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It wasn’t the first time Maki witnessed Nobara waking up in a slight daze, and Maki knew it wouldn't be the last.
Nobara’s condition was still unstable. She was one of many who suffered greatly after Shibuya, but Maki wasn’t glued to the bedsides of the others. She stopped briefly to visit everyone of course, once she was finished with her own recovery, but she never stayed very long.
Her chest ached whenever she looked at the stump on Toge’s side, and it hurt even more to see his devastated face every time someone helped change the bandages. Even though it pained her to part from him while he was clearly experiencing an earth-shattering loss, she often left Toge in the care of Yuuta or Panda. She trusted they could look after him while Maki’s heart pulled her elsewhere.
Toge would heal, while Nobara remained critical. Her heart started beating again, Maki couldn’t believe that it ever stopped, but Nobara was far from recovered. Shoko's nervous expression every time Nobara shifted with a grunt told Maki everything she needed to know.
Nobara was barely hanging on, and even Nobara seemed aware of that fact during her occasional moments of clarity.
Sometimes she woke up covered in sweat, speaking deliriously as she looked at Maki with an expression akin to fear. Maki was used to people looking at her warily, but she never wanted that image to cross with the sight of Nobara.
Other times Nobara woke up for a few minutes with a different kind of fear, her eyebrows pulled together as she breathed sharply and tried to fight through another day. Nobara knew she was fading and that expression of fear was even worse than the pain of Nobara not recognizing Maki in her delirium.
She never stayed awake for long and Maki was oddly grateful for that. However, it also meant that Nobara needed to seize on her moments of consciousness while she could, reaching out to grasp whoever was nearby so she could speak what she seemed to fear would be her last words.
Maki always wanted to be the one Nobara reached for.
She didn’t care if it was selfish. Even if she didn’t acknowledge her feelings before, she did now. She and Nobara had something precious, but untouched. Maki wanted to unleash the storm; she wanted Nobara to hold her hand and confess whatever she needed before she succumbed to sleep once more.
Maki just wanted to be the one to hear it. She wanted it to be her.
For whatever reason, when Nobara woke up again in the middle of the night after another restless day of sleep, she seemed especially stressed. It was very likely she was in pain, or maybe she could feel something deep inside that she wasn’t able to verbalize, but the intensity of her gaze when her remaining eye shot open made Maki stiffen in her seat regardless of the cause.
“Maki,” Nobara croaked.
Her voice was always rough when she woke. Maki didn’t mind; she would listen to that scratchy voice for all of eternity as long as it meant Nobara was still able to use it.
“I’m here,” Maki said simply.
She wasn’t always there, but she was there now and that’s what mattered. She trusted Nobara would understand that.
Sometimes Nobara took a moment to recognize Maki even while free of fever. Maki understood; she knew she looked different while riddled with burns and sporting a buzzed head.
Nobara ever seemed upset for long though. In fact, her face always shifted into an awed smile that never failed to make Maki’s chest melt.
Maki knew she was attractive before. She hated to think so superficially, but looking in the mirror after suffering facial scars was still a difficult task. She tried not to think about it, but she still found herself scrutinizing every reflective surface she passed.
It was easier when Nobara’s uncovered eye lit up with joy the moment it roamed over Maki’s faceーburns and all.
“Maki,” Nobara repeated as a dopey smile spread across her face. The sound of Maki’s voice seemed to relax her, but the calm only lasted a moment. Maki’s own smile slipped as Nobara stiffened, attempting to sit up immediately.
Maki leaned back in shock. It was the most conscious she’d seen Nobara so far, but for some reason it didn’t provide her with the feeling of relief that she expected.
Nobara was leaning against the headboard, more upright than she’d been since she was admitted into the hospital room. She reached out for Maki with a steady hand, arms free of their usual pronounced shakes. When she grabbed Maki’s outstretched hand, her grip was tight.
“Maki,” she repeated, her gaze growing more desperate, “Maki, I need something.”
Maki’s mouth went dry. She nodded slowly, reaching up with her free hand to nudge her glasses back into place. They’d slipped slightly in her moment of shock, falling the moment Nobara’s smile did.
Maki was strong, but she felt unbearably weak under the intense gaze of her best friend.
She stared into Nobara’s widened eye as she spoke. The color was hypnotizing, and Maki mourned the fact that one of those warm eyes was gone forever. Maki shoved the thought away as soon as it formed; it was stupid to mope over beauty while Nobara was still alive in front of her.
