her with wide eyes, and Sara felt a flush creeping up the back of her neck. She quickly looked down, to the locket resting at the hollow of Ava’s throat.

Sara hesitated for a moment – once more trying to think of a way to open the locket without touching Ava – but then she lifted up the locket, her fingertips brushing over Ava’s breastbone. Ava’s breath hitched. Sara was sitting close enough to hear it. The skin under her fingers felt soft, even softer than Ava’s hand had felt in her own. Ava’s pulse was jumping at the side of her neck, and Sara’s ears grew warm when she noticed it. 

The locket felt strangely hot to the touch – Ava’s skin must have warmed it up – and Sara had trouble keeping her hands steady as she fiddled with the small clasp at the side of it. When she finally managed to open up the locket, her brow furrowed in confusion. 

She glanced up to find Ava looking at her with bright eyes, the corner of her mouth quirked-up. “Did you expect it to be in English?” Ava asked.

Sara cleared her throat. “No, of course not,” she muttered, willing away the blush that she could feel covering her cheeks by now.

“Will you take a…” Ava hesitated briefly over the next, unfamiliar word, “photo?”

“That would be good, but I can’t take a photo of the necklace without…” Sara gestured awkwardly at Ava’s chest. “Part of you being visible too.” Sara’s blush showed no signs of abating, and she quickly fumbled her phone out of its pocket on her utility belt and busied herself with copying the tiny letters engraved in the locket into her notes app.

Duldsam und sanft soll Liebe sein,
Nur so bricht sich der Bann;
Denn wer nur sucht sein Glück allein,
Ein traurig’ Herz nicht retten kann.

Sara stared at the unfamiliar words she had written down. She only recognized a single one of them – from a silly novelty gift Laurel had brought back from one of the impromptu city trips Oliver used to take her on. Hamburg meine Liebe, the ugly sweater had said – Hamburg my love.

Sara swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. When she glanced up from her phone again, Ava was staring at her with wide eyes. “We’ll find a way to help you,” Sara murmured as she looked back into them, “I promise you that I’ll find a way.”

Chapter Text

My sweetheart has betrayed me,
Has left me all alone.

“I’ve asked Gideon to translate the original German for us,” Nate announced once Sara and John had joined him at the central console on the bridge. “Can you please show us what you came up with, Gideon?”

“Certainly, Dr. Heywood,” Gideon replied as the console screens flickered to life.

Duldsam und sanft soll Liebe sein,
Nur so bricht sich der Bann;
Denn wer nur sucht sein Glück allein,
Ein traurig’ Herz nicht retten kann.

Sara recognized the German verses at first glance. She had looked at them often enough since transcribing them from Ava’s necklace yesterday. Sara grimaced slightly as she remembered how awkward things had gotten when she had left Ava’s quarters. Just a few moments earlier, they had been holding hands, but when it had come to saying goodbye to Ava, Sara had suddenly been at a loss. It had felt strange to take Ava’s hand again, stranger even to give her a hug like Sara would have a member of her team. In the end, Sara had only nodded briskly and mumbled something about both of them needing sleep. She hadn’t even looked Ava in the eye again before shuffling out the door.

It wasn’t like Sara to get flustered like that – not even around someone as beautiful as Ava. In fact, Sara was usually at her most smooth and charming when faced with people she found attractive. With Ava, though, Sara couldn’t help but be painfully aware of every little thing she did or didn’t do around the other woman.

“What do you make of it, love?” John’s question pulled Sara from her thoughts, and the smug grin on his face told her that she had been caught daydreaming. She glared at him before she looked down at the screen in front of her again.

Love must be patient, must be kind
For you to break the chains;
Seek your own good and you shall find
That sorrowful one heart remains.

The content wasn’t anything new to Sara. She had fed the German verses to a translation app as soon as she had left Ava’s quarters. Gideon had been careful to preserve the original poem’s rhyme scheme and meter, though. Her version read differently than the disjointed single lines Sara’s app had spit out – it made Sara feel equal parts uneasy and wistful.

“That rubbish is from the bible,” John muttered, his distaste clear in his voice. “Should have guessed this’d be the work of a sanctimonious bible thumper,” he added under his breath.

Sara raised her eyebrows at him.

“My old man was a fan,” he explained with a grimace.

“Gideon?” Sara asked.

“Mr. Constantine is correct,” Gideon’s disembodied voice replied. “The first line of the poem references a passage from the First Book of Corinthians, chapter 13, verses 4 to 7, to be precise.” The image on the console screens shifted as another text passage was added to the other two.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Sara could only just suppress a scoff. That certainly didn’t sound like any kind of love she had ever experienced. Constantine seemed to share the sentiment, because he chuckled darkly and muttered, “I reckon this bit wasn’t among my dad’s favorites.”

Nate leaned over the console screen closest to him, his forehead creased in concentration. “This in combination with Ava’s powers…” he shook his head. “It’s actually pretty devious. Sure, every man is superficially attracted to her when he sees her, but she can hardly hope to find a love like that,” he tapped his finger on the bible passage, “if she can’t even talk to them.”

“Eh.” John clucked his tongue. “It’s that tired old ‘true love will set you free’ bollocks,” he said, sounding utterly bored now. “Only this time, the fail-safe isn’t locking her up in a tower or behind some thorny scrubs, but that she can’t chat up the prince without him offing himself.” He shrugged carelessly before he added in Sara’s direction, “Guess you were right about this being just like that Disney tosh.”

Sara swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. She wanted nothing more than to free Ava from the curse, but the thought of having to fix her up with her one true love to achieve that didn’t sit right with Sara. It felt presumptuous and disrespectful. Ava wasn’t some helpless damsel in distress, and love wasn’t something to be used like that – as a means to an end.

“I guess whoever cast the curse didn’t take into account that the victim could find love with a woman,” Nate said thoughtfully.

“Well, two women falling in love wouldn’t be very Christian, now would it?” John replied bitterly.

“Huh… whoever did this must have been a real bigot,” Nate mused with a frown, but then his eyes suddenly lit up. “My bet is on an evil bishop!” he drawled, an excited grin spreading across his face.

“Sorry to disappoint, squire, but we already know who cast the curse,” John said before he added with some relish, “Dear Sharpie has rather questionable taste in women it seems – she got that necklace from her ex.”

Nate grimaced. “That’s harsh,” he murmured, “And here I thought I had some ugly break-ups.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he studied the poem once more. “It’s strange, though. Ava’s ex obviously knew that Ava was interested in women. Why would she give Ava a curse that only kept her from talking to men? If she wanted to keep Ava from finding love, shouldn’t she have prevented her from talking to women?”

John cocked his head to the side. “You’re not wrong,” he murmured, suddenly seeming much more invested in the discussion. “Either the ex was a bit of a twit or we’re missing something here.” He squinted his eyes at the screen in front of him. “Magic is fickle. We better make sure we have all the information before we try to break the curse. If we don’t, we may end up making things even worse for Sharpie.” He tapped his finger on the last line of the poem.

That sorrowful one heart remains.

Sara stared down at the words on the screen. Sorrowful, that’s how Ava had to be feeling – all the time. Yesterday had made that perfectly clear: the way Ava wouldn’t even look at Sara when they talked about her mesmerization, the haunted expression in Ava’s eyes when she finally did look up. Sara pressed her fingernails into her palms. She didn’t want to imagine what she’d see in Ava’s eyes if they did screw up; how Ava would feel if instead of breaking the curse, they somehow managed to make things even worse for her.

“…so we’ll just have to go to the source.” 

Sara’s brows furrowed when she realized that John was talking again, that he had maybe never even stopped talking. “What?” she murmured.

“If we want to find out how to go about breaking the curse,” John repeated with exaggerated slowness, “we need to ask the person who cast it.” He gave Sara a broad smirk. “So you better let Sharpie know that she’s in for a blast from the past,” he quipped, not very cleverly.

Sara felt herself blanch. Apart from their brief conversation that night in the lab, Sara and Ava had never talked about Ava’s past. With everything that had happened, there simply hadn’t been time; and when there finally had been an opportunity – yesterday in Ava’s quarters – Sara just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She still remembered how it had felt when Ava didn’t want anything to do with her. Things were better between them now, but Sara had no idea how Ava might react if Sara brought up Ava’s ex, the one person that Ava had put her trust in, only to regret it for the rest of her life. Sara’s stomach churned at the thought of Ava having to face that woman again – and at having to break the news to Ava herself. 

Some of Sara’s anxiety must have shown on her face, because John was suddenly grinning even more widely at her. He made a show of slinging his arm over her shoulder before he drawled, in a terrible imitation of an American accent, “Come on, slugger, you can do it!”

“Slugger?” Sara screwed her face up into a scowl. She elbowed John in the ribs and freed herself none too gently from his embrace. “Really?” 

John’s grin stayed in place, though, even as he held his bruised side. Sara felt her scowl deepen, only for him to start chuckling at her. Nate joined in after a moment, and Sara shook her head at them in disgust. “Meeting’s over,” she muttered and turned off the central console’s screens with an impatient slap to the closest display. “Thank you for your help, Gideon,” she added pointedly before she turned around and marched towards the exit. 

The doors to the bridge hissed shut behind Sara and finally cut off Nate and John’s laughter. Sara kept on walking for a few more steps, though. Only when she was well out of hearing range, did she stop and slump against the corridor bulkhead. She drew in a calming breath before she addressed the ceiling, “Is Ava still asleep?” 

“Yes, Captain,” Gideon replied, “I’m afraid Ms. Sharpe hasn’t woken up yet. Her sleeping position and movement patterns indicate a high level of exhaustion. I would have to apply a more targeted measure to be absolutely certain, though. The Fatigue Assessment Scale comprises only ten items and is thus a very parsimonious method of…”

“Yeah, I don’t need to know all of that,” Sara interrupted her gruffly. “I told you to stop spying on Ava like this!”

“I am no longer monitoring her dreams – just as you asked me to,” Gideon retorted in a somewhat huffy tone. “Everything I have just relayed to you can be deduced from a cursory visual inspection of Ms. Sharpe.” A screen on the corridor bulkhead opposite Sara flickered on just as Gideon asked, “Would you like to take a look for yourself?”

“No, Gideon!” Sara exclaimed, not even trying to hide the exasperation in her voice. She pushed herself off the bulkhead. “I’ll just wait,” she muttered as she marched past the lit-up wall screen without sparing it another glance.

When she reached the galley, Sara’s steps faltered for a second. Zari and Charlie were having one of their late breakfasts – just when all Sara wanted was to be alone with her thoughts. They both looked up at her expectantly, and Sara suppressed a sigh before she walked into the room and over to the food fabricator.

“Did you figure out what the necklace inscription means?” Zari asked around a mouthful of donut.

“Yeah.” Sara kept her eyes on the coffee slowly materializing in her cup. “True love will set her free.” As expected, the clanking of breakfast utensils stopped abruptly. Before Zari and Charlie could start whispering, though, Sara added, “There are still some things that don’t add up about the curse, so for now, there’s really nothing to talk about.” She gave them a pointed look as she grabbed her coffee.

Zari and Charlie stared back at her for a moment before they dutifully dug into their breakfast again. As soon as Sara had sat down opposite them, though, Charlie leaned forward across the table and propped their chin up in their hand. “I still dunno how you even got to see the necklace,” they said before adding with a sideways glance at Zari, “Ava almost bit my head off when I so much as mentioned it.”

Sara decided to ignore the small smirk tugging at Charlie’s lips and simply said, “I just asked her.”

“Ohhh,” Charlie drawled. They raised their eyebrows, the smirk now stretching widely across their face. “Guess it’s all a matter of who’s asking then,” they added in a stage whisper while bumping their shoulder into Zari’s.

Sara averted her eyes to stare into her coffee cup. The dark liquid was swirling around violently, stirred up by how tightly she was suddenly gripping the cup’s handle. “Please don’t,” she murmured.

It was silent for a moment, and then she could hear the soft clink of a piece of cutlery being put down on the table. “Sorry, Boss,” Charlie said quietly, and when Sara looked up at them, she could see genuine remorse on their face.

“Yes, Sara, we were just teasing. We’ll stop if it really bothers you,” Zari added in an uncharacteristically serious tone. 

Sara shook her head a little. “It’s fine,” she said, “Usually, I really don’t mind…” She swallowed against the sudden dryness in her throat. “But right now I do...”

“What’s going on?” Zari asked. Her usually mischievous eyes were full of concern for once, and Sara felt uncomfortable looking into them for too long.

