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The fall from grace hurt.
Though Ei had sent her away, Sara lingered long enough. She had to. Staying seemed to be the only way to cope. She had lived in the village alongside the citizens of Inazuma for what felt like years, in reality it couldn’t have been more than a month. That was when she had gotten the gentle prod to listen to Ei’s words, to see the world. She didn’t want to though. That meant leaving the familiar behind, and Sara wasn’t sure she could do something like that. She didn’t want to do something like that. There were extended periods of silence, no one was there to fill it. Sara had never been a conversationalist, and she only had ever truly spoken to Ei, or her soldiers. Now she didn’t have to speak to either.
There was no pressing war, there was no person for Sara to serve unconditionally. She was truly alone.
This was why she had decided to take Ei’s advice–unfortunate as it may have been– and travel Teyvat. Traveling was a little too easy for Sara, even if she didn’t want to take her leave from Inazuma. She had decided Liyue would be a decent place to go, not wanting to experience the chill of Mondstadt winds. It seemed unsavory to wither away in the cold, she wanted a warmth that was familiar to her despite the cold airs that her former employer had presented. The boat ride was shorter than Sara would have thought, surprised that Kazuha had offered her a spot on Captain Beidou’s ship.
“Sara!” Beidou grinned at the other woman. Sara found she was almost too welcoming. “Don’tcha wanna come ‘n grab somethin’ to drink with us? We’ve got plenty to do when we set foot into Liyue. But there’s always time for a drink!” Beidou winked, to which Sara shook her head. She had never been so withdrawn. Usually bold, but in an elegant way, Sara didn’t know how to react to the other woman’s forward nature.
“No thank you,” Sara said quietly. “Do you need any help with anything?” Sara wondered if she was taking up necessary space. She didn’t want to be bothering the people who had so graciously allowed her into their space. She had always been used to forcing her way in– all thanks to her position at Ei’s side– no one had ever welcomed her in as these people had. People she had wronged on top of that. Someone like Kazuha had no place allowing someone like Sara into a space that was personally his. Still, she was appreciative.
When the ship docked, Sara dipped her head to Beidou. “Thank you, I’m indebted to you.” Whilst Beidou waved off her thanks, Sara took her leave. Shoes clicking against the streets of Liyue, she wandered towards the Wanmin Restaurant. She ordered an exorbitant amount of Liyue specialties, packaging many of them to bring along on her journey. Her journey to where exactly? Sara had absolutely no idea where she was headed. There were mountains in the distance, but she wasn’t sure that was where she was meant to be. Where would Sara fit?
Nowhere, not without Ei. That damned Miko had taken Ei from her! How was it fair? Sara had to be alone while Miko and Ei were together. Miko just swooped in after all Sara had done for Ei. It wasn’t even fair!
Lost in thought, Sara had run into someone far shorter than her, and as she narrowed her eyes at the shorter person, she realized who it was. The Balladeer? The other seemed to recognize her, turning to run when Sara’s arm thrust itself out, grabbing onto the boy’s shoulder. Her grasp was firm, almost harsh as he let out a whimper. Round eyes peered up almost nervously at her while she scrutinized his features. Looking at him like this, he just seemed like a scared child. For a moment, Sara wondered why he had even made Ei feel threatened in the first place.
“Hey! You can’t do that! You have no authority he-” Sara glared at the shorter of the two, grabbing him by the wrist.
“Shut it,” she hissed. “I need your help with something, and you will listen. Do you know a place where we can speak?”
The Balladeer blinked, surprise coating his features. How could the woman expect him to trust her? Though something within him understood. He nodded, “First, release me.” Sara glared, shaking her head.
“No. I’m no fool, I know you can’t be trusted. You could run into the mountains for all I know.”
“Fine.” The Balladeer skulked as he led the woman to a small building, one he had been calling home for quite some time. “So what is it? Here to kiss Ei’s ass some more? I can't believe someone like you would be asking me for help.”
Sara grimaced, looking at the other. “I don’t work for Ei anymore.”
Scaramouche stared, almost in shock. “You don’t?” He had never heard anyone use the Raiden’s name so casually. As if they were friends, but Sara had spit the word out with so much malice, he knew she was telling the truth.
“No, she has no use for me any longer. Just like she had no use for her puppet. She has abandoned her old ways, bringing Inazuma to be… different. I no longer want to serve her. She said for me to see the world, to do new things. I can no longer even bring myself to respect her.”
That wasn’t true. Sara’s heart had been smashed into a million pieces though, she felt so empty. So lonely. She couldn’t even face Ei because she knew if she did, she would sob uncontrollably. How humiliating it was. Scaramouche could only stare at the woman before him, almost in disbelief. Finally, someone else saw it, they understood how he had felt for so long. A little too long. Sara understood, in a strange way she understood, and he wanted to help her.
“So you came here.” It was a little too clear to the man now. “I’m afraid you’re too late,” he said simply. “I’m not the person you need to speak with, that is, if you intend on joining the fatui.”
