Chapter Text
Akiyama Mizuki lived their whole life building a wall between themself and everyone else. They didn’t mind the rumors their classmates spread around. They didn’t mind the loneliness that came with it. There was comfort in the solitude it brought. There was safety in the guard around their heart. It was fine this way. This was the way things should be. They wouldn’t get close to anyone and they wouldn’t let anyone in either. If they went their whole life like this, they wouldn’t have minded.
But they didn’t.
Kamishiro Rui walked into their life with no warning. He was weird, he was loud, he never listened to Mizuki when they told him to leave them alone. But despite everything, Mizuki couldn’t help but be drawn to him. His eyes weren’t like everyone else’s. They held safety and understanding. Maybe a bit too much understanding. Mizuki could tell he had his own demons to deal with, if not his own wall he built, but they never pried, just like Rui never did. There was a silent understanding between them as they got each other through middle school. He was the one to take out the first brick.
Shiraishi An didn’t have the same loud entrance as Rui. Even now Mizuki couldn’t exactly pinpoint how she got to them. By the time they got into high school, rumors about Mizuki already started circulating, but An never seemed to care for them. She always approached Mizuki carefully, never crossing any lines, never breaking any boundaries. Her eyes weren’t like everyone else’s either. They held warmth and comfort. Mizuki could swear they could see a bit of loneliness in those eyes, but An never showed that side for too long. They didn’t have to pry, because An didn’t either. They both found solace in each other’s presence, and that was all they both needed. She was the one to take out the second brick.
Shinonome Ena on the other hand was a problem. A big big problem.
Somehow her and Mizuki instantly clicked when they met through 25ji. But not in the way normal friends would. Mizuki didn’t know if they could even be considered friends. They constantly bickered, Mizuki always liked to get on Ena’s nerves, Ena always had a snarky remark to bite back with. This didn’t change even after they met each other in real life and got closer to each other. There was a feeling of comfort to their whole back and forth that Mizuki couldn’t understand.
At some point that feeling of comfort stopped being just related to their bickering, and started being there whenever they were around Ena. No, not just Ena anymore. 25ji as a whole. And just like that, the thing that Mizuki tried to avoid the most happened. They found people that they wanted to be with for their whole life.
That’s not possible.
But what if it was?
You’ll have to lie to them your whole life.
But what if they didn’t have to?
No one would accept the real you.
…
They knew.
They knew that better than anyone.
No, they couldn’t let the wall they worked so hard to build be broken down. They understood now. Rui and An were safe, they never pushed. Ena did. She constantly did. Her eyes were different than everyone else’s too. Her eyes were different from An and Rui’s too. They held two things Mizuki knew they were undeserving of. They held kindness and love. Kamishiro Rui and Shiraishi An just took one brick each. Shinonome Ena could break down the whole wall if Mizuki let her.
And they wouldn’t. Or at least that’s what they told themself.
In reality they knew Ena was already there, hand pressed against the wall that needed one more push. Because Mizuki was an idiot. They were an idiot and they let themself fall in love with those eyes that gave them things they didn’t deserve.
The worst part was the fact that they knew how in the end, it wouldn’t work.
It couldn’t work.