“We’ll have to go and see Ava’s ex,” she murmured into her coffee cup. “To find out more about the curse.”

“Hmm…” Charlie hummed, “Because she’s the one who cursed Ava.” Sara’s eyes snapped up in surprise. “Constantine seemed a bit too interested in that necklace of hers,” Charlie explained with a half-smile.

“And you’re what?” Zari prodded carefully, “Afraid of what’ll happen when Ava meets her ex again?”

“I don’t know!” Sara abruptly let go of her cup and leaned back in her chair, her eyes flickering up towards the ceiling. “Maybe?” Her sudden movements had made some coffee slosh out of her cup, and she began to draw her fingertip through the small puddle forming on the table. 

“Are you afraid that Ava still has feelings for her?” Zari’s voice was still filled with that unfamiliar seriousness, but now it was also resonating with something else. Zari sounded uneasy, and Sara suddenly had to think about the poem again. Surely the person who had cast the curse couldn’t also be the one who was supposed to break it. Somebody who had betrayed Ava’s trust, who had condemned her to a life of loneliness couldn’t possibly be the one she was supposed to be with; they couldn’t possibly be Ava’s true love. 

Sara suddenly felt queasy. “I just don’t want her to get hurt again,” she murmured, swallowing reflexively against the bitter taste in her mouth. “I know how easy it is to fall back in with somebody you shouldn’t,” she admitted, her eyes still fixed on the fleeting patterns her finger was drawing in the coffee puddle. “It’s easy because they’re familiar… because they want you when it feels like nobody else does.” Sara swallowed again. “Because being with them seems easier than being alone.”

The galley grew quiet, and Sara was still staring down at her coffee-stained fingertip when she suddenly felt a hand on her forearm. She glanced up to find Zari looking intently at her. “You’re not alone anymore – you have all of us now,” Zari said, “And Ava has all of us too.” She hesitated briefly before she gave Sara’s arm a quick squeeze. “And she has you.”

Zari’s words hung in the air for a moment, but Sara didn’t have time to think about their implications. “Captain Lance,” Gideon’s voice rang out from the ceiling, “I wanted to inform you that Ms. Sharpe has just woken up.”

Zari cleared her throat and quickly lifted her hand off Sara’s forearm. “You better give Ava a heads-up about the plan, Cap,” she muttered, staring down at the half-eaten donut on her plate. 

Charlie shook their head fondly before they took their eyes off Zari and gave Sara an encouraging smile. Sara tried to return it as best as she could. Then she took a deep breath and pushed back her chair. Inside the doorway, she lingered for a moment, glancing back over her shoulder at Charlie and Zari. “Thank you,” she murmured and stepped out into the corridor.

Ava’s quarters were just around the corner from the galley, and Sara was standing before them sooner than she would have liked. She stared at the door for a moment before she unclenched her fingers and pressed the door chime.

When the door hissed open, Sara was momentarily taken aback by the sight that greeted her. In the course of a single day, she had somehow gotten so used to looking at Ava’s face that it was jarring to see it hidden behind the dull gray sheen of the electromagnetic barrier again.

“Hello, Sara,” Ava murmured. Even filtered through the barrier, her voice sounded pleased. 

Relief began to spread through Sara’s chest until she remembered that by the end of her visit, Ava might no longer be happy to see her. The thought made Sara’s stomach clench uncomfortably. She murmured a quick ‘hi’ before she could lose her nerve and make up some excuse to leave again. “Can I come in?”

Ava nodded and stepped aside to let Sara pass. The door closed behind them, but unlike yesterday, Ava didn’t sit down on the bed. She kept standing next to it, leaving Sara to linger by the doorway. 

“Did you want to talk to me about something?” Ava asked.

“Yeah, but…” Sara gestured awkwardly at Ava’s body. “Would you mind turning this off first?” 

“Of course, sorry.” Ava fumbled with her bracelet for a moment. “I only switched it on as a precaution anyway.”

The barrier flickered off, but it did nothing to calm Sara’s nerves. Ava’s hair was swept to the side and flowing over her shoulder in soft waves. Only a single, unruly strand had fallen into her face. It must have come untucked while Ava was fiddling with her bracelet, and Sara had the sudden urge to reach out and fix it for her. Ava beat her to it, though, ducking her head and brushing the strand back behind her ear. She looked up at Sara through her eyelashes, and Sara was once more struck by how lovely Ava’s eyes were, by how lovely everything about Ava was. Yesterday, Sara had been too worried and distraught to really appreciate it, but now she couldn’t fail to notice that Ava was the most beautiful woman Sara had ever seen.

“What did you want to talk about?” Ava asked before the silence between them could become uncomfortable.

“It’s about the necklace,” Sara blurted out. Just like yesterday, Ava’s expression turned shuttered, but Sara quickly pressed on, “I showed the locket inscription to Nate and John.” An emotion she couldn’t identify flickered across Ava’s face, and Sara suddenly realized that she should have included Ava in their discussion. Sara knew only too well that the last thing Ava needed right now was to feel like she had no say in her fate, like others were deciding it for her. 

“I’m sorry we talked about this without you. You were still asleep, and I didn’t want to wake you, because yesterday really was a lot – I mean you seemed exhausted,” Sara tried to explain herself. “But I promise we won’t exclude you like that again, and we did find out something: the inscription…” She cleared her throat. “It says that true love will break the curse.” Sara snapped her mouth shut after finally having made her point. Throughout her rambling, her eyes had been roaming all over the room, looking anywhere but at Ava. Now they finally settled on Ava’s face again, but there was no trace of the relief or joy Sara had expected to find. Instead, Ava looked stricken.

“That’s a lie,” she whispered. She suddenly seemed unsteady on her feet, and Sara took an involuntary step closer just as Ava turned and sat down heavily on her bed.

For a moment, Sara was frozen, with no idea what to do, but then Ava looked up at her again. Her eyes were wide and gleaming with unshed tears. Sara quickly closed the distance between them to crouch down at Ava’s feet. Ava’s hands were clasped together tightly in her lap, but Sara didn’t hesitate to fold her own fingers over them. She looked up at Ava’s face again. Ava’s lips were pressed into a thin line, her eyes squeezed shut. She seemed completely drawn in on herself, and Sara was still trying to think of something to say – trying to decide whether she should even say anything at all – when suddenly, Ava opened her eyes again.

“I loved her,” she confessed softly. Her voice was wavering, but Sara heard the words loud and clear. The set of Ava’s jaw had relaxed, and her mouth was quirked up at the corners – almost into a smile. Sara glanced down to where her hand was still holding onto both of Ava’s, suddenly fascinated with the freckles on her own skin.

“I loved her,” Ava repeated. She sounded much more confident this time, and Sara tried her best to ignore the sudden hollow feeling in her chest. “I loved her, but it didn’t break the curse – at least not for me.” 

Sara glanced up. Ava’s tone had turned bitter, and it was matched by the expression on her face. “What happened?” Sara asked softly. 

Ava pressed her lips together for a moment, and then the words suddenly came rushing out of her. “She asked for my help, and I said yes because I loved her. I would have said yes to anything she asked, but she only wanted me to have the necklace.” Ava faltered for a moment. “She smiled when I said yes. She was always so sad, but when I said yes, she smiled at me. She told me she’d be back soon…” Ava’s voice cracked. “But that was a lie. She never came back.” Ava was whispering now, talking so quietly that Sara almost didn’t catch her next words. “She kissed me, and then I never saw her again.”

Sara swallowed. Ava was staring at her lap, her eyes wet and unfocused. She looked just as helpless and distraught as the first time Sara had seen her, on that Super 8 film. “I’m sorry,” Sara murmured, “So sorry that she did that to you.” She gently squeezed Ava’s hands. They were clenched together even more tightly than before, fingernails digging into soft skin, and Sara suddenly felt anger bubble up in her chest. “We won’t let her get away with it!” she promised Ava. “We’re going back in time to see her, and we’ll make her tell us how to break the curse, so you can…”

“I don’t want to see her again!” Ava said harshly. She pulled her hands out of Sara’s grasp, and tried to stand up, only settling down again when Sara made no move to make room for her.

“Ava,” Sara said urgently. She ducked her head to catch Ava’s eyes. “I get that – believe me I do. My past relationships…” Sara chuckled mirthlessly. “I mean in hindsight you’d hardly call it true love. I never wanted to see my exes again either, but sometimes it just can’t be helped.”

Ava scoffed and averted her eyes at that, her jaw set in a hard line. Sara kept quiet, and after a few moments Ava glanced back at her again.

“There’s something off about the curse,” Sara explained, “Something about it that doesn’t make sense. So there’s still the chance of a loophole. Even if…” she swallowed, “true love couldn’t break the curse before, there’s still the chance that it might do so now. But the only one who knows anything about that is the person who cursed you, so we really need to talk to her.” Sara took a moment to gather her thoughts. “I can ask John to join me of course,” she said, only to see that unnamed emotion cross Ava’s face again. “But I’d really like to take you,” Sara added quietly, “You know her best after all.”

Ava’s expression seemed to go through several emotions until it finally settled on a mixture of hurt and anxiety. “I’m afraid of what will happen when I see her again,” she admitted softly.

“You won’t have to face her alone,” Sara assured her, “Everybody on this ship will have your back.”

Ava let out a disbelieving huff of air. “They hardly know me.”

“They know enough about you,” Sara replied firmly. “They know that you never meant to harm anybody; they know that you’ll stop to comfort a scared little boy even if it’ll get you captured; and they know that it’s only because of you that Zari and Charlie are finally safe.” Sara made sure that she had Ava’s complete attention before she added earnestly, “They’ll never forget that.” She hesitated for a moment. “And I’ll never forget that either.” She reached out for Ava’s hand, fully expecting her to draw it back again – but Ava didn’t. Unlike before, her hand felt soft and pliant in Sara’s, and for a moment Sara’s eyes got stuck on the contrast her skin tone made against Ava’s. 

“Please let me help you,” Sara whispered, “You won’t be alone because I’ll be there.” She looked up at Ava’s face again. Ava’s eyes were fixed on their clasped hands, but for once it wasn’t them that had Sara captivated. Ava was smiling. The smile was tentative, but it lit up her face, and Sara suddenly understood that what she had seen earlier – that slight uptick of Ava’s lips – hadn’t been a smile at all. Sara suddenly realized that she had never seen Ava smile, that this was the first time she got to see the soft slant of Ava’s mouth and the way her cheeks dimpled. Ava’s smile dimmed a little, turning shy once she noticed Sara’s scrutiny, but her eyes were still crinkling at the corners when they met Sara’s.

“Alright,” she murmured, “I’ll come with you to talk to her.”

Sara breathed a quiet sigh of relief. She squeezed Ava’s hand, her mind already racing to come up with a plan of how to approach Ava’s ex. “What was her name?” Sara asked, almost as an afterthought.

“Her name was Lorelei.”

Chapter Text

In Bacharach upon Rhine,
There lived a witching maid

Ava kept staring into the mirror by the door as she pushed the button on her bracelet yet again. Just like before, her face disappeared from view, but this time around, it wasn’t replaced with the dull gray sheen she had reluctantly grown used to by now. Instead, it was as if Ava wasn’t even there anymore. 

She threw a glance over her shoulder, at the nondescript nightstand by the bed. When she looked back into the mirror again, the nightstand was clearly visible – even though it should have been obscured by Ava’s body standing in the way. Cloaking, Ray had called it when he had installed the new setting in Ava’s bracelet. He had been endearingly enthusiastic about it too, going on and on about how he had always wanted to miniaturize the technology that kept Sara’s ship hidden from view. 

Ava pressed down on the button once more, relieved to finally see her own face again – even though it was marred by a frown. She knew the modification to the bracelet was necessary, that she couldn’t walk around her hometown all silvery and shimmering, but she also couldn’t help the way her stomach roiled whenever she pressed the button and vanished.

The feeling was all too familiar. Her parents, her friends and her, they had all forgotten about Ava as soon as that necklace had been placed around her neck – as if she wasn’t even there anymore. Ava’s scowl deepened as she thought back to the day it had happened, to how naive and gullible she had been, how blind with love for someone who had likely never wasted another thought on Ava. But Ava had never forgotten; she had thought about Lorelei every single day. What Ava had never imagined, though, was that one day, she would have to face her again.

The sound of the door chime pulled Ava out of her thoughts, and in the mirror, she saw her own expression clear up – it could only be one person. Ava quickly reached for the door opener, not even bothering to switch the bracelet back on again. The corners of her lips turned up, her mouth already falling open to greet Sara. But when the door slid open, Ava forgot what she had wanted to say.