Nobara’s life: that was what mattered.
“Anything,” Maki whispered, staring into Nobara’s eye as she waited for the request. Whatever it was, Maki knew she could provide; she'd find a way.
Nobara pressed her lips together and Maki followed the movement. Nobara’s lips were chapped, of course they were after she’d been laying in the hospital for days, but Maki was still drawn to the slight of them.
“Marry me,” Nobara demanded.
Maki blinked. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but it certainly wasn’t a proposal.
She briefly wondered if she was wrong about her initial suspicion that Nobara had regained some clarity. The request seemed so random, absurd , and Maki was left speechless. It was stupid; it was naive.
Nobara was squinting with a familiar determination though. Maki always loved when Nobara got that look, and this was no exception.
Maki swallowed through a tight throat and the accompanying burn made Maki wonder if that’s how Nobara felt. Nobara’s throat was undamaged from the attack, but days of barely eating or drinking made Nobara’s voice hoarseーit certainly sounded painful.
“What?” Maki asked. Maki knew she heard it correctly, but she still wanted to make sure. Nobara could be somewhat airheaded occasionally, usually while paired with Yuji, and she could be idealistic in the strangest way, but for whatever reason this seemed real.
Maki’s own heart picked up as she realized she wanted it to be real too. Everything was a complete mess, even her body was left in shambles, and she almost wanted a little absurdity of her own to enjoy for once.
“I want to marry you,” Nobara said, her lip wobbling slightly. Maki’s heart sank as Nobara’s eye welled up, brimming with tears that Nobara would never dare shed under normal circumstances.
Maki had a hard time denying Nobara anything, so she nodded. She nodded again just for good measure as Nobara sniffed, Maki’s hand shaking in Nobara’s tightening hold as she agreed.
“Sure,” Maki whispered, smirking to herself as the words rang out into the quiet room. She was held together by scars while Nobara was hooked up to tubes; they were both young and hopelessly impractical to even entertain such things, but Maki couldn’t imagine saying anything else.
Maki could only speak in a whisper. Nobara was the one with a damaged voice, but Maki was still confined to speaking in hushes.
Nobara smiled, her breath leaving in a sigh of relief as she nodded. Her tears hadn’t yet fallen, but her eye was still watery, and Maki suddenly understood.
Nobara thought she was going to die. And fuck if that didn’t kill Maki too.
Maki had no way of knowing if Nobara’s suspicion about her sudden demise was correct, but Nobara’s mind was clearly made up. She woke up wanting to free herself of any regrets; regrets that evidently included Maki.
She didn’t want to die alone, and Maki wouldn’t let her. She squeezed Nobara’s hand as she lifted her chin, a fierceness surging through her veins that usually came when she was facing curses. There was no physical enemy to defeat this time, but damn if Maki wasn’t going to fight.
Nobara smiled at her again, looking at Maki’s glower like it was something precious she wanted to remember. She stared at Maki like she'd hung all the stars in the sky, stars that Nobara couldn’t even see out the window of her hospital room while confined to a bed.
Maki could look at Nobara’s expression forever, and she needed Nobara to be wrong about her impending death so she could.
At the sight of Nobara’s happiness, Maki suddenly wasn’t sure if it was wise to give into Nobara’s supposed final wish. She knew that agreeing to marry Nobara was a way of accepting her demise, acknowledging the absurd idea that Nobara would let something kill her. Maki suddenly wanted to say no just out of spiteーshe wanted to tell Nobara to wait until she could stand at the end of the aisle to exchange their rings.
Maki was strong, but not strong enough to deny Nobara of her request. Nobara didn’t want to die alone, she didn’t want to die without her love being fulfilled, and Maki didn’t either.
The truth was, Maki didn’t know what her own future held. She knew she would face her clan soon and she was foolish to assume that it couldn't end in a similar fate as Nobara’s.
Maki had her own final wishes she wanted to fulfill.
“How do we do this?” Maki asked, her voice still soft. It sounded strange to her ears; Maki rarely sounded so gentle. Nobara possessed a special power to bring it out of Maki it seemed, although the dimly lit hospital room was definitely a contributor.
Nobara didn’t speakーinstead she reached out blindly with her free hand to grapple for something on her bedside table. Maki watched as Nobara’s hand brushed her hammerーShoko hadn’t taken it away and no one else wanted to either. Nobara squeezed her eye shut as she struggled to spread her fingers until she tapped one against a nail.
