Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2015-04-30
Words:
1,859
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
6
Kudos:
62
Bookmarks:
6
Hits:
1,287

Fuck It

Summary:

Scott gives Virgil a proposition he literally cannot refuse, Virgil plays piano like the loser he is, Jeff is just kind of confused, and Gordon slaps Alan with cash money. Also, Star Trek.

Notes:

i spent 2.5 hours on this i give up

i'm so sorry it's so to the point i have a problem with that

Work Text:

Virgil was having a fan-fucking-tastic day.
Apparently Alan thought it was socially acceptable to use an air horn to wake his brother up, and Gordon believed sticking small squids in all of Virgil's cabinets and drawers was hilarious. And to top it off, Grandma had finally captured Virgil and commanded him try the cereal she had somehow managed to set on fire.
The only good part of this godforsaken day was discussing with Brains which 20th century TV show had most accurately predicted the future, leading to a good-natured debate. Virgil's spirits were lifted as he parted with Brains, heading to his bedroom to sleep. It seemed Scott disagreed with this course of action, as he was standing in the doorway.
"What do you want, Scott?" Virgil sighed, wishing nothing more than to simply lay on his bed.
"No, I think the question is, what do you want?"
"What?"
Scott smirked. "You aren't very good at hiding your affection for Brains, lil bro."
"...What. I don't know what you're talki-"
Scott waved a hand dismissively, effectively interrupting Virgil. "Don't try to deny it. I've seen the way you act around him." Scott pulled what he considered a lovestruck face and clutched at his chest. "'Oh Brains, you're so smart and handsome! I want to spend all my time with you!'" Scott ended with a poor imitation of Virgil's voice.
"I don't sound like that." Virgil crossed his arms.
Scott snorted. "Sure, Virg. Enthusiastically volunteering to help Brains with, hell, everything, is not exactly subtle."
"I'm just interested in his projects."
"You volunteered to research the capabilities of spiders."
Virgil shrugged. "I saw it as an opportunity to get over my fear."
Scott sighed, mumbled something suspiciously like 'thisispathetic' and finally spoke. "Alright Virg, I'm giving you an ultimatum. Either you get over yourself and do something about you and Brains tomorrow, or I tell him about your crush on him."
"First, crush is a completely juvenile word, really I expect better of you as the oldest brother, second of all, what the fuck?"
Scott smirked, clapped a hand on Virgil's shoulder and spoke his final words of wisdom. "Don't want to keep you too long from your beauty sleep, Virg."
Then promptly left.
Virgil stood outside his door in shock for a few minutes, before recovering and locking his door. He had decided to guard against any more unpleasant awakenings.
Not quite sure what to do with himself now, nor what to think of Scott's words, Virgil simply fell onto the bed and eventually went to sleep.


The sun was shining over the island, the birds were singing beautiful melodies, and Virgil wanted to strangle his brothers. He had stepped out of his bedroom to discover that the floor outside was no longer linoleum, but vaseline. Virgil made his way to the living room/research room/launchpad/mission control/whatever the hell it is, silently cursing the people he had to unfortunately call his siblings. Virgil brightened slightly upon spotting his treasured piano. It had become slightly damaged over time, due to a few attacks on the island and the ferret incident, but still played beautifully. As no one seemed to be around, probably plotting more torture for poor Virgil, he sat on the bench and prepared to play. Virgil found that he could think more clearly while playing, though usually not in the presence of others. His thoughts wandered to the conversation he had with Scott last night and idly wondered how much weed was still hidden away in his room. Hadn't their father confiscated it all?
Anyways, for some reason Scott had this strange notion that Virgil had some sort of romantic inclination towards Brains. Well, Virgil certainly liked Brains, they were friends, were they not? And, yes, Virgil liked being around Brains, and listening to him talk, but that doesn't necessarily mean that Virgil thought Brains was pretty handsome, or the smartest person alive, or had a lovely voice, or downright fucking adorable like holy shit, have you ever seen the guy -
Virgil suddenly realized he had been playing Hopeless Love by Elias Rahbani.
Virgil mentally slapped himself.
Virgil decided that that was not enough, and promptly slapped himself with the piano.
This didn't quite work, and simply lead to Virgil smashing his face on the keys, resulting in a horrid, jarring noise.
This noise is most likely what brought Jeff to the room.
"Virgil, are you alright?" He asked uncertainly.
"Just peachy." Virgil mumbled from the piano keys, before heaving himself up. Jeff stood aside and watched as Virgil left the room, with a faintly worried look.


Virgil decided to at least talk to Brains, lest Scott stick with his promise. Knocking on his door, Virgil had only a few moments in which to compose himself and think of something to- shit the door is already open what the fuck is he supposed to say?
"Doyoumaybewanttogowatchsomestartrekwithme?" The words spilled ever so gracefully out of Virgil's mouth.
"I-I'm sorry, what?"
Virgil swallowed. "Do you want to go watch some Star Trek with me?"
Brains smiled. "O-Of course!"
Virgil had to mentally restrain himself from cheering while walking with Brains to the so-called cinema room, which was in actuality not a cinema, but a huge-ass TV hung on the wall with the comfiest couches ever facing it.
Brains settled on a couch while Virgil flicked through the DVDs.
"Do you want to watch the Trouble with Tribbles or a Piece of the Action?"
"Tribbles."
"Right on." Virgil popped the DVD in the slot, grabbed the remote, and sat next to Brains.