She had never seen Sara’s face free of makeup before. Ava had noticed the freckles of course, but she had never known just how many of them there were or how lovely they would look, uncovered, against the bright blue of Sara’s eyes. Sara’s hair was up, in an intricate braid that was as familiar to Ava as the lacing on Sara’s black bodice or the cinching on her blue skirts. The white shift Sara wore underneath left most of her arms exposed, revealing the birthmark that Ava remembered from that day at the beach, and all around it, even more freckles. Ava let her eyes linger on where they disappeared under the sleeve of the shift, imagining that they had to run up all the way along Sara’s arms and shoulders to her neck. The muscles in Sara’s forearm flexed and grew even more defined, and Ava couldn’t help but trace the length of them for a moment – until she saw Sara’s fingers clench into a fist. 

Ava’s eyes snapped back up. There was a strange expression on Sara’s face, and Ava’s stomach lurched uncomfortably when she realized that she hadn’t even said anything yet. “You look different!” she blurted out.

“Yeah.” The corners of Sara’s mouth lifted up slightly. “Unlike some people, I don’t have a fancy cloaking bracelet to help me blend in.” There was a teasing lilt to her voice that made the nape of Ava’s neck grow warm. “Do you think it’s authentic?” Sara asked, her lips now drawn up into a smile that brought out all of her dimples. 

Sara’s eyes were gleaming with something like mirth, and Ava felt the flush at the nape of her neck creep up into her hairline. She ducked her head and reached up to brush some hair out of her face. “Yes,” she murmured softly. 

Sara looked just like the women back home. She looked like one of the neighbors or the women crowding the streets of Bacharach on market day, and Ava suddenly had to think about what it might have been like if she had just run into Sara in the market square or in one of the vineyards outside of town. Ava let the hand that was still fiddling with a strand of her hair fall down to her necklace. Maybe her life would have turned out differently if Sara had been around. 

“Hey.” Sara sounded serious all of a sudden, and when Ava looked up, she saw that a small crease had formed between Sara’s eyebrows. “Are you alright? We can postpone this,” Sara murmured. She took a hesitant step closer. “Or, I can still take John if you don’t want to go through with it after all.”

Ava only just suppressed a scowl at the mention of that man’s name. She shook her head and sat down on the bed, motioning for Sara to do the same. “No, it’s just…” Ava trailed off as Sara settled down next to her. Sara hadn’t thought to pick up her skirts and as they rode up, they exposed the hem of the shift she wore underneath. Ava quickly averted her eyes, only to see that Sara’s bodice had shifted too, baring part of her left shoulder. For a moment, all Ava could think about was that she had been right about the freckles – but then the bodice slipped even further and revealed a large purple bruise blooming on Sara’s skin. 

“What is this?” Ava gasped.

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Sara sounded unconcerned, but Ava was already reaching out for her. She was careful to avoid the bruise itself, but Sara still flinched slightly at the first touch of Ava’s fingers to her shoulder.

“Who did this to you?” Ava breathed as she smoothed back the fabric of Sara’s bodice to get a better look. She gently traced her fingertips around the bruised area. It was already turning black and blue in places. “Did you put ice on this?”

“I didn’t really get the chance.” Sara’s voice sounded a little strained, and Ava stilled her fingers, suddenly worried that she had accidentally put too much pressure on the bruised skin. “How did this happen?” she asked again.

“I don’t really know.” Sara shrugged, and Ava couldn’t help but notice that the muscles shifting beneath her fingertips were just as defined as Sara’s forearms. “After we came back from the Time Bureau, it was just there.” Sara let out a surprised gasp as Ava’s fingers tightened reflexively on her shoulder.

“Green – he grabbed your shoulder,” Ava whispered, her chest constricting as she remembered how Green’s knuckles had turned white with the force of his grip, how vacant Sara’s eyes had looked and how helpless Ava had been to stop any of it.

“Yeah, that makes sense. It’s just a scratch, though.” Sara shook her head, some strands of hair that had gotten loose from her braid brushing along the back of Ava’s hand. “I’ve had much worse.”

Ava blinked at how casual Sara sounded. “Yes…” Ava swallowed. “Green said something like that.”

“He did?” Ava felt the muscles underneath her fingers tense up. “I guess it’s all in my file.” Sara attempted a chuckle, but she couldn’t quite hide the wariness in her voice when she asked, “What exactly did he tell you?”

Ava’s eyes flickered up to Sara’s face. The crease between her eyebrows was back, much deeper this time. Ava quickly looked down at her own hand again, at the small circles her thumb was brushing over Sara’s collarbone. Her skin felt just as soft as Ava remembered it from Green’s office. 

“Just that,” Ava murmured, “He didn’t give me any details.” Sara’s shoulders relaxed again, and Ava let out the breath she had been holding. “I’m sorry he did that to you,” she added quietly. Sara started to shake her head, but Ava quickly pressed on before she could be interrupted, “This never would have happened if it hadn’t been for me.” Ava swallowed thickly. “He wanted me for my curse – he would have left you alone if you hadn’t tried to help me.”

“Ava,” Sara said, her tone so insistent that Ava couldn’t help but look up into her eyes. They were beautiful, bright blue and shining with warmth and kindness. “He would never have left us alone,” Sara murmured, “And even if he had, we would have helped you anyway. I needed to help you because…” Sara’s throat bobbed as she swallowed. “Because it was the right thing to do.”

“The right thing to do…” Ava repeated slowly. She shook her head. “I don’t think there is such a thing.” Her eyes found the ugly bruise on Sara’s shoulder again. “Helping others always comes with a price,” Ava added, the words coming out much more harshly than intended.

“Maybe,” Sara murmured, “But it was worth it.” There was a pause, and Ava was so distracted by how the skin underneath her fingertips suddenly flushed that she almost missed Sara’s next words. “I would do it all over again.” 

Ava glanced back up to Sara’s face. Her cheeks were blushing too. She and Ava had gotten closer while they were talking – almost as close as they had been in Green’s office when they were whispering to one another. The scent of lemon and vanilla came back to Ava, the feeling of soft strands of hair brushing against her face. Up this close, she could make out the individual freckles on Sara’s cheeks and the bridge of her nose, and Ava wondered what they would feel like underneath her fingertips. A movement caught her attention, and suddenly she found herself staring at Sara’s mouth. Sara was worrying her lower lip, her teeth pressing into it and releasing it again and again. Ava couldn’t remember moving, but it felt like Sara was even closer now, like Ava would only have to lean in the slightest bit and they would be…

Ava reared back her head. She quickly got up off the bed and turned towards the door. “We should get going,” she blurted, her voice sounding strangely high-pitched to her own ears.

Some rustling came from the bed as Sara stood up too. She cleared her throat. “Yeah,” she murmured and coughed again, “We should.” 

Ava squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. She clasped her hands together tightly before she turned back around to face Sara. “How will we find her?” Ava asked, relieved when her voice came out more steady again. 

“Gideon used the information you gave her,” Sara explained, “Apparently, the Lorelei is mentioned in the town’s historical trade registries, so Gideon could pinpoint an exact day and time when we should be able to run into her.” Sara hesitated briefly. “Are you sure you’re alright with going back there? After everything that’s happened?”

Ava stopped fiddling with her fingers and looked up, only to falter when she saw how intently Sara was looking at her.  

“It would be completely understandable if you didn’t want to go,” Sara added when Ava didn’t reply.

Sara’s voice had grown soft, and Ava couldn’t help but smile at her obvious concern. “I’ll be fine,” Ava murmured, “I won’t be alone after all.” 

Sara smiled back at her for a moment. “Alright,” she said and tapped the bracelet on her wrist. Just like back on the boardwalk, a shimmering window opened up, right there in Ava’s room.  

Ava made sure to push the button on her own bracelet before she took a small step towards the window and peered through it. The other side was steeped in shadows. All she could make out was a rough-looking wall and the worn cobblestone pavement in front of it. Ava took another step closer. The wall was made out of dark red sandstone bricks and covered in grapevines, and even though she must have known it all along, it was only now that Ava realized just where the window would lead them. She flinched back – only to bump into Sara.

“Careful,” Sara said and held out her hand. “So we don’t lose each other,” she explained. 

Ava hesitated only for a moment before she placed her own hand in Sara’s. Sara closed her fingers – over nothing it seemed, but even through the barrier, her grasp felt firm and reassuring to Ava.

“You should stay cloaked at all times and let me do the talking,” Sara said, “Just give me a sign if something feels off.” She gave Ava’s hand a brief squeeze before she stepped forward, pulling Ava along with her to the other side.

The window flickered shut, and in the very next moment, a door crashed open against the wall next to them, making Ava jump. She scrambled to press herself against the wall. Sara held onto her hand, though, and after a moment Ava realized that there was no need to hide. Sara only looked on with mild interest as a man was flung out the door and landed face-first on the dirty cobblestone pavement.

“Don’t show your face around here again until you’ve sobered up!” a booming voice called out, accompanied by cackling laughter from inside. Ava recognized the voice immediately. She had dealt with the innkeeper often enough when her father had sent her to pick up a bottle or two for him. She herself had never been inside the tavern of course, but she had heard the boys boast about how rowdy things would get after a few rounds of wine.

Ava startled once more when the door slammed shut again, but then she was already being pulled along by Sara who took a few steps out into the alley and nudged the man lying there with her foot. “Out cold,” she announced before she stepped back from the man again to look around herself. “Gideon said something about a market?”

“This way,” Ava murmured and tugged on Sara’s hand. The market square was just around the corner.

The bright rays of the morning sun greeted them when they stepped out of the dingy back alley and onto the square. It was already bustling with activity. Most of the stalls had been set up, and only a few latecomers were still unloading goods from their carts. The market-goers were out in full force as well, countless women and some men haggling with the vendors over bread and meat or the more exotic products that Ava had only ever dreamed of buying when she had been here as a child. Her mother had never even spared them a glance, but Ava would always linger and stare at the intricately painted vases and the spiral patterns in the stems of the wine glasses. She’d run her fingers over the bales of linen, silk and muslin, marveling at how soft and colorful they were, at how all of these things were so much more beautiful than anything Ava knew from home.

Ava shook her head a little to clear the memories from her mind. Sara and her were slowly making their way through the crowds, looking left and right to catch a glimpse of Lorelei, but what Ava saw next stopped her dead in her tracks. 

It was her mother. She was standing right there, just a few paces ahead. Ava felt Sara jostle into her and some of the other market-goers as well, but Ava only had eyes for the woman over by the knife-grinder’s stall. Her blonde hair was streaked with even more gray than Ava remembered from the last time she had seen her – up on the ledge, when she had told Ava all about the miller’s wife. The woman turned away from the stall, and Ava blinked when she saw that it wasn’t her mother at all, but a complete stranger with a penchant for the same blue dresses her mother had always liked. 

A gentle squeeze to her hand brought Ava back to herself. “Let’s get out of here for a moment,” Sara murmured, her thumb brushing over the back of Ava’s hand. Ava looked down at their entwined fingers, where Sara’s thumb seemed to be moving over thin air. “Right now it’s too crowded anyway,” Sara continued softly, “We can wait somewhere else for a while. We can come back later.” 

Ava nodded jerkily. It took her a moment, but then she realized her mistake and got out a mumbled ‘yes’ as well.

Sara took the lead as they weaved their way through the throng of people, and Ava was grateful just to be pulled along. When Oberstraße, Bacharach’s narrow main street, finally came into view, she let out a quiet huff of air. They took a few more steps to get further away from the worst of the turmoil, and then it was Ava who tugged on Sara’s hand to pull her to the side of the street. Ava closed her eyes as she leaned her back against the wall of a bakery. It was the one her mother had always favored.

“It’s beautiful,” Sara murmured after a few moments, and when Ava opened her eyes, she saw that Sara’s face was turned upwards.

Ava followed her line of sight: the sun-dappled hills surrounding the town with the vineyards in full bloom, the bright white column of the guard tower, the deep red ruins of Werner chapel and above it, the dark, imposing outline of castle Stahleck. Ava supposed that it was beautiful, or that it must seem so to Sara at least. After all, despite Ava’s idle imaginings, Sara had never lived here. She hadn’t grown up here and spent all of her youth locked in by these hills, with the constant reminders of the town’s former glory bearing down on her. Beyond the town walls, the Rhine flowed, wide and open, but in here, everything was cast in the shadows of the castle and the chapel and the vineyards, and even Oberstraße felt too cramped and narrow for two carts to pass each other.