The nail was long and still slightly bent from use in Shibuya, but Nobara didn’t seem to mind. She pressed her finger against the nail and dragged it closer, letting go of Maki’s hand to clutch the nail with two hands once she managed to pick it up.
Maki kept her hand on the bed where Nobara left it, immediately missing the warmth. She didn’t voice her concern though, instead choosing to watch as Nobara bent the nail using all her strength.
Normally bending a nail would be an easy feat for Nobara, but Maki watched her arms shake as she tried to warp it into her desired shape. Even while nervous in a hospital bed, Nobara was persistent. She grunted as she forced the nail into a small circle, wiping away a few beads of sweat on her brow once she finished.
She held out the nail, now bent into a clumsy ring.
“For you,” Nobara said, holding it out for Maki to take.
Maki didn’t take it. Instead she lifted her hand and wiggled her fingers, not bothering to hold back a smile as Nobara gently slid it onto her ring finger.
The nail felt weird against Maki’s skin. The head of the nail scratched her knuckle as it slid down but Maki ignored the pain. She’d ignore a lot of pain as long as Nobara could stay content in exchange.
Maki held her hand out in front of her once Nobara was done, looking at the nail-ring wrapped around her. It was a little loose and very uncomfortable, but Maki knew she’d keep it forever. It would be easy to put the ring on a chain and wear it around her neck, keeping Nobara’s gift close to her heart where it belonged.
Nobara snagged Maki’s hand again, running her thumb over the nail. Maki hoped that the nail wouldn't scratch her, although she knew Nobara could handle much more than a tiny scratch from a nail. Nobara, like Maki, wasn’t afraid of pain and that was one of the many reasons Maki was enraptured by her.
“And you?” Nobara asked.
Maki bit her lip. She didn’t fight with anything small enough to morph into a ring and she never wore jewelry of her own. She suddenly wished she did; she wished that she had the finest of necklaces and bracelets to provide Nobara with.
Nobara would be the best dressed hospital patient the world had ever seen.
Maki slowly removed a black hair tie from her wrist. She had no need for it anymore, in fact she almost forgot she had it on. The hair tie proved useful though as she held it out on her open palm, staying silent as she offered Nobara everything she had to give.
Nobara smiled. “A wedding bracelet,” she said simply before holding out her hand just like Maki had.
Maki rolled the hair tie onto Nobara’s wrist slowly, taking her time to feel. She caressed Nobara’s skin along the way and rubbed her thumb against Nobara’s pulse point as she settled the hair tie into place.
Nobara’s heart was still beating. It felt slightly weak, but Nobara was strong. Her heart wasn’t going to stop yet.
Maki stared at the hair tie wrapped around Nobara’s wrist and tried to ignore the sudden ache in her chest.
Maki knew it wasn’t the wedding ceremony someone like Nobara would dream of. Maki never cared for those formalities, but she could imagine a young Nobara gasping at the sight of wedding gowns and floral arrangements.
It stung Maki a surprising amount to know that she couldn’t give Nobara that experience. Nobara, the girl who woke up and thought of a magical declaration of love with rings, was only left with a hair tie as a gift.
Nobara smiled anyway. Her eye was watery again, but she looked down at their intertwined hands and released a long breath through her nose. The sigh was one of contentment, and the pressure in Maki’s chest loosened at the sound.
“I now pronounce us wife and wife,” Nobara whispered shakily. She squeezed Maki’s hand and Maki tried to ignore the clamminess.
“I may kiss the bride,” Maki finished quietly. Even after she spoke, Maki remained motionless. She glanced up at Nobara cautiously, finding Nobara’s gaze locked onto her with a similar hesitation.
Nobara closed her unbandaged eye and nodded. Her face was flat, serious even in their moment of shared absurdity. They hadn’t kissed before, they hadn’t even allowed themselves to consider it, but now they were married in every way that counted. They were doing things backwards and they were far too young to make promises so great, but Maki didn’t care. She wanted it all and she was going to get it. They'd lost too much in Shibuya to bother being rational with their wishes.
“My favorite part,” Nobara hummed as Maki drifted closer.
