Work Text:
14:12
An ADDED Haruka AND Mizuki TO A NEW CHAT
THE CHAT HAS BEEN NAMED mystery pals 👀
An: so u all know my best frenemy akito
Haruka: Not personally, but you’ve mentioned him enough I almost feel like I do
An: yeah yeah w/e
An: he needs like. help
An: and haruka ik ur gf has like. a true crime podcast that she was looking for episodes for
Haruka: Minori and I aren’t dating, and we don’t cover murders, you know that
An: yeah yeah ik ena’s not like. dead or anything
An: we think
An: also wait we??? thought u werent joining it
Haruka: To be completely honest, I’m still not entirely sure. But Shizuku and Airi both say it’ll be good for me, and Minori’s really enthusiastic about it, which is very cute
An: gayass
Haruka: That is absolutely nothing new. How are you and Kohane doing, by the way?
An: i think she might like me back??? she kissed me a couple times idk
Haruka: Oh good so friend kisses are actually a thing
An: ???
Haruka: I may have accidentally kissed Minori a few days ago, and then said it was a friend thing. And then Airi made me kiss her and Shizuku to prove it
An: OH MY GOD???
Haruka: So the four of us have been doing friend kisses for the past week
What the fuck even is wrong with you girls
An: Mizuki???
No, actually, I’m one of their friends. We’re all on vacation at the moment.
But I repeat, What The Fuck Even is going on here
An: my frenemy akitos bitchass sister ena has gone missing and im asking for help finding her
As if he cares
An: bro u dont even know him???
An: and for the record he DOES care hes out of his mind with worry abt her
No way
An: yes way
Haruka: I would think An would know her best frienemy better than you, those two have been hanging out for literally years now
An: yeah. and hes been losing it all morning and the only reason it took me so long to text haruka and mizuki is that i was at work. so uhhh Fuck You dude
Huh. You seriously believe that? A couple girls who think “friend kisses” are real?
An: literally what is ur problem
*your
An: listen jackass my friends SISTER is missing so kindly fuck off and give the phone back to mizuki or w/e before I reach through this phone and FUCKING THROTTLE YOU
As if you could reach me? You don’t even know where I am.
An: bitch fuck u im tall enough to wrap my hands around your bitch ass throat
Oh yeah? How do you know? I know we’ve never met before
An: uhhhh fuck u thats how
I guess your parents never taught you manners
Also, you're not my type lol
An: we've literally never met before???
Akito's friends are very much Not My Type
An: fuck u dont talk shit abt my bestie
An: worstie
An: whatever
An: eat shit and die mad about it bitch
Says the one whose parents never taught them basic politeness
An: my dad taught me plenty but u arent a paying customer or a cute girl so like. whyyy would I use them
I am the cutest girl, excuse you
An: lmao prove it
An: damn girl thats hot
Haruka: UM AN????
An: i mean kohanes the only one for me still but. Hot Damn
An: tho the colors are. kinda funky
The lighting where I am is absolutely terrible
Haruka: To the person texting from An’s friend’s phone—not only am I fairly certain both Minori and Airi follow you on Instagram, but I think I know who you are.
How unfortunate for you. Don’t say a word.
Haruka: Why not?
Does the name Asahina Mafuyu mean anything to you?
Haruka: No, I’m afraid not.
Exactly.
Does the name Asahina Mafuyu mean anything to you?
An: uhhh ya actually
What?
An: help us look for ena and we’ll tell u lol
You’re just making this up.
An: wow lol gaslighty much?? anyway All Of Us are looking for ena and that name came up in our search. lol. so suck my ass bitch
In what context did Mafuyu’s name come up?
An: that info’ll cost u bitch
What happened to being polite to cute girls?
An: doesnt count when u insult my friends. nd yes before u say something akito DOES count as my friend we’re frenemies which includes FRIEND so uhhh go fuck urself
And here I was going to give you information on Shinonome Ena.
An: i take back every ride thing ive said abt u o beautiful goddess
An: *rude
What do you know about Mafuyu? Tell me that and I’ll give you information on Ena
An: she vanished like a few days ago and nobody remembers she existed other than my friend toya’s mentor’s friend, and we’re helping look for her and they’re helping look for ena
An: what do u know abt Ena
She doesn’t want to be found.
An: how do u know that
Runaways don’t typically want to be found
So tell Akito to stop worrying and start enjoying being an only child.
An: GOOOOO FUUUUUUCK URSEEEEEELLLLLFFFFFF