Ava looked over to the gleaming white walls of St. Peter and the striking contrast they made to its dark red sandstone base. She thought back to the wide expanse of the ocean, to the colorful stalls and exhilarating rides and to the carefree faces of the people walking along the seemingly endless boardwalk. Before Ava’s melody had shrouded everything in fog, Santa Cruz had been beautiful. This was the kind of beauty that Sara had grown up with, the kind of freedom that she was used to. She had her own crew, she was the captain of her own timeship, and yet she didn’t think twice about risking it all to help a stranger. Ava still had trouble wrapping her head around it. Right now, though, she didn’t get to dwell on it further.

She was here – the miller’s wife – and Ava froze when she realized that this time around, it really was her. Ava’s chest constricted. Her breath got stuck in her throat, but she still must have made a sound, because Sara spun around to face her. She took a quick step closer and squeezed Ava’s hand, the crease between her eyebrows growing more pronounced the longer Ava struggled for words. “That’s her,” Ava finally breathed out, lifting up their clasped hands to point towards St. Peter.

Lorelei was just as beautiful as Ava remembered her. Unlike every other woman they had seen so far, she had left her hair down, the blonde locks flowing freely over her shoulders. Her expression was open, cheerful even as she nodded at the people she passed by on her way to the market square. She was humming a tune, and as she got closer, Ava realized that it was her own melody – or rather, the one Lorelei had taught her all those years ago. Lorelei had almost reached them now, but before she could pass them by, Sara stepped out into the street again, dragging along Ava whose legs still felt like lead.

“We need to talk,” Sara announced, loudly enough to attract not only Lorelei’s attention, but also that of a few passers-by. 

From her position behind Sara, Ava couldn’t see Sara’s face, but there must have been something menacing about it, because Lorelei’s own expression went blank all of a sudden. “I don’t even know you,” she said, her tone much more clipped than Ava had ever heard it. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you, though.” Sara sounded calm, but her fingers had started to tighten and flex around Ava’s hand, squeezing it almost painfully now.

“You’re not from around here,” Lorelei scoffed, and from the way her eyes darted around, Ava could tell that it was mostly for the benefit of the handful of townspeople that had stopped to gape at them. “What could you possibly want with me?”

“I want to talk to you about Ava.”

At the mention of Ava’s name, all color drained from Lorelei’s face. She took a step back, looking unsteady on her feet all of a sudden, but Sara quickly closed the distance between them again. She reached out her free hand, and Ava had no doubt that Sara would grab Lorelei should she try to get away from them.

“Not here.” Lorelei’s voice sounded strangled, and she jerkily shook her head before she whirled around and rushed back towards the church. Sara was quick to follow her, and Ava let herself be pulled along once more, trying to focus all of her attention on her own hand and on the firm grasp Sara had on it.

The door to St. Peter creaked on its hinges when Lorelei pulled it open. The air inside was cool and stale, and Ava’s eyes hardly had time to adjust as Lorelei ignored the brightly-lit central aisle of the church to lead them into one of its side aisles. Above them, the sunbeams filtering through the windows lit up the dark reds and greens of the vaulted arches and their grapevine ornaments, but down below everything was steeped in shadows. Lorelei hurried along the aisle and didn’t stop until they had reached what felt like the darkest spot in the church, right next to the confessional booth. Ava remembered it only too well, even though she had never had much to say in it – there had been her thoughts of course, but Ava had learned early on that it was best to keep those to herself.

“What do you want?” Lorelei asked bluntly and crossed her arms over her chest. Now that they were hidden away from other people, she seemed calmer again, her expression kept carefully blank.

“Like I said,” Sara replied, no longer bothering to hide the anger in her voice, “We need to talk about Ava.”

“I don’t know anyone by that name.” 

The lie fell easily from Lorelei’s lips. There was no hint of conflict on her face, not even a split second of hesitation before the words struck Ava like a blow to the chest. After everything that had happened – everything Ava had done for her – Lorelei wouldn’t even admit to knowing her.

Ava didn’t stop to think before she pressed the button on the bracelet. She didn’t wait to see her own wrist materialize or for Sara’s grip to loosen before she yanked her hand free of Sara’s and took a long stride towards Lorelei. 

Ava felt nothing but grim satisfaction as Lorelei’s mouth fell open and her eyes widened almost comically. Her face grew pale, like it had out in the street when Sara had first said Ava’s name. More and more color drained from Lorelei’s cheeks, and Ava kept staring at them, unable to tear her eyes away from the irrefutable proof that she hadn’t been forgotten after all.

“Ava,” Lorelei finally breathed out, and if Ava hadn’t known better, she would have thought that her expression looked almost mournful. Lorelei lifted up a shaky hand, as if to touch Ava, only to have it swatted away by Sara who was suddenly standing right next to Ava again. Before Sara could say anything, though, the church walls echoed with the thud of a door falling closed.

“Who’s there?” a deep voice came from behind the column supporting the chancel. Ava saw Lorelei turn around, but she herself remained frozen in place. 

“I was just praying, father,” Lorelei mumbled as she took an unsteady step towards the column.

“Lorelei?” The man sounded pleasantly surprised, his voice much louder and clearer now. Ava heard him shuffle even closer, but she still couldn’t move a muscle.

“Wait! I’m coming, father.” Lorelei’s voice came out high-pitched as she tried to reach the column before the priest did, but Ava could already tell that she wouldn’t get there in time. Dread washed over Ava, and she squeezed her eyes shut, only to feel something press into her side. Ava’s eyes snapped back open just as Sara shoved her into the confessional booth and yanked the curtain shut behind them, plunging everything into darkness.

Chapter Text

Up high on a ledge is sitting
A maiden most marvelously fair.

A soft gasp escaped Ava’s throat as her back hit the wall. The warm puff of air ghosted across Sara’s cheek and along the side of her neck, and Sara’s own breath got caught in her throat. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, but she had no choice but to press her body even closer to Ava’s. The confessional booth would have been a tight fit even for one person, and they couldn’t afford to leave an outline in the booth’s curtain that might give them away.

For now, the priest was still over by the altar. The church dome amplified his murmured conversation with the Lorelei, but Sara couldn’t understand a single word they were saying – not when she could feel Ava’s chest brush against her own with every shuddering breath Ava took. Sara dug her fingernails into the skin of her palms, but instead of grounding her, it only made her realize how awkwardly her arms were hanging by her sides. Quickly, she brought one hand up and braced it against the wall next to Ava’s head, relieved to put at least some semblance of distance between them. 

For a moment, Sara just stared straight ahead. She could feel the rough wooden wall beneath her fingertips, but she couldn’t see it. The booth was dark, the only source of light a small opening in the wall that separated them from the priest’s compartment. Sara stole a glance at Ava’s face. Like Sara’s hand, it was shrouded in shadows. All Sara could make out were the whites of Ava’s eyes, wide and gleaming. The beam of light that filtered in through the latticed wood opening threw a checkered pattern across Ava’s neck and shoulders. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, and Sara’s eyes followed the movement – until they got caught on the locket resting between Ava’s collarbones.

Sara clenched her jaw. She didn’t need to see Ava’s face to know how she had to be feeling, how much it must have cost her to see that woman again, only to have her deny even knowing Ava. At least she hadn’t been brazen enough to lie to Ava’s face. Sara’s stomach churned as she remembered how the Lorelei had reached out to Ava, how she had tried to touch her and…

Ava stiffened, her breath hitching in her throat, and Sara’s body tensed up as she abruptly became aware of her surroundings again. The priest was still over by the altar – Sara could tell from the way his booming laughter echoed in the church dome. “But what could you possibly have to confess, child?” he asked. He sounded cheerful, amused even – as if the very idea of the Lorelei commiting a sin entertained him to no end – and all at once Sara knew why Ava had frozen up. 

She was trembling now, her breathing quick and shallow, and Sara didn’t stop to think before she slid her hand off the wooden wall and onto Ava’s shoulder. Her fingertips brushed along silky strands of hair for a moment before she moved her hand lower, slipping it between Ava’s shoulder blade and the wall. Ava’s shaking was even more noticeable now. Something heavy settled in Sara’s chest as she suddenly remembered all the times it had been Laurel holding her close while she herself had trembled and gasped for air. Laurel had always managed to calm her down. Her voice had grounded Sara even when she had been at her very worst – so much worse off than Ava was now.

Sara swallowed against the lump that still settled in her throat whenever she thought about her sister. She pressed her palm into Ava’s shoulder blade, gently pulling her body closer to her own. “It’s alright,” Sara murmured while she felt around in the darkness. Ava’s hand was cold and clammy when Sara found it, and it didn’t stop trembling even as she wrapped her own fingers around it. “I’m here, Ava,” she whispered, giving Ava’s fingers a small squeeze before she lifted their linked hands up between them. Sara took a moment to draw in a steadying breath, but the beating of her own heart was still anything but calm when she placed Ava’s hand over it. 

“Can you feel my heartbeat?” Sara began, only to falter again at the feeling of Ava’s fingers quivering against her chest. Sara swallowed thickly. “My… my breathing?” she murmured. Ava didn’t make a sound, but after a moment Sara could feel her nod jerkily. She pressed Ava’s palm more tightly against herself. “Can you try breathing with me, Ava?” she asked softly, relieved when Ava nodded again. “I want us to try something my sister always did for me, okay?” It was too dark to see anything, and Sara didn’t want to draw Ava’s attention to anything else the Lorelei might have to say, but there were still the other senses. “Can you tell me something else you can feel?”

Ava didn’t say anything for a moment. Her breathing was still quick and uneven, and Sara felt Ava’s fingers twitch before she drew in a long, trembling breath. Her voice came out brittle when she finally whispered, “The wood… at my back.” 

“Yes, good,” Sara murmured and squeezed Ava’s hand, still pressed firmly against her own chest. “What else is there?”

“Your hands, they’re…” Ava trailed off to draw in a shuddering breath, “they’re holding me.”

Her breath ghosted over Sara’s face again, and Sara felt her cheeks grow warm despite herself. “Yes,” she murmured, suddenly uncomfortably aware that her own face had to be clearly visible in the scattered light. “What can you smell?” she pressed on quickly, “Can you tell me two things?”

Ava’s chest brushed against Sara’s as she drew in another stuttered breath. “It smells stale… like dust and incense,” she whispered. Sara nodded and was about to move on when Ava added softly, “Your hair smells different.”

Sara blinked. For a moment, she had no idea how Ava could even know that, but then she remembered Green’s office and how Ava’s cheek had brushed against her own, how low Ava’s voice had sounded in her ear. Sara cleared her throat. “Yeah,” she croaked out and stopped again, trying to steady her voice, “It’s a new shampoo… something Nate came up with.”

“It’s nice,” Ava murmured quietly, “I like it.”

“You do?” Sara chuckled awkwardly. “I’ll make sure to tell him,” she mumbled, “I bet he’ll be pretty happy. Hair’s kind of his thing, and he always wants us to try new things and change our… anyway,” she cut off her rambling and squeezed her eyes shut. Her own heartbeat was pounding in her chest, so loud and quick that Ava had to feel it clearly against her palm. She had stopped trembling – Sara only noticed it now. The hand on her chest was steady now, almost as steady as it had been back in Green’s office when Sara had felt it, warm and soft, against her bare skin. Ava’s fingers twitched, and Sara’s eyes snapped back open. She shook her head roughly. Ava needed her help, she didn’t need… “Something you can taste,” Sara blurted out, “Can you think of anything?”

Ava didn’t reply. Only her fingers twitched again, bunching up the fabric of Sara’s bodice. Sara squinted into the darkness. Once more, the only thing she could make out were the whites of Ava’s eyes. They were even larger and brighter than before, and Sara suddenly realized that they had to be focused somewhere on her own face. She held her breath for a moment, but Ava’s gaze didn’t waver. Her eyes never left Sara’s face, and Sara couldn’t stop herself from leaning in, suddenly desperate to catch even a glimpse of Ava’s expression. Ava’s eyes grew even wider, and Sara’s mouth fell open when she saw it, her breath still trapped in her throat. The hand resting on Sara’s chest jerked again, and all at once she knew exactly what Ava had to be staring at. Sara’s breath rushed out her lungs in a quick huff of air.

“Coffee,” Ava blurted out, and Sara abruptly came back to herself when her hand got squashed between Ava and the wall. “Gideon made some before we left,” Ava continued, her voice wavering as she pressed herself even further into the wall. She tipped her head back, the whites of her eyes disappearing as she squeezed her eyes shut. The booth was quiet for a moment, the quick beating of her own heart the only thing Sara could hear. Ava let out a soft sigh. “I’m sorry I ruined everything,” she whispered towards the ceiling.