Their hands were still intertwined, so Maki reached out and placed her other palm over them. She wanted to feel it all一she wanted to brush her thumb along Nobara’s hair tie and press her finger against the nail-ring. She wanted to savor every minute of their wedding because even though she wanted a thousand more moments of married bliss, she knew the world was willing to take them all away far too quickly.
Their kiss was soft. Both of them were still burdened with facial injuries and Nobara still didn’t have her usual energy, but Maki tried to savor it anyway. She pressed their lips together and inhaled deeply, sucking in air as her nose pressed into Nobara’s cheek.
She wanted to breathe in every trace of Nobara as she memorized her taste. She wanted to feel the sweat pressed between their palms and memorize the look of Nobara’s greasy hair. She wanted all of it一in sickness and in health, in hospital rooms and on a battlefield.
She wanted Nobara’s memory with her always, and she wanted Nobara standing at her side to recall everything with her.
She could feel the moment Nobara fell asleep again. Her lips stopped pressing back into Maki’s as she went slack, and Maki pulled away to help her settle against the pillows more comfortably. Nobara’s hand still held Maki’s tightly; it didn’t surprise Maki that she was still powerful in her sleep.
Their first kiss wasn’t a fairytale that swept Nobara off her feet, but instead a calming peck that allowed her to slip into a dream of peace. Maki considered it a success regardlessly, because it was their spontaneous wedding and she was going to enjoy it no matter what.
They deserved that much.
Maki stayed with a sleeping Nobara for as long as she could. She wanted to stay longer, she wanted to spend the night of their wedding close to Nobara’s side as they shared sleep, but life had other plans.
Maki couldn’t stay in Nobara’s presence forever, but at least Nobara could know that Maki was hers. She hoped Nobara would wake up and tuck her finger under the hair tie, remembering their muted ceremony.
Maki couldn’t hold their wedding over Nobara’s head as an incentive to heal, but at least she could promise Nobara a future. Maki knew that she, herself, would be holding onto that image一she’d be thinking of vows and proper kisses as she burned her old life to the ground. The future was theirs to take and Nobara had to be around to see it.
With the wedding jewelry exchanged and Nobara sleeping off her panic, Maki decided for them both that death wasn’t going to part them.
…
“Is the necklace new?”
Maki pressed her lips together and hummed, ignoring Yuuta’s small nod in response.
She’d caught him eyeing it a few times already. She didn’t blame him for asking though; he was probably looking for something to talk about as they tried to deal with the aftermath of the Shibuya mess. They couldn’t solely rely on Yuji and Megumi to fill the silence as they walked to their next mission.
Yuuta seemed burdened by a lot of guilt after Shibuya. He wasn’t around to help during the chaos, and he spent enough time in Toge’s room afterwards to witness the consequences.
Maki glanced at him, watching as he pushed some hair out of his eyes. It was long, longer than Maki’s now. Yuuta changed a lot in his absence and Maki found she couldn’t look away from the proof of it.
Maki fiddled with the chain hanging around her neck, squeezing the nail between her thumb and index finger once before releasing it and letting it dangle. She never quite understood Yuuta's devotion to a curse, but with the memory of Nobara's one eye watering as she slid a nail onto Maki's finger, Maki suddenly felt exposed.
“It’s from my wife,” Maki said suddenly.
Yuuta kept walking next to her. He didn’t miss a beat, simply turning towards her slowly to glance at the necklace again. She watched his eyes widen ever so slightly as he processed the ring-like shape, blinking as his eyes rose up to meet Maki’s once more.
He smiled sadly, a face full of understanding. He didn’t reach for his own ring, but Maki knew it was there. He always kept it close, just like Maki did with her own.
“I’m sure she wants you to stay safe,” Yuuta said eventually.
Maki kicked the ground with the heel of her boot. She walked slightly faster, her heart thumping in satisfaction as the ring swung in tandem with her steps.
“She has no reason to worry,” Maki scoffed.
Maki hoped she was right.
“Yeah,” Yuuta said with a smile. He nodded, finally breaking his attention away from Maki to look straight ahead. “She doesn’t.”
Maki and Nobara had the future ahead of them. Maki was going to make it for them both even if it nearly killed her, but she wouldn’t let fate deliver the final blow. She and Nobara both had something to return to now.
They were bold enough to make the future theirs, building on the whispers of the hospital room to make something that lasts. Nobara was strong, just like the nail dangling around Maki’s neck, and Maki was ready to bask in their shared triumph.
No more final wishes to fulfillーthey only had the future.