Sara almost frowned, but she had trained her composure for too long. She knew better than to lose her stance now. “Who would I see then?” She eyed the shorter of the two for a moment, before sighing. She had to have someone to turn to.
“Childe.”
“A child?”
“No, his name is Childe.”
“That’s not… That’s an unfortunate name.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Where do I find him?”
Silence followed that question.
“Well?” Sara glared at Scaramouche.
“You may find him in Liyue Harbor. You can say I sent you, though I’m not sure my name will do you a world of good.”
Sara shrugged. It was worth a try. She had already stood, not wanting to waste more time with the other. “Thank you,” was all she said as she fled the scene. Now she had to head back to the harbor. Where could this ‘Childe’ be?
————
The walk to the harbor wasn’t far, but nightfall had quickly approached. Sara had gotten a room at the inn, which was a little too far from the harbor. Having taken refuge in the inn, Sara relaxed. Her mind wandered, recalling the words that had been spoken to her. Watching Miko and Ei walk around. She could see it now... Yae's face taunting her in her sleep while she closed her eyes. Her dreams were a mess too. Deep purple hair cascading over purple clothes, Miko was braiding Ei's hair while Sara watched. They didn't notice her, nor did they care. They never cared. Sara had to be alone while she watched Miko and Ei embraced, Miko tucking a strand of hair behind Ei's ear and kissing the top of her head. Sara's skin crawled as she thrust herself between the two, aiming an arrow for Miko's forehead, before Ei spoke. "Sara, no. I love her." Something about the words stung, making Sara reel back, gasping. "You- You both! You can't be-" She stumbled back, tripping off of the cliff she had been watching them from, before- Sara jerked awake, trying to ignore the nightmare. She devised a plan, she began to ask around the inn. Did they know someone named Childe? A few people had shining things to say, smiling as they commented on how helpful the man had been. He didn’t sound like a member of the fatui, but maybe he went by something else.
She tried to identify him, though she had been searching for two days now and she still hadn’t found him. When she was walking the road from the the inn to the harbor, she saw someone else walking the opposite direction. Tall, with ginger hair. Her eyes lit up. This had to be him! It was how he had been described to her twice now. “Excuse me?” She ran towards him, looking up at the other. “Are you Childe?” The man grinned, nodding.
“The one and only.”
Remarks like that had always annoyed her, she wondered if the other knew something about that. Stupid remarks, she supposed it was possible. He didn’t seem the brightest. He just seemed tall. Gazing over at the other, Sara crinkled her nose in distaste.
“Alright, then I have been looking for you.” She spoke a little too formally for what others likely understood or thought. Liyue and Inazuma had always been different as far as Sara was concerned. “I wish to join you.”
Childe looked puzzled. “Huh?”
“I need help. I want to join the Fatui.” Sara sighed softly. “I feel that the Raiden Shogun has wronged everyone. In too many ways.”
“You can’t just- Join.”
Sara frowned. “Then let me prove myself. I can prove myself in any way, give me any task.” The man raised an eyebrow.
“How so?”
“I’ve trained under the woman who killed La Signora. You followed her, yes? If she had any hand in training you, then I’m sure I could easily best you in battle. Delusion or not. Though giving me a delusion would level the playing field. If you’re so confident you could beat me, then it would be embarrassing to not raise the stakes.”
Sara stared, not bothered by the way that the other looked at her as if she was joking. “I’m not kidding,” she clarified. “We could spar here and now. You’re a harbinger, are you not?” She sighed softly, shaking her head. “Don’t act so scared.”
“Hey, who said I’m scared?”
“You were quiet for too long.”
“We can’t just battle it out here. We’re not exactly in a place that could take damage.”
“Nature regrows.”
“I’m not tryna get the Milleth on my case.”
“We aren’t exactly in the heart of Liyue harbor.”
“People will see regardless. I’ve got a reputation to keep up here.”
Shaking her head, Sara looked at Childe. “I’m ashamed. And here I thought that you would be the great harbinger that the Balladeer claimed you were.”
“You’ve seen him? Recently?”
Sara grinned. “I can’t say. But I feel you’re in need of a replacement. He left your ranks, Signora is dead. The Fatui harbingers are not what they once were. I have ties to a god, an archon, whatever you want to call her. Together we could bring them down. Each archon, one by one. Is that not what you want?” What did the Fatui even want? She didn’t care, as long as she was able to be seen by Ei.
“Listen, I get it. I think… It’s worth a shot. But we can’t just jump into things. I’ll walk with you back to the inn. So we can talk about things, because I think… You would make a decent harbinger. But we cannot rush into this kinda stuff. Y’know?”
Sara felt her chest swell. Ei would grow to regret her choice. How could she not? She would see Sara, full of power, able to destroy the god herself. That was all she wanted. If Ei didn’t see her as her beloved equal, then there was no place for Ei in Sara’s world.