“Hey.” Sara squeezed Ava’s hand until she could tell Ava was looking at her again. “You didn’t ruin anything,” she said firmly. “What she did to you was terrible, and then to pretend not to know you…” Sara breathed out through her nose, trying to tamp down the anger she could feel churning in her stomach again. “Anyone would have reacted the way you did,” she told Ava after another deep breath.

The church dome echoed with the priest’s laughter once more, and Sara felt Ava flinch against her when the Lorelei joined in this time.

“You don’t have to stay here,” Sara murmured softly. “I can talk to her, and you can go back to the ship. I’ll come find you as soon as I’m finished and tell you everything I find out,” she promised, but Ava didn’t say anything in response. “You know I will, right?” Sara asked, suddenly worried.

“Yes,” Ava replied immediately, not a trace of hesitation in her voice. She drew in an unsteady breath. “Maybe you’re right.”

Sara let out a quiet sigh of relief. “Okay,” she murmured and gave Ava’s hand a final squeeze before she reluctantly let go of it and pulled her other hand out from behind Ava. The display of Sara’s time courier lit up as she tapped it, and Sara’s chest constricted when she finally saw the pained expression on Ava’s face. Sara grasped Ava’s hand again, tugging her close once more just as the wooden wall behind Ava was replaced by a time portal.

“Ask her why she did it,” Ava pressed out before she quickly untangled their hands and stepped through the portal. It flickered shut abruptly, and Sara was left staring into the darkness. She only realized how quiet the church had fallen when she felt the curtain behind her move. Sara whirled around – and came face-to-face with the Lorelei. 

“Where’s…” the Lorelei began, only to be cut off by Sara.

“I want answers now!” she said sharply as she pushed out of the booth. “How do we reverse the curse?” she demanded and took another step forward, crowding the Lorelei back towards the column that supported the sanctuary.

Sara’s voice echoed loudly through the church dome, but the Lorelei didn’t seem to hear her. Her eyes were wide and remained focused somewhere behind Sara even as she stumbled backwards. “How could she get away?” the Lorelei mumbled, staring at the confessional booth as if she expected Ava to magically appear there again. “How could she get away from the ledge?”

Sara’s mouth dropped open. “That’s what you’re worried about now? Why your curse couldn’t hold her there?” She shook her head and laughed mirthlessly. “It doesn’t matter how she got away, all that matters is that…”

“It’s not my curse,” the Lorelei cut her off.

Her brows had drawn together into a frown. She looked almost confused now, and all at once Sara didn’t feel like holding back her anger any longer. “Don’t lie to me!” she hissed, taking another step forwards and leaning close to the other woman. “I know it was you who put the necklace on her!”

“Because I had to!” the Lorelei snapped, her voice rising as well.

“Right!” Sara scoffed loudly. “You simply couldn’t help yourself – you just had to curse someone. Why did you pick Ava, huh? Because she made an easy victim? Because she trusted you? Because she never would have believed you would do something like this?” 

The Lorelei’s expression had darkened even further, but Sara was still surprised when she took a sudden step forwards and pushed back against Sara. “You know nothing!” the Lorelei spat, “You have no idea what you’re talking about, no idea what I’ve been through!”

She took another step closer, and Sara was suddenly struck by how much she reminded her of Ava – back when she was still behind the barrier in the lab, her face distorted with fury over Sara’s accusations. 

“You think I wanted to curse her?” the Lorelei demanded. Her eyes were boring into Sara’s, and up this close it almost looked as if they were glistening with tears. “That I’d choose to do that after it had been me for so many years?”

Sara brow furrowed, even as she straightened up and crossed her arms over her chest. “What are you talking about?”

The Lorelei’s hand was shaking as she brought it up to her own neck, and suddenly it was as if she couldn’t even see Sara anymore. “It must have been almost a year ago now,” the Lorelei whispered, “The day before had been bad – bright and sunny and so calm that the men’s screams carried up all the way to the top… it must have been four that day.” The Lorelei closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, a small, rueful smile was tugging at her lips. “Ava came by on her way to the monastery – just like she always did,” she murmured, her voice sounding warm and fond now. “She could tell that I was sad – she could always tell, and she was always so eager to help. But that day when I looked into her eyes…” The Lorelei’s voice cracked, and she faltered for a moment. “That day, I suddenly knew that she could help me.” She swallowed thickly. “I knew that it would work… that all I had to do was take off the necklace and put it on her – just like the Lord Bishop had said.”

“What?” Sara mumbled, but it was already starting to make perfect sense to her: the different descriptions of the Lorelei in the two poems; Ava being only ten when the first one was written; the curse keeping her from talking to men; John murmuring that they were missing something; Nate’s excited grin as he drawled, “I bet it was an evil bishop.”

“I was the one who was cursed.” The Lorelei’s soft confession brought Sara back to herself. The other woman was staring at her now, a haunted look on her face. 

“By the bishop…” Sara clarified slowly, her voice high-pitched with disbelief, “From the poem…”

“Yes,” the Lorelei breathed out, and more than anything else, she looked relieved now.

“But how could you even take off the necklace?” Sara asked, her mind still reeling, “And why did you give it to Ava? Why did you do that when you knew what it was like, when you knew exactly what would happen to her?”

The Lorelei averted her eyes to stare down at her own hands, and it was only now that Sara noticed how tightly the other woman had been wringing them together all this time. “It’s the only way to break free of the curse,” the Lorelei whispered, “You have to burden someone else with it…” She faltered for a moment, still unable to meet Sara’s eyes. “Someone who loves you… someone who’s willing to seal the trade-off with a kiss.”

Sara drew in a strangled breath. She gripped her own arms, still crossed over her chest, and tried to push down the dread that was suddenly crawling up her throat. Maybe the Lorelei was making all of this up; maybe she was simply lying – just like she had earlier when she had said that she didn’t know Ava. After all, there was no way anyone would do this. No one would be able to do what the Lorelei had done – not to someone they loved. The breath Sara had been holding rushed out of her lungs again. “Did you even love her at all?” she asked, her voice wavering.

“She was always so kind,” the Lorelei whispered instead of answering the question. The tears she had been holding back up until now finally gathered along her eyelashes, and Sara felt the hair at the nape of her neck stand up. “I wish I could have loved her,” the Lorelei admitted, her voice so small now that Sara had to lean close to even hear her. “I never wanted to hurt her, but I couldn’t stay up there any longer – I just wanted my life back!” The Lorelei reached out a shaking hand, and for a moment it seemed as if she would grab one of Sara’s arms, as if she wanted to hold onto it for support. “If you had been there, you’d know that I didn’t want to do it!” the Lorelei said imploringly, “You’d know that I only did what I had to do!” 

Sara recoiled from the other woman. “It makes no difference!” she forced out. The Lorelei’s arm dropped back down to her side, her features contorted in a stricken expression. “You knew it was wrong! You knew what would happen to her, and you still did it – because you were selfish, because you only cared about saving yourself…” Sara’s voice cracked, and she had to draw in a shuddering breath before she could continue. “And then you came here of all places, to Ava’s hometown…” Sara let out an incredulous huff of air as she shook her head. “You got married and settled down and now you live here, in her hometown, among all of her friends and family, doing all the things that she won’t ever get to do anymore.” Sara shook her head again, her eyes wide and unblinking. “How could you do any of that?”

Tears were flowing down the Lorelei’s cheeks now. “I didn’t want to be alone any longer,” she whispered, and Sara turned and walked away without giving her another glance. 

Sara had to shield her eyes when the heavy church door fell shut behind her. The sun was high up in the sky by now, but the small courtyard behind the church was shaded and empty. Sara leaned her back against the cool sandstone wall and closed her eyes for a moment. After the musty staleness of the church, the air outside felt clear and fresh, and Sara took a deep breath of it before she tapped her comms. “Gideon?” she asked, clearing her throat when she heard how rough her voice still sounded, “Did you get all of that?”

“Yes, Captain Lance. I take it you want to portal to the event in question rather than return to the Waverider?”

Sara’s lips quirked up at the corners. Despite everything that had just happened, she couldn’t help but smile at Gideon’s tone of resigned exasperation. “You know me so well, Gideon,” she replied.

“I suppose it would be a waste of my breath to remind you that any interference on your part might have disastrous consequences for the timeline,” Gideon continued, sounding more amused than petulant now. “I have extrapolated the most likely date and time of the event from the available data and transmitted the coordinates to your time courier. At an estimated accuracy of 82 percent, my calculations are far more…”

“Great work, thanks, Gideon,” Sara interrupted, only just catching Gideon’s huff of annoyance before she cut the comms and tapped her time courier once more. 

When the portal closed behind her, Sara found herself near the top of a steep incline. The summit was still a few paces away, but even from where she was standing the view was breathtaking. Sara’s hair fluttered in the breeze as she surveyed the river gorge below her. The midday sun stood high and bright above her and tinted the water with radiant hues of blue and light green. The ledge she was standing on jutted out into the gorge, the river curving around it, and all around her, lush green forests covered the clifftops, with terraced vineyards clinging to the steep slopes to the riverbed. The area itself seemed deserted. Sara couldn’t see a single boat on the water, but a little further downstream, she could just make out a tiny village on the river bank, and towering above it, the sprawling ruins of a castle. 

A sound drew Sara’s attention away from the view and towards the narrow path that was winding up to where she was standing. As the noise grew louder, she recognized it as gravel crunching under someone’s feet. The gorge echoed with a loud clatter as a few stones tumbled down the cliffside into the river valley. Sara was still tracking their descent, watching them bounce off the overhanging rocks, when she suddenly noticed some movement on the trail below her. Someone was coming around a bend in the path, and Sara quickly hurried up the few remaining steps to the peak. The plateau itself was made up of craggy slate, but just like the surrounding bluffs it was overgrown with bushes and shrubs. Sara ducked behind one of the larger ones and peeked through the dense foliage, trying to catch a glimpse of who was coming up the trail. 

It was Ava. Even at this distance, Sara could tell just from the way the other woman was holding herself. It took a few more moments before Sara could see Ava’s face, but when she did, she was taken aback by how young Ava looked. Her eyes were bright as she hiked up the path, and her smile was so full of joyful anticipation that Sara felt her chest grow tight. She couldn’t remember Ava ever looking like this. Even worse, Sara had a hard time remembering the last time she herself had been so carefree. It must have been years ago, before Laurel’s death and Sara’s own, before the League and the Amazo. Sara squeezed her eyes shut, and suddenly she could clearly see her own face as it had looked in the Gambit’s bathroom mirror – impossibly young and flush with excitement and the thrill of the forbidden. Oliver had called out for her, and Sara remembered how giddy it had made her; how she had giggled and thrown a final glance into the mirror to admire the lingerie she had splurged on just for him – for her sister’s boyfriend.

Ava had passed by while Sara was lost in thought, her back already turned to Sara as she made her way across the plateau. Up here, the light breeze Sara had felt on her way up turned into howling gusts of wind that whipped Ava’s hair across her shoulders and swallowed up the murmuring of the river along with any other sound. Sara’s movements were still completely silent as she stepped out from behind the bush and followed Ava.

Not much further away, the Lorelei was sitting on a small boulder. She stood up as soon as Ava came into view, but she didn’t move closer. Instead, she hovered by the edge of the cliff until Ava had reached her. The wind made it impossible to hear what they were saying, but from her vantage point behind another shrub, Sara could see the Lorelei reach out to grasp both of Ava’s hands. Ava bowed her head and leaned in, her back and shoulders relaxing at the first touch of the other woman’s hands on hers. The Lorelei started talking then, her mouth pressed close to Ava’s ear. Every now and then, Ava would shake her head at what she was hearing, but she never let go of the Lorelei’s hands.

Finally, the Lorelei said something that made Ava nod. The Lorelei froze, but after only a moment, a look of determination settled on her face. Sara felt her mouth run dry, and all at once it wasn’t the Lorelei she was seeing but Nyssa, her eyes hard and unyielding as she told Sara that her place would forever be with the League. With a rough shake of her head, Sara forced the memories out of her mind. She didn’t want to miss even a second of what was happening to Ava. 

The Lorelei was reaching out for Ava now, but Sara could see that her arms were shaking, so much so that the Lorelei quickly let them fall back to her sides again. Her eyes were wide and unblinking, and Sara’s blood ran cold when she saw how they darted around, how the Lorelei would look anywhere but at Ava’s face.

