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Hunter hated to admit it but Emily and Kevin were actually pretty cute together, and Emily was actually really nice… and super metal. But that did not mean he enjoyed them being all lovey-dovey in front of him. He had been going to therapy a lot lately and working on thinking about the why behind his moods instead of just letting them go straight to anger, so he could better communicate his wants and needs. Right now he was starting to get pissed off, but not because he thought Emily was taking Kevin from his life (that was 2 months ago) but because he was jealous. He wanted what they had with someone. Hunter was starting to feel proud of himself for working through an emotion without getting angry, but he quickly started to get mad again when he realized that not only did he want a relationship, he wanted a relationship with another boy.
Kevin and Emily left after practice and he sat in his bed writing a song. Hunter still wasn't great about talking his feelings out but songs helped a lot. Eventually, he stopped writing and just started thinking.
He wasn’t actually homophobic like he had no problem with gay people and some of the kids at school who were the least lame were gay. But gay was never a thing he thought he could be. He just figured he would eventually get a crush on a girl. But when he was thinking about his hypothetical future date that would make him less of a third wheel, he pictured Clay. And it all snapped into place. It's not like he just now started to think Clay was hot but before he kind of just figured that everyone knew Clay was hot so that didn’t make him gay, clay being hot was just a fact. But now that he was over his, admittedly petty, rivalry he realized that Clay was more than just hot, he was way too nice for his own good, and funny, and really considerate, and actually not bad at guitar when he wasn’t playing shitty top 40.
For the past couple of months, Clay had been coming over at least once a week to “jam”. He said he really liked their set at the battle of the bands and wanted to learn how to play “just a little harder”. Hunter said yes because he still felt like an ass for the wedding thing and it’s not like he had anything better to do with a broken leg. Over the past few months, Clay had quickly become one of his best friends. Not his best friend like Kevin, Kevin was his ride or die, his brother, Clay was something different. Maybe he just liked Clay, like surly that was a thing right? But then he thought back to the guy who used to work at the music store when he was 13 and yeah… that was probably a crush. And listen they were posers but Andy Black wasn’t unattractive. And Glenn Danzig in the 90s was hot too. And okay, yeah, he is gay.
Shit. How was he going to tell his dad? That’s what you do right? You realize you are gay and then you come out? His dad wasn’t like violently homophobic or anything but he definitely didn't have a problem making jokes at the expense of “queers”, and he definitely called Hunter that when he first brought home his makeup. So not only was Hunter proving his dad right but he was giving him another reason to be disappointed in him. Yet another reason he wasn’t the son his dad wanted. And just when they were starting to get back on better terms. Whatever he just won’t tell anyone ever and that will be that.
And then Kevin called.
He was calling to confirm the time for band practice tomorrow, it was a totally normal conversation until right before he hung up Hunter had to just blurt out “I’m gay!” and then they were just silent. Hunter wanted to hang up because this was embarrassing but he didn’t want to hang up because he wanted to know Kevin was cool with it. He needed to know Kevin would be cool with it because he was fine not telling anyone, but Kevin wasn’t anyone, he was Kevin. And in true Kevin fashion (awkward but supportive) he said
“uh okay, cool. Like seriously dude, that's great, uh cool. Uh I’m proud of you, um I’m sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me earlier I guess”
“Well I didn’t wait too long, I just figured it out like today”
“Wait today for real? What made you realize it today?”
“Well I realized that I wanted what you and Emily have but like with a guy”
“Yeah I would definitely say that's gay”
“Yeah I came to that same conclusion about 15 minutes ago”
“What guy? Like any guy specifically or just like a vague imaginary guy?”
“... uh like Danzig from the 90s or Mike from the music store when we were like 13 or like probably Clay Moss”
“I would say that Clay is probably the most attainable out of those three”
“Shut the fuck up, I’m going through an identity crisis I don’t need your shit talk or your false hope.”
“Dude I’m not talking shit, okay maybe a little, but I’m not giving you false hope. I honestly think Clay might like you”
“Shut the fuck up”
“No seriously, like he is bi, and he spends like a lot of time with you, and even back when you were at your most dick-ish he was still really cool with you.”
“That's just because he is a great guy- but wait what do you mean he is bi? How do you know that?”
“Dude he came out like last year, I thought you knew and that was part of the reason you didn’t like him at first”
“I didn’t pay attention to anything but metal last year and you know that. But seriously you thought I was just like homophobic?”
“Like maybe not homophobic homophobic but like, maybe just a little homophobic because shit your dad says”
“Okay yeah honestly that part might be true, and also part of the reason I just now figured this out”
“I’m sorry dude, your dad loves you though, I’m sure he will come around.”
“Yeah maybe but I’m not finding out any time soon”
“That's cool man, take it your pace, I’ll always be here for you.”
“Thanks Kevin, I’m going to go now listen to Judas Priest to collect my thoughts”
“Okay, see you tomorrow… Love you man”
“... Love you too dude, see you tomorrow”
Things weren’t perfect, he definitely still had an anger issue, and things with his dad weren't perfect or even that good, and they might be getting worse. But he had a chance with Clay maybe, and he had a best friend who supported him, and he had a band that was metal as fuck.