"O-Oh my god," Brains gasped from laughing. "Spock!"
Virgil held up one hand in the vulcan salute. "Ah, Tribbles. They do indeed have one redeeming characteristic."
"What's t-that?" Replied Brains, mimicking Doctor McCoy.
"They do not talk too much. If you'll excuse me, sir."
Virgil and Brains collapsed in a pile of laughter and tears.
"F-Four credits."
"Is that an offer or a joke?"
"That's my o-offer."
"That's a joke."
The two were shaking from laughter, repeating their favorite lines until they were gasping for air.
While squirming all over the couch due to the comedy they had just experienced, Virgil had landed right on top of Brains. Neither of them noticed at first, and then when they did, pretended not to see.
They were still gasping slightly, with Virgil clutching Brains' shirt to keep himself from falling. As the laughter died out, Virgil's brain shifted right into overdrive. He became highly aware of their position, and the contact he had with Brains. He could either panic, or go to plan B. Problem was, there was no plan B.
"Fuck it." He simply whispered, and unhesitatingly kissed Brains.
Virgil had suddenly lost all rational thought, which quickly returned all at once once Virgil realized that Brains was kissing back
"Am I interrupting something?" A voice sounded from the doorway. The two instantly snapped away from each other, staring at the intruder in shock.
Gordon simply smirked, and took a sip of his beer.
"What -," Virgil tried to remember how to speak. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Gordon shrugged. "Nothing. I guess Alan owes me 20 bucks now. Later." He left.
Taking his eyes from where Gordon was, Virgil once again became very, very aware of the person below him.
"Uh..." Virgil said eloquently.
"Er..." Brains replied, just as smooth-spoken. There was a pause. A really long pause. Virgil was the first to break the silence.
"So, uh, yeah. I've kind of, been meaning to ask... wouldyouliketodateme?"
"Virgil, I-I'm afraid I can't understand when you t-talk like that."
Virgil sighed, closed his eyes, and prepared for the worst. "Would. You. Like. To. Date. Me."
The lack of a reply made Virgil freeze and oh god this wasn't a good idea at all way to go self
Virgil's inner monologue was interrupted by arms making their way around his body.
"Of c-course, Virgil." Brains almost whispered.
Virgil's head swung upwards to stare at Brains. "Really?"
"Yes."
And then Virgil was kissing Brains again, only this time it was expected by both. Virgil tangled his fingers in Brains' hair, whose arms tightened around his waist. This continued until Virgil had Brains pinned down on the couch, the two now engaged in sucking face.
But luck was not on their side, as they broke away immediately at what seemed to be the sound of a dying horse.
Alan now stood in the doorway, eyes wide and unmoving.
Nobody said anything to break the awkward silence, until Virgil spoke.
"Apparently you owe Gordon 20 bucks." He said helpfully.
Alan blinked.
He then clutched his abdomen, mumbled something like 'ohmygod', and ran.
Virgil sighed and got up, extending an arm down to help Brains.
"Why," Virgil asked the image of Spock on the DVD packaging, "Can I never catch a break?"
Brains coughed. "You happen to live on Tracy Island, Virg."
"True."


That night was a family dinner, which included John, who was still floating around in a hunk of metal in space. Virgil and Brains were relatively quiet, while Kayo and Alan loudly discussed some topic no one remembered, Gordon and Scott attempted to make small talk while Jeff kept interrupting, and John simply listened to his strange family.
After Kayo and Alan had settled whatever it was, Gordon leaned across the table to smirk at Virgil.
"You've been awfully silent, Virg. Anything you'd like to share?"
"Yes, actually. I never pegged you as the guy who sets bets with his brothers."
Scott simply laughed, as Alan rued the loss of 20 dollars. Gordon poked Alan with the bills, and Jeff tried to ask Scott what the hell is going on.
John looked quizzical. "What were you guys betting on?"
Virgil shrugged. "I'd like to know myself."
Gordon was too busy slapping Alan with the money, so Scott spoke up.
"Apparently it was a bet on when you and Brains would get together."
Jeff choked on his peas, Brains stared at the ceiling and whispered something like 'godgivemestrength', and John hit his head on the wall.
Jeff coughed, and quickly recovered. "That's wonderful!"
John floated back into view on the screen. "That's great, guys! Ow..."
"This is your reaction?" Virgil asked his father.
Jeff beamed. "Of course! Brains is practically a Tracy himself at this point!"
Gordon stood up from his chair, one hand flung dramatically over his face.
"You got married?!? Without telling your own brothers?!? For shame, Virgil, for shame!"
"Gordon, wait -"
"No, Virgil! Gordon clutched his oh-so-broken heart. "Brains is a Tracy now and you only invite your father to the wedding?!?" He sashayed to Kayo's chair and 'wept' unto her shoulder, as she awkwardly patted his arm.
"Exactly, Virgil. I am hurt as well." She said flatly.
After a moment's pause, everyone burst out laughing. John wiped away tears, and Gordon bowed for his amazing performance.
The night ended without any other incidents, and Brains and Virgil agreed that sharing a bed was much nicer than sleeping alone, though they should probably do something about the pictures Scott, Gordon and Alan took the next morning.