Only Ava didn’t seem to notice any of that. She simply moved even closer, all but pressing her body into the other woman’s. Sara’s mouth fell open, and she only just remembered to clench her jaw shut again before she could call out a warning. Everything seemed to come to a halt then. The Lorelei stood, tense and unmoving. The wind howled and whipped her hair around her face, and her mask of determination seemed to slip for a moment. Sara let out a shuddering huff of air, suddenly filled with the irrational hope that the Lorelei wouldn’t go through with it after all. But in the very next moment, she was already leaning in, tilting her head and pressing her lips to Ava’s. 

The lines of Ava’s back became soft and yielding as she melted into the kiss. Sara tried to swallow against the sudden tightness in her throat, but the burning in her chest only grew worse when Ava lifted up her arms and pulled the Lorelei even closer. Ava’s fingers clung to the other woman’s shoulders as she pressed their bodies together, but the Lorelei’s hands were still only dangling by her sides. After only a moment, though, she reached up and pushed against Ava’s shoulders, shaking off her embrace and ending the kiss. 

Immediately, the Lorelei’s hands went to the back of her neck. Her fingers were clumsy as they fumbled there for a moment, but then a flash of surprise crossed her face. Gingerly, she brought her hands forward again, the ends of the necklace gripped in her trembling fingers. The locket swayed and fluttered in the wind for a few seconds before the Lorelei wound her arms around Ava, locking her in an awkward embrace. Sara pressed her lips more tightly together, but she couldn’t hold in a gasp when the necklace snapped closed again and settled around Ava’s neck.

The Lorelei’s lips parted in surprise as her arms fell back to her sides. Her eyes grew bright and found Ava’s again – for the first time since the Lorelei had initiated the kiss. Slowly, a smile bloomed on her face, and it was so radiant and joyful that Sara finally understood why someone would write poems about her. The Lorelei wound her arms around Ava again, wrapping her up in a tight embrace that lasted much longer than their fleeting kiss. 

When the Lorelei finally let go, she kept one of her hands on Ava’s shoulder to give it a reassuring squeeze. A final goodbye was murmured into Ava’s ear, and then the Lorelei was already hurrying away – towards the path down the cliff and to her freedom. Her mouth twisted into a pained grimace as soon as her back was to Ava, her fingers reaching up to wipe at her cheeks, but Sara hardly even noticed any of that. She only had eyes for Ava, for her bright eyes and stunned smile and for the way she kept brushing her fingertips along her own lips. The necklace looked pretty as it hung around her neck, the midday sun glinting off the locket between her collarbones and making it sparkle. 

Sara swallowed thickly before she tapped her time courier. She felt her fingers put in the familiar coordinates and heard the portal flicker open, but Sara’s eyes never wavered; they remained fixed on Ava’s smiling face even as Sara stepped back onto the Waverider.

Chapter Text

For those who’d fallen for her,
There was no breaking free.

A chime from the door made Ava’s eyes snap up, and she finally loosened the tight grip she had on her own hands. She felt her chest grow warm with anticipation – even though it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes since she had left Sara behind at St. Peter. Ava looked down at her lap again and let her thumb brush along her palm. It was the one that Sara had held onto while they had been hidden away in the confessional booth. Sara‘s fingers had felt so firm and warm around Ava‘s that it had been difficult to let go. In the darkness, Ava had only caught brief glimpses of Sara, but the shimmering window to the ship had finally lit up all of her face. When Ava had wrenched her hand away, a look of surprise, maybe even disappointment, had crossed Sara’s features. It had almost made Ava falter, but she simply couldn’t stay there any longer – not when the church had still echoed with Lorelei’s laughter. 

Another chime came from the door, and all at once Ava realized that it couldn’t be Sara after all. Ava had only just stumbled through the window and slumped down on her bed, so Sara still had to be at St. Peter – talking to Lorelei. 

Ava clenched her jaw as her mind was once more flooded with memories: Lorelei’s easy smile, her carefree humming while she strolled down Oberstraße, the mayor’s wife beaming at her and the blacksmith bowing his head, the priest laughing and joking with her – when they had all forgotten about Ava, when even Lorelei pretended not to know Ava anymore, when she didn’t think twice about denying Ava to Sara’s face. 

Ava shook her head roughly. She couldn’t understand what she had ever seen in Lorelei, how she could ever have cared for someone so selfish and callous, someone who cared nothing for her. A lump settled in Ava’s throat, and it only grew more solid the more she willed it away. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe, but then Ava remembered to focus all of her attention back on her hand, on how the lines of her palm felt under the pad of her thumb. Her throat began to open up again and after a few shuddering breaths she felt her heartbeat slow down – just like it had in the booth when Sara had held her close and taught her how to calm herself.

The door chime rang a third time, and Ava shook her head once more before she finally looked up at the ceiling. “Who is it, Gideon?”

“It’s Dr. Palmer,“ Gideon replied quietly.

Ava stared back down at her hands for a moment before she stole a glance at the mirror by the door. Her skin looked pallid, her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed from crying, and her mouth was twisted into a deep frown. Ava squeezed her eyes shut. She was in no state to see anyone. 

“Dr. Palmer appears to be worried.”

Ava’s eyes blinked back open. For a few seconds, she just stared up at the ceiling, slowly breathing in and out through her nose. “Thank you for telling me, Gideon,” she murmured before she finally got up off the bed. The bracelet dug into her wrist when she pressed down on it, and Ava let out another huff of air as she watched her reflection disappear behind the barrier. It was a relief that Ray wouldn’t have to see the state she was in.

Ray seemed startled when the door hissed open. His hand hovered in the air for a moment, ready to press the door chime once more, but before Ava could say anything, he had already composed himself again. “I’m sorry for disturbing you,” he mumbled sheepishly, shifting from one foot to the other until Ava stepped aside to let him come in. Ray’s steps faltered as he took in the room, but then the door hissed shut behind him, and he turned around to face Ava again. “I just wanted to check in on you,” he explained, “Gideon kept me updated on the mission – Sara made me interim captain, you know?” He tried to maintain a somber expression as he said it, but Ava could see a proud little grin tugging at his lips. “Anyway…” He chuckled awkwardly before the corners of his mouth turned down. “I was worried because Gideon told me that you came back alone… without Sara.” He took a hesitant step closer to Ava and asked quietly, “Did you two have a fight?” 

Ava frowned at the strange question. Why would she fight with Sara when Sara had only ever tried to help her; when she had done everything in her power to protect Ava? If it hadn’t been for Sara, Ava would have hurt yet another innocent man. When the priest had shown up, Ava herself had been useless, frozen with dread, but Sara had pushed her into the confessional booth just in time. Sara had held her close and talked her down. She had taken care of everything when all Ava had been able to do was stand around and do nothing – just like she always did.

Ava’s cheeks grew warm with shame, and once more she was glad for the barrier that kept her hidden from Ray. “Of course we didn’t fight,” she murmured. 

“What happened?” Ray asked softly and took another small step closer. His eyes were so wide and full of concern that Ava had to look down at her own hands instead.

“We saw her in the street,” she murmured as she started tugging at her fingers. “Sara stopped her and we went into the church to talk. Then Sara asked her about me, but…” Ava faltered for a moment. “She said that she didn’t know me… that she had never even heard my name.”

Ray made a soft sound, but Ava couldn’t stop the words from rushing out of her mouth. “After everything that happened, everything she did to me, she wasn’t even sorry. She was laughing! All those years that I was stuck up there...” Ava’s voice cracked and turned into a whisper. “All the terrible things I did, and she was laughing. She must have been laughing the whole time…” Ava trailed off, her eyes still glued to her own hands. They were trembling, and the knuckles of her right hand slowly turned white with how tightly it was wrapped around the left one. “She was laughing, and I didn’t do anything about it,” she admitted softly. “I just ran away. I thought I was ready to see her again, that it might be a good thing, a chance to finally get some closure or some answers at least…” Ava’s voice tapered off as tears gathered along her eyelashes. “But now I won’t ever know why she did it,” she forced out.

Other than the sound of their breathing, the room was silent. “Sara is still there,” Ray said after a moment. His voice was soothing and full of conviction when he added, “She’ll find out how to break the curse, and she’ll also ask the Lorelei why she did it. You can trust Sara – she’ll find out everything you need to know.”

“I know. But she shouldn’t have to!” Ava drew in a shaky breath to steady her voice, but her next words only came out even more high-pitched. “She shouldn’t have to do this just because I was too much of a coward. I should have stayed, I should have confronted her, but I just couldn’t do it, and now…”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Ray said, so forcefully that Ava finally glanced up at him. 

His mouth was set in a tight line, and his usually vibrant brown eyes were downcast and unfocused. “It’s hard to confront people, to ask for the truth when you don’t really want to hear it.” He shook his head slightly and looked up at Ava again. “I know it’s not the same, but I had a fiancée once…” he cut himself off with a mirthless chuckle. “Or an almost-fiancée, I guess. We never really went through with the engagement – that probably should have been a red flag.” He let out another short laugh before he pressed his lips together, his gaze focused somewhere on the wall behind Ava. “But if I’m being honest with myself, I knew that something was wrong long before any of that happened. Even when it seemed like we were happy, there was always this feeling, this gnawing in the pit of my stomach, you know?” He looked at her as if asking for confirmation, and Ava was surprised to find that she knew exactly what he was talking about.

“There was someone else,” he murmured, “Someone she loved far more than she ever could have loved me. Part of me knew that all along, but I never said anything...” Ray hesitated for a moment before he added quietly, “I didn’t want her to tell me I was right.” He smiled ruefully. “At first, I hoped that things would get better, and when they didn’t, I thought that what we had could be enough. But in the end it wasn’t. And it shouldn’t be,” he added with renewed confidence in his voice. “Because I deserve better. I shouldn't be a placeholder for someone else – I deserve someone who loves me for who I am.” He ducked his head as if trying to catch Ava’s eyes even through the barrier. “And you deserve someone like that too.”

“I don’t.” Ava shook her head roughly. “Not after everything I’ve done.”

“Everyone makes mistakes, Ava,” Ray murmured, “We’ve all done things we regret – terrible things even, things we’d give anything to undo…” he trailed off and shook his head. The corners of his mouth quirked up for a moment and he took a steadying breath. “But that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve happiness.” His lips finally turned up into a smile, and Ava was surprised that it was no longer sad or subdued but the same easy smile she had grown to expect from him. “I’m sure we’ll all find happiness someday,” Ray said before he surprised Ava once more by adding, “Including you.”

A disbelieving scoff escaped Ava’s throat, but Ray’s smile didn’t falter. “You will,” he repeated, “I’m sure of it.”

For a moment, Ava could only stare at him. She had no idea how he could be so certain, but before she could ask him, Gideon’s voice rang out from the ceiling. 

“Speaking of – Captain Lance has just returned to the Waverider.” Ava blinked at the strange non-sequitur, but she couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on her face when Gideon added, “And she appears to be on her way here.”

When Ava looked back down from the ceiling, Ray’s smile had only widened. “I better leave you to it. I’m sure the two of you have a lot to discuss,” he said, and then he was out of the door before Ava even had the chance to thank him.

Ava pressed the button on her bracelet and turned to the mirror to watch the barrier dissolve. Talking to Ray had helped – Ava could tell just by looking at her face. The deep frown she had been wearing before his visit was gone. Instead, her brow was furrowed in confusion, and Ava only grew more bewildered the longer she thought about Ray’s words and his wide grin.

But then the door chime rang, and Ava forgot all about Ray. Warmth spread through her chest again, all the more so because this time around, she could be sure that it really was Sara. But when the door slid open, Ava was startled by how disheveled Sara looked. Her cheeks were flushed, and some strands of hair had come loose from her braids. A pang of worry pierced Ava’s chest, but before she could ask what had happened, Sara had already stepped into the room and grasped Ava’s hand.

“Are you alright?” Sara sounded a little breathless. Her eyes flickered all over Ava’s face and down to the locket at the base of her throat until they finally settled on Ava’s eyes. 

“Yes,” Ava murmured, and now that Sara was holding her hand, she found that she really meant it. She felt Sara’s eyes search her face once more. A deep crease had formed between her eyebrows, and Ava had the sudden urge to smooth it away with her fingertips. She squeezed Sara’s hand instead. “I’m fine. Really, Sara.”

“Good,” Sara murmured, but her expression remained tinged with worry. The concern shining in her eyes brought out the dark flecks that dappled the bright blue. In the gloom of the confessional booth, Ava hadn’t been able to really appreciate Sara’s eyes, but now she took a moment to just look at them. They were beautiful – just like everything about Sara. 

Ava glanced down as Sara’s fingers tightened around her own and when she looked back up, something had shifted in Sara’s eyes. They looked even darker now, almost as dark as they had been in the confessional booth. Ava couldn’t help but think back to how it had felt to be held by Sara, how low her voice had sounded in Ava’s ears and how beautiful her face had looked even in the scattered light. Ava could still recall every little detail about it – how Sara’s mouth had fallen open and how she had gasped, her warm breath washing over Ava’s chin…  

Ava cleared her throat and quickly disentangled her fingers from Sara’s so she could sit down on the bed. The same disappointment that Ava had noticed in the booth crossed Sara’s face, but it disappeared again as soon as Ava motioned for Sara to join her.

“I’m sorry for running off,” Ava murmured, once they were both seated, her fingers plucking at the comforter.

“You didn’t run off,” Sara protested, turning her body until her knees were brushing against Ava’s thigh. “It was my idea that you go back to the ship, and I’m glad you didn’t stay – the things she said...” Sara trailed off. She looked to the side for a moment, and Ava could see a muscle in her jaw jump. “I’m glad you didn’t have to hear any of that.”

Ava glanced down at where her fingers were still tugging at the comforter. She didn’t want to imagine what other lies Lorelei might have told Sara about her. “Did she tell you why she did it?” Ava asked quietly, trying to brace herself for the response.

“Yes.” Sara’s voice suddenly sounded a little strangled, and when Ava looked up again, Sara had averted her eyes. Ava followed her line of sight. There was a small crease in the skirt of Sara’s peasant dress, and Sara had started brushing her fingers over it again and again, in a vain attempt to smooth it out.

“I went to see it,” Sara admitted quietly before her eyes darted up to Ava’s again. “The moment she put the necklace on you,” Sara clarified when Ava only looked back at her blankly. “I know I should have asked you first, but I wasn't thinking at the time. I just wanted to see if she was telling the truth…” Sara’s voice wavered for a moment, but it came out steady and earnest again when she added, “I wanted you to know what I did, because I don’t want there to be any secrets between us. You can trust me, you know that?” Her eyes were searching Ava’s face once more, but her lips remained downturned in a small frown even when Ava nodded. “I’m sorry if telling you stirred up more bad memories,” Sara added softly. 

“It didn’t,” Ava murmured. Even after all these years, she always carried the memories of that day with her. The rush of excitement when she had reached the top and the sight of Lorelei waiting for her at the edge of the cliff; the way the wind had tugged at Lorelei’s hair until it had framed her face like a halo, her soft voice and beaming smile… and how naive and foolish Ava had been. Ava still remembered everything about that day. She knew that Sara wouldn’t judge her, but Ava still hesitated for a moment before she asked, “What did you see?”

Sara looked back down at lap again. “I saw the kiss,” she said quietly. Her fingers were once more fiddling with her skirt, and after a moment she started worrying her lip too. 

Ava could only stare as Sara’s teeth dug into her lower lip. It looked soft. It looked just as soft as it had in the confessional booth or any of the other times Ava had found herself staring at Sara’s mouth, imagining what it would feel like against her own. Would Sara’s lips be stiff and unmoving like Lorelei’s had been? Or would they feel as pliant and soft as they looked?

“The Lorelei was telling the truth.”

Sara’s words brought Ava out of her daydream. The nape of her neck grew warm, and she averted her eyes, hoping that her thoughts weren’t written all over her face. When she stole a glance to the side, though, Ava was distracted from her own embarrassment by how pained Sara’s expression suddenly looked.

“When she kissed you…” Sara trailed off and pressed her lips together – as if she was trying to hold in whatever she had to say next. “There is a way to break the curse,” she finally whispered, still staring down at the crease in her skirt.

Ava let out the breath she had been holding. She suddenly felt light-headed. She hadn’t dared to hope for a loophole in the curse, hadn’t even dared to imagine that there really might be a way for her to finally be free again. Her chest expanded and grew warm, and her lips turned up into a beaming smile. It felt unfamiliar as it spread across her face, as if it was drawing on muscles that Ava hadn’t used in years.

“Ava.” Sara’s tone was urgent, almost desperate, as she tugged Ava’s hand into her own. “The curse can be broken, but there’s a price. You can only take off the necklace if you give it to someone else, someone who cares for you…” Sara swallowed thickly and tightened her grip on Ava’s fingers until it was almost painful. Ava glanced down at her own hand, at the imprints Sara’s fingertips were pressing into her skin. “Someone who’s willing to kiss you,” Sara whispered finally.

For a long moment, Ava didn’t understand. But then she remembered. She remembered how her stomach had erupted with butterflies whenever she had turned the last bend in the path and caught her first glimpse of Lorelei; how the constant sadness in her eyes had made Ava’s chest feel tight and how it had expanded with warmth again at the slightest hint of a smile on Lorelei’s lips. Ava would have given anything for Lorelei’s happiness – she had loved Lorelei. Ava might no longer understand why, but she really had loved her. And Lorelei had repaid Ava with a curse. Ava’s vision grew blurry for a moment, but she quickly clenched her jaw and squeezed her eyes shut – she would not shed another tear over that woman.

When Ava finally managed to force her eyes back open, the first thing she saw were Sara’s lips. They were pressed into a tight line, and all at once Ava realized that she would never get to feel them against her own. She would never get to kiss Sara because kissing Sara would doom her – just like Ava had doomed everyone else who had ever come close to her. The screams echoing up the river gorge, the empty eyes of the man holding the camera, the misshapen bracelet around his wrist – a gift from his son or daughter that would forever remain at the bottom of the sea. Just like the man’s dead body. Just like the bodies of all the other men Ava had drowned. Ava felt her throat close up. She squeezed her eyes shut against the terrible memories and jerked her hand out of Sara’s, her fingers tearing at the necklace that would forever remain around her neck.

“Hey.” Ava’s eyes snapped back open at the first touch of Sara’s hands on hers. Sara’s voice was soft, her fingers gentle as she pried Ava’s fingers off the necklace. “Look at my face Ava,” Sara said softly, “Try to concentrate on my face.” Sara’s eyes were wide and dark, and the crease between her eyebrows was etched so deeply into her forehead that Ava was suddenly sure that she would never be able to smooth it away. Something solid and heavy settled in her chest when she realized that once again, Sara’s only concern was for Ava. After everything Sara had already done for her, after she had put her trust in Ava and faced off against Green and Lorelei for her, Sara still wanted to do more. She still cared only about helping Ava, never even thinking about the danger she would put herself in. 

Ava forced a smile. Sara might have forgotten about her own safety, but Ava wouldn’t. Ava would do what was best for Sara, what would keep Sara safe.

“We’ll find a way to fix this,” Sara said urgently. Ava’s smile quivered for a moment, but she managed to keep the corners of her mouth turned up.

“I know things look hopeless right now, but all curses have loopholes – we just haven’t found the one to this curse yet,” Sara continued, her voice only growing more insistent when she promised, “But we will – we will find a way out of this!” Her eyes were boring into Ava’s and from the look in them Ava could tell that Sara really believed what she was saying. 

Ava wanted to believe her too. She wanted to let Sara convince her that the impossible could come true – just like Sara had managed to convince herself. But Ava couldn’t forget how long she had sat up on the ledge and waited for Lorelei’s return; she couldn’t forget how she had searched for compassion in her friend’s eyes, only to come up empty; or how she had yearned for her mother’s arms, only for her mother to keep them wrapped around herself. Ava had given up on hoping for the impossible long ago. She knew that happy endings only happened in fairytales.

“We will find a way to free you,” Sara repeated, “I promise you that.” She kept staring into Ava’s eyes – until Ava gave her a quick nod. It was the right thing to do. Ava could tell from the way Sara’s fingers relaxed around her own, from the way her thumb started brushing along the back of Ava’s hand. It was soothing, and for a moment, Ava didn’t think of anything but the feeling of Sara’s skin against hers. But then Sara murmured, “You wanted to know why she did it.”

Ava felt her stomach drop. Her mind was still reeling from all the devastating things Sara had already told her. She wasn’t sure if she would be able to cope with much more.

“She only wanted to free herself,” Sara explained, not seeming to notice Ava’s turmoil. “She had been cursed too, and she just needed someone – anyone – to pass the curse onto. It didn’t have anything to do with you.”

Ava nodded once more, even though she knew that Sara was wrong. It had everything to do with Ava. If she hadn’t been so foolish, so blind with love, none of this would have happened. Lorelei may have been the one to curse her, but Ava had only herself to blame for falling for Lorelei in the first place. 

Sara was still holding her hand, and for a moment Ava just let her eyes follow the soothing patterns Sara’s thumb was brushing across Ava’s skin. With Lorelei, Ava hadn’t been able to control herself. She had given in to her feelings and desires, and it had brought nothing but pain and suffering – to her and to so many other innocent people. Ava stole a glance at Sara’s face. Her eyes were still dark with worry, the deep crease still etched between her brows. Lorelei had never worried about Ava. She hadn’t cared for Ava one way or another. Ava had been irrelevant to her, just a means to an end. All Lorelei had cared about was herself. Ava only realized it now, but it had always been up to her to keep herself safe. She had failed miserably at that. But she wouldn’t fail at protecting Sara. 

Ava took in a shuddering breath before she looked up, still with that forced smile straining at her lips. “It’s a lot to think about,” she murmured and carefully withdrew her hand from Sara’s grasp. Sara’s brows furrowed in confusion, and her hand hovered uselessly in the air for a moment before she awkwardly pulled it back into her own lap. “I think I’d like to be alone for a little while now,” Ava continued.

The frown on Sara’s face only deepened. “Are you sure?” she asked hesitantly.

Ava nodded and actually meant it for once. “I just need some time to think about everything.” She stood up from the bed. 

Sara stared up at her for another moment, but then she nodded slowly. “Of course,” she murmured and pushed herself to her feet as well. “Today has been a lot. You should try to get some rest. We’ll figure out how to break the curse tomorrow.”

Ava felt her lower lip wobble and quickly ducked her head as she pressed the door opener. Through her eyelashes, she saw Sara give her another earnest smile, and then the door slid closed between them.

Ava braced her hands against it. She squeezed her eyes shut, but it didn’t stop the tears from falling.

“I’m sorry,” Gideon said quietly, and all at once Ava finally understood. Gideon’s teasing undertone when she had announced Sara’s arrival, Ray’s wide grin and his absolute certainty that Ava would find happiness – it all made sense now.

Ava let out a strangled laugh that turned into a sob. Ray’s words seemed like a cruel mockery now. She knew exactly when she had been at her happiest: before they had gone to Bacharach, here in this room, with Sara. When Sara had held her hand and told her that she wasn’t alone, when her bright blue eyes had shone with so much optimism that even Ava couldn’t help but feel hopeful about the future.

Now Ava knew better. There wouldn’t be any future with Sara, and there would be no happiness for Ava.

Chapter Text

By now the fire’s caught me,
Set my own heart ablaze.

Sara groaned loudly into her pillow before she turned onto her back again. The covers were twisted and tangled around her body, and Sara tore at them for a few futile seconds before finally giving up. She stared up into the darkness for a moment. Her bed felt stifling, even though she had already asked Gideon to adjust the room temperature twice. Sara drew in a deep breath before she started tugging at the covers once more. When she had finally freed herself, she dropped her head back onto her pillow and squeezed her eyes shut.

“What time is it, Gideon?” she murmured.

“It’s 2 a.m., Captain,” Gideon replied succinctly.

Sara waited for her to segue into a long-winded explanation about the nature of time in the temporal zone, but the AI forewent her usual monologue for once. Sara was still deciding what to make of that when her stomach growled loudly. She blinked her eyes open.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have skipped dinner,” Gideon observed helpfully.

“Yes. Thank you, Gideon,” Sara muttered back at the ceiling. Gideon had been nagging her about this all evening, ever since Sara had made her tell Nate and John to look into the Lorelei’s story about the bishop – something that Sara could have done herself over dinner, as Gideon was quick to point out.

But Sara hadn’t been in the mood for dinner. She hadn’t been in the mood for the barrage of questions that awaited her or for having to explain what had happened in Bacharach over and over again. Telling Ava had been hard enough. 

Sara’s chest constricted, and she squeezed her eyes shut again – remembering the way Ava’s eyes had lit up and the radiant smile that had spread across her lips. When Sara had told her the curse could be broken, Ava had seemed lighter, as if the burden of a lifetime had been lifted off her. She had looked young, almost as young and carefree as she had been on her way up the cliffside – before the Lorelei had chained her to it. For a few moments, Sara hadn’t been able to do anything but stare at Ava, at how beautiful she was. But then Sara had remembered what she had to do, that she had no choice but to crush Ava’s hopes all over again.

Ava had shut down after that. She had put on a brave face, but Sara had seen how shaken she really was, how full of despair. It had taken all of Sara’s self-restraint not to pull Ava into her arms; not to hold her tight and whisper all the things into her ear that Sara was dying to tell her. 

But Sara wasn’t going to force Ava to open up. She’d give her space to process everything at her own pace. That’s what Sara had kept telling herself. But at the door when Ava hadn’t even said a single word, when all she had been able to do was stare down at the floor, her lips forced into a frail smile and her eyes already bright with tears…

Sara sat up abruptly. She needed a drink.

Gideon dutifully turned up the lights as Sara got out of bed and grabbed a crumpled hoodie off her desk chair. As soon as she stepped through the door, though, Sara’s steps faltered.

“Gideon…” she murmured dangerously.

Ever helpful, the AI had already switched on the corridor lights – but not the ones leading to the captain’s office and the bottle of scotch waiting for Sara there. Instead, the lights pointed the way towards the galley.

“I would advise that you consume something more nourishing than spirits, Captain. Drinking whiskey on an empty stomach really isn’t conducive…”

“That’s for me to decide,” Sara cut Gideon off, feeling more than just a little annoyed now. She really didn’t have the patience for one of Gideon’s lectures about her unhealthy coping mechanisms right now.

“As you wish.”

The rest of the corridor lights lit up, and Sara huffed out a sarcastic ‘thank you’. 

Gideon’s earlier reply had been clipped, but as Sara started to make her way towards the bridge, the AI’s tone turned conversational. “Did you know that sufficient nutrient consumption is not only essential for physical performance, but also for cognitive functioning? Perception and attention, even reasoning and decision-making abilities – all of these operate less effectively in physiological need states, such as hunger. Moreover… ”

Sara rolled her eyes at the irrelevant chatter and tried her best to ignore it. But then Gideon said something that stopped her dead in her tracks. 

“…and the ability to focus would certainly be helpful tomorrow – when Dr. Heywood and Mr. Constantine present the results of their research into Ms. Sharpe’s predicament.”

Ava’s strained smile, the tears that had gathered along her eyelashes, the way her fingers had scrabbled and torn at her necklace – Sara shook her head to clear the images from her mind. She took a moment to draw in a steadying breath before she scowled up at the ceiling. “Fine,” she muttered.

To Gideon’s credit, she didn't say anything as Sara turned on her heel and trudged back down the corridor towards the galley.

When Sara arrived there, the dinner table was already occupied. 

Charlie was looking up at her with a grin, and Sara let out a small sigh before she forced her lips into a half-smile. Seeing the thick flannel that Charlie was wrapped up in, Sara was suddenly glad for the hoodie she had put on. Compared to her own room, the galley was freezing. Sara scowled up at the ceiling once more – so much for Gideon adjusting the room temperature in her quarters. With another huff, Sara marched over to the food fabricator. As she put in her order of French Toast, she half expected more sass from the AI about her unhealthy eating habits, but Gideon seemed to know not to push her luck.

Charlie had opted for a comfort food too. A large plate of cookies sat on the table in front of them – frosted shortbread by the looks of it. Sara noticed that they were still untouched when she slumped down in the chair across from Charlie. Before she could comment on that, though, Charlie was already leaning forward in their own chair.

“What’s keeping you up then?” they asked, sounding much too cheerful for this hour of night.

“I couldn’t sleep – too much to think about,” Sara mumbled before digging into her French Toast.

“So you’ve been thinking, huh?” 

Sara looked up from her plate. Charlie had braced their elbows on the table. Their chin was propped up in both hands, and a wide smirk was stretching across their face. “About anyone in particular?”

Sara clenched her jaw. She had known that she’d regret giving in to Gideon’s badgering. “I’m really not in the mood, Charlie,” she forced out, pointedly raising her eyebrows before she shoved another bite of French Toast into her mouth.

“Sorry, Boss.” Charlie dropped their hands to the table and slumped back into their chair. They reached for one of the cookies, but instead of picking it up, they only began to nudge it around the plate.

Sara tried to focus on her food again, but from the corner of her eye she could see that Charlie’s fingers remained restless – mindlessly pushing the cookie back and forth on the plate – until their hand suddenly stilled. Sara’s own fingers clenched around her fork, but when Charlie spoke again, it wasn’t to tease her. “You want to talk about what happened?” they asked quietly, “About what you found out?” 

Sara didn’t. She swallowed down her bite of French Toast to tell Charlie just that, but then she remembered the last time she had sat at this table.

‘You’re not alone anymore – you have all of us now,’ Zari had said. 

And Sara had taken that to heart. She knew that Zari had been telling the truth, and Sara did want to do better. She wanted to try and not bottle up all of her feelings anymore, to try and talk to people instead. Sara closed her eyes for a moment. This afternoon, she had failed miserably at that – all the things she had so desperately wanted to say to Ava, all the things she was too much of a coward to tell her…

“The curse can only be broken by cursing somebody else,” Sara blurted out before she could think better of it. “You can only take off the necklace if you put it on someone else.” She paused before she added quietly, “Someone who loves you.”

Charlie frowned. “Maybe the Lorelei was lying,” they retorted, “Maybe she just…”

“No,” Sara interrupted them, “I went to check out her story.” She swallowed against the sudden lump in her throat. “I saw the moment she put the necklace on Ava.”

Charlie was quiet for a few seconds, their brow still furrowed. “What was she like?” they finally asked.

“Selfish.” The word burst out of Sara. She drew in a deep breath through her nose. “The Lorelei isn’t evil, just selfish,” she explained, relieved to hear that she sounded more calm now. She still couldn’t keep her lip from curling when she added, “Ava was just a means to an end to her. It was the Lorelei who wore the necklace first. She said that some bishop had cursed her, and then when Ava came along, she realized that she could save herself because of how much…” Sara’s voice cracked, and she had to clear her throat. “Because of how much Ava loved her,” she finished quietly. She stared down at her plate, her fingers clenched around her fork as she poked at the remains of her French Toast.

“But I don’t think she does anymore,” Charlie said. “Ava,” they explained when Sara just stared blankly at them. “I don’t think she loves the Lorelei anymore – just if you’re worried about that.”

Sara opened her mouth to protest, to say that of course she wasn’t worried about that. But then she remembered the lump that had lodged in her throat when she had first seen Ava’s face on the trail up the cliffside; when she had seen Ava’s eyes and how full of excitement and longing they were. Sara remembered how her stomach had lurched when Ava had pressed herself close to the Lorelei; how tight her chest had felt when they had kissed. She remembered the surge of anger that had pierced through her in the church, when the Lorelei had reached out to touch Ava; and she remembered the heaviness that had settled in her chest when she had realized that even after all these years, Ava still couldn’t take her eyes off the other woman.

Sara had been jealous. She still was. The Lorelei had been Ava’s great love – maybe even her only one. Feelings that deep didn’t just go away. They stayed with you, even if the other person betrayed you, even if they used you and did terrible things to you . Sara knew that only too well. It had taken her years to get over Nyssa.

Sara was jealous. The idea of Ava still being in love with that woman made Sara’s stomach churn. She’d rather not talk about it – or even think about it – ever again. But Sara also knew that she’d never be able to deal with these feelings if she couldn’t even admit them here, in the middle of the night, to her friend.

“Yeah… I worry about that,” Sara admitted quietly, only to regret it in the very next moment when Charlie let out a small chortle.

“Sorry.” Charlie held up their hands. “It’s just a little funny that you’re jealous of the Lorelei, because if you ask me, Ava’s about as madly in love with her as you are with Constantine.”

Sara’s brow furrowed. “What does John have to do with any of this?”

Charlie let out another snort, but when Sara only continued to stare at them, they cocked their head at her. “You mean, you haven’t noticed?” they asked incredulously. “Ava’s jealous of him.”

“What?” Sara exclaimed. “No, she’s not!”

Charlie scoffed and shook their head in amusement. “Trust me. She is.”

“But why would she…” Sara began, only to trail off again. It didn’t make any sense. She and John had had a bit of fun, but what she felt for Ava was…

“I’ve never seen you be this serious about someone.” Charlie's quiet murmur drew Sara out of her thoughts. She was surprised at how earnest Charlie’s expression suddenly was. “Granted, I haven’t been around for that long, but Z and Nate said so too.”

Sara felt the nape of her neck grow warm. She did want to be more open with people, but the idea of her team discussing her feelings for Ava made her stomach churn. Sara had never been bothered by speculations about her love life before. She had nothing to be ashamed of, so she had never minded the crew’s good-natured teasing – not until now.

“What would you do if there was no curse?” 

Sara blinked at the blunt question. “I don’t know,” she murmured. Charlie’s eyes were warm and understanding. They made Sara want to be honest. “I don’t want to hurt her,” she whispered.

“You wouldn’t,” came Charlie’s immediate reply. Their voice was full of conviction when they added, “You’d never hurt someone you care about.”

Sara could only grimace at the irony. “I’ve hurt plenty of people, Charlie – especially the ones I loved. My past relationships…” She pressed her lips into a tight line for a moment. “Let’s just say they all ended badly. I have a way of messing things up, of ruining anything good that comes into my life…” Sara swallowed. Something hard and sharp-edged was digging into her palm, and she suddenly realized how tightly she was gripping her fork. She carefully placed it on her plate, next to the soggy remains of her French Toast. “I won’t do that to Ava. I won’t be that selfish.” The word left a bitter taste in Sara’s mouth, and it only grew worse the longer she thought about everything that Ava had already been through. “Ava has had to deal with more than enough of that – she deserves better!”

Charlie was quiet for a moment, and Sara jumped at the chance to finally change the topic. “What are you doing here anyway?”

Charlie blinked before awkwardly clearing their throat. “Just needed some time to think,” they muttered, sounding flustered all of a sudden. They started fiddling with the sleeve of their flannel, and it was only now that Sara realized why it had seemed so familiar all along. It was Zari’s.

Sara leaned forward and braced her elbow on the table, propping her chin up on her hand. “About anyone in particular?” she asked.

Charlie gave her a dark look, but then they couldn’t hold back a small smile. 

“Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?” Sara asked gently.

“Right, why don’t I just do that?” Charlie scoffed. “I don’t want to mess up our friendship and all that jazz.” Their eyes dropped down to the plate of cookies in front of them. “I really don’t know what I’d do without her,” they admitted softly.

“Hey.” Sara waited until Charlie looked up and met her eyes again. “Zari would never hold your feelings against you or end your friendship over this. She loves you too much – anyone can see that. And yes, maybe it’s only as a friend...” Sara trailed off for a moment when Charlie’s face screwed up into a frown. “But what if it’s not?” she added quietly. “What if she feels just the same way you do?” Sara couldn’t help the small smile that suddenly tugged at her lips. Her voice grew soft when she added, “There’s never any guarantees, but at the end of the day, love is worth the risk.”

Charlie just stared back at her for a moment, but then the corners of their lips turned up as well. “That’s good advice, Boss.” They let out a small exhale before they pushed their chair back and got up from the table. “I guess I’ll go back to my quarters and think about that some more.” 

The usual saunter was back in Charlie’s walk as they made their way over to the door. Before they stepped out into the corridor, they grinned back over their shoulder at Sara. “Maybe you should think about it too.” 

Sara stared after Charlie as they disappeared from view.

Love was worth the risk. Sara firmly believed that – even after everything she had been through. Sara’s past had only made her more sure of this: she may have had to pay the price for all the reckless things she had done for love, but if she hadn’t let the Legends into her heart, she’d still be the empty shell of a woman she had been after her resurrection.

Love was always worth the risk, but Sara wasn’t going to let Ava bear any of that risk. Ava had already suffered enough. She deserved something reliable and safe, the steadfast kind of love that Sara didn’t even know if she herself was capable of. And that Ava probably didn’t want from her anyway. Charlie might mistake Ava’s understandable annoyance with John for jealousy, but Sara had no idea how Ava actually felt about her. 

And it didn’t really matter anyway. Freeing Ava of the curse was the only thing that mattered. Sara clenched her jaw as she thought back to Ava’s forced smile and the empty look in her eyes. Ava might have already given up hope, but Sara never would. She’d never give